Just because you see people in the parking line don't mean they don't got shit to say.
And this parking lot himpen is not the picky you probably think it is.
Dead ass, dead ass.
Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm devoued and we're the Ellis's.
You may know us from posting funny videos with.
Our voice and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy.
Wait, I make you need therapy most days. Wow.
Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married.
Yes, sir, we are.
We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of Li's most taboo topics.
Things most folks don't want to talk about.
Through the lens of a millennial married couple.
Dead ass is a term that we say every day. So when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. We about to take philosof to our whole new level.
Dead ass starts right now.
Before we get into it, our guests, I want to tell this story. I was a little bit upset about this story, but I did understand what was happening. So I'm going to, you know, explain a little bit in twenty twenty. This was after Kobe's passing, who else had passed? Pop Smoking passed, George Floyd was murdered, and also Chadwick Boseman.
Had died that summer.
It was just a heavy, heavy year and Kadeen and I had decided that we were going to dedicate that season of the podcast to the socioeconomic and socio political unrest that was happening in America during that time in twenty twenty. That was sparked by George Floyd, but also Breonna Taylor, also online arbery.
There were so many events that happened at that time.
And for that season, we interviewed Sean King, my son, the general we into we interviewed at the time who was Vice President Biden, this before he won the presidency from Donald Trump. But we had interviewed a bunch of different people dealing with socio political and socio economic issues. And not for nothing, that was our lowest listen to season today like it was our The funny thing is our highest listen to episode was the episode we talked about Pressure, which is when we.
Talked about sex in the midst of the season.
That was our second episode, but it was just funny to me that when we chose to speak about things that were dear to us and dear to our community, that people stopped listening.
And before we get into.
First of all, I guess so I'm excited about being here. I just want to give a little bit of my idea of why the numbers were down. First and foremost, I felt like people just needed a break. You know, we released that season of the end of twenty twenty, so we'd already dealt with a lot in the beginning.
Because everything kind of kicked in March. Yeah, everything kicked in March January with Kobe.
But yeah, so we we released that season, I believe in September September October, and I feel like people were just fatigued because they were watching CNN every day. They were listening to all the pundits speak, and I feel like it was everything escape.
It was a lot.
Yeah, I feel like they were looking for an escape. So that's why our numbers were down. But I am interested in asking our guests when we come back from break, her thoughts about it.
It'll be interesting.
We're going to take a quick break, okay, and when we come back, Kay's going to introduce our guests.
Sounds good, stick around, y'all.
Kay decided that we were going to start a new karaoke trend. Yes, and the karaoke trend is not going to well, the karaoke song is no longer going to be related to the topic because sometimes we just feel in the vibe.
That's a fact. And sometimes we've been having a hard time trying to figure out a song that correlates to the topic because a lot of times it doesn't even really correlate. It just might have one or two words that makes sense.
Like today, I was like, oh, parking lot pimp but we should do big pimping, right, Well.
We're supposed to surprise them with the don't let you do.
Car You said we were going off with vibes.
I thought you were gonna do the other song that we were talking about that we fell asleep to last night.
All right, So since we're going on vibes and Carrey fucked up the introduction for fucking lot pimping, we're gonna go with the other song that we fell asleep to last night.
Oh, we could do both.
I mean we were we fell asleep to last night because I was sleep so I don't remember girl. Oh gosh, okay, you started.
This is your song, bro, I can't tell you how I feel about.
You night and day.
So the reason why she's singing the song is because it's a part in the song. It comes the bridge and the break and he just goes girl, and that is my favorite part of the song.
And I don't know why we find that part so funny. Y'all.
Go listen to I'll Be Shore's song yes, night and day, night and day, and.
And there's a partner where he goes girl.
Over and over again.
He says it twice.
It felt like it was over and over it.
Girls.
All right, we're back, and I'm going to introduce our guests, so that way she can kind of chime in because she's been listening behind the scenes to the story, and we want to get her a two cents about why she thinks that was happening then and what it looks like now. In the scope of twenty twenty three, we're still dealing with a lot of things. I think we're always dealing with something when it comes to socioeconomic and political issues.
But today we're parking lot pimping, y'all.
And if y'all if you didn't know what Parking Lot Pimping was, Baby, you don't need a car for it.
You don't, you don't. You just need to be there.
Linnae Venee is a writer, poet, and content creator whose social media series Parking Lot Pimping seeks to inform and educate Americans, especially US US, about the social and political issues affecting our communities and the world as a whole.
The series is posted on.
Fridays, and, as Lenae says at the beginning of each video, she's always keeping it very black and very brief, which I appreciate. Parking Lot fin Ben has been so influential in getting black Americans informed that the Vice President Kamala Harris made an appearance earlier this year to talk about gun reform.
Baby credits Okay.
The series has gained Lenae to and double ACP Image Award nominations, and she's here to talk to us today.
Clap if a clap trip were gonna be mad at a cloud, but I am.
We are so proud of you, proud to have you here like this is just I'm ana get out of your way, and I want to ask you a question. Our content the engagement dropped when we started to speak on socio political issues. As someone who is primarily in that arena, why do you think that happens when quote unquote entertainers, Because we I consider us to be entertainers.
When entertainers choose to.
Show people how they feel about political issues, why is it like a dismissal.
