The Gym vs. Baconeggandcheese

much until it's time to work out. I burned calories arguing before I even get to the gym, so I get to workouts to day. That's why I'm in such great shape. Thank you so much. You're welcome. You're welcome, dead as Hey. I'm Codin and we're the ellis Is. You may know us from posting funny videos without boys and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy. I'm making need therapy most days. Wow. And one more important thing to mention, we're married. Yes, so we are.

We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of life's most taboo topics, things most folks don't want to talk about through the lens of a Millennium married couple. Dead ass is a term that we say every day. Where we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one, the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. We're about to take Philow's off to a whole new level. Dead as starts. Now, let's see the story he comes

up with. There's a lot of them, but this day in particular, I wake up in the morning, right Codeine's upset. She's upset, and I'm like, what's the matter with you? And She's just like, I don't, like, how are you looking at any of my cloes? Looking at my golos? So she proceeded to put on almost everything in the closet and it didn't fit. This was right after she had Jackson. So I was like, you know, you just had a baby. You know what I'm saying, you gotta work out to get back. I can't tell you no

more I'm not having no more kids. Listen, So let's go to the gym and workout. She's like, you know what, I don't want to work out. I just want to go get surgery. I'm like, you still if you get surgery, but they eat like you're still pregnant. All the weight is gonna come back, like you're gonna have to You're gonna have to work either way, so you might as well start workingfect When I was pregnant with Jackson and I went from like one thirty five to so she

gained forty three pounds. Right, So now she she tells me, I don't like my body. I want you to help me. So you guys know, I played in the NFL, I was tied. I trained like an athlete. So I'm like, you're gonna come with me and train with me. So I put the harness on her heart, had her running sleds, had a lifting weights. I'm not a football player. I am not a football player. I'm like, yo, you asked

me to help you, I'm gonna help you. We sat in the gym this day and argue for two hours and said, you know what, I'm not doing this no more. Just to avoid getting a divorce, I had to hire my friend to train my wife. And that's how she

got in shape. Absolutely. See, we knew when to throw the towel in and cut our losses and higher help one and two and three info and get them sit ups right like this, She's so excited and I don't be excited to work out, So don't ask me if I'm going to the gym today with you, because chances are I'm not. Okay, Okay, ladies and gentlemen, my wife wants to look good. It hates to work out. I don't know, I cannot. I just can't get over it.

Sometimes like it's like my my brain wants to do it, but then it's like my heart wants to do it, but my body don't want to do it. So and this is, this is this is part of the reason why we wanted to have this conversation because we hear a lot of people that you email us, you text us, how do you guys deal with physical appearance in your relationship. Codeine had talked before about, you know, snapping back, and we've got a lot of response from women, you know,

to discuss the snap back. So we want to talk about how we as a couple of workout because you know, they say, you know, in this fit era, because couples that trained together stay together, right. I don't agree. I don't agree we were trained together because we have to. We're training together loosely, I would say, too, we do we loosely? Trained together. We we have parts of the workout that we take together, meaning like we may be in the gym together but not working out simultaneously. You

know what I mean? I know want to bow out with devour sometimes and just be like, you know what, I'm gonna go do my own things. I'll call my sister up and I'll go out with her and we'll do our own little So let me ask you a real question, the serious questions. Just man question needs to ask his wife, what is so difficult about listening to your husband when he gives you advice that you you will take advice from someone's Like, what's so difficult about

listening to me? Because I can say the same exact thing as Dr oz do Loo and you will not listen to me, But then come to me later on in show me an exact video of what they said. He'll be like to difficult about listening? I don't know.

I think it's just the timing, Like sometimes I just don't be in the mood to hear at that moment in time, and you choose to tell me at that moment in time, and you know, it's just like it's like a parent child relationship, Like you can tell your child the same thing over and over and over again, and they won't realize that sometimes until they hear it from somebody else. So it's so it's timing, So it happened. Don't don't try to be my father neither, because it's work.

It's the wrong timing. So like when you're about to squat and I'm trying to trying to correct you so you don't get hurt if that's wrong timing, like me trying to correct you, Solf, you don't die squat rack. No, No, you're good at squats. I'll give you that. You have a lot of practice on that bodyweight squats especially, but I'm not. I just feel like whenever we're in the gym, if I try to help you with an exercise, you're

always just like, I can't do it that way. Then you'll show me somebody doing it the way I told you and be like, look, baby, this is why it depends. It depends on my mood. To be completely honest, when it comes to working out. Sometimes I just have to

talk myself into it, so just getting more feedback. Sometimes it's just not even, and then I feel bad, like spassing on dollar or like somebody else, so I just spats on hum Instead, give me, as a man, some advice on how to help navigate the situation because I'm gonna LA's frustrating, like niggas be tired of the ship.

I go to the gym a lot upset when you're with me, Like I always have to go into the office and decompress before I go train because we're always arguing on our way and argue when we get there. So help me out. Give me an example of how I can help you through that process. I mean, just don't help me the help that you've got, no no, I. When I say that, I mean the help. The help comes in the form of knowing that you need to bow out and you're not going to be coddling me.

You're gonna find me the help that I need. So you know, if I don't work well with you, you find me some of who I could work with, and then I'm usually set up for success that way. So that's a question. Why do I gotta pay somebody to do what I do? Very just what it is. It's just what it is. You don't see no problem with the I mean it's a problem. I don't know if it's a problem per se, but this it is what it is, Like I rather somebody else. You have to spend money to get somebody to tell you to do

exactly what I'm taking. Honest. It depends on the months, Like I have my waves. I have my waves, Like think about it after having Cats and Cairo on the back to back, right after getting that six week check up, and it's like devours on me, like yo, it's six weeks. You know, doctor said you could work out, you can work out, But mentally I wasn't even there yet to be back in the gym after six weeks of just

having a baby. I'm gonna be honest, after the six weeks working out was not what I was worried about. You already know that if it was a workout I was doing, I wasn't even worried about trying to go to the gym. I get it, I would get it, But I had to mentally prepare myself at that point to be like, you know what, okay, three months postpart because having a breastfeed and having to do all these

different things, you'll never understand that. So so for you to be like, oh the doctor said six weeks and now you've got to get back in the gym. It just it just did not align with what I needed and what I wanted at the time. So here's and here's just full transparency what my issue is. I hate to see my woman be unhappy. And also you feel a little bit of guilt, like, man, you know, she she gave me a child, and I feel bad because I can't take on that responsibility. And I want to

see you be happy. So part of me pushing you is me wanting to see you get back to being proud to be who you are. And it's hard for me to sit back and hear you complain about not, you know, not feeling like yourself. I can't just sit back and just bow out and let you do that. Part of me just wants to push you so that you can get back to well because I know you can do it. So it's it's a in a struggle for me as a husband and a father to be

like do I not say anything? Do I lie and say hey, baby, look good, knowing that you know you don't look good like I need to know how I could help as a husband, and I think other people need to know because a lot of dudes ask me all the time, like, Yo, my wife just gave birth. My baby mother just gave birth, and she's not happy with the way she looks. And she seemed like she's reaching out for me for help. But I don't know how to help because I felt that way. I felt helpless.

