I am at the age at my big age.
You're not big age where it's big, Okay, all right, at least my back am.
I'm at the big age where at forty being misunderstood by people.
I don't really give a fluk.
I'm not there yet. You're not there yet. No, that's all right.
I'm at a youthful age. I'm not saying big age. I'm at a youthful age. Is youthful is ish? I'm at a youthful is age where they look they're like, stop lying and you can get it out if you just say big age. You see what I'm saying. You know what I'm not saying.
I am at a youthful ish age where.
Sometimes people's opinions about me affect me and I'm working on that.
That's real. That's real, that assass.
Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm Devout and we're the Ellis's.
You may know us.
From posting funny videos with our.
Voys and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy.
Wait, I make you need therapy most days. Wow.
Oh and one more important thing to mention, we're married.
Yes, sir, we are. We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of Li's most taboo topics.
Things most folks don't want to talk about.
Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass is a term that we say every day. So when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
We about to take philosof to our whole new level. Dead ass starts right now. All right, story time, get into the story time.
So since we're talking today about being misunderstood, I'll tell you about this one time where I felt severely misunderstood and.
It really physically impacted me to the point where I lost the baby. Oh my god, Yep, lost the baby over it. It was stressed and.
It was stressed induced. I think I'm now in retrospect. Yeah, And I recently shared the story on another podcast and Deval and I had gone viral. A clip of our podcast had gone viral and we were talking about monogamy. So naturally, when you talk about monogamy in general, people are going to have their opinions.
About what that looks like.
But in the particular clip, which tends to happen where you release a thirty forty five second clip out of an hour long conversation and then people, you know this is your world, baby, you know this is your world. So this clip was released, and of course once you do that and you put it out into the general public, people are open to their own opinions about it, building a story and a narrative around that clip. So within
the clip, Devout had talked about feeling. I gave him an ultimatum when I told him, like, listen, I'm not going to be a living girl girlfriend, not gonna be your baby mama. It's either you're going ship and get off the pot yep, or I can just go back to New York. Because at the time I was living with him in Detroit. He was playing ball, And I said, you know, I could just go back to New York, focus on myself, and when you figure things out, all at me.
No hard feeling.
See if I'm Silvilia, We'll see how it goes, you know. And in that moment, the conversation became, oh, like, you gave me an ultimatum. You were putting my back against the wall and forcing me to make a choice. And I said, I wasn't forcing you to do anything. I was just letting you know where I.
Stood options right, yeah.
Or what I was willing to put up with her not. So of course there were mixed reviews.
Someone were like, yeah, shout out took it even for standing her ground. And then it's like, oh, Devo didn't really want to settle down because.
She forced him to.
And there were so many clips, so many comments. You had people who were for Devour, people who were against me, and then vice versa. But I realized that we were new to the social media space. We were new to the podcast space. And that was that first time when I really like got into the comments section and felt like, well, I have to defend my point.
Did you not listen to the hour long podcast?
And Deval was in a space where he was like, bucket, I don't care what people have to say.
He didn't care.
He was just like, for real, didn't care because to him, he was like, well, sometimes you know, bad press is good press in a sense where you know, our podcast was going viral, so it was sparking conversations, it was bringing traction to the page. But I don't think he or I in that moment, understood how physically it was affecting me.
He was away filming.
I forget the show, but he was in Atlanta at the time, and I found out I was pregnant that September. This clip went viral, I want to say, maybe early October, and everything was fine. You know, I was maybe about seven eight weeks along pregnant, and I had just found out a little before he left. So I stayed back home with the kids, who were living in California at the time, because you know, the whole pandemic situation was happening,
and they just started to film a little bit. We're getting back to filming, and I remember feeling cramping.
I felt my stomach was off.
I had the pit in my stomach of anxiety because I know I was in the comment section, but it was hard to decipher what was triggering what right was it just me being anxious about the whole thing, thinking, oh my god, people are like all eyes on us, and not realizing how that was affecting me internally with this pregnancy. Ended up driving myself to the er, had a sonogram done, heartbeat, viable, pregnancy, Everything's fine.
Hey, just take it easy. Doctor said, maybe do a couple of days bed rests just to kind of put yourself at ease, and then went home and within a few hours, you know, lost that baby. And it was a super, of course, traumatic moment because if I wasn't there,
I was by myself. I told the story in another podcast about being in the bathroom and when I finally realized that I had passed the pregnancy, I had the FaceTime with Devel on the floor in the bathroom and I pulled my pants underwear down in one hand.
It was just like blood everywhere. And then my kids are knocking on the door, Mama, we want to make pizza. Mam, are you gonna come make pizza? And I was like, of course, sobbing, Devo sobbing on the phone and I'm like, mom, will be right there, and I'm coming and I'm getting myself together, I'm cleaning up, meet me downstairs in like ten minutes. And what I just in that moment, everything just started to flash in my mind about the chain
of events. And then a little bit after that, maybe a week or two after it, dev I was.
Just like, yo, you think that you're stressed.
How you were just stressed in that moment and it had to do with the spark of you just feeling misunderstood in that moment and having to like defend yourself.
Yes, that physically affected you. And from that moment on and of course now at my big age of forty for sure people's and being misunderstood, I do not care. Wow wow, thank you for sharing that. No, thank you, I'm so listen you went through that.
Thank you girl.
Wowowow.
So that was my story time child in a nutshell.
However, the blessing and that that moment I couldn't see at the time.
But what we're gonna do.
We're gonna get into karaoke, take a break, and we'll come back talk a little bit more about the story time. All right, karaoke time, okay, sell me, MSB. You're trying to figure out what to sing because neither of us.
I don't want to say. Singing is my forte.
I mean, I can hold a note, now, don't play. I couldn't hold it if you placed it in the palm of my hand.
Let's be for real. Okay, let's be for real.
But my audience, my dad asked, family, they give me a safe space to who and.
Holler and howel.
Okay, so we can do this, and we can do this together.
But since we're talking about being misunderstood, the song that came to mind and I told you about it just like that's actually the terfect one and it's giving a throwback. It's giving throwback from one of my favorite grooves, Escape shout out to Escape.
So ready, let's go five six?
Ready, And what I need from you is understand. Oh we are off off, I hold. What what I need from you is understand. I just jump on your can we start?
I don't base why.
I need from you. I was trying to go fight candy. Candy is a little bit lower registered. I start from alto are you suprano? We started a little horsie. What I need from you is understand. How can we communaka communicate? That's it. When we went did that?
We did it?
Know the rest of the work maybe I had. That's always the problem, we killing butchering people. So listen, our heart's in the right place. Our heart's in the right place, okay, And the.
Next place we need to be is paying these bills, because that's, you know, very important. So we're gonna pay some bills and we're gonna come right back and we're gonna dive back into story time and talking about being misunderstood, because what we need from you is undertaking understand Yeah, that was.
