Ladies and gentlemen, listen to me the same way your parents talk to you about finances. At some point in your life, if you're an adult, you have to then talk to your parents about their finance.
And that's the fact, because Deval've been talking to me about finances like he's my father.
I am your daddy, touche.
But when this comes to our parents, it's a whole another discussion. Deadass. Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm Deval, and we're the Ellis's.
You may know us from posting funny videos.
With our voice and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy.
Wait, I make you need therapy most days. Wow.
Oh and one more important thing to mention, we're married, Yes.
Sir, we are.
We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of li's most taboo topics.
Things most folks don't want to talk about.
Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass is a term that we say every day. So when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Were about to take philotof to our whole new level.
Dead ass starts right now.
Story time. So about two years ago my parents.
My dad retired last year and we've been trying to get my mom to retire ever since then. Right, But for the past two years, I've been speaking to my parents about finances because the only way my parents were going to retire or feel comfortable retiring is if they felt like they could sustain their own lifestyle on their own.
That's fair.
So I'm like, cool, But you know me, I'm like, yo, dad, Mom like, let me retire, you'd be good. My mother, being an independent black woman she is, said no, no, he had four babies.
You know, I don't need nobody. I'm fine, I'm fine, although she.
Ain't trying to come over here and watch.
Your baby at Oh.
You know my mother, but she she she complains about her job every day. So I was talking to her about her four and one K and I was explaining to her. And this is important for you guys to understand. Our parents grew up at a time when there was no business acumen, financial security classes for them in the seventies, in the sixties, that's not what they were used to.
Like, my parents didn't even know what a four on one K was.
They just knew that someone said you need to sign up for one so that you can have a retirement plan.
There was also no gambling really with money in that like there was a fear of putting money in investments.
You want to see your money in your bank account?
Yes, yes, So with that being said, I spoke to my mom. I said, yo, moms, these are your options. Once I broke down what her options were to her,
it was almost as if a light bulb went off. Okay, And I was just like, you didn't know that you could do these things or there were other ways to bring in revenue with your four and one k outside of it just sitting in your account, and she was just like, to be honest, no. And it was in that moment that I realized that more people need to sit down and have conversations with their parents before they retire.
All right, karaoke time today, we're talking about financially sound parents as you know us as children, uh, become financially sound ourselves because it's a process, right, And that was like, what do you wanna say for karaoke to day? And I'm like the first thing that came to mind was this scent thifsan tencent Dalla sinisin Tencent Dalla, She says she don't like the pace we moving to slow.
She want to walk up to with and riis the Temple fight.
Fight and Senta, you got into that, you got into that. Don't be in on the karaoke, but you did that because that's.
My roots, baby, So into the world. Shout out Saint Vincent, my people. I'm coming to Saint Vincent this year, y'all.
Eh Blue.
Actually, by the time this airs, I might have been bearing back. We'll see.
Probably.
I just need a straight flight. Somebody let me to go talk to the Prime Minister. I need a straight flight from Atlanta to Scent. That's the only reason why I haven't been there, y'all.
We'll get it done.
To connected flights done is a bit much. I think I've recently found one which is at least one. But man, I just need a straight flight. Come on, make it happen, Make it happen.
PM.
All right, y'all, let's take a break and we're gonna get into the meat of the show after we pay some bills, so stick around, all right, all right?
So, yeah, I.
Remember you having this conversation with your mom a couple of times. At first she knew that she had her guard up the entire time, like the value, You're not gonna tell me what to do at first she stills like that, But I'm just saying, like the first couple of times you had the conversation before the light bulb moment went off in her head where she was like, oh, you might have a point. She was literally fighting you about it because she's just like, you can't tell me that.
You can't know more about my life than I know about it.
I'll give y'all a little bit of the breakdown of what happens, so y'all can understand how I was explaining to her finances. My mom's been working the same job since I was little, Like it's just forty years. Yeah, so she has she works for the city. She has a very good or one K plan, but also a very good retirement plan. And all she kept saying to me was the val if I work up until this age, which is like two more years, I'll get my full
benefits package. And I said, okay, can you first find out what the difference is if you retire now then later?
And she's like, what you mean?
I said, Mom, find out what the difference will be per month, right, And I said, just listen to me. If the difference between you working now and two more years is twenty five hundred dollars a month, do you understand that you can take your retirement package and everything now. With the money that you make taken out of your four and one K or your retirement package, you could start a business right now, and that additional two zero point five or two thousand dollars you could make that
money with outside revenue by starting another business. Say you bought a couple of properties and you rented those properties out. Say you bought a subway, Say you bought a T mobile store like, say you open up a weed dispensary. Like, there's so many things you can do with that money to give you additional revenue, but you're only focused on getting the maximum amounts of that money because that's what you were taught. And she was just like, Yeah, that's
that's what I was taught. And I said, but Mom, there's so many things that have changed from them. And that just made me realize that our parents are only doing what they know, and it's our responsibility to share with them the things that we've learned because the economy changes all the time.
