Live In Houston!

every day. So when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Were about to take Philows off to a whole new level. Dead ass starts right now. The music, the music, right now, Cut it, dud, These beautiful faces up here tonight. Stop. What's up before we get started? Okay, what we got? We got some news for y'all. No, she is not pregnant. Man, y'all be one people to have babies. Listen. We done. We don't

have no more kids. But I will say this, who loves the Ellis's who bought that copy of We Over Me? We over me. WHOA From now on, From now on, when you talk about the Ellis's, make sure you introduce us as New York Times best selling offers the Ellis's. Yes, we just don go twenty minutes ago that we made the list time. No listen, y'all, y'all have no idea, Like I almost didn't even know how to come out here.

We got this news before we left the hotel, and we were literally shaking, crying, rying, laughing, I mean screaming. I was that big screaming. That was literally the val It was literally it was knocking on the door. So you got to calm down, shut up. I am a New York Times best selling author. I can scream in

your hotel part that part. But no, seriously, we want to thank every last one of you because if it wasn't for you who shared our content from the very beginning, from the beginning, Light commented, tell a friend to tell a friend, if it wasn't for you. So this is not just our victory, it's your victory. Gave you yourself. Surround of applause. We love y'all, We appreciate you so much. Thank you. So have a seen maybe have a seat,

have a sea ahead. But let me. We'll get my cards first, because you know, dev I don't know how the show goes. I have to hold it down real quick. Are you value want your cards? You give me my car? Trivile takes time to put these together, so we know what's happening with the show. So who's ever been to a dead ass live show? Anybody here ever been before? You've been here before, Atlana, So you know first man, I don't be using these cards. I just say whatever

I want to say. Gave me having the car. Know what's going on, y'all, it's been quite the day. I have to say yes. But I'm gonna start with story time now for time, I had a whole another story to tell, but I'm not telling that story. So you're just gonna change the show up. I'm changing the show up, all right. Y'all want to hear the story I have before? You want to hear the old story? All right, real quick, I'm gonna tell that the old story. So here's the

crazy part. Me and cadem was arguing before we found out that we was New York Times bestsellers. Swear on everything. I'm in the room, we stay and I can't tell y'all what we're staying. We're staying at a very nice hotel. And I'm out there in the living room, mine in my business because she got her whole blam team in there. I'm trying to find my little corner because you know, gentlemen, we don't get no space, right. I hear baby baby, I'm like, yeah, can you come real quick? So while

run in the bathroom, I'm thinking something's wrong. I run in the bathroom. Sweep, boom, bust my ass. My whole y'all, I'm light skinned, this whole side of my ass, and ship is black and blue. I fell on the marble. Ye, we're coming up, y'all. Our bathroom in the hotel got marble floors. I just I said, got shit tripped me out. Shit tripped me out. I was like, oh, I don't play for all of this ship. And it was like you all right, Well, it's a far cry from the

ram In. Remember Virginia, I used to take cut That's another story I used to take on vacations in college. We stayed at the Ramata, right, but there was no a da at the end of the lights was out, so it just said ram In and she looked right at me, and I was like, it's fitting, ain't it. That's all he was doing on that trip. Anyway, we was in college. That's what you do when you go away on college. So I fall right, boom, busting my ship. Right. First thing I do when I fall, I go damn.

She looked at me. I'm waiting for sympathy for my wife, right, she donna go damn. I said, what happened? She was like, you ain't see the water? I said, tom Mount, tom Mount, First of all, I deserve an apology. She goes for what you called me in here? You couldn't tell me the floor was wet. No, lie, gentlemen, we know how we talked about accountability. No accountability. Her words were, you didn't hear the shower running? No, no, MoMA wasn't. She goes,

you didn't hear the water running? I say, because I'm on the ground still, I go, I did hear the water running, right, but I thought it was a shower. She goes, that sounds like a you problem. I said, how did the water get on the floor? She says, you see me in a bathtub trying to get the conditioner out. My heir That's why I called you, because I was missing and it was getting on the floor. So I said, why couldn't you say, hey, babe, I need help, be careful, the floor is wet. That's too

many words, That's what she said to me. That's too many words. I'm not talking to the kids. That's a lot. That's a lot. I'm under the stress. I'm trying to wash my hair out. The girl ready to start makeup. Like, come on, bro, gentlemen, does that sound like a lot of words? No? No, right, So now I get up. I'm bit. We're split. I'm like, you couldn't say that. She then says to me, when you heard the water running, you couldn't tell a difference between the shower running and

the tub running. I said him, I'm supposed to know the difference, the difference in the acoustics of the water coming from the shower, I said, even if I didn't know, right, Even if I didn't know right, you expect me to before I go into bathroom, go wait a minute. The water is running. There may be a chance that my wife may be ginning the conditioning rider here and spring the water all over the floor. Let me calm down and going slowly. She goes, yes, yes, do you know

who you married? Bro? So then I go, so, you're really not gonna apologize? She lows no. I say, fuck you're here, then walk like the bathroom. And the reason why I'm telling you this story is because yes, we wrote a New York Times best selling book, but niggas still be arguing in here, still be arguing, y'all. So outside, I sit on the bed. Right, This is how Codeine apologizes. After my legs are bruised up. She comes in the room.

She sits on my lap. She sits on my lap, and she starts rubbing the inside of my thigh, and I go, that's not what hurts. She says, I know, how am I supposed to stay mad at that? You can't? And I didn't, And then all I do I just I suck it up. At that point pause, she ended up sucking it up. But I don't love it. Pee out here telling my business and these he was the streets, and now I don't appreciate you, okay, but he's right, though,

he's right. So guys, wasn't it worth it? Okay? Y'all wanted to be like, yeah the bah, yeah yeah, She didn't hunt. It was worth it. You are right now. We'll see tomorrow my my hit fucked up? Y'all know how typically I'll be running out. I'll be like, yeah that nope. I wanted to take that big stuff out that door, and my hip said no, sir, let me walk my black eyes up this stage because if I'm falling on the other side, it's a rap. At our big age, we can't be falling. Nohow right, I'm twenty five.

Good job, I'm still a small age, all right, y'all. So who listens to the actual dead Ass podcast? Yeah? I love that. Anybody have a favorite episode so far? You can be this season or another season. What's your favorite? So that's a lot of classes. That was a couple of season identity. Anybody else got a favorite episode? And having more kids? Well right, definitely one. So I'll fix this. The mic in the back hair, now, y'all watch it. Make sure you don't violate him in front of y'all.

All right, we're all for good TV, but we don't want to make it that good. Then I have to start only fans and then what who's signing up for that? All right? Oh? We got hands people people. There were there were some hands when I mentioned it only fans. What do you think about that? Ellis h huh, it'll it'll be a New York Times for real. So if you know anything about our shows, we like to get

our audience involved. We like y'all to participate. It gets a little interactive, a little improv That's what happens when you end up with two actors on stage. Right. So this time around. In the past we've done kind of like the newly wet game with couples and stuff. So this leg of the tour, first time out here in Texas, we figured me wanted to try. Uh so you want to be on dead ass because according to Trible, we have a lot of people that write into us and say, hey,

how do I get on the podcast? I got stuff to talk about, this stuff that I want to say, right, so this is the perfect opportunity to vet someone trying hardest. You know, don't go on all They called it back to business. Anybody who wanted it back to business? Wings, Yeah, one of those fried pickles or something fried pickles or they got a whole face back out here. Yes, I see baby, go ahead, I love that. You see why

I have to keep them on pace. Right. Oh yeah, let me get must So we're doing a round of so you want to be on dead ass this table right here? Don't be quiet. This case is this table right here? Y'all got y'all first warning? Yes, I got my papers, I looked, I look professional, guys. So we're gonna play a game of elimination, right. Each person that we call on stage will participate in a series of different timed challenges, and one of them will be eliminated

each round. The last person left will be the winner. And tonight's guests can do this no more, no pressure. Leg hurt. My leg hurt. So I'm gonna you're right, no, my leg hurts. Since you're asking, I'm asking now, right, So we're gonna start. I'm gonna introduce. What I'll do is I'll read the bio that the person submitted, and then if you know who you are because you wrote it in and I hope that you know who you are, you can stand up and make your way to the front.