Good, all right, so we're back.
By now you probably figured out who my beautiful guest is here today. Be Simon, y'all, is a comedian, social media personality, podcast hosts an entrepreneur.
Your podcast Let's try this again.
It takes a vulnerable look at what it takes to be resilient, especially in the public eye. And she's currently on tour, baby, so grab your tickets in your respective city, and even if it's not in your respective city, it's giving.
Get a group of.
Girls together, a group of guys, make it a trip so you can see her on tour performing stand up comedy around the country.
And she's here to share some of herself with us today. And we appreciate you being here today.
Thank you, thank you for showing me so excited. When I got invited, I was like, are you sure really said Simone?
Give me somebody I heard.
Simone is like one of the very popular middle names for women, like I forget where I saw it.
It might have been like a.
Lot of Simon's names, rais and all that.
So you fell into that category, girl, So it's funny. I normally will give a little blurb about who the guest is, but I always like to hear your take on it.
Who is b Simone?
You know what I used to when people ask me that question. I used to be like, I'm a stand up coman, I'm an entrepreneur. It's like, that's what you do. That is not who you are, Like who are you?
Interesting?
I am a daughter, I'm loving, I'm a friend. I am hopeful, I'm optimistic. I walk in purpose like I feel like that's more of who I am. And I'm still finding myself. Like every time I find myself, I chan.
You see me baby.
Two days ago, I had hair. I was going to get into that too, because when she pops out of the vehicle, this.
Is my first and I love it too. I love it. I love it for you like me. It's giving. You know, a woman who cuts her hair is about to change the world. But you be kind here all the time. I got a sad I need.
I can't even worr new rag.
I'm gonna do nothing for this. You cannot wait, not a thing, but I am. I'm going through a season.
I'm always going through something, and I feel like I changed so often when you're trying to grow, you should be changing rapidly as possible, you know, as certain things evolve and shift. But I pure intent. I truly believe my heart is so big. I love people, I love laughing, I love being happy, and I'm like, all right, there's egg shells in here.
Let's just sliving it up because you know, yeah, I love I love.
What I do.
Who's brayling?
Because it's funny you mentioned B Simone and B Simone's a it's to an extent, a persona that we see on social media, and she is the person who's on stage, she is the comedian, she is the podcast host.
But then who's braillant?
Yeah? And I think all the things I said, But also like I'll give you an example, B Simone. Thankfully I built a persona and a character around who I am, so be Simone is part of Me's just not all of me. I'm not walking around the airport at six am when y'all be walking up to me trying to take a picture. Baby, it's like it's five forty five.
I can relate to that, you know what I mean?
Right now? Or I don't feel good or I am tired, or I did just get off the phone with a family member and things aren't going well. I'm not always happy, and I would say on the internet, I'm not always happy either. I tried to show all of me because that is what got me to this point, being vulnerable, relatable and real. Yes, so b Simone isn't too far from Braylin, you know, but she's just b Simone is just a part of Braylin, not all of Braylin, gotcha.
So yeah, Brailen has a lot of depth and she goes through a lot and I don't show every single.
Team, so it's not that they differ per se, but it's more so one is a little bit more withheld. Yeah, yeah, which is which is I think accurate because I think about myself as too myself too.
You know.
You see Kadeen, Kadeen the wife, Kadiah the mom, Kadeen you know the podcasts, Kadeen the entrepreneur. But there's certain parts of Kadeen that people haven't experienced, and I feel like I need to for my own sanity, for my own protection. There's certain parts of me that I just feel like the public doesn't necessarily deserve do.
You have you ever been there?
Can you say parts?
Like what?
Can you say that? Or do you not? Like?
Can you say it?
Do you share those parts? It's also it's it's the parts that people know about me already. It's the it's the wife, it's the daughter, it's the podcast host. But then there's like deeper layers to that that I just feel like, you don't have to have all of that. You can't see all of that, you can't be privy to all of that, because then, like you said, people always expect that of you. So I've just come to a point now where I'm just like, I just don't
want to share everything, everything, everything. And the beauty of social media in the space that we're in is that we can curate our own content. We can let people see what we want to want them to see. But also too, you want to stay authentic and true to who yourself really is.
So it's not a matter of you know, not being who you are, but it's about protecting the pieces of you that you feel like are sacred.
Yeah, And you know what, because I'm so vulnerable and transparent, I share a lot and if I'm not sharing a part of that it's because sharing that will affect other people, not because I don't want to share it. So I'm like, I actually want to share my family and my upbringing and my childhood trauma and a lot of that in detail, but it would affect to any people, gotcha. So I'm actually always in protective mode of other people's feelings and how they're perceived, but I actually want to share.
This stuff because they didn't sign up for it, right, right, We're even protective now of just sharing our siblings to an extent, niece's nephew's family, because you just know how that couldn't have a dominant effect and effect peopleho didn't sign up for this public life. So going back to my story time, you know, talking about a moment where I was misunderstood and it really affected me.
Did you have a moment where you felt like, damn, that did not land well.
People did not to be able to not get what I was trying to give and that was completely chopped and screwed and misunderstood.
Girl, do you have you had a story like that that you can share and how you kind of worked through that.
Mine was kind of like yours, Like my biggest hit was like my first public like boom.
I was like, oh my god.
I went from everybody liking me and the internet funny black girl and the viral girl too she's a play dress. I was like, okay, that was one of my first big like HiT's. Oh my god, this is a mind boggling, you know. Like I went through a whole thing where I put out a book and some pages in the book were actually taking off Pinterest through my graphic designer. Right, so I look through the book and once again, y'all, if you're starting a business rushing, do not rush. Know
who you're hiring, have contracts. I had to learn this the hard way, like, all right, if anything happens, it's not on me, it's on whoever put it together or whatever. But once again, I took the hit because I'm the face of the brand.
Yeah.
So the day the world found out was the day I found out.
I was like, y'all, I didn't know it either.
You know, I'm calling my lawyer, I'm calling it, you know. So but that really affected me because it wasn't my intent, you know what I mean. So when you go through the comments, you want to stick.
Up for yourself. Of course, that's that's natural.
That's not what I'm natural, especially when it attacks your character and your integrity.
I don't care if you think I'm not funny. I don't care if you don't like my ballad. I don't care if you don't like my gap. I got baby teeth, don't care. It could have been had ven ears. Don't want them, I don't want them. I don't care if you think my ass is flat. I don't care if you think when you question my character that bothers me. For sure, it bothers me. But I'm learning, like Braylan, why why do you need validation so much from man?
