Nail Polish or Nah?

The intersection between fashion and sexuality cannot be convoluted.

Dead ass. I just want to know if legans are ever going to go out of style, because I'm not trying to give them up ever. In life.

You don't ever have to. They will never go out of style for you. You get all the zebra and cheat the leggings you want, baby, dead ass.

Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm Devoured and we're the Ellis's.

You may know us from posting funny videos.

With our boys and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy.

Wait, I make you need therapy most days. Wow.

Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married.

Yes, sir, we are. We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of Li's most taboo topics, things most folks don't want to talk about through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass is a term that we say every day. So when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. We about to take Billows off to our whole new level.

Dead ass starts right now.

Story time. Okay, I'm gonna take y'all back to nineteen oh wow, Oh no, right, oh wow, don't say it like that. Nineteen ninety eight. It was my eighth grade year, was getting ready to be freshman in high school. I was fifteen, okay, all of my friends had their ears pierced already, so I was like, yo, I want to get my earpiss when I turned fourteen. You know what I'm saying. It's like pops man. You know everybody got the earpiss. Can I get my ear piss? He said

I thought it was a mom saying I ain't no school pitches.

School because school was not having it. And he was just like, yo, yo, so stay with your friends then if you want to. I was like, no, no, no for school. Yeah, your friends pay your bills. And I was just like, but what's the big deal? And he was like, do I got earrings? Your mother got earrings. And I remember saying to him, I say, yeah, but you used to wear them little short ass shorts, them little hot pants, and Mammy used to wear those two.

First of all, when did your father ever hit fit hot pants?

I got pictures. I got pictures of them on the beach, picture them on him and my mother and my mother. My father got on these red them shorts. Couldn't been no longer than.

This, okay, but he had been way younger, because not not recently.

I mean, why would mom want my father have on hot pants in twenty twenty? Said, I don't know history recently. That's what gave me the image. So I had to be clear. The pants would have to be extra hot. They would have to be like furnace pants.

Oh my gosh, super fire pants was his reply.

No. So his reply was what I used to do back in the day don't matter now? And I was just like, how does it not matter now? He says, you're my son, and you're gonna dress like a man.

Pretty much, do as I say, not as I did.

Facts, And it led me to think about something we're gonna talk about today.

And if I probably went ahead and pierced his ears anyway both.

And got in trouble. So on brand for you karaoke time. I'm dedicating this karaoke to my father's my father's generation.

Yes, when you came up with this song, I was like, oh, this is perfect. This is on one of my players. This is my oldiest playlists. Yeah, I will this song gets gainst that work when I be in a car by myself. Yeah, yeah, we should add it to our date night playlist.

We can. I'll fuck with it because this song is from one of my for TV shows. And when I start this first part, you'all gonna know mm hmm. You know. I think back to when we met, the way I used to be, in the cold way I used to act. But more than that, I think about how you changed me with all your love and sensitivity. And you remember when I used to love leave that you used to what what? That's what I used to do and you also do what now? Use and abuse? But then, baby,

Tina Mann' forget your guarantee the Marino.

I'm going to come back to that song. Mm hmmm when we pay these bills, and we'll come back to why I talked. Yes, I picked this song because I almost got into big trouble. Oh man, I had said to my father what I'm about to say to y'all. What I said, y'all gonna be like was a lunatic.

Oh no, your parents didn't pulverize you every day of life.

It was rough. I can eighteen years I was in the house the minute I was going.

They neither for the fact that they come to our house, and that was crazy to me.

They just want to inflict the same wounds. They want to make sure that my kids are doing to me what I did to them. That's really what it is.

Yeah, probably that's they're accurate. All right, let's go pay some bills and we're going to get back with more on this topic today. Stick around.

So mm hmm. Let's talk about this, man.

Let's talk about it.

So it's funny.

Came out thinking of Rick James when we were thinking of a karaoke song, and I thought of Prince.

