Did Khadeen Get A BBL?

I'll make you need derby most days. Wow. Oh and one more important thing to mention, we're married, Yes, sir, we all. We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of them life's most taboo topics, things most folks don't want to talk about. Do the lens of a millennium married couple. Dead ass is a term that we say every day. So when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred the truth, the whole truth, and nothing about the truth. Were about to take philow

talk to a whole new level. Dead ass starts right now. Story time, you got a story time about my ass? I got I have a lot of stories. I'm sure you have lots of stories stories about that stories, but no, um, this story is going to take me back to November. Okay, November, Um, everybody knew I had my health issues or whatever. Blah blah blah. We talked about that. Kadein went to Jamaica.

And when Kadein came back from Jamaica, she was looking at these pictures of herself from Jamaica and just to give you, you know, just to kind of let you guys know what it's how it's been. Um. Of course, the Quota was born November eight, twenty twenty one, after about nine weeks postpartum. Keanean's like you, I'm ready to get back in shape. January comes around and Conean's in the gym NonStop. I think it was from January to March. Yeah, you had got down to I think it was at

one point like one hundred and fifty pounds. You were like about about one fifty five, but were not quite one fifty. But she wasn't really really good. She gave birth. I was that morning I stepped on the scale. I was like, wow, this was my biggest, heaviest pregnancy. So Coneanan got down to where she like, she like, I feel comfortable and feel good about where I am. And at the time, that was those three months from jan

So we're about March heading into April. April was a heavy month for us, but it was my birthday, it was Jackson's birthday. On we had travel and then starting March, I mean starting in May, we had gotten into filming and I had filmed every month from May, I was in Canada, then we were down south. We did a bunch of stuff. Before we knew it, we were heading into podcast season. We're doing a live shows, and then we were heading into the birthday seasons with your Dad's

birthday and Kyle's birthday. Before we knew it, six months had gone by and Kadeine and I had kind of fell off of being in the gym. That leads us to November. November. Kate was looking at some video and some pictures from herself in November and she said, devout, when did I get fat? And I said, what you mean, like when you get fat? She said, look at me? And she was like, She's like, look at me, look

at me. I am a year postpartum. I was in better shape earlier this year than I am now and I can't take it, like I'm sick of it, and I'm like, baby, it's not that bad. She said, no, don't tell me it's not that bad. You're gonna have red carpets next year. I Am not going to be the wife that everyone looks at and says, oh, that's de Vio's wife. And from that moment, I've watched Kadein go to a transformation. This song is dedicated to my wife, who people have asked me if k has gotten to BBL,

which is hilarious. I'll get into why I think that's hiliars. The song is dedicated to my wife cadem Oh my god. It's a song about I like big buts and I cannot lie you. Other brothers can't DENI when you see your pretty Facebook and then team you get sprung. Hey, you've been sprung from that law. I mean, granted, the booty wasn't booty and like it is now back in the day. Well, okay, but you I have booty to

give you credit. When I met you, one hundred and fifteen pounds, your waist was probably about a twenty, but you always had a thirty nine inch hip, right, So you were always like, your hip to waste ratio was always above twelve to thirteen. And this is for all you gentlemen who trying to figure out how you know, like you like curvey women. To me, it's never been about how much a woman weighs. It's always been about the hip to waste ratio. That's a big thing. So

when if if you're hip to waste ratio. For me, when I was younger, I was like, oh, it's about twelve. You know, we're looking at twenty six thirty eight, so very good standard that was. That was the minimum of where I was just like, oh, she she got a bumper when you get to the fourteen fifteen, you know what I'm saying. When you're looking at twenty six forty twenty six forty one, you know what I'm saying. I was like, Oh, she hold it. You know, she dragging

the wagon right there. So for me, that's that's what it has always been about, you know, when I'm looking at kids, like, she's always even when she's been pregnant, right Like I don't know if you've been following us long on Instagram, but Kay used to make fun of me exactly like I like her when she's fluffy, because there was a point where I don't remember what your waste was, but I remember your hips was like a forty four and I was enjoying myself. I was enjoying myself.

So Codeine always had a nice hip to waste ratio. But I've seen that happening. But wait, wait, don't don't. Don't talk about it yet, because we got to if I got excited, we're talking about booties today, y'all died right in. He forgot about the bills. He's forgot about the ass. We're gonna take a quick break and we're to come back in and we're gonna unpack. All right, we're back, so let me yum. That story time was great,

But I gotta I gotta tell this story. Right when I was dating k I remember going to her mom's We're seeing pictures from her mom's fiftieth birthdays. I didn't go. We weren't talking at the time. This is the time with me and Mimi wasn't vibing right right. But her mom for that year, turning fifty, had been in the gym, yes, because she was like, I'm turning fifty this year, I'm going to take care of myself. And I remember seeing your mom in this red dress at fifty and I

remember saying, damn, yeah, my mom was looking. She was always kind of in the gym, you know, try to take care of but not this year in particular. She was like, for fifty, I'm gonna be And I remember my uncle Kevin and my Pops was just like, bro, if you're dating a girl, seriously, don't make a commitment until you see her mom's And I remember seeing your mom's and being like, this is fifty. You can see into the future. Signed me all the way up at

that point. That was after three kids. That was after three kids, and then that meant that you had another good, solid at least thirty years, at least thirty years at least thirty years of you being fine. And then and the funny thing is now I come in the house and your mom still stacked. She still played tennis, she still walk around, and she's sixty five. She walk around, she's surprised she'd be running and jumping with the kids.