Why do you need to be liked so much? The why is important now, So now I'm digging back the layers and trying to heal that so it truly doesn't matter. I'm getting better, but it's not totally gone, And I think it's important to get to a point where it's like, I really don't f it, I don't care. I think that is so important because at this point I have an audience of one. I have an audience one who's making all the moves, Who's making all the moves all
the who who is telling me how to move. If I focus on him, I can't be focused on what millions of people think.
You know what, I've also learned everyone is not for you, yes, yes.
Okay, focused on the people that love you, that's okay.
Yes, you know, right before I went on to our tour, our live show again this past uh go around in February. You know, naturally, before you get on stage and you have a tour, you just have these feelings where you're just.
Like, oh my god, don't don't make it's nerves.
It's natural.
And I think it's healthy to have that, because if I wasn't nervous and didn't care, then I like already bought their tickets.
But I was just like, I kind of just like you know, in my head, and usually do that.
Has some time to talk me off the ledge half the time, and I was on the phone with Crystal, Crystal reinine Taste, Yes, good friend of ours. We just had a game together actually, and Christial was like, Okay, just know that everybody there is for you. Everybody who's there that bought a ticket that wants to do the meet and greet, they want to see you, They want to see you succeed. They don't need you don't have that right exactly.
I mean I didn't do a split baby.
Now she was out there, I was like, wow.
Now ask me if I did a split since then, because this one a little the left hip was acting up on me.
You know, you're just healing hep.
We're healing the HEP.
But no, in that moment, she just made me realize that they were there for me. And that was like a really like big thing in that moment, and I had to kind of tell myself that who's there, They love you want to be there for me. These are the people in the people who are the random passions by, the random comments that have something negative to say.
Chances are they not following me. It's just some random passer by through your page. But staying true and authentic to who you are for those people is important. How do you maintain that because a lot of what we were talking about, like I said, this season is perception and reality.
So how do you or how is your reality affected by people's perception of you? How do you differentiate the two? Yeah, you know, I'm so scared of being caught and being fake or fraud that I'm almost overly think that is like also a gift of mine.
But I'm so vulnerable, so open. Like if you go back on my YouTube, y'all see me.
Pulling up in a Honda, three hubcaps, roll down windows.
I'm like, we all been there?
What you mean? And I think that comes with comedy too, like laughing at your pain or laughing at your situation. It's like I tell you before you say it. It's like I've already said that, be someone driva toyota. I've already said that, yes, be someone against me. I hate you guys, you cuse you have sex before marriage, but you say you love Lord. I already said that. I'm telling you all my journey, and I'm taking y'all on
the journey with me. There's nothing you can say about me that I haven't already said about myself.
That's powerful.
So that is a person like that. It's hard to f with I am. There's nothing I'm hiding. This is who I am. And if there's something I don't like about myself, I'm working hard to change it. And the things I can't change, I'm trying to embrace those things, right, you know. So I think it's important just to put put it out there, and I make it a joke because I'm a comedian. So I think that helps me
with my gift. I'm like even recently when we said I was walking through the mall handing out right, I'm promoting my own show six millions, that this show ain't sold out, right, So guess what I'm gonna be this that's the truth in this moment.
I thought I would have sold out this show a couple of weeks ago.
It's not sold out.
You got back to the grassroots, back to the truth.
Of fat on the ground, but instead of got sold out, No, we ain't sold out. I don't know what's going on, but marketing got to step up absolutely putting the truth out there and getting ahead of the truth and just living in it. That's the truth, you know. So I think that's a gift of mine. And I love that feeling of authenticity because not being authentic is you.
Got to keep that up, that facade, man, And you cannot use against me what I've already spoken about divine the same thing with us Super Transparent, since our the inception of the Elysis or even the Dead Ass podcast, we talk about this being almost like therapy for us.
People literally be in our business.
Like in the conversations, we've had moments of revelation here a huge major whether it's individual revelations, marital revelations, parents, and revelations that it's happen right here.
Oh for sure, that's happened. For sure.
Absolutely we have. And if you've had an argument before, were going to tell you what we argued about, you know, and then naturally you have people like I saw with Kadeen, I can relate to. But we are telling you what's happening, so you in real time. Even in the beginning when we talked, we spoke about like an infidelity or something like early on in the relationship, when we're dating, whatever. Nobody could pop up and say nothing, yeah, because it's.
All already said.
We already said it, been there, done that.
I love that you mentioned your comedy because I was wondering now that B is evolving, because I think the we're talking about, of course, perception, reality, misunderstanding. However, the evolution of B what informs your stand up now that you are a comedian, because I think that's at the forefront of what you're doing now. You know, the live show comedy mixed with podcasting, which is a nice twist on a live show. So what informs your standard?
Uh truly me on that stage? And what is crazy that you said that? I have jokes that I've had for forty years, five years. They grow the joke could have been thirty seconds, now it's two minutes. I've stretched it and I've growed it. Yeah, growed it. I'm grooted it. I've rode it.
Yeah.
So those jokes, it's like sometimes I get on stage and say it and I'm like, I'm actually acting now because this isn't me anymore. So I've gotten off stage and been like, I need to rewrite that. Okay, I shouldn't. That's not even me anymore. I've had to adjust so many things I have, Like are you'll all growing here? I almost went super left field.
Go go God, God, God say it, say it. You know this is no holds barred.
Because I'm working on my mouth. Thank you. I'm gonna keep your dead ass. I have a given head joke.
You've forgot my husband give hands you?
Oh right, a great talk about I have a given head joke. But I gave head in eighteen months because why I'm.
Celebant, right and there is an evolution of the head game.
So it's like it could be it's like I changed that joke up to be like when I used to okay, or I tell my celibacy journey, right, tell my journey. I intertwine all the truths. But it's like I did have to adjust my comedy because as a stand up comic, hits your life and your truth on that stage. And I hadn't been doing so many jokes for so long and got repetitive. I'm like, this joke isn't me anymore right? Right?
Yea?
Or do you curtail it to audience? I know that getting up on stage doing comedy is not easy. Have you found yourself being like shit that didn't fall or land the way I.
Thought it was for me? Like re rework that because they didn't they didn't pick up what I was dripping.
That was funny in the bathroom when I was at the house by myself in the shower, I was really giggling. Y'all was quiet, right, keep talking, just keep talking any birthday. Stop making fun of the people on the front row. That's what you do.
I'm like, all right, brother, how you doing? What's improv right? No, for sure, for sure.
Yeah, but that's how you work the stage the comedy clubs is like working out in the gym. You don't know if it works until you do it in front of a crowd. So you have to practice in front of people, you know, So that stand up is not your mama, not your brother, not your friends. Well then again, you may have those friends that are brutally honest with you.
You know.
Listen, girl, now to rewrite that one.
Re wrote it.
Go back in the chamber, get back in the lab, rewrote it.
What are some things that you feel like you've had to sacrifice to get to where you are today that you wish you hadn't because how many? How many years have you been in the game. I want to say from like the exception of like your YouTube's all that, Like.
