Live From Brooklyn

Go listen to see I buy. When we first met and I told you what I wanted to do, and you told me what you wanted to do, and we decided to go on this journey together, standing in front of a crowd of people in our hometown applauding us for doing nothing but speaking our truth and realizing that that idea that I had in my mind and seeing it was here. People ride for us and for us, and they are definitely about showing us love and support and like you said, us all for things that we

just do naturally. Hey, I'm Cadine and we're the Ellises. You may know us from posting funny videos with our boys and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy. Wait, I'll make you need Derby most days. Wow. Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married, Yes, sir, we are. We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of life's most taboo topics, things most folks don't want to talk about through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass is a term that we say

every day. Where we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts, the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. We're about to take Phillow's talk to a whole new level. Dead Ask starts now. A few weeks ago, we did an episode of dead Ass in front of a live audience in our hometown, Brooklyn. It was a sold out crowd. Y'all, y'all really came. Let me tell you, it was amazing. Coin I tried to stop her. I was like, I

was like, baby pain. I was just about to say we cried, but I wasn't gonna put you out there like that in the very beginning of the show. Today, but Devout and I both I feel like we had several moments of just fighting back tires that entire day. I actually needed that energy and I needed to be in that space because ever since we've come to the West coast, even though we've kind of been tri coastal,

there's nothing like being in Brooklyn all the time. So being able to go home and getting the response that we got and got so much love, and we've got a surprise for y'all. For those who couldn't be there, We're not gonna hold that against you, but we're bringing a small piece of the show to you. So this week's episode, the format is a little bit different to just rock with us. It's a little different than what you used to stick along for the ride and enjoy this.

As we relived this moment together, it was so bomb dead Ass Brooklyn. Yo, we're home. Yes, yes, up yourself, yourself. I had to come out here with tissue. She cried twice in the back. She cried twice and emotional today. Guys. Yes, we're in Brooklyn. You guys know we've recently moved to l A and we're yes. So thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Thanks. So it's important for us to tell you guys a little bit about how we started about Dead Ass Podcasts, about all of

our people. It's important that you know everybody that you see here has been with us from the beginning. It was all an idea and all an idea, and you know us big about supporting black business. It's important for you to know that everyone here also gets paid. This isn't favorites. This isn't favorites. So um and the reason why we talked about this is because we're young black entrepreneurs and if it weren't for you guys supporting us, we couldn't do what we do. So clap it up

for yourselves absolutely. I mean, I'm sure if you follow us, you know why we even started all this to begin with, you know, vlogging and putting a little bit of ourselves out there for the world to see. Um, is to help our acting careers. So shout out to the vol who's on Sisters, who's watching Sisters on baby Day? Yes, yes, I had to plug him real quick because let me tell you all a little something. I was in a Ruble last week on vacation and because of the time

zone differences, I forgot what day it was. So he was like, so you out there in a Ruba and you're not gonna post my show? How dare you not post my show? You out there gallavants in the streets of a Ruba and you won't even promote my show. I was like, I don't even know if it's Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday because I've been time zone hopping. So you get please watch my baby Zack yes hashtag I rocked with Zack. I know a lot of women out here hate Zach right now? All right? I had a woman

come up to me in the street. How do women come up to the street? This is guy's on the true She came up to me in the street. First of all, she was just like, I don't like the fact that you out here and you got them three home boys at home, but you at Dandy's house. It's true. I was like, I'm you do realize that that's that's TV? Right. She's like, you asking us to do too much to decide between the three boys and Codeine and Dandy and Karen. You asked me to do too much. I watched Sisters,

I listen to the podcast. I'm just mad at you right now. I was like, it is a TV show, lady. Then she asked me for a selfie, so I was like, did you take the selfie? All right? How many single women do we have out here? Tonight. Okay, but what about the single men crickets? Whoa Okay, I heard it,

your heard okay? All right, single man. When we first decided we were going to do a live show, we were thinking about, you know what, in order to do a good live show for our fans, we need to go look at some live shows to make sure we're doing the right thing for the podcast. So, you know, we're season two, we're still kind of new with this, so we're trying to figure things out, you know. So we designed it. We was like, well, maybe it's the guests.

Maybe we need some live guests. But then I was like, you know what, our people come to see the valin cade. But then we were like, you know who the best guests would be. Yeah, I get it, I get it. They can't come here. It's alcohol being served. Kind of parents, would we be that y'all there talking about I can't believe they brought into the show exact imagine there was alcohol. They were talking about sex exactly. Jackson don't need to hear that right now. He already caught us one time.

It was messed up. Oh my god, oh my god, yo, this takes me the story time, story Time I had a whole another story plan, but I gotta you have this story. So me and connin are be married nine years. You know, look at look at my baby, look at my bad people married nine plus years, gold legs looking like gold, looking like the Academy Awards. You know, I like to think, my mother, God, you're a lord. But with me, I rolled with the punches. I kick ahead.

