Let Mama Own Her Sexy with Melanie Fiona, Bec M. Gross & Ashley Chea

We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of life's most taboo topics, things most folks don't want to talk about through the lens of a millennium married couple. Dead ass is a term that we say every day. So when we say dead ass, we're actually saying fast the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. We're about to take pillow Talk to a whole new level.

Dead at starts right now. It was a random Sunday afternoon, and I remember getting a call from my manager and you know, we were working on like different brands that I can, you know, pitch myself to working on brand partnerships because typically when I'm looking to partner with a brand, it has to be organic and authentic to me, my lifestyle, my narrative, everything that encompasses Codeine the workwoman, the mom,

the wife. So she said to me, you know, Cadeine, I feel like we may have to put a little bit more diverse content on your page because some of the feedback that I've been getting from these brands, um is that you know, Canein's page is awesome. You know, she has lots of followers, you know, great engagement, but her page is a little risk So I was like, risk a, what does because I post swimsuits and whatnot, and because I, you know, own my sexy which I

think I'm allowed to do. And she said, yeah, you know, so maybe we should post more pictures of like you with the boys, you know, at home doing some cooking or baking together, you know, the kids on the playground. That will probably diversify your page and make it then more you know, appetizing and appealing to these brands. So I kind of was like, all right, UM, process that for a second, and I'm like, you know what, that's cool.

Let me call up my photographer and I was like, you know what, we can plant some kids centered activities that we can then post you know, me doing or post me in the kitchen and whatnot, because that's what I guess moms are supposed to do. Right then, I was like, it's not that. What I'm not gonna do is now curtail my content to then put up this facade or this image of what they feel a mother is, and I'm not gonna, you know, be in the realm of what that is to them who are where these

said brands are. And it was so funny because literally a couple of minutes later, my husband sitting next to me on the couch and I hadn't told him about this conversation I'm having via text with our manager. So he busts out laughing and I'm like, what are you laughing at? So he shows me a d M from someone person that follows I guess, the both of us. And it's a screenshot of a photo that I posted in a swimsuit and I was posing on a rock.

You know, I dropped it because y'all know I drop it. Okay, that's just something that I do on demand at any given time. Um, because you know my NY's work. Do you know my husband likes it? So they sent the picture to my husband and then said, Wow, look at your wife posing on this rock. Why do you allow her to do things like that? Allow is the key word there. So I'm gonna just leave storytime right there,

and we're gonna come back and discuss it. All right, y'all karaoke time, And if you have read the description of today's episodes, you might know who I have coming on to Mike, because I mean, listen, let's face it, When I have such talent in my space, why would I get on the microphone and attempt to do anything but talk to y'all. So that being said, I'm going to turn it over to one of our amazing guests that I have today with me that I'm happy to

welcome back to the show. What's what's she gonna? What's she gonna sing for us today? Man? Well, you know, since all these people want to be coming and giving their opinions, we're gonna take it a little pop rock and we're gonna tell them it's my life, Hey do to fucking last time I checked? Oh, it's my life all right? Now? All right, I don't know what the last line is there, but it's my life. Mind your business, that's it. That's it. Let me tell you this has

been a long time coming. Okay, guys, because I've wanted Ashley and I had to get on this podcast together. And I knew she had to come on for a girl's episode because the thing I admire and love so much about you, Ashley, um with your presence on social media, because that's for the most part where I found you with the accept seeing you at the Black Love Summit a couple. Is it a year now? I think so?

Who knows because this has been an um but since then I've been You're one of my favorite follows on Instagram. So you'll have to me. She'll get her handles and stuff at the end of the show. But Ashley Chia, please tell us who you are, what you do, your superpower? That's all the question. Well, first, my name is Ashley Chia. I'm originally from Columbus, Ohio. I've been living in Cali for six years. I'm a former ballet dancer. I'm a writer and author, a mother of three daughters. Um, I'm

currently working on a TV S group, which is amazing. So, like, I think that's important. I always say that so I can make habit put it out there baby. Yeah, so I'm mostly a writer, but I mean, you know what, my best friend's dad called me an instigator of change. Yes, I like to push people to be better and to just you know, like, let's question things and not just be followers. So I love that, feel like that's my

purpose in life. I appreciate that about she actually, and we have a Sagittarius Capricorn situation here right now on my mom to Capricorn, my grandmother is so I'm always in good company with amazing Capricorn women. I mean, y'alla, so your mom's just killed. She was a better woman than me. I will say that and do my a lest now back back on the show it Melanie Fiona, Hey, hey, what's on? Just craving a routy and a double quick so I even find it me to jeez, well, yes,

I that's that's my part time voice, Melanie Fiona. What's up everybody? Um? Singer, songwriter, mother, wellness advocate. Um, I am a cancer so you know we'd be in the field, would be in the film my sister. But uh but really I'm just like my passion really is is community, and my passion is vulnerability, and my passion is allowing women to feel strong through vulnerability, and that's kind of

what motherhood has taught me. That's what my career has taught me, and that's what you beautiful women have taught me. So um, I'm happy to be back. This is this is fun. The last time I was here, we got into deep conversations about marriage, which my wedding did not happen. We're all together, we're still together, but you know COVID. COVID had other plans for our wedding dates, so that

was the last time we spoke. But we're right. We were actually having like our like a bridle shower episode because it was supposed to be for Mel's wedding and all of that has gone to ship. However, we still got our man's We still got the man and the same amount of children. So because you know, there's a lot of there's a lot of COVID babies happening right now, it was safe to say. And last was certainly not least be gross. Nan, I'm sorry, but gross, I should

say not gross? Dr Gross? Was my dentist be gross? Yeah? I love it, So tell us tell us little about who you are back. Well, my name's Beck. I'm a cancer, that amazing energy cancer. We have a lot of cancers in my family. Lance as a cancer cancer, my cancer, and my sister and sisters in law they're twins, there are cancer. We have all those birthdays in one week. But it's great. I'm a wardrobe stylist, fashion stylist. I'm a mother of two. I have a son who's two

years old. I have a daughter who's five going on six, really going on fifteen, like you know mothers of daughters now. Um, but yeah, I mean, I'm in the fashion world. But what my true passion is is helping women and uplifting women. And my hopes is always to use my platform to do that. And you show you're an advocate because your platform to say that about yourself just say for you, thanks an advocate and you shall follow her. Yes, all

things amazing, all things of the fight. Yes, I guess it just like naturally happens and it's you know, it's just fighting for what's right. And yes, this some stuff you just can't fake. It is what it is, you know what I mean? And I love that you embrace that and you're empowering on through that. Um. I'm like that's happening where I was like, you know, let me go to backs page. I know she posted about it, So I love that. I mean, think about this energy.