Right over a decade, I started my Space what is it?
My Space days, my Space interests, like I was going not I mean, I guess back then it was. My pictures were everywhere on my Space and Facebook. So over fifteen years, man, but you know I did. It's even before that because in elementary school, middle school, I wasn't dance. I was in art when I was fifteen, I was in my first girl group.
Did you get on your report card? Talks to too much in class? Were you that person every time?
Every time you're always talking? You always the people you like?
Yeah, you was talking to this one in classic one.
My teachers loved me though. I got most likely to succeed, most likely to be famous. Yeah, I got to living up.
Listen, that's how you got to speak life into them. Kids from not like my Caz. My third son just came home with like the Remarkable Reader Award, and I'm just like, bro, that's great, that's so good.
You're just super smart, like you know, And I could just see him being a little student lawyer, yeah, checking everybody, because he'd be checking my ass.
But I definitely didn't get reader.
I didn't when you know, when the teacher going around and it come to you, I was like the dog and the you know what I used to do. I used to because I used to hate reading aloud. I still kind of hate reading aloud to this day, quiet as it's kept.
But I used to like, look at who was before me, and I'm like, if they're reading like two paragraphs and that's like four paragraphs.
Eight Okay, so somebody get excited and read the extra. I'm like, you done read my part son. I literally was practicing all of the big words. I had a flow, and now I read Cole read co read cold. I definitely wasn't that, but I was. I've been doing it forever.
To answer your question, and I think something that I sacrificed was being intentional with love, like over as intentional as I am with my business and my purpose and the fulfillment I get from podcasting and acting and being on set.
And I love what I do.
I wouldn't change it for the world. And I know God called me to it. God called me to this industry for a reason. He's molding me and shifting me right in front of the industry's eyes. And he planted me in this industry to be a light, which is so difficult.
That's trying to grow personally, trying to grow publicly, and like you said, if you've been in a fifteen years, that puts you to being like a teenager growing publicly.
They're like, you know, Jesus, you're still cussing, bitch. Look now, I've been cussing for twenty years, and I gave my life to Christ eleven months ago. Give me a second, give me a minute. I'm getting better. Y'all are just watching my transition on camera. Nobody's recording.
You transition.
Who knows, who knows?
Who knows?
But I'm being open with mine, you know. And I said that to say, intentional with love and intentional with family because I left my which I still I'm still like, all right, I will leave anybody behind for my purpose and what God has called me to do. A mother, a granny, a friend, a sister. If God is calling me to this and you can't support me, you want me to choose. If He is telling me to do this, I will be obedient to him and leave my family.
I will do that. But I wish that I made more intentional time for family time, which I'm starting to do now that I'm a little more established and financially free and i can.
Travel wherever I want and do it in real time.
But I would say those two things, intentional with family and intend to know with love because I believe whatever you're intentional with it's going to flourish and growth. Right, So I'm like, that's why I've been able to reach a certain level of success because I'm so intentional with what I do, so intentional, but with love and family.
I'm starting to work love. I'm actually not not let me not. I have not started working on you.
I haven't.
Yeah, but family, Yes.
And my sister moved to Atlanta, more time with her, trying to be more intentional with my relationship with my mom, seeing my grandmother more, just little things like that, see Grandma, go see Grandma.
I know, I know, thank you for sharing that.
I love that podcast episode when you share that you go and see Grandma. I you only got one one maybe too? Maybe? Yeah?
Yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes.
So I guess my next question to you is gonna be what's most important to you right now in your life in this space? And you said family, career of course, yeah, what else? Anything else that You're like this, everything else needs to take a back seat because I've had to sacrifice for two I wouldn't say a back seat. But my relationship with God has grown so much over the past year. I'm trying so hard to incorporate him more.
I'm still breaking habits, yep, not waking up and grabbing my phone, praying, talking to him more, praise and worship more fasting more, doing all the things that I know have worked and got me out of a dark place and allowed me to have encounters with him. I have had an encounter with Jesus Christ. You, guys, I'm gonna look right at y'all. I'm telling you. I am telling you.
He is the Way, the truth in the life. And if you give him a chance Jeremiah twenty nine thirteen, seek me and you will find me when you seek me with all of your heart. If you do that with all of your heart, you will find him. And I know that from experience. I don't know all the scriptures, I don't know the Bible from the beginning to end. I know my experience. So to answer your question once again, my goal is to incorporate Him in everything more just
in seasons. Yes, I feel like it's like going to the gym, like a working out for two months.
It works, and it it's like, oh I.
Took a month off. I feel like that's the same with my spirituality. Okay, I'm trying to make it a lifestyle and not just okay, let me do this these two months, let me spend time with God. No, it should be my lifestyle. So I'm battling with that.
I see you. I do the same.
I have the same battle, and I also battle with how much I want to share. So again going back to the things that I don't necessarily let people know about, that's one of those things because I feel like it's very super personal and I don't need to be the person that's quoting every like you said, every scripture or in church every day, or singing every hymn or knowing everything to quote. But it's a personal journey and a
personal relationship. And you said that you've experienced Christ. Yeah, personally.
Yeah.
Is that enough for you to know that you've done that or do you feel like you need to convince others of that encounter.
I don't think my responsibility is to convince. I think God allowed me through it to testify, to let people know my experience and plant whether it's planting the seed or whether it's encouraging somebody to have a relationship with him. I do believe God. From twenty sixteen, from the moment I went viral to now almost a decade later, I am a total different person. Like I go back and watch my videos, I'm like, you put that on the internet. You dumb young guy can relate to that so much.
Deval I was just talking about.
They said, Man, if we listen to some of these old podcast episodes, the way you spoke, your mindsets, the way you felt about certain topics, and it's it's unfortunate in a way because the Internet is so forgiven, unforgiving, and you can just pull anything up at any random.
Time time and it just lives there in this ambyss forever. And it's just like, man, I hope that, you know, ten years from now, people are not going to hold me to.
The interview that we did now for example exactly, and we would hope not.
And it's unfortunate that I feel like the public in general just can't embrace change or even respect evolution, respect the fact that people have the courage to publicly show their evolution. You know, have you ever had moments where you're like, you know what, I'm not doing this some more.
Like this is just not for me.
Hmmm. I don't think I was ever like I'm not doing this because I know this is my purpose. But I've definitely been like felt myself getting into that bitter, angry, hurt, sad, unforgiving, not like all of those things that I had never felt before. I'm like, I've never felt this, Like, I've never felt these emotions in this space where you're normally happy, mean yeah, yeah, like or I would look at somebody and be like, girl, you're beautiful. How are you not confident?