And your mom is holding like a track athlete because she used to run track and play netball in Jamaica. So it kind of kills me when people be like, did kay get a BBL? And I'm like, have you seen mom? And my mom will tell you she'd be the first one who always tried to encourage me to lose dim my ass is light, all right, I said, meet me. I can't dim my ass is like because it came from you. Since like, how am I gonna

How am I gonna dim the ass? Like? Okay? She said when she was a kid growing up that she used to get made fun of because she was stacked. And I said that's you know, normally as a kid, once you're getting made fun of, that's what she but yeah, And I was like, they probably wanted one, because now everybody wants the one right now. It's the boys making fun of her because they had crushes on her. But boys don't know how to tell you they like you,

so they make fun of you. Know. It's like, you see the girl a pretty good I'm gonna pus you in the bush. That's what That's what boys do back in the day. I like this girl, I'm a tripper in the line, right, So you make fun of the things that you like. Look at you with your big old bud. She said. She used to try to hide it all the time. And in turn, I remember vividly being in ballet school at one point, and I would have been about thirteen fourteen. This is when I realized, like, oh,

you kind of have like a little Kurt. Right. So I'm on the ballet bar with all of my you know, dance mates, and I remember my dance she used to have like this pointer stick thing and she just like, you know, tap you on your back or your shoulders or or your feet to turn out more. And she's always come and hit my ass to be like Kadeen t talk talk hips forward, hips forward. I'm like, I don't know how much more forward you want the ghosts, but one thing this ass ain't gonna do is took

not for you, not for nobody. And that's when I realized my ballerina hopes and dreams were out the window because I might have been a little too stacked to be the larina. You know. It was funny, but but yeah, um talking about body recomposition today, I think I'm just in this space, y'all. If I'm really just unpacking, like why I've just been in overtime and to speak to my story time and being tired of my own bullshit.

Then it comes a point in life and I don't know if it's my approach to forty or what it is, but I am just over making excuses for myself. No, I not gett a b BL. No, set the record straight, because if you're gonna put this out as the topic of the show, No, I did not get a b BL, y'all. I don't think I've had, or will have, or ever have six to eight weeks to be able to not sit on my ass. I don't have time for that. Girls who are able to get to have the luxury

to do that more power to uses. Whatever makes you feel good is great. But no, I did not get a b BL. But I think I'm just on this road now to just trying to take the best care of myself. And some of it is you know, of course physical, because wanting to be back on camera, I wanted to be considered for roles or wanting to you know, be a host again and be in that light. I feel like I'm no longer having to worry about starting

all over again. So it's being pregnant, postpartum life, gaining the weight, losing the weight, not being consistent in the gym. I'm just over it at this point. I'm over myself self sabotaging. I'm over trying to make excuses for why I can't do things when I know I'm fully capable. And even more so, it's just the health stuff. As much as we joke about my mom and her body, you know, and her being in the gym, she was taking pretty decent care of herself and had a heart

attack at fifty four. Yeah, Like a lot of this is internal for me too. My mother had to stress induced heart attack. Like who even knew, Like, you know, she would take, you know, pretty good care of results. She's not a big eater, worked out. It was very conscious of that. Now, granted, wasn't getting the sleep that she probably needed or the nutrients in, but you know, I'm wanting to do that for my family, Like I want to be in the best space that I can

be physically. I don't know, if I just feel better in general, my mood is better. Our connection, you know, that's something that we do together, we take pride in. But what I really want to know is why people ain't ask him to valid if he got his body done. So that's the bigger question. I was going to talk to you about this because me and Trouble was laughing downstairs and I was like, this is the funniest part

about the expectations to society, societal expectations for women. Kadein and I've been on this journey together, right, and the support has been amazing. Sidebar that I appreciate you. Thank you for that, No, because sometimes I think you'll post about it or you'll make comments and people think that it's misconstrued. They think that it's you forcing me to work out or forcing me to be in a particular

shape because it's something that you want. But at no point is it that it's not all me speaking my goals aloud, speaking my dreams aloud, speaking you know, the need for support allowed, and you just showing up for me in that space. So I love you for that, because I know some days I ain't the easiest person to deal with. Then I get a little wishy washy, but I'm at the space now where I just really I'm trying to be more deliberate about what my life

is going to look like. So no, I appreciate you you're saying that because I've also you know, seen some of the comments when we've been in the gym together and maybe like get my girl a rest, Like why are you so hard on her? Her body image shouldn't be the biggest thing on your plate. And I'm just like Kadeen wants to get in shape and I'm working out with her. I don't know how it became a thing where I'm forcing you, but that also talks about

societal pressures and issues. Right if we work out together, people automatically assume that I'm forcing you to work out. We both get in the best shape of our lives. And they automatically assumed the devout went and got in the gym, but Codeine got her butt done. What people don't understand is I weigh two hundred pounds now. I've never been two hundred pounds of my life. My whole life,

I've been on the slimmer side. I've been about one hundred and seventy five two hundred and eighty pounds over the last couple of years, I've been doing a lot more cardio type of work to be slim for television. But as Codein and I got into this journey together, she wanted to lose weight, but be more curvy. So we started to do a lot more heavy weightlifting like I did when I was playing football, and I gained thirteen pounds of muscle in the last four months because

Codeine and I have been going to the gym. That was another thing. Codein and I had to have a gym in our house. Our house gym was is a maintenance gym, but Codein says she wanted to build her legs, built her butt. So we went started going to La Fitness. We in La Fitness three times a week, focusing on building. I am two hundred pounds and my waist is a

thirty two. My waist was a thirty two when I was one hundred and seventy six pounds, which to me is crazy because even my boys would be like, Yodee, what you want Like your shoulders man big, Like you gotta stop lifting, Like it's the view from up top. For me, you know, it's the shoulders and it's the keep it up. So so I'm never gonna lose his weight now because if you if you enjoying it, I'm enjoyed enjoy it. But it was crazy to me that people see the change in my body and their first

thing is why you've been in the gym. You look great, but they see the change in your body and their first thought is, codeine went and got her button done.