I spoke to don't know about it. I said, you know, I'm trying to help, but but she don't want my help, Like what what? How could you? How could I have helped? You know? I think you you did all of the right things, like your heart was in the right place. And what we do have and we always pride ourselves on, is transparency. So you're like, you know what I would say to Devout, I want to get back in front

of the camera and start doing work again. He's like, well, how else do you expect that to happen unless you get yourself back in order, Like if you, you know, work out and get yourself back. I think it's just with me sometimes it's a mental thing where I need to be in that space that I'm ready to do it, and I'm not always there. So that's when a relationship comes in handy, whether it's with your spouse or whether it's with your trainer or it's with you know, a

workout partner. What do you have like being able to then say, all right, I need this person to help me motivate, or have an accountability partner. You're my accountability partner partner a lot of the times, and sometimes that will cause some unrest within the household because in that particular moment in time, I just may not be in the mood for it. So it's just it's a matter of me hearing something I don't want to hear, but I know it's necessary. I get it's frustrated for you.

I understand that there's gonna be some frustration on both ends. I know you frustration. You just had a baby, you still breastfeeding, you have sleep deprivation. So I get it. There's gonna be frustration on your side. So I have to take something like having to rebuild your body all over again, like losing all core strength, you know. And I think the most frustrating time for me was having the two back to back babies, like no recovery. I was just starting to get on my feet after Cairo,

and then it's like bam, he's six months. I was only three months into working in I had lost a ton of weight and it's like, oh, it's just pregnant again. It's like, well, what the hell, I might as well just sit back and wait till this pregnancy is over. So I get it. I get it. Your heart's in the right place a lot of the times, but it's just a it's an internal thing. And after that's like too a lot of times, women or men, regardless of who it is, you cannot work out for somebody else.

You can't do it for anybody else. You have to do it for yourself. So when sometimes you look at me and you're just like, you know, I would love for you to get back to the way you used to be, and I would love for you to look this way and feel good about yourself, I'm like, I get it, thank you for the motivation, but I'm gonna have to do it myself. Like, this is an internal thing. It's a mean thing. It's not a youth thing. I get that, But do you do understand that at the

same time, it's a you thing. You put all that on me, And this is what my suitcase like here, And this is what I think women need to realize that men go through right. We love you, guys. It's hard for us to watch you be in pain and not be happy. So when you're constantly unloading on us the issues you have with yourself, it's not easy for us to just take that and just let it roll off our back and be like, hey, did she just

being her? We want to help, And I know a lot of women say you can't solve my problems, you can't save me. I gotta do it myself. I get that, but you're constantly unloading on me, So how am I supposed to get it? It can be I'm telling you, there's no pen It is annoying when you wake up in the morning and and the first thing your wife does, Beau, you do the every morning you wake up in the morning, you look in the mir and you go and I'm like, oh gosh, here it comes, here it comes, And She's

just like, that's right here, look at this. What am I supposed to do about this? I didn't realize that, but I literally do wake up because our dresser is situated right in front of the bed, So I literally wake up every morning and I'm like, or I'll wake up in the morning after We could go hard in the gym and be like, baby, see the difference. We no bullshit, this is dead ass. Could do five sit ups. Come out the shower, baby, Look at my two top amps.

Look at my two see my two times, and I'll be I'll be lying like I see you'll cover your too. Top apps always been there, they don't go nowhere. It's only the lower party of ads that have an issue. And that's what most women struggle with. I said, you have the issue I do. Don't bring that this way. Don't don't do the unload on me. Right, This is what I'm talking about. This is what I'm talking about, just making sure I don't have I don't have no

issue with your lower abs. Your lower abs are perfect. You're liar, the best lower as I ever seen in my life. Just told everything would be great. Paid. You just have to target just right there. That's just target right that little lower ab area. All I'm trying to do is I've only housed three children there. I'm trying to agree with you. There's still there's still a little bit of boxes, like do y'all see what I go through?

This is everything. I can't even agree with her. How these children can't even agree with her on what her body is going through without getting destroyed. And that's what's the funny. This is what happens with couples because women are frustrated this a lot of them could because a

lot of men asked me. A lot of men say to me all the time, like, Yo, my girl is always saying she don't got nothing to where, she don't like the way she looks, and she needs help, and when I try to help her, she gets upset at me for helping her. Sometimes I just tell dudes like, yo, just live with the fact that your wife is gonna unload on you or your girl's gonna unload on you. You can't fix it. But that's just the frustrating part.

And Dolo will tell you, I've sat in the car and watched you just be in my ear and just and just be like, you know what, I'm gonna take it. But then I'm gonna go to the gym and I'm gonna just sit in the office for twenty minutes and I'm gonna speak to Dolo about it before I get my workout in. But you need to understand two, and a lot of women need to understand too. Men go through that for nine months before you even have the baby, because bat came from you. That My back fat definitely

came from stress. All that fat. You unloaded stress game, and I got back fat. Now, guys got back fat. Now it's because I used to go to sleep. I used to eat oreoles and drink run before I went to sleep, just so that I could just kind of be calm a little bit. But you know what I want to do. What I want to bring Dolo in, I think because he has tons of clients, hundreds of mints, and I know he has some stories from couples because I've seen him train couples. If you trained single women

he's training. I think he has a very extensive repertoire people that he's trained and stuff like that. So I'm sure he's heard it. And you know what, It's funny gym sessions or workout training sessions become like therapy sessions. I'm sure people have unloaded a ton of stuff. We're gonna talk to Doyan Dolo rants. He is a writer and entrepreneur based right here in Brooklyn, New York, and as the owner and founder of Dola's Fitness and Prototype

Sports Performance Lab, Strength and conditioning program. He spends a ton of time thinking about fitness questions we've been talking about today, and his book Life Fitness Success, Why Not You tackles principles that we all can use in achieving not just our Instagram fit Spo goals, but our overall life goals. Dola, what's going on? Bro? What's up? What are you a little bit? He ran a mathon right? Yes he did. Oh my goodness, yes, New York City.

Can't remember. You can't really forget that date. I can't forget it New York City. I have to tell you all that that was such an emotional experience for everyone, Like I didn't realize how intense that would have been. Like it's like we knew you were training for it and everything, but then for a whole year and then of course, you know, a lot of your friends and family wanted to go out and to support you along

the way. So everyone had like a group chat where we were like, Okay, I'm going to be at this male marker and I'm gonna be at this male marker. So my mom, my sister, and I and and Cairo who's um doll those godson as well. We went to one of the mile markers to see him, and it was such an adrenaline and and like it was just so emotional to see him actually doing this, something that he set out to do, that you worked so hard

to do that. We were literally in tears, like, oh my god, we're so proud of you that you want to work out. So it didn't work, he was able to conquer that. Can you tell I set out to run it, honestly because doing what I do, I excuse seven, I can't do this, I can't do that. I can't do this. At the end of the day, I said, you know what, I'm gonna do something I don't like doing.