I don't understand how beautiful women can't be confident. Then I had a moment where I was like, oh, shoot, I'm not confident in this season. So having more empathy and understanding emotions flow depending on what you're going through. So I've had a moment where I'm like, you know what, I'm gonna watch what I say. I'm scared to say anything. I'm scared to give my opinion and be myself on the internet because every time I myself it's twisted up, or it's somebody got an opinion, or I'm like, like
you said take thirty seconds. I'm like, that's not what I said. I did not say fuck all the fruit. I did.
I like apples. I said I like apples, and now.
You're right because I don't. I didn't say I like oranges. All I did was say I like apples. I didn't say fuck oranges.
Right for sure? Just trust me.
But I'm like, oh, I literally have this conversation with God recently, Like I'm like, you told me to do this, you told me to do that, You told me to do this, and I did it. I've been obedient. Where are you at? Like I feel like I'm getting attacked for my obedience. He's like, you're not going through anything I haven't been through. Relax. He literally was like, relax. Everything you are going through that you think is so major, that's so minute, is not anything they haven't done to me.
So be quiet, relax. So I'm just like I remember that in those times. I'm like, this is the cross I was meant to carry. Anything you're going through. God puts you in this seat for a reason. God puts you with your husband, with those boys that y'all are raising for an exact, not even a reason, for a purpose. See and be.
I mean people have asked me all the time, what's your purpose? What's your purpose?
And I'm just like, man, don't I don't know what it is? And this was me I mean as recent as maybe two three years ago, Like I just don't feel fulfilled. I feel like I'm doing the things I'm supposed to do. But not the things I was purposely supposed to do, if that makes sense. Wow, and like finding what that purpose is?
I always been you're saying this in real time, in real time, Well, now I know, okay, Okay, I'm walking in my purpose. I didn't realize that it was simultaneously happening. I thought I was going to have this like major revelation at some point, or that you know, people who grow up or you say, you know, you've known since you were a kid, that this was my purpose. I was going to be famous, I was going to be in entertainment. I didn't always necessarily feel that. Did I want that? Yes?
But the only thing I knew for sure that I wanted was to be a wife and mom. That was that was that knew that, and I knew that.
Wow. And that's why for a while I felt guilty, felt feeling like my purpose can't just be being a wife and mom. Yes, my purpose has to be something great, Okay, But then I look at my family and I'm just like, what's greater than my husband and my four boys raising
amazing black men? Purpose? Baby had? I had to like really sit there and be like, oh God, I see what you did here, I see what you did here, And then also having a revelation on stage one time in a live show when someone was asking me, what's next for you, Kadeen, What's next for you, Kadeen?
And I'm like, what is next for me? And I'm like, wait a second, Why am I always looking to be to see what's next? Maybe I'm walking literally in my purpose? And do you know how many people come to deval and I at random times and say, you have saved my marriage. You have opened my eyes to a relationship with my mother or my father I didn't know could exist.
You have made me change the way I parent my son or Dady. You have helped There's so many testimonies and stories that we get on a day to day basis, and I'm like, oh God, I see that's the prope go through all that, the fidelity of whatever all y'all talked at, all that, everything that we spurred that one person to share that story to plant that it was worth it.
It made sense.
It's purpose because it's not about us, It's about whatever God has called us to do to do, And it's just it's crazy how after a while you try to fight those things and you try to like you're in your own mind about what it looks like when God is literally like I'm showing.
You the way, like you're walking in your purpose and what I have destined for you. Wow, it's crazy when you said that. The emotions that you feel. You know, sometimes when I asked about everyone to just give this up, feelings of just like bitterness and doubt and fear. Feeling misunderstood can have many different emotional and psychological effects. Typically, we talk about some facts and staffs to kind of back up our conversation on the.
Show, So.
Over the okay.
Emotional responses.
Feeling misunderstood can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction, annoyance, discomfort, insecurity, sadness, failure incompleteness, and disinterest. It can also make people feel unsettled, unheard, unseen, and can lead to heightened emotional.
Responses, Oh I know, girl, girl, Okay, all.
The things that we've experienced at some point, and I'm sure our listeners can relate to just just feeling like that, like damn, that's not how it was supposed to be, That's not how I intended it. But here I am self doubt feeling misunderstood can make people doubt their own choices, their actions, their words, which can then lead to even more frustration. And it can also compromise your sense of worth,
your sense of empowerment. How have you pulled yourself out of spaces where you felt unworthy and and like you've lotched your power because I know that, like you said, God has really been a driving force.
Staple better, girl, It's okay space. You can cry.
Our eyes do cry sometimes, but you know, I know that you're rooted in your faith. And how do you pull yourself out of moments where you just don't feel like you're worthy, whether it's a good moment or a bad I'm not worthy of this or I feel powerless in this sense? Because I know that people listening have been in spaces maybe not publicly, but they're fighting their own private battles where I'm just like, I can't get.
Out of this.
It's that mind, y'all, the battle feel of the mind. Vienna got me on that book I started reading. I haven't even finished it, but pretty v my girl, your mind. Most of this stuff is in your mind, and it starts with the mind. Then it turns into action or a thought or a word. Or your thoughts turn into everything and it becomes manifested, good or bad. You have to take those thoughts like you have to shift it. It starts with your mind. That's what I've been working
on so so hard, shifting. And I say it out loud. Now, if I start having bad thoughts, I have to start speaking, declaring and like, that is real. You have to shift your perspective. I said this on my podcast. We can both look at a glass and see, oh, this is almost gone. I'm like, well, no. An abundant mindset is like we almost to the top. Period, It's not almost gone. We almost to How we're gonna get more? And how are we gonna get more? Right? How are we going
to overflow it? And a lack of mindset is like, oh my gosh, this is almost gone. We're about to run out. We're not gonna have nothing. That's the mind And once again backing up with a stat I don't I don't, I don't know the the full statistic, but I know this is a scientific fact, okay, because scientific's funny scientific facts that don't be scientific facts.
So just so you know, for the record, this is an actual fact. This is actual scientific fact.
I follow up preacher who is a psychologist on Instagram. I gotta find the page. But just saying that thoughts, negative thoughts positive or negative are building like bridges in your mind. If it's negative, it's building like negativity. The positive thoughts take those down and then starts building positive over here. It's scientifical, okay, but it's something there. I'm trying to envision the least boy Mom.
Look at the legos and ship. How which way they go?
Imagine all those negative thoughts. You have to build the muscle to break them down. It's just a muscle.
It's like working out.
It's a practice. So I'm telling you all this thing you're looking, how do I become confident? How do I? It starts in your mind because most of the stuff we think is in fact or truth anyway, I'm ugly, okay, perception, reception or who or I'm not worthy?
Well, God, biblically God tells us are worth. You were this, you are this, You were this, you are this.
So that's that's a lie anyway, anyway. But thinking lies all day, so you have to combat it with the truth.
I love that being in the mind.