And it's crazy to me that people hold women to higher beauty standards than men, because in our society, a man's value is in the money he makes, where a woman's value is in her ability to stay pretty and have kids, which to me is crazy because it's like, you don't think women put work into to be beautiful, Like why is it automatically that it's just okay if she got beautiful, right, she had to have something done, Oh for sure. I mean that's the culture that we're

in now. It's like you it's like literally trying to dissect and decipher. First of all, you're trying to blow through you know, filters and photoshop and everything first off, you know, because then you'll meet somebody, you'll see a picture of them on Instagram and you see them in person, and you'd be like, wait a second, right, right, the same person right? Cap you know? Um? But also too, it's it's the time that we're in. Women are just

electing to go and get surgery. You don't have an ask go buy one, like you know you want some tities, get them, Like, there's just so many different alternatives or options for people that no one is going to equate to hard work because that's not something I think that's

necessarily valued as much nowadays. It's instant gratification. How we can make it happen quick and then keep it moving, which which I think is important that you're talking about instant gratification because when people see codein, they don't realize that for the past two years, you've seen cadein pregnant

and then postpartum. So yeah, for two years you saw cadean one way, but the cadem you're seeing now is how codein naturally walks around, which I think for people to understand, it's almost like, oh, when I lived in California. When we live in California, exactly after I had Cass, we moved to California, Cass is about two. And it's important for women to know. And I'd say this because it's such a stressor for women after they have children.

But scientifically, your body hormonally does not level out to your baseline hormonal level, which is still a little wonky. But when you're pregnant, it's like all over the place. But the baseline for where you are normally does not hit until at least nine months postpartum, but for most people a year. Yeah. Yeah, so that whole year, that first year. Yeah, your body is not necessarily responding the way you wanted to, which makes sense why you felt

more invigorated in November after coming back from Jamaica. I did. I did because it was at that point a full year. Yeah. I noticed with me, for example, and every woman is different after having children, and I wait, my six weeks, I will then get into the gym, lose my weight and then somehow slowly start to regain it for whatever reason. And it could be with the breastfeeding and like you're eating a certain amount of calories to produce a certain

amount of milk. There's so many different variables that you're trying to like figure out, right. So once you do all of that and you're like, Okay, now I'm finally a year out. That's kind of where I am. I'm fifteen months out postpartum, so now I feel like my body is like, oh, I remember how we used to flex. Not to mention, I'm no longer on a birth control method, right,

So my mood. It has been completely different, and I've literally been trying to like monitor myself because I don't want to jump the gun and say like, oh, just because mentally I know that I'm off of some sort of birth control method that now things are naturally better. I think some of it is just my body naturally becoming what it's supposed to be, but also to me making the choice to say, you know what, I'm no longer going to just give into the lifestyle of oh,

I can do it tomorrow. Like, No, I'm getting in the gym today. Like am I going to wait for devots to get in the gym? No. I want to see the results, So I'm going to get into the gym. Oh, I need to eat this way when I'm on the road to help me maintain the results that I'm seeing. I'm going to make those necessary adjustments and changes. Our writer, whenever we go to venues or anywhere, has a specific list of things that we should have in our green room.

I literally just changed my writer to have protein shakes, protein bars, like just things that I know that will set me up for success. Codein is a me head now. Last night I heard Gadeen talk about something. Man, my appetition change. I gotta go get me a protein shape. I'll get by protein. She's like CoDeeN is officially a me. You know how much of a meat heat? I am? Not only am I drinking like protein shakes, right, So trying to find the best ones that don't have a

lot of junk in it. But I also learned that the best source of protein that's like the most like just basic without any frills, nothing else in it is egg whites. Yeah. So I've been getting like cartons of egg whites. Oh my gosh. And now pour me a cup of it. And I found this this uh, this additive that you put in it. It's just a little something to give it a little bit of flavor. Yeah, it's the tiva. That's the tiva. That's weird. Yeah st stevia, Look at you careful now, that's ef um stevia. But

it's a flavored one. It's like a caramel talfie flavor. Put a couple of drops in that. Down me a cup of egg whites, Like, okay, that's my meal. That's that's my shake for the day. This is what she's on right now. And and here's the truth. I had to kind of understand, like, why would somebody say they could then get a b BO Like y'all know how much we work out. Y'all know what candeeds to look like.

But I had to think about it. In twenty twenty one, when we first moved here, we got a huge jump because we had posted that we got a new house. I'm looking at how many followers I had. I had one point six million followers in twenty twenty one. It's now twenty twenty three. I have two million, which means that's four hundred thousand new followers who've only seen you pregnant true and then postpartum for the last two years, right, so their idea of who you are is this bigger

version because you were pregnant in a postpartum. That's actually a really good point. So now, so that's four hundred thousand people. So now it comes to February twenty twenty three and Codein is snatched and they're just like, Yo, when did this happen? But it's like if you if you go back before that and see what Kadein looked like, because I've also you know, you get reminders and recently, because remember we moved into this house. Well, I moved

into this house February thirteen, twenty twenty one. You had moved us in here a couple of days, but prior, but we just passed that February thirteenth moment, February thirteenth and February eleventh to thirteenth, I would still filming. Remember, used to set up your phone and take pictures and they came up in my phone as your memories, and you were just looking good. You was so slim in those photos. And I was just like, yo, this this is what Kadan looked like when we moved in here.

And it's like two years later, you're back to that, right, And it's just like people haven't seen you like that. The introduced people to us who came recently. I aren't used to seeing you set me up, y'all. He knew how fine I was looking when I was sending him the pictures in the house, but he was filming and he came home, but it was both of us. He came home to the blue Light special that I created for exactly exactly, and he was just like, yeah, Badi Yadi,