Yeah, I think it's really interesting, And I also think you hit the nail on the head, especially during the time you guys specifically released that season. I do agree people probably wanted to break, but also because you established yourselves in a pop culture realm, I do believe people might have felt disrupted in a way because they might have come to you as for some type of relief
or release and just to be entertained. And another big thing is, for a very long time, our people have felt very distance from politics.
And it's really.
Interesting because I've been a scholar of a lover of black history all my life life and it wasn't really until I left my master's program and I began to see, as you said, all the things we've been.
Hit with since twenty twenty.
I guess experiencing it as an adult on my own, Lord Jesus, they gave it a different coloring for me. But it's surprising, to say the least, that that has actually been with the bulk of our contribution to American history has been in politics, but absolutely still because we have not yet achieved all the freedoms we want to achieve. That has caused a lot of discontent and wilful distancing in our communities from politics. And so I think during that time in specific, we were getting a lot of
people on the train. We were getting them to understand you have to be versed, you have to know what's going on so you can step up to the table, so you can be informed, so you can be on with language all the things. It's just it's hard because even as we're doing that, even as we see this influx of so many young black creatives really getting engaged in the conversation, we're still men with the people in
the comments sections. I'm not voting on more because no matter how I vote, and there re turns out how I need to and I'm not doing no less of two evils.
And I get it, I really do. We are having to.
Do a lot of unlearning and enfranchising ourselves, and it's just hard to do. It's hard to do, especially when politics has always been seen as a quote unquote white people think, you know, and it can't be that anymore. It can't be that anymore.
Absolutely, Yeah.
I think earlier, well, earlier this season, based off of when this episode is airing, we did talk about celebrity influence and them having a say when it comes to using their platforms, particularly when it's comes to politics. Right so,
for right now, for example, what the war happening. People are looking at certain people of influence with platforms that have millions of followers to take a stance, whether it's picking a side, whether it's you know, towing the line, whatever it is that they're doing, they're looking for that, and I think what we did, particularly in twenty twenty, we didn't want to come across as being tone deaf.
Right.
It's like, read the room that you're in right now, Well, how can you just talk about sex and marriage and frollicking around.
When the world is literally crumbling around you?
So for us to avoid that, we felt like it was just our duty to not necessarily take a stide or to be divisive, which tends to happen a lot when you do even try to just educate people in you know, a post or giving information. And I love that when I look at your page and I come to your page, it's usually for educational purposes because I may not understand the jargon ladened you know, terms that
happen with politics. So I think if people are approaching it with more of a let me educate myself kind of perspectives versus let me go to the comments to be divisive, it'll be a lot it'll be a lot more beneficial. But you know, in that moment, we just were like, how do we avoid like not talking.
About the elephant in the room when the elephant is in the room?
Right?
You know? Have you had yours like that even on your platform.
Yeah, I'm actually struggling with it right now, and I'll give some more context to that in just a second. But of all the posts that I'm seeing, of all the posts that I'm seeing that are showing a lot of violence that's going on, that are infographics of what sides are talking about, what what might be true and what isn't. I will tell you the most powerful meme, so to speak, that I've seen is a picture that says,
I think the elephant ties the room together. And I thought this spoke volumes because especially with someone like a platform myself, especially you guys, it's just minorities in America. You know, more often than not that the elephant that's in the room is I think that needs to be
tackled so the room can be at peace. So the room can be peaceful, you know, And people are saying that they want peace on earth, and it's just really difficult for people to say what they want to say because the reality is their politics can be tied to
their careers. And so right now when I say that I'm struggling with it on my own platform, you know, I have a podcast where I'm connected to to other creators and while we all aren't supportive of all the things that we're in support of because our podcast kind of it is a extension of the park of my Pamphan brand, but all of us have roots, and whether it's black studies or advocacy and all the things, I can't just allow my statements to color what.
They got going on.
Also, also, I work with people, and while I'm thinking about the webs that I'm connected and I'm also really thinking about what my spirit wants me to do, and what I'm being led just to me in this moment. So I think a lot of people are making the best choices that they can and I can't speak for anybody else's choices, you know. I've been taking a minute myself to craft how I want to say what I want to say, because you just have to.
It's not a time to be.
Quiet, right for sure?
Right, I have a question, Okay, where do you because a lot of people ask me this all the time, where do you get your information?
Right?
Denzel Washington had a quote that said, if you if you watch the news, you're misinformed, But if you don't watch the news, you're uninformed, you know, And then he asked reporters. He said, you know what, what a a great responsibility you have to tell the truth. And we're living in an age now where the truth is not as important as being first, Like it's just let's be first. Let's get the information out first, and even if it's not true, well we got it out first, so we
get the clicks. Where do you find your information to know and stay informed and know that the information I got is the right information?
Yeah?
Because I mean, you have pretty much essentially created a new version of news media. You know, that makes it super digestible for us, and we haven't seen anything like that before really, So, like, what made you? Also, I guess to piggyback on Davow's question, what made you create parking lot pimping? Like, just give us an overview about what it is that your platform is.
So what made me create parking lot Pimping, honestly was a desire to see black people really be there for one another. Regardless about the things that I've learned about racism in this country, I've discovered that it's been most successful at dividing our communities, whether it's on the basis of sex, gender, sexuality, class, all the things.
And as much as we want.