I'm gonna run forever, forever. So I trained, I trained, that trained, and I bust my ass and I said, if I could run a marathon, you could do a push up. Stop complaining stuff, you know what I mean. It's like, at the end of the day, most people, they kind of work out is for thirty minutes, one hour, maybe an hour and a half. Try running for four and a half hours, you know. You know. I tried to tell that took a dem on time for workout. She's like, she don't feel up to it. And I

was like, you know, don't in the whole marathon. You think you stop like it for four hours, but you know he kept running. You know what she said to me? Do I look like I give a ship with cane? So I have a question for you, don't know. We're in this age of technology, right fat diets um. Everybody's Instagram trainer, everywhere, everyone's an Instagram model, these bodies, yes, a lot of women in particular, some men asked me, the things you see on Instagram? Are they realistic goals?

It's promotion. A lot of times you got these companies they go they latch onto a influencer or someone that already looks good and they say, hey, we'll give you, We'll give you this, We'll give you this if you smile and hold our tea up right, And then they show you a couple of clips of them working out when the body ready looked like that. But the fact of the matter is when a million people like you and like what you do and say, oh, how many women are gonna buy that sex? You know what I mean?

It's just based off the perception of who may look like what someone else wants to look like, and automatically, they want everything around them. What what made you look like that? What can help me? I want to try it? At least try it. So if people, if a million people, least try a product that's bread. So do you think do you get a lot of people who say I want to look like this? Yes, I said, I say, don't show me any pictures of anyone else. You're yourself.

You ain't nobody else. At the end of the day, you are made the way you're made. You can't look like Susie Q or Jane Doe because at the end of the day you're you will look like yourself and you're gonna be struggling to look like this woman and that woman or that guy and this man. And that's never gonna happen. Do you get men who say I want to look like this too? Yes? How many of them say they want to look like me? None? Yet? Then maybe shots And here's a funny thing. I can't

shoot back. You can't. I can't. I got to take that. It's funny though, because usually man, you figure you know, because if ego may not say, you know, do I want to look like this guy or that guy? So how do you break down those ego walls for people who feel like, you know what, I'm going to come in here and do X y Z, But no, this is what I'm gonna have you do. UM. When when that happens, I always say, you reached out because you need help. If you didn't need help, you'd just be

winning it by yourself. So if you need help, take the help and understand what we're trying to do as a team and build together. Because I mean, it's most most of the time I have probably women clients. Women don't have egos. They want just like you said, I want to get this done. I want to get help. I need help. Men don't feel that way. Do those women listen to their significant others. No, they listen to me,

So that's not so. So No, this is important to talk about because the same same we talked about, this same thing, I feel like, just don't listen to me. It's just it's it's come from that professional aspect that if if a husband of boyfriend says it to their spouse, it'll seem like nitpicking. It'll seem like you're just poking out of poking out of poken at. But when they listen to someone that has kind of no emotional ties.

It's the truth, you know what I mean. So it's okay, listens to me say it's like if the vows says it, it's like always trying to mess with me. That's that's the mindset he's gonna happen. But you know what happens with with a lot of men though right no one wants to send their woman into a gym to take advice from a dude that's ripped up, big strong. They have that intimate hour together. It's intimidating for a lot of men, as much as they don't want to admit it.

It's intimidating for men to say, my girlfriend, my wife, the mother of my child goes to a trainer. It's it's intimidating. And I've had that conversation many times. You know what I say. In the first meeting, I say, bring your boyfriend the husband in here. Let's tell me. I don't mind that because at the end of the day, I'm helping you, bro, I'm taking a young girl up, I'm getting her ready for you to kins of whatever

you want to do. But I'm helping you. And that's so once you put that out there to them and they start understanding it and it's like, no one's no one's pushing up on your girl. Man. It's like, at the end of the day, you're paying for it, So keep paying, bro and do is about his money, but there is about is about his money. So he will not mixing business with pleasure because this is this is a very true true story. When Dolo, when I first started my first retired Dolo got out of college. We

decided to we want to partner together. We were both in Gershman Park in Brooklyn, training people in the park, and at this point it wasn't about making money, It's about building the name. Dolo was training people for ten dollars. I was paying for my guys to go to the gym, but we were training for free pretty much because our

time was worth much more than that. When we decided we were going to work together, the one thing Dolo and I and my brother Brian all said was, yo, we will not cross the line with any clients, because if you cross that line with clients, that becomes who you are. Don't send you know, don't send your child to him because he sleeps with the moms. Don't send your girl to him because he sleeps with people's girls.

We've always said that, you know, We've always said and and Dolo was a single guy and we're going to the gym, you see a woman, nice body, and our friends will be like your dough boy. I know he'd be like, yo, no, I don't do that. And there's a lot of a lot of trainers I know who have the same type of mantra because this is their business,

this is their livelihood. And I think it's important for men to know that, you know, there are trainers out there, and there are people are here who are really about their business and just not looking for a match, you know, just a quick match so they can hit it. So I think it's a point for men to know you can trust some guys, you know, had that interview, find out what they're about. And I'm talking about because that

that kills your business. And this with a business, like a personal business like that, everything is based on referrals. So if I deal with one girl and then things happen, she's not referring me because now essentially she's gonna think going to do the same thing with her friend, So why would she put me on her friend? So now that one person probably killed probably thousands of dollars in the future off that referral smart we don't touch that.

So when it comes to the getting in the gym with somebody, they first come to you, what's the process like for them? Do you set some sort of gold meal plan? Like how do you how do your packages and things work? Um, you know, not for herself per se, but we just want to know, like, what's the process like if someone has a goal to reach Because some people don't know anything about person, people come in, people have all types of goals, you know what I mean.

It's like people come in on March first and said it was thirty pounds by March fifteen. I say, no, we can't do that, you know what I mean. But you know what I mean, They'll come up with lofty goals. If I want to lose a hundred pounds in this amount of times, I said the first thing, I say, what are you doing personally to achieve any of that? And they say nothing. Okay, So you want to lose that much weight, you have to be doing at least something some kind of goal setting. How do we get

to a hundred pounds? I want to lose five pounds this week. I don't lose ten pounds this week. You can't get to that big goal without setting small goals. So we'll discuss those type of goals. Moving along. UM, As a client comes in, we'll go through an assessment. I'll assess their body, you know, all the all the particulars, weight measurements, UM, everything like that for this right. Yeah. I have degrees in sports, nutrition, fitness management, and kinesiology.

