Live in Philly!

is the term that we say every day. So when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts, the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. We're about to take Phillow Talk to a whole new level. Dead as starts right now. Listen, give yourselves some kudos. We just came home. This crowd right here is by far the best crowd we've got that did Philly three years ago. Yes, it was only about we only had my hundred ship was live the whole time. Yes, Yes, so yo, shout

out to Philly. We love y'all, Philly. Yes, so listen, we told you guys, who's gonna make this about you? Not us? Right, So it's about that time to make this about y'all about to play a little game. All right, you already everybody nervous. Now, look everybody's in there yelling at me, getting the mix right, and they get what the fun? We played our money more now, we say, y'all and everybody like, what's not to look like? Don't pick me please? All right? So we want to get

you guys involved. What we're gonna do now, According to Triple our producer who you meant earlier? Like you do like getting a chance to me? Trible, get trouble around, ye Trible. So Triple Triple is one of the main creators of how the show runs. She came up with karaoke time, we do story time. She's the master mind behind that. On top of that, she's just a really talented writer. Um, she tells Joe, she's just an adult person. So shout out the Triple. Everybody gives you a triple

A round of applause. Trible. So I no Triple had people writing in couple of singles and all that, trying to see who would like to be involved in today's show. So we've selected, or she's selected rather three couples who will be coming to the stage and we will play a little game, be a little situation up here. So I don't believe you know how many dudes in the same enough you should you better not that's happened to me. Like, baby,

I ain't writing about it. Don't worry about it. Ain't I getting up on that June right, all right, So we're not gonna say who it is. I won't give the names that I'm going to read the stories that you guys have submitted, and then if the story sounds familiar, like it's y'all, you're better nudge your man and be like, yo, that's us. We gotta get up. I'm saying, let's go. Let's go, all right, So we have press your contestants number one. We call this pressure because we're gonna push

y'all pressure. Okay. Our love stories started when we met as children. I was eleven and he was twelve. My first crush, first boyfriend, just my older brother's friend. That sounds familiar to anybody, yet that freshet over. You're talking my system. I love you, don't married that, right. We dated for a while and then I moved to another town. He found me again. We dated for a few months and then I moved in. Finally, we saw each other again at six Flags, and we haven't let each other

go since. In no way are we that perfect couple, but we've been able to grow together, to learn from one another, and what's most important to us, we are loyal to one another. We now have two beautiful boys, Brendan Jr. Or b J. Who was now three, in Landon, who is four months. Brendan is the love of Brandon is the love of my life. He is truly my best friend. Where you at? Where where y'all at? The late? That's why you can't do shows in Philly, But I

swear the God bro I sweet. All right, welcome to the stage, y'all, let's go. Nice to meet you, Nice to meet you. Yes, drink because you don't know what to expect. Yes you are not side. All right, y'all can stand right over here, standing right over there us a real comfortable these drinks setting in alright. Couple number two, This is a short one. Here. We are two women who have been living together for eleven years and married for three. We are high school sweethearts. We got together

our senior year of high school. We're currently employed, but also have our own businesses as well kids. Yet we have a dog, godchildren and lots of nieces and nephews. Who's that that's not familiar to anybody? Alright, com raw and less so for the state of time. Just so we can get the bull rolling, I'm gonna introduce the third couple so they can make their way to the station case stamptop two. All right, So we were both both born and raised in the Bronx, and I'm sorry

to hear that, Brooklyn baby all day. We were born and raised in the Bronx and graduated high school in two thousand four together. Unbeknownst to me, Tony was watching me all four years of high school. Tony said, I told you about for me. Come on, damn it. Remember I did this. When we get home, you better not fall asleep in the can. While I wasn't watching watching him because I thought he was a nerd. In two thousand eighteen, he reached out on the face and then

she she was a nerd. Bro Damn Tony. It was a tough one. In two thousand eighteen, he reached out on Facebook after making sure that I was single. At the beginning, I was dubbing him for a while not purposely, but when I realized that he was consistent, I gave him my number. That same night, you spoke on the phone for hours, and every night after that we slept on the phone together. One twenty any team is when

my life changed for the better. In our tober one is when he proposted me our wedding is set for August five. Let's tell us how we're gonna set this up. Couple number one, see triple triple talked about being thick. Now she's gonna come on the stage and just show y'all all the thing, slick, trouble, single y'all. She trying, she trying to get clothes out here. Alright, The New Yorkers was getting in triples ms last night. Billy getting together.

All right, Couple number one, I'm gonna up here. Want to read the rules of the game. Here's how it over. This is your box, right hand pound coming on the two coming on with two rules for no reason. All right,

So each couple, we'll sit back to back. We're staying rather because we don't have seats up here, and they're gonna have a marker and no path with triple are given to them now and I will add ask the women and men questions respectively, allowing them to answer that their spouse would say, so all, you're married or about to be married, at least engaged or something okay, great, perfect.

Each player will write down their answer without consulting with their significant other to see whose partner is best or knows the partner best. Each player will have fifteen seconds to answer, and the timer will go off when the music stops. All right, makes sense, we got five questions. That was time for the pressure. All right, all right, I'm gonna ask questions to the ladies or both of your ladies, y'all can answer, all right now? Before I

ask these questions, there's one rule. Dead Ask podcast is a safe space of no judgment. So it takes a lot to come up here and participate in these games. Do not judge these people while you here, Wait till you go home, an't explain. Let's playdin and I enjoy doing this, doing this type of show because we want people to feel comfortable speaking about their truth and understanding that everybody's story is different. So I don't want you to feel uncomfortable if your truth is something that people

aren't normal, is normal to people it's not fair. Let's normalize be giving grace and being accepting. Deal. Thank you, That's why I love y'all. Question number one, question no, no, yeah, this is for the latest. This is for the ladies. This is for the latest. Let's do it this way since we have you on the side, soever, we're standing, I guess towards the rights. Yes, yes, So I'm going to ask the ladies, and what's your name, ma'am ra? Now ask rock? So as ladies in the Rock's gonna

ask you how many times per week? What your partners say? Y'all have sex? All right? Who's playing that? Work seven days a week? Pens down? Couple number one? When the count a three show everybody? Your answer? One to breathe every day? I smell a cat. I smell a cat. The mic again, okay, so you put the baby. Ain't no judgments here, so y'allocated in every day? She was like, god, damn, all right. We went on the secret come on number two three to what hit it? Stop? Stop cut cat cut,