So I'm story. I'm like, yo, you know, you know Kyra went cash about to take a nap, right, it was about twelve o'clock is so we got we got about thirty minutes, got about thirty minutes. All right, come with me in the back, you know, do what we do? You know, it actually summons him to the closet, because that's like our new thing. Closet is the new things. Can you show them the closet walk? When I know she sometimes she don't even say nothing to me. She

just walked by me. This is the walk, do you know? Okay, so ready I'll be minding my business. I'll be like to kind of go to the closet. Closet first for sure. So now you know we're in l A. We got a new crib. So I'm like Jackson's downstairs. He's playing video games. We got them a whole whole lass playroom, whole playboom with PlayStation and toys and ships. I was like, they're gonna stay in the play room. So I did

the right thing. I said, Yo, I said, Yo, We're gonna play Madden all right, but I'm gonna check on your mom's make sure she good start the game because you know once they start the game, they don't like to be interrupted, right, So we sipically I started the game, started the game. I'm like, your mom calling me? You know how your mom be uh one of this? So now me and Kay we're in the room doing our things. But we quiet though, so you know the quiet smashes

be different, so one of those. So now it's a quiet sta. But the house ain't. It's not an old house. Our house in on Dean Street used to have crickety floors. So when he used to be like Jack said, I know you don't finished that? How finished that homework? Read another chat to your book? We got carpet, you know where here ship but carfe So I'm in my groove. You know, all I hear is who I'm like, oh oh,

Kate grabbed the colors. She dropped to the side of the bed and I was like, instant, it was over. It was over. So I run out to do that. I'm doing damage control on both. I run to Jackson. I'm like, bro, bro, he's sitting there like this, I said, because he's eight, so I don't know what to say, how to explain it. So I'm like, I was like, what is your He was is your idea? So you explained this one. I didn't know where to go, so I was like, what did you see? Let's talk about it.

He was like, I walked in there and Mommy was twerking on you. So I was like, I was like, and my twork is mean okay, dropped it. So she imagine that and fast forward. Okay, So I had to at this point, I had to flip it. So I'm like, she wasn't tworking on the Jackson. I gotta got a cramp. You know, daddy be working out a lot. I had got a cramp in my quad. She lifted my leg up to stretch. The only way you can get that massage out is if she work it while she stretched me.

So he was like, so it's it's a cramp. It was a cramp. I was like, yes, bro, it was a cramp. Get your mind out the gether like your mother. Don't be twigging like that. Then I put him on punishment because I had it. I was like the value like you kid. She told me I was wrong for that. I didn't know what to do, so I was just like, this is what you do when you're a parent, Like when you get caught, you just so I just flipped it. I was like, didn't that's how you stop busting the

god people room? And what did you want? We're just supposed to be warming up for me Jackson. He was over here and warming me up, but screamed at him. I made him do time tables. He had to do his time tables for an hour. Then I come back in the room and Kay had the race car crying on her face. So I was like, I was like, it's all right, baby, it's so right, So can we finish? And I hit him with the hell no, it was

the red that happened. That happened last week. You knew I was going away, so you know it was around. But that brings us to our icebreaker were a couples are couples. We are that? Okay, how many married couples do we have? I already heard somebody saying right here? Who said right here? Engaged? So we got engaged? Okay, can y'all stand standford me? Can I being a flower girl? Can I being a flower girl? How long you've been married? I can be a bridesmaid? Love a good wedding? Sand

We got eight years right here? Okay, we got some vets in the game, can we have y'all? Come on stage, please, Prescott, Come on, Prescott, Come on, I know, Prescott, come up here, come here, Come come on. We got married? Who's dating? Okay? Come on, I feel like that. Now, come on up, come on, come on up to the side. Guys, I got three couples over here. So we're gonna do things

a little different for y'all. We figured we're making a little interactive you know, like we said, we weren't trying to come up here and talk and preach to y'all. We have a little fun tonight, little ice breaker situation. So let's bring our three couples up here. Come on up, Come on up, Come on up. Let's see who we got. What's up, girl, what's your name Junie and Junie. Where y'all from Brooklyn? Give me your names? Sequence and Raw? See Quinn and Raw? Do you have a nickname? Back down?