That's another thing. Everybody who calls themselves a trainer, they're going and taking a twenty minute tests of course two d No. I used to the busy and took all these classes and all these internships, and essentially I didn't want to be a trainer, you know what I mean. I I should be in some like orthopedic clinic with

a white smock, but that is boring to me. I came out of school and I said, why do I want to work in a facility where people are coming to me towards after their hurt or towards the back end of their existence. That ship is depressed as hell. So I said, how can I use my knowledge to help people so they don't have to be in that position? Let me just, Yeah, I said, let me just. I'm gonna be in a gym anyway. I get to wear shorts and sweats every day, sneakers, sandals, be comfortable, and

it's it's a helping thing. I don't want to be the last resort to pick people off the floor because they have issues after the fact. It's funny you bring that up because this literally just triggered a small story in me. Um with Dolo, super personal story. UM, I don't know how many people know, but my mom suffered from a heart attack. Um. This was four years ago. Um, pretty fit woman. She's been working out with Dola for

a while. You know, doesn't eat badly. I would say part of it who she wasn't eating maybe maybe once again that she wasn't eating well. A lot of stress, like a very high stress job as a director of nursing at a nursing home. And Dola was working out with my mom one morning and she didn't feel so well. Um, can you recall, like what it happens in that circumstance.

I mean it was she usually comes in bubbly every you know, every time, well she comes in she said, all right, let me get on an elliptical, let me loosen up. This time she didn't get loose, and it was noticeable. We couldn't really do much. And I've seen it. I've seen her eyes looking glaze like I said, We're just gonna sit down waiting for a little bit to let her catch her breath. UM. Took a UM, put out fingers on the pulse. Took a pulse real quick.

It wasn't crazy, it wasn't rapid, you know what I mean. That's why these these things like strokes in the heart, attacks and blood pressure, these are silent killers that we may never know, you know, I mean, these things could happen to anybody at any age, but you could obviously tell that something was wrong because within that things are clogged inside. You can't see inside the body. So with that, we just sat down. I monitored her, make sure she was all right. Said she was good. We worked that

she's good. We stayed a whole extra half an hour. Seemed fine. Soon as she got home, same thing. Tristan Tristan and Tristan Tristan's working the nurse and feel as well. So he's seen the same signs I've seen. Went to the hospital after that, Remember that morning, you know you had called me. Dollo called me and said, YO, check on miss j because she didn't look good. And my mom called me and she said I didn't feel so hot.

You know, I threw up after the workout. So at first I was just like, oh, Dolo trains, you're really hard, and she's like, no, I actually couldn't get through the workout. And she said I'm actually gonna take the day. And my mother never takes a day from work, so when she said she was taking a day, I was like, oh, something's not right. It's all was more raised Jamaica, so he knows um but sank god is you know, It's

amazing how things work out. My brother just happened to be home for work that day and saw my mom and says she didn't look good. And of course, being the nurse you know, who never wants to diagnose themselves, she's like, I'll be fine, I'll take a nap. She went to take a nap, and my brother was like, no, Mom, I think we should go to the e er. Had my brother not done that, and had Dolo not made the phone calls to us to check on her, the doctor literally said my mother would have gone to bed

and not woken up percentage she had to. Then she was clogged, like in different arteries. One was two of them were clogged. She had to end up getting sense put in like what an emotional situation that was and what triggered that was her exercising and working out with Dolo. He was the first person to see that something was wrong. So when you talk about people not being UM certified or not being equipped to train or ware of signs like,

that's super super importantly. And this brings us to a bigger topic which I wanted to discuss with you today is the Black community, what we eat, how we work, and not taking care of ourselves and saying that things run in the family or things are generational, and are those things really The first thing is your mom had a woman she hired forty two just recently, was sitting at work at her desk and died at her desk. Two children. Correct, And this happens too often. We've seen

it at Prototype. We have a lot of young kids who are parents in their thirties and forties, running to catch the bus, running to get on the train. Sat we fiel while I'm gonna go home go to take a nap and don't wake up. And this is why when Dolo spoke to me about why he wanted to do fitness, I feel like we had to have Dolan one to show because Dolo said it, it's all about preventative. He doesn't want to get people after the fact. And in our community, we don't take care of ourselves. We

don't go to the doctor. And what people don't understand is that of the world's diseases can be killed with water. Playing something and can you talk about some of the biggest misconceptions about fitness that people are worried about and how some of the things you do can help people stay healthy. The biggest world, the biggest thing about just fitness, period is when people feel People feel like I'm only gonna work out one day. How does that help? Well?

That one day returns into two days. The hardest part of doing anything fit is starting. So once you start, you trigger that snowball effect to keep going. Working out, even thirty minutes a day of just moderate exercise, just break a sweat, you're increasing your heart I mean, increasing your lifespan by at least seven years men and women. Simple things like even walking taking the stairs instead of the escalators. Little things like cutting back on, cutting back

on the extra sugars. Different things like that. Um, oh gosh, I eat so much sugar. You know we just started do got me me on the diet diet right now, I'm gonna have to cut sugar on the nine week diet. He got a ship, right, man. Do you see when I see a lot of people who have health issues when they come to you. Yes, young people, young not not much young people. Asthma. I want to say, asthma is the biggest thing with younger people because and a lot of them they're not super out of shape. It's

it's internal. They just they think they're slim or they're not on the cusp of being overweight or obese, so they think they're fine. But then they end up. I don't had to run up the stairs and I couldn't breathe. Yeah, you already are probably clogging up. You need to work out, you needs What do you eat today? I had um, bacon, egged cheese and home fries. Okay, don't do that again. Wore to work out before the first day of working out, So it comes down to a first off a dieting thing,

not even diet, but a better eating plan life. That's an amazing thing. People feel like if they're not overweight, they're health exactly, and that's what you're saying. Those are the people that don't go to the doctor because they feel like they're fine. Your father, my father is not in shape. My father's shape. He does, you know, he goes to the doctor and the doctor will get blood work done and the doctor said, you're okay, and my father see, I'm good, broke, I got blood work done.

When my father knows he should move. We talked about a the time my father had a scare as well where his his uh I think it was his cholesterol was very high and he was having issues with his left arm issues and left arms with blood pressure was high, and me, being the person I am, was like, yeo, we're going to the hospital after especially with your mom. I didn't want to wait. But it's just it kills

me that we don't take care of ourselves. And fitness has become this aesthetic thing where I just want to get in shape to take pictures on Instagram. We're realistically, fitness should be more about health. It's about wellness. I think that's who where surgeries come into play. When women are going to get you know, these different surgeries done or whatever, and there's no shade to them doing surgery.