So that's got me zero. I was very clear. Was I'm not clear? I wasn't, so no, I said, So I said, I was, No, We're gonna were going to the French I said, I was gonna ask the ladies how many times will be would your partners say you have sex? That's what I said. Uh, I never said that, Bro, you're the only one that's Hey, let's take a boat. Who understood what I said? Y'all have a lot of arguments, don't you. He's an eries like you Devalacie. Right, Oh

so you don't know your fault? Yeah, that's like me. It's cool though, it's cool though, I don't know. I don't like to make fault either. I'm I'm allied to take it to the grave. I heard what I heard? Are you with me? So about both of you are answering? But you're thinking about what your spouse are significant other with? Here you go. That's the clarity. That's why I give the directions. But he wants to give the directions. But whatever, here we are here, we are here, we are an

ample opportunity to join, and she ain't saying nothing. You got it all right, So we're gonna give you all three more seconds because y'all still you've seen it already, all right, So y'all'll get on points, all right, covering on the three three to what she said, five times a day, you'll be having sex five times a day. Bro a week a week, A week a week, You'll y'all be having five times a week. What's what's what you do together? Keeping? I need to know the secret?

Do you all want to know the secrets to have sex five times a week? Put me on? Oh, put me on? He said. She said that he cooks for her. That's easy. I'll put waffles in the toadst every day. I was about to say, yo, I would love for you to cook for me every day. Let's see how that work out. All right, let let's try that out for a week and see how it works out. No, you ain't gonna do let's trying for a week, all right. We got this on camera. Everybody on this. We're gonna

try for cook every day for a week. The first time I'm gonna come in our room. I'm not letting down. That's every day anyway, that's every day anyway. Ship. That was just that stage. It's a question number two. So we got the rhythm of how things are going. Now everyone's writing something. We're writing big enough so the audience can see you good. Mr Ariy. Yeah, I'm good, good, good, good,

y'all two over here. Okay, So question number two. If you were riding in the car with your spouse and their mom, who would your spouse want to sit in front? That This is not this is not even a question. There's not even a question. This is a true story. The minute I got engaged, my mother came up to me and said, hey, Tekadine, she can go on the front. That literally, shout out to my mother in law. Your wife always comes first. I'm your mama, understand that. Tell Codina.

So it wasn't even I don't have a way about it. My mom told step back, shout out to Karen. Alright, a couple number two, all right, change it up a bit. Me and me say, period, that's one point in the middle. Who's keeping score? Triple you guys score, keep keeping score too. You're the person that keeps going on spaces, ain't you us? First time? Yeah? I know, coming on with three Okay, okay, a wife in front coming on one, Mom, listen, judgment.

This is the this is the this is the I'm so glad it's happened, right, because we, as a community of people tend to do what judge people don't do things like us. Right, if they both agreed that their mom gonna sit in the front, that's all that matters, you see what I'm saying. So what's your mindset real quick about that? What my mom said in the front and her mom getting the cart in the back, and when my mom getting my just respect for my mom period.

All right, that's a great point because a lot of people don't understand that they're looking at the people's marriage and I can't believe they did that. Well, you don't gotta believe you and ship they went in there. That's all I'm not. Social media make it worse. Social media people we comment on other people's marriages, don't managed all the time me while the marriage your home infloding like a motherfucker in bloating exploring number three. That's on you, baby,

it's question number three. I'm trying to make sure make this public because this is this is inclusivity. It's important, right, inclusive. No, so ladies and right because I can't just say ladies because they're both ladies. Stop laughing. It's not difficult. I'm sorry, I'm trying. You're trying to make it right, Okay, Yeah, with this question directed towards you and the rest of you. He's just gonna starts happing on your shoulder. You answered, if your partner had to give you an A plus

for a certain sex position, what would that sex position be? Yo? Let's listen, man, My wife finds she don't get dressed like this all the time you had to put off for y'all, and you know he's getting the benefits of it, so trust all right, all right, he's talk about coming number three, Yes, coming up to everybody? Got the answer down? Covered up, no cheating, covered up A three, show your answers in three to one, the old no, let shut up? What's about? Right? There? We go? There we go. I

love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I guess he ain't he ain't a nerd? No more, says is he ain't Harry no more? Do it in your back? That's what I'm doing. Hey, baby, sit out, don't you with somebody's gravy? Give you some extra stuff in? I love it. Couple number one in three two reverse cow riding back shots. Yeah, y'all, nsty that's how you got them boys. I know something about that. Two boys. Yeah, if y'allre looking for the boy recipe. Clearly, that's what

it is. Is Is. I happened to uh favor that myself last night. She was excited. Another story. Oh my god, Devo, please spare them. Coming over to three to one. Okay, now I don't trouple out here talking about some talking about getting away. I'm like, what the going on? I came out. We cares, no, no people care? Now the scissors all being good? All right? Number four, If your spouse gave you or your partner gave you a whole pass,

what celebrity would they use it for? So let's have it reversed now, so we'll have the hall pass will be given to with a gentleman and also lex right, yes, okay, so if your spouse give you all pass for any celebrity, who would you piss? All right? What we got going on over here? We got the celebrity who's getting pass too many? Bro? What man? He's says on the paper? I do look at Hooty too. I do. I appreciate it.

