We live in two completely different worlds.
Is that true, sir?
Yes? Why will explain?
You're gonna explain? Okay, because our way of understanding and interpreting things are not necessarily what they really are. Let's decipher how that works. Dead Ass. Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm Devoured, and we're the Ellis's.
You may know us from posting funny videos.
With our voice and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy.
Wait, I make you need therapy most days. Wow.
Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married.
Yes, sir, we are.
We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of li's most taboo topics.
Things most folks don't want to talk about.
Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass is a term that we say every day. So when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred, the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. We thought that, say philos off to our whole new level.
Dead ads starts right now.
So all right, storytime, story time, and this story time takes me back to i'd say two thousand and fifteen, and I believe I told the story before, but I'm going to tell a story under different circumstances. This time it's about one of my former Prototype members. He was seventeen years old. He had been diagnosed with ADHD and put on medication. He had a sixty seven average, and he had joined Prototype as a member of Grand Street
captains his football team. And while he was there, we were doing report card checks and I've seen his grades and I said, dude, there's no way I can let you be a part of this program with a sixty seven average. If you don't get your grades up, I'm going to have to, you know, just dismiss you from the program.
So I spoke to his mom.
His mom says, yeah, you know, I don't want to say the young man's name because he's an adult now, and you know, I don't want to expose him. But he says, mom said, yeah, he was diagnosed with ADHD, he's on medication. If he's not on his medication, he doesn't know how to sit down and focus. So I said, can you just do me a favor and try something that my brother and I tried with a couple of other kids.
And she was like, what is that?
I said, take him off the medication, because I've noticed that those kids that are on medication will sit still, but they get drowsy, and when you're on that medication, you can't retain information. So she said, cool, I said, I'm going to give him a regimen he has to do every single morning, starting with the active dynamic warm up. And he did that every morning, and then I told him when he gets to school at lunch, don't go
to lunch with everybody else, go get a workout. In asked if you can go to the gym, if you could do some sprints. He graduated high school with a ninety average and went to college and no longer needs medication because of how perception became his reality. His mom, because of everything she was told or whatever she thought based on a perception, just figured my son is troubled.
I got to put him on medication when reality is most kids, especially young men, struggle in school because they're over I.
Forgot what the term is, but not over stimulated.
When you go to puberty and you have to start running through the system, you have to be active. And the perception is that jacks are dumb, right, But most athletes do better scholastically in school from a younger age than kids who don't do sports. But the perception of athletes and that we're what dumb when the reality is athletes are smarter than the people who don't do sports. Her perception was if I just give my kid medication, he'll be better, when in reality, it was making and worse.
And the reason why I wanted to tell that story is because a lot of people don't understand that your perception and what you think based on the information you received from these devices and stuff is not the reality. And I'm going to prove that to you guys today.
Bring it on in now, all right, karaoke time.
Karaoke time, and I'm a singer.
Karaoke so on that we've sung before, but it's gonna have a completely different meaning this time.
Okay, cool?
You ready? Was that it was all a dream?
I used to read Word Up magazine, Pepper and Heavy d Up in the hanging pictures on my wall every Saturday. Rappeitat mister Magic.
Now.
The reason why I sing that song we sang it before when we were talking about dreaming, dreaming and dream chasing, doing all these things. I used to read Word Up magazine. So I'm Pepper and Heavy d up in the limousine. Biggie had an idea of what he wanted to be, and that was big. But his perception was and he was big, big, the notorious one. His perception was that he could only be big through hip hop, when if we really think about it, what we know now is
that he could have done so many other things. And I wanted to just sing that song and speak to people. And it's gonna be a more serious topic for us today. And I really don't want to climb with this topic because I really want people to think when we sit down and discuss what we were about to discuss.
Let's have a dream, baby, let's all dream together.