Sounds good, sounds good? All right? So this first contestant is a married mother of two. Her firstborn is now an angel. Sorry to hear that rest in peace to your baby, having lost their battle with long agenesis. After having her second child, I'll just say the name now. Jasmine battled with postpartum depression as an as many new mothers do. As a guest on Dead, Jasmine hopes to talk about making the hard choice to have to have another child, knowing the challenges that may come with it

to everybody. Rep Jasmine in Love walks up big, all right, So our next contestant, if you will, is a third grade teacher who just celebrated her four year wedding anniversary

with her husband Marcus on Valentine's Day. While Marcus and Catherine don't have any children yet, they struggle to find the balance between managing no She running up, She ain't even hear the rest of the she ain't even hear the rest of her arson hobbies, making time for each other and the guest on dead Ass, Catherine hopes to help other couples who are dealing with the same thing. Give it up for gatheringall. I just want you to remember some of your students parents may be in this audience.

She said, I'm off duty. I'm off duty. She said, fuck them kids. She even clocked out y'all. That's about teacher. That's how teachers be. That's how teachers beat against you. Shout out to all the teachers, any other teachers in the building, ya yo, shout out to teachers. Man, teachers, y'all, y'all are underpaid. Got any more people in y'all corner. I got four kids at home. I'll be hating all

of them. Motherfucker's my career clock. I can't imagine having thirty kids in the same at the same Everybody sit up and parents. The parents be worse than the damn kids. That's a fact. That's a fact. And you know, y'all know I used to want to mentor ship program right right, So I dealt with a lot of kids. One of my kids, he's no longer a kid, he's a grown man, right well, two of them. One of them is Roger right here, out to Roger. Roger, he tutors Jackson. Yes,

that's the don't want to say, sill. I've been trying to take serious since he was eleven years oldies, since they were like, ye say so, my god, Ta Sial used to be a pain in the ass. Oh, I'm surprised he here. I used to scream at Taysion. We've been through a lot. We didn't been through a lot, say said, but he's here, which means that what I left the mark right, Because as educators and mentors, that's all we want to do, keep them alive and make

them productive members of society. And with these two, that's exactly what they've done. So give them two young men around them. Applause. Yes, all right, we got two more contestants coming up here. Our next contestant is a confidence coach, whose mission is to champion others to develop the mindsets, habits, and skills necessary to live out their purpose nience. Because y'all like, I don't know the confidence coaches, well, hopefully

she'll tell him. We're gonna find out as I don't know either, Can I Can I read the rest of it? Why why I need the cars? Let me get my card as a guest on dead ass, She hopes to empower our audience to attract the love and let the lives that they want by leading with humility and strengthening their interpersonal relationships. Ariasa, before we go on and on, Aresa, you have to let us know what a confidence coach does. Who who was laughing first because I was walking up

at her. I don't be snitching. Was as a confidence coach. My mission, like she said, is instill the rights of confidence in other people by way a passion love or a petitioner relationship. So I have all y'all developed the mindset, habits and skills you need to be your best self and live out your purpose with confidence. Tell me period, period and if you don't shit, that's for me. I call Theresa. What you say? What'd you say? A Resa? Go hand with that for me? Please, thank you for

coming up a resay the game. Yeah, your parents got real interested with the spelling here. We were in the back, like, so how exactly do we spell us pronounce this? But it's a beautiful name, So thank you for being here. Coach rees with a never known another car that was on another carnal, exactly the one that you don't have. You're stealing cars. That's why I didn't know. That's your second stripe. That's your second stripe down her hair. You

got one morning and that's it all right. And our last and final contestant today says that she thinks that she's our twin. Hailing from Brooklyn, anybody else from Brooklyn and a half yo yo us Brooklyn has we get obnoxious real fast. Yes, you're all right now. Hailing from Brooklyn, Veronica has been envious of all the Dead Ass shows that she's missed in New York. She's been married for

ten years and has two beautiful children. As a guest on Dead Ass, Veronica hopes to share what the similarities between her life and ours have meant to her. This stage is a little tighter than anybody else that's back here. She said, you're gonna have to move over. There's no more stage left, all right. So we have three rounds to this game. Y'all right. Trevil has really, you know,

turned it up a notch the first round. Here are the instructions, okay, and we're gonna have kind of like a buzzer situation so the audience can tell us who raises their hand first to answer. So this is called check your Connection. Since we started recording the podcast at home, we can't always record with guests in person, so we use video chats to ducked interviews. Sometimes our internet connection may not be strong and when we speak some words they get cut off. But in order to keep the

interview running smoothly. We have used context clues to get and guess what's been said. In this challenge. We will give you a sentence with some missing pieces. You have one chance to fill in the blanks and to keep the interview rolling and in out of Black History Month. All of these questions are going somebody clap? Can you please clap? A Black History Month? Thank you? A lot of good shit happened in this Black History Month, for sure.

All of these questions will be about black culture. All right, So we have number one and you can raise your hands as soon as I finish the statement. If they know it, then okay. Ready. His mama named him blank, so I'm a call him blank. Who was it? Who was it? Was? It? Was it? One or two? Here we go. His mama Nadim Rocky, So I'm gonna call him rock. What movie was you watching? Womp womp wamp. It's a movie? Yes, famous clues from a movie. One more time? One more time. His mama named him blank,

So I'm gonna call him blank. His mama and I'm blank. I'm gonna call him blank. Come into America. His mama named him curse. Who's mama named him so I'm gonna call come on, America. I'm into America. He just found the at all right, so nobody gets a point, all right, Now, nobody gets to listen. If I feel like some black cards are gonna get revoked tonight, what y'all think? Yeah, I'm gonna help them out. I'm gonna help this alright. All right, this one is also a movie. He gonna

blank in the blank. Oh my god, Houston, he's gonna knock you out. You had all the confidence in the world when you said that's she's a confidence coach. Duh clues anybody else? Anybody else want to take a try. I'm gonna say it one more time. He gonna blank in the blank. Friday, You're gonna ride in the car? All right, well, listen, listen, listen, you got me. He gonna cry and you get in the car. No, you want to get the mic back. You added a few

extra words in there. Get me because science you're gonna cry to night. God damn it, you happy car. Yes, he gonna cry in the car Friday. You are Millennium. You didn't watch Friday. You barely watch Friday. You teaching people kids? That needs to be a prerequisite to teach my kids. I'm just saying, all right, you want an easy one. What's the easy one? Let me see now, man, y'a all ready, all right, here's the next one. Here's the next nervous. Now make the money, don't blank blank