All right? Come up here with we go, Junior and Rock come on up. Give him a round of applause, y'all. All right now it's over there, man. What's your name? All right? Who we got over here? Charles from flat Bush, Flat stand up Bush, come on stage, Come on right now, Hi man, thank you for giving me a normal last name. Charles, right all the same, right, Prescott, you shouldn't have rose your head. Prescott and I go back to high school days, alright,

alright here Prescott was friends with her ex boyfriend. Leave leave it, leave it to the vell to dig up the dirt. Don't dig up no dirt right day? Any who give me an give them your name, Darling, Shari Sarie, Anthony Anthony, I call him press guy, But okay, Anthony, come on, come on, give him around to applause. Married on that side. That's what we're gonna do. We're gonna separate the women from the man. All the ladies over there with ship. I don't think we discussed this ahead

of time. So what are we doing. I told you how to do right now. So the Couple Challenge, what we had was a talent competition that involved couples. So it's kind of like pageantry. And we came up with this idea because Kadine is a pageant girl. You know, she's she's very accomplished. Shout out to a Miss South Africa who is now Miss Universe. Yes we have no we have four systems holding all the titles. Four systems

give us all the titles. Okay, So what we decided to do was to bring this pageantry to the Dead Ass Podcast. But we wanted to do it with couples because we always hear couples say to us like, Yo, y'all remind us of y'all or y'all remind y'allself. I don't know how they say. It sounds funny saying that, and the that's like the fourth person was like, they say, y'all remind us of us, y'all remind us of us.

So I wanted to see how much they know about each other, right, and we wanted to do a Brooklyn style, so we put a little bit of a twist on things to see who was the most Brooklyn couple and it was on the top of knowing each other the best, and we had a DJ Executive shout out to DJ Executive who was there giving all the tunes, all the vibes that was getting us through the show, which was amazing.

So we ended up pulling up a couple that was engaged right, a couple that was married yes, and a couple that was dating, and a couple that was dating. So it kind of worked out perfectly because they were all in different points in their relationship together. So I asked the guys to do their best walks to show how they approached their lady because the vet has this like walk that he claims he did when he saw me.

I don't recall the walk with this whole like you know, smiles and shape, right you see how it dropped ahead tell them so y'all can't see the walk, but the walk sounds like my voice right now, and k can't help herself but to be mesberized by the walk. You see what I'm saying. It's kind of like a slow dragged the toe and step and it got the little shoulder and step drag, this tone step drag, the tone step with the Gates pays Gates, and I was like, oh,

my niece, you know, so that's what I did. That's what we did. So the Volt gave his little demonstration of his walk, and and it's a known thing people say, dudes from Brooklyn walk different, Like we got a different walk, you feel me like, it's just they know what it is. Dead asked when when you walk up to it shortly, and you'd be like, hey, yo, mam was good. So any like, so when you did the reenactment of your walk on stage, you actually felt as if and you

put yourself when you're tims. Yes, because I didn't he didn't have his tims with surprise for the Brooklyn show. I really expected you to rock your tims and I was surprised he wanted to do something a little different. I did because I felt like that would have been a little bit cliche, and I wanted to do the opposite of cliche. I know, I know, I know. We

did dressed up really nicely for we did um. But yeah, it was funny because I know that that's something you were channeling, because you know they were walking the tims, you know, with a little toe drags to drag step so that was dope. When we had the guys, you know, do their approach, had their ladies standing in front of them so we could see how they approach, and that was hilarious us hilarious because we had three different type of dudes. Outside of them being in different points in

their relationships, they were just three completely different personalities. Um, I believe the dating couple they were a little bit more shy, more reserved. Um, they were more theological. They go to church. I don't even know if that's but they go to church, so they're a little bit more you know, reserve. And then the engaged couple, he was he was he was like, I don't give a shit about nothing. I don't. I am here to let y'all know that I am here. This is not their show,

this is my show. And he's from Flatbush definitely. And then the last the married couple is actually an old friend of yours, to Prescott, Anthony Prescott and his wife's yes. So he did the shimmy, so he knows about this and it was perfect. But listen, how you just explained that to like, the dating couple was more reserved than engaged couple was just having fun. They also have a couple of kids too. I think they about three or four kids. And then you had the married couple. He

had three or four, she didn't have three. Okay, got you he had three or four? Got you? Well, either way you can tell. With the married couple and the engaged couple, it is that comes a point when you just don't really give a ship. You're just like whatever, like this is what it is, this is who we are, and this is what it is. Like that's it, you know what I mean. But the best part, I think was when we asked the couples something very Brooklyn. Wait wait wait, we asked the young women to drop it.

Oh my god, are you going you forget to drop it? What are you doing? My bad? I totally forgot that part. How could I? Because I definitely demonstrate it. Definitely demonstrated a couple of y'all two in the audience shouts, who got some bomb boomerangs of my drop that is the thing, So I'd just be dropping it dropped up. She loved to drop it and get the boomerang so she could record the like pendulum swinging the hips at the bottom pet It was like the perfect time in a couple.