To talk about the white man being the issue, the white man has done a lot of things in our own neighborhoods that we have to attend to before we can be a united front. So I started the parking lot to inform my inform my audience on historical things that have taken place that make our communities valuable period and pulling back the wool over.
Age old adages about what certain.
Groups of people are capable of, whether or not, they are valuable.
In our communities. And so that's where it started.
And then as I started to see whether it was in the news or social media, these different topics taking over the headlines and starting these dialogues, I said, okay, well I can use I can be informed what's going on in the news and use these content pieces as opportunities to connect what is going on throughout history to make my point hit home all the more. And that is actually when I saw my content spike. So to your point, I'm always looking in the headlines. I actually
have a writing team now. I've got a researcher who's a journalist and a writing partner as well to help me just make sure that I am. If I'm traveling or anything, I'm still abreast of what's going on, and I have all the most up to date information, and so I'm looking in the news to see.
What I can pull from.
But more importantly, what I think I can tell the best story about, And not just tell a story as in makeup something, but what narrative can.
I craft that I can be proud of that I know is.
Verified information and all those things, and what I can say that has the most impact from my audience. And so with that, then all three of us also have master's degrees in African American studies. We pull from our peer reviewed literature. We pulled from books that have been certified by the scholarship things to pad that information to make sure that we're doing due diligence.
So it's a two way street for sure.
That's great.
So you get your history from certified outlets. History makes most that makes the most sense. The biggest issue that people are running into now is do I listen to CNN? Do I listen to Fox? Do I listen to MSNBC? Like which newspapers do I read? Because now the biggest thing is everything is fake news. It's all propaganda. So my biggest concern is trying to answer people who ask me the question like where aval where do you get
your news if you can't trust anything you watch? And I want to ask you because you are way more educated on this than I am. And I also feel safe in saying that we have a guest on the show who does her due diligence not only for history but also current events. Where do you get your news and find out about information and things? That's happening now.
Yeah, so I pay a lot of attention to the discussion around my sources as well, like what their credibility has been in the history, and whether it's the history of someone's brand or history period. It's always going to be revealing to you about whether or not you can trust the source of information. And so, for instance, just taking it back to twenty twenty, if you're at a rally, not you don't even have to be at the rally.
If you're on Fox News and they're planing clip of Trump saying whatever about the good people in Charleston, South Carolina who just fand somebody over with a car, you can look at the history of the good people in South Carolina and let them know that no, that was actually factually racist, you know. So it's those kinds of things you just you have to be a little bit more well informed about the history of the thing before you can just make an opinion on what people are
saying about it right now. And I think that is the determining factor because it is difficult and what I can say that so far, sources that I've pulled from that I trust are people like MPR, the Acluvox the Washington Post.
It can get iffy.
So you've got to make sure that you are giving yourself an opportunity to see what folks are saying about the issue itself, because things are also complex. And I think that's the best thing about my platform and also what I encourage others to do, and that's embraced the nuance of situations and understand that.
Not everything is cut and dry.
Right, Okay, So I didn't want to say some want to hear you saying, but I had gotten some flak from some of my friends because I do watch CNN, but I also watch Fox, so watch MSNBC because like you, I'm like, we have to understand the nuance, right, And when people speak like you said, go look at the
history of that person. Go look at the history of their their words, and have they spoken fallacies in the past, because then you can see if they spoken fallacies in the past, this may not be someone I really want to you know, hold as a credible source. But that doesn't mean everyone on every source is discredible or is that not even a word discreditable you.
Know or not or not credible?
You incredible?
But I do the same thing.
I'll watch Fox for a couple hours and see what's going on on that side. I'll watch THEE and and I'll watch MSNBC.
I would love to know Lenney what your process is like, because when you're trying to unpack and then try to find a way to deliver what can be very daunting, complex information that can also be very touchy depending on like who's listening and what their stances, delivery is everything. And you know, we always talk about with our team just how we use the gear to make the gifts that you've been given to make them work for you.
And I know that you do have a background in poetry as well.
And how do you find that being a poet has kind of led you to be this kind of social media educator. Do you think it's better received or well received based off of how you deliver it?
Absolutely?
Yeah, sure and go ahead.
Oh no, I just I'm gonna be honest.
When I when I first came to your page, it was the flow in which the information was coming out, which is made me pay attention right right, because you could you could be very knowledgeable, would be a dry talking head.
Well that's true.
You know, I listened to all of your videos at least two or three times, just because at first I'm just like, she's so eloquent.
I love the way she said that the flow is.
Great, Like I look at that portion of it first, and then I have to go back and what did she really say? You know, and just be able to like unpack it and digest it. So was that like a major influence in how you started parking lot pimping?
And yeah, information?
And it's interesting you use the words of major influence because I think in transit absolutely did I think about it. No, I actually critiqued myself because, especially since I started the parking lot, I had not had intimate time with my journal, just literally writing poetry unless someone was asking me to
do it. For it, even unless I was getting paid for it, wasn't something I felt that I was still honing my craft on until I got a lot of feedback that my photo my videos do feel like poetry for the listener and the audience, and paying attention to my delivery was always something intentional, because, as you said, you can be informed, but you can also be a draft.
I was a high school.
Teacher for two and a half years, and one thing a high school kid is going to let you do is know if you're wat.
Y that because I was not the history head at all in school.
I mean, to me, it was just dry, dry, dry drive.