You know what came to mind for me as you were talking to who you surround yourself with in those moments of feeling unworthy or feeling powerless, or feeling defeated, you're feeling misunderstood the people around you. You either rise to the occasion of the people around you or you stay staggering where they are. And one thing town, I really make sure that we do or just meet and.
General, I'm surrounding myself with people who can pour into me, who can elevate my thoughts, who can teach me something new, who can speak.
Life and positive people. I don't want to be like I'm around wives with folkids. She got to the door, she was just like, oh okay, I said, Oh y'all got money, Oh my god, beautiful.
Family running around, just abundance love, And I pray that when people walk into our space and into they can feel that energy and that life and it's in effective.
Yes, it was like inspectious, yes.
Yes, yes, but being around people who do that and making sure that the people who you're around as well want to grow with you. Not necessarily trying to get into the circles of people who have already attained, but people who are working on the same things as you and build with you and build together and not just trying to get to the top quickly, because everything.
Is a process, right.
Child.
Physical and psychological impact. Feeling misunderstood can lead to higher perceived stress, lower life satisfaction and motivation and health, healthy cortisol slopes, belly fat, Oh this.
I got had a six pack?
Emma, I'm still working on farm over here.
Trying to be given what they said they said, I'm trying to be giving BBL allegations and tell me took allegations all summer.
Come on, all, could they already be like, hey, can he have a tappy sack? She don't got no stretch.
First of all, it's okay if my mother had three kids in that one stretch mark on her body, not one. She had a big old table top booty, well not now because she's lost a little bit away, but she had a little booty on her and flat stomach and ads and everything. I'm like listening y'all, y'all about to stress me out, but my cortisol let us through the You know what I'm saying that it's gonna be foop of forever. What to do when you're feeling misunderstood avoiding
jealous people. While jealousy is largely normal, it will not serve you if the people around your resent your life. Have you had to eradicate your life of people who you felt like necessarily want the best for you?
Absolutely?
Absolutely?
And what do you do at that point?
Because I normally just pray for discernment to know or just forgot to remove those people from my life for whatever reason. And there's some people who aren't around when I look around and like, what happened to And you started to internalize it because you think it's you. I was like, did I do something wrong? So I've actually had a friend of mine who was like, I mean, really good close friend for years, and eventually she just
kind of stopped communicating with me. And I went through this phase of you know, okay, dialing back, what happened?
What did I do? What could I've said?
What I have done?
And then realizing after speaking to like a couple of her family members and friends, they were like, no, she's just on a different walk right now.
And I'm like, all right, well I had to respect that, you know, And it was it was hard for me.
It was almost like grieving this loss of a friend, a sister almost and I was like, man, I don't know what I did to deserve that.
And I was like, you know what, God, you knew, I almost remember what you prayed for. You just prayed for discernments and to remove people places, absolutely things.
At the same happen where you've have aid to say. You know, I can't just I can't be in communication with this person or absolutely.
You know, family, friends, business partners that I'm gone in a business with like this, we don't want the same thing. You're chasing money, right, I know the money's gonna come. I am chasing purpose and I do this because I love it. I'm not chasing a dollar. I can't say yes to everything that has a dollar sign on it, you know. So I've definitely experienced.
That for sure.
And trusting your instincts, right that gut that God people say guts, so people say God, but paying attention to what your gut or God says because it pays off
and it will avoid wasting time. Yeah, in certain circles that okay, that part, and surrounding yourself with people who don't judge you, like we said, the people who you hang around your circle it's natural to have an opinion or preference, but truly loving people who don't judge, they fully know that normal hypocrisy is intrinsic to being human and seek.
The love with what they can. So thank you for the fact. Since that's triple.
Devow says, triples name a certain kind of way, and I can say it right. Who's trouble our producer?
I said, who is a website?
Listen that that's what's sound like the website for sure? Oh my god, this is a great chat B. This is a great Chatski's coming.
To an end. Get the house.
It's all good. Let me tell you. People come here and they never want to leave.
Ay, I know they never want to They.
Never want to leave. But as you round out the this portion of the conversation is we actually have listener letters.
I want you to stick around and just answer one or two, just give some tips, advice, our two cents and whatever the situation is. But as we round out the conversation about the evolution of B, is there anything you want to leave our people with knowing what's to look forward to as BE continues to evolve, Resilience, the Internet, people, things, addictions, habits. Negativity is gonna knock me down, and I'm gonna get up every time. And that's why I started the podcast.
Let's try this again, resilient pivoting, figuring it out. You guys, be resilient, get up. Fight. Usually where you are lacking and where you're struggling and where the enemy is attacking you is where God is trying to use you. So fight got fight through that season. I will never stop. I don't care what the Internet says about me perceives me to be. I will go through those moments where I have to self reflect and I might be sad, I might be like, why are baby, I'm gonna get
back up. I'm gonna keep fighting. So I just want y'all to know that and all the people that do support me and love me. I ain't going nowhere.
Here on the way. That's a fact. That's a fact.
Speak about being in the road devels, you know, filming, and he's you know, here and there and everywhere. So we're gonna have more moments like this where I'm sitting at with some of my favorite girls and guys and we're gonna be having some chats.
But back to yes, I think we should.
Y'all tell her, y'all want her to bring me back. There's so many things to talk about. We've only scratched the surface of the conversation. I'm looking forward to some more girl chat and live in the future. But we'll girl chat over some listening letters. Let's go pay some bills and we.
Will be right back with more be some know brailliant darling. All right, and now we're back listening at the time, I'm gonna dive right in. We're gonna see what these people talking about today.
We're supposed to give them advice, yeah, or you can just give your two cents on the story. It's not advice. Don't listen to me. I'm just gonna tell you my experience.
Okay, okay, Because typically they write in for dival and I okay, it's not like a dude like, YO, what should I do?
Sis, We're going to defer to the well, we'll have to call on the phone a friend. All right, Hello to you both.
I want to say that this platform you both have created has been a benefit to so many and I hope you continue a bigger realm such as the talk show Wink Wink.
I received that in the name of Jesus, thank you so much.
Why I can't hit shout out to treble, I said that better At this time, I'm a thirty six year old black mail. See there's a brother ricer like I said, I'm a thirty six year old black male who's looking to branch out on his own. I lived with my grandmother for fifteen years and I wanted to get away from under her wing. Well, in the midst of that, I've had three relationships which have failed and it caused
me to move back with her. My income has decreased due to the heavy child support I pay, and now it's hard to afford a place to live.
There's the kicker.
I finally decided that I want to branch out on my own and live my own life. And when that happened, my grandmother passed. Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry to hear that.
I know the feeling.
Yeah, I was left with almost thirty K, but it was all taken away due to my grandmother's signing a vehicle loan for me right before she passed, and it was done to offset the loan. Yikes, my credit is terrible and there's no one to co sign on the loan for me. I'm left with eight K from the sale of her home now right a whole lot that's with a k from the sale of her home, But I do have kids in a car loan, I have to still continue to pay and try to get refinanced.