blank blank, make the money. Don't let the money make you. Yeah, I see you, I see you. You have officially moved on to the next round. Man, that's mad alright right now close the gap, now close all right, now let's go. Y'a all ready. So this one is not a movie, but I need to know that you know the words. Okay, come on blank blank blank blank, don't stop till you get enough? Who was blush? Who was used? No? Stop, don't stop? Come on, don't stop t getting enough? They

don't it, ain't got it stop, don't stop. Te gone gone no yo. The confidence coach did with everybody else. Do the words come up? They don't say none of them words. She said, that is not the word, go ahead, go ahead. Anyone know the actual word though, So it's come on when the force, don't stop, don't stop till you get enough. I didn't got one. That is black history. We talked to him, brother that's black history. You gotta

know that. You know it, all right, all right, this is going to be This is gonna be it to see who moves on moves on a right no pressure. Now you want me to do it? Lift every voice and sing till Earth and heaven ring ring with the harmonies of liberty. Hold on, hold on, hold on, give them a chance. There's no judgment, tiar Wait till they get in the car before you judge people. Don't judge people. Okay, So y'all really cannot judge me. I am from the Bahamas,

so I ain't really learned that. Okay, y'all gotta teach me that one. All right, all right, this one we're gonna do. This is one we're gonna do. We are going to have a quick debate as to who has the best reason for not knowing these words. Stop aside, we've already heard she's from the Bahamas. We need to hear your excuse if this have been outlined. If you submit your questions, you gotta know stuff. I wouldn't have

submitting myself. I thought it would have been you know, some of the questions and all I'm like, if I wouldn't have been prepared. I would have been okay, but I wasn't prepared. You know that makes sense. Now it's up to the crowd. Either we're here or we're here. We're gonna go with Bahamas because the crowd said so, and I don't want no beef. So let's get for a round of applause. Thank you so much. We appreciate you walk this way. And here's the truth, ladies and gentlemen.

It is not easy to get up here in front of all these black people and play these black ass games. All right, So I don't want no what judgments from you. Houston, Okay, as quiet as its capt I probably only knew about twities on here anyway. But it's left every voice and sing to Earth and heaven, rings of liberty. We're gonna rock,

We're gonna rock. Love the foot that the dark past has talked us, so that the present past tell them me something about Yes, sir, two uh huh, give this some lf around of applause, Give ulf around of applause. You know the Black national anthem. That's how it goes, y'all? All right, all right up, and are y'allo's round two? Yes? All right? So this round is called make it makes sense? All right? All right. To be a good podcast guest,

you must have excellent communication skills. You have to be able to get your point across so that many people can understand. And this challenge will ask you a question. Whether you know the correct answer or not, you have to give us an answer that makes sense. Okay. We'll give points to the best answer. The worst answer will be eliminated, and you have fifteen seconds. So everyone gets to answer one question and we're gonna pick the best answers.

So we're looking for the top two. Got it? All right? What happened this? Guys, stay in my ass? What's happening? It's my favorite part of the show right here. Let me tuck this mic back here. Thank you? Got it? Thank you? All right, So we're gonna start with who should we start with? Coach Reese? All right, I'm gonna start with you. So come on, Coach Reese, shed it down for us. I got faith in your coaches, got faith in you. So let's give the best answer now right.

You don't gotta make sense, but it gotta be a good answer. Make it makes sense to us. You are the CEO of a company called Buns, a plenty. What do you sell buns up plenty? Yes, please, let's give us a commercial. Now, are you looking for some buns here? At Buns are Plenty? We got everything that you need to serve hot dog buns. We cover your bun youngs. But regardless, we get it done. Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, buns to get it done, get it done. I love that. Faget fans will make it

dance bones will get it done. I like that one. I like that. I like that all right. Number two, having sex or eating your favorite food? You have to give up one? Which one? And why? Come on? Bahamas? Oh no, okay, I would choose to give up my favorite food because sax is way better than food, period period. I love that. Okay, okay, okay. Number three triple is hilarious. All right, all right, sis, So all of a sudden, right listen up, y'all, we're gonna we're gonna see what

she has to say here. Now, all of a sudden, your face is all over the news. Your friends and family want to know what you did. What do you tell them? See? She came to my house and she was on side of my man. So when I thought it was blah blah blah blah blah because you're not coming to him. I will gladly smile in my mug shot for that one, and I did, thank you. Well there you since fine this educator, ladies and gentlemen, houstince fine, this education back. So we are going to have the

crowd applause. We're gonna have the crowd applause, but I favorites and the least amount of applause is going to have to go home. All right, we're gonna start here. I mean, you don't got to go home. What you give it up for? Jazz man, We got buns of plenty over here, all right, go ahead, and we got thump tea shore all right, Bahamas, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you jas. Everybody give it up for jazz. Yes, like we said, it's not easy to

come up and thank you for coming through. So it's down to the final two. It's the final countdown. Can you remind them what they will win if they win this round? Go ahead and remind the triple what do they win. You'll be tonight's feature guests on the podcast, so you'll get to Yes, you have an interview with de Valin Cadeen. Yes, good time to head, y'all. So

round three roles. All right, this is dead ass trivia and we're gonna be looking for the first one to answer, So y'all will let us know who was the first one to raise their hand to answer. If you are a loyal dead ass listener, you should know the answer to these questions. Once the question is read, you'll have ten seconds to answer. The first player to answer correctly will score one point, and the player would the most points win, right, got it? All right? Question number one,

come to the center, y'all, don't be shy. When we conceived our fourth child, Dakota, When did it happen? And what was conceque? What was Cadeen inspired to do for this extra special moment? Alright, hold on a second. They couldn't hear the question. That's because y'all was screaming. The question was where we conceived our horse child? What was couldeem inspired by? All right? The blue lights? Well you get a point because you got blue rights, Yes, the

blue lights. Yeah, but after everybody else screamed light, y'all got to be quiet, y'allly achievement for people, all right, So that's one that was the Blue Lights. So it happened the day before Valentine's Day, almost two days, almost two years to the dates. Yes, when Devout came home from filming on sets, was filming Sisters and Sisters was on TV? Yes, shout out? Who here watching Sisters? Yes? Yes, yes, Sisters is actually on right now. It's Wednesday, and it's

Wednesday my bed. Y'all know, y'all know, nothing happened, nothing really happened. Do we still know who baby it is? Yet? It ain't mine? Because if it's mine, I'm sending you the Caren House. All right? You Fatima friend for tim a friend? Alright? Question number two? Who dang? I already said both? Whatever? Who is the producer of the show? Say it correctly for an extra point? O trouble a coach confidence just got two points because she said trible

and she said it correctly. Yeah, trouble from our coach confidences. Ub Oh my god, this this next one is so embarrassing. Who remembers the episode for Game Night with Kid Kid Fury from the read anybody remember that in this episode of the Game Night with the legendary podcos podcast host Kid Fury, What embarrassing secret did I tell it was so bad, y'all? And if y'all don't know, don't gonna

look for it. No, listen, you got an accident, you let it go somewhere he wasn't supposed to everywhere else but the toilet. You pooped yourself, You shipped your pans. One thing I'm learning about coach confidence. Coach confidence gonna say whatever she thinking, she's gonna say it with a lot of confidence and have us thinking she know what she's talking about and wrong. Not all right, do y'all want to know what it is? Baby? Tell us? All right,

y'all forget it. We family, right, don't judge me, now, judge me when you get to your cars later. So I was in a pinch. I was still work hands to makeup artists heading to a client's house. Right, my stomach started, all right, So I'm frantic at this point because I'm like, I can't go to this woman's house and take a ship in her toilet. So I got to figure something out. There's no exits, with no McDonald's, nothing I can stop at. I look in the back seat. My mom had a ziplock bag. I am a pause

a ziplock bag. With bobby pins in it that she would take to get her hair done and get her wrap on her dubie. So I says, you know what it's now, We're never So I proceeded to pour the bobby pins out of the bag. I pulled over on the side of an exit where it was very desolate. I opened both car doors because you know, you gotta opened the front and the bag to kind of make a little little triangle joint. Right, you made a little stall, and I took a ship on the side of the

road in the ziploc bag. And I don't know y'all have been there before. Question, question, what did you wipe yourself with? Thank you? Thank you. You're not talking to the top flight security over there, but the inquiring minds want to know what you wiped yourself with. So after I did my thing, I realized there's no tissue inside. So I took my sock off and I wiped my ass with my sock. That's when I knew I had a rider right there. But she told me that story.