Oh see you. I wasn't thinking about Rick James. It was trible and Matt who told me Rick James, I was thinking about I turna because just to go back to the story, this was during the nineties, and during the nineties fashion was different. We wore super big clothes. Everybody was sagging like it was a big deal. People. I had corn rolls. I was trying to grow corn rolls. And then my mother was like, you can't braide your

The worst thing you could have said to your father was everybody ears. So then that's completely Oh, I wish one of our boys walking with what everybody else is doing.

Let me tell you something. But when I the minute I said it, but everybody, I didn't even want to finish it because I saw my father's face. And then my mother was not even entertaining it at all. Right, I'm like, you can't tell me everybody doing it, like I'm gonna feel guilty. But then when I actually listened to my parents, I was understanding where they were saying about culture. Right. The thing that bothers me though, was my father was just like y'all, you don't think you soft?

Right.

My aunt Debbie used to keep a bunch of pictures. I had a picture in mind, particularly because my uncle Lee had a Jerry curl.

So let me guess you went all the way over to Andavie's house to get the picture.

Yeah. I went there and I got the picture and I brought it back home. And my father had on short hot pants. In the nineties, if you wore short hot pants, you were considered gay. I was wearing bo to right as on the beach, I'm talking about hi, yes, hi, And then this is my father says. Back then it was different. It was all about the print. Well, about

That is true. The bottom, baby, You see what I'm saying, fitted with no but because my father got no but so with man fitted tight.

You see what I'm saying, bottoms and platform shoes, plat heels. No no, no, no, it was heels. There's a picture of Rick James on if you look up the Fire and Desire picture. Rick James has on full fledged makeup, beads in the front of his bang, his hair comes down, his chest is out, he has on thigh high boots with a heel, and was fucking everybody. Bitch. You know

Nail polish or not trend?

The trend is nail polished enough. I've seen the trend and my answer is always no. And people say, why you're homophobic? And I said, you know why, if I, as a parent, yeah, if I, as a parent don't want my children to wear something, why does it have to be labeled a phobia?

Right?

And I said, to be honest, the first thing I thought of when I saw the black nail polish on these young men, because there are more basketball players, weren't I think, Kate Cunningham. Where is it? There's a young man on the was drafted first overall pick. I can't remember his name, and he he Caleb Williams. There you go, thank you man, Kayleb william paints his nails right. And I think Jayden Daniels paints his nails or Jaden is

Oh growing up, that was definitely face. So when I was in midwo high school, there was actually a group, like several groups that were into that particular attire, and it felt like Halloween every day of the year. But that's just how they dress, yes, and it was you dont think about it. And guys also had their their fingernails pointed painted as well.

They called them the trench coat Mafiah because they were goth. They had the big black boots. So it's like everything you're seeing now, we've seen it already, right, it's just coming back in different arenas.

When I saw the polish initially on like the athletes and stuff, I thought maybe it was something you know, when athletes are teams, like for example, breast cancer month, everyone wears pink socks, so I thought maybe they were doing this as like a thing in solidarity for something, or it was just another way to extend the uniform, so you know, you're wearing colors or something like that.

But that's why having this conversation is important, because when people asked me about it and I said no, the first thing they said it was why are you homophobic? And I was like, how do we get there?

How did we get there?

That's not the first thing I thought of When I saw Caleb Williams nails. He had the picture I say, had on black nails, and I was like, nah, I'm.

Because not all trends like that are related to a particular sexuality either.

And that's what I wanted to talk about because I wanted to bring up what's his name? I wanted to bring up Prince and I wanted to bring up Ike Turner and Michael Jackson and like we just sang his song Rick Jane Ri Jaina. I wanted to bring it up because if those men existed today, everyone would be

Everybody agrees to male or female because as we know, like that literally does not correlate to anything but just trends in general. I think it's important for us as parents to stay up on right, Yes, because trends are.

Going to come and go.

This nail polished era in a year or two maybe a thing of the past. But how important is it for us as parents to just keep on keep up to date with all the trends?