Like I said, there's no judgments if it go, I did judge met you' like arguing he are you all the time? Don't? It's like, I'm get on the mirror. Absolutely, I'm looking hard to about absolutely mirror, mirror on the wall. All right, who's giving answers? First? Number one? Turn it Beyonce? He Holly bad and okay, writing everybody he's that he's that holly Berry. But really this one Beyonce? A right.

That's how Ally's arguing, were you on the debate team because if that was on the big team too, were you in the let's be aries thing? Exactly? Exactly? See, you can't win a couple Number two, No one, no past, I'll be what you want. I smell, no role play. Okay, we ain't hall past. Now be whoever you want me to be. Baby like that. I can rock with that. I can rock with that. And that's two times Lexi said she wants some heads. Lexi focused on listening. It's

going down, tot, I want some ask how about that? Right? Do you? Cat? I told you to stop touching here y'all judging? Wait till later at nine o'clock nine, you can touch motherfucker. Meanwhile, he's like, well, learn something new every day? Does your cat? Alright? Alright? And question number five ask questions, so where where are we at? With the score. Who's winning? Right now? She was ready? Four three two alright, four three two alright for the wind.

Now rumber this last question. He needs to take a feet I remember, I don't listen. I don't even need calling I U. This is for both of y'all. Who's I love you first? And where did it happen? Yeah, alright, we're gonna start with coping number two. Let me see your answering three to one, me getting head. It's all on the same paper, y'all trying to preserve trees. You'll could have flipped the page. But it's all right. Every time I seen the page. Just head on your words

to me, because that's a that's obvious sign. Somebody worst into that when it comes to that. All right, me car smoking, They were in the car while y'all smoking tree. All right, they were smoking tree in a car, was right. They could have been smoking cigarettes. They could have been smoken hook up. It couldn't be mass though. No Juanna aka Sweeting's no marijuana. A couple of a couple of number three three to one back, he said me and my shot, you said me on the phone, and let

me wait. But y'all both said me right, See how she came at me. I know who like to argue in this relationship? All right, cheer harries. That's why, that's why, that's why I shout out, my where's all the aries out there? Come get your people, Come get your people? Wait, so me and the shack? Is that? What does that mean in the house? Oh? Did y'all dub it the shack? Or is that like a is that a Philly thing? No, that's just a new thing. Sho. She was shocking up.

That was he was married? Okay, y'all, mama'sn't know y'all was in the and being nasty. All right, But I guess it looks like we have a winner then, based off of the five questions that we asked, oh, true to one. Hearing her on the phone phone every day every day, I think, all right, text phone, I guess we've found a way to do it. Y'all got that couple one around applause, So check this out. We got a little bit of a surprise. There really is no winner,

no loser. The winner and the losers all get drinks on me. So listen for the rest of the night. I got y'all for everybody else, hold that thought. We have so much more to say, but not before we get into these ads. Will be right back, y'all, Reilly, y'all enjoy the game. That's one of my favorite parts of the show because I'm like, you know, it's so interesting to see if couples are in sync what they're thinking about. It's always so funny. So there's a reason

why we played this game, guys. And part of the reason why we played this game is to exercise something about relationships. Right, most couples that we've meant before, who asked this questions and listen to letters or whatever, they always start the question by saying something like, my partner says this or likes this, and other people feel so you end up tailor making your relationship with other people's expectations. And what we're trying to show people is that it

doesn't matter what everybody else feels. If you two are in agreement, that's all that matters. We both put ourselves in the front seat, but the first couple will put their moms in the front seat. And if everybody is happy, why are we arguing about who should be in the front seat in their an agreement? So the game is really just to get you guys are both to understand. It's how you communicate is most important, not what the

final solution is. You know, I love that. So who was written into listener letters before anybody in the audience. You don't have to stay one letter it was you don't want to be embarrassed, but you have Okay, did we ever pick your letter? We have say which one it was? How about this season? Who's been listening to the season so far? Do we have a favorite episode yet? Which one? All the thank y'all discipline? Okay? A lot of people good one at Selling Granny's House that came

on this week. A lot of people in New York like selling Granny's House. I know who got to listen so far, but so listen. We actually decided that we wanted to do a lot more crowd interaction. So we're gonna let you guys ask me questions yes live, so that we can add answer them live. Because we don't want you guys to think that we just sit up here and scripted everything. This is about an honor, an

open space. That's why it's called dead ass. So now is your opportunity if you have a question, raise your hand with trouble all right, and they're gonna be out in the crowd. His hand was up here. I see that soon. Did you get the mic? Say your name a Ques? So this is like live listener letters, Yes, and we will do our best to give a Wesley. Give us your name Wesley, Wesley next Westley. We just wanted to know that he was not a part of the game. He just wants to make sure she did

not submit him. But do you guys ever have a time? Y'all like at each other through y'all don't want to be talking or anything. I told you we don't even phone came out on the stage. She didn't even want to let me jump over the couch. But now you know, I mean we definitely, I mean what couple doesn't. And I feel like if we honestly didn't have those moments, then somebody was not being honest about how they feel. Right, There's not going to be moments where you agree on everything.

We don't. But I feel like Deval and I first and foremost, this is something like best friendship. We gotta here like we're best friends. And I feel like if I cannot be completely honest with him about the way I feel about just anything, then what's the point. I feel like a lot of people nowadays walk around with the facade of who they are, what they expect, um, you know, what they want, and that just makes the things so much more difficult because there's layers that you

didn't have to unpack. And if you're not being completely honest with yourself first and foremost, how can you even be honest with a spouse or a significant other. So I like the deval gives me a same space to feel like I can't express myself because I think at times we don't necessarily feel like we can't express ourselves to our significant other for a plus or reasons. Devil and I actually want to let you guys in on

a little secret that you're hearing here at the show. First, I wasn't even think about that because my mind is so far from that. Um, Dakota is the baby of the family, y'all. Sorry to disupport you, but um, but we're actually writing a book, actually wrote a book, yes, yeah, published in the country, yes, so that we can look

forward to at the top of the new year. Um. And in that book, we really try to just dive into how we as divalin cadenas individuals and how our upbringings, our families, our parents, everything that kind of molded us into being who we were as individuals than impacted us together in our relationship. Um So I say that to say, in those moments where we're at each other's throats, there's so many things to consider and we have to unpack. It's like, why is about in this moment acting this way?