I could just feel it in the room and we've, like Melanie said, I don't know this off camera before or not, but the fact that we can gather together in a space like this, I think it's amazing. So thank you again for being here. You bringing U no doubt. But listen, I'm gonna go back to the story. Sound real quick rewind. So, yes, the the phrase you allow your wife that word to do this? Did that struggle? That struggle chord with you all? Because I felt it,

you know, I was looking to my left. How did that make you feel? Actually? When when people say your husband allows you to do something, well, I'm a Capricorn, so no one allows me to do anything. Okay, um, but it's interesting that you say that too, because I had to go on a journey of submission anyways, and what that means, and there's beauty in it. Because I was raised my father's in my life, I always have to say that same so I'm here is something and

I said I was raised by a single mom. He gets mad but I was raised primarily by my mom because that's who I lived with primarily. But my dad was definitely in my life. But I think that played a role in me being able to receive information from in any way and being told what to do and being led by a man. So I definitely had to go on a journey of being able to just accept

advice or anything from males. But when I went into my relationship with my husband, we were friends for four years prior to us being together, so I think that helped with us being very candid and open and honest with each other. Um, but he I don't let anyone tell me what to do, like he knows he has to strongly suggest something and leave it on the table

and then let me come back to it. So I felt a way about that because I think people really believe that, and some people believe that, and that's fine. I don't believe that I am my husband's property or that he owns me, or that he tells me what to do. I think we are two equal souls, and there's parts of him that he's better at things than me, and vice versa, and we feed off of one another.

I don't live in a household of gender roles. Either it's like whoever's better equipped to do something, that's the person who does in that moment, So there it's not. And then when it comes to like how I express myself, he doesn't have a say so in that, do you know what I mean? Like because I would never tell him what to do, Like he doesn't even tell me like how to wear him. I actually don't even ask

him his opinion about stuff because I don't care. I love that, which is my husband would agree, and he would be like, you know what, actually, thank you for admitting that, because with me, I'll ask for the opinion just because I tend to be a little bit more indecisive, sound like what do you think stud earrings? Or and then and I'll go with my decisions. I want to hear. I want to hear your opinion. How do you hear?

I'm gonna do any I got an argument for whatever you said that, whatever you chose, I got a reason why I should be the other one. So that's funny. My husband is actually the opposite though, Like he literally asked me my opinion about everything, and it drives me crazy. I'm like, well, what do you want to do, like I don't even like when people ask me for advice, sometimes because I'm like, do you not what is in your spear? It? Mostly because I just want him to

be him, like I love you. I don't care about any of that, you know what I mean? Like what pants you wear? By all his clothes anyway, So whatever you wears, will we fly. I made sure that already love it doesn't matter because it's from an already approve arsenal exactly. I love that. So the dynamics are very different. What I appreciate about my husband is that he actually empowers me as well to be who I am. I would like to say that he hopefully fell in love

with me for the person that I am. So I will say that eighteen year old Codine is not twenty eight year old Cadine. It is not Codeine today, um not quite thirty eight. But you know we're pacing ourselves there, We're pacing ourselves. So how do you guys feel about that? Melanie in back? Either you can jump in about this whole. You know what your husband allows you to do? How

does it work within your household? In dynamic? I think the word allow is a trigger, right like I think that's the problem because I think that that you know, like I do care about what my husband has to think, and he cares about what I have to think, and I'm open to a discussion, and I'm open to a conversation, and like, you know, I think allow is this is the trigger word because you know, there's certain things like if I just decided that I want to go out

and get drunk every single night and he doesn't approve of that, I might consider that right, right, And so I think consideration and partnership and like you know, when we hear aloud that we're taught that that's like allowance and permission is given from parents, and like that's not my parents, that's my partners, you know. So I mean that's how I feel the healthiest relationships are is that it is a partnership. Just like you said, there's no

there's no like gender assignment as far as roles. Like it's like, um, if you're equipped to do something, then you do it and I give you, I give you, um, I give you freedom to be that and do that. And so yeah, I think the word allow is like this very old, antiquated, very judgmental, like what will the neighbors think type mentality and growing up with Caribbean parents, I mean I was subjected to that a lot of

my life. They always worried about what Paula and Paul thinking anything, So you know, it's not like Paul and Paul right, So so yeah, I just think for I think it's that allow. Allow is the word that allow. I mean pretty much to take off a little bit from what each of you have said, like the allow. It reminds me when it came in my wedding to recite our vows and the pastor said, you know the traditional thing that pastor says, and it was like to

honor and obey and it was to me. And it's actually a funny moment in our video because it's like obey. It's like there's like like a little bit of a It was obey and I literally made this face like right, and you know, it gathered the laugh people were laughing

because it was just that specific word. Of course, I'm going to consider what my husband feels or things, right, like like what you said Melanie about the consideration right that, Um, there are certain things I just would not do out of considerations for my husband out of respect for what I know his beliefs are not because I'm not allowed right and again like I'm not your child. You know. The funny thing is I said to Devoto because we

joked about, you know, this conversation. Of course, after you know, the DM comes up, that was just like did they know that I held up the reflective so we could shine on the booty? And then he was like, you better press that. Maybe you better own it because the only person that had many sons as far as I know it was Abraham, father Abraham and is one of them. So what you're not gonna do is tell me, you

know what I mean? My thing too, is it bothers me when not only just between women and men, but when we talk about allow this fan, he probably allows certain people that he looks up to in the celebrity world for to be okay with certain people, right like you know, you know Kim and Kanye, or you can name other people who the men glorify their women and their sexuality and people don't necessarily it's not necessarily converse

station piece. But then when it applies to, like you said, somebody who's expected this weird expectation of what it means to be a mother and this and that, and it's supposed to fit this mold. But and yet that's not allowed quote unquote, But how does that make any sense? It doesn't, you know what I mean, it doesn't make any sense. I think that post is a good question.