You know? But what you just said is why I wouldn't let my sons do it. Because there was some trends that I wanted to participate in when I was a kid and my parents said no, I couldn't do them. And then now when I look back at the pictures of my friends in them trends, and I'd be like, I'm glad my parents didn't, you know what I'm saying.

I think the biggest thing that I wasn't a very trendy kid. I think that's also too because it took a while for me to come into my own. I went to a elementary school that went from nursery school to eighth grade, so I wore uniforms forever, it felt like, until I was into eighth grade, and then by high school, I finally was able to wear street clothes, and that's what we called it, you know, street clothes at the time, And then I was still trying to figure out how

I was not allowed to do anything with their kids because they gonna sob. But parents, Mom's coming here all the time, were doing all these I thought you would like it, and we're supposed to just be like, Okay, I guess that's okay. That's how we say it. That's exactly how y'all said. Because I cut Jackson's here, and she sobbed. She then went and cut the coldest here without asking me and was like, I didn't think it would be that big a deal.

I literally gave it. I thought it was a trim, and his hair shrunk back down and I was like, oh shit, it's a little shorter.

It's a little shorter. This woman, this woman specifically told me never to cut any of her kids hair again without her permission, and then she went and did the same exact thing to me.

Well, give the context around it. Cody was starting school and his hair was really long, but it was also breaking at the ends, so I had, you know, come to cut his ends, and his hair was damaged, so she had to get rid of the damage ends. And it was Yes, it did come out a.

Little short cut Jackson's here too.

Jackson's hair was not damaged the same way the same way.

You don't care. I don't care the same way you don't care. I don't care.

We're not gonna do this like the whole ultimatus thing and go back and forth.

I don't care. That's fine.

I don't either. Saying that to say, my father went and pierced my ears. So my mother was just like, oh my god, you pierced her ears. So I'm like, y'all pierced my ears as a baby. But because I'm asking to consent to a piercing for myself, they said no, yes, and I just didn't do it. But you paiced your ears anyway, didn't you.

I got both of them, piers, I got you got both at one time. No, Well, they told me that I can get because I argued them down and I made pints. And this is this is why bait team captain, captain, this is why I was able to get one. I brought up to my dad. I said, you know what's funny to me. You talk about all the fashions that I can't wear it because you don't think that it's manly, right, But I just want to point out all the things

At that point, you already had the countdown time where you're like, I only got only two more years in this house, but you have to tough it out. Did they make you take it out?

I had to take both of them out, and I couldn't wear ear rings around them anymore. So if you look at my pictures from sixteen to eighteen, you'll never see me with ear rings in front of my parents because you have to repair some. But no, you I used to do what kids did. I leave the house with no earrings on, and I have my earrings in my pocket, which my parents knew who who. I found out later on that they knew, they knew, but they still,

But I think there is value, like you said, in giving your children the space and the latitude to express how they feel. And this is a good exercise in teaching your children how to advocate for themselves, how to gather their facts, how to be an individual, how to also tell me what tell not tell me what your little friends are doing or whateverone is doing, but tell me why this specifically will impact you. Why do you need to do this, Why is this trend important to you?

And a lot of the young men who I.

See, even on his basketball team or at school, I'm just like, y'all all got the same mattt here.

Well here's the thing, though, right, you don't let him. Matt is here, you wash and condition is here, but here to do it. And this is what's unfair. Because you won't let him matt his hair like everyone else. No one's calling you homophobic. So it's also unfair if a parent doesn't want to let their child fall into every trend that we start to label parents because they

Yeah, it was that's a surefire away as a child if you're if your friend hit you with the what he gonna do or what she gonna do referring to he she is your mother and father.

Baby. Yeah, yeah, it was like now that I reflected on it, like I could have not been here, y'all, Like my parents really don't play. That. They don't play.

That they could have didn't play that that's mine never really let me tell you know, you see it to this day.

Your mother don't play.