Yeah, I can speak for my parents, I think coming from a scarcity mindset of you know, their past, where they come from.
Like my mom coming up here at seventeen was nothing.
My dad I think he was nineteen when he came up here, and it's like building everything that you have, you want to see it. I want to see my money. I don't want to owe anybody anything. So my father, he will never lease a car because he's like, no, I need to save my money up and purchase this car because nobody's gonna come for me monthly looking for a bill. Or you know, my mom being afraid to make investments because she's like, you know, I have this money save that. I can see it in my account
when I log in every day. The money is there. I know it's there. So it's trying to build the trust with them where they feel comfortable enough to give you that leeway to kind of educate them, but then
also assist them in taking those risks. You know, when you see an opportunity that presents itself, because like you said, times have changed, opportunities have changed, There's different things to invest in, and sometimes they can't foresee that, so it might require for us to make the investment first and certain things, and they.
Say, oh, it worked out for you.
Y'all might know something that you're talking about, because I think that most parents, particularly our parents' generation, they kind of have one to in one.
So out with us.
You know, it's like, I don't know if I fully believe that you got go went on what you said you got going on. With my father, for example, for a long time, did not understand what Deval and I did.
He was like, it's so key when you say you're on YouTube is YouTube? But pay you? Who's YouTube is a guy?
And I like that, who's YouTube?
YouTube is a guy?
And I'm like, no, Dad, it's a company. And when we put our videos on there, they play ads through it. And that's how he said, oh okay, And then to this day still doesn't know what we do. However, yeah, when we said we were moving from Brooklyn to California and then oh, we purchased the house in Georgia and he came to the house, he was like, oh, y'all must be doing something.
So YouTube is a nice man to pay y'all, Will he pay y'all? So that I can get this house.
You know why you got? Your father sounded like an invalid. Your father don't believe YouTube is a person.
No more, not anymore.
But he did.
But no, your retarded. I don't even know if I can say that anymore. You're you're crazy. But what helped your father understand was having these conversations. I was telling your father for years that he needs to sell rockaway.
Think about it. No, no, not even years.
It's been over a decade, yes, right, over a decade and for a decade. His mindset was like, no, you know, my hold on to it so that when I die, I have something to pass down to my kids.
I died.
Check the mentality, though, Check the mentality, I said, pops, let me ask you a question. Why are you waiting until you die to pass something to your children? Wouldn't it make more sense to be able to give them something while you can watch how they use that investment? Or the right said, what if they need the investment in this moment? You're gonna tell them you gotta wait till I die. Hopefully you don't die for another twenty years, hoping right, But if they can use the investment right now,
why don't you do it? He was just like, I think about it when Rockaway started to become more of an issue a burden than it was an investment property, and I end up taking it over. And I was showing him like, yo, you see all this money that you're putting out. This is money that you will never have to put out again from your retirement account because you sell the property. Remember we did a project called I mean, we did a podcast called Selling Grandma's House.
Yes, that was a real people love that.
People love that. This is an example. Her parents finally agreed to sell Rockaway. The minute they sold Rockaway, your father's account started to go through the roof because your father was paying thousands of dollars a month right.
That he didn't even realize. I think he don't even know.
If he knew, he didn't know because they're fixing things like he fixing small things, and your dad is old school, so he's not gonna call a contractor to come fix something.
He's gonna call a guy he know, through a guy, somebody nephew.
Who's gonna come buy I'm a pack of beer.
Who's gonna say oh, They're like, oh yeah, to fix the boilers typically eight thousand. He's said he can do it for twenty five hundred. Yeah, he'll fix it, but it'll only be working for three days. Now, of course you're another twenty five hundred to fix it again, and before you know it pops. You dodn'et pay this guy twenty five hundred every month for the past two years.
Got it new?
One time to freaking basketball hoop in the front of the house. The water thing on the bottom is cracked, so it leaks, it keeps toppling over. I was like, hey, let's just throw that out and get the boys a new hoop. My father was like, no, no, no, I'm going to get two sun back or I'm gonna go find a rock and it's gonna be all right. So I was like, whatever, Dad. I literally have it in my shopping car on Amazon, about to buy a new
basketball hoop. I'm leaving to go to the store and my father found a big ass rock in the back and I'm my dad and the rock looks.
Heavy as hell, So my dad, how did you bring this time?
It was impressive?
It was tj.
Oh So it wasn't him.
It wasn't him.