I even DM those people, was like, Cass, do me a favorite, sent me that fat little video right there. You know, my dress wasn't necessarily conducive for dropping it, but thank god for stretching material made it work. But I had to demonstrate for my girls. And then we had each lady come on up and drop it something a little more than the dropping. Yeah. Well, the first young lady, like you said, was very reserved. She literally dropped it one one time. She just dropped it and

that was it. Got back up, walked back. She was like, she's like, oh my god, my god. And her boyfriend was just like, it's okay, baby, you can still go to heaven like it's a right guy, will forgive you for dropping it. And then we had a Flatbush couple, like we said, really don't give a ship, and that turned into a whole session make the Stallion City Girls competition, and she she really went down there and she did

her thing. And then the married couple, and one thing I'll tell you about married people, right, we are mad competitive. You are not going to outdo us. We've been in this for a long time, and we took the leap like we took the leap. We jumped the broom. So if there's a couple of competition, n that married couples gonna always take it up a notch. So you know, Prescott and his wife, they ended up doing like a

whole team drop it because she drop didn't. He dropped it in front of her to protect, he protect to drop ation. He was like, I'm gonna jump in on this, drop it. Yeah, so y'all can't see my wife's drop it, right, but she's gonna drop it on. We're gonna win this competition exactly. So it was great, it was, it was dope, it was. It was really good, exactly. And then the last part, which is kind of like a team group effort, Yes, you know it was when we asked the couples a

very Brooklyn specific trivia question. But it was team oriented, oh for sure, very team oriented, and we gave them some time to come up with their answers and answer collectively as a team. So go ahead and check it out. So this is how we're going to finish the competition, alright, and the couples together, we're gonna ask you a question based on Brooklyn and based on the answer they give with the compilation of the drop everything. We're gon. We're

gonna cheer. Everybody got it? All right? All right? So where's our where's our couple of this dating? Right now? All right now, all right, so listen, here's your question. Right let's see what the question? The question? Do you want the cards for this baby? Because we need remember remember remember this is I'm not that drunk. To make sure I had to keep him on cue, y'all because we will be here all night. So listen. You're on the B forty one. She's walking down flat Bush. You

see her walking down flat Bush. You jump off the bus and you say, you're a your ma. Do you answer? Hell? No? Y'all heard that? No? Ya's your final answer. Next group is up, Next group. We should have asked him first, what her? What she should he answered or not? That's that all right? Next question, Next question. It's Friday night. All right, it's Friday night. You finally get a phone call from your crush that she wants to go out. Crush the crush. You got a hundred dollars in three hours?

Where do you take her? In Brooklyn? I'm taking to the Bell House. We're going to see dead ass. Do you accept. I accept? All right, now, yeah, I had a couple of different ones here. This is the last question, all right, just the last question you got to get into. Listen a little. Yeah, let's see if she agrees with this. Right, name your three favorite Brooklyn hip hop artists from three

to one, and why in that order? All right? But we got because it's a bunch of Brooklyn heads out here, so if y'all say the wrong people, it's gonna be a problem. So who we got? Number three? Who we got fave? Okay? Okay, good answer, good answer, good good answer, good answer, good answer. I feel like we're on family feud, right, it's my family ready? Number two? Jay z Okay, Okay. I got to see what they put it number one.

I gotta see if they put it number one. Yeah, I see who number one is before I start to overreact, Before I start to overreact, I gotta see what they put in number one. Get me get a drum roll out there, drum roll for number one, y'all, listen, can we have all three guys get with your girls? Girls with your guys? All that good? First? First, first and foremost, first and foremost, can we clap it up for all the couples. Please do you guys were good sports. You

guys appreciate so much for that. Roll up with the punches, you know what I mean? Like I said on follow script, so that up just now, none of that is on the car. We're gonna start on your side. Baby. Can we give it up for the daters? Yes, keep on keeping on dating couple. There we go. We're gonna come on my side. Can we give it up for the engaged couple? Love it? I love it here? Alright? Alright, new Kirk Flatbush flap Bush. Can't take Flatbush niggas nowhere.

I can't take from nowhere. Was already clapping. They're gonna niggas need to be disqualified. Oh he's bribing people. We got all. He's bribing people. He's bribing people. Now, okay, control your fiances, control, control your stuff. You gotta you gott a discount cade, a promo code? What you got? I just want to know, please? Alright? Alright? Can we quiet down? This is a fair competition. Can we give it up from a married couple? All right? Listen? Yeah,

I think I think we have our winner. I think we have our winner. And it came down to giving out free ugs, but the married couple I think took down one oh oh oh man. Guys, So listen that that show was so much fun. It really was. It

really was, and you know, it's funny. We we're trying to think of a different approach to a live show because we could have done it the typical style where we do karaoke and we do U the story time, but we really felt like we wanted the show to be a little bit more interactive, where the audience can kind of be involved, have, you know, have some moments to kind of chat with us, make it a little bit more personal. You know, absolutely, Why do you think we wanted to do that, Babe? I know you were

very adamant about having an interactive show. Well, I was adamant about it because at first we were thinking about getting guests, and I was saying to myself, you know, for our first live shows, people come for us, they want to hear our voices, and I feel I felt like having guests would kind of take away from the dead ass experience, right, But then I also felt like, you know what, when I sit in the audience at things,