That's a fact. Let's dream and reality. How about that? Ooh, it's dream and reality. But the reality is we got bills to pay, so let's do that first, so we can actually come back and have the discussion. All right, So stick around, we'll be right back, all right. So
we're coming back talking about perception versus reality. That story you gave about the young man is pretty interesting and it's so layered too, right, because you just think about the labels that they tried to put on children nowadays, and it's all really because there is the desire to place them on medications and label them and we as parents sometimes to just feel like we're doing the best
to help our child. So let's listen to these health it's running the health professionals, these medical professionals that tell us that our children need one thing, when the reality of it is that there's other ways.
There's always other ways, and even more so when it comes to perception and what people think. Right, I'm just going to give some I would say perception lays stereotypes about black men are just not true. Okay, that trouble
and I have look these things up. For example, the perception is that black men do not desire black women, and when we get married, we don't marry black men and women, when in reality, the amount of black men who are married in America according to the Census, eighty percent of those men are married to black women.
So what is it just the trends on social media that make us think otherwise? Because if you ask the random person, they'll say.
That it's a desire because it's exactly this.
Other people's perceptions of who you are become your reality when you allow them to infiltrate your mind.
Right.
Give you an example, A guy gets up on a podcast, fuck women, women ain't shit, women is bitches and no, no, no, no, no, no da da. Even if he's dated one hundred women in his life, one hundred women is still less than a thousandth of a percent of the population. But his voice then gets other people to reiterate the same thing. It gets stuck in the eco chamber, and then that
becomes a perception. That perception then becomes someone's reality if all they do is pick up their phone and listen to that same rhetoric all day, right.
Because all that's going to do the phone's going to continue to push more of that rhetoric here, whereas in a sense, designing what your world looks like through the things that you consume algorithm.
And this is the crazy part about AI, which is why I want to talk about perception and reality today. The algorithm makes it so that and I have to I want people to understand why the algorithm was created. Everything we do, right, what we watch, what we everything we'd watch read, doesn't matter what the medium is, whether it's your phone, your laptop, television, or theater.
It's all based in marketing. They want to sell you something.
So they give your attention, They get your attention through all forms of entertainment, and then they market to sell you. So what marketing geniuses have figured out is that if we can keep this person's attention by showing them everything that they want to see on their phone, and we have their attention, we can then slide in marketing ads
and sell things to them. So if you look up something that says, for example, women ain't shit, they're going to send you another podcast that says women ain't shit and another podcast the same way. For example, this idea that because Kanye West said it, once he gets rich, you're gonna find you a white girl.
Right.
The number of men that make over two hundred thousand dollars a year is less than two percent in America. The black men who make over two hundred thousand dollars a year, the number of black women they date outnumbers and marry outnumbers men who make less than them, which means, according to the Census, black men who make more money date and marry black women at a higher rate. But the perception is that when you get money, you date
outside of your race. You see what I'm saying, and there's so many same thing what I told you about athletes. People think athletes are done, but athletes graduated a higher rate from college than people who are not athletes.
Make that make sense?
See, and I wouldn't have known that because I mean, so, how do we then, Okay, how do we then encourage people to I guess, investigate or do an introspective look to say, am I indeed living in what is reality for myself? Or am I living in the perception of what I believe my life is?
Like?
How do we then decipher what that is or what it looks like or what the difference is.
Put the fucking phone down.
Listen.
I heard a quote from Denzel He said, if you don't watch the news, you're uninformed.
If you watch the news, you're misinformed.
Yeah, so do you know how you get affirmation?
You get information? Live?
Live, right, travel Like, if you really want to create a reality for yourself, travel the world on your own.
Don't listen to what people say this place is.
For example, when I was young, first movie I ever seen in my life ever Boys in the Hood.
It was nineteen eighty nine. I was five years old.
You watch Boyshood at five years I wasn't.
Supposed to, but my parents, like my dad.