Look, I totally disconnected when it came to social studies and things like that.
But deal, so where were you when I was in high school history?
And where are you in high school?
She was six?
Y'all?
How to age me like that? God damn? So is there a patique?
I don't know if you had a follow up question or not, but I'm just like feeling the flow of where we're going here speaking about African American history and all that.
Like what keeps you inspired the most?
Because it can just be a lot, especially during the time and like all of the noise, Is there anything that keeps you inspired or just you it makes you want to keep going in times like this.
I think it's two things, and I don't want to get too deep on you, but it's just one of my heart right now. But the first thing is that I love us for real, Like we say that as a joke, but I am absolutely in love with black people. I have enamored with what we've been able to do on this earth, and I am in all of all the gifts that we've been given and the circumstances that we've had.
So that's one thing, yes, And.
The second thing is that it's just honestly something I'm called to do, you know. Oh, like conviction very heavy in my spirit, that this is something that we can't see an into right now, but if we were to give up, well, our progeny will never see an endo it.
So I'm very inspired.
Let me tell you why that's deep. But that's very very important. Right during the mix of all that, I wrote a book, a children's book called the Elyssis the Elysis in the Time Machine, Why do we have to say black lives matter? And pretty much it was a historical journey where my character traveled back in time with my sons and my wife and we explained to them, from slavery to black holes to Jim Crow, why we have to say black lives matter? But what you said
resonated with me so much. I love being black so much. Not because of all the things people think blackness is, Oh he's athletic, Oh, the sexual prowess of a black man and a black woman. No, I love being black because, if you know, our history and know everything that we've gone through to understand the resilis that exist in us as a people makes me love my people like I legitimately feel like I can do whatever I want to do. We took the twenty three and meter tests and I
found out that my ancestors are eighty percent Nigerian. Eighty percent Nigerian, but they actually walked in the trail of tears after the slaves were freed in eighteen sixty.
Five, and it just made me proud.
Yeah, you know, whereas as so many other people would feel like dang I was my ancestors we sold Oh no, yeah, we walked miles west. We walked miles west to survive and then build what we have now. So I understand what. I understand what you were saying by being free but being deep.
I get it. But go ahead, I want to cut you a guest.
And so it's fine.
And it's funny that you say that, because I was having a conversation with someone and being funny but being all the way serious at the same time. I said, Harriet Tubman made I don't know how many trips up in dynasty down to states frame people.
You're gonna waste her time, for.
We're gonna waste all the people for us time who spent so much time and effort less waiting tears for us to be able to sit.
Here today and talk on the podcast.
Huh. And so that's I feel like I can't waste time. And then also just knowing what we do here today is what's going to be propelling the future generations of us. So that's why I keep doing it. But to your point, it is very exhausting, and I've had to take my own hiatuses And actually I've spent the last year investing my time and energy and developing a self care brand.
People have been telling me to make tea.
So I'm finally making teas, but since to release this holiday season, and I got to be in community with women who are glagiche And if you're not familiar, those are our sensions of the people here in America that were able to retain all of their Western African West African influence from the period of slavery. Because in Georgetown, South Carolina is where the majority live today, but also
in some offshoot islands on the coast. But if you know anything about the different regions of slavery, they grew different things, and in that region that grew rice. And the way in which you grow rice in large scale is very dangerous. It is dangerous in terms of the infrastructure, but also what the slave people were exposed to. And so the lifespan of an enslaved person there was only seven years, seven years of labor. But I say all that to say is why people didn't want to be
in the mix risk in their lives. And so there were far less overseers, far more people, and big far less people in big houses micro managing them. They had task systems, so as long as they met their quotas, they left them alone and they were free to continue their traditions, cultures, food stuffs and all the things. And so those women have helped me launch a brand, and I definitely know that I'll be tapping into other cultures
and the diaspora to help make my tees. But not only is it the tea's at the teacups, it's candles and back tea as well for you to and certain nerves and pice and all the things. So that has also been a part of my story, like yes we have to continue the good fight, Yes we were made with resilience in mind, but we also have to rest and repair ourselves if we're going to keep going.
So, so look real quick, I know, I know you get a lot of praise and learn from our people, but I also know when you probably don't post abody it, you probably do get hate.
From the other side.
Yeah, I'm talking to Okay, So how do you deal with and how do you decide with regardless of whether the hate comes from people who look like me or don't look like me, how do you decide how you're going to keep going and if you're going to keep going.
Uh, those comments don't really have a place I think as a human. They hurt sometimes, they hurt my feelings. Sometimes they're just laughable, but they have no place in what I got going on. You know, I had a conversation I was able to bless enough to have dinner with Mistab and I was just talking to her about Tabitha Brown. I was talking to her about my season in life and acting with integrity and being honest, and she said that honesty is other people's problem, not yours.
And so that encouraged me in a big way, because if I do feel that I'm.
Putting my best foot forward and I'm sharing truth that honesty and truth and the inability to deal with it.
It's not my problem. My goal is just to put it out there to start conversation. And I think that even that.
Brings me to something else that you didn't ask me, But it's just in my mind to talk about it. We got to know what our roles are. Some of us are not marshals in the street. Some of us are not policy advocates. Some of us don't lobby in courtrooms. Some of us do the educating, and that's okay. And people on either side are also going to have a problem with how you engage in the fight, but that's their problem, that's not yours. And you're gonna be confident in how you show up.