Yadi yadi, Yeah it was babyes. I will say this, I will give you, guys a couple of hits, as you guys know, in another life, well not in a life. In an earlier part of this life, I was also a trainer. I studied exercise physiology and kinesiology. I have my certificates in National Academy of Sports Medicine which is also known as NASOM. So when it comes to training, Codein literally lives with a trainer, a certified educated trainer,

so I know how to do this right. One thing I adapted to Codeine's change in how she's getting her work done is we're no longer saying we're going to go to the gym three times a week and work out ninety minutes. Yes, I was to lose me. Yes, Cadan's like ninety minutes in the gym. Hell no, it's always I'll go tomorrow. I'll go tomorrow till tomorrow never comes. Right. This is the biggest change. And write this down. Codeine and I work out every day for a minimum of

fifteen minutes. And when I say work out, I mean yeah, yours, yours is twenty. Yours is twenty minimum because you like to do more cardio, because you Codeine is still in a place where she wants to lose more weight in her face, so she likes to do cardio and walk in her arms because she's still trying to lose weight. I'm not trying to lose weight. So when I say workout, working out to us is getting on a treadmill and

doing a high in client walk for twenty minutes. You can change your life drastically if you implement movement every single day for at least fifteen to twenty minutes. And when I say movement consistently, when I say movement, that walk isn't a straight like stroll walk. It is a high intensity any client walk, right, So what is a workout? But it's only for twenty minutes? Because some people have their little Apple watch on their fit but they're like, I got my steps in today and I think that

they actually did a workout. That's not really no workout. You have to get your steps in and still do a high intensity workout just to make sure that you're burning the calories and keeping your body active when you're really not active. So this is our workout plan. Monday, we go to the gym. We only go to the gym for forty five minutes. On those mondays we go to the gym, it's all heavyweight lower body days. Becaudean is doing. I love deadlifts, squads, lunges, single leg push downs,

adductor abducts. I'm talking about a series of exercises and heavyweight to help build her glutes, her hamstrings, in her calves, which is why everyone thinks that codein get a BBL. Yeah, her butt is on her back because on Monday we're doing all those heavy workouts. On Wednesday, I've always naturally just had bigger legs and always been developed. I think

that has a lot to do with genetics as well. Yeah, but then on Wednesday we'll go back to the gym and now we'll do leg curl leg extensions, single leg pushdowns, squat jumps. So Wednesday it's another heavy leg day. Friday, we'll go back to the gym again and now she's doing sets of twenty. It's a lighter head day, but it's a high volume day. So we're attacking that core

group three times during the week. And on Tuesday and Thursday she's downstairs in the gym twenty minutes doing her high inclined walk, or she'll do sprints sprints has definitely changed the way her lower body look, but also her mid section. Let me tell you guys something, when it comes to training, people say to me all the time, devout, how you gaining weight? Still have a six pack? I do sprints. I do not get on that treadmill and be on that treadmill for sixty minutes. You can ask

the podcast group when they come here. I will put that treadmill on the highest thing with the highest speed is twelve miles per hour. I'll put that incline on a six point zero and I'll let the treadmill run. I'll jump on the treadmill. I'll sprint for ten seconds, I'll jump off, I'll do five hand cleans. I'll do that round for ten minutes straight, which means I'll end up getting ten sprints in and I end up doing ten sets of five hand clean which will put me

at fifty hand cleans. As soon as I get done, I'll get off there and I'll do a thousand jump ropes. I'll do sets of one hundred jump ropes as fast as I can. Sprints and doing explosive movements is the quickest way to get rid of your mid section. It is not running on the treadmill like you're training for

a marathon. But people make that mistake. Yep. When you train like that and you get on the treadmill for an hour every single day, first thing is you are guaranteed to hurt yourself because when you run like that for a long periods of time and you don't give yourself enough time to rest, you're ultimately breaking down the muscle you're trying to build. And when you get hurt, you can't train, and when you can't train, your body

starts to gain weight setback. For sure, I've been able to reduce the amount of time I get injured by doing a lot more sprints than doing a lot more long term long distance running, and coupling that with a lot more weight training in I put Kadeen on the same regiment and there's not a day that goes by. We do that Monday through Friday. Saturday is Sunday. I told Kadeen, Yo, Saturday and Sunday, I don't want you to do nothing. I want you to rest. I go downstairs.

Kadeen is on the treadmill doing high and klow walks. In twenty minutes, I say y'all. I thought I told you to rest, and I'm like, I thought you said I should be doing twenty minutes of something every day. This is not the same one. But not the same one, am I like, I just have no I don't I don't know, I don't know. I think it's also to me having something to prove to myself, to get myself

into the best shape of my life. I think part of it is me turning for you, because you know, I feel like within milestone birthday, it's like, oh my god, I'm about to embark on a whole other decade. But also too just being tired of feeling like I've just been mediocre in general with just my physical being my body. I just feel like I've just always been kind of coasting skating by never really pushing myself to see what

I could look and feel like at my best. So I'm gonna be with you shooting in the gym, but I gotta know the plan, Like, don't bring me to the gym blindly, and I need to know my workout ahead of time. I could wrap my mind around it, because every day is a struggle. And I think that's when Triple asked the biggest challenge for me with maintaining the fitness, it's just consistency and carving out time to do it, particularly when we travel. So traveling is hard.

Like we had a rough past three weeks with the book tour and the live shows and stuff. So trying to set myself up for success when I'm traveling has been something that I have to actually coordinate. Like I walked with my little blender. I walk with my my ag one greens. I walk with my with my seed, my probiotic and jump rope. The jump rope is something easy to put in the bag, and it's something if you're in a hotel room and it's just like man, I can't get to the gym or they don't have

a good enough gym. I can just do twenty minutes of jump rope. Something well, I gotta tell the story. We went to Houston and Dallas to go look at venues for the podcasts and K gets an Airbnb. I'm like, why don't we just stay in their hotel? Like I need an Airbnb. I'm like, whiting Airbnb. This is the new wife that I have. I need a washer and dry or wash my workout clothes and I need a place to jump rope. You're choosing where we stay around how you're gonna work out. That has never in my

life been what my reality has been. I kid you not. This woman chose to stay in the airbnb so that she can have Washington Drive for her workout clothes and the space to jump rope. I was like, I don't know who you are about. I love you because he doesn't feel like the only lunatic in the house. I don't because you know me, I'll get my jump broke in a minute and I'll jump rope in the hotel. But then my clothes be stink because I work out and I got my stink clothes in the bag. But

I know Condena is a hotel snob. She only likes to say certain places, and I want her to have enjoy herself. So I'm like, fine, I'll just deal with the stink close in my bag. But now it's like everything is revolving, and that's why people say like it's a life. It really being in shape and being fit is a lifestyle. Nutrition too. My question to you is how, because we've already discussed this, what would be your advice to women who don't enjoy working out because you don't.