I'm confused because I don't know what to do and I don't want to fall back into my old patterns, which could be possible because there are women who constantly want to date me and want me to be with them. I'm making a conscious decision to say no, but when they extend help, I fall victim to.
Help to the help that they provide.
Because I have nowhere in caps to go and so little to take care of myself. I just want to create my own independence and create better and healthier habits and mindset. Please give me advice on where to go from here. I know you can't help everyone, but the advice is extremely appreciated.
Thank you. Oh brother. This was a question for Develment because the loans and cars and this and that and what to do.
But I can understand how he feels just being stuck, just being completely still up. So first off, I understand with the income coming in and then having heavy child support. Like I know a couple of people personally who this has just literally been the biggest setback for them, is having to every month shell out money for their children and then having nothing to themselves after that. And then you have grandma who passed away. This is such a loaded,
loaded thing. Loaded, And then you don't want to be the guy right who is starting to like talk to women and date women. And then you know you're just the person that's there to receive whatever they're giving you, and not have you ever been in a situation where you were the person the kind of having to like take care of a guy or he was in a situation where he couldn't fend for himself.
I flew a boy out one time, don't he got flewed out?
It was so stupid. What No, I'm sorry, let's focus on this man.
I'm so sorry.
I triggered.
I was triggered, all right, y'all to just say, you know, future man, make her mic. She's flewing people out.
I think instead of focusing on the women that could help him, he just needs to take this time and focus vertically on God. I think he should fast because God will tell him what to do next. I truly believe in that. Okay, I think he should fast. What's the benefits you've seen from fasting?
Oh?
Personally, I never lived a fasted lifestyle until last summer.
Okay.
In every single time I fast, which have been four times in the past, well three times for five times within the past year, God has told me exactly what to do next. So if you don't know what to do next, just do the last thing he told you to do. Right, So I would fast, give up something. It doesn't always have to be food. I mean, biblical fasts are usually food. Yeah, because we create, we eat so much all day every day. Right, But I fasted
social media. I mean that was an addiction for me, just scrolling and looking at the comments and liking and so whatever you feel like is consuming most of your time, your time, your life, Yeah, your lifestyle. Yes, be specific in your fast. Brother, I'm telling you, like, ask guys specific questions and just fast. And I'm telling you, either he'll speak through a person, he'll speak through a knowing, they'll speak through an idea, something might just That's how I came up with my podcast.
I was fascining.
So I mean he'll he'll I truly believe if he fast, God will give him the next step.
I love that. Yeah, like you said, take it vertically.
Sometimes it's not even about the people around you, the situations around you, because at first I was just like, shoot, maybe you need to like get a part time gig. I don't know what kind of money he's bringing in. You know, sometimes that's not even enough because you end up in this rat race of just trying to make money you can't do nothing else. Yeah, yeah, I've been there.
I've been that.
Take it vertically, brother, take it or showing your God will tell you what to do next.
But now, when he tell you your job is to be obedient, it ain't always what you want to hear.
You might have to cut somebody off right and have to walk away. You might have to leave a girl alone. You might have to He might say quit this job.
You don't even know why, right, But if he tells you do it, I'm telling you whatever's on the other side of that is beautiful. Love that.
Yeah, awesome advice. Thank you, Thank you.
And to round out our listening letters, we have one more for the road. What's the word Kadina de Belle Well, could he ea be today? I just started listening to the podcast from January to present, and I've damn near watched majority of the episodes. I was introduced to you guys when I bought the book. Just want to say I appreciate all platforms.
Thank you so much.
So cool.
I'm twenty four and my girlfriend is twenty but we have two brothers writing and today. Or it could be a girl.
We don't know, because sometimes we have a girl, girlfriends and girlfriends. I'm twenty four, my girlfriend is twenty three. We've been together for seven years since high school. We went long distance for three of those years and eventually reunited and bought a house together. I say that to say I feel like we've always found ourselves back to each other because I know that she loves me, But damn I do not feel like I get the respect
I deserve. Almost a year ago, I got into a shootout. Jesus, wait, what an actual you say? Okay, got into a shootout trying to protect her from an altercation, and I ended up getting shot six times, baby, get shot six times and losing my car in the process. Crazy part is yes, that you're living to tell the story. Crazy part is I am not from Houston where this happened, and I have no enemies. I'm from Chicago and I served in the Army for four years. It's ironic to me, loo crazy.
The war zone in our cities are more dangerous than overseas, but that's not the topic. But knowing my girl was in the middle of a shootout, Jesus, I just went into protect mode. I woke up in the hospital seeing her with not a scratch on her. It made me very happy and relieved. I did not care how badly my body was damaged. I was just concerned about her. I know she loves me, and she wouldn't leave my side in the hospital, even when my family offered to watch over me so she could take a break and
she refused. I always had respect for her, but seeing that side made me develop more.
I don't feel like it's the same for her. When I speak my mind, I feel like it's met with her being reactive to what I say. I've attempted to change the way I speak to her several times with the same outcome. It feels like if I have an opinion that she automatically is labeled as sensitive or if I have an opinion, I'm labeled as sensitive. She gets upset as if she feels like I'm trying to attack her. I truly don't understand.
Not gonna lie hurts because I feel like we both should be in a point where a mutual respect is considering what we've both been through. I kind of expect her to see how much I loved her after what happened, since it seemed like that she doesn't understand how much I care about her, but it does not seem like she does.
I hate arguing.
I'm very logical and I don't like to hold onto stuff, especially going through the experience almost losing my life without saying goodbye. I don't want to take it for granted. Oh, this is a good one for devout. Devout as a man, what's your thoughts at this point? I want to just close off option my opinions to her and just deal with it on my own CD as a woman, what do you think any experience with being reactive or defensive and how it changed? Appreciate y'all and please don't stop
spreading y'all wisdom and love to the world. You answer that one, so first off, brother, I'm so sorry to hear that this even happened, that you were in a situation like this. It's funny because as much as they give us sometimes be it's like there's a backstory there. So we want to know, like, how did this altercation need to come to be? How did she end up in this shoe out? Like that's just not like a random argument. You didn't say a fistfight, No, exactly.
It wasn't like an argument. This was like a full on, like could you have lost your life? Situation?
So I'm curious to know, first off, how we even got there, you know, but I have been in situation to answer his question about as a woman, you know, being closed off to his opinions. For example, when Deval and I have discussions and he tells me how he feels. One thing I did have to learn was that I don't necessarily need to be defensive when he is expressing to.
Me how he feels. How he feels is how he feels how he feels. And far too often we have.
Not encouraged our men, particularly black men, to be open and vulnerable and say how they feel.
