Black Health Is Wealth with Dr. Kelvin Brown

about through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead adds is the term that we say every day. So when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts, the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Were about to take pillows off to a whole new level. Dead ass starts right now. So this story time is not a funny story time. This is a very real story time. This has happened last year. Um, literally right before my birthday. My brother calls me on the phone randomly and goes,

Yodeve was suck. I'm like, what's good? He says, Um, you'll call your pops. I'm like, Wow, what's the matter. He's like now, he don't look good, and you know he don't listen to nobody, but just just call him. So historically, my Pops is not like going to the doctor. He has no patience. He feels like he can heal himself with everything. He really believer in Jesus and what Jesus has in story for him and God and all of that. So my father feels like he has his

life under control. Plus I also know that my father has fear of hospitals and doctors. So I called my pop. In two years prior to this, remember, my brother and I had to take him to the hospital all right before Thanksgiving because he was having chest pain. And I call my pops and my father. If y'all know my father, he's what a broke? How are you doing? You know? You know he's a very jolly man like he So when I get on the phone and I'm looking at him,

his face was extremely drawn. My father is over three fifty pounds, so when you see a three fifty pound man with a drawn face, automatically something is like not right. Like he his face to look full. He looked dry, kind of grayish. I remember, like underneath his neck here was like hanging like real looking, real sick. So I'm like, hey, school, what's up. Bro? You know what I'm saying. I'm not trying to tip him off that my brother told me to call. So he's just like, I'm good, Bro, I'm good.

And he's trying to smile because I know my pops trying to smile because I'm always on my parents about health, not just my father, but my mother too. Like I'm like, y'all, y'all owe us to be here, Like y'all, y'all owe us, you owe your grandkids to be here. So I look at my dad, I said, how you feel? And he's just like, oh, you know, I had a toothache. I was taking some medication, so my mouth is my my mouth is kind of drying. I kept using the bathroom

and it's it's the medication, bro, it's the medication. So I stopped taking the medication. So I look at my pops. Already know he's in his Dina phase. So I said, can you give mommy the phone please? I don't even I don't want to talk no more. I already recognize what it is. So my mom is on the phone. And was was like, hey, the vale And I'm like, you know what that is. And she's just like, yeah, we're supposed to go to doctor on Wednesday. I said, monus

the diabetes. I said, his mouth is dry, he's going to the bathroom every fifteen minutes. He looks drawn. That's that's like the sugar. That's the sugar. That's the sugar. And she was just like, we know, you know the valt you know she's trying to pass the fire me now. And we got it. I said, my take him to the hospital, take him to the doctor tomorrow, tomorrow, or I'm coming home and I'm taking him to the doctor

because we're not gonna wait till Wednesday. At this point, it was Sunday, and she was just like val relaxed. I said, I'm not going to relax. Take him to the doctor tomorrow or I'm coming home. Fine, Fine, Fine, So she got my father to agree to go to the doctor. They go to the doctor in the next day, They check his level, they check everything. They tell my mom you need to admit your husband to the hospital.

And she's like why, And I believe at that point his blood sugar level was like sev hundred it was. It was so bad that there was like, the machine won't go as high as your blood sugar is, and you have to go to the hospital so we can find out what your actual blood sugar is. But the fact that the machine won't calculate it means that you're a walking coma right now. His A one C was ridiculous. It was more than twice the level of a diabetes patient.

I think for diabetes it's seven. It was seven or seven point five, and I think he was above fourteen at this point. And then when once he goes to doctor and they admit him, you know, he has all these questions and stuff, then all the truth comes out. My father says to me, yeah, I had my my sugar taken in October and they said it was it was it was seven point five then, so you was pre diabetic. But you were pre diabetic and still drinking soda and still eating cakes and still eating rice and

still putting gravy on everything. So he goes to the doctor. The doctor tells my father that he's diabetic. Um, he has to be on insulin, but there are ways for him to kind of reduce um the symptoms of diabetes. If he changes his diet if he walks every day.

Things that I've been telling him for years before we get to this point, Sokenina and I fly into New York because I'm I don't play when it comes to my parents, like I'm gonna come see you, I'm gonna I have to physically touch you to know that you're okay. So I get there and this is the first time ever in my life. My father is upstairs in the room. He says he's feeling better. So it's just me and him,

kick everybody out the room. I said, bro why, why when you go through health stuff you don't say anything to anybody? And he broke down, started crying to me and said he didn't want me to be mad at him, because he's been telling me for a decade, Like I've been telling him for a decade that he has to eat healthier or we're gonna get to this point. So he broke down and started crying and then started telling

me all the things the doctor. But he said to me for the first time ever that he was scared. He looked up. He was not he was in on the gurney. He looked up and there was a mirror above him, and he said that he looked like my grandfather. And my grandfather passed away of c O p D in two thousand and eighteen two. He passed away from cp D. And I remember looking at my grandfather and remember we had to rush into the hospital one day and the E. M. S came and said, hey, do

you have any pre existing conditions? And my grandfather said, if you name it, I at it. And my father said he looked up and he saw his father. His face was drawn, he looked old, and he got scared. When I was having surgery for hernia nine years old, my father told me song seven, The Lord is my life, my salvation. Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life? Of whom shall I be afraid? I have a tattooed on my arm. And I've never been afraid of things because my father taught me not

to be afraid. To watch my father be afraid shook me. It shook me. This song that I'm gonna sing now is um dedicated to all of the black men, because talking about black men's health, who are making a decision to put their health first, and how powerful we can be as leaders of a community if we finally start putting ourselves for a thing about my dad is kind of getting me like, no, I know, your father be a superhero. You don't ever want to think about anything

happened to your pops. But ah. The song is dedicated to all of the men who are are putting their health first to be there for their families, their coworkers. Uh. I know Triple hates when I clap, so I'm gonna try not to clap. Okay home home, Hey, hey, hey, I'm living in the twenty one century. Doing something mean to it? Do it better than anybody you've ever seen do with screen from the haters. Got a nice ring to it. I guess every superhero needs this thing music.

No one man all that power, the clocks ticking. I just count the hour was stopped tripping and tripping off the power one century something something something. But um, that's just what it means. You take your power into your hands when you decide that you're gonna put your health first so you can be here for the people that matters. Your wives, your mom's, your daughters, your your brothers, your sons, your business partners, and for yourself. You know, so no

one man should have all that power. But I hope all of us get the power to finally sit down and say I want to be better so I can be here. That's a good place to break piece of