You don't you still to you still you don't like it. What would be your advice to women on how to get to the point you are now after dealing with everything you've belt with over the past ten years, especially having children. Understand that changes your outlook on your body and your life. But yeah, what would be your main thing how you got to the this point? Well, it's twofold. One thing. I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired of not being in a space physically

that I wanted to be. So it was a big mental shift for me to just say to myself to talk myself into it, like Kadin, like enough is enough, Like you have to really take control. But also too, just finding the things that work for you is necessary. I feel like working out fitness, the lifestyle of it is not an all encompassing thing. There are different things that work for different people and you have to learn

your body. So for me, I realized that I love weightlifting, That's my thing, right, So if weightlifting is my thing and that's something I actually enjoy when I'm in the gym versus going on the treadmill for thirty to forty to fifty minutes. It's finding a way to design a workout that's deliberate about the areas that I'm working on, but can be highly impactful in a short amount of time.

So Devout has helped me create a program where I'm like, okay, if I want to if I like to lift weights instead of jumping rope with the rope like when we're home, how about you use the bar and do push Jack's. So that way, I'm using a weight and I'm jumping, so it's a similar motion, but I'm working out the body parts that needs to be worked out, and it's a bit more enjoyable because it's something that I enjoy to do when I'm in the gym. Learn what works

for you. There's never like something. If everyone has their thing. That's a piece of advice that I can give to women. Also to carving out the time for yourself. People love to throw around its self care, self care, self care, but how exactly are you showing up for yourself? And that's important to me. I realized that my mood, my mental clarity, the way I approach life and things outside of working out, just my family, my work. When I get a good workout in and I feel like I've

invested in myself. I'm able to then output so much more and that has definitely helped me as well. So I think if you put all those things together, find ways to carver out those times for yourself, that's a great place to at least start. You know, you're not gonna be a meathead, you know, but you can at least develop some sort of system. It's like you have to schedule it in a lot of times, it's like I don't have the time for it. You have time

for a lot of stuff. Think about the aimless scrolling that we do for thirty minutes. That's thirty minutes you could have been doing something and now absolutely endlessly scroll in between my workout. You know, absolutely, I have to. I think it's important to note because I know people will say this, and I've seen comments like this, Well, it's easy for the Coneian get in shape now because she's rich. You know, she got a gym at home, she can eat whatever she wants, she doesn't have to

work full time. Like it's easy. It don't. Because if you look at Caneian's Instagram between two thou and sixteen to Now, we were not rich. When we were living in the apartment. We were barely making ends meet. We were working out asses off to every month make sure that the bills are paid on time. But we still find ways to work out and could. He was in great shape going into a thirty thirtieth birthday in twenty and fourteen. Yeah, Kadin was working full time. Shed we

already already had one child. Going into twenty seventeen, when she got back in shape and got pregnant again, we had two children. Kadein was working, I was working. We were in the apartment yet so and I say that to say this, the excuses you make will be your own downfall. When you look at someone get in shape and you say, how do they do that? Don't make excuses to why you can't because of things they have. Start to make a plan of how you can get

in it because the things you have. For example, I remember when I was working at the gym, Kdein at that point would be like, yo, I don't like going to the gym, but I know I got to pick my husband up from the gym. When I'm there, I'm gonna do my twenty minutes. And at this point Kadean wasn't as big on weightlifting because Codein was big on them. I don't want to like a football player type body, and it took me a while to convince her that

that was gonna happen. So she used to cycle. And that goes back to your you should do spin classes. And it makes me realize that you always have a way of getting back in shape when you need to. You find the thing that you like doing and you make your whole workout around that. So I would tell young ladies or even young men who want to get in shape, she is telling the truth. If you don't like weightlifting and you like running, run, make a game

out of it and do it consistently. If you don't like running and you want to ride bikes, spin classes. If you don't like spin class and you want to do hit workouts, you can join a cross fit class, or you can And this is what one thing I will say, hire a professional to help professional to help you make a plan that has some sort of longevity. People always ask me, man, what's the point of training

when you can work out on your own. Trainers because of the science teach you how to work out efficiently. That's it so that you're not just working, because there's a difference between progress and movement. Right, progress you're working purposefully to move forward. Right, you can run in place

all day and not get anywhere. And also too, you have to realize everybody's body is different and responds differently, So going to classes sometimes are not expected for certain people because everybody is not losing weight the same way. Like you said, also to all movement is just not

good movements. Yeah, because we've we've known people to our trainers and seeing people who have done things where it's just like people going there, they get a sweat, but their body looks the same same, right, And it may be because the nutrition is not on point, because that's a whole other thing. You have to make sure the nutrition is on point. But are you not doing deliberate

exercises to target the places that you want? So if you're saying you want to build a butt, you want to snatch a waist, you want to build some leg muscles, you know, some things are naturally genetic in body shapes are different. But also too, if you're not working on those specific body parts and those specific muscle groups, you're not going to see the gains in those areas or the losses, if that's what you're looking for, and also if you're a young man who your significant others getting

in shape. The hardest part to what cadein early on was getting her through those first two weeks of the intense soreness. She will tell you when she started working out crazy with them heavy weights. Was I not giving you massages? I was giving And I'm not talking about the massages I like to give, you know, I like to give massage engine And I'm gonna start rubbing places

and then no, I'm talking about cadein. Get your ass in the cold tub, like literal, actual tears in the cold tub, and I'm putting in the cold toub for ten minutes, and I'm like, I'm gonna sit here with you and you're gonna do this. And then once you get out the cold tub, sit on that bed. Let me get that oil. And I'm with my forearm rubbing that it band, rubbing them quads, them cash. She's crying.