That's what's foultry boat. That's great, but also to thinking about heart health, like you're not going to get the benefits of that by just aesthetically fixing your body on the outside, you know. And I look at the different things that people say, you know, when you go to the doctor's office and you have to check off your history, so it's like who in your family has diabetes and high cholesterol and heart disease, and that's that. And I

noticed I'm checking off a whole lot of boxes. And yeah, and we've been thinking about deval and I at least how within our household we can now change that, you guys, are you guys change that we have hereditary and go down family lines. But then it's that one generation that says, you know what, I'm going to create the new lifestyle for my kids and my kids kids. Absolutely, if you guys, you know anyone keeps that going like, uh, my my

mom had have blood pressure. Oh well no, which is sometimes too like my family, if I don't want the kids to eat a certain thing or you know, not to do certain things with eating. They look at me like, well you didn't, you were fine, and I'm like, yeah, that's the problem though, the problem is that just because it worked for the generations before, it clearly didn't work so well because it didn't work well because everyone's having

heart issues. So if I said I don't want my children to eat this, or I don't want them having sugar, I don't want them eating fast food. There's a reason why. Because we're trying to change the narrative now when it comes to fitness and it comes to health, like we should be the generation to be able to change that. So I think that's by being equipped with the knowledge to be able to do it, learning about different things. There's so many different food sources now that we're learning,

you know, have all sorts of things contaminating it. So it's really working on that. We we are the generation and change. But it's it's a catch twenty two. It's like we'll have so many new vegan stores open up, we have so many new healthy stores open up, and you have the calorie council and everything, but then you'll have the calorie council McDonald's board, and we can see it's as calories. We're still gonna buy that triple quarter

pound that would actually making an extra max sauce. I'm not gonna Sometimes I just drop about McDonald's and I'm like, damn, that big mac look good and I'm like, what calories? I'm gonna do a hundred? I do that. But here's my thing though, with all of these fad diets, right, what do you tell people? How do you how do you maintain a healthy lifestyle with they're telling the throwing

a keto, they're throwing veganism, Pscterian flexitarian. Uh, Like, there's so many because every other week, every other week, it's like I want to try something, you want to try something new. You know. I will answer that question first, and then when that comes to that, it starts with portion control. Because you can't cold turkey get someone off

the things they love. You know what I mean. If you're a Caribbean family and you are used to curreyk chicken and rice and peas, and I'm not gonna tell you don't eat it, all right, the first step is to limit it, break your portions down little by little, so now you have your So you got your curreyk chicken and your rice, and piece this down the third all right, you take that full portion, you break that

down a half. So whatever you make or whatever your mom makes something, all right, you can start with that within the first week two weeks. You have to wean yourself off like like any addiction. You know what I mean, with yourself, because food is an addiction. So you break that down a half, a little by little. Right now, breaking in my half, you're um constricting your stomach. Your stomach starts to get smaller. You eat smaller meals throughout

the day from that's from those small portions now. So now as you start to get used to the small portions, now you substitute, get a better rice in there, get a better carbohydrate source in there. So now I'm eating. It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle change. You have to try to get used to it, one system consistent. Once you get used to it, it becomes nothing becomes easy. This is to be clear too, because you are not

talking about doing the key though. Um, I have a show that I'm doing and I want to get trim. So when you see some of these diets. It's for a purpose. It's like a woman wanted to do a photo shoot, a man want to do a photo shoot. You want to lean out for that. Diets are made for a short amount of time, for short term goals. It's not for lifestyle. So like, you can't just do the keyto diet for your whole life. No, you'll die,

you die, you will fall apart, You'll die. Because I was saying that to Kay, I said, we're looking at this last night, right, and she was like, this is having a sugar with jaw. He's like, even make sense. And I saw a bacon cheese burger with pepperoni on a lettuce bread, and I said, I can just eat that, but I can't eat the break exactly. This is the

best diet ever. And then I started to think about it, like that much cholesterol and sodium would kill me over time if that became my primary diet, right, especially trying to give a baking in the house. If I was like, well, now we keep baking again. I was trying to give up bacon altogether, but now that'sunds like, oh, I keep baking again bacon. And it's hard in a household sometimes too because I don't want to necessarily do this diet where I'm eating all this met because I was trying

to get away from meat. So it was like within the house, no lord, here he go, don't you get back to get back to your story right, Well, the limited amounts of meat that I have been eating, Okay, it's hard sometimes within the house. And then I have my children, do you know what I mean, who all eat different things. So sometimes that in itself is just stressful. So I understand people who have the challenge sometimes of trying to make sure within a household at least that

everybody's taken care of and what ever it is. But like you said, it's a short term term. It's because I mean, even with stuff like that, it's it takes a drastic amount of carbohydrates out your diet that you actually need, you needed for your consistent energy because that's what actually keeps you moving throughout the day. So when you take all these carbohydrates, you gotta you gotta eat about five teen percent per day. Everything else is fat

and protein, you know what I mean. So when you take those carbs out your your your body is using that fat to kind of fuel you. But it's essentially that's good for a certain amount of time because you're burning all that fat. So you end up losing so much weight because you're not putting these these are these are carbohydrates in your body, all the starchy carbs, your pasta, your potato, your bread, and things like that. So it works for a month you want to lose weight, I'm

telling you it'll work. It'll work thirty sixty days, great, But then you do that for a year, you're going to be in the hospital bed. So the question is in that thirty sixty days, am I gonna lose my boot because I'm not trying to lose the boy because he's gonna be in the gym working. Okay, So if I'm simultaneously, you know, lifting weights, I'm talking to do

don't look this way like you. As long as I'm lifting my weights, doing my squats like I've been getting low, then I don't have to worry about losing my booty meat. You keep you keep that consistent, keep the consistent workouts, and do certain modifications um as in like you know, um increasing the weight so you're actually building instead of losing all that whatever fat you got around your waistline and all that that starts to go right and then

the booty. Because I'm speaking from a woman's perspective, but so many times just having conversations with women, they'll be like, I like, I want to keep my sighs, I want to keep my but I just want to lose my stomach. I think I hear that so much whenever. Yeah, I just want to lose my stomach. Here that you say that, you say that, do you not say that? Do? Like I said, I'm trying to. I'm just trying if people say that, like, what's the best way to do that?

Because Devo has told me, and I'll give you your props here. You need to run, you need to train, can act that. You need to do sprints, high intensity things, jumps, explosive movements. That way you can in the bottom. Definitely, girls who want to just lose the stomach. Along with diet, what else should it be doing? Well? Diet is number one because as any one of us men are female. When we eat food and all our food gets stored. Men we get in the front, we get the beer belly.

Women you get him in the side, you get the little muffin tops. All right, so diet is number one. So with that being said, same thing like the bell said, it goes from high intensity to workouts. Short bursts of workouts, not like running and jogging for an hour forty five minutes, quick quick spurts of five minutes, seven minutes boom, take a quick arrest five seven minutes, take a quick arrest like short sprints like quick quick um hit workers, high

intensity interfo training, um, things like that. That's gonna help you burn all the fat. And with that you focus on sims um specific workouts for your core, not even sit ups and crunches, core work like you know what I mean, like kettle bell swings or there's a million I could say, right, um, but core workouts that's going to get that stomach down in stomach flat keep and oh it's important for people to know too. Dolo and myself have both trained women through pregnancies. It is important.