It can be something from his childhood that has been embedded in him or something that he had to deal with as a trauma that I may not know about that we then have to kind of go deeper tone and pack. So we always just try to keep it open line of communication with each other and if you know, like we said, Dad As podcasts our form of therapy you We literally talked through a lot of things with y'all and it's just an open forum where we feel

comfortable with sharing. Because the biggest part about Dead as Podcast is not to preach that we know everything. It's not to give you guys a handbook. We didn't want to have it how to or these are the pillars of how you can have the perfect marriage because that does not exist. But we feel like if you can at least relate. And sometimes it's not even a man and woman thing like oh, you know the husbands are the males in the relationship relate to devol or the

females and the women relate to me. It's a person to person thing. You know, some women be like, yo, I feel condin in that moment, or if some women's men say I feeled about in that moment. We want to be able to just have people feel like, you know what, I can relate to this, This happening within my relationship is not an anomaly. This is something that people go through. And we can't tell you how many

people will roll in. Probably some of you have wroten to us, said d MS emails about how we have helped to impact positively their relationship. We've helped to save their marriage, We've helped to give them a perspective to think about that the event, had more comfortable conversing with their spouse about So just being able to create a space like that four year spouse a very significant other, I think it's probably the utmost important thing. And just

being respectful in those interactions. Yeah, have the question how long have you all been together nine years, so but he did not have been together twenty years, um the first five years I'll say the first five years of my marriage, which would ultimately the first thirteen years of our relationship, and we did not know how to communicate

in each other. And the reason why I say that is because I feel like too often people give up when their relationship when it's early, you know, it's it's a year, when two years and three years in and they're like, I've given this person so much time and they still don't give me. I give up, But I'm here to tell you leave with thirteen years in when it clipped to me how to start being a better husband and then expressing to her what I needed for her to be a better life. So I say that

to that. You know, look at your significant other and said, hey, we've been together, for example, nine years and we still argue this ain't again because it's just part of it. You know, life is long. You know, hopefully everybody he lives to be seventy nine years old. If you think about that nine years, it's only ten percent of your life. You know, will you judge your partner based on what

they do in ten percent of their life. That's unfair because we don't judge our parents our friends like that, so we shouldn't judge out saf you know it's question number two. Hope that helped you out. We got a question of me ask in the hand our real fast. M's like, what's up? Mean? You never get your younger your relationship, that your friend and your environment and take your relationship younger, your friends, people, young relationship. Oh yeah,

we've definitely been there. I remember toos mom the book, y'all are gonna learn a lot about our parents and realize how family the fucking people's relationship serious. And when y'all read the book, you're gonna say damn because being momir was how almost it is. I was almost out. I was like, get your mom's shout out to me. They have an amazing relationship now. But let me tell y'all it was not. It was always like that at all, um,

But I remember to that was mom one time. I always like, I fell asleep upstairs in his sister's room right at cramps. Wasn't feeling well and she was working late and everything. So I felt asleep in her sister's room, not feeling well, and came upstairs and he had I think you had practice or something. You're like really really tired.

So we kind of fell asleep, kind of cross way on the bed, right, very uninten you know, I was in the right, very unattap and we were already fucking so it didn't even matter this like whatever, you know, it was. Yeah, it was kind of like a cross wait thing, like yeah, we weren't even like you know. And I remember her coming and looking in the room and she saw us, and then she went back downstairs. And then uh so that went downstairs, and shortly I think he's like, my mom's want to talk to us.

So I was like, okay about what about? What? Right? So we go downstairs and we're in the kitchen and she's sitting there and she likes pepsi, right, so she has a cannot pepsi and she has a cup of ice and she did we sit down? I was like, yes, Ma, Like wait, seriously, wanna talk about She pops open the canda soda mad dramatic. She's been quiet quiet. It was

on some real Godfather type ship. So she pops over in the Canda solda and she pours it and she's looking at the team look at the fids go down and I'm looking at that and the understand and she pourth a little bit more that she puts a straw in thew she's stirring it, and then she looks up at us and she says, so did I miss the wedding? And I was like, what women married? What's the problem?

Super combative, right, absolutely, So, to keep the long story short, she pretty much was just saying that she was disappointed in the fact that we were in the bed lame together and being a poor example to his sister who was also in the house, and she's ten years younger than the vo, and you know, we had that whole spield evident. You know, she pretty much in that conversation

encouraged us to be individuals. We needed to continue to focus on each other, yes, but spend a little bit more time focusing on ourselves because we didn't know who we were. One thing about Val and I him being I guess the areas and BE being the Sagittarius both firesides. We feel like we know what we know, and we know it all and we aren't trying to hear what nobody else had to say. So when it came down to other people. Listen, I guess they're input in our

relationship or their two cents. We really took it with a great assault and kept it pushing. We knew I didn't even take I didn't need to ship it from the time I was eighteen. No, I'm gonna be honest. From the time I was eighteen, I knew exactly what I'm wanted from my life. Everything you see happening for us now I had. I knew from the time I was young. I remember as early as nineteen eighty nine, I was watching Boys in the Hood. I wasn't supposed to.