Here this whole time, I was like, yo, he never told me TJ though, of course he said, when you got the whe you got the rock, Pops?
He said it was in the back. Man, I said, I see you, Pops say that's all he said.
Of course said he didn't tell me that, And TV didn't tell me that either, because TJ was probably trying to whold Pops down. Who told me that, TJ lift up the Papa found a rock, TJ lifted up and put it there. Now, now the hoop works. See mommy, look, look, watch, look at my goose neck. I'm all right, cas there you go.
All right.
But that said, my father will not buy, and the hoop wasn't super expensive, but he will just refuse to buy anything new if it can be patched.
Your father is an island man, baby, through and through, through and through.
But he ends up selling the property. We take that. I spoke to him.
He takes the property, puts it in an investment account, where the not the property. It takes the funds from the property, puts it in an investment account.
Now it's accruing interest.
Now when they're ready to buy a home, they have the liquid capital to buy a home. But on top of that, he has three children who are interested in investing. One of those children want to do something with investing, he can give them X amount of dollars to say, go do it right now and watch it. And it wasn't until we spoke and talked him into doing that that he says, wow, you know, and then you know, he says to me, now, should have got rid of rock lung.
Of course, I'm like, yeah, yeah, I.
Love how he says these things as if he's come up with them, yeah, revelations. And it's like, bro, we've been telling you the same shit over and over again, but find out on your own time, like much of us have to do.
Right.
Yeah, So I can't even I can't even fault him for that. All right, let's jump into some facts and stats. The average adult child helping care for an aging parent spends on average seven thousand per year on healthcare.
And I want, I want you guys at home to write these down. Write these numbers down, becau, I'm gonna do a little math with y'all. Seven thousand dollars for your own health care, So that on average is about what six hundred dollars a month. Just think about that Okay, six hundred dollars a month on healthcare for your mom and dad.
Remember that, go ahead.
Talking to your parents about their finances as they age will help you understand your potential responsibility in future circumstances.
Now, why is there dead?
Is my debt inherited?
Save time?
Your debt is my dead it becomes in something inherited. Yes, when they passed, they pass on to you all of that burden and responsibility.
So it's good to get.
All up in the mix early and be up in the kool aid and know the flavor from early, because your future could be very, very daunting. And if you're marrying somebody that you know, the in law's death is I mean, the in laws debt is the same for you.
Also, their debts can also be to your advantage. For example, I'm gonna just throw this in here. Kay's mom had a life insurance policy. The life inspurent insurance policy was almost three hundred dollars a month.
Yeah, a month.
But the policy was for.
A decent amount of money, yes, she said, because of her expenses. And your mom's very independent, she said, Because now I'm not working anymore, I don't want to pay this life insurance policy anymore. So I'm just gonna let it lapse. Me and Kadeen was like, no, you will not. She said, what do you mean know you will not? Okay, the life insurance policy is three hundred dollars a month. It's a huge policy. Sign over the rights of that policy to Kadeen. She becomes a an aficiaria. If something
happens to you, we will take over that payment. So we've taken over the payment for three hundred dollars a month. Now, remind you, I told you the average American citizen pays six hundred dollars a month for health care for their parents or for adult care. We cut that in half by paying three hundred dollars a month. And when Mimi passes, hopefully twenty thirty years down the line, we'll be able to take that life insurance policy and split it amongst
her grandkids. So now she's left something to her grandkids that me and Kadeen have invested in that is less expensive than the six hundred dollars a month we would have to expend on her care. On top of that, we chose to move Mimi and Papa with us in here to help them have a better quality of life, to learn how to take care of themselves so that we won't have to expend that additional six hundred dollars a month, because a lot of these things can be circumvented by having conversations early.
Yep, when you talk to your parents about money matters, choose your timing and words carefully.
Kadeen is very good at that.
She's I'm gonna talk to my mom about this and make sure that we do it in the right time, because you know me, I.
Like to do things head on, head on, right, Let's talk about it right now, let's do it, let's execute let's see it.
It's on the shelf. That what's on the shelf?
I don't know, but I just thought about it, like maybe like hold hold on, hold on now, hold.
Your horses, hold your horses.
But no, you also want to speak to your parents with respect and not make them feel like their dignity is being taken away from them because they are getting older.
You know.
It's just that you can sometimes have the foresight to see things that they can't see. Considering the conditions of the world now and what we're dealing with from an economic standpoint.
This next one's important, but.
When talking to your parents about money, try to position the conversation as if you're asking for help. This may help them be more comfortable opening up about your finances. For example, Hey, dad, trying to learn more about retirement plans. Can you tell me about yours? You know?
That's one's one.
The way I was able to actually break your pops was to ask him what his plan was. Every time I came to him with an idea, he was not interested in my idea.