I said, we can survive anywhere. Are you willing to do that? And got my little hand sanitizer, got to my client's house wash my hands and every always well in the lands, but I could not function in that state. So, yes, that was an embarrassing moment, y'all that I told y'all about on the podcast. Yes, it stays here. Nobody else gonna listen to it. Yeah, it's on the podcast. Everybody didn't heard it. Everybody that asked got a whole new meaning now that as live as a mother. Sure as

he was there. That's a fact. All right. So this is the last question. You can either catch up or a coach confidence is gonna win? Yes, question number four card, it's our cards. We over me baby, right, Why I gotta be yours? What is Cadine's favorite part of the show. What is Cadeen's favorite part of the show. It's the listener questions, right letters that it's correct, sleister letters. It's my favorite part of the show. Me my mic bankman, you can have a seat, ahead, have a seat. You

welcome to dead ass podcast. Coach Confidence. Everybody give it up a coach confidence, give it up for freeze. So wait, where's your mike? We gotta give you a mic. Oh yeah, but if you're a mic, hello, all right, we're here we go. First question is how did you start listening to dead ass podcast? I was here before the podcast was the podcast? Were talking like backbone baby, maybe one or two YouTube like just you being like like the whole like that before the podcast. That's though, we love

you even more for that. Yeah, we appreciate you. But no, in all honesty, this is the time you want to give you to talk to the people. If you a podcastle you have thirties, you are a podcast, so well, I take the podcast with coaches check me out. I ain't even have to say it. I always want to say, take your time, but she confidently told us go ahead and tell us where we can find you. Yes, yeah, on everything, so on tick talking about coach rees one on YouTube, I'm at you wish coaching on I g

you wish coaching. But the podcast is practiced the podcast with coach es where we fuse research and culture to help you develop the minds of habits and skills you need in order to live out your purpose. With a comment, y'all bet y'all better give it up. Y'all better give it up, but y'all better give it up. I love that. So I can imagine based on your podcast topic and you're saying you, being a confidence coach, you've probably given

people lots of great advice, right, I think? So has there been times when you yourself have maybe gotten not so good advice and not taking it advice? Yeah? Absolutely, I think bad advice. I think you can learn from anybody. So even watching somebody move the wrong way, if you're wise, you can learn from that. So so the reason I asked that if you've ever gotten bad advice because in the book de Val and I, if you guys haven't read it, anybody read the book yet or just started

reading it or in it? Yeah? Good. So the reason I asked that is because the Vale, when we wrote the book, initially said, you know what, we want to give people an insight into our love story. But we didn't necessarily wanted to be a book of how twos or pillars on how to have the perfect relationship because

we felt like we didn't have all the answers. So we decided that we were going to write a book about our love story that could encompass so many different things that people from different walks of life can pull from. So whether you're single, whether you're married, when you're in a relationship, a situationship and entanglement, whatever your situation might

look like. We wanted to make sure that people can get that because what I realized growing up over time, I think he's in a own purpose to at this point, Yeah, let me tell you something. We're gonna fight and shook what we realized over time. Just even through writing our book, we're just looking at a recap of our childhood and how it got us to be who we are today.

That we didn't receive a lot of conversations from family members about how to do adulting right, how to be a husband, how to be a wife, And in part I was a little bitter as I was growing up because I felt like man, like nobody was really explaining

these difficult things to me. But in the same breath, I felt like, man, if somebody was to give me advice and the advice just to be some real fucked up advice or someone coming with a jaded, tainted experience of their life, then maybe that too would have been hard for me to kind of absorb. So have you ever bumped into people who are just coming through different walks of life that have been jaded and tainted by bad experiences? How do you pull someone out of that

to be confident. The first thing I always say is get to the route your energy precede you. So if I don't focus on the energy that I'm giving myself, I'm going to permit that onto you every single day. And a lot of times we don't recognize that people are giving us their insecurities, right, can we get some

claps with the that's something true, that's real talk? So if I would say, get to the root, because what you're talking about too can be a little bit of imposter syndrome, right, So a lot of times castle will talk to you from their sense of imposter syndrome. So if you're not getting to the root of who instilled that voice in you, I'm gonna be like, don't do that out of your fear. Don't speak to my vision your fear. Right, So I have to make sure that

I'm clear on what my vision is. Love that. I love that, And I know I'd be joking a lot, but that actually is some really really good advice because so many times, even with Kadine and I, when we used to tell our parents even what our thought process was about what we want to do with our life, our parents used to project their insecurities onto us, and it taught us not to project our insecurities onto our kids. For example, with Kiro, Kiro saw me do a back

flip on YouTube he was five. He said, Daddy, I want to do a backflip. The first thing in my mind was to say, please, don't do that. You're gonna hurt yourself. But I said, you know what, let me not project my fears on him. So I said, bro, go downstairs, find some pillows. In practice. Within three months, Cairo came back to me and said, Daddy watched this and he did a backflip in front of me and Kadeem.

And to be honest, I felt proud as a parent, but I felt proud for him, and I also felt proud for us because it took everything in me not to be like, boy, go sit your ass down, because I I've been there on my parents, So I think that's great, great advice, that awesome. And I just want to take this time because I really do appreciate you.

You allowed us to come up there. We make jokes and stuff like that, but I want to give you thirty seconds to speak to the crowd and give them the best advice you can give them in thirty seconds. The first thing I was say is I believe everybody was born with the purpose on purpose to live out their purpose. One time, you were born with the purpose on purpose to live out your purpose. Okay, so that's the py Your purpose is being doing and becoming being

who you are. Every single one of you right now are living in your purpose. It doesn't always mean being active and in your passions like you right now, we're being in your purpose. The doing right is your passions, their craft, like they are doing their purpose right. That's their passions. How we acted out the becoming is our potential. So I think the gap between who we are and who you want to be the differences. Are you living in your purpose? Are you actively striving to be that person?

And the dopest thing about tomorrow is you get to start over again. Can we get a round of a pose for recently? Thank you so much, Thank you so much. We appreciate your real talk. Yes, thank you so much, Yo, that was some good stuff in all honesty, in all honesty, Reese, thank you so much for your time, your words. I feel like people will walk out of here feeling a little bit better about themselves because they were able to get some information. But this is the part of the

show where we like to hear from you guys. Yes, so more importantly than us telling our story, we kind of want to get a little bit about your stories by hearing you ask questions. This is the listener letter aspect of the show. So I think we have time for what maybe three six? Or we got six questions? Oh? I see one here? Okay, Oh all right, love that the question I have? What we have? How we get the three whole boys? Because we all three whole girls?