She don't play not one game themselves. There was no trend that was worth my life hearing her mouse.

But this is a difference between your mother and my mother. Your mother, well, no, your mother grew up in the country too. My brother grew up in the projects. If I would have came home and didn't respect my mom, my mother would have chopped both my ears off. She would have chopped them off. So you're like like earrings, like earrings. You can't give me your chop my ears off. And it made me walk around with them like this. You know what I'm saying, Like that's what our parents, you should do.

But I do.

I do appreciate the dialogue people are having online about this topic, which is why I felt it was important for us to talk about it. Right, Why is it bothering so many people that young men want to get their nails painted?

Right?

The only reason why it's bothering people is because those people who are bothered can't differentiate between fashion and sexuality, and those people want to convolute young people doing something fashionable with sexuality.

And then label people who are in agreement with Yes, you know, I'm sorry against homo because the track record with nail polishes who typically where is it?

Women? Women? But if we go back far enough, men wore nail polish first, and if we go back to the seventies, with those same group of men we talked about, they wore nail polish, especially guitar players and this. And I'm telling you, like, when the more research I've done on these things, this trend is gonna come up again. I'm not talking about the nail polish. Our sons are going to have sons, right, and there's gonna be something else there, and they're gonna be like, you can't do this,

Our boys won't even do that because they're so like, they're so well versed and accustomed to being accepting. I don't think they would do that today.

No, they wouldn't the same way. I'm not doing it with my sons, but the man friends though, or people there. But I just say that to say, like this whole idea of the ever changing evolution of fashion and how certain things that used to fit certain society on societal norms back then, certain demographics and demographics. As the evolves, people like to keep it where they remember, which is not the case.

Oh man, that's my dad to my dad, will look at Jackson and my brother. You don't want to do more of a man, you know? And I'm like, Dad, you had the ill come over back in the day the borderline had a bob okay that joint father short and dropped right below cut brought yep.

He had the chest with the tack on me, the joint.

With the bell bottoms in his thunderbird, with his platforms. Baby, my father. The way he walked like he had a song playing in his head, probably fire and desire.

He still got the song playing in his head, sure, due I don't know.

Seventies like a mug if you let him. That is a fact. Which of our four boys do you think would want to be the most like on trend or follow the most trends.

I know which one the most on trend one or.

Want to follow the trends.

It would have to be between Jackson and Cairo.

I think Cayro. He came to mind first so far.

But only reason why I don't say Cairo was because when we weren't in leather, Jackson seat leather jacket season and Kyro wanted to wear that leather jacket for every day for two years straight. When we told him it wasn't the season for jackets, he looked at us like, I don't care. So I don't think he's gonna follow trends. Think about that.

You're right, You're right, Yeah, that's.

Jackson, I said more. No, I think Jackson's more because Jackson is more like yo, this is cool, like like Jackson cares about his appearance a lot like Cairo. But Jackson is more like, let me see what my favorite athlete is doing. You know what I'm saying. He got the blonde tips because of Odell Beckham. Even with that, people, are you gonna let your son get blonde tips and I was like, yes, and it was like that's soft. I was like, his favorite athlete that plays football does it.

And then one has nothing to do with the other. There's literally nothing. We have to stop shaming people for that. You know, it's funny. Cazz I was just laughing to myself at Kats don't give a fuck about nothing.

He probably be the least trendy kid ever. Or if he did jump on the trend, he would do it and not give a fuck. Let me tell you what is going to do, because I know, I know, I know he's so much like going to wait till he's sixteen. He's gonna find out the wildest trend that looks the gayest right, and he's gonna do it just to fuck with me and say, I want to see if my dad is honest about this shitty be talking. I swear

The kid looked just like you act. He even has an allergy just like the vel. I've never y'all total side, but I've never had or seen a parent child duo who are identical like the Valance Caz look like him, act like him, walk like him, allergic.