I'm rubbing that lower back, her sides or her obliques from doing all of this ad work, and she's in pain, and I'm like, listen to me, babe, just do this for two to three weeks and let your body get used to that pain and that feeling, and after a while it was just like I don't feel that sore anymore. You're also know two that two weeks is like you're working out so intense and nothing's happening. Yes, nothing is happening. I'm literally after each workout in the mirror like, see

you see anything different? You know there's anything different. There's a better fact. I'm literally in the mirror like every day after that. But I think it takes like a good like two weeks for your body to kind of be like, oh, okay, you're trying to do a little something, but there's a science to that. Then by four weeks you're like, oh okay, I'm starting to see something and there's an exact science to that. The first two weeks is you're teaching your body to be in shape to train.

The first two weeks you don't even really do anything to change your body except get in shape. Lost half the people it's the truth, because people expect to see something after the first workout and second workout. The first workout, you're not even really going hard enough to see change. You only realistically start to see change after week three, four or five. If you continue working out at an

intense pace and you continue to change the workouts. Yeah, what happens in the first three weeks are people you usually quit because it's a shot to your body. You get sore, you hurt, your chest hurts, and you're like, I can't do this, I'm done, So you quit before you actually saw any real results. By the three to four week moment, that's when your heart is strong enough to deal with intense workouts. That's when your length, your legs are strong enough to see I can push a

little harder. And then from that moment you start to do some real intense shit that really gets your body changing, and the ship falls it literally the first three to four weeks, it's like it's nothing happening, nothing happening, intense, intense, intense. Now was falling off brou and add two more weeks onto that first two weeks. Yeah, you didn't have a baby, Yeah, because your pelvit floor and your abdomen talk about it

literally feels like putty. Like I remember having to be in like a like a waste train or filet situation after the baby because my organs felt like they were like gonna fall out. Yeah, the doctor says, you had this what is it, that stasis RECTI pronouncing it right, but yeah, it's where the muscles literally separate in your abdomen. And I was very, very deliberate throughout all four pregnancies

of doing transverse abdominal muscle exercises. That was just even while pregnant, squeezing my core and doing like ten to twenty a day, like if I would remember, I would just do it or still trying to just like keep my core intact because if people used to laugh that I'd still had two ab muscles at the top of my stomach even while I was like eight that months pregnant.

But I'm hoping that that's what kind of helped to hoping I can tell you're my stomach again, because a lot of women can't recover from that, like they'll have to get a tummy tuck to have their ab muscles stitched back together. I can tell you that that is definitely the reason that why you've been able to bounce back every single time, because your muscles are your muscles can atrophy after a while of not using a muscle.

It dies, so imagine you find out that you're pregnant, and you're like, okay, first trimester, I'm not gonna do any workout's want to make sure I get through the first trimester. Then the second trimester, you start to feel better, but your stomach is growing and you're kind of like, hey, I'm not in the mood to work out. I'mant I'll start working out after i'm done. Then the third trimester, your stomach really grows. Now you spent six months of

not using your abdominal muscles at all. Now the baby is growing and your abdominant wall is starting to stretch. There's no muscle fiber there to keep it tight and keep it together. The reason why this isn't good too, is because working out during your pregnancy helps you with labor. Your ability to contract and squeeze and push through comes from your abdominal cavity and that trans transverse abdominal movement.

So when you work out throughout the pregnancy, it allows you to squeeze through, which is also why Codeine has also had really good deliveries because she's worked out the entire pregnancy. But imagine for nine months you don't do any of those things, and you just let your abdominal wall pretty much decay because as the muscles atrophy, it just sits and nothing happens. They go away. Then you have the breast. You don't feel like working out. You

had another three to six months. Now you're going on almost two years of not using them, of dominant walls, and the first time you go work out, you're like, let me do some sit ups. You go to sit up, you can't move. We've watched it. I've cried through coming back after every baby. Yes, for that particular reason. You do a jumping jacket, piss yourself like you're a whole bladder, and everything is just weak. Everything is weak. And I get it, and I get it, but it gets better.

Sis to my postpartum moms that are listening, don't put a time frame on it. Now. Whenever you're good and ready to feel like getting up and moving again, you get up and move again. I told him how to go to hell several times last year because I said, you have not carried about one baby up in here. Okay, so what you're not about to do is tell me what I need to be doing. But eventually it clicks for me. I felt like I needed to get back to a space where I could fit into my clothes again.

I have a closet full of closed child that I have not warned some of these things in ages because there's a hope. Okay, there's a hope and a desire to get back into certain things. And I feel like now is the time. Now, it's if not now, then when. And I'm I'm loving it lifestyle more than more than I'm loving the booty. I'm loving the outlook. Yeah, because

we both had health scares no one. That I have a partner that's invested in a long term health plan, yes, and wellness plan means a lot because I can look over to my left and be like, she, she's gonna be all right, We're gonna be here together. So that that makes me feel good. I mean, you got to control what you can control, right, And I feel like there's certain things that you don't have control over. Yeah. Um, God forbid, you can walk outside and get hit by lightning,

you know. Um. But if health is the one thing that we have to take control of, especially after having preclampsia and that being a possible indicator for me having high blood pressure later on, I'm trying to negate all that now, and I'm trying to be proactive rather than reactive. All right, y'all, so we can dispel the myths, so we can dispel the rumors. Kidding his night, how to b b all, y'all. I'm just over here living in my Jamaican goodness and just trying to keep it up.

I just want to keep my asks up by my shoulders and not by my ankles by age. As I age, I'm trying to be Betty and Benjamin by n y'all. Okay, that's what we're trying to do. We're trying to find the found to do your fount of view. But what we did find is some listener letters, all y'all. I found those for sure. So we're gonna take a quick break. We're gonna listen to get into some ads. And I heard Photo crying around the corner. We're gonna check on him too. We'll be back. We'll be back for sure.