Oh so what you gotta do with no? So, based on everything that we've been told by our doctors is that it's a I guess it's a physiological decision. Right, So my boy sperm swim extremely fast. They just be like, just be y'all, y'all heard that, right. The boys swim faster, but they also die quicker, right, and the girls they live longer, but they take longer to get there. So what happens is if she is lubricated, you know what I mean, and my boys is in there, it's always

gonna be a boy. So long story short, you gotta work on the four play bro y'all, make sure that she is well lubricated. If you know what I'm saying, you know what I'm saying. Do you know what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying, do your thing, let it rub on the ball, do a little bit. You know what I'm saying. While you're doing your thing, and then more likely you're gonna have a bullet. Said that the woman has to take control for the boys. Well, that's

accurate too, You damn right. I'd be like, do your thing. That's a damn line, don't know. Kay's favorite position was Kate's favorite position. You know, sorry, it's giving. I'd be doing all the damn work, pumping and sweating, pumping. She'd be back there like, you're not done yet. I'd be like, I'm enjoying myself. Nah, and all honesty. The doctor said, is nothing you can do, bro, doctor said, no, y'all, this this is the true story. We went to the doctor.

I said, Bro, I got three boys, I want a girl. What can I do? Right? The doctor said, listen, we could even take your sperm and her eggs, and there's still a chance that when we put them together, all the embryos be boys. He said, God makes a decision, you can. And the thing is, most people that they're trying to get a certain sex, they'll get fifteen embryos, maybe five will be girls, uh, ten will be boys, and they just pick each other. They want an implant.

But the doctor told us there's no guaranteed way to have a boy a girl. He just said, man, you gotta pray on it. And here's the sad truth. If you have three girls, you're probably gonna have another girl. Because he told us, if we have boys, we're gonna have another. And you see what happened. We had another boy. So it's a blessing. Man. We got boys, y'all got girls. Maybe one day we'll be in laws. You know what

I'm saying. I just know what I'm saying. I understand why people arrange marriages now that I have children, because you can't be raising your kids, yo, how and then expect to come over here. I feel you, Yes, you might be arranging a marriage or too. So we'll see because mother in laws be crazy too. Did y'all read the book? Did y'all se the beef between me and MEMI and the book? Oh they had beef, y'all? Me and Mimi have beef beef. Me and Memi ain't talked

for two years. Yeah, yeah, it was crazy in Brooklyn for a minute. Let we have a question over here. So me and my husband, we've been together for thirteen years. We have two kids. We have a boy and a girl. Yes, shout out to you. I don't have a question, but I just want y'all to just explain to everybody like the importance of like day night, after the kids, after the career, because it gets like really hard, especially because we work together. We literally does, and it's it's like

really hard. He's sleeps he like, who bet he's sleep It ain't hard for me. Yes, yes, this one rya thise ya. He shot, he shot. Don't be shy, bro let me shine side. So Deval and I worked together a lot, right, So most of our businesses are joint. We have the podcast together, do a lot of appearances and things together. And then you throw the four boys into the makes, you throw our individual goals into the makes, You throw us trying to be you know, a buzz

sorry son and daughter to our parents. All that everything gets really really intense really quickly, and we realize that he and I don't do well when we're not connected. So we find time now and we're more deliberate about it. It's finding time to disconnect from everything else so that way we can take even if it's an hour or two to reconnect. And sometimes it's super simple for us.

Like my mom is at the point now where she kind of knows and I'll sometimes give her the nudge, like Mom, Devout, I just need to night, just to kind of decompress. So she'll take the kids and she'll put them the bed downstairs and she'll be like, all right, the house is yours. You know. We have to make sure Memi and Pop are on a different level than us and the other side of the house because they couldn't be below us. But sometimes they couldn't be below us.

But we take it back to the simple things that we enjoy. Like Devout looked at me at one point, I want to say, maybe in October and November of last year, and he almost looked like like he was concerned or something. And I looked at him in the eye and I'm like, what's the matter, And he was like, I just missed my girlfriend, like I miss her whoever she is. And at that point, I'm like, you've never met so many of me. I don't know who I am even today, but I'm gonna trying to find the

girlfriend vibes and bring that back. So we've been much more intentional about doing the little things that used to excite us so much. I mean, I think about sitting in my dorm room when I was in grad school at a cute little apartment on campus, and he would come by. I would make a quick dinner. You know, I was on a budget with a meal plan and everything, so I'd make dinner. He'd come by. You know, everybody was making Alfredo back in the day. Every right tired

of Alfredo. Now I'm tired of Alfredo. Made my little Alfredo dish for him. We sat down watching New York on the cover on TV. Play right, shout out to New York on the cover. They have throwbacks on now if y'all are not, yeah, it's playing now. But we'd watch New York on the cover. We'd have a deck of cards, we sit and play roma together, just like little things like that. We started doing that more lately and doing once a week, just having at least at

the very minimum two together. And that's helped so much because we have so many things coming our way. So yes, date nights are important after the kids. If you have a village around you that you can lean on for support. You don't have a village, no, you gotta jeli is lean on it. Oh, okay, good. So if you have somebody you can lean on to just take the kids

off your hands for a little bit. It's important because in the book too, you'll see we have a chapter that says the kids ain't first, And though that may not be the popular belief, we honestly believe that the kids don't function well if the energy is off in our house. So we got to be on the same page. Yeah, And I'll speak to something that I know worked for me. That which is something that I had to learn, was it's okay for us as men to tell our women

what we want right. And the reason why I say that is because we've been taught as men to not be nags. Don't say nothing if something isn't going the way you like it, we just be quiet. And what happens is resentment builds up and a lot of times we do what then we flash out and then your girls and news like I didn't know all this what's going on, But this has been going on the whole time.

I will be the first to tell you the moment I started to speak honestly with my wife about what I need, what I desired, she made it happen, you know, dead ass. I was like, yo, I like when you used to wear the short shorts and the crop tops and all this other stuff. I walk in, I'll be gone for weeks. You know what she gone on when I walk in the house short shorts and crop times. I told her, I like watching New York under Cover.

I walk in one day. All I hear is but it would have never happened if I didn't say it. And a lot of times we and I say we because I did the same thing. I expect her to figure it out right, like she a mind reader. And I'm like, you know me for all these years, how do you not know that I liked these things? And She's like, I got so much other things to focus on. And I thought I was doing everything right because you

never said anything. So I started to be honest and open with her in real time about what I needed and what I required, and she stepped up to the plate and also I do the same thing. I tell her, tell me what you want, don't expect me to guess and figure it out. I got a lot of stuff going on too, ladies. A lot of times, your your husbands, your boyfriends, your baby falls. They have a lot of stuff going on. And if you don't tell them what's

going on with you, they don't know. And it's not fair for you to be like you supposed to know you my man, he don't know. I've known this woman since she was eighteen. It seemed like every three years she changed shit. I don't be knowing half the time myself real. So I just say that speak honestly to each other and don't be afraid to be judged by your partner just because they tell you what they want. Yeah, and we don't have the time to be guessing shit

no more. I'm like, yo, what do you want tonight? Like? What night? Is it gonna be? Right? So that way we're upfrot about it. We know what it is. It doesn't feel like scheduling per se, but it's more so like, all right, I know we gotta take care of business tonight, so how are we doing it? So I know what I ought to prepare for and we enjoy that. We enjoy that, y'all need I need me a little librarian.