It wasn't until I asked him his plan.
And then when he said to me, when he dies, he wanted to leave something for his kids, And I was like, oh, that sounds like a dupe plan, but why wait till you die? Then, when I said why wait till you die, I've seen a light both offends head and his life.
But that's why I think that's important.
If you pose it in a way where you're trying to help or you're asking for help, as opposed to make it it seem like I'm gonna know it all and you don't know stuff because you're old, right, they'll be more inclined to take your advice.
Of course, and those I'm a genuine standpoint too. Write they feel like, oh, Jabe wants to know about what I know.
Because genuinely I do want to know, because as much as we think we know everything, there's a reason why they lived this long and have been as successful as they've been.
Maybe he could have taught me something that I didn't know.
You got to give them the same credit, the same way we were all Jackson to listen to us and you know, you know there's certain things and they go again the same cycle.
Remind your parents that you want.
To get a clear picture of their wishes for the future and help unburden the family. That's the goal ultimately, right, Get clear about wills, power of attorney, and health proxies.
Okay, this is important.
Most family issues happen around weddings and funerals. The reason why they happen around weddings and funerals is because finances are involved. Nobody and family ever want to talk about finance and go my finance and my finance as well. When someone get married, you got to talk about it, and when someone dies, you will definitely have to talk about it because we're either going to have to talk about expenses for a funeral, or debt, or what's going to happen to the property that so and so had
in their name. And you know what happens when families don't discuss these things and it can't get left to anybody, It goes to the state.
That's the last thing y'all want to do is give them people more money. Come on now, seriously, and particularly healthcare proxies too. You don't want someone to be incapacitated or incapacitated or unable to make their own decisions. Talk about it, and then it's an argument over somebody's bed. Talk about what should be happening. So to put those things in place early and reach out to professionals for legal and financial advice, so whoever's in charge of the
estate making sure that somebody else. Sometimes it helps to have a party that's not biased, that's not involved, not connected, not family, not a friend, that can just give you a clear cut explanation of how to move forward with further investments and things of those natures.
Now, I did not go to YouTube university or learn about finances.
A god Brother is a certified CFP.
Sewn has been on the podcast before.
I yes, he's been. Sean Freeman, that's my guy.
Part of the reason why our empire is the way it is is because I've always asked questions of a professional from the time I was in the NFL until now. I always say, Okay, Sean, we have two plans. I need a short term plan to generate revenue consistently, but I need a long term plan to take care of my family. And to be honest, you don't have to
choose one or the other. You have to find a way to implement both so that you can live the life you want to live now while giving the people you love the life you want for them later on.
So always speak to a professional.
Don't just go try to figure things out on your own or take gambles or guests or no. Speak to people who've done it the right way. And when I say speak speak to people, don't ask me. Contact your certified financial planner or CPA or anybody who has who went to school to do this and ask them how to build out your wealth plan.
Did your parents ever have an unhealthy relationship with money?
Yes, grow yes, I know my dad does. My dad so frugal.
My dad keeps cash upstairs in his room that he counts every night like Scrooge McDuck.
We should call him Scoop McDuck from now when that's his new name is Scoop McDuck.
He counts it every single night, like my father loves to see cash in his hand.
And because of.
That, when it comes to why, I.
Think, because of that, neither one of them have a healthy relationship with investing outside of buying property. Because at a time, and this is important for people to understand too, they'll always tell you, oh, if you buy property, if you buy property, it's the best thing you can do.
They will say that because back in the seventies and the eighties, when they were buying properties, for example, a brick house in New York City at the time, the same brick houses going for one to two million dollars. Now they're going for forty thousand dollars. So yeah, it was a lot easier than to get a home for forty thousand dollars. When my parents were buying properties, it
was about one twenty. The same property that my parents bought for one hundred and twenty k it maybe the most two hundred thousand in KENARSI nineteen hundred square feet are now going for seven hundred thousand dollars, So our generation doesn't have the same ability to say, hey, I'm gonna save up a couple bucks. Put down twenty percent on an eighty thousand dollar home. Twenty percent on an
eighty thousand dollars home is sixteen thousand dollars. Twenty percent on a seven hundred thousand dollars home is one hundred and forty thousand dollars. Most people will never be able to save one hundred and forty thousand dollars in their life, So us as millennials or gen Z will not be able to make the same financial plans as our parents. So we had to find new ways to generate revenue. So since we found new ways, it's important for us to share those new ways because our parents are now
retiring in this economy. They're not retiring in that economy where they just bought property, and I mean they're stuck there.
Yes, yeah, they're definitely stuck there.