No.
I love that.
I love that you've figured out where you fall in this ecosystem of change, right because we're always trying to scramble to figure out what that was. And I think, particularly back in twenty twenty, it was just like, man, if you're not saying anything on social media, people thought like you're not saying anything, much like even now, if they say you know you're silent, you're complicit, like you know, you don't stand for something, you're kind of toning the line.
So I love that you found where you are in that ecosystem, but I've always wondered just to kind of change pace a little bit.
Why the parking lot? Like how did that come up?
Girl? You know?
Let me tell you, anybody who's ever wanted to do something, my story is epitome of just do it. Literally, just do it and everything will fall into place. And the only reason why even one outside is because I was going to start my show on YouTube and it was going to be a little bit longer, but I said, how can I stand out from people who are doing videos in front of their desk, in front of their bed, Yeah, you know, doing.
The lifestyle type things.
And I was like, I want people to scroll class and be like, what's she doing in her parking lot?
And like that's it's all the way.
All of it was a strategy to get folks attention and keep those attention because to the Vale's point earlier, I already knew coming in that people felt like they already knew everything they was to know about black history and it's just not true. And also everybody that they hear it from is either trying to push something down their throat or just communicating the way they cannot relate to. And that's also where I'm gonna keep a black Keep it Brief came from because after I think I made
a longer video it was like maybe nine minutes. It was terrible, but my boyfriend and I were talking about how the attention spent attention spent isn't there.
For my brand new conceast six minutes, right, And what he said.
To me is that you should do something short on Instagram and then tell them to come to YouTube. And I was like, no, because they're not going to do that either. I need to do it all within these three minutes on Instagram.
Yes, So that's where I'm going to keep it back. Keep it brief came from.
Your genius for that. I'm gonna tell you how old are you if you don't mind me asking. Twenty eight, So you're ten years my junior.
Right.
But literally it was the same process we went through with content. Literally it was we have to create content that people want to see, right. So at first it was like, let's create short videos and send them to YouTube. But it was like nah, because even on YouTube, they're not gonna look past six.
Minutes, right exactly, And the analytics.
Show the point was three to four minutes. You can make a video three to four minutes. You can keep people's attention span and they'll share it. So it's amazing to me that at twenty eight you were able to figure that out. I was a little bit old, butive, just do it.
I was twenty five.
Just do it so insanely wise.
And I mean I was talking about this pre show, but Leney and I actually met, I think for the first time in person at a Target event at Essence Festival, and it was just something about your spirit and your energy, and I'm just like, I know, I want to see her again, and I have to see her again, and we're gonna have to get her on the podcast because just your energy and your space in that room and how sure you were of yourself, like that was just enough to have me.
I didn't in touch with many women.
I mean, there was a room full of amazing women, but I'm just saying someone who I know I wanted to be in their presence again. So I just love that, and I salute you says for knowing at twenty five that this was something that you, you know, were called to do and sitting in that.
It's so funny that you say that, because I'm just remembering exactly where we met, and that was at the.
Brunch for Target.
Yes, yes, yes, girl.
When I tell you I was in samples that day.
Really, the stylist that I had, it just didn't correlate where we were going.
And I just when I walked in that room, when we were there with.
All of these big names and icons, I was like, I'm in here looking like a harlet. Nobody's gonna take me.
Seriously. I got like try to fix myself.
And it's so funny because when it was time to speak, I said, oh, I get to.
Say something, and now everybody will know that I'm serious.
Baby, baby, It's so funny how you were internalizing that because I never would have been able to tell first off.
But yeah, but the many you opened your mouth to speak.
I was just like, oh my goodness, like this this girl has something to say.
And I was listening and I'm super happy.
I wish I was there, Hea, you know it.
Was it was for the girls, it was for.
The Sorry I could still wish I could still Man, Yeah, speaking, and that's what was there.
TAB wasn't at that event, and we were there with I think Jasmine Guy along.
Yeah, it was a really really great space to be.
Yeah, shout out to Essence Fest for always curating spaces you know, and and arenas for us to get together and love on each other and inspire each other. Like that's amazing. So I know that you are an artist that does many things. So before we wrap up, because I feel like, you know, we can totally unpack and have back for like some specific I would love.
To have because we're going through an election yeah this year, and I'd rather have someone speak on what we as the black community need to be focusing on.
Oh, for sure, I would.
I would love to have for back it.
So definitely pin us on your calend for sure.
But I know that you're a poet, you're a writer, you're an actress, you are a educator, so many things.
You know, what do you see next for yourself? What do you see in your future? Only twenty eight?
I feel like you are on the cusp of like this is just the precipice of like your your your ability and your greatness. So is there anything that you foresee other than your tea's coming out in the holiday season.
What do you want to do?
You know, what do I want to do? I've always wanted to tell stories. I've always wanted to tell stories with education at the center and at the helm, but trick people into learning something. I like to really lace a really good narrative with information, and not just information, but experiences that expose people to new perspectives.
And so that's what I want to do with TV.
That's what I want to do with any book project that I'm working on.
That's what I want to do.
Like I said, the roots of my self care brand is also based in that.
So that's what I want to do all around. And I see an empire on its way, you.
Know, yes, ma'am, Yes, ma'am.