the best guests sometimes are in the audience. That is true, So why don't we just let the guests be our audience. They get an opportunity to not only just listen to us, but interact, Like so much of podcasts is listening to people, but now I get an opportunity to interact with them in real time. It just seems like it made so much sense and it was just so different. So it's not virtual anymore. It's not like, Okay, now you have to email me for this, or you know, we have

to wait to reply for that. A lot of times we can't even it's like humanly impossible to reply to comments that we get all the time, or to repost every mentioned like it's virtually impossible to do. When you were right when you said that some of the best guests are the guests in the audience, because why you, each and every one of you made it a point go online to purchase a ticket, you know, and it's it's self out there to be able to just do

things leisurely for entertainment to spend money on. So we appreciate every everyone, each and every one of you who spent money on the v I P. People who came in to meet with us, which was a nice experience as well. We got to hang with some people before and after the show who purchased the v I P Level tickets. I mean, you guys made it a point to be at the show, and for that reason, we felt like it was necessary to include you, like why not. You know, so in the future, we know we may

do something a little bit different. We may keep this format, you know, depends on the feedback that we get, or there may be that interesting of a guest that we feel like we want to have on for a segment, you know, or two in a future show. But for the first ones, we felt like, you know what, y'all sold out these tickets in like two to three weeks.

I think y'all needed and deserve the most the valent codein and y'all needed the best dead As experience because not for nothing, I don't consider us just a podcast. This is an experience, like we interact even with our producers doing during the show, Like I feel like, you guys know Kaye Trible. I feel like y'all know everybody was here because we interact with everyone who's here. So I just feel like it was just a great experience to get everyone involved. And I'll just do something different,

you know, off the cuff. Yeah, for sure, And I mean we've got a great response so far, so definitely let us know what you'll think about today's episode where you can kind of take the journey with us. So we're gonna take a quick break and get into some ants. This for the record, there it is. Tiger Woods is one of our most inspiring sports icons. In his story, it comes with many chapters. I am deeply sorry from my irresponsible and self behavior, but here it is the

return to glory. This is All American, a new series from Stitcher hosted by me Jordan Bell. You realize Tiger Wis doesn't know who he is best in the history of golf, no question in my mind. And this season, with the help of journalist Albert Chen, we're asking what if the story of Tiger Woods that the media has been telling, what if it's been completely wrong? All American Tiger is out now. Listen and Stitcher, Apple Podcasts or

your favorite podcast app. All right, so I've told you all time and time again that my favorite part is the listener letters, because that's when we get a chance to listen to you all, get some questions and we can give our tunis. And she was even more nosy now because she was seeing people in persons live. I get to see not even that devout stop. No, no, no no. But it was nice too. Well. First of all, I was worried that we may not have gotten people

coming up in front of an audience. Yeah, or sometimes people just are more private and they rather just submit an anonymous letter. But it was great to see people were really like raising their hands. So I wish we had more time to do a lot more listener letters. And it was good to also hear the audience respond to people's questions, right, because then you realize how many people have the same question as you, and then you

stopped feeling right like, damn, that was a dumb question. No, for sure, has anybody out here written in for listener letter? No want to ask right now? You have a question? Right now? Do you have a question? Yes? You know what? Both forget let's have let's come on, come on up and ask the question. How about that? Since we're in real time? Did I just put you I'll put you on the spot, didn't I? Somebody get her a microphone is a micro right here? Come on up, girl, walk up,

Come on up, Come on down, Come on down. Girl. Hey, hey, just say excuse me. All in Brooklyn, if you step on somebody joined this, it might be a fight. That was trying to wear tims with his outfit today. I told him, y'all would have appreciated that. But you know, he found these shoes and zarrows. I was like, I guess it'll rock. I want to do with my team. She wasn't having it, you know, being You're right, I do gotta match your swag. You're right. She should have

worn teams too. I should have. I could have worn tims to dress. But hey, you know, we'll rock with it, all right, since you give us your name and what's your question? So my name is Ashley. Okay, Ashley from Brooklyn. Okay, So I know I asked so we can everybody to hear you can't hear me now, Okay. So I know you guys talked a lot about long distance when you first started and the you know, I'm currently in a

long distance relationship going on two years. He's actually in l A and I'm here, So I'm currently by coastal, very long distance. So I struggle more recently because it's

coming up on, you know, another two years. How to keep the spark and how to make things interesting and to not, you know, let the distance come between us because eventually there's going to be a move, whether it's back to New York or back or to l A. But in the meantime, just to make sure that there is you know, if we have a question about long distance left, how to keep the spark. It's funny because Deval and I maybe because how long have you all

been dating? Six years? Six years? So no, we've been dating for six together in a relation ship for three years, okay, distance from have three years? Okay, because it's funny being is though we've been together for so long, it's been seventeen years together. Distance actually helps us a bit, I think too, because we work together a lot. We're here doing a show together, Um, a lot of our time