I was five years old. I was watching the dough Boys. Say, Yo, you want to see that body. I was watching the whole movie, and I said, damn, Cuba are gonna drink. He was throwing punches in the thing, and I was like, man, I want to match, Like, that's what I wanna do. I watched Bad Boys. A couple of years later, I watched Blue Smith run through the street with his shot over it, and that's what I knew I wanted to do. But outside of just knowing that, I always knew I

wanted to be honest. Men. I just knew it. And the reason why I say that is because if you have a vision for yourself of what you want to be, don't let no money talk you out of here. Just don't. They can't see your vision. If it was their vision, God would have given into them. God gave it to you. So since it's mine and I got something I want. And at the time, the first time we went on the date, the kid was like, what you wanna do? Martin was on TV, as y'all can tell, I love Martin.

I said, don't want to do that. I wanna have my own sitcom. She said to me, so how are we gonna do with it? That's the first day. But on the day the very first time, and that was the first time I told people I wanted to be on TV, and nobody laughed at Like nobody was laughing. She was dead serious about how I was gonna do it. So I gave her my plan and she was like, all right, I know that's that's what's up. But I knew that her being there was part of the plan.

And guess what, y'all, my baby is a working actor. Okay, books from project to project to project. I cannot wait for y'all to see the catalogue of stuff that he's been working on. It's gonna come out the rest of this year and the top of next year. So I'm excited since keep that tunnel vision. But whoever you're with, I know it's particularly hard now in social media agent. I think the advantage to Down and I had was an eighteen and nineteen years old. We didn't have a

lot of that influence, at least the digital influence. But we just knew from early on that this is where it was. And the decision that we made or whenever we talked about internally, was what was gonna happen anyway and everybody else? What does that have to deal with it? Who believes in God? Everybody right? Where does God exist? Where does God exist? Inside? Right? God is in you right? So when you're seeking answers for what's going on with you,

where should you love it? Inside right? This is what God exists. My wife's God is here. If I'm seeking answers for how to deal with my wife, I can't look here. I need to look to my God who look at her God and say, I'm gonna figure that out. And that's just how I handle everything. I'm going against my parents. I'm going against her parents, I'm going against friends. I've done everything, she's done the same thing, and we're still here twenty years deep. So and I love it here.

I love I'm not loving him all right, before you keep going, let's stop for a quick second. We're gonna go pay some bills. We're gonna be right back. So hold that thought. Another question, more questions. Yes, where you at trouble. I've seen some of the bat too, like you had one in the Bat Trouble triple getting her exercise in here. Okay, listen. Yes, I think it's adorable that you guys continuously say that your best friend. Um, but did that level of companionship was that authentic you

or did you have to? So? I think she said we have continue to work on that best friend stuff. I feel like Dvalin had a very unusual spark early on. So we we we met in elementary school actually, and I was eyeing him to like the second third grade, and then I gets third grade. UM ended up seeing him, went to rival high schools. There was always something about him. I think I could just kind of feel his energy. I could feel the charisma. I was always attracted to

that with him. UM, and I feel like from jump we were really really good friends, and I think that's what saved us a lot of the times when it came to those hard moments. So when Wesley asked about bickering, going back and forth, having those really tough times, the thing that saved us was the fact that we're freaking

best friends. Like, we choose to be here. We wake up every single day choosing to be here to work at this and it may be slightly unhealthy, but I feel like we have a bit of a codependency on each other. I mean, to this day, he was filming on campus. He's at Tee Tyler Perry Studios and he's filming. I'm at home with the kids and he's gone for a week and I'm literally counting down the days. So he gets at home, blew up. My body doesn't respond well even when he's not here. UM. So that's something

that I think that we continue to work on though. Um. We have moments where we're you know, we're fighting. We have moments where we're not necessarily in love with each other in the moment, because of course relationships have their ebbs and flows, but I said, Ultimately, the thing that does save us is that friendship and that genuine respect and love that we have for each other. Like that's never gonna go anywhere. I don't think that's ever going anywhere.

To me, is this simple? This is what I learned. Like we were eighteen nineteen. You're experiencing new things in life because you go young, right, So you're in college together, you're going trips for the first time, you drive down to Virginia the first time. All of that stuff heightens the connection. But as you get older and you get married and you have kids, you lose sight of your friend. Right.

Everything I do now is focused on me and a father and a provider, and I make a deliberate decision every day to be like yo yo yo yo yoa that's you. I'm your I'm your husband, you my wife than I am to write and and as a man, sometimes we don't want to have to say that to our women, right because we feel like we nagging. I want my woman to just be present when I needed. I don't want to have to say it. In the first five years of my marriage, I never wanted to

say it because I felt like it wasn't masculine. I felt like I was being soft if I tell my wife like I need my woman now, No, no, I want my woman, which means put the kids to bathe my hate thirty. Go, put on some shorts, pop some popcorn, come out here and watch this movie. Let's just hug and cuddle and talking. Let me tell you what my dreams are for the next five years. I need my friend like that, you know what I'm saying. And a lot of times that leads to dope intimacy. You know

what I'm saying. Like we were talking about our dreams, we get excited about it, like real talk. We had probably one of the best sex sessions we had last night in a long time, because he's still talking about it. Yeah, it was you was doing you was doing some things you do that. It might have been the Flora lags ponytail last night. I don't know what. Let's you drop all the way down to the Okay, baby, we really exciting. Round two? Thank you? Now? Is this tight? Isn't secure?

But I've noticed with us, as we conquered dreams and goals together, it brings us closer. And there's nothing like like seeing something that seems so unattainable and have an apartment and being like, Yo, let's go get that, and then you actually get that, like nobody can take that from you. Like, and that's what's so dope about marriage. Like I hear so many people complain about marriages marriages hard.