And let me be and me be clear. If you haven't been working out, you do not choose to start working out after you get pregnant. This is only two women who've been working out and then are pregnant. And I'll give you a perfect example. Serena Williams I was, of course, of course he was getting I was starting with Serena and I was going to go up a level to you. I didn't want to go straight to you because I had to give them a realistic go they can achieve first, and then you You see what

I'm saying. It you love it, I love it too, baby. If you like it, I love it. So. Serena Williams was an elite athlete. Most people feel like once you get pregnant, you gotta stop moving to protect the baby. She was still competing in live events while pregnant. I didn't know she was pregnant. The baby came out perfectly fine. It's the same thing for women who work out. Just because you get pregnant. You don't have to stop listen to your physician. If the baby is good, you continue

with your workouts as normal. We've trained plenty of women who have gone through pregnancy. It's also helped with delivery. It has because Cadine has trained through her pregnancy. She's trained with DOLO, she's trained with myself when she felled up through it, and the deliveries have been great, and it's helped for speedy. It's helped to kind of you know, bounce back when she was ready to start. So continue

to train while you're pregnant, absolutely, and that's so important. Yeah, as long as you're and the whole eating for two things like that. That didn't really affect man or you were joking about it in the beginning, but I mean I was eating normally and I was still active, and it just helped me feel better in general, because at that point when you're pregnant, especially towards the end, you feel a key everywhere. It's like nothing feels good. But it actually felt better for me to be working out

within moderation and you modify things and stuff. Um, but yeah, that's a good point. Does The release is good endorphins because a lot of time throughout that nine months, you'll you'll feel up and down about this and that I feel like I'm getting this. I'm getting that you need to work. You need something that's going to take care of you personally, and working out always makes you feel better,

all right, dello. So tell me if I was to take away three things from this about fitness, about you know, inspiration that we find with technology, nutrition, dieting, lifestyle changes. What are like three things that you would say, are the main things people can take away from this if they're looking to change their lifestyle. Three things. The number one thing. Start a lot of people that are the hardest part to sit there. You contemplate, you're scrolling through Instagram,

you're looking on TV. You're wondering where to start. Get up, that's where you start playing and simple, get up and move. That's plain and simple. That's the number thing. Get up. Second, don't follow what everyone else is doing. Work on your own craft. Lick yourself in the mirror, give yourself that specific goal. I need to work on this. I need to build this much, I need to lose this way, I need to do this from my health. I want

to run around and play with my kids. These things what matters the most to you find that, put that importance to it, and then start that process from their third thing as that being the most important thing. Don't follow the quick fix fat diets. The quick fixed fat diets will only end you up gaining more weight than

you lost over time. That's what That's what happens. Yes, yes, So when someone is trying to someone says, hey, I'm gonna do this diet and they do it for a quick amount of time and then they kind of fall off. Everything falls to the wayside. It does. It's not just a diet, it's also the whole fitness and workout program. Because now the dice over, they feel like, oh I lovest this, this this, I'm gonna go to Miami live

my best life. They stop everything. So it's about that lifestyle change, about the substitution of foods and the limiting exact insistency, limiting a portion sizes. So it's all about that one day, one day together. Yeah, definitely, we're running out of time. We really appreciate you. But before we leave, we gotta tell people would find you. Brother. I gotta tell people would find you man. But you can hit

me on Instagram. I met Dolos Fitness s. Definitely, we're gonna take a quick break and get into some ads, but we'll be right back helping to answer some of these listener letters. This for the record, there it is a win for the ages. Tiger Woods is one of our most inspiring sports icons. In his story, it comes with many chapters. I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behavior, but here it is the return to glory. This is all American, a new series from Stitcher hosted

by me Jordan Bell. You realized Tiger Wis doesn't know who he is in the history of Gaul no question in my mind. And this season, with the help of journalist Albert Chen, we're asking what if the story of Tiger Woods that the media has been telling, what if it's been completely wrong? All American Tiger is out now listen and Stitcher, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app. I love Dolo, that's my guy. We've known each other since we were teenagers, played football against each other, grew

up in Canarsi together. So it's just dope to see what he's been able to do himself, which I don't know about Dolo. Dolo was bad kid growing up. He's bad kids. But he's gone now he's not here to defend himself now. That's why I said it when he left. That's my boy. I love him and and I appreciate him for coming through. So No, absolutely doing big things and now to listen to others shows. Absolutely do we say that every show. This is our favorite part of

the show. Think it is? It is? It really is, And it looks like the first question is for me, Yes, so it's as good. How did you get back after all your babies? First time mom here and struggling to find myself after baby well girl six, let me tell you there's nothing easy about getting back after a baby. I will say that, um, and since your first time mom, I think it's a little unique in that after my second and third baby, I kind of knew what to

expect with my body. Though each pregnancy is different, each labor and delivery is different, you kind of realize what you can and can't do within a certain time frame after having these kids. But as a first time mom, especially with Jackson, we spoke about earlier devot. I think in the story time how it was after I had Jackson and I wasn't happy with my body and the way I looked because this is something so new to you, Like you're used to your body looking a certain kind

of way. Then you grow an entire human being for nine months, and then you expect yourself to just snap back after a couple of weeks, Like it's just not realistic.

And as the first time mom, I feel like you should really be spending your time investing in and and and loving up on that baby, Like those are the best parts and it goes so fast that I would tell any first time mom try not to stress it as much, because you really should be taking that time to connect with your baby and bond and enjoy everything that is motherhood, especially if you're breastfeeding. That's a whole another you know entity in itself that your body is

now providing nutrients for a child. So my advice would be to enjoy the baby as much as you can, and then if you feel like it, and if your your body is telling you that you need to work out, maybe because you used to work out before, or if you're just not happy with the way you look like dolo set get up and start so start doing something, whether it's taking the baby for walks, you know, having your partners doing little exercises with you, starting with you know,

once you of course getting clearance from your doctor, starting with like, you know, little things like jumping Jack's or what are some exercises that we did in the beginning, just to kind of get my body moving again. Allow me just to interject a little bit, not that you know, of course it wasn't directed to me because I've never had kids, but I do think it's important for women

who have children. Even hearing you say it today, you said, to make sure you you love on your baby, make sure that you don't forget yourself while in the process. I watched Codeine forget herself and then she goes back and look at pictures now and say, devote, how did you let me get like this? And that was one thing I learned that I always, as as her spouse and as her mate, had to remind her even through

the pregnancy, to take care of herself. And hopefully, you know, hopefully you're with someone who's supportive, but hopefully that guy will be there to be like, listen, I know that you love the baby. I know that this and that. Give me the child, Give the child to your mother, my mother. You go focus on you for a little bit. Take these two hours out of the day to just

focus on you. The baby will be fine. I know all mothers feel like nobody can take care of their baby as good as them, and I see the K was the same way. But that's the quickest way to lose yourself. And I watched K go through it, and even the second and the third time she felt a

little bit of postpartum depression. Afterwards. I didn't even realize she was going through it until a year later because she was so focused on the baby and focus on this, because those moments of mommy guilt, like this is a thing, it's an actual thing. And I learned this that to speak into a couple of moms in the recent times.