My dad was with the Junior Layman and he was watching young men and it was like it was a cultural phenomenon at the time. So at five I watched Boys in the Hood. Then I watched Minister Society. My perception of what LA was was that I was afraid that if I get off the plane and go to LA. First of all my perceptions, I'm gonna get off the plane and be right in the middle of content, and if I have on red or blue, someone's gonna come by with a ouzi right and kill me. Right, that's
my perception. So now when you go to LA for the first time, you're nervous. You're walking around looking for things that's gonna validate what you've already learned through your perception.
That's true, though, Think about how many people we've met that are like y'all are from Brooklyn, like I thought Brooklyn was, And I'm like, okay, that's what I thought it was. It's still one of my top five favorite shows of all absolutely, But you're right, people will I remember when I used to do pageants back in the day, right. Everyone knows I'm a former pageant girl, and I would win the state title for New York. I would always
represent Brooklyn, then win this title for New York. And then when I would go on to the national pageants, I'm again now competing against the girls from the other city states. So I'll get to competition and they'll meet me and they're just like, wow, you're so nice for someone from New York. And I'm like, well, what's that supposed to me? What do you mean someone from New York? Well, you know, like you know what you hear about New Yorkers,
like you're just not that. And again perception versus reality that have you ever been to New York? Do you know that there's not like one type of person from New York. And of course this was like we were younger, we were like twelve, thirteen, fourteen. But it's just the idea that what Brooklyn or New York is supposed to be or look like, that one person can be that representative from that particular area. But that's any spiritype any culture, any every place, that's everything, and we all do.
That, and to be honest, it's sick. No, just listen to this just listen to how crazy this is. Perception a way of understanding or interpreting things right, reality the state of things as they actually exist, rather than as they may be perceived or might be imagined.
So perception gives way to it gives way to someone being subjective in a sense.
Well, yeah, because that's just what.
You're taking away from a situation.
Your perception is someone else's opinion of what you see. That's perception. When you just listen to someone else's opinion of what you saw, then you live your whole life based on perceptions, and you can be easily fool that way, easily swayed. You know, being objective is actually living in that space and being open to what you actually see. I'm going to be objective. I'm not going to come in with any preconceived notions. Per psychology today, perception acts
as a lens through which we view reality. Our perceptions influence how how we focus on, process, remember, interpret, understand, synthesize, decide about, and act on reality. And doing so, our tendency is to assume that how we perceive reality is an accurate representation of.
What reality truly is. But it's not.
The problem is that the lens through which we perceive is often warped in the first place by our genetic medispositions, past experiences, prior knowledge, emotions, preconceived notions, self interest, and cognitive distortions. You know what you can add to this, I'll.
Goal rhythm and the comment section. But you see, But yeah, no, absolutely, I know, I absolutely see what it is.
I'm begging anyone who listens to dead ass podcasts to just for a minute stop and ask yourself, do I really know the things that I say? Or am I just regurgitating someone else's opinion of what they claim they saw, because most of the time what you regurgitate is already a regurgitation of.
Else nobody's lived. Well, oh my gosh, it is so true. You need to start fact checking stuff and being like, where exactly did this come from? Is this a source that I can trust? Does this even make sense? Another story perception versus reality That just came to mind That made me laugh when I mentioned the comment section. So y'all know, I just went to Saint Vincent, right, my dad's home country. Got to go there for the first time in twelve years, mainly because it just is so
difficult to get to Saint Vincent. There's not many flights that get there. It's literally like two and three flights from Atlanta to get there, and we can't travel with the boys there. Also, there's not a lot of tourism there, so there's not a lot of hotels. So this is like a lot of reasons why I wasn't able to get to Saint Vincent till now. They just opened a new resort. It's been great. So I post a picture of myself wearing a Saint Vincent shirt.
It was a wet t shows coming out of the water. Who took that picture? He did?
Daddy did? Thank you. That was literally a picture of her trible is great. That was amazing. So yeah, took the picture, posted it or whatever, just showing love to Saint Vincent, because to be honest, I've been showing so much love to Jamaica because we're always there. It's more convenient to get to and there's a lot of Jamaican officials that are always in contact with me about ways that we can partner to do things. Saint Vincent not
so much. I don't get the inkling that they really want to do much business when it comes to tourism, or at least from the people I've reached out to. So anyway, post the picture, the picture pretty much goes viral. It's sidebar, thank y'all for the love, and then there were some comments, thank you, thank you for the love, thank you for getting them the love by taking the business.