To the same ship, He's all the same stuff. It's like crazy. Let me ask you a question, how would I respond to cash trolling me? You would ignore it? Nope, Nope, you know how I would. I would do the same thing. I'd be like, Yo, that' shit tough, bro, Yo.

If the if the trend was wearing false slashes like women do. That would be like, okay, you remember them times you put my la your lash, I'll put your lashes on. Come put these lashes on.

And I'd be like if I what are we doing? Where did this come from? And I'm like, you see, cads got lashes? All right, he's sucking with me, all right, I gotta put these lashes on because he won't do it just because he sees I'm doing it, because if you didn't ignore him, then he probably go harder. Yeah, but the person for nothing. This is just an example of the fact that life is too short, guys. Life is too short for us to be arguing and debating

You know what I'm saying a lot that our kids are going to have to continue.

To go through and nail polish. It's just not one of them. So yeah, So to be people ask the question would you let your sons with now? It depends, It really really depends if they can if they can give me a reason as to why it makes sense, and I can rock with the reason ahead.

Yeah, I think our general is a lot more willing to you know, explore, tolerate, listen, to be open minded to a lot more than But don't tell me.

It's because someone else is doing it. If you tell me that's the reason why, it's get out my face.

That's a fact. When our nephew got his air pairs and we said to Jackson, I just knew, like once once he got his air pairs, know how close Jackson him are? I was like, oh, he's Jackson gonna want to get his airpairs now? And we asked them just flat out like hey, you know touching just guys ears passed, you know? Are you did you want to do yours? So would you want to do your and Jackson's right now?

Now? Did you say that? I don't think Jackson would be the most trended in because he didn't follow. He didn't follow Aiden.

The only reason the reason I said Cairo was because I think Cairo is the one, like, for example, game day, he want to have on his sleeves and trad and you know what I'm saying, like that's how it's part of a swag, it's part of his persona when he's on the field. So I was wondering if he would be the one for me.

I just, I just I don't want my kids to ever tell me they're doing something because someone else. I don't want my kids to be followers. And I started this. I started to change their mindset a couple of years back. I remember when Jackson, I think I told this story in the podcast too. Jackson was getting ready to go outside and play. We were in California, and I was like, yo, you brush your teeth and he's like, oh, I didn't brush my teeth. And I said, you see, you lost

For me, that's so work it. So with the hair, the hair, you know, my pet peeve. With the hair thing that boys are doing now where the hair gets all maddened and it looks discombobulated and dry and whatever, that was an issue with us. So what I did instead of saying, you look like all these little boys that run around here with the hair out and taking care of blah blah blah. I had a conversation with him one Sunday and I was like, hey, you want

You can have waves.

I said, you can cut your hair off because you've done it before. You look fly with you know your little fade and waves and Daddy do just like that? Great, I said, Or you can keep your hair this length, which I think it's beautiful.

I love your hair.

And I said, all it takes is a little TLC if you really want to wear your hair like this. This is how hair care starts like. It starts with you, conditioning, washing. You know, he's not gonna wear a Bona as much as I've asked him to wear one.

We've reached a happy meeting. You will not wear Bonni okay, so why can't they wear bondes. It's a trend now we'll be wearing it through the airport. It's not a trend I want to follow. Get my son a do rag well do.

But the happy medium that we've reached now he now comes to me. Oh my Sunday, you said, once a week, can you help me detangle my hair? So he'll sit, we'll watch whatever Sunday game is on football, we'll do tangle the hair, I'll condition it deep and then he'll

And he's here now. The macho man dad in me wants to be like, Nah, give him some regular cotton pillowcase, and I want that. I want that that pillowcase count to be low because he needs to be tough. You got my son sleeping on satin sheets.

Pillow case.

Expansive with the satin scrunchy that you put in the middle of his head. You know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna let it rock right right.

I just made some headway with him.