And that's the poor relationship with money that I feel like our parents have. They still look at money as the way the economy is, the way it was when they first started making money, but that was forty years ago, so much has changed, and forty years from now, it's probably going to be bitcoin and a whole bunch of stuff that I'm not going to understand, and I'm gonna be like, yo, Jack, Yo, Jacks, my.
Man, what are you doing?
What are you doing?
I invested all of this money for you to go to school. Man, let me know, help me, help me? Jackson helped me.
Yeah.
No, it's true.
Even and my parents will say thing unhealthy relationship with money. They want to see their money in their hands, they want to know that it's there, but also to think about us. We for a period of time had that unhealthy relationship with money where we were just like watching every dime they came in and went. And then we realized too. Once we kind of just relinquished that and said, you know what, it's money. You have to spend it to make it. Absolutely, let's just do what we got
to do. It started coming back in in abundance because we just kind of let it do what it was supposed to be do. We let our money work for us.
Well, it didn't just come in abundance because we let it do.
I mean we worked hard, we worked hard, but I.
Also listened to Sean.
Yeah, and when he when he explained to me how money really is just a tool. Like money is not a thing that you're supposed to keep in your account as a shrine to honor yourself.
A lot of people do that, right, I look at all this money I made.
Now, I'm a look at this money I made so I can feel better but myself, that's not what money was used for. Money was only created as a barter tool, So you're supposed to use that money for other things. That's really what You're not supposed to just collect the money like Scrooge McDuck. Once you have the money, you're supposed to find ways to utilize this tool because while you're young, you can always make what more money?
Yep, that's always the hope.
But our parents was you make it in saved because a lot of our parents came from places where they didn't get opportunities to make a lot of money. So you keep it aside for a rainy day, just in case something happens. And our parents come from the generation that they work till sixty five. Our generation does not want to. I don't want to work for nobody till sixty five. I don't So for me, it was like, let me find the best way. Right we're gonna work for these gigs. Let me find the best way to
utilize this tool. And I started to find ways in a quick way. Just to tell you guys, is I use the five X rule. The five X rules. So the five EX rule for me is this, if I make ten dollars, I know the government is going to take forty percent of that ten dollars, So forty percent of that ten dollars would be four dollars.
With that four dollars, I'm not going to give it to the government.
I am going to take half of that money, which is two dollars, and I'm going to try the five exit because that five X will give me what.
Another ten dollars.
So I'll take two dollars out of that four and I will find a business or an investment or a project that I can put the money in and turn that two dollars which would have went to the government to ten. And in what you do you rents and repeat, and you rent and repeat, and what happens is your money the simple ten dollars that you would have made gave the government four took three, paid your bills, took another two, you know, enjoyed yourself and in that one dollar you would have saved it.
This is a different kind of and then renting your money or washing your money.
What you're saying, you gotta rint it, you gotta wash your money.
But you see what I'm saying, that's typically how the normal person lives. I make ten dollars, I pay the government, I pay my bills, I do something for myself, and I save a dollar. Most people, even if you think about biblical times, you tie ten percent. So if I have ten dollars, if I can save one were the course of years, it's like, nah, I'm not giving the government four dollars. I'm going to pay my taxes, but I'm going to take two of that and I'm going to invest this.
We have another ten dollars.
So now not only do I have ten dollars, I make ten dollars from working, but now I make ten dollars for my business.
Now I have twenty dollars.
So now twenty percent of that twenty dollars, not twenty percent. I take that money rather than paying forty percent to the government, which would have been eight dollars, it's four dollars. Take the four dollars and I do what with it? Five exit Now I got twenty somewhere from ten to twenty twenty to forty forty to eighty.
And that's how you build out wealth. It takes time. It just takes time.
That is super dope. I hope y'all picked up on that. The five X thing. That's really and that's a good one. I don't even realize that's what we do, but that.
Is what we do. And that's literally.
We did it with property, we did it with the podcast, We did it with the live shows. I'll give y'all into a quick insight, just really quick insight about business. How and why do we do the podcast live shows? Right, we don't have any sponsors. Our sponsors are ourselves. I make money doing the Teama insists the money that I make doing the Team and Sisters, the government is going to tax me forty percent. So what I do is I say, I'm not that forty percent that I would
have given to the government. I'm going to take half of that forty percent and I'm going to invest that in another project that's going to make us more money for us, for Kadeen and I that's everything else you see, all of the content we create, all the properties we start oping. I am looking to open up a weed dispensary. But all of the things you see come from one project. And when we first started that one project was what the gym. The gym YEP and the gym led us
into doing more content on social media. Part of the way, I was able to shout out to my man Josh over here.
Josh.
Part of the reason why Kadeen and I were able to transition into being full time content creators is during the time when I was still at the gym, I used to pay Josh monthly to come out to La to film some of the content. That money that I spent to job that we use to create more content brought in five x of the money I spent to Josh. That money I then was able to use to build out another platform. But it all started from the gym.