I needed two pig tails. And then she'll be like, it's a safe space, right, She'll be like, going a room, smoky weed. When you come back, I go in there, do what you gotta do. I don't know what click click click click, and she got them heels on and she'd be just like you was looking for a book. I was like, oh yeah, period, yes. Then we jumped

from the intro to the conclusion just like that. Seriously, we are seriously about serving each other in this relationship, like if my wife needs something, I'm near for her. When I need something, I'm not afraid to tell her what I need and she's just like, I got you, baby. And that's how we've been able to keep the fire going and keep date Nights live. So for sure, and talking about service, we talk about that lot on the

lot now on the podcast. We mentioned it in the book as well, because what we've also realized too is that when we when we feel and we see the effort in the reciprocity, right, I'm like, you know, what's about what can I do today to make your plate lighter,

what can I do to help you out today? And he'll let me know, you know, I got this going on that it will help me if you did this by me taking that one thing off of his plate because it's something that I can handle, then in turn, he's freed up to do something for me return, and

that makes it that much easier. So that's a service component, and that's why in the book, for example, our subtitle is the counterintuitive Approach to getting everything you want out of your relationship, because what we're doing is removing the I need to find somebody who's going to complete me, they need to check all these boxes like we typically do when we're looking for relationships, right, But instead, what we've realized is if you come as a whole person

who's happy with who you are and are looking to be of service to someone, then that's more so the approach that worked for us in our relationship. So hopefully that can resonate with some people. Knowing whether you're for a marriage, whether you're not, are you the marriage type or not, you'd luck being single and you're okay being single, that's fine too, But at least hopefully that gives people perspective about knowing further what they want. Yeah, baby, Hi,

how are y'all tonight? What's up? Okay, First of all, I want to say that forgive me because I had no clue who y'all are when I walked through this door. We know who you are. It's okay, thank you. Listen, my friend, I don't know who you are. What's your name? Denira? Nice? Nice to me? Hey, hey girl. If I'm like that, now listen. So my friend came out here from New York. She introduced me to you guys tonight, and I was like, yeah,

let's do it. Let's go. And so you came out and I was like, oh my gosh, she's gorgeous, and what about me? What about me? That's your that's your girl. I'm not listening. I got too much respect, but I was like, wow, she's gorgeous. And you said, you have four boys. I have two kids. How did you gain the confidence back after having kids? Because you're definitely not the same person after having kids. And what did you do to help her gain her confidence back and regain

who she was after being a mother girl. That's a great question. Well, thank you, welcome you better? Well, yeah, that's Um, that's a great question. And I think I'm still trying to figure out who I am. I even just said to my stylists recently, Um, shout out to Sharich. Put me in this beautiful pant suit and these shoes. I'm like, can I even walk in these after four kids? Um? I think it's the pandemic to everybody. Had a problem walking the heels again two years of being locked down.

I ain't wear heels. I'm looking like a whole newborn baby calf some days in these shoes. But um, but for me, uh what because if I'll seeing me walk like that too? I did? I did them first three steps. I was like, whoa, whoa, my hip already fucked up. I can't even help you if you fall ahead. Um. But yes, children have a way of making you feel very unrecognizable, right, Um, from the pregnancy to the postpartum life. That not a lot of people talk about what that

body looks like after the kids. So for me, it was being okay with not being okay with my body again, right because there's so much culture around feeling like you have to embrace the stretch marks and you have to embrace the loose skin, and you have to embrace the balling, and you have to embrace all these things. It's okay to not embrace it. I ain't like that shit, still don't like that ship. My edges are still suffering. I'm surprised Janelle was able to give me these two little

brains here, because baby, the struggle. But what I do feel is that there comes a point when you realize, Okay, I need to get back to something that's recognizable. Right. Like I said, my husband has been my biggest supporter through all this, and it's to the point where sometimes my goals have become his goals too, that he's so invested and he's like, hey, you said you're trying to fit into X y Z, So we're gonna go to

the gym and we're gonna do this together. And you'll see sometimes he'll post on his Instagram page that he's talking about me and my body and my journey because that's his way of helping me stay motivated. And I feel seen, right, I don't feel like someone is just disregarding how I feel. So Devo has really made it a point to just go with me to the gym. You know, he's like, Hey, whatever you gotta eat, I'm gonna eat too, So you're not making two separate meals.

Whatever it looks like for me, it looks like for him. So that's been an amazing journey to be on with him because he so desperately wants me to be happy with myself again talk about it. So thank you, sir. This is a topic that I really love to speak on because after having Jackson. I don't know if will you guys listen to the podcast, but you know, we almost lost k after Jackson. She had to have emergency surgery. She had a lacerated survex, and my wife almost died.

At that point, it became real to me how important childbirth is, especially Black maternal health. Right, So I took it upon myself to learn a lot about black maternal health. And this was the biggest thing. You know, it kills women more than anything else. It's not the stretch marks, it's not the way game, it's sleep deprivation. Listen to this.

This is a study that I found, right, the big the greatest, the most disciplined people in the United States, right Army rangers, Navy seals, marines, all of the most disciplined people, you know what, they take months training training with sleep deprivation. So imagine you have the most disciplined soldier in the world and you got to take months to train him for sleep deprivation. But then you have a woman who has to deal with sleep deprivation, and

we just expect him to come back normal. Right, And here's the thing. Sleep deprivation doesn't doesn't start and stop at any particular time. Codeine and her third trimester couldn't sleep. So that's three months of not sleeping, right, I thought, And I'm going to be honest and transparent here. I thought, as soon as the baby comes out, we get back

to normal. That's what I thought. I was twenty seven when we had our first son, and I was just like, what's the matter, Like why, why are you not back to normal? Why are you not back to yourself? Then I started researching about breastfeeding. Right, if you breastfeed six months to nine months, you wake up every two and a half hours, and during those two hours when you sleep, you don't sleep soundly because you're worried about missing the

baby crying. Right, So now you spend three months pregnant not sleeping, six to nine months, breastfeeding, not sleeping, and then after that your husband is on you like yo, we got to get back to who we were. I started to give my wife grace right and I said, you know what, during this time, whatever you need to help you become sane, I got you. On top of that,

I notice is not a very popular thing. I moved my mother in law in with us, And the reason why I did that is because there's nothing better than watching your wife's sleep and having your mom's mom take care of your children. Because I can't do it the way she does it. But if my mom's mom can come in and grab my son and take them for a few hours so she can get sleep, it allows her to get more energy. It allows her to go back to herself mentally. When she gets back to herself mentally,

you know what that allows her to do. I'm ready to get back in the gym. I'm ready to have sex, I'm ready to start making food. I'm ready to look better. But it takes a sacrifice from us as men to realize what women are going through during that time so that we can be an advocate for them and empower them. It's the truth, no them and about that. I can speak about this now with thirty eight, but at twenty seven I was fucked up in the game. I'll never

forget it was five weeks and four days. I was like, I was like, heaby, as soon as that six week come, I'm ready to get back in the game. And she was looking at me like, bro, I don't got time. And I literally said this to her, right, I literally said this to her. Your mom had kids and worked. My mom had kids, it worked. Why are you acting

like it's such a big deal. And the reason why I'm telling you that is because if you're sitting next to a man who doesn't understand what you're going through, don't treat it as if your man is the worst guy ever. Because that same guy who said that to you is the same guy that's sitting next to her. It took me having to learn and research and understand why I had to give my wife grace because I don't want to sit up here and act like I'm the most profound person. And I had this figured out

at eighteen. I wasn't. I wasn't. I got coached out plenty of times by this one. Right here, y'all think my mouth is bad see postpartum K, postpartum K be letting me have it. And I used to be like, I don't know who you are anymore. You are an alien. I don't want to have no more kids because you create. The first five years of our marriage was a struggle, and we talking about it in the book talk about

it a lot of it too. It was but um to answer your question, I just educated myself on what she needed as a woman, and then I empower her when she needs it. I stopped forcing her to do things she didn't want to do because I thought it was in her best interest. I started asking questions, well, how you feel today? You know what I'm saying. You don't feel like going to the gym. I'm right, let's work out in the house. Can you give me fifteen minutes?