Marriage is not hard. It's not hard. All you need in the marriage is to people to work towards serving each other. I said, if one person is looking to serve and the other person isn't, that is hard. But if two people looking to serve, forget it. And I think I mean ex sites of something about dreams and goals and stuff. It's like, we don't just talk about dreams for like the next five, ten and twenty years, Like we have dreams and goals for the day. How

are we going to get through this day? We have more things when we wait up, can we look at each other and we're like, here's the laundry list of things that have to get done for work, for personal, for kids independently, And when we tackle that day head on, and then we recap at the end of the thing, and then we plan for the week, and then you plan for the month. When you have somebody just my comrade over here, we just this. It's us against everything

and everybody, even the kids. So out at the kids do sometimes you really want to do this. It's two of us. Trying means trying knighted, because which kid is gonna try us? The most cases, guys don't give about nothing. Cash straight told me. First of all, he looked just like Devance and you can see why he acts that way, right, Cas, me and Chasm, I'm a fist fight, and I'm not talking about I'm talking about tomorrow, guys. Y'all under story about when I threw the iPad and boom, Guys. I

was looking at the iPad one day it. I said, Cash, didn't I tell you something at the iPad? He said yes. I said, so you're gonna keep looking at the iPad? Yes, so you're not gonna listen to me. No, he didn't blink or nothing. So I tried to threaten him and I snatched the iPad right, and he just did like this. I felt like I was losing, so you tough. You tough follow me walked out to the balcony. I said, he see the iPad right, Sure, he's looking at me

like I don't care. Once he heard Google. I was like, yes, I said, I stopped trying to take your ass, and something came looking at me. I was like, almost lost, baby, I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it. Guy's be giving us a hard tyro on Jackson the top of the steps, like, oh you don't want to did that work? Cayl will be listening. And then he had a sweet wave coming around a week later and be like daddy, that can I get any I think? And who ordered

him a new iPad? No? Yes, you need softy. It's because he looked just like you asked. That's there's more questions out there. Where are you at trouble? We have some damn friend. Okay, Mike work shall that's what we wanted him. I have a question I want to know, then, did you pay any type of issues when he stowed a performance like sexual X exists? Look like I was waiting for somebody to ask that question. Question. Mike was clear as day. Do you know what's funny? I was?

I was like, why is he? Nobody asked that yet? Read? So what's your name is? Is Jimmy? I'm nice to read y'all? So, yes, that is a common thing that I apparently here is an issue with people when it comes to having someone in the industry or spouts in the industry with acting. I think the thing that saves me um is two things right, particularly on sins this shout out to the show. Shout out to Crystal Hazelet,

who plays for TV. Shout out to Crystal. Crystal is probably the most respectful, honest, just pure person that I've met in a very long time, very very and I think that's what helps because she's always looking to me first to be like, Sis, are you okay with this? And we have that relationship without devout involved, and that started very early on. But even if I didn't have that relationship with Crystal, I know what I signed up for, right, my husband an actor. We know how these these networks

do nowadays. It's not like back in the day where you have these sex scenes that are very kind of just you know, very modest. They get it in y'all watch some of these Power of sex scenes. Okay, when he auditioned for Power and that he became Omari Stuntoe, but I was like, you're gonna be doing the sex stuns to ship. We'll learn a trick or two in that choreography and bring that ship back home. Um, but

I know what I signed up for. And me also being in the industry as well, I think it's easier because we have the understanding of what actually is transpiring. It looks really, really real on camera, but it's probably the most unsexy thing to film a sex scene. Yo, let me tell you. Tell them about the process of how things go, so they get a little bit more more in depth. There's an intimacy coordinator, right, so the intimacy coordinating. They coordinate the intimacy. Were just like, hey,

so we're gonna go over the scenes. She pulls out these little gummies that's supposed to be me and Crystal, and she plays the scene with the gunnies. Yeah, like like there's nothing sexy about seeing that. Right then she goes, I wish I had something here. She's like here, Um, this is going to be the patting. This is not the pattern. It's actually two and a half inches thick of patting that goes in between me and goes in between her, and it's cut out inside the thighs so

that when they're filming you can't see it. So there's never any rubbing or touching, but you have to do chemistry scenes before that. So she and I have to kiss before we kiss on camera, because if you don't kiss someone first before you get on camera, it looks awkward. So she's like, are you comfortable, Crystal? Are you comfortable about are we doing tongue of no tongue. Both of us are like, no, tongue cool. So she's like, all right, go ahead, I'm gonna film us. Yeall can see it.

This is Crystal. I'm like, so you gotta do this, Like I don you get paid to do this. I need this. I got four kids. I'm not trying to have this. Is that check clear? Kiss kiss the man please. So we're there for like a fold seven minutes and I'm like, I can't take this ship for more. Okay fast, okay, can you talk to us so we get this money because I talk? She said, Chris, to do what you

gotta do is part of things. No, no, no, no no. So after she got the approval from k that it was okay, she was just like, all right, let's go and do this. But even on top of that, the scenes it'd be cold as a motherfucking there because you can't. You can't be in hot because they don't want you're sweating on camera, so they dropped the temperature. That's automatically not sexy. Right. Then you got the patty right, which

is automatically not sexy. Then they make you put a sock one and they're tired at the top because they don't want your nuts or your your stuff if you come e wet to touch nobody because that's a lawsuit, so you get no blood flow to your joint, right, So there's nothing sexy about that. Then you've got Tyler Perry's big ass telling you, I pick a leg up, pick a leg up, holding like that? Can I get a two shot over there? Hold it devout? That's not

sexy enough to vout, holding higher avout. There's nothing sexy about doing a sex scene. But I'll be getting cussed out on on Instagram from women who will be like, you're sold and I can't believe you get you a man of God and you have a wife and you're doing all these sex scenes and I just ignore it. But I do understand for people who don't understand the process, it looks like I'm just onto great sex with somebody. But her in Crystal have a great relationship, and y'all

know she's the codest god for god mother. Excuse me, she got a man. Man, I can't say. Hold, it's a man is cool. He's an actor as well, so he understands the process. So it's no, he's picking up sticking together, Izzie, I do. It's really not sexy at all. And I mean not to sound a way or anything, but there's something kind of sexy to me about watching him in the sex scene. Anybody remember that blue light in the shower. That's a good story, right. So after that, right,

I was like Wednesday. That blue eight cecil came on a Wednesday, right, And it was before Valentine's Day. We had just moved into our new home. A couple of days before that. I moved across country from California with the boys to meet me because he was still filming, and this is when the pandemic was still happening, so they would locked down for about three weeks filming. So I'm home and I'm just like, damn, my husband's not here. Is the new house I want to celebrate he's not here.