You're welcome.
So then there was one or two people that said, like, oh, now it's convenient for her to be Vincenion. We thought she was just Jamaican and she never talked about being Vincention. That's your perception because you've sawn this, you've seen this picture for the first time. The reality is that I've always said and always big up the fact that I
was fifty percent Jamaican and fifty percent Vincenon. If you even go back to the tour footage, the flag that I tied around my waist was half Jamaican and half Viscension. If you went to my profile, it's a Jamaican flag and a Vincension flag. So I've never professed to be one. More than we can ask a question reality.
That's a question.
Yeah, she said she only pigs up Saint Vincent when it is convenient. What is convenient about bigging up Saint Vincent, Like what did you gain in order for it to be like she only did it because did you win the Saint Vicent page where you won.
One hundred thousand dollars.
I didn't get it convenience. I ended up on people's party flyers to get paid, No, and some people removed Someone actually sent me whe where someone removed the Saint Vincent from my chest and it was just a plain yellow shirt and they're promoting their cooler fit, you know what I'm saying. So I didn't get anything. There was nothing, like you said, convenient about me posting this picture of myself. I was just proud to be back in the Motherland.
Bring some attention to Saint Vincent, Yes, because it's a place that many people don't even know about. There were people also saying, oh wow, I didn't even know about Saint Vincent and the Grenadines because you know, you typically hear about the more popular island, which is Jamaica, just because it's huge tourism. Bob Marley, Bustamante, every you know.
So I see everybody came from there, right, Saint Vincent is not as much on the map, so For me, I was having a proud moment saying, yes, like, this is part of my heritage, this is half of who I am. I'm proud of my father's country, proud to be back finally, you know, finally have the means to get there. So yeah, that was just so funny. When I think of perception, this is what people are thinking. Oh,
she's conveniently vincentioned. Now so people just stupid. You know, some people are just stupid, and not for nothing.
Because of social media, you have to be very aware of perceptions. Because when we were growing up and I'm going to age myself, there was a standard in order to have a publication that the public could read. You know, you had to you had to go through in journalism.
What is it called when you have to do it?
Do journalism when you have like, for example, in order to post a publication, of course you have to fact check, you have to, but there was a standard. Oh yeah, like even if you did an op ed piece, it was like the person we've spoken to about this op ed piece, of the person who's delivering this op ed piece experienced this right right, nowadays you can just say whatever you want without without anyone doing a fact check without anyone saying has this person even experienced what they're
talking about? And then now it gets caught up in the ego chamber and there's millions of comments and it's being shared, and then that becomes the reality. There are so many things going on right now in the world. For example, we were told be careful going to Jamaica the Vows for the Vow's fortieth birthday. There's a lot going on. They're grabbing up tourists and that they they're
kidnapping people. And then we reached out to the Consulate General, who's really Jamaican who goes to Jamaica every weekend.
Almost on Jamaica literally.
And we asked and we said, you know, is everything okay in Jamaica And she was.
Just like, she laughed, yeah, She's like, you'll be fine.
And then we were just like, you know, we heard. And then once again it makes you realize that a.
Lot of the things that we we.
Hear in the world today is fear mongering and it's just not based in truth. It's just based in sensational sensationalism and getting clicks. YEP, I need to have as many people's attention as possible, So I'm going to say the most outlandish thing so I can get people to follow it. And you know what happens when you do that enough people repeat it, that becomes other narratives even.