It's giving, film director, writer, producer. Yeah, you better own it, own it and walk in it. I love that. I love that for you. Do you have anything else you want to ask the neighbors, But we.
Don't have enough time. But I love history.
I love history like I do, and I would sit here and talk to you about history all day long. But I do want to dedicate a full podcast to talking about politics and what we can look forward to going into this next election year.
Yeah.
So, Jenny, I just want to tell you that.
I appreciate you so much for what you do, for what you do because you don't know how many of your videos get shared amongst the young the young people that I mentor and they'll send me because we always send each other books and stuff, but it's always your videos like you check this out, look what she said here look like and.
Young men and young women. Because I think you.
Have a unique voice that for the next decade will be the voice of how we as a as a generation are changing, right, are changing the culture, changing the way we view the world, changing the way we view politics. Yes, and I feel like you're a thought leader in that. So I just want to say thank you, We appreciate you, and we're gonna keep in touch because on the next podcast we have, we're gonna talk.
About we're over here raising four black boys in today's world, which is no easy feat.
You know, it gives me.
I can't speak for the val but it just gives me anxiety, you know, just thinking about this world that we're putting them into.
But what we're very deliberate about.
We even did a travel show on Go USA where we took the boys to Birmingham, Alabama, and we went to the Sixteenth Street Church, and we went to the Rice Museum. And we're very deliberate about making our boys immersing them in history and culture so they know exactly who they are and they know that they're equipped to do all the things because they can do all the things, because why they come from people who've done all the
things given the circumstances. So I'm looking to looking forward to continuing to learn from you and being a sponge and then in turn being a vessel to be able to educate my children. Like you said, the work we're doing now is not We're not going to feel the benefits maybe our generation, but hope we're hoping for generations to come. So I thank you for your work, Lenee. We celebrate you today on that ass podcast.
Let us know. Let everybody know where they can find you, where they can find you.
On the internets at you know, you can get hit to my brand launch at bain by l V dot com.
That's b A N E L what b LV.
I know, you know what, you know what's going.
On over here, So just come by to find out what we're talking about this week.
Amazing much.
We'll be back, all right, girl, take care, all right, So we're back all right. That was a great segment with Lenae. I'm just so impressed by her. I told you that time I met her at the Essence Fest brunch for Target.
It was just a good time.
To me to have the mental fortitude and the awareness to say at twenty five that this is my calling, this is what I need to do, and to actually put forth the effort to get it done.
Having the idea and doing it because people, you know, we meet people that are at forty trying to figure out what they're trying to do, you know, So it's a blessing to know and to execute.
So shout out to our girl LINEE.
We're going to move into listening letters now because we want to hear from y'all, and we will dive right into the first one.
You want to go first, babe, I'll go first. Go for it.
What's up, beautiful people?
Was ah.
I'm such a huge support of you guys. Thank you so much.
AnyWho, how was it for you guys navigating through your relationships so young? Me and my boyfriend have been together since we were seventeen, we are now two. We really don't have anyone who's been together since they were young. What advice do you.
Have, Carol?
Are you new to the show?
We're twelve seasons and talking about this, and you know, if you haven't heard yet, we have a New York Times bestselling books called We over Meet, the Counterintuitive Approach Again and Everything you Want out of Your Relationship Facts, And we literally talk about the inception of Kadeen and Devou because not for nothing, a lot of people see us now and they're just like, I want a relationship like yours, I want a marriage like yours. Like what did y'all do to get to hear? And this is
twenty one years in the making, y'all? So I think a good place to start because this is a loaded question. I mean, we probably can give a cliff notes version of the advice, but we unpack so many things that we talk about in the book because it talks about the meeting of two people who come from similar but also different backgrounds, how our childhood, our parents, our families helped to shape who we were as individuals, and then trying to grow as individuals and as young people.
You've been watching the doc? Oh the doc?
Have you been watching the doc, young lady? Yeah, Love Against the World doc has been on a Patreon. You subscribe to Patreon. That's the bigger ques because all the answers is in the dock and you get the book. You can get the book, putting on your lap and watch the doc while listening to the podcast simultaneously.
There goes references three sources for BAM.
But but if you had to answer the question, ask each other what you need, what you require, and if you love each other, keep working to be there for each other. Don't listen to nobody else. Nobody else's opinions don't matter. Don't try to emulate nobody else. You will never be the valand Kadean. You shouldn't want to be the valand Kadean because the valent Kadeen don't want to be nobody else, and we don't want nobody.
Else to be like us, period.
So talk to each other, young lady, you twenty two, that's your best friend, you his best friend. Y'all get together, collab on what you want life to be like and get it done.
I love that.
See how I did that?
Then that was great.
I just putnotes the book there in about thirty second futes CLI whatever is it, footnotes cliff notes.
I call them footnotes cliff notes.
Of the abbreviated version. But yeah, so I hope that helps this.
But we do unpack a lot on all seriousness in the Doctor, the book and the podcast. I mean, if you listen from season one, and it's crazy to think we had season one. I think Deval and I both said recently that things that we said in season one and two and three we may not even feel the same way.
Now.
A journey, right, you guys can follow the journey of like how we came to be, at least in your eyes through the podcast.
I think it would make sense if you listen to season one all the way through, and then by the time you get to about season nine when we started filming here, you'll see the differences and realizing that being in love with someone means evolving for sure.