I saved that money in and I was just like, I'm going to just continue the five X rule, and that's always been my plan. You can't look it up, that's just my plan. I call it the five X rule. So I always try to five x my money.
I invest coin that shot. All right, y'all, let's take a quick break and in the sake of in the vein of paying bills, let's do that, and we're gonna move into listen nutters when we come back.
Bow stick around, y'all.
All right, we're back. Let's dive right into these listener letters. First, let me say you guys are dope. I've been listening for from the UK for a hot minute now and love the topics you discussed since the days of Jackson is Tim shoot and roro keiki?
Do you love ten years Agoe?
I know, I know you love context, so let's hope this ain't too extra Okay, thank you.
Thank you for the intro.
Girl appreciate that getting married, growing a family, and building a legacy was the intention, but unfortunately my negligence in the wrong choice of men has delayed that dream for me. I'm now a single mom of two incredible brown boys, focusing on our little family strength and strengthening our spirituality. Kse statement about having autonomy over our time is the ultimate goal. Building a business where I'm able to be the best mother I can be while being present for
them and providing for them is what drives me. However, I'm stuck. The struggle is real. I've made so many sacrifices. For example, we have not been on holiday for seven years, no self care days, no extra spending, scaling back whenever possible, and I'm working as much as I can, but trying to save on a budget. With growing boys to provide for and little external help, no financial support, we were
barely making it through the time the months. Sometimes I've tried to put my dreams to the back of my mind.
But the older they get eight and fourteen this year.
Yeah, to think of it, the harder it becomes and the more frustrating it becomes at times, not being able to provide for them how I want to. I have all the ideas, everything lined up, ready to start, but can't seem to be able to get a startup fund to make these dreams a reality.
What happens?
Yep, I feel stuck in a system. I just want to have control over my time, be financially secure, and give back to those that have helped our little family, brightening up my little corner of the world, if you will, and then pay it forward by helping others in similar positions as myself and show my boys, the world and the process. Any guidance for a struggling single mom trying to make it? How can I get a business startup loan with bad credit? Thank you for taking time to
read my life letter. Big up to them, four handsome boys and blessings from the most High to you and your beautiful family.
Thank you so much. I received that all right money man.
When I feel it her though, I feel her how that feels to just feel like, damn, I can't catch my footing right.
The first thing I realize is that she's doing it by herself. So kudos to her for doing it by herself. And that's unfortunate that she has to do it by herself.
Knowing that she desires to be with someone.
But I do wonder though she says she sacrificed a lot, you know, seven years not doing any holidays, no self care days, no extra spending, but it's impossible to keep up. I don't know the laws in the UK. I don't know the laws in the UK, but I do know this. The easiest way to quote unquote save money, which is not really saving money, is to whatever your business strategy or business plan is, start in LLC. Yes, that costs money.
But when you start in LLC and you register your LLC as an escort, Now an LLC just removes liability. Your tax status will still be the same until you register as an escorporate. Escorp changes your tax status. Once your tax status changes, now you can be a small business. Once you're a small business and you have a business, you have the right to invest in your business. When you invest in your business, that is a tax write off.
You see what I'm saying. So now rather than making all of your money, and like I said, I don't know all of the tax laws in the UK, but I know in the United States, if you make a certain amount of money, right they're going to tax you at a certain rate if you don't have any right offs. And the easiest way to get right offs is to start a business. When you make, like I said, ten dollars, rather than giving the government three dollars, you take a dollar and a half. You invest it in your business
because that money would have been going anyway. Think about it, and that's the important part. I said, Well, why do you take half of what you would have took to the government, because you're still going to have to pay taxes to the government. But what you don't want to do is just give all that money to the government and not see it. So you start a business so that you can ultimately make that money grow. Right, So rather than just taking making all your money, take your money,
start an LLC. That money that you would have given the government invested. And people said, what if I invest it and I lose it? This is my clear mindset. If I wouldn't have invested it and just gave it to the government, I would.
Have lost it anyway.
Don't we talk about that all the time.
I'm always going to vow, like you sure I can get this right now, and he just like, get it, get it. It's for the business anyway, and they're gonna take the money anyways, to go ahead and get it.
And I'm like, all right, we'll say less.
And what it does is it puts your soul at rest because it's like, well, actually, now I'm actually.
Playing with someone else's money.