Though it ain't true. That's why it's so important for Devaleni to for example, within our community. Devalen are huge on community. We were that way in Brooklyn and now that we're in Atlanta, this is our new community and we're trying to like put our pulse out in the community. Right So, there's two events that I was invited to recently,
well both of us. I attended one because the val was filming and he and I intended one together and they were centered around One was Meant for Choice out here in Atlanta with Morehouse College and another with Morehouse College that the president attended. Yes, deval and I wanted to attend these events because we want to have a
pulse in the community. They're going to be local EFFICI there, councilwomen, councilmen, people from Congress, like whoever is there making the decisions on the local level, because we know that that's where the impact is felt the most. That's where we want to be and in conversation with a couple young men there who are recent you know, morehouse graduates, who are just you know, moving and shaking in the political realm.
We said to them that it's important for us to not just be up there taking photos and you know, saying that we were at this event because it was for social media. We actually didn't take any pictures at one of the events. One event I got some you know, photo and video from because I made a speech, But other than that, that wasn't the moment for us. What we could have done was taking all these pictures and shaking hand with the president and this, that and the
third to post. But the reality is that was not important for us. The perception of why we were there and what we were doing, and the possibility that people would create a narrative around our photo with you know, the president or being that event was actually would have been I guess altered a bit because the reality of why we were there was to make those connections.
And we were deliberate about that because we understand that there are two worlds. That's what's part of my sound by earlier. There are two worlds we believe in and we live in. And I feel people should understand that there is the perception of what's happening and then there's really what's happening. And you have to be very careful to figure on how you're going to figure out what's
really happening. And for me, the only way you can figure out what's really happening, like Kaden just spoken, is to be there roots go.
Down and figure out what's going on.
You can't just listen to someone report to you because even if you think about the news right, they only tell us what they want us to know. And all of these news I would say broadcast, whether CNN, MSNBC, FOTS, I watch all of them.
And the reason why I watch all of them is because I.
Want to see what form of mix they're going to present the world to us in today. But then watching it for the past ten years and specifically since COVID, I was like, I got to stop watching and start existing. And that's in part two when you know you and I well. I made the post a couple of weeks ago about not doing social media as much because I also realize that when you engage in social media, you become part of the sensationalism and as pure as your
heart may be. People can take whatever content you have, put a spin on it, create a narrative, and then create a perception. And it's difficult for me now with the kids because the kids are like extensions of us.
You can create whatever you want to create about me.
I can deal with it. You can create whatever you want to create about my wife as long as I'm not if I don't know about it, because then I might come after you. But I know that she's mature enough to handle. But now handle what's happening now. But when it comes to my children, I can't let the world create a perception of what my children are doing or who they are and just include them in that, and then when they get older they look at us like that I didn't want to partake in any of this, right.
So a lot of that is just also realizing that it's okay to take things away from the perception tank.
Yeah, for sure, I mean, And that's the part and part why we've just been pulling back more in general. You know, because for example, we have our Patreon, which shout out to our patreon gang. You guys are very deliberate about the way you support us, and we appreciate that, and that's where we give the exclusive access to our family and things like that. But it's becoming even more scary with the AI and not knowing what's true from what's false, photo shopping like it's just a mess. And
that's in part two. I when Devlop made a post recently about just like it's been real on social media and people got alarmed and nervous, like what's going on over there? It really was just him saying, yo, like this is a lot and there's things that I want to do in real life. Yes, with my family, with my career that does not evolve social media.
But that's also perception versus reality too, right, because my mind wasn't even going there. And even Josh hit me up and was just like, yo, you know, if I didn't know you, I would you know, I would have to. And then I had to realize them even the words that I put out were perceived a certain way and they didn't really deliver what I wanted them to deliver.
So I have to be careful with even and that to me is scary.
I can't say how I feel because I have to be afraid about how people are going to perceive it.
That's scary.
I'm saying how I feel because and in the post, I can't remember the exact words, but I believe the words were, the more you learn about the world, it would either harden your heart yes, something that you knowing hardening your heart yes. Or you will learn to open your mind.
You said, if the world doesn't open your mind, it will harden your heart.