So I can't even give you an answer on how to make it.
Be ready for ready, ready to evolve, and be ready for change for sure.
All right on to the next one, hikeating Deval. I love you both, including your family, and I've been watching your video since Rowro was a baby. See blocking Deval to this day, Kadeen, my sister. I'm from Guyana. This question is for you, Okay, say.
What's going on? By it all right?
All throughout all my years of watching and listen to the podcast, I can't help but notice how much your libido from what you shared with us has changed. I remember the podcast episodes where you mentioned that sex was just wasn't just wasn't a priority for you, And now I hear Deval making jokes about how he can't keep you off him, and you make a lot more comments about sex and how enjoyable it is for you.
What has changed? Do you have any advice? I'm young.
My husband and I are twenty seven and we've been together since middle school. He's the greatest husband ever, so sexy, an amazing protector. It's giving me and thank you, and he still gives me butterflies when he comes home from work at the end of the day.
We have one little girl and with a little boy on the way.
He meets all my needs and more, and I wish he could say the same about me, especially when it comes to sex, because it seems that that's what keeps him the happiest when we're intimate and he feels desired by me. Thank you, guys for all that you do. You both are truly role models for us. First of all, says shout out to you and your husband. I love that you can speak so positively about him and the relationship, and that after time has passed, because that's usually what happens.
People feel like things fall off over time. But that you guys are still so immensely into each other and you're making it a priority to prioritize him and what he wants sexually. And like you said, if you've been listening and watching the podcast and even just go reference the last question from season one to season nine to now, things have definitely drastically changed for me. But you also said here that you have a little girl with a
boy on the way. I will say that children, children, It was a big thing for me, and just libido hormones, being in the mood, not being in the mood, feeling like yourself, not feeling like yourself, being fatigued and tired, still being fatigued and tired. It's like something that clicks in a woman when you become a mother that you're just always tired all the time. So these are so many things that I know you're probably battling that I have battled to. Another thing that we've realized that was
a detriment to me was birth control. Birth control also to interrupted.
It affects your libido, your.
Hormones, everything, And you can speak to that devout too, because you've seen a great difference in everything. I mean, I'm still not matching his level of frequency and things like that, but there's definitely been a change in me since getting off of birth control.
Yeah, I mean birth control does what it's supposed to do.
Not only does it eliminature, not eliminate completely, but lessen your chance of getting pregnant, but it also makes you not want.
To have sex as much, Like that's just.
Part of birth control. When Kadeen finally got off birth control, her hormones regulated, and prior to that, the only reason why she was off birth control was to get pregnant. So then when she's getting pregnant, her hormones are not regulated. So it's difficult to have a high libdia libido be into having sex when you're gaining and losing weight and
your hormones are all over the place. It took me and as an older gentleman, to understand what we were going through during that time, because while we were going through it, I didn't have the knowledge I had now. I was under the impression that Kadeen's libido would still say the same, and I didn't know that birth control was going to affect it, children were going to affect it,
affected fatigue was going to affect it. Now that I'm older, what I do is make sure that my wife has the necessary space she needs to get the rest she needs during the day so that she can bust it wide open in the nighttime when you get it.
So it's both sides, you know.
I feel like women have to do a job a better job of understanding their own bodies. Men have to do a better job of understanding your wife's bodies, especially when they're going through pregnancy, postpartum, pre natal, and also
understanding fatigue. So if we as a collection of humans learn to understand a woman's bodies better, sex can be way more enjoyable because then you'll understand why things are happening and you won't take it on yourself as I'm not desirable that's why she's not in a mood, because that's typically what happens. Men would feel like we internalize it just a lot like you guys internalize it when your woman is not into you, or she keeps rejecting you, or she keeps turning you down.
Is it then becomes what's wrong with me?
And a lot of the times when I watch from guys who say what's wrong with me, is they look for an outlet to prove to themselves that there's nothing wrong with them, so they'll they'll cheat, or they just get depressed and be like, something is wrong with me?
And then you know, experience, I thought that, I was like, what the fuck is wrong with me? Like?
I work out all the time, I make good money, I try to stay young. I compliment my wife, like what is wrong with me that she can't you know, she doesn't want to be with me like that? And then she got her birth control and then I gotta resected me, and then it was a rat because now I'll be feeling tugs and grabs and rubs and I'm like, yo, I'm like where did this come from?
She'd be like I don't need now.
You know what I'm saying once she approach forty that it's like, you know, take off at T minus about six weeks.
Can we push your birthday up? We can push it up to about tomorrow. You know what I'm saying. If you turn forty tomorrow.
You know what I'm saying, I'm off ahead. Starts.
I'm off ahead, so you can start right now.
And on that note, if you'd like to be featured as a listener letter, How uncomfortable are y'all?
Like?
I want to know at this point, we're like a family unit. I feel like we're twelve.
Seasons in y'all U comfortable?
I'm talking about like y'all listening. I'm like, you guys are probably just like that's the valle be in the value.
Let me, Josh, Josh say't not comfortable. You Let me tell a whole story about you sucking dick. When my mother was in the freaking audience and didn't even tell.
Me, I didn't realize that she was there.
Like they said your parents were going to come back, I didn't know they actually really came. Like we kind of told our parents not to come to our shows.