I'm not gonna make it hot at all. But what I'm saying is this is showing maturity because the val A couple of years ago would have burned all of that ship because in my eyes, that's making him soft. And I'm not even talking about homosexuality. I'm just talking about soft soft. So because this is toughness, I'm gonna tell you I hate him. SATSD is what's right now. It's no, it's not only PTSD from that. It's PTSD

That, right, he could tough it out and he could wear you know, he could use brown paper bags.

Let me let me I'm gonna be honest. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something about our son. No, let me tell you some about our son. He is so confident. If someone made fun of him for having that satin thing and all that stuff.

Jackson comebacks be kind of crazy.

He would make them feel so bad and that they would be like, I guess I'll get a satin one too, like he like. He's also not affected by what people say, because remember this kid then went through middle school with glasses and braces, the two things when I was growing up that you don't get.

You do not.

You rather have crooked, fucked up teeth, and you'd rather be blind and a motherfucker walking around school eyes caught like a pistol. Just can you see the value? You rather go through both of those than get picked on in middle school. I watched this confidence with embraces and them glasses, and I care that. I don't think that it matters if that's what we're trying to build. We're trying to build individuals who really don't care. Yeah, I

Get triggered by Yeah, well think about younger devous. You might have been triggered by some of these things younger, but now mature devo at forty.

Yeah, you know, a lot of it is me feeling having the self esteem and confidence in myself that no one can shake or rock me off of. How our parent instilling that my sons so that no one can shake or rock them off of their manlihood. It don't matter, okay, Like this will never happen. But Jackson, you got on the pink skirt. People making fun of you, all right, fight them, make fun of them back, but be who exactly who you are, like you, like, we are not

And everything that we do now we really like we said, like people be like y'all worried about what people have to say. No, no, no, people always going to have something to say.

Yeah.

Yes, they're always going to have something to say yes, So you might as well do what makes you happy back and do what you want anyway back period fat oh man.

Fact, it's this fun episode. All right, y'all.

Let's take a quick break, and we're going to move into listen letters after we get into these ads, be right back, all right, and we are back. You know what's another trend that I'll be trying to stay up on that I just realized. I'm like, shoot, I'm the texting trend. Like all of the acronyms that they have now, I.

Don't even know. Man. Jackson text me one day and I was just like, bro, you butt dobed me. He was like, nah, those are sentences. I was like this, I asked him, I said, Jackson there's no vowels in any of these sentences. And he was like, no, those are acronyms. You got to learn them, I said, Jackson, just call me. I'm not trying to decode this.

Did I'm better if you send me a gift for something so I can at least figure it out. You always give me a context.

Clue, hear me. You always want gifts. I mean, yeah too, But.

Hey, let's get into this first listener letter of the episode. Hey, y'all, the last episode or the latest episode rather not another sex episode was a home run in my book.

People see as much.

As I figure out, y'all tired to talk about sex.

Y'all love what we're talking about it. I told you they because people be going through it and they want to other people's perspective life, you know, and we telling the truth. Niggas be going through it over here too, Like shit.

I am twenty eight years old and married with a one year old. My husband and I have been married for almost six years, and needless to say, and needless to say, my husband and I have an emotional disconnect.

Sorry to hear that.

One of the things that stuck out to me was when you guys spoke about the other person wanting to be more affectionate than the other and how childhood or their upbringing might have played a role in that. You

Caneen's prayer was now I lay me down this sleep I pray.

So from a man's perspective, I guess, without hurting his ego, what would that feel.

Like for you? This is your life, partner, Fuck is ego? Your ego got to be out the door at this point, right, this is clearest day when it comes to sex and people. Right, you as a woman, are asking him not to share and sex with anybody else he wants him to. He wants you to not share sex with anyone else, So

The next level, because in his mind they're already having really great sex.

Because she's doing she's being a kind, thoughtful wife by being what he needs in the moment, even though it's not for her. But she shouldn't have to live her life like that.

My advice to her, because I know that she has a one year old is still being potentially in this postpartum rock rut or trying to get out of it. What I think all women should do post baby, whether you've had one child or you've had four like me, you need to learn your body post baby because a lot of times the things that you enjoyed pre baby

Yeah, because it changes, because it does change.