It's been real, right, So in my thought process, this is literally what I was thinking when I when I write this, if you don't learn about the world in a way where it's going to empower your mind, right, all it's going to do is make you dark, because you're going to not like everybody or like everything. And then it was just like, yo, it's been real, Like I just don't want to be on social media all
the time doing this. I didn't think that people were going to perceive it as me talking about taking my own life. But then I also have to realize that that's other people's perceptions of what people do and.
When you space, which is scary. Which is scary.
And I apologize afterwards because I also understand that I can't control how people perceive things. So for me to say something and expect them to understand why it's coming from. It's unfair to me, but it's also unfair to them because some people have lost people that way.
No, for sure, at this day and age, we err on the side of caution if people are going to ask, are you okay? Because why we're bringing genetic predispositions, We're bringing past experiences, prior knowledge, emotions, preconceived notions, self interest, hurt, pain, all of that is coming along with a comment or a caption or a post man. It really makes you think.
I hope it makes you, guys think.
At this point, we're going to take a quick break get into some ads. But while we get into these ads, I want you guys to really think about what we're talking about and how much of your life do you feel like or just preconceived notions of other people's opinions or really things that you've lived through absolutely And if you can't say that you live through all these things that you believe, you need to talk a question and where you get your.
Information putent toes down. But in the real world. Thanks, all right, y'all will be back.
All right, We're back, all right.
Listen a lot of time. Let's dive right in. Hi, Kadein and Deval. I've been following you guys since Facebook days and love you both. Thank you, Love you bad Girl. I've been also sharing your content with my husband and he enjoys you too as well. We also have our copy of We Over Me and we have enjoyed it so far. My husband and I will be twenty nine and thirty this year, and we've been together for twelve
years and married for two of those years. We, like you guys, had a honeymoon baby, and our son will be two at the end of this year. I'm expecting again and doing July, so our boys will be twenty months apart. I know you both, as you both know, pregnancy, postpart and breastfeeding, et cetera is hard, especially back to back like this, and I would like to be done
having children after this one. I've talked to my husband a few times about this, and he says he is happy with two boys, but is not interested in getting a vasectomy or me getting my tubes tied. I'm also not interested in birth control because I feel like it's my responsibility to take on that decision because I can't trust that. I can't trust his pullout game, which we
all know isn't the best method anyway. We also would want to be in a marriage that strictly uses protection until I hit menopause at all times, which he said he would think about getting a vasectomy, but wants time to think it over. Okay, Oh no, sorry, by that, I jumped ahead until menopause, which we know aren't one hundred percent effective either. During our last discussion, he said that he would think about getting a vasectomy, but wants
time to think it over. I can't understand how men feel a way about vasectomies, but I also don't think it's fair for me to take birth control extra hormones. Plus I've never been on it, so I have no clue which one will work best for my body or the side effects that I may experience. I know this will take some time, but I'm really hoping that he will agree to the vasectomy instead.
This is a perfect question based on what we're talking about, perception versus huh.
I'm literally thinking the same thing, Deval. I know you have shared that Kadeine didn't make you get a vasectomy. You chose to any advice or tuggestions that you too can give to help. That will be greatly appreciated. Also advice on the snapback trying to take care of two under Tukadeen because I'm trying to look like you after these two hole boys. Thank you both. PS. Next year we will not be pregnant and we'll make it to it as live show. That's awesome. Perception versus real.
Perception versus reality. This is perception.
Once you get a vasecting me, it's going to hurt so bad that for the next three months you won't be able to do anything. And I ran on a Monday. I got my versector me on a Thursday. I ran on a Monday, I had to matter of fact, I got my visected me on a Thursday. I had to carry Cairo to the literally carry him to the emergency on Friday.
On Friday. So this idea that you like everything's going to go wrong and.
That's a fallacy, that's not true perception perception, Then that'll be watery.
Then that'll be watering. That was a perception I had heard about. That is a fallacy.
That's a fallacy I can attest to that one.
That's another still creamy, she enjoys it.