Technically you are, because that money that they would have taken with you is technically the government's money. But before you give it to them, use as much as you can for yourself. And the thing is the government incentivizes people who get LLC's and start businesses because they want more people to start business. The problem is most people try to just get up as much money as they can and then they throw their money in the business without doing full research on the business. Do research on
the business. Don't just like I said before, don't just jump out here on the women. Go to YouTube. Speak to a certified financial planner. Find out what you can say or what you can afford to invest in or invest with. Stick to that plan and be consistent that one dollar will turn into two, will turn into four, will turn into eight, and then before you know it, it's like, hey, I have all of these extra funds that I can use, or you can do like we do,
Uncle Sam, stop listening. But since we are influencers and entertainers, we have to travel in order to create content. If you understand what I'm saying without understanding what I'm saying, So when we travel, I'm here, you know I'm here, but I'm not here. When you travel to create content, you're not on vacation. You're working, so you can write it off. If you understand what I'm saying some of it. You understand what I'm saying and what I'm saying is you can find ways when you have an LLC or
you have a business to enjoy your life. You understand what I'm saying and not feel like you're stuck just going away.
So that was kind of stuck something to tell her. She just says she wants to build a business. So my approach to that, and she didn't say what builds the business? It was but like Devosi, if you start the LLC, find a niche market for something that is needed.
And talking you said you didn't know what to say, but you said exactly what you're supposed to say. Find a niche market and something that you're passionate about that wouldn't be an additional job, it's something that you do enjoy with and provide a service. The easiest way to start a business is provide a service in a place somewhere near or around that you live, or do doing something that you're passionate about, because then your second business is not a job.
That's your passion to other people.
And turn your passion into your paycheck.
Here you go, passionate to your paycheck.
I love that all right, Onto our final listening letter of the day.
Wh Hey KK and Deval.
I first like to say that I'm a huge fan of your work and the beautiful family that you two have created together. Thank you so much. We appreciate you. It's truly inspiring. I'll get right to it. My husband and I have been married for seven years together nine we're both active duty military. Due to recent promotions both for both of us in our careers, we have been separated due to training schools and deployments for the last two and a half years. Sorry to hear that, and
thank you for your service. It has caused a strain on our marriage. When my husband came to visit me back in September from his deployment, I felt he was too invested in his phone and not the time we had together. I went through the phone and saw that there had been an exchange on Snapchat between him and a woman who he used to date. I waited until he left and confronted him about I waited until he left and confronted him about it. I wonder why she
waited until he left. I waited until he left and confronted him about it. Since then, I've deployed, I've apologized for how I approached it. We've both started therapy, but he don't talk. Oh, but we don't talk. I asked him about working things out, and when I bring up the future, he is avoidant and has no answers. We have a five year old son. He only calls and puts our son on the phone and doesn't exchange with
me directly. My husband has expressed recently that he doesn't feel that we are each other's person, that he's losing his attraction to me because of my attitude and this is not how he envisioned his family. That he is in a constant state of mental chaos to be a good father and ousland, but knows he's not trying his best. He acknowledges that my attitude comes from his actions and that he broke a level of trust, but something just seems to prevent him from wanting to try to make
it work. I still love my husband very much and want to work on things. It hurts that the person I want to be with said has said in a multitude of ways, through words and actions, that he pretty much doesn't want things to work out. How long can I keep praying he has a change of heart. No more time you get to stop praying that he has
a change of heart. When people show you and tell you who they are, believe that or should I start preparing for what it will look like if he does decide he wants to divorce, because that's what it feels like is coming to any and all. The vice is helpful because at this point it's affecting my work. I'm in a constant state of worry and just overall heartbroken. Thank you so much. I pray this letter gets to you, guys, and God bless I'm.
So sorry you're heartbroken, and you know, having to exist like that. First of all, just not even being in the same space with your spouse for like two and a half years, that's tough to deal with. Deval and I have done the long distance thing when you were in the league, and even now to this day, when Devoup's filming or something and he's a way, we just literally cannot go.
I know, I'm bad. I can't do without my wife. I need my wife and vice versa. If I'm away and I can't get her on the phone or if I can't get her on FaceTime, I'm pissed's I'm in a bad mood.
I always know what it is and I'm just like, he just missed me.
I do be missing you. I don't know how people. I don't know how people do long distance relationships. That's a special ministry.
It really is.
But he's told you in every way but the way you wanted to hear it, that he is not invested anymore or invested the same way that you are. So I feel at this point, because he's shown you who he is and he's been transparent about it, it's best if you just give him what he wants and work on yourself and think about how you'll be able to pick up the pieces and move forward and have a really good co parenting relationship for your five.
Year old son.
I disagree with one thing.
Fuck giving him what he wants, sweetheart, get what you want. You don't want to live like this. Remember you said you said give you said you know, if he what he wants.
I know what you mean.