It's like UK based off on Deval and I and and the way we are, you know, um on social media and sharing our narrative, sharing our story and being on black Glove for example, are they holding us to a different regard Maybe they see me doing that, But I feel like, you know, but this is who I am though, Like my husband embraces my sexy and he

wants me. I feel like it's exactly the point of this entire podcast today is they were probably introduced to you as a wife and mother exactly, and whereas other people we might be introduced as to you know, it's a vixen, it's a singer. She's in conscience all the time. That's cool for her. For Lopez, she gonna be on Superball as long as she was after. We're going to glorify her body. She's stifty. Look at her, and that

is glorified. Never nobody's doubting her parenting skills moment, right, That's okay, But then all of a sudden, you're not allowed to have a sexy photo where you look incredible, and you should be confident and feeling amazing about yourself and unapologetic. That's your prerogative, because, let's face it, after having all these babies, if you can then be confident enough to come back and say, you know, like, hey,

I'm taking care of myself. Whatever that looks like to me, I want to be able to share it, because let's fix ou. A lot of people are also looking to be inspired by your content as well too, so for the mom who may be struggling with the postpartum depression, or the mom who now has the saggy boobs after breastfeeding, or children, whatever the case may be, there can be a strength in that that we should be able to

support each other through it. You know, um, Ashley, when it comes to you having three girls now, because we talked about the dynamic being different here with bec having a boy and a girl, mellow boy, I have three boys with a girl. Are you super conscious about the way you carry yourself and maybe even portray yourself? Your kids are kind of young for social media, But um, do you take into account how you conduct yourself on a day to day basis, even just around your husband

with your girls. I mean I do. I think, Um, it's interesting because I was raised Muslim and so, um, my dad is Christian, my mom is Muslim. So I literally had to go to church every Sunday and I had to go to the mosque every Friday. Get a loaded weekend, tony. And then my mom is like super worldly, so she was making us going to like hirry Christian houses. And then she used to be Jewish. It's just a lot so like what your mom used to be Jewish and then Catholic and she's an Aquari. I was like,

I don't know, Aquarius. I don't know if that helps you understand. She's like I would call her the black Mrs Frizzle from the Magic School Bus. That's my mom. And in the Tide I ad dress. Um, she's the visual right now right there. But no, I think because of that, I went through a journey anyways about what it meant to express myself as a woman. And just I used to wear a hejab for a long time until I was like twelve, so like for me, I've always been I don't like the term tom boy, but

I've always been more mass killing. I guess you should say whatever that means, I just wear baggy clothes, you know what I mean? Um that that just always translated more with me. I felt more comfortable that way because I didn't really grow up being able to show a lot of my body anyway. It's weird because I feel the most beautiful when I'm actually more clothed and when

I have on like bagg ear clothes. Um. And so I've had to go through my own personal journey of being comfortable showing myself or just like wearing tighter things and what that meant to me. So it for me, I don't even feel like I consciously think like what is my child going to think of this? Because I already feel confident in the woman that I am, that

I am respectful and I'm honoring myself. And I think it's like with my daughter, it's so funny, like it's just a lot of like mixed up things, Like at first I felt like I with my older she's eleven, she wanted to wear like a crop top, and I find myself saying things and then I have to go back and think like why did why did like why did I say that? Do you know what I mean? Like, no, that's inappropriate ba And I'm like, but it's yea honestly, rather be weird. I when you're living your stomach is

bomb right now. We have attachment, Yes, yes they have knowledge and like you know, I saw somebody posts about red nail polish. How that was like for only Yes, it's like we have to unlearned. But you also know who your daughter is exactly you know what I mean? Because I'm not gonna lie, like I know a few family members who had their daughters running around and crop

tops their fasts. Now I'm not we all know that family member where you're like you see the writing on the wall where like they put so much, like at a young age, into like the sexuality of themselves, which I feel like, okay, there's there's there's a time and place to empower. But like but like, but stand down. So this is what I'm saying, Like you know who a mirror is, you know what I mean? So you know that it comes from style. You know that it comes like it's not coming from I'm trying to be

fast and like show more in my body. You know, it's really innocent for her, and that's why I had to check myself because she loves fact like I don't. I love men's wear, do you know what I mean? But like she loves fashion. So were you the mom that your girls were wearing boy and girl clothes, like, you know, like their clothes from the boy section, just because I don't want my daughters having like unicorns with sparkles coming out their ass. But with Amra, I definitely

she's eleven years old. I've definitely been learning more about myself. Like she always wants to play and makeup and stuff. At first, I was like, and I'm like, she's an artist, She's a pisces. She loves to draw, like she just likes to be creative, also spear and stuff, you know what I mean. Like I just let her be and exist, and I felt like the my main goal is to just engage with her and the things that she finds interesting because like you said, I know that I'm raising

her with a good conscious level. And for me, it's more about like respecting herself and honoring herself and understanding the importance and value of herself and that it should not be shared with everyone whatever dynamic that means, you know what I mean, and also being mindful, like I let her wear cross that is not really a cross up, but it was like this when she lit her right. I see you uplift or eleven year old all the time and encourage her, like you big her up, like

you'd be gassing here. You'd be like, oh my baby, so and it's so, it's it's really beautiful. It's really important, and I hope you know that that's actually really important for empowering young women because again, like I love my mom, she did such a great job of raising us, but my mom also became a wife and a mother at nineteen and in the Caribbean, and so like her her whole judgment over the perception of what it is like.

And it's so funny that she was so strict with me, Like my mom did not let me cut my hair. I mean my hair was down in my ask till I was twelve. She with neither my mom to me, I was gonna get cancer. I'm done crazy, I was rais. She just said it shave your legs, you're gonna get you know, old school boys. But you know it's so funny, is that like my mom ironically, because I played sports really young, so like I was, I was running across country like eight, but I had hair on my legs

and I actually became very self conscious. And I'll never forget this. My mother shaved my legs for me, and I remember being like, oh my gosh. But this was the woman that would never let me wear my hair down. This was the woman that would never let me like be too brazen, like that was always it's lasted, vain like all these things. But it's like you want me to have this long hair, but you don't want me to like you don't want me to revere it, like but you want me to have heaven, you know what

I mean. Like, but it was controlled like the deep, the deep like psychological thing about this is that I'm gonna give you all this, but I'm going to restrict it. It's always going to be in a braid. That's how my hair was all the time. And so like even like sexuality and like like owning that sexy, like I had to break free from my house in order to really start to become my own woman because to delve into what that meant for me, and and because like

it was not encouraged, It was not encouraged. And like I had an older brother who was always trying to hold me down because he was like, you're my little sister. So if I find out you're dat anybody, I'm gonna break his in your legs. Like my mom was so strict about like the way little girls should be, you know, like this this whole thing. And now my brother has three daughters, and you know, this generation is just so progressive.