Perception once you get a vasected me, your sex drive drop, Fallacy.
I've been on her more than ever in the last year and a half. You can ask her, Chad, and not for nothing.
She's been on me more than ever because she's not on birth control, so her hormones ain't fucking up her sex drive.
Reality, the hormones fuck your sex drive up, and all of those side effects are indeed side ect side effects. That's a reality reality for sure. Perception. There's such thing as a snapback. There's no such thing as a snap back. There's a gradual get back, which I did over time, because you need to give your body a year or two after be able to really get back to your baseline nine months minimum, but at least a year a year and change to get back to that baseline of hormones,
whatever that looks like for each woman. So that's indeed the whole snapback culture.
Perception and reality perception perception. Once you get a resected me, a testostae drops and you won't be able to be as strong a workout, Fallacy. I lift more now, I run more now, my knees feel better. I'm probably stronger now than I was in my mid thirties, not as strong as I was in my twenties. In my twenties, I was lifting to be a professional football player. But I can tell you this right now, and this is the last perception reality thing. Perception is you get to
afseect me, your life is over reality. I gotta assect me, and my sex life has been better.
Than it ever was.
We not worried about getting reality, were not worried about getting pregnant.
Kadeen is not on birth control. I don't even know, Like there's no.
To me, there's been no negatives, no, Like I have not had one other than the fact that I can't have any more children unless I get it reversed. That would have to be the only negative. I have no negatives from having to reseect me.
For sure. If you know, unequivocally, without a doubt that you won't want any more children, I would definitely recommend it. And I've asked about several times again, like do you have any regrets about it? You know, do you feel any differently about it? Because that was a decision, yes, that he made on his own, but it was also to speaking to people who actually did the procedure and not speaking to people who have just heard things about vasectomy. It's speaking to actual people.
You know. What's funny.
All of the people who have made comments because remember we did the vasectomy video and there was a bunch of dudes over there good luck with this, and no, no, no, no no, all of these men who have opinions don't have vaseectomies. So what the fuck are.
You talking about.
You haven't experienced.
All you're doing is regurgitating things that you heard from other people who claim they've heard it. All of the guys who I know who have vasectomies. Because here's another truth. There is a baseline of men, a large portion of men who after getting married and having children have had vasectomies. Because remember when I started speaking to the dads around here, there were six dads coaching football. I was the fifth
one to get a vasectomy. So this idea that getting of aseectomy is like an anomaly and no one does it is not.
So it's false.
A lot of men are protecting their wives and protecting them your own self interest, but having a pasectomy, yo, real talk, Kadeen. At this point, I'm like, yo, babe, I'm hard.
What's up?
She was like, let's go, she's not worried about getting pregnant. It's like our suck. Life has changed. And I didn't realize at that point how much went into a woman every time she laid down with the guy she has in the back of her mind.
Absolutely I'm like, get pregnant. I never thought.
About it, or just not being in the mood and having issued. We spoken about all of that over the prior seasons because I had the IU d N. It was supposed to be non hormonal, but it was still messing with my hormones. My period was coming every three weeks. It was ridiculously heavy, like I'm not anemic, Like there was just so much, gosh many things. That was the reality of what we were experiencing.
I'm I'm not gonna go on on a press tour about the second me, but that shit has changed our life for the better.
It really has.
And you know, if he's listening right now, my dude, just just look at me. I don't look any smaller. I've gained musculature, I've changed my dit I've done everything to change my die. But after this bessecting me has really been good for me. And then if y'all don't want to have any more kids. My g really think about it, consider it. I did have regretted me. Remember after it was like, damn, I can't have any more kids.
So make sure that you are in the space. And after two years and now we have four and the coders in that terrible two phase, I have no regrets about having no more kids because if we had like another child, like a one year old right now, I'd be straight. I'd be pulling my fucking hair outs because there's no way.
There's no way. Yeah, there's no way.
We didn't have no I don't have no energy for it.