All right, and we're back. You want to go first, Darling, or shall I? Yeah, I'll read first, because you've been going first the last couple of weeks. All right. Number one, Hey, Codeine and de Valle, I hope y'all both are doing amazing. We are thank you so much, and the family as well. The family is great. We hope the same for you. My name is Shay and I've been dating a guy

for two years. We have really, really good times, and from time to time my arguments come from nowhere and are really bad, bad to a point where if he doesn't get his way, he threatens to kill himself. That's not healthy. My relationship before him was really abusive, so I now catch myself walking on pins and needles. That's not good. He blames his childhood and his past on how he navigates life, including our relationship, and now I am in a space where I no longer feel safe

emotionally or mentally. I don't want to change him as a man. I want him to do that himself, but now I am at odds on staying or leaving. When we do have a disagreement, intense to put all of the blame on me, and when I shut down, I get bashed for being closed off and distant because now I no longer feel open enough to share anything with him, including how I'm feeling and my thoughts as a whole. He continues to make plans for the future, but at this moment, I am not seeing anything with him in

the future until he can get it together. At times, I catch myself blaming myself as well, and now I am completely numb to not just him, but everyone outside of my kids, who have never witnessed any of our disagreements, thank god, but they love him to pieces, and I am really stuck on what to do than that sucks. When I did decide to cut him loose, he popped up at my house and I instantly was taken back to when I was getting abuse all over again. He didn't hit me. All he did was cry and begged

for us to work through it. But I really don't know if I can any guidance for a thirty two year old that is literally lost. Check this out. Abuse comes in all forms. Just because someone doesn't hit you

doesn't mean they're not abusing you. Abuse can also come in the form of manipulation, yes, and I'm not saying that he's using this as a way to manipulate you, but saying things like I'm going to kill myself and begging to take me back and all of these things is abusive to someone who's already been through an abusive relationship because that's triggering for you. And what I think you should do is be open and honest with him about how you feel and what you need to feel

safe in this relationship. If he is not willing to work on those things to make you feel safe emotionally and both physically, I do think it's okay for you to move on. And what happens to him at this point is not on you. You know, you have one inaliable right and not to survive by any means necessary and have fun doing it. But you also have a right to protect your children. And what you don't want

is to find yourself. Yes, you don't want to find yourself in a position where you cannot protect your children, not from harm, but from seeing something or seeing someone harm theirself, him to harm themselves. Talk to him, but make it clear what you need and what you want, and if he's not able to provide that, babe, it is okay to do what to do what's best for your mental health, your safety, and your children's safety. That was very well said, touching a lot of things that

I was touching on, so we won't get redundant. Girl. Good luck to you definitely hope. So you hope that you guys are able to figure things out together that makes sense for you, Yeah for sure. All right, Hey guys, let me start by saying, I love you guys on your perspective on millennial love. Thank you for all you do. Thank you. Now. I am newly single, but have been in a terrible cycle of fuck boys. I'm thirty three years old, to very good care of myself, work, no kids,

have everything on my own. I say that to say I'm looking for a partnership long term. I'm not a city girl. I love the thought of everlasting love. I don't need a sponsor or consistent dick. I believe I attract the same exact type of guy. I've been in three long term relationships, starting at sixteen, one for eight years, next for two years, and the last for six years. I try to have the heavy conversations about kids, marriage and building together very early on, but still end up

in the same results. What tips can you provide about dating in the future? It is it the places that I go to? Is it the expectations? Anything helps? At this point, Uh, he's bubbling over over here because because she's attracting boys, is that just what it is. Okay, So here's my thing, right, You attract what you put out. It's number one. Number two, you also have to use discernment on who you're going to give your time. If you keep dating the same type of guy, that's a

u problem. That's not the guy's problem. You're not using your past experiences to make better choices. You're just repeating the same behavior. And that's not saying you're a bad person. But at some point you have to realize if I keep dating the same guy over and over again, it's not them, it's me. If you realize that this is the same guy avoiding because you can attract this, but

you don't have to sit in it exactly. You know what I'm saying, Like it can be coming your way and you'd be like, ah, love red flags nowadays, right, Oh, I see a red flag popping up this time for

me to make my exit for sure. But you also too, like she said, at least she's it seems like you're deliberate about having the conversations early on, and I'm hoping that in having those conversations and continue to be deliberate about what you want and what you are looking for will also help to bring the right kind of guy along, because what you don't want to do is end up in these quote unquote because she put put the long term in quotes. Yeah, these long term quote unquote relationships

that are really going nowhere? Because is he wanting the same thing? Right? What exactly are you looking for and what are you presenting? And she seems to present someone who's, like she says, has been taking care of herself, doing her thing, working and all that. But what exactly are you putting out there that you're bringing this back? This is what I have a question for. Right, women off to say, I attract fuck boys? Right? Do you like

fuck boys? Because if you keep entertaining and dealing with fuck boys, it's like, is that what you're chasing? You know what I'm saying, is that what you're chasing? Because it's the same thing my homeboys? Right? So many of the young kids that I'm doing and fuck these bitches, they always want one thing. They'd be doing the same thing. I said, Bro, you date the same girl? Oh some of them even look exactly the fucking same. Bro, Like at something and don't hit me with all women are

the same. They are not all the women you date are the same, And I asked, I asked them, these are my homies. Are you attracted to that? And then find yourself turned off when you have to deal with the issues that come with that. For example, one of my homeboys owned I don't call them gold diggers because I don't think they're gold diggers. I think there are a certain type of women who know that, Hey, I'm gorgeous, I'm gonna marry well, and I'm going to marry a

certain caliber man. And if you can't provide these things for me financially, I'm going to use you until I find someone else who can do better. There are some women who are just like they don't they don't care about anything else but that that's the woman that he always go after. And when I tell you, it's like carbon copy after carbon they even dressed the same, if they follow each other on Instagram that it's like, bro, they go to the same places. They some of them

even went to the same high school. Like, dude, how do you manage to find it? And it's just like that, you know why I look at it? And that's what I'm like, that's the point because draft class, when yeah, class. When you see that woman, that's what is attracting to you. But you go into that person and say, I'm going to change that person and make that person what I want them to be, as opposed to saying I know

that attracts me, but it's unhealthy for me. How about the people that attract the fun boys and fun girls, because this girls who's fun girls too, you attract that, that's what you're into. Is problematic. Then you find somebody who treats you so oh well, so well, and then you try to pick apart everything that's wrong with this person because they're not the usual or typical fuck boy and fun girl that you deal with. It's because, to me,

relationships are like picking a meal. Right. You know, you need your vegetables, but you want to eat all the wrong shit all the time because it just takes better. Right you you know, you're like, man, I should get some keen while some brown rice, you know what I'm saying, and some grilled chicken. But nope, I'm gonna eat this fried chicken. I'm gonna get me some collar greens, drizzles and syrup and honey, I'm gonna add this cheesecake on top.