It's like a mom guilt thing that you feel like if you take time away from your child, you take time away from your household, or your husband, or your family, or your a significant other, that you feel this guilt like how dare me take time for myself? And that's partner so necessary because you cannot continue to give and poor and give and poor when you have nothing left. That's why you have a partner. That's why people don't

have a partner. What about women who are doing this on their own too, well, that's that's a unique situation. And even if you don't have to have a partner, you should have a village or I hope you have a village to help you through the process. You know, I'm pretty sure even the women who choose to do this on their own have people who you know, they sat down with and say, hey, I'm going to help

I'm gonna need help. No one can have a baby by themselves, like there's a reason why humans are not a sexual because you need a partner to help in the process. And even if you choose to go a different route than having a spouse to be married, you still have a village which is still intern your partner. You know, your mom can be your partner, your sister can be a partner, your best friends can be your partners.

Rely on your partners as much as possible, because that's the village is going to help you raise the child. And I think that's important. Yeah. Yeah, after a while too, you get to especially once the second and third child roll around. Child, you'll be ready for anybody who has open arms that you know will love on your baby for a little bit while you get you know, an hour or two to yourself to really work on you. So,

you know, I say take your time. I know there's a societal pressure for the snap back, and you'll have people make snide comments like, oh, you you had that baby, how that baby is a year, that baby is two, you still got baby fat. You really got to tune on people out and tell them go to hell, tell them how to get there and then you just really focus on yourself. So um, so yeah, congrats to your first time mommy is out there. It's an amazing, amazing,

amazing thing. Um, you know, love up on those babies, spend some time, but but don't forget yourself. I know and know it's hard. And hopefully if if your significant other is there with you, man, woman, your family, they need to know too that you're going to go through this process and it's going to be difficult. Like I speak to some men and how do I do with my wife going through this? She's gonna go through it.

It's part of the process. You're never It's very rare you find a woman who is so so strong and mentally mentally prepared to have a baby that they can just take it all and stride and not give you a little bit of backlash because you know, you don't have to deal with those things that they go through. So if you have a partner with you, who's there riding with you, just let them know this is part of the process and you're gonna get this. And the

hormones are very real postpartum. The Diressian depression is very real, and you can have that up to a couple of years after you have a baby. It manifests itself in different ways, but it's the key to it is also I mean in in turn, not looking at just your family, but also to your health care professionals. So I know my midwife was very instrumental in helping me get through that. UM. You know, whether it's your doctor or your duela, whoever it is, UM, reach out and ask for help. Asking

for help is really key. Yes, So let's get down to the second question. This is a very simple question, and it's for either one of us. How do you conquer your fears? This, this one for me is very simple. Head on. You know that I've always been like that. My mom told me that when I was in kindergarten, the first time I had to get on the bus to go to school by myself, she remembers, and I remember the day, what were you like, four or five?

I was five turn five, And I remember the day we were in front of fifty three or five Avenue d Brooklyn, New York. The bus pulls up Mr Augusty's bus, and this is the first time I'm getting on the bus, Like my parents weren't dropping me to school. Because I used to go to Little Rats and they used to take me, and I remember my my father and my mother said hey, y'all, get on the bus. I remember being scared and just walking up to the bus and saying,

de Val, don't look back because you're gonna cry. Just get on the bus. I remember that vividly, and in my mom to this day recalls the fact that I never looked back and she cried because I just got on the bus and I didn't look back. But that's always been my makeup, to just see see something and be like, you know what, that scares me. If I don't face it, it's gonna always scare me. I remember being seven being afraid of the dark, and we just moved to our house in the basement, and I was nine.

A matter of fact, now even said nine, just moved the house, first time having the basement ever, and it's dark down there, the washing machine is going the boilers, and I remembering I gotta go downstairs to turn the light on. You know what I did. I just walked down there in turn the light on, and then once I got through it, you realize that there's nothing to be afraid of. You gotta just jump right in. Wow.

So it's like, for I think about your days when you play like football, for example, when you play in the NFL and you were in the you know, end zone about to catch a punt or kick return or whatever. It was fair and nerves. Are they like the same how you deal with it the same way? Yeah? Well, I mean there's there's different types. Because there's fear where you you know, you fear that, there's you know pain

is coming, or you fear something's gonna happening detrimental. And there's there's nerves where Okay, if I dropped this point, I could get cut. You know what I'm saying. If I make a mistake, That to me isn't fear. That's just that's nerves. That's you know a little bit worried. You have some anxiety. Um. For me, fear is something very different. Fear is if I catch this point and

I get smacked, I could get hurt. There comes a point in your life where you have to choose if you're gonna let fear control you, where you're going to control your fears, and then controlling your fears, you understand what the fear is and how to beat it. And you face it. So rather than run from the fear, which most people do, most people use the Ostrich technique. They put their head in the dirt and they say, I don't see the fear. There's no fear there. I

don't see it. I don't see people. Most people deal with fear that way. But remember you, you can't grow until you're uncomfortable. The only way you can grow through through discomfort. We've been speaking about that recently a lot, about thinking about making changes in our lives together as individuals. And it's a couple and it's a family. How you need to put yourselves in these uncomfortable situations. And it's not a it's not a metaphor, it's a physical attribute.

Your muscles can't grow unless you make them uncomfortable. There's discomfort, you break them down. Diamonds cannot become diamonds unless it's cold, dark, and there's immense amounts of pressure. So you need discomfort in order to grow. So when I see fear, I find a way to beat it and I attack it. Wow. I like how you tie that into like breaking down the monso, because if you talk about fitness today, off the top, the impressive I think for me with my fears,

it depends on how tangible the fear is. Like, you know, you have different types of fear. There's a fear of death, for example. That's something you can't control per se, you know, but it's still a fear. Do you let that control you? Do you not do things because of fear? That's the thing? And no, I would say, I don't. Maybe I do have a better handle on my fears. And I think you don't even realize that you have a better You couldn't be where you are now without handling your fears.

You couldn't. You don't even realize, which is a good thing. It's a good thing. If you start to recognize all your fears and say, oh, I was scared of that. I was scared of that, that's when you start to acknowledge that the fear is there, Like my fear of heights. But I go ahead and book at AIRB and be on the fifty second floor of a building that's facing exactly but because the view is cute, you know, it's

a cute view. You know, I can get up whatever, and I can do it, and you know, I can do a little Instagram story and people be like, oh, shoot, that's a nice view. I'm on the balcony, like, that's why you're able to face your fears because you want to be cute. Hey, how do you conquer your fear trying to be trying to be cute? Trying to be cute?

That's dope. Though I guess I thought I was more of the ostrich, but maybe I'm not because even the top difficult conversations that we even have, sometimes I fear what you're gonna say, and not in a bad way, but it's just a fair of the unknown of how you will react to it, and then we end up facing it head on. Where As in the past I used to be the ostrich and not want to have confrontations. Now you you are not afraid of competition, especially with me.