Everything happened as the shit. We have no capacity or energy for anything else living. We got a damn plant, were trying to keep alive every dayn't have dead listen. Okay, all right, good luck to y'all, And if you want to be featured as a listener letter write in. Y'all email us. Triple cannot wait to get your email with your story. Dead ass Advice at gmail dot com is where you send it.
That's D E A D A S. S adv I CE at gmail dot com.
All right, moment of truth time. We're talking perception versus reality and how we are literally fed our worlds.
Moment of truth this is I have a simple moment of truth.
There really is a matrix, really is, but a lot of us exist in the matrix. Every day when we wake up in the first thing we do is go on Instagram or YouTube or TikTok a right. Unplug yourself from the matrix. Get out here and travel the world, actually see things. Don't go on there to see what the pyramids look like on your phone. Go to egyptancy the pyramids, you know. Don't don't listen to someone else's opinion about that movie. Go watch the movie. You know
what I'm saying. Don't don't listen to someone's opinion about who you should vote for. Go listen to these people speak at events and figure out if this candidate is the right candidate for me.
Let's get out of the matrix. Ladies and gentlemen.
I love that. Get out of the matrix. Let's point out let's be the hashtag for me. It's pretty simple as well too. I want to encourage people to, for lack of a better I guess terminology, put your feet back in the soil, like of where you want to be connect again. I know that things got really weird, especially after the whole pandemic COVID and all that, but like,
just reconnect with people. I feel like we are in a curated space where we think that everything that exists is what is the be, all that ends all right. But when you when you travel, when you are cultured, when you get out there and you start to see different parts of the world, realize how minuscule your life is. You realize how minuscule your surroundings and your immediate curated life is. There's so much more going on. We went to Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, and we went back
to where my father is from. Like literally we got off the resort. We went back into actual Saint Vincent and traveled a bit and we saw some things, and we went to my family's lands. Yes, shout outs to rich Than Park, Mesopotamia area. We were all up in there. And we went back to my family's land and the Valini stood there and we just looked around. Beauty, okay, just beauty in nature, untouched untouched nature. Just literally sparkling water coming out of the mountain.
No, literally like literally sparkling water, yes, kind of.
The mountains and running through a street that you can just it was.
Just beautiful, and you just realize how small your world is, and it gets even smaller when you're just consuming from devices.
We also learned a lot about who your father is, because as kids, we learned about our parents through what they say. Yeah, and everyone else's perspective of who they are.
So it's all perception.
Going back and seeing how your father was raised, I understand, yes, why that man takes your shoes off and goes and all he cares about is his garden in the back.
That's because insane gardening is.
Life, yes, far I mean live off of the grounds in which they live, like they they grow everything you see, They've grown it, the animals, they've raised them.
That's why your father's so one with the nature.
And absolutely so my perception is like, oh Dad, you're stuck in like the nineteen seventies in Saint Vincent, When the reality is is that is how he was grown and that is what Saint Vincent is. Literally all about the nature, the beauty, And I can understand why maybe as a as an island, as a country, they're not
as interested in tourism per se. No you know, yes, it'll bring in dollars, but think about all of the nature and the beauty of the island that may have to be interfered with in order to make certain places accessible for tourism. So I have a respect for Saint Vincent if they're just like, y'all, we like our little country and what we're doing over here, because the reality is, y'all gonna come in here and fuck up what we got going on, and it's not worth it.
Things are good for money. Some things are good for money, you know.
But it's like, if I enjoy living on the planet and living on the earth, I don't need to make a good jillions of dollars to enjoy my life. So every island is not open to tourism because every island doesn't want to pretty much destroy what it is that the island is supposed to be about.
Absolutely absolutely all right, y'all, thank you so much. For those who are Patreon gang, you can find exclusive dead Ass podcast content there, more family content, exclusive videos, and you can find us on social media at dead Ass the Podcast. You can find me at Kadine I Am.
And I Am Deval and if you're listening on Apple podcasts. Be sure to rate, review and subscribe.
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