But having that open conversation, you know, we're always going to be an advocate for that, you know what, especially with your life partner.

You know what I want to say, I think this is very important for people to hear. We don't live in a world where women get to explore sexually.

Right, right, it was really encouraged.

It's never encouraged. It's never right. You're supposed to be virtuous and only have one partner, right, right, So if you live in a world where women don't get a chance to explore themselves sexually. Then we tell women when you when you find a man, you have to make sure that he is satisfied sexually. Right. So there's tons of women who never get a chance to orgasm or never get to focus on themselves. If more women told their husbands right, hey, I've never orgast, No one ever

Use this a mess?

Oh my God. Sometimes that's why I wish I had a daughter, because I would be able to help.

Help her navigate.

Oh man, you share I know before, but I'm thinking about the conversations like, gosh, I gotta have this conversation with.

The kids, and well we may have daughters in law later.

So and be prepared to have those conversations with your daughters absolutely, you know, because I'm going to have them conversations with my sons as a man, you.

Know, like, this is what you gotta do, bro, I want to have great relationships with them when they come along. If that's what our boys want to do, so we'll.

Say, I think you'd be good at Because we had a friend who was this maybe a little bit too much information, but I'm going to share it. We had a friend our same age who was dating a young lady and they kept saying, Okay, we're trying to she want to squirk, trying to find a way to make this squak. So Kay was telling him certain angles and things to do with you know who I'm talking about, and then it came to a point error where they figured it out. Okay, Okay, she did it, she did it.

It was like a new feat for them that day. I'm trying together, right And I was like, hey, i mean try some things, see how it goes.

And they were happy. Oh my god, that was fun. That was hilarious. All right. Number two, Hey Davali Kadeen, thanks you all or thank for all you guys do to pour into our lives. We appreciate you, man, We love you too. I twenty nine female, and my husband twenty nine male, have known each other for over a total of seven years. We've been married for one and a half years and together for five years. We were close friends for two years before that. Our relationship has

Wow, So twenty nine and twenty nine seven years together, so that means that they've been together since they were twenty two, and then it only been married for a year and a half.

Okay, listen, let me and these people twenty I mean, you don't even know who you are at twenty now. That's literally this is normal.

We were eighteen, so they've been together since we were eighteen. Child this is and we've experienced versions of ourselves within those twenty two years that we did not like. Yes, I think my question to her would be, do you, without a doubt, not just love this man, but do you like him as a person? Like is this person your best friend? You know, when people say this is my person, like, I feel like sometimes that doesn't even give enough weight to what I feel like.

For example, you are to me.

We've been able to literally withstand the test of time through so many different things in the course of twenty two years. I know for a fact that there were versions of Kadeen within that twenty two years that you were just like chickencake rocks. Yeah, And there were versions of the val that I was just like, why am I still here? So I don't feel like it necessarily has to be over, but I do understand feeling like, damn, I don't like this person.

Right now. But people have to realize though twenty nine is not super super groown, especially starting at twenty two. I always say this, from fifteen to twenty I thought I knew everything. Twenty to twenty five I knew I knew everything about life. Twenty five to thirty is when I realized I didn't know shit about life the whole time. Then I spent the beginning part of my thirties trying to fix everything so that I don't live in the same funk in my forties. The reason why I'm telling

Guys with fifteen seasons in if you go to season one, two, three, four or five somewhere in between that you're gonna hear versions of Devl and versions of Kadeen that we may not even subscribe to anymore. Absolutely, because that's just life, that's how it works, that's the course of years growth. That's reflecting, that's being honest to the moment that you were in and speaking transparently about how you felt in

I agree, I agree, that's what I'm saying. I don't to me, this one was a simple one. They twenty nine. I get it. They going through it, you know what I'm saying. They're going through the funk of changes. But that happens, especially when you're with someone for a long time.