They are so like, we don't see, we don't judge, we don't label, we don't so they're constantly schooling My parents left now and it's like really beautiful to see, but it really does take a learning when you are brought up a different way and you have to change that for your kids. Yeah, it's funny how grandparents that were so much more lenient because we're such my mother with my children, I'm like, who is this? Who are you?

Where is the woman that raised me? So since we're talking about wardrobe, beck, you're being a stylist, a wardrobe stylist. There's a company recently that launched a new children's line modeled after um women's wear. You want to see it? I don't even I don't know what's so pretty much, it's a it's a brand that um shows women's clothing. They sell women's clothing more provocative, fitted crop tops, this, that, and now they have made children's clothes after the brand.

So many of the outfits are in my opinion, kind of risque for a child, for a little girl. But so I say that to say, my husband talks about this imaginary daughter that we do have, that she will not stop at this place. Let's let's putting stuff in the atmosphere. So he always says, you know what, I don't want to happen when I have this child, this daughter, Um, I don't want her ring bikinis. I don't want her rain this because of the way we over sexualize our

little girls. So this particular brand now has clothing that mimics that of a woman and thinking the poses that they had the little girls and provocative. Do you notice any of that in the world of wardrobe and styling and how that affects children now in media? I notice it in the media absolutely. I notice it. As my daughter gets older and has her own opinion and wants to express herself. Um, you know, when she's two three

and before, I'm the one dressing her. So it's like we're going to be in this cute little Sarah outfit. This is that. But now she is a lot like how I was when I was little. She sketches, like as she was saying, her daughter daughter does sketches wardrobe and clothes all day long. And I used to do the same when I was her age. She has, you know, a top with a skirt and a distance at that, and it really is a form of expression for her.

So yes, in absolutely is a fine line. And it's hard as a parent to find a balance, you know, she you know, you can't protect just from what's out there, you know what I mean. Like she's hearing songs on the radio, even if it's a radio edit. Oh who who's that artist? I want to know who that? I want to know more. It's very innocent. I want to know who she is. I want to you know, I like her music, I like to draw, I like this

or that. And I mean, as a parent, it really is my job to navigate that and navigate it in a balanced way. When it comes to her personally expressing herself.

Through wardrobe and fashion, because, like we were discussing earlier, especially with girls, you know, they are looking at us, and of course, you know, of course I walk out the door in a fashionable outfit when I'm going somewhere, you know, and she also sees me at home when I'm not and I'm gonna And another thing that I like to make an effort with her, um is that you know, looking nice or putting on makeup or getting dressed isn't just for like, I don't like to only

do that for special occasions, quote unquote, because I don't want her to feel like that's the only time that you are special is when you're done up. It's going to put on your lip gloss for your your clothing and your hair, you know what I mean. So like that's a conversation that's been a very deliberate thing in our household, which is, you know, she had a year a couple of years ago where she was really into straight hair and I was like, oh, that's a whole

separate combo. But it was very stressful. I think I might have talked to you about how I was really stressed for like four months because that's all she saw in the Disney movies, Tiana is the only black girl had a right exactly. She was a frog movie that. So that was like a discussion of like when was the time or the appropriate time for her to get her hair straight? And you know, we actually ended up doing it during quarantine. Um, I blow dry her hair

and I strained it just to braid it. It actually wasn't for her to wear it out. And I let a rocket for a dance. Very excited about it, but it was a regular Tuesday we're at the house. I didn't hype anything up about it being special, much more beautiful.

It's just versatility and different. And I like to apply the same to the wardrobe in the fashion and that hey like, yeah, you can totally express yourself through that, and she really does, and that's I mean, it can be a thing because she comes out the closet and she's like, I want I want to wear this. I wanted this with that because that was in me sometimes not even having anything to do with being provocative provocative, but I'm like, god, this doesn't matter. Oh my god, girl,

if you feel good. So it's like you know that balance of driving home there like I want you to feel good. I want you to express yourself for sure.

I need to like just zip it for a second and let you do you yes, but then yes, as a parent, of course, I'm going to navigate if something is inappropriate for a five year old, because I've seen some people say on that like if I showed up to set and my daughter to look like and dressed like, then chances are so I would update on the photo because I'm just seeing the photo for the first time. There's a lot of mesh. It was, it was, you

know what it is. It's because women nowadays are they have so much exposure to fashion and these particular brands, and now it's like, oh my gosh, I want my daughter to dress just like me and but the match. But I'll be the magic. But I'll be honest, Like, see, I have a son and I like to dress like a boy too, so like I wear the same hoodie as my son. But it's unfortunately different for girls. And

it just gets that way. And especially we have a society that we have not gotten to that place of trust where we can allow our young daughters to be in the space of vulnerability to predators. And this is just what it is. Okay, that ultimately, and so when we're when they're young, as parents, we have the job of doing that. We make those decisions. That's what I say about the navigating. It's like, you know, you show me that, No, Berkeley will never be right, will Berkeley

being a crop top? Yes, with a little oversized I think I just posted something oversized like but highways cargoes because and she everybody's cute, but it's fashionable, makes expressing herself, you know, in you know, in our household and in our industry, it's totally appropriate. Um, but it is our job to navigate it. And sometimes she does come with a crop top and little shorts and this or that, and we say, hey, can we just can we swamp

off the pan? Right? We did? What I got away from his telling her stuff is exactly the conversation that I had with her is this because she's at and so I was like, listening to me, or there are sexual predators, there's men out there here inappropriate And I said, for me, it's not about you can't wear it. I said, you have to be able to deal with the attention that comes with when you have it on. I said, right, I said, so when you wear certain things, like because

I don't want her to ever feel that way. And I also don't want to make it seem like women that dress a certain way are deserving a certain treaming or that they should be judged. I don't like that. What I'm saying is that, like when they talk to you with your husband and damns, you're a grown woman. You can deal with that, Like I don't care about

that man. But for her, it's like I don't want you to have any attention that you can't personally deal with as you're growing immature, and that stuff affects them their self esteem and just in general. Like if I, well, she would never I'm a helicopter, she wouldn't be gonna worry about me anyway. But you know what I mean, Like if she's just out with her friends or like playing outside, I just don't want that for her, So she she understands that I'm it's not wrong, it's not

bading a straight hair thing like I had to. So when I I've always wore my hair natural and curly, I've never had to relax her any thing like that. But like when I pregnant with her, I started flating on my hair a lot, because we all know it's just easier. I don't care what nobody says. It doesn't mean we don't love our black hair with don't your hair you wrap it and unwrap it every day for like two weeks. Yes, it's just more, Yes, more manageable.