I was expecting him to finish filming on I think the day after Valentine's Day. So that Wednesday before the Blue Light Special came on and I'm watching the two of them in the shower and I was like, okay, all right. So he was just picking them up and flipping it all sorts of stuff and if you haven't

seen it, this on YouTube, so put up. So I was like, okay, So I'm trying to think of a way to make this new house session that we're about to have a moment, right, So I go on Amazon and I bought me a blue light and a lamp for our room, and at that's how we had no furniture in the room. I got an air bed and

the whole sit you makes this set up. And it's funny because I have a little Instagram boomerang I made with him sitting in the shadow and with this blue light around him because he surprised me and came home the day before Valentine's Day, so I wasn't even expecting it. Baby. Not months later, the color Marley Ellis was born and Kristo his godmother. Is that kind of weird that it's from the Blue Lights sex? I guess it kind of maze. We won't tell him that story though, we'll keep that

here safe space, right, no judgment. Yeah, when I was a great question, good question. Another question, are right, brother, because he's do what as what's that Brooklyn's baby? As two cults were different people when y'all first moved there together, what do you think the most important thing was for the both culturally different? Yes, like you've being Jamaican in St. Vincent and him being American? What was the most important thing for you guys understand about the traditions of your

health home? Ah, I mean did you say like that was it was no problems? It was problem? No, No, it wasn't no problem. But you know your problems used to say stuff that I used to know. Oh yeah, no, um as, I don't know if a lot of people don't know. There are a lot of West Indian people in Philadelphia, my island, massive Jamaicans here and in Jamaican's in the house or my fellow all right, but there's always been a little bit of a rivalry between Caribbean Americans,

I mean Caribbeans Americans and also Africans. We actually did a podcast episode in might was such a culture flash. This is a couple of seasons back. So I was at our house one day and her dad and his friends were having a conversation about how lazy American blacks were right, and me, being an eighteen year old American Black, I don't think they expected me to be as outspoken and eloquent about my history because I know history because

my mom made sure a new history. And I just explained to them, like, you can't talk about a cultural people without understanding their history first. For example, you and his his idea was we came here and we were willing to do jobs that you weren't willing to do. And I said, that made me true. But if you understand convict lea saying and mass incarceration, you would understand that American blacks had to put their foot down to

not do jobs because they weren't being compensated. And so when other people from other cultures and not just coming to be and people, they did the same thing with age Americans and Irish Americans. There were so many different immigrants than they brought over to America during reconstruction in order to take place of slavery. American blacks were like, I'm not going to then get back into servitude and what it's called for. People don't know what's called debt servitude.

So after reconstruction, they told Black Americans or African amounts of time, you're free, pull yourselves up by your boots traps and make yourself existent America. You're free now. But then they created a bunch of laws that said that you couldn't work from state to state if he wasn't from that state. Most of these southern blacks trying to go where up northern So since they couldn't go back up north, they went back to the slave owners and said, listen,

I'll work, but I want for a fair wage. The slave owners then said, fine, you'll work for a slave unfair wage, but you don't have housing. So I'm gonna front you the housing. You don't have the holes, the pigs, detractors. I'm gonna front you all of that, and then we'll settle up at the end of the year. At the end of the year. Once the those Africans then said okay, we're all done, I want to conbey it, it was well, you owe me for housing, food, all the work, and

you remained in debt. And then that debt existed to your who children and your children's children, and those children were the people in the sixties you said I'm not doing this ship anymore. Then Caribbeans and Africans and Asians start to migrate oka here and they're saying, well, I'm willing to do those jobs for small wages. So there was a clash there. If you don't understand American history, you start to feel like the other person is your enemy. So for me, I was like, you're not my enemy.

We have to find a way to work together to fight against the actual enemy, which is the system that was created for none of us to survive or exist. And what I learned through that was that you can have intelligent conversations with people if you're willing to be open and honest in real time. Don't get offended. Don't say, oh, you said something to me that's insensitive. That's one thing I'll say. It's only twenty two. People will be so

quick to get offended. How about we just not be offended to say, well, why did you feel it was okay to say that to me? If you can understand why they felt like it was okay, you can educate them on why it's not okay. But if you get offended and then trying to throw a label of hate on someone be getting nowhere. So when you're talking about

different cultures and living with each other. When we got married, there with certain things in her that in her family they wanted for the wedding, certain things in my family. We got through it by having conversations and her parents educated me on things from the Caribbean Coach that I had no idea because in the Caribbean Coach they don't teach Black American history the same way in America. I never I did. An American I had never heard at all, you see what I'm saying. I mean even done on

our own history so many of us. But I had never heard about Marcus Garvey in public school. So we don't know about the struggles of Caribbeans and that come over to America. So all we think as Americans is they're coming to take out you else they think they're better than the Africans, think they're better than us. We as a people have to start educating ourselves on world history so we get better communicate and exists like we do now. Our families, my mom, her mom, my dad,

her dad, my brothers and sisters. You would think we were all just one big collective family because we do everything together. And then all it all happened through communication because in the beginning my mom was like and in just a little history, my mom was part of the first class that was integrated into white schools. That's why