Look at how much we've grown. Absolutely because that man who acts listener letter right here, I wish I could shout you out and had a little therapy session up in here today. All right, So our third listener letter and final for today is what's your opinion on someone who is married or in a relationship being on a dating app not to find someone to date, but for

conversation purposes and learning different perspectives from different individuals. I feel like the person who framed this question framed because they wanted us to agree with them. They're like, yeah, I only had this dating nepp because I'm trying to learn from people and get different perspectives from different individuals.

But clearly, whoever you're dating and doesn't agree with this, I don't even think to mean to me, to me perfectly honest, somebody got in trouble being on the dating net clearly, and they want some validation as if they're doing right, and you want validation here and I'm not gonna give it to you. This is how I feel

about this. You can get opinions from other people simply by going on Facebook and having old school conversations with people, going to the bar, meaning going to the bar, going to the coffee out and put your phone down for a two point five seconds and starting a conversation like no one does that anymore. That allow me to play Devil's advocate for a second, not saying that it's okay to go on a dating app. But say you're married and you go to the bar and start speaking to people,

you will get looked at crazy. If you're talking to someone of the opposite sex and you're married, just having random conversation. Though, Think about how many times people have been talking and it looks funny. Think about why, why why are they talking here? Such a scenario like, for example, you're at the bar, just happen to be having a drink. You're waiting for your homeboard to come meet you at the bar, there's a young lady sitting next to you.

She's having a drink, You're having a drink, and then you guys are having conversation. You're saying that looks suspicious or anything can be taking. That's all it takes to somebody to take a quick photo of that and be like, oh, in this moment, that a woman exactly. That's why. That's why you can't necesarily just go out and start talking to people. You know. It also depends on how comfortable you and your partner are. But social media is that's what social media is for. You don't really need a

dating app. You can on Facebook and post if you want someone's opinion, go on Facebook, post a question and watch how many people respond to comments and stuff like that. You know that's true. I don't know why it has to be. I don't know why it has to be whoever posed this question. I think we're trying to get some validation here, but I'm not gonna give it to you today. That does seem a little suspect, you know, to get perspectives, and I like to play devil's advocate,

but it's hard for meating, like why are dating it? Right? It could totally be something else. They could totally be something else. So yeah, go to the coffee shop, strick of conversation. Maybe not with one individual, but start a conversation with a couple of people nearby if they're not working. You know what I mean, and also understands for that,

understand this. If you and your spouse, what significant other, are comfortable in your relationship and they're at the bar talking to someone else, it's not gonna be a big deal. Because I tell you right now, it don't matter how many pictures you take of me at a bar speaking to someone. And this has happened before, Yes, this is happening for that I was I was filming. I was

filming make up to break up. Yes, And the scene was taken in the bar and it was me and my co star and We're literally sitting at the bar going over our lines as we're waiting for the weather to change outside, and a woman comes up to me and says, that don't look like codein what she gave you, all three of those boys. And I was just like, first and foremost, it's very rude for you to automatically assume that you know what I'm saying. What if I was at a business meeting, you know what I'm saying.

That that did show me that sometimes even in your innocence, people can take it and twisted however which way they want. You know what I'm saying. And so I also knew. I laughed with the woman first of all, because I thought it was funny. I laughed because I knew that you you know, you could have called Canine right now. She would have been like, it's right. But I do appreciate, you know, those people who you know, stand with your soldiers. Even I posted I posted one of my home girls

on my Instagram the other day. I was in Atlanta and I posted on my Instagram and that the most comments was, but where it's Codeine. I'm like, Dad, I'm like, yo, this is one of the women that I'm working with the As love y'all like I do, I do, you always at my back. If you want to be featured as one of our listener letters, be shure to email us at dead As Advice at gmail dot com. That's d E A D A S S A D V I C E at gmail dot com. We'd love to hear from you and give our two cents. Tell me

what your moment of truth is today, babe? What what do you take away from this loaded conversation about body immagiction, nutrition and fitness and everything Dolo spoke about. Well, this is the biggest thing because we spoke about it in terms of relationship. For us, my moment of truth came when Dolo explained that she he has men who come to him with their significant other and that women don't want to listen to anything they're saying, but they'll listen

to everything Dolo. My moment of truth was hot. So it was not just Cadine. It's not just my girlfriend, it's not just my wife. There is an issue with listening to your significant other nitpick about your body when you're already a little bit insecure about it. It's easier to listen to a professional so I can't get so defensive or insecure on myself that you don't want to listen to me, you rather listen to someone else. That

was my moment of truth. It's okay for your significant other to listen to a professional about themselves when they don't want to listen to you, because that used to bother me. I used to say to you all the time, why don't you just want to listen to me? Listen to him? Explain it? That way taught me. So you're gonna star, you gonna leave me alone? Now you know I've been left you alone, son, not since like yesterday. Son, Come on, like yesterday. You were like, so I'm going

to the gym. Are you coming now? That was your way of saying, OK, you need to work out today because you haven't worked out in a week now. In my defense, the day before that, I just went to the gym and didn't say nothing to you, and you said to me, if you go into the gym to me, he was going into the gym, So make up your mind. It depends on that's that's also another moment of truth. You don't get to you. I need, I need. You don't know what she wants all right, So I just

gotta be ready. I gotta I gotta be ready, like jumping a rope for you. It's MP's got to be ready, all right. You on your point one and point two. You know it's funny because that leads me to my moment of truth. And my moment of truth is anybody, regardless of who you are, man, woman, whatever, you have to be honest with yourself at some point. And I think that's where I fall in that I can't rely on you to always hold me accountable. I have to

be honest with myself and be like Codin. You want to do this, you want to do that, you want to look this way, you want these opportunities. You can't even exhaust anybody else, whether it be Devol or Dolo or a trainer or whoever else it is. You can't exhaust them by you know, putting these issues that you have on them and then not expecting for them to help you. I have to be honest with myself and be like girl sis, if this is what you really want,

you're going to have to make the change internally. And I can't rely on everybody to always be the one to push me because that gets exhausting for them too, So you're welcome Devout again. Wow, Okay, you're welcome for the second time this episode. I'm so glad you were

able to fun thank yourself. So next time I'm bitching a moment about going to the gym, you have to replay this episode in this part so I can remind myself and I could be my own motivation to stop lying to myself and be true to who I am and want to be. I would definitely do that moment of truth there. Yes, make sure you follow us on social media. That's I Am Devout and Cadine I Am. And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, be sure to rape and subscribe that as that ass is a production

of Stitcher. It's produced by T Square, Stephanie Karayuke and Dinora Opinion. Our executive producer as Chris Manning, and we'd like to give a special thanks to our recording engineer Jared O'Connell, our sound designer Brendan Burns, and studio manager Ashley Warren. We'll back. I'm Drew McCarry and I'm David Roth. We have a podcast going on right now as part of the Stitchen and we're called Substraction. That's available everywhere. Get a podcast at Stitcher, Spotify, Apple, Go. Listen right

now to the Distraction, right now. It's out. Do it, please,