I'm saying, fuck, give him what he wants, what you need for your life, because you don't want to live like that. So since you don't want to live like this, go get what you want. Because if you if you frame it as give him what he wants, then it's like when I'm doing this for you, and that can be you.
Don't give him that power.
I see what you mean, and I'm.
Not saying fun. What I'm saying is he's showing you in a multitude of ways what he wants. Right, ask yourself what you want, and if that's not what you want, take control of what you want. You want a different life with a spouse that will be supportive. Hopefully you don't. You guys don't have to live long distance because I honestly feel like the long distance is what you guys weren't prepared for. Yeah, I don't think he's a bad guy. I don't think you a bad woman like I don't.
We don't know enough about your relationship to place blame, right, But what I'm saying is that you don't know you you know you don't want this, and since you know you don't want this, be honest with him about what you don't want, and then you move accordingly.
It takes the power in her hand, Yes.
And that's what she needs because she's heartbroken, and I don't want her to sit there and be heartbroken. If you mentioned she's fighting for us in our country, you know, thank you for your service.
A mental strain, emotional strain on everyone.
Absolutely, you got a five year old son. Yeah, yeah, But first of all, both of you, thank you for your service. We appreciate you because we wouldn't be able to live in our freedoms that we have if it weren't for people like you who sacrifice families in time with each other, yeah, to protect our freedom. So much love to both of y'all, not just you, but both of y'all, and your son for being you know he has to sacrifice too, both of his parents are fighting
for our country. So shout out to all three y'all, regardless of whether y'all stay together or work it out.
Sounds good to me.
If you want to be featured as a listener letter, email us at dead ass Advice at gmail dot com.
That's d E A D A S S A D V I C E at gmail dot com.
All right, moment of truth time, like you packing it up? Where you going.
To be honest with you? Baby? I'm tired. I'm freaking tired.
We had to go to the kids going on today, we had to deal with the.
Death and the family. We did not sleep much last night. We're exhausted. But you know what, we're here.
We are here. Are we here?
Because K calling them might get.
It's also allergy season out here and heavy U in at o so.
But no, we are here.
We appreciate you guys so much that we actually enjoy this. This is our time to kind of get away and talk about the things we're going through.
Talk about some other things, but we're talking today about financially sound parents and teaching our parents about finances the same way they have taught us, and how things have changed over time.
Yes, so my moment of truth, I guess I go first today?
Baby is.
Now you just lie, you go first? But I had it and just literally this is she's.
Just brain farted. No, listen, this is my moment of truth.
This Never is never too early in a relationship with your parents to start discussing with them their retirement plan, because the earlier you figure it out, the more time you get to help them with that plan. So for me, now that I think about it, when my parents were, you know, starting to get on that age of fifty, you know, I was the time twenty eight, twenty eight.
Yeah, you're right there, you're right there, not mi though I got twenty five more years.
I should have started talking to them at that point so that the conversation doesn't come out of nowhere.
You know, what's your retirement plan?
Dad?
What's your retirement plan?
Mom? I just want to know, you know, a couple months go by, has anything changed in the retirement plan? You know, ask them questions, have you looked at this in your retirement plan? Because once you've opened the door to have that discussion, when it comes time for them to retire, it doesn't seem like it's caught off guard. It's like, oh, we've been discussing this, so let's move collectively as a group.
That's so funny you say that, because it just came back to me. I was going to say that. As much as Deval and I talk about transparency and communication within romantic relationships, that same transparency and communication should also be extended to familial relationships, acc particularly parents. So it becomes that much easier high five five. It becomes that much easier for your parents to maintain or build a level of trust with you, so that way they will feel more empowered.
You win it right now?
Go ahead?
I like it.
Go ahead. It was a good moment of truth.
That's you know, they'll feel more empowered to allow you to help them make the necessary investments and changes so that they can financially benefit as well as you in the long run.
Kadel y'all.
Ellis my brain be working when it wants just a little chippy.
I love your brain.
Chill Chill. Find us on Patreon, y'all, because that's where we at.
And I won't even say that the content is that much cleaner over there.
Because it's not.
We've been cutting up. On Patreon, y'all.
You can see exclusive dead Ass podcast content as well as more extended Ellis Family content, and you can find us on social media at dead Ass the Podcast.
I'm Kadeen I am and don't forget that.
If you want to be featured as one of our listener letters, you can email us at then ask Advice at gmail dot com.
We did, We did that already. See your brain Fried.
My brain Fred Well.
I am devour And if you're listening on Apple podcast, be sure to rate, review and subscribe, and make sure you pick up your copy of We over Meet the counterintuitive approach you getting everything you want out of your relationship.
We should do a family one. We over Meet the Family. Addition, kids to parents, Parents to.
Kids, Doom Doom, Doom, Stay Tuned Baby, dead Ass.
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