she's so big on teaching me African American history. So for her to hear that someone said African African Americans are lazy, you can imagine how that struck a chord with her. You see what I'm saying, But conversations get through everything. Never be afraid to say how you feel, but also have empathy for someone who's ignorant to what they don't know. Have empathy, you know what I'm saying, and just learn how to learn each other said they up and that low key thinks he's Jamaican too, So

that helps bottle flat broke flat. But he thinks he's Jamaican, y'all, he actually is. We're all dual citizenships, citizens us in the boys looking US and the boys I got all of them, um citizenship to Jamaica. So because I said, have hit the fans up here, we out. I won't be selling coconuts, okay, and brainy here on the corner of the beach. Y'all seen the video I did where K had forgot the hen be got late and we

missed a flight. Oh yah. So I started getting a lot of text measures from people like, Yo, I'm glad you did. That's pick up your wife? Right? I got a d M from guests food you say both boats yes on my line right, I was in a house like happen like it was the greatest. I'm like, he's the fast man in the world, probably outside of Bob Marley. Um, he's probably the most famous Jamaican. I love it. It's about Mary shine up something I guess said. But I

love my Jamaican people. I love my Jamaican people, shot out to Jamaican mask. We gotta dosaka. All the stuff comes from conversation. I think we got talking about down front here. Where's the Nora of Donoran? Is the microphone? Yes? Hi guys, Hey, my name is Brianna. And this is

more so of a romance business related type question. Um, I've been with my boyfriend for eight years, but at your six we started a business together and I just recently learned or he expressed to me that the business is overriding the romance UM and so how do you guys look that switch on and off or just take a falls. He never does, and that's always in business bow and that was a big issue for us as

well too. While I'm grateful for DeVos business acumen and what he's been able to do, particularly with just even our social media presence, and now he's built that up because thank you, thank you, thank you for you to you. We're here because of that. So I understood that he had a vision. But I also too sometimes just missed my friend, like I missed my boyfriend, I missed my husband. I missed that, and he had no he didn't even realize I think in that time that he was not

UM turning off. So the all switch was very important. And the things that I had to do purposely, like sometimes just contacting our manager for example and say Heyden or a block these days because the devot needs a family day or Devot needs to be tuned out, or I would have to say to him like they I'm planning a trip for us to be able to clock out. Another issue that we had within the business side of things is that our processes are very different and how we are able to arrive at the end of a

task for to get things done are completely different. And he used to get on me about me not doing things the way he would have done it, and I would always be like, well, can you let me work through my process and get it done this way because

that's how I work more efficiently. So that took a lot of conversation too, and a lot of him just saying to himself, you know, or saying to me, rather, I'm gonna let you do a thing because you're gonna be effecial efficient and you're gonna be effective of getting

it done. But you're just doing differently than me. Um. So those are the two biggest issues that I think we had is not knowing when to turn it off and when to just be husband and wife, when to be partners, when to be friends and went to be business partners. And then also to just learning how our processes were different with getting tasks done. So that was a big issue for us. Also just not relying on the much of its business that has to come first.

People find time for what's important to them. So when you have a business, and I was so guilty of not being president as a husband you know, like my biggest thing was I provide you got burging bag, you got this, you got that? What you're gonna work? Know? You know how to reckon bage? I want said that, what's the baggage you just got? What was the bag you just got? I don't know who was some kind

of back No, it don't even matter. Thing was my thing was you get so much stuff from me working, and then with the time for me to work, you complain. But then I had to realize she's not asking for all of this stuff. I'm getting her the stuff because I'm trying to prove to everybody else that I'm a good husband, when realistically, my wife wants me to prove to her that I'm a good husband by doing the things she's required. You see what I'm saying. So I learned how to be a service to her and not

be a service to myself for other people. Woman. And that comes to you. I said a lot of ego. You know, I was in my twenties and you know, early thirties, and yeah, I'm let me tell you, man,

being a man being a woman is difficult. I'm not trying to discredit either one, but trying to be self made in America and coming from nothing, you always feel this pressure of having to provide for someone, you know what I'm saying, Like there's no man that can walk around just broke and feel like I'm a catch because I look good, you know what I'm saying. Or I'm a catch because I can fuck like men can't say that. Men. You you only loved conditionally, right, Women only love you

if you can provide something for them. So there was a lot of pressure. But my issue was I wasn't providing her what she needed, and I thought I was supposed to be providing her what I thought everybody else needed. But that goes back to what we said in the first one. So once I realized that, I realized that I have to make time to always give my wife

what she needs. And the crazy part about it is the more I gave her what she needs, the more she gave me what I need and I was able to go about and get what we needed, you know what I'm saying. So it was it just worn't hailing here. That's how it is. You take care of me and I take care of us. Right, take care of me and take care of us. We're running it's nine, but I want to do this exercise that I do for myself in the morning from my wife. We do this

together and to participate for all boys. I asked that everybody stand up. That's your knees. Damn. I thought it was just me. No judgment. We can no. I was relating to them because my listen. I asked it. Everyone just close your eyes for a second. All right. I want you to think about your wildest dream. Go somewhere that you never thought you go, making more money than you ever thought you made, meeting the man or the woman of your dreams. Have as many keys as you want.

And I want you, in this moment to realize that if you can see it, God put that vision in you, because it's already happened. All you have to do is claiming. I'll be honest. We don't say goodbye in Ellis household. We go to Ellis goodbye because we know we're gonna see you later, right, But we do as we say Elis goodbye. We go three to one, we give you two paths on the chest, and we say peace. All right, so we're gonna give you all Ellis goodbye. Before we

look at that beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Look at y'all, So everybody, we're gonna do the ellis goodbye on three one two three. Dead As is a production of Hard Media podcast Network and is produced by Dinorapinia and Triple Follow the podcast on social media at dead as, the podcasts and never miss a Thing.