I think, ask yourself, if your marriage is over tomorrow and you are you able to move on with your life without this person, regardless of what it is. Are you able to move forward? Because I know without a doubt that I am not choosing to move forward with anything unless this.

Man is by my side. Facts same thing here, I'm not going I don't here what's going on. Once you've made that decision, then so then you know, you know, you know, like things are gonna be rough. Like I'm looking at these ages twenty nine, I'm thinking about where I was at twenty nine. Where we were. We were third year in our marriage. We had a hot mess argument, streaming mess back in the apartment.

Twenty nine was a hot mess.

That was twenty fifteen. Yeah, twenty fifteen. We didn't know what we were doing. We were figuring it out. Yeah, so this is the this is the last thing I'm gonna say about this, because she said it's my marriage over. No, because Eve and I thought our marriage was over around that time too, you know, we we literally did. And y'all listened to this podcast. We started the podcast in

Thank you.

Be delivered about having fun with it like I have fun.

Have the conversations, no know what, you can laugh off and then know what it's like. Okay, we can work through this.

You know what I mean.

Good luck to you guys, both of our listening letters today. I really want to see y'all win, really really do and continue to write into us. Y'all, you can be featured as a listener letter if you write into our email. It's dead ass Advice at gmail dot com.

That's d E A D A S S A d V I C E at gmail dot com.

All right, moment of truth time. We're talking about trends. They're talking about nail polish or all well, what are we doing baby? What are we doing with these boys? How are you feeling about these trends?

How do we wrap up today's My message today is for the dads, not just the dads of sons who wouldn't let their kids wear nail polished, but also the dads two sons that would right. Can we stop shaming and judging each other for having a difference of opinion? Right? Like you don't. You don't have to let your children follow every trend to show that you yourself are inclusive

I definitely think so. And speaking of articulating yourself, I think my overarching and takeaway from this episode was trend or not, what your friends are doing or not, whatever the case may be. I need you, as my child, to be able to articulate to me why you are an advocate for this, why you want to do something. Give me the pros and cons. Let me at least feel as though you've done the research on your own to decide that you're making an informed decision about something

I agree with you, baby, sounds good.

All right, y'all, were rounding out season fifteen.

I feel like the season is flying by, but you know we will be back.

Yeah, with future seasons, we will be I'll tell you another moment in true time. I've debated on if fifteen was going to be our last season. You know, we did our last live show. It's the end of the year. I was like, maybe we can hang up that towel doing dead ass. But then I think I bumped into somebody in the Christmas store. Okay, I did go to the Christmas store.

Look at that. You see that I did. Yo, this is crazy. I want you all to see just total manipulation. Kate just told herself by accident reached the look at the hands still here because she realized, oh shit, I told her that I did not go to the Christmas I wasn't going this. Yeah, but I might have made it. I might have made a quick swing by.

Don't act like you don't know, because you be on my life three sixties, following me everywhere.

I do. Be on your life to sisty, that's why you put on the Nauty list. All right, you're trying to get off the NAUGHTI List. You guys some work to do, all right, Well, well, actually I don't do it somewhere, but yeah.

We'll be back with season sixteen y'all at the top of the year, and in the meantime whenever we're on our hiatuses. You can always follow us on Patreon. That's where you're going to see exclusive dead Ass content, the after show, Ellis, family content, BTS, all the things that we have going on. And you can find us on social media at dead Ass, the podcast I Am I Am.

And I Am Devo, And if you're listening on Apple podcasts, be sure to rate, review, subscribe, and lastly pick up that copy of We Over Me, The counterintuitive approach to getting everything you want.

Come on the season, make it a gift, give it to somebody who needs it.

Y'all. Y'all hear these listening letters.

Somebody can benefit from that book, So go ahead and cop the book.

Dead Ass y'all Got dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network and is produced by Dinorapinya and Tribble. Follow the podcast on social media at dead Ass the Podcast and never miss a thing