Because realistically, you don't have to do an hour, hour and a half every day to get back in shape. Do fifteen minutes every day. And when I say fifteen minutes, I don't even mean fifteen minutes high intensity. No get up and walk together. We lost out fifteen minutes walk together. Do that every single day and watch how your body changes, watch how your mind changes, and watch how the love grows and the intimacy grows because we talk about sex a lot, but sex is an intimacy to us. Intimacy

is the time we spend together learning each other. How many times we've gone on dates and talked about what our dreams are gonna be. That to me is the intimacy. So when we get back in the house, we've discussed our dreams. So now we're horny because we discuss how we're gonna make this money. You know what I'm saying. You talk money in front of a chick. Money. She's like, oh, yes, daddy, I see bands will make a dance you feel me? So that's how I really got her back to being herself.

Was empowering her, but educating myself on on women's health. For sure. We have another question here? Where are we? Hello? I me my boyfriend. We would make ten years this year. We just I just had a little sun congratulations, thank you? Um, so he says he wants to marry me. So my question is would I be wrong to leave if I don't get my rings? What happened? I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I said congratulations to ten years and I heard murmurs over here. Did I miss something? We'll make ten years

this year. Okay, congratulations on the ten years. I got you on that. But you want to leave? Yes? Would I'd be wrong if I don't get my ring this year? Yes, her hair? No, I can't, I can't. I still can't. I still can't hear what she's saying. They've been together for ten years? Oh wait, wait, wait the friend wants to add something. Hold on, Okay, y'all, they've been dating since they was like what freshman in high school? Okay, maybe in dating for a ten years? Okay, she wants

to get married. She's saying, well, she'd be wrong if he don't propose this year, if she was to leave. And that God, and you said there's a baby, and there's a baby, there's a baby involved? Yes, yo, yo? How old are you? How old are you? How old are you? I'm twenty six, you're twenty six? You twenty six? Are y'all telling her to leave this man? Well? Why are we leaving? Though? Why are we leaving? Can we get some insights? I just feel like at this point,

like am I wasting my time? Like? How much time to be? All right? Y'all? Sorry, y'all I'm about to go ahead because I'm tired of this. Oh no, no, no, let me let me ask a question. Hold on, hold on, let me ask a question. All these women, right, all these women saying saying she should leave when it's time to get engaged, what do you bring? Do you get on your knee and bring a ring? Do you have to spend ten to hold on? Hold on? No, no, no, let me finish, Let me finish. No, no, no, I know,

I gotta say this. My leg don't hurt no more. My leg is good. I'm I'm it was that symbol. Listen, No, this is this is why it is so difficult for me. I am passionate. It is so difficult for men to commit. Right, this is why women women come for And I'll use k as an example. When when when when on hold, when Kay was ready to get married, right, she used to leave rings all over the house that she likes, right, and these rings three, these rings were two and three

carriage right when her sister somebody set period. You know how much a three carried ring costs right now? Thirty thousand dollars minimum for a three carried ring. Right, So you're telling this man, I need to get married right now, you need to go spend thirty thousand dollars on a ring, or on top of that, wait wait wait, wait, no, no, no, let me finish, Let me finish. On top of that, it has to happen with all my friends there. You

gotta fly us to Paris. You gotta get a video prove, you gotta get pictures, which is another thirty to forty thousand dollars, and then you gotta pay for the wedding, because I need a wedding like Kim Kardashian or where it was. So now, what you're telling this young man, no, this is true. What you're telling this young man is that it's gonna cost you sixty seventy thousand dollars to get on the ring and propose to me. And if you don't do that in my time, I'm leaving once again.

Once again. What are you bringing? If he's bringing sixty thousand dollars? Whop, priceless If you ask me, No, nobody ever wants to say that. Nobody, nobody ever wants to say this. But no, listen stop. Nobody ever wants nobody say nobody thank you, thank you. That's true. No one ever wants to say this at twenty six. Show me a twenty six year old black man right now that got sixty thousand dollars to get on his knee and ask a woman to marry made me want But she

didn't say she needed all of that. No, I don't need all that. She didn't say she wanted all of that. Okay, Okay, she couldn't want to go to the courts. Okay, she could be passing down her granny's ring. Nae, it can't be a lot of situations if we're doing dead ass, can we do that ass for real? If this is

dead ass for real? I need I need someone to tell me how a twenty six year old young man is supposed to find twenty six thousand dollars to invest in a one time moment, but and and hold on and still have money to be able to create a lifestyle. Can you give us context? Look at it? That's America ring? Is that a Houston? Oh do you want a Plaza America ring? Is that something from Houston? Yeah? Plaza American ring? Is that what she hold on? She's here, she's here,

Let's hear her, let's hear her. Let's not her? I want to hear No, I don't. All right, let's let's keep it down so we can hear her follow up to the vows rant over here, Right, Okay, I don't want that that type of ring, but I do want a nice ring. I just want something simple, like, you know, very intimate. But it's not about the ring. But it's really it's really not about that. She says she wants something simple. No, not just want something simple, So now

now stop me. I feel like, um, yeah, it's more so a commitment. And then also like I feel like what would be different if it was to get married? So I'm gonnak so I'm gonna answer. I'm gonna answer the questions. I'm gonna answer the question comment not just I'm trying to answer the question. Can I answer the question? Can I answer the question? This? This is this is one of the biggest problems that I found with young people. Right, we found this with us when it came to marriage

Codean was concerned about the wedding. I was concerned about the marriage after we got married. I'm responsible to provide the lifestyle for my family and my wife, asked Kadean at twenty seven. She was I thinking about the marriage. All she thought about was getting the ring she wanted and the wedding she wanted because I thought the marriage would happen naturally, right, happily. Ever after then you right off into the sunset. Little did I know the work

that was involved in that. And my point is, so many young people and this is not a knock on you, young lady. This is not a knock on you, because somebody very very close to us just got engaged, very very close. And that young lady's also said to her boyfriend at the time, my ring has to be three carriage. My whole family needs to be here, and stop me when I'm lying. He wasn't a professional athlete, he wasn't an entertainer. My whole family needs to be there. I

want everything to be instagrammable. So you're asking these young men to be able to buy that before they get on the knee, And then you're wondering, what's taking him so Long's taking him so long as he's trying to find a way to build the type of resume to be able to do that and then take care of you after he's done that. That's what I was stuck with. I'm not gonna lie to you. I wanted to marry

this woman. I was in love with this woman, but she showing me all these rings in these platinum weddings, and I was like, I can't afford that ship right now. It had nothing to due with not loving her, but also my ego was like, I want to give my girl the same thing everybody else girl got. I didn't have that at twenty four. I didn't have it at twenty five. I had to wait until I could get it before I could propose. But even Kay gave me an ultimatum. And I'm saying, and I said this to

her later on in life. I didn't say to her then because I wasn't thinking about it, but I was like, what did you bring to this proposal? If I had to bring, if I had to bring sixty thousand dollars, what did you bring? No one has given me an answer yet of what the ladies are gonna bring, or I think also too, So what are you looking for a woman to propose? No, I'm not looking for women. No,