Of it. I'm a drink of sweet and it feel good in the moment, but then and that's that's just because it looks like it's something you want doesn't mean that it's good for you. And you have to start listening to yourself and saying to yourself. If I'm only attracting fun boys, if I keep dating fuck boys, I'm attracted to the dessert. I need the vegetables because the vegetables, the vegetables will give you longevity. Now, if you happen to be somebody like me, I find vegetables that are healthy.

You like my candy ams, you know what I'm saying, Because the yam is a vegetable, so it's good for me. But it's sweet, you know what I'm saying. It's sweet, so it's good for me, and it tastes good. And if I don't like his food touching, no, how so you don't have his vegetables over here. Meanwhile I'm over here like no, I'm about the bite. I need to have the coligreens, snack and cheese, the the yam, the you go. You took my analogy in a different direction.

That wasn't where I was going. But what I will say, is that start understanding what's good for you and not what you think is going to be a good time. If you start to realize what's good for you, you'll start to date in that vein as opposed to being like this will be fun and then getting your heartbroken. And that's for men and women, because it ain't just fun boys. It's also fun girls. But you have to be responsible for your own moment, all right, And that's

that's only everybody. One thing I don't envy is y'all in the dating pool for sure, for sure. All Right, y'all, thank you for writing in. We always love to hear from you. If you want to be featured as one of our listener letters on a future show, be shut to email us at Dada's advice at gmail dot com. That's d E A D A d V. I know I'm better advice. I'm ungry too. That's d E A d A S S A d V I c E at gmail dot com. All right, moment of truth time. So we're talking and Bodi yadi yadi yadi yadi ya

d my body, um some moment of truth. The truth is Katina not get to be b l y'all. I could put my hand on the Bible yea um. But I think my moment of truth in all of this is um, no one is going to do for you like you. So at some point you have to realize that you are in control ultimately of all things for the most part when it comes to your life, aside

for stuff that's not within your control. And if one thing I can do to control being more productive as a mom, as a wife, as a person as cadeine, if that means it's working out, if it's taking my nutrition under my belt and under control, taking that time for me to love on me, it's necessary, and I'm going to make the provisions to do that because I ain't getting any younger, y'all. I ain't getting any younger, and after a while, stuff is going to catch up.

And we also can't keep talking about the things that run in our family, these ailments and these diseases that become chronic when we can be preventative rather than reactive.

So I'm in a space where I'm really trying to buckle down on that, and I thank you, sir, for helping me do that, and for being my support and my motivation and my drill sergeant on days when I don't want to hear it, but I need to hear it, but also knowing when to kind of back off and just say, you know what, she's still figuring it out, so I appreciate that. Love you Love you too, baby. My moment of truth is I'm proud of you, um, you're killing it? You proud of me? Or you want

a proud of me? Proud of me? Oh my god, Alicia, somehow she always get a gift, y'all. I don't know what it is. Proud of me. I'm proud of you. Create a gift when I can get moment without buying something ahead. Goal weight, like you know, there's a push present a goal weight. What's your goal weight? What's your goal weight? Right now? I like the way my body's transformed. I weigh about about a buck sixty now once fifty

seven eight. When I get up in the morning on an empty stomach, after I pee, take my clothes off, I think, if I were to get down, if I'm to put a number on it. I don't really like to put a number on I just kind of go based off of vibes and how I feel and how my close fits, but I've always been comfortable historically at one fifty. If I get to that range another twelve pounds. Yeah, it's in my arms, it's in my face, like best places that I feel like I can tighten up. So

that's where I'm actively working on. I will say this about the weight, I don't think you'll ever be that small again because you've been doing so much heavy lifting and muscle weights more than fat as thick as your legs have gotten from all. This is the longest you've done heavy with lifting since we were doing Married to the gym in two thousand and twelve. Yeah, so I think you, to be honest, I think you could be down to one fifty and lose everything you want in

your face and your arms. But the way you're building your legs, Like my waist is down to where I was in college, but I'm two hundred pounds because I've been building muscle the way you've been building muscle here. I don't think it's possible, but I do roll arms. Have you seen her arms lately between her and Angela Bassett? Yes, so they are aren't in Michelle Obama. They arm goals goals, but um, it's funny how I was giving my moment

of truth and now you just took it over. But the whole episode has been honoring you because you you actually did a good job, and I was gonna get to my moment of truth real quick. A banging body is the byproduct of healthy living. That's just what it is. Um, you want your girl, your wife, your baby mother to look as good as you want to create a safe, healthy space to her to live stress free. I think

that helps a lot. I'll try to make sure that you're stress free, make sure you have time, make sure you eat right, make sure you sleep, sleep, you drink water, and find whatever workout plan works for you consistently. There's no one way the skinny cat. There's thousands of ways to skinny cat. And I think that as a man, that's yeah. Well, I mean your your cat is skinned.

He can sell it all my business on good day, I like the ball baby, shiny shiny ballaby like like, Okay, lazy Harrible has been good to us, Yes, but um, that is my moment of truth. I love this woman, and you can be sure to find us on Patreo to see exclusive dead Ass podcast video. I wanted to do it because you you did all the heavy lifting today, no pun intending when it came to the episode, so

it's all good. Be sure to find us on Patreon and see exclusive Deadass podcast video content, and to find us on social media at dead as to podcasts, I'm Cadeen, I am and I am Devout, and if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, be sure to rate, review, subscribe, scribe, dead Ass, y'all, Badass, y'all, very much alive, Ass, y'all. Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network and

it is produced by the Norapinia and Triple. Follow the podcast on social media at dead Ass to podcasts and never miss a Thing,