It's like, you want the.
Communication, but when they start to communicate, then we label them as sensitive. And Deval kind of got on me one time when he was saying how he felt about something, and I was just like, yo, I just don't want to hear you bitching and moaning about it, Jesus, And he was like, oh, so now I'm bitching and moaning. So you asked me to express how I feel, and I'm telling you how I feel, but now you're labeling it as bitching and moanings.
What that does is it takes away from now you're guarded.
Yep, yeah, he's guarded now, but it also takes away from his point and what he was trying to say. And I think that as women we need to create safe spaces or as partners or spouses in general and be when you get into a relationship, creating safe spaces for our significant others to really express how they feel without feeling like it's an attack necessary. And I think that that's what she's not doing for him in this space. Not sure how they communicate because also too, are they
arguing with each other? Are they biggering?
Are they just sitting down and having an actual conversation? Are we talking with the intent to get our point across, or are we talking with the intent to actually listen and understand. Like, there's just so many different working parts, especially within a relationship when you think about communication and considering someone else's feelings. So what I would encourage this young man to do is to first off, make sure that the approach that he's taken with this girl, because
she may come across is feeling attacked or sensitive. To let her know that my intention is not to attack you ex or to diminish how you feel, or to make it seem like you've necessarily done something wrong. But these chain of events had led me to feel the way I feel, and the way I feel is the way I feel. That's not up for discussion because you can't talk me out of feeling the way I feel. What we can talk about is what you did that maybe got me there. But it's important to create a
safe space where he can even just rest that. So my advice to you, brother, I'm not sure what Deval would say to you in this circumstance, but from and from me is to make it a space where she feels comfortable to say how she feels and encourage her to do the same for you and let her know that I did.
I've been shot six times fore sis, I'm still here.
Right and I'm still here.
I am still here, So I'm still here and if you want me to continue to be here, we need to find a better way to communicate, and you not take things personally. Because you did something that made me feel away doesn't necessarily mean that you're a bad person.
But we have to also talk about how we got here.
Yeah, so good luck to y'all on that one, man, because that is a rough situation to come back from, a rough situation to come back. I feel like we might almost I have to talk to de Val about this one too, when we might have a follow up, you know, on a future episode.
Where he can give his two sets of both of these listener letters.
Yet, because these were both there, I think you would have some great on Yeah really, I didn't know ya. We get letters like let me tell you, I was like somezing chuckle, and then some were just like whoa, people are over here, man, it's people be going through stuff. And if you're still going through stuff, be sure to write us at dead as Advice at gmail dot com.
We want to hear from you. As a listener letter that's d E A d A S S A d V I C E at gmail dot com.
Yeah. All right, So to round out the show before we let you go, we had this segment called the Moment of Truth, and it's pretty much just in summary, a recap of what you've gathered from this conversation, something you want to leave people with a quick takeaway.
So it's almost like the sound bite in the beginning and then what we're doing at the end to wrap it up. So your sound bye in the beginning has something to do with being misunderstood. Still makes you kind of feel away sometimes and you're working through that. So after the conversation, it could be anything that we spoke about. What's your moment of truth?
You know what?
With the truth, I am.
Committing to not giving up. Yes, I'm committing to that.
I do it every single day day, admit to day and that it didn't didn't bother me either.
I don't care. I don't care. I don't care it. Don't even read it.
I know, I don't. You just post it, don't even read I post, and just.
Don't even read.
I may in the very beginning, like look through a couple of comments just to like engage really quick. But then I'm on to the next thing because I feel like when I post, I'm posting not for the way people are going to receive it, per se. I'm posting because I wanted to post that in that moment. I wanted to get that out, and I want to get that out and take.
What you want from it. Leave it if you want to leave up negative comments, if you're not going through it, lead them. Wow, I leave it because usually shout out to my people who rock with me, they'll swarm and then before you know where that negative comment is going because it was probably something stupid and valid anyway to begin with.
So I let my people handle up. It's like, you know, I got my people behind me.
That no deal.
They know my heart, they know my intentions, they know that we're fully transparent in so many aspects that it's like you can say the negative comment.
But just know you're gonna be dealt with.
Okay, Okay, you'll be dealt with.
Yeah, I'm committing to this. I love that.
I love that my moment of truth is to continue to stand in my truth, which is being unapologetic of who about who I am. If I am misunderstood, caring a lot less about that because just knowing that if I lead with authenticity, if I lead with being who I am, that it leaves room for people who want to believe otherwise to do that on their own time. Yeah, not on mind, Yeah, not on my wife. Yeah, period, I love. Okay, what's one thing you're dead ass about?
It is like a new thing. I'm putting a pot when I have my people in sound a day with K I am dead ass about. I'm dead ass about loving myself.
Yes, Like, look that's real because I'm realizing I have to work on self worth. But I've always had self love, like love, patient, kind about to I'm all of those things to myself.
But I am working on self worth, self worth and self I've always had self love, but not self.
Worth worth because if I knew my words, I wouldn't put myself in certain situations.
That's a good one, that's all.
Yeah.
I'm dead ass about my self.
Love and seeing this moment right now, I am dead ass about I'm dead that's about my joy.
That's good.
I'm dead ass about doing the things that make me happy. If it means that I'm gonna.
Be in my bed for the day, for the day. May you find me there. I told my kids that yesterday. I'm like, listen, we got y'all, we got the food.
Y'all done ate.
I took y'all to get Italian icys. The semi finals are on for the NBA whatever. This is where I'm gonna be at. And what happened All four of them was in the bed with me.
And that's my joy. Yeah, that's my joy. I am deadass about my joy.
I love that.
I love it all right, be telling them where they can find you. Baby Official.
For all tour dates you guys, the b simone on Instagram, all platforms. And let's try this again podcast all about Rezili. It's growing. We have fun on there. You'll see my goofy side on there. Then you're gonna get my deep side because I still like to laugh and have fun.
Oh for sure. We like a cohesion.
You like a little bit of everything, a little bit of everything exactly. And y'all know where to find us Patreon, Ganggang shout out to y'all, Thank you so much. That's where you get exclusive dead ass podcast content. You also get a day with k content all day k ellis family content is lit over on Patreon, So if you haven't subscribed, subscribe so you.
Can catch up.
And you can find us on social media dead Ass the Podcast. You can find me at Kadeen I am, and you can find hubby even though he's busy filming and doing all the things being a whole ass actor. Come on, Leading Mail, Come on, my husband's leading Mail. I'll wait in for them to figure that out because I already know. I already know leading Mail. Okay, find him at I am Zavale. And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, be sure to rate, review, and subscribe. Dead Ass, y'all would be simone.
Yeah.
Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network and its produced by Donorpina and Triple. Follow the podcast on social media at dead Ass the Podcast and never miss a Thing