is spent together. So for us, the distance actually helps a bit because it gives us a bit of a spark, that um feeling of missing each other that I feel like we're missing sometimes because we're always in each other's face. And also to devalinized struggle with the seeing each other but not really seeing each other, meaning that we'll pass each other, you know, several times during the day, but not really taking the chance to absorb the moment and

really just connect um. So that's something that we've been struggling with for a little bit recently because we've been working together so much more. But we've tried to now make conscious efforts to say, Okay, we need to take time throughout the day to really just connect and to be and to exist in that moment because you're always moving, so that little bit of distance the other day, like when I was in a Ruba, Let's hope nobody was recording my face times, y'all got FaceTime. You want to

keep the spark FaceTime each other. That's it, faced on each other, enjoy each other's company. Whenever you have time, and save your money, get on the flight, go see you man. How often are you able to see each other? Usually every two months, so I'm back and forth every two months. It's got that, okay the relationship. Somebody over there that this be the problem I have sometimes, Right, this young lady over here said, why did I say tell him her to get on the flight, Tell him

to get the flight? One person? Didn't I say they could get on the flight. Faced on each other. I just everyone in the tape. We gotta rewind the tape. The value definitely told her to get on the flight. So listen, face time him right now, tell him to talk to me, and I'll tell him to get on the flight. So I can make all the women here feel better because he's not here. We can be telling you to get on the flight was actually bad advice, and just a disclaimer for everybody who's saying this is

bad news. He is pursuing his graduate's degree and were graduating in Julie. That's why I love that I love well. Isn't that a turn on in itself? Just knowing that he's out there chasing his dreams and making himself happy so he can be a whole individual coming back to you, girl. When he does, you see l a a clapping up for him. But this is the truth for long distance relationships though. If you find you, people find time for

this if that's important for them. If he want to be with you, he's gonna find time to face time you. When he got free time, he's gonna get on the flight, and you're gonna get on the flight. That's just the bottom line. If y'all really want to be together. There will be no excuses because we found every every way to be around each other. Sure did. Even times where we don't want to be around each other, we'll still find a way to pop up. Did that be showing up? Surprised?

You didn't show up in the rub? But you don't know if I was there not? Did you? And I was all my best behavior? You was? I was watching too. Next question? Anybody else in the audience have questions? Oh? You do? You're right? She likes to hear if a guy has a question before because there's a lot of women to ask questions and the men don't ask questions. Do we have some guys who want to ask the questions? Oh? Everybody shining the light on him? Shine the light on him?

Back there? Who got the question? I turned his back? Naa, you gotta come up? You're were you at? Come on upright? You want you on deck? You know you? Hi? Hi? Hello, your name Lisa. I'm from Queens. Hi, Lisa from Queens. From Queen Queen's I go hold up again, I'm in Brooklyn. So you don't venture off to Queens often, but when we do, I get it. Okay, good, good, good. All right. So my boyfriend and I have been dating for five years. Right now, we're talking about getting engaged. We're saving for

our wedding. Um, and I grew up in a Jamaican household, So any other yacht he's up in here tonight? Can I get like a horn or something? The Jamaican's up in here? Sorry, yad is link up? All right? Growing up in a Jamaican household, what that meant was I had a lot of responsibilities around deals, like a lot of cleaning up after my brother's after my parents. My parents have six kids, three girls, three boys. But I'm like the middle. But I'm somewhere in the middle. You

said you wanna catch I have faithan y'all. The girl is coming three, he's coming three, Okay. So my question is, all right, two Jamaicans, yes day late five years. So when we get married, I'm wondering, how did you guys split the chortes when you guys got married? Like, because I have been doing this for twenty four years and I'm tired. I am tired, So who are you doing what? I don't even know. I don't even know why that

it's about to be a fight. I'm not going to who sent her to start this argument because they don't know what it's you is? Okay, go ahead, go ahead. So that's idea of doing chores. All right, she's gonna go ahead, go ahead. I should have want my man's in the bag? You picked her? I only saying go ahead? So did that? I don't know what the chore is, Okay do that's idea of partaking in chores. It's hiring help.

Am I right? Or am I right? So pretty much she's just like, well, this is some ship that I'm not trying to do, so I just you know what, I'm gonna just get you some help. So do that. Rather he rather clock the quality of toilet paper that I buy in the house. He'll be like, you always spending morning money when it's spending ass toilet paper up? That cuts into his budget for someone to come and help him. Finished, Please finish, because I'm waiting for my turn.

Am i? Am I saying that the wrong here? No, I'm just waiting for my turn to head. So develop will rather me buy cheapass toilet paper so that he can have a budget to put in for someone to help him with his chores. Or he just delegates to the kids. Can y'all imagine Cairo and Cash trying to team together and mop the floor. It's go ahead, go ahead, because you did all that. Get ahead. I want to hear what you gotta stay now because I'm entertained. I'm entertained.