That's the word I should say. Yes, it's right, it's less that we all know we need left. I was when I had her, and I didn't want to do my hair, you know what I mean, it's so. But she was like four and she was like, Mommy, I want to have straight hair like you who got straight hair. Like what are you talking about? You know? I was like, oh, I stopped flatting in my hair. I never flat out on it again after that. And I had to wear it curly because I wanted if I'm telling her, I

want you love her. And then as she got older, then I'm like, it's fun to flatter on your hair sometimes, but just like you, I will not let her do it for like Christmas or if we went for a hot like when I got married, make sure that her hair was curly, because I want her to feel like your hair is beautiful and can be worn yess not not special occasion, right, you know what I mean in a mood and now that's where she's at with it, you know what I mean, Like now I let her

flatter on her hair, but also I'm like, listen, it affects your curls. It's going to affect your curl pattern. Like all of these things are important for her to understand. So with the education, it's not judging our kids and making them feel bad for wanting things that are just a form of creativity. The appreciate point that you say is probably like my biggest rule at the house, you know,

and even at a young age. My daughter is only five, but we have conversations all the time, and I just wanted to understand the route whatever it is you kids. I love that kids. It's not about to say Melanie, you probably can relate to this and that I grew up in a household where it was just like, you know,

this is just what it is. Conversations were not really a thing to necessarily explain in detail why there was a method to this madness and parents had so I feel like our generation is very deliberate about having those conversations very openly and encompassing the entire thing. So with Ashley, it's not just matter of like having straight here on occasion, because it's like here here, like girl, your curl pattern is gonna be like that, like keep doing it if

you want to. But I think then there's a greater understanding that the kids can say, all right, well there's a method to this madness. Mom is not just crazy. I mean, there's actually a whole entire story here. This is what I want to say. The three of you are probably, um, not more advanced, but like, um, the fact that you all think that way is really dope because my mom actually did raise me that way. She

I was gonna say. My mom was like, yes, everything was a discussion, even like I was just telling my homeboy real the other day, like my mom was playing Bob Dylan and she was like loosening the sky like you know that, keep talking about cocaine. Like my mom was always like music is art, like she was. It was amazing, It was real. It was amazing. Explain everything to me other than the shaving your leg you're gonna get cancer thing being petty. But other than that, my

mom she even told me I'll never forget. My mom was like you know, I don't want you to have sex. You need to honor your body. I want you the way she said, But if you ever have sex, you come and talk to me. I want to make sure you're okay. So if you ever get pregnant, come and talk to me. I want to make sure you Yeah, my mom talked to me about ever real I would be honest. I have never had to talk with my mother and I got a whole man and a child

it out idea. I don't think my mom knows when I lost my virginity, Like I never went to her at the hospital with me, because after I did, I told her and she's like, well, we need to make sure you're okay. And she took me to get a check up, and there was like no shade, okay. I was eighteen. She still was sad. She was like, I wish she would have waited you were married, but she was like, I just need to make sure you're safe. Because my mom was a young mom. She she had

my brother the first when she lost her virginia. She got pregnant with my older brother. She was twenty. She did n't up taking him, moving away from her family, take him to call she had no support. You know, he was deliberate about me. Yes, you know, sometimes people either continue a pattern or that my mom was a breaker of pattern. Yeah, we probably did. Story. She wrote the pattern. She grew up not having any communication. She grew up um not being verbally lifted by her mom

just put down a lot. So with me, it was a lot of lots of words of affirmation and that's my love language now. So I feel like the skills that I do have came from her. And in my situation, there was definitely still the It wasn't like the mom like there were like no rules right right, friends, It was definitely she was my mom, definitely exactly. I never yeah we got that level. I never got a whooping, But I didn't get my mom's white. Oh okay, remember that.

Maybe my mom was like that she's white. One wasn't again, if anything, it was like one speah, like use a firm voice back to do like that though, but you you but listen, I was gonna say this when you were saying something earlier. Black parenting, black existence is rooted in trauma, and even though you're from the Islands, it's the same. But they dropped off a different location, and so a lot of things that happened in the black community.

Unfortunately our parents weren't given the opportunity. And I always say this, like because even though my mom is biracial, like I know, like how black I am whatever, I still exist as a black woman, you know what I mean. I know I have other heritage, but I don't have the luxury of being just carefree all the time. And I tell my husband that, like it must be nice to just not care and just get me polite and happy all the time. But I couldn't. I grew up

in the hood. First of all, you don't smile. The people in the hood like you you gotta meet my other dude, so they know. They don't try you. Like, if you smile, that's like an invitation, Like, don't come across the street. I'm not nice. Yeah that's me, that's me, you know. But like you have to be rough and tough and to survive, and so we don't always get the luxury even when you were staying like your mom's like how they were about your hair. It's because little

black girls were sexualized. They were taken from plantations, they were taking and molested and married off and traffic now, yes, So imagine back then when you had zero rights. So the way they parented their children and their daughters was out of survival. They're teaching you to survive in this world. Was the least amount of anything happening to you, just

to how we are with our kids. Like I always say, you see kids in the restaurant, and it was always usually white kids, like running around, being carefree, throwing it across the table, and like your parents like don't move, don't talk, like you can't breath. You're like in a damn military, you know what I mean, Because they were fearful, and the and the judgment part of it, just like don't be acting a certain way the way that they

expect to act. Like. You know, it's like the little black boy in school gets gets labeled as problematic when he's bored and really right and he's really a genius. You know. It's it's a it's a lot of unlearning.