I'm not looking for women to propose. But what I'm looking for is to women, for women to have empathy for the young men that you're dating and understand that it's not that easy for us to just say I'm gonna just get all this money now, big age. Yes, at the time, I didn't see it. At the time. After dating for eight years, I felt like I needed to know where things were going. We were dating for eight years, and us women, we tend to have a checklist in our mind of things that we should accomplish

at a certain age. So I get that if you're at twenty six, you're thinking, like, man, we've been together for ten years, what's next? You know, you're checking things off your list. Little did I know that the list doesn't necessarily have to pan out the way you're thinking. Is you know, I hear murmurs, but no one's telling me what the woman is bringing to the engagement. Okay, let me hear, let me hear, let's let's hear. My

question is this. Have you ever had a moment where you could have been locked up and she was there for you? A moment where I could have been locked up, been locked up and she was there for you. Why I gotta be jailed? I'm like that. I'm not saying you couldn't even be a moment where you was where you was a hot temper. Can't nobody else break your temper? But if she got in front of you, she could break your temper. That's emotional support. That's happened. That's happened. Baby.

Do I give you emotional support? You do so? Since you give me emotional support and I give you emotional support, I gotta think. Come with sixty thousand? Do you not realize it's okay to say the value won't? God, it's okay. She took it to jail. You ever been locked up before? You've been locked up? No, No, we have another question on I don't get what you're saying. I think I see a hand raised. I'm interested to see what this

young lady has to think. I think I'm the only guy that stood up here from gentlemen, Yes, I didn't even know who y'all were. First off? Another one, thanks for coming here, right, Yeah you know what I mean? And and so yeah, I'm a barber in Houston. Everybody know me. Uh but uh no, I just good. I'm just good for real. I got a real question. I got a real question though, I have a real questions

of success. Uh, how did your wife adapt to your levels of success, especially when you left and have to hit the road for the show and all that stuff, and how difficult was that for both of y'all adapting to level of success. Well, this was always the plan, just so y'all know, and it's it's insane to think

about it. But literally, in October celebrated twenty years since our first date, right, and I literally looked at the val with like tears in my eyes, maybe a week prior, and I was like, do you understand how significant this

anniversary is coming up? Not the fact that we had made it to two decades, but the fact that when I sat in his dorm room and I was eating the sandwich and we talked about in the book, was eating this sandwich and I was just like, yo, so be in college, Like what do you want to do with your life? And he looked at the television screen and he's like, I want to do that. And Martin was on the television screen and I'm like, oh, you want to be an actor. I was like that's dope.

I'm like, how are you gonna do that? And twenty years later he is a working, thriving after y'all. This was always in the plan. The levels of success was always in the plan. We didn't quite know when our season would be, when it would happen, how long it would take, the hardships and the struggles and the obstacles that we were going to have along the way, But this was always in the plan, and I think that makes it so much sweeter now, Like even just having

this moment with y'all, like you have no idea. I've been fighting back tears the entire show, even even leading up to thank You, says thank you, that's what I brought to the table. Put a price tag on that. All right. First of all, I'm I'm gonna answer. I'm gonna answer thank you, because I was about to start crying, but that was great. I'm gonna ask you a question because she has always been involved in my dream. Every time I've reached a level of success, it's always been

our success. And on top of that, whenever I do something, the producers know, my wife and my kids have to be somewhere off, like that's just what it is. If I'm filming somewhere, if I'm something that's like, hey, my wife is gonna be come by a couple of days, or my kids may come by and it's always okay because I made it clear I can't do this project or I can't be involved in whatever this is if my wife and my kids can't be around. One thing I love more than being up on stage and making

people laugh and creating conversations. I love my family. Like when I'm away from my boys for too long, I'm in the worst move. When I'm away from my wife for too long, I'm in an even worst move. So I always make it so that anything I'm a part of is a family affair. This way. The only time that it was a little bit rocky was when I was in the NFL because I can't tell her like my wife's coming to practice, but you can't. But she would get on a flight. She would come every weekend

that I had home games in Detroit. If I wasn't traveling somewhere, she would come, and she would make detail. She would always make time to be there for me, not always just emotionally, but also be present because I'm my best self when she's there. So yes, I will

say to answer you, that's what she brings. She does bring the fact that she he has a lot of She comes with an emotional security that I feel like Superman when I step out in the world, mainly because whether I fail or not, I know that I got my writer with me. You know how hard it is, like seriously, no, no, no, no, no, you you brought up jail. All of it wasn't quite jail. But she, she has been there for me in ways that I

can't even imagine. Because it's hard being a black man out here trying to succeed in all these industries where they don't want us right, But it's easy for me to take a leap and not be afraid to fail

because I got my writer. But the only thing I will say to the young lady who asked about leaving, don't block your blessings because things aren't aren't happening on your time, I would say, speak to him and ask him what's taking so long, and if he can eloquently express and articulate to you what's taking him so along, give that man the time and patience to be able to prove to you that he's worth waiting for. When when I first retired, we would broke his shit. I made.

I made a ton of money in the NFL, lost it in the stock market because of the recession, lost it in property. Because of the recession, I had nothing. I did everything the right way, but i'd we did. But but I did everything I could the right way financially and still lost a lot of money. Right when I went back home, right, I said, baby, I know, we're not where we want to be. We had three friends in the NFL at the same time. Two of

them signed five year, twenty five million dollar contracts. So for me as a man, it was like breaking my ego that we had to move back to my grandmother's apartment where my other friends was buying big mansions. I said to this woman, I said, give me time, and I promise you I will get us back to where we were. And all she ever said to me was I know, But it's that type of patience. It's what you're gonna need for your boyfriend if you feel like

he's the one worth waiting for. That's the conversation. Don't listen to nobody else tell you to leave that man. Not even do that. Don't do that. Yes, it's only up to you and him. Have a conversation with him and find out what his plan is. Because I always told Kadem what the plan was That's the one thing were as clear about. There was always a plan. We weren't over here freestyle and this stuff was just freestyle and trying to figure it out as we go. No,

we've had very specific, very deliberate plans. And we like to say marriage is like one never ending conversation because any idea that might have come to the vow's mind, because he's the creative, innovative one, he'd be like, Hey, I think we should do this, and I'm like, okay, so how are we gonna do it? We had and paper pros and cons and we figure things out and we've always done it together. Some call it a cold dependency, some call it a partnership. This is just my best friend, y'all.

And that's what makes moments like this so much sweeter because this has been twenty for us. Now. I've been told by a ton of people that I'm the greatest manifesto that they've ever met because I spoke what my life was going to be. I got the woman I wanted, I got the career I wanted, and I'm doing it with all of my friends. I want to pass that on to you. Close your eyes and think about this. I want you to dream about the biggest dream that

you've ever had in your life. See yourself doing it, whether it's writing a book, being in a movie, making a million dollars, being the greatest actor at whatever it is. I want you to dream it and see it right now. Do you see it. Believe that it's yours, because it's already been done. I open your eyes, that dream is yours. Don't let nobody else project on you that you can't have it, because it's already happened. If you've seen it, when you close your eyes, that means it's already happened.

Own it and grab it. Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast network and is produced by Dinorapinia and Triple Follow the podcast on social media at dead as the podcasts and Never Miss a Thing.