Go ahead. This is the beef we have with chores, right, and it starts with this whole idea about men versus women. Okay, Codeine in a heartbeat will be like, you're a man, You're supposed to take out the trash. You're a man, you're supposed to pump the gas. Codeine hasn't opened the door in seventeen years. She would walk to the door and go like this, like the oscar that I am. Clap claps, but asked me who set me that way? Though? Hold on, come out without talking. When you were talking,

I wasn't talking. I wasn't talking. Oct Because we have company, I'll sit, thank you. Ahead. So now I accept those things right because as a man, I want to be the leader of my house. I'm willing to do all the things a man is supposed to do. For example, if I'm made ten dollars, nine of it goes to my household first, to make sure that my wife and my kids take care of Yes, and two thousand nineteen. She'll accept all of that. But if I say, you're

a woman, you should cook, this ain't nineteen boom. You can't have it both ways. You can't expect nineteen fifties chivalry, but get two thousand nineteen morals as a man. So we have a problem. I don't mind. I don't mind. Listen. This is how crazy it gets in our house. This is the truth I make. I make very good money, my wife makes very good money. My bills. Pay all the bills first, because as a man, it is my responsibility to take care of my home. All of the

women when I say that, say yes. But then when I say, as my wife, I would like a hot meal when I come home, and I like the house to be clean that I pay for, all the women go why are you so old school? And my response to that is go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, think Come here, says tell him what that is. Come tell him about the choice and what I had to deal with.

You have to have three home boys, three home boys and gentlemen, and gentlemen, why do you think there's uber eats now, duh, gentlemen, gentlemen, is set up for us to fail. Gentlemen, we can't win. You want to know why, because at the end of the day, on the smash, so you know what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna say, you know what, baby, you got it. I'm gonna put my shades on and I'm gonna say Divide is in the building and I'm gonna take out the trash. It depends.

It depends on who I'm dealing with on the day. Listen, this is amazing. Let me start playing around. The truth is there is no single one answer. There isn't. We argue about this and debate about this every single day, and the bottom line is it depends on who got the worst day. The other one gonna do the motherfucking shorts. Because because when I was filming, she was in Atlanta. No, she was in New York, flying us from New York to l A, moving all the boys and me without

my help. There was a point where the move has got there three days early. She had to hop on the flight, get there, help them move the stuff in the house, stay there with no beds, then fly back to make sure that Jackson and kyro Kaz were safe. Meanwhile, he was caring in her bedroom. I was filming and sweatpants. When I did not give him permission, it was set. So the bottom line was when I came back home that day, I knew how stressed she was. There was

dishes in the sink. I washed the dishes. I come home. She tired. Fool gotta be made. I grew. I grew like I don't I don't mind. I'm not gonna stand over a stove or oven season the meat and I'm gonna throw that ship on the grill. The boys gonna eat this with some beans, and I'm make some rice. And if we don't got no rice, I'm gonna get some rice crispies. You're gonna have this serious. That's just

the way it works. The old school way of guys having this and girls having this don't work in two thous in nineteen and I just proved that because I was right in my point, but she was right in her point. And when you're both right, that means nobody's wrong. You've got to find a balance. There you go, you do what works. Can you believe? We blew through like an hour and change already. Did you have a good time tonight? All right? Last question, real quick, brother, because

had a question? Was he back? Here? Was he here? And from East New York? We went to school in East New York. So my thing is trade with school, trade with the school. All right. So my thing is as a man, like when do you know or like, do you feel like it's that time to propose? If you get in, I guess kind of sort of feelings of apprehension and the saying, God, do you have a

girl here? Look up smiling? Is she blushing out? Because the real talk, no cap if I had to ring me right now, I'm proposed to like that you're low key? I was like, it would be really dope if somebody proposed that our show, because you know, I'll be the flammer girl jump in all that. Because as far that's how how as far as choices goes like, I've made my choice like it is what it is. Yeah, So as as I like I don't want to, I guess to give up that pressure like that that pressure like

it's not pressure, bro, it's not pressure. This is the bottom line. People ask me all the time, what what prayer did couldin say to make you want to be monogamous. They say it all the time. The ship sounds crazy, and I'm gonna be honest, it wasn't a prayer that coulde made. I made a choice to want to be monogamous for myself, and then I chose to share my

monogamy with codeine. If you ever in your life, make a decision to do something for somebody else, every time they feel short of what you want to need, your feeling need to go do something else. So for me, it's easy to be monogamous because I want to be monogamous for myself. For me, monogamy work for me because it made me a better person. I'm able to do the things that I can do out here in the world because my focus is on one person, one family,

one life. You know what I'm saying, So there's no distraction that can come to deter me from that. It doesn't matter how many times we have sex, don't have sex, have sex, we like, don't have It doesn't matter because monogamy for me is gonna make me be a better man. If you found that in yourself, then you know what you gotta do. You see what I'm saying. Period, I love it. I love it. If you picked out a ring style that you liked already it don't it just to put it on your bad drop on your phone,