But it's interesting because as I've gotten older, like and I have found my own independence, and I now i'm a mother and I'm as a child, I really do understand and have more compassion for my mom because I give them so much great, because I'm just like, I can't even imagine what it was like, and like how far that they've come, Like how far she's how now that like, I feel more confident with myself to sit and have woman to woman conversations. And that took, that

took a really identifiable moment. It was when it became a mother. It turns out I was just like, listen, I will always be your daughter, but I am a woman now and I'm a mother now, and I need you to respect me and I need us to interact

as such. My mom and I had a conversation recently where she unpacked some things about herself and her life that really made me understand so much more so much more so much more about her and what makes her tick and why she made the decisions that she made, and why she she moved a certain kind of way that I will admit I used to judge her from imagine sad you know, maybe the way you parent your kids now, Like imagine had she had that skill at that time, just be like, hey, I'm not just telling

you don't straighten your hair, don't wear a crop top. There is something behind it right this, and you know, ABC Listen, I love that she did that because then I was able to just see a little bit of a weight lifted off, and I just felt like, Okay, Mom, like this is cool, Like this is what we're doing in this generation now, Like I know you might have

been taught this all your life, but it's okay. Like I feel like I want to provide a safe space for my mom to be able to say, you know, Okay, this is why things are the way they are when it came to certain things that we were talking about, you know. And it's funny because then I always look at her and I have those moments where I'm just like, damn, I'm like we have more a light than after you have those moments where you're like I'm turning into my mom.

That drove me crazy about your Don't let your husband say you just like your mom? Right, don't you do? Don't you don't because you really try to say it, like don't you match your mom? I'd like, do you want to stay married? The best part is that my husband mama across country with no one, and I'm like, you live with your mother in law and a road, Like that's admirable because that's Mama. It is, but it but also he also knows what's good for his marriage.

That is because now you got help and now you can get away and you can have his baby daddy. Shout out to the grandma from the baby daddies. Though, So, going back to sexuality and how we got here to have all these children, apparently there was something that attracted our husband's Apparently what I mean these baby daddies. You know, we was we was throwing it up and it was catching right, so that I was not right, and we

meditated our baby physical interaction. But I love it, said, how are you guys with each other in the house in front of the children, Because that's one thing that my husband and I also have gotten criticism about. You know, in a video he woke up behind me slap my ask because he does that several times a day and that's one of his ways of that's his love language. I mean, so like, you know, does your ask its slapped randomly back? You know during the day, what does

that look like? Literally not even a conversation. It's the non verbal right like with like with the kids. Obviously Berkeley is old enough to even observe. She knows that's just what brown folks. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's not it's not In my opinion, that's absolutely not inappropriate. The same way kissing and showing affection, in my opinion, it's not inappropriate. I know people who for me, my parents weren't together, so I didn't grow up seeing any

affection because my parents weren't together. Um. But you know, I have friends who have grown up in households and they never saw their parents be affectionate or even and they didn't notice it until later in life where they kind of look back like, wow, like did y'all even look like were you just kind of going through the motions of a family and just sort of like stuck or in And then how that affects them now as an adult interactions with the you know, their personal exactly.

And so I think modeling is huge. You know, guys write what does it do? I mean, say, how does that do? But I do? And what the same time the same is that different for you? Like do you have a little boy? Because we have free boys, you have a boy, So knowing how boys should conduct themselves when it comes to little girls, it's also a very big topic for us to I haven't gotten there yet

we're very grateful, worried about no girls. Right, if Jared slaps my ask, Cam thinks it's hilarious, like he thinks it's actually really funny, but you know it's really it's funny because I'll share this story because it's perfectly relative. The other night, Jared and I like, because Cam he just will not stay in his bed, like he wakes up Garrett, like if he goes to sleep at eight thirty nine o'clock, it's like that twelve thirty one a m. It's like he he goes up topstairs, he says, guys,

it's time to go to bed now. He tries to parent us. Right. So one night we were like, oh, we haven't even had some time together. So we were like, let's go to sleep early. So we ended up taking the shower together, me and Jared, right, but we like

did not hear Cameron wake up. He busted in the room and like we were we weren't even doing anything christ We were having a conversation about the day, like it was p G when we were in there together and Cameron walked in and saw us in the shower and he was just like, mom, Dad, it's time to go to bed, like phase, you know what. I looked at him, and I just looked at Jared and I was just like, you know what, it's like, Mom and

dare taking a shower. There's nothing wrong with this. They're having more on it, more context behind it when the kids just kind of like, he was just like my dad love each other. They sleep in the same bed, they're affectionate. Like it didn't be like what are you guys doing in the show. And I actually felt like that's a win, Like I want him to know that his parents love each other and they're intimate and they

you know, he doesn't need to see it. But but I just love that there was no yeah, he wasn't. He wasn't like, there was no like, yeah, he was just like, okay, Mom, Dad's time to go to bed, like y'all in the showers. Behind that, yeah, I love that. But you know, Devalene are very conscious because Jackson, now he's getting older, he's not and he does see us always,

you know, displaying affection with each other. And recently, actually he was Jackson would hate me for telling the story, but recently he was at you know, a neighbor's house and whatnot. And they were sitting watching the TV and he must have like went to put his arm like kind of around her just because like that's what he sees like being a colligent as a gentleman, and like,

you know, um, of course he was in a supervised environment. Naturally, we trust you know that they find they were in the living room and everything common space, but it was just that, you know, he felt like, okay, because dad does this with mom, like that's just what people do. But then it had to be a conversation with human devout after like, so I understand that you've seen this with you know, mommy and daddy, but now we need

to unpack what this is for a boundaries. That's a conversation of boundaries, Like you know what I said, boundaries. All that conversation had to come up. And I was almost like in tears over this because I'm like, wait a second, like why are we having this conversation? Like you know, and and some parents may just last it off and say, oh, it was a funny kid moment.

But a black boy in America, Okay, what we're not going to do is just have them just doing stuff which to them may be innocent but can totally be. But no, boys should be your parenting parenting that there is a privilege that does come with whiteness and lightness, do you know what I mean? And that often puts but just cidebar. That is why people have those experiences when they work incorporated, because when people have never been told that that's not okay, they're really like, what do

you mean? I can't say that to you or touch you that way or whatever. So everyone should be parenting their sons the way like all races. That should be a conversation that happens. Yes, yes, it's super important. And I don't think that there are just those moments where the conversation arises like its innocent. It was innocent when he did that, and that was a perfect opening for you to now educate conversation contact right, So it's not like unloading just randomly. It's like we have also had

a policy. It's like you see it, you say it, they don't delay, let's not talk about it later. And I had that within our relationships and we carry our children the same way. So it's like in this moment, you understand how it felt right, You understand that it may have been good or bad, whatever the case may be. But we talked about it in that moment. I think that's so important across the board. Whether it's girls you have,

whether it's boys you have, all that good. Although I will be calling you in in six years, girl, how do we handle this? I mean, speaking of that, I think we might as well, Ashley, you would be I got three boys, you've got three girls. I totally understand why people arrange marriages because I want to make sure that you know. I mean, I don't have a daughter in law. She got to be from that. I say

that all the time too. I was like one of my first I was like, nah my daughter Mary, Yeah, yeah, Like you kind have been cool now, but you look raggedy. So we don't know what girls, this has been such a great conversation. I'm like clocking the time here and I don't want this to be I can't hold you'll hostage. I want to say something. I want to say something about finding the sexy because I think it's really important.