It's a wrap now with comfort level. If I could tell a story about my wife's dick, and my mother could be there laughing. I don't care what anybody else. Still, I'm sorry, Okay, my mom is laughing. So y'all to deal with this.
Your dad's been a lot happier lately.
Maybe they don't even I don't even want to think about it. I don't even know how we got here. I don't even know how we got here.
Yo, Scoop be hopping around this house to be flying on the play.
If you like to be a featured as a listener letter, email us at dead Ass.
I'm not doing I'm not going there with you. I'm not going in with you. My mom and my post is off limits.
It's just what it is.
It's not that. It's not that it is. So let's talking about your mother, thank you. And if we're gonna.
Do that, so at least the house big enough.
If they didn't, can we not?
Can we just skip?
Can we skip this all together? Like I'm done? I am so done with this whole conversation right now.
You were starting to read my.
Tag because you keep talking about my mother.
Okay, if you if you like to be featured as one of our listening letters, email us at deadass Advice at gmail dot com.
That's d E A d A S S A d V I c E at gmail dot com.
Stop laughing, Josh, stop laughing, Matt, stop laughing. All right, my mom is a saint.
Okay.
I was born through immaculate conception. Remember Jesus, how Jesus is born. I was born the same way I could walk on water.
If you want to see me, it's water in here. You want to see me walk on it, walk on, have a seat.
That's not religious to say Jesus call me the Viesus.
You're joking.
I'm joking because now people are going to take that clip of devout saying he's Jesus, just to be sure, just to be sure, lift lifted at whatever it was, it was a joke. I don't believe I'm Jesus. Okay, Moses, no, share you moment the truth. Please, this this whole thing went left far less and it happened when you talked about my mother.
Nobody be trying to involve your mother. Nothing.
So I hope that helps you sys to tie up that listener letter and moment of truth time.
Getting back to what did we talk about to oh, Lenae, we had so.
You don't even know where your mind is.
She was a great guest.
What do you have to say to the folks as your moment of truth as we talk about staying in breast on social and political issues and all that good stuff.
This is my moment of truth. This is something that she she brought up, Leannae bored. I'm wont to say she Leannee brought up, which I think made the most sense. We presented ourselves as entertainers first, so people were coming to us for an escape, which I completely respect and understand because based on we talked about celebrity decorum, people don't necessarily want to hear from their entertainers when it
comes about politics. That doesn't mean that we don't have a responsibility, but don't expect people to want to hear it if that's not how that you were presented to them.
Yes, which I understand, but that also leads me to this.
People like Lenae are needed, are needed, because there are plenty of uninformed and misinformed people who, if they didn't come across Lenae's page, would not understand what's going on in the very world we live in. Absolutely and it's a shame that everyone has to resort to social media to get information.
But that's where we are right now. Okay.
Before social media was TV okay, and that doesn't make TV any better. And before that it was books. Yeah, so right now social media is the thing. And I want to applaud Linnee for being twenty five, twenty eight, but being twenty five and being convicted with the idea that she has to spread information that she knows, but finding a very entertaining way to spread love and spread facts.
You took all the moments of truth because that was definitely gonna be mine. I love that.
Oh well, then you can piggyback, go over for go ahead.
Yeah, no, go for it. Did you want to finish your thought?
Oh yeah, no, I'm just saying my moment of truth is that sometimes you have to drown out the noise and find the outlets that make information digestible for you. And I love that she takes the approach of poetry. She's in her parking lot, like she said, you're scrolling through it, You're just like, why is this girl sitting an empty parking lot? It kind of brings you in. And then when you listen to her speak how eloquent she is, and how informed she is and how thorough
she is with her information. You can't help but to first admire her but then actually learn something. And I love avenues like that because we have a choice with what we consume, So why not choose a choice, Choose a platform that you know you're going to get good information and the delivery is always on point. So shout out to let Lyney. Hope you guys follow her on
parking Lot pimp and on Tongue Tied today. Hope you guys follow her on Parking Lot, Pimpin and all that good stuff and continue to follow us.
If you have not joined.
Patreon yet, get on there. The documentary is live and underway. I am so excited about how everything came together. I hope you guys have been watching and enjoying. If you haven't yet, joined Patreon to see exclusive dead Ass podcast content as well, and you can find us on social media.
You can find us on dead Ass the Podcast. I'm Kadeen, I am and.
I am Devout.
And if you're listening on Apple podcasts, be sure to rate, review and subscribe and all. Oh, make sure you get your tickets to Love Against the world tour VIP is sold out, but we have a lot of good seats left. I think we're probably at about over fifty percent capacity at this point, and we still have cities about three more months left. So hey, get your tickets because I don't want to hear nobody hit me up around January.
Talking about your team facts. Oh this is the last thing I'm gonna say.
Man, don't don't be emailing at and people on the team telling them to get you in, to sneak you into the VIP.
That's not how it works. It's not And if you're.
Going to be their VIP, make sure you bring your books. If you don't have a copy, it's we over me. The counterintuitive approach to getting everything you want out of your relationship available everywhere.
Come on physical copies and audio.
It's holiday time, so listen, get your friend, get your boo tickets to the show. That's a great holiday gift. I think, Yes, couple it with the book.
You got a whole little bundled deal going on.
Yes, and last, but not least, remember this. My mom is a virgin and I'm here from Maculate Conception.
Dead Ask God, Dead Ass is.
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