change the wall paper on your laptop. She did that to me. She believe in the universe. Putting out subliminal messages, you know, and you'll get the drift. I am mad at it. You know what you want to get, you what you want to give ship. I love you, I love you. You just gotta drop it, all right, maybe for the road. We love you guys so much. Our

live show. If a couple comes out, couples come out, can either be a great night of like for play almost like yeah, I'm going to sit next to my baby and We're gonna stroke each other and we listen to the show. Or can insight arguments after for discussions. I should say, I'm hoping it's thesis for the women has always arguments. Don't even don't even don't even be like, I don't want to argue. I'm like, I'm just discussing,

right what you mean? Don't do that we you did that last night, but don't make it a man and woman things you did that. You did that last night. You're a woman, I'll take responsibility for what I did. Why, you know, there's some men out there. We're just like, we'll see what development or what you said. You just never know listening after what you say. I hope everybody went home. I had amazing sex that night. That's great, that's great. You're really looking out you just what's your

moment of truth, babe? Well, this is my moment of truth. Going through this entire process taught me a couple of things, right. The first thing it showed me was that we as people have to learn how to flow in the universe. Right. We had a plan. We had a plan for the podcast, We had a whole script. We knew exactly what was going to do. Everything was broken down by time and slots. And then because there were not many single men, we had to chuck the whole thing and figure it out. Right,

So I learned. And it's an old parable by Bruce Lee that says people need to learn to be like water. Water can flow, right, but water can also crash. So you can be strong like water and crash, but you can also flow and you can turn into different things. And when I think about what you and I did during the podcast, the live podcast and having to adjust on the fly in front of a live audience and able to make it be seamless and not have anyone

in the audience realized that we jumped off script. Showed me that that is a microcosm of our marriage. It is think about it. Think about marriage, right. You go through things in the daytime and there's ebbs and flows, there's highs and lows, and you still got to walk out in the universe and you have to put up a unified front to let people know that you're still doing good. For sure, as a married couple, we do that every single day. But to actually see it happen

in the course of a production and do it. We had no que cards. I just jump off do one thing, boom, you jump off, do another thing, and we just go back and forth everyone. That was just a great show. That that just shows me why we work so well as a matter a couple, because we're good partners. Yes, we're really really partners. Were like lovers. We're friends, partners, friends, business partners. Sure do best friends, I say best friends,

best parents for I think it works. So that was so good, Babe, Thank you, Who would you come up with that? I think it's just years of me off on you. I knew you were going to take credit for it, So let me go back to this what happens. What I learned is that your wife going to take credit for everything you do. Don't start a start. That's the truth. No, it was sure, great thing. Well, what's what's your moment of truth? You're going to ask me

what my moment? I kind of have to But my moment of truth is insane because and I knew it was my moment of truth because I got so emotional in that moment. But for me, there was a physical moment of truth, and that was us standing on that stage at the end of the Brooklyn Show and feeling all of the energy and all of the emotions and the positive vibes from the entire audience. That was a

moment of truth for me. That let me know that we're on the right track, that what we're doing right now is helping so many people, so many individuals, so many couples, whether they're married or trying to find their way. Um, but we're just helping people by being truthful and sharing, you know, our stories, being able to just bring on guests who are experts in their fields, because we never professed to be experts in any field. We're only experts

at our relationship. And at times I feel like I don't even know you, all right, So that's a rap. Season two is coming to an end. Actually the last show is next week and then we'll be going on a little bit of a hiatus like we get after

season one. Y'all. Yes, but we still want to hear from you'all, so remember to keep those emails coming, and don't forget to subscribe on Apple podcast so when we do come back from the break, that episode will automatically be loaded onto your phone and you won't miss it. And when you subscribe, whether it's on Apple, Stitcher, Spotify, Google Podcast, it helps our show. And y'all one is back, right, you do, right, I'm sure you do, because we want

to come back. And while you're subscribing, also follow us at codeine I Am and at I Am. Devo is gonna be changing her name to peg Drop three forgot Drop. She's gonna be changing her name, maybe a whole new page create one. You do, you drop it the whole time, holding the kids, dropping the dropping That might be actually a good a good look you know. Dead Ass is a production of Stitcher. It's produced by T Square and

Dinora Penia. Our Chief content Officer is Chris Bannon. Our associate producers are Kristin Torres and Trouble, our studio engineer and original music is by Brendan Burns and mixed by Andy, Kristine's daughter. We're back. I'm Drew McGarry and I'm David Roth. We have a podcast going on right now as part of the Stitchen Everywhere called Abstraction that's available everywhere. Get the podcast at Stitcher, Spotify, Apple, Go listen right now to the Distraction right now. It's out. Do it, please,