I remember, like this came for me in a therapy session with my therapist, and this therapy it is the thing, okay, and so something that this the therapist told me this was like three years ago, and I when I was two years ago, and I remember I was just feeling

I was like, I just don't know. I just I'm not feeling confident about myself and like, you know, and I was telling her, I was like, I feel like I'm lacking the discipline, like I say that I want to be a certain size or look a certain way, but like I showed up here with the muffin, right and she was just like, you're trying to control the situation because you feel out of control. So you eating the muffin makes you feel in control because you don't

feel like you're in control otherwise. And so she was like, I want you to stop waiting to feel good about yourself. And I was like, it's on the other side. She was just like I don't care. She's like, stop waiting to get to a size, to go buy the outfit that you deserve. She's like, go find an outfit right

now that makes you feel sexy. That wasn't me. Yes, So when I was pregnant with my last daughter, because I definitely suffered from body dysmorphy from ballet, so I always think that I'm bigger than I really am um, and because I was dancing all day long, I never had to go to the gym. So even after I like stopped doing ballet, I had to learn how to work out. Make that because my lifestyle was working out. So I worked out a lot with the first two with because I said it was so close. They were

like twenty months apart. Um I had like this pelvic separation thing that it was hurting, so I couldn't work out a lot because I could barely walk. And I only gained twenty five pounds when I was pregnant, but it didn't matter, like I didn't gain the weight until after I had her because I was still injured. So normally I would just start working out. So I'm still eating breastfeeding and I gained like thirty pounds, and but when I was pregnant, I was still feeling like not

my best. And Melanie was like, Ashley, you need to love yourself, and I was like, I don't have nothing fits. She said, then go buy something that fits you and feel good about how and even after where she said something to me again because I said something to her

about it. But it's really hard to like love yourself when you have an idea of how you used to look or what you know, what I I mean like that is a real journey of accepting the way you look, accepting stretch marks, accepting that your breast don't look the same, all of that, and then finding things that fit you

and make you feel good with somebody. Because as a stylist, obviously I address people of all different sizes, but my main thing is really and truly people feeling good about the exactly And I actually did this i G TV episode um of like just a little talk with my

best friend, and it's that exact topic. It's about dressing for your dress y you never know who you're I literally saw it and was like that a lot of people, a lot of people weren't thinking that way because they're thinking about the way that you're describing, which is how you feel after especially after you have a child. Body is completely different and you don't know how to dress

your body and maybe don't feel confident. Nothing fits. And like you said, you think happiness is once you lose the weight, once you get to a place that and it's like why sitting that for year one, year two, year three, when hey, why don't you find something and that fits right now, and don't let the number. That was like one of the main topics of the number, the number, like oh, I used to be a size and now I'm thirty two, Like there's nothing wrong with that.

And sometimes the confidence can actually come from just yes, embracing that moment and putting the effort into that moment into very so I would not buy I'd never bought bigger clothes because they're like, well, no, that's how I kept myself the same size. So anytime it started, my pants started to get thicker or a little bit more. And that's not necessarily an unhealthy thing, because it's a good way to monitor, Like you know, you don't want to just let be unhealthy if you're especially if it's

an unhealthy practice. But also like you, I had a baby, so it's like that's grace. I'm like, I'm just not going to wear clothes until I can fit into him. That's how we end up like sweats for three years straight, right, I can relate. It's so funny because like after having cam like like my look my breast, I'm going to my own or they used to it up and they were like no, no, no, what you see I never know.

It's so funny. Is that a girlfriend of mine? She was like, yes, let the titties live, and I was like to me, I'm always like, no, they're so much bigger than they were. I don't know how to wear big breasts, and like that is a thing. So like again, like you just we're always so critical of ourselves, and I just feel like we have to totally encourage one another to be like, listen, style yourself for how you

are right now. Make yourself feel good today. We know that tomorrow ain't promise, okay, and you don't want to want to be sitting here with lack of self love today. So I just want to encourage that picture, post that ship. Drop it when he said drop it, drop it when you want to drop it, okay, because that nobody allowing you to do nothing. That is when I listen to you and tell me what you do, that's when it

takes to exactly. I love it so much. Listen, we're gonna take a quick break and we're gonna move into one quick listener letter because we spoke up so much time chatting. We had so many good things, but people like to ask us questions and we can give the team what we think is going on. So stay tune, stick around. We're on pay some bills and we will be right back. Alright, y'all. So we're back for listener letters. This is where people write in and they have questions,

they have stories. I mean, let me tell you. I'll ask for people to give us context sometimes because they have a question and I'm like, well, I don't know how to answer this question. So we get in lots of contexts apparently, So listen, listen closely to this one. She gave us a whole, uh whole sonnet about what's happening here. All right. My ex boyfriend and I recently

just graduated from college. He broke up with me about a year ago because he said he wanted to just focus on himself and figure out who he is and what he wants. We're also long distance couples, so I'm sure that had a lot to do with it as well. I'm at the point now where I've tried to move on and talk to other people, but I just cannot get him out of my head. Oh baby, I know this may sound crazy, but I do believe that he's

the one I'm supposed to be with forever. From the moment we broke up, he said that he wanted us to still remain friends. It did not work out well at first, and we ended up spending several months not communicating at all. I was just so angry and hurt that he wanted to end up blocking me on everything. These several of these past several months, we started communicating again, and it's going pretty well. For the most part. It's pretty pretty casual. We just text every now and again,

maybe a phone call here and there. I mentioned us getting back together, and he's pretty adamant about us just being friends. But I'm still so in love with him that I don't know what to do. I feel like a crazy person because how could I be so in love with someone and he just feels nothing. Is being friends even a good idea at this point? Or should I just cut off communication completely and let God handle it. I am honestly afraid to do that, because what if

he never comes back she left the next time? Y'all please drop your signs so we know what the hell is going on. That's going to give us more context about anybody want to Yes, I feel very connected to Sis. I've only been into relationships and I'm just a person that learns very quickly, but not um. But my past relationship for eight years, I was definitely like that my friends.

I'm always tell my friends like thank God that I let on my stocker tendencies, but like my no, my for like, my ex and I were together for a really long time. That's the first person I was ever with. So I think that I felt like I had to be with him, I had to make it work. It made me feel better consciously, like, oh, I won't be sleeping with a lot of people and if we get married. You know, I was young. We were together from like

sixteen until I was twenty two. Um, And so I understand that because I remember when he broke up with me and then I was like crying and stuff, and then we got back together. And in retrospect, I feel like he wanted well he told me later anyway, but like he loved me, but he wasn't ready to be in a committed relationship. And because he loved me so much, when he would see me sad, he would like to get back with me or like keep the communication, and

it creates a toxic surf. It has to be and so It wasn't until my sister passed away and I just moved to New York. Like it was like the last break up we had, and I was like, I have to I have to be away because it's like an addiction. I feel like I was addicted to him, do you know what I mean? And like I just wanted to be together, and he kept getting back with me and then cheating on me because he I think he just didn't really want to be with you, do

you know what I mean? And I couldn't accept that, and we were both so young, and he didn't know how to articulate that. So my best advice to her would be to just you have to do something to allow yourself to let it go. If you need to, like block him until you're strong enough, you know, to see him. But he's telling you right now what he wants and it's not to be with I appreciate, honestly Ye's being at that age. I just think of myself

at that age. And it's funny when I heard the story because that was my situation with my ex boyfriend in my twenties or my teens and my twenties in college. That's what how I broke up with him. It was basically there wasn't any crazy moment. It was just I was at that place where I wanted to experience the world. And I feel like at that age, when you're in

a long term relationship, your identity really is intertwined. And that's probably why she's having such a hard time breaking away from it, because he is her identity, Like who is she without him? And so you know, she might think, oh, no, it's just because I love him so much, this much, this is this, But maybe she just really doesn't know herself enough to be able to identify, like, you know, who am I without this person attachment? It's Familiarito's familiarity.

You know, she's if he is the only person she's been real is like if she's if you're thinking long term, if you're thinking like I want to be with this person forever, you don't want to be with anybody forever without having experienced the world. That's that That was the struggle, and I had to We got together when we were eighteen years old, and I remember his mom always saying, who are you too? As individual? So like, do you

even though who you are as individuals? Years later, we always say, we wish we had that moment where we were just exploring who we were as individuals first. But I feel like you probably within your relationship did do that. But it's hard, That's what I mean. Like, I feel like those those problems arise in different ways in a

relationship when that hasn't been done right. And so that you know, I was the person doing the breaking up in that situation, and that really was I wanted to see the world without being having someone attached at my hip. I loved him, I cared about him, but it was like, what if my friends said, hey, let's go to Europe. That's just not your person. Because when you are with your person, whether it's at eighteen or forty five or thirty,

you make a way to do these things. You're like, I want to desire if you write you know what I mean, Like I want to go with my home girls, and you like, she is my best friend and I literally would feel that way. Yeah, but he doesn't feel that way about her, right, He's sorry, he doesn't. What it is you got to be my friends had to be like girl, yeah right, go right, like self respect like that, and you gotta be real with people sometimes like that is not your person and you will find

your personally. This is just spiraling us into the moment of truth. Here. Wait, I have I have, I have something that I want to tell Sis. It's different from the attitude. I think the two things that First of all, I believe that when you break up with someone, you have to break up with them. I believe the lingering only makes it harder. It allows for confusion. And that

really sounds like where she where she's at. And I really feel like I know it sounds cliche, but it's like the the idea of non attachment is so important for us to have um in order to evolve as people. And so when you like nothing is guaranteed and nothing is promised, and like what we believe might be true for us, just there is a divine, bigger plan. So like you've heard that, that's saying like if you let something go and it comes back to you, then it

was yours. And if it never does and it was, it never was. And I just like that's what I would just encourage her to know. And I'm telling you like from experience, like Jared and I had to actually take a break to get to where we are today at the at the beginning of our relationship where it

was needed. And that was the first time I ever sent someone off with with um without like resentment or anger like even though I was disappointed, heartbroken, and I'm sure the day that he drove away and left, I cried and drag a bottle wine and was in my journal all day long. But like it worked out. It came back, and it was without my intervention, it was without my persuasion. I told him, I told him, do not call me. We are not friends. Don't call me

about the weather, don't check on me. I'm fine. And I was like, but when you show up, if you ever show up again, you better show up a percent. And so when he showed back up, homeboys playing no games and so exactly exactly, and so I just wanted to just give her the confidence to like find the find the trust in like in in detaching and not trying to control the situation. Just surrendering respect is something you were talking about, having the dignity to say, you

know what, I'm an amazing person. I can detach from you. And just because if he does come back, like you said, he you want your partner to respect you want to or want you gimme, And it's definitely it's devastating when you feel un wanted. For sure, of course he's going to be, you know, grabbing it, like fighting for just maybe the little morsels that are left in the room.

When but when you take a step back and be like, I'm not begging nobody right right, But do you also want to be in a relationship where every day you wake up wondering why he's there? He dared to pacify you. Is he there because he really wants to be? Like, let that man show up how he wants to win. And if he doesn't, he's made it clear, and it's oh, you will find your cheer. You are very bad. We all found at the moment, We all found our people, and they're here because they want to be here. That

part I don't want to tell you different. Don't let them tell you different, because if a lie. Thank you ladies so much, quick give me your handles so everyone knows where to find y'all. I'm at Beck the letter m Gross, I'm at Melanie Fiona, I'm at Watermelon egg Grows.

By the way, when you when you follow her on Watermelon Egg girls, you won't understand why that is exactly the perfect after all the names and wait wait to cut a way to hold us out if you if you'd like to be featured as one of our listener letters, be sure to email us at dead ask advice at gmail dot calm. I love it. And for those of you also following that as the podcast on social media, be sure to follow us at dead as the podcast.

And of course I'm Kadina I am and I'll give you de vous handle even though he's not here because we spoke very highly of him. I am devoured. And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, be sure to rate, review, subscribe, tell your frame because we have the ultimate girl chat today. I love y'all so much. Thank you, dead Ass, Baby, be out of here, Back to them, Back to them babies. Dead Ass is a production of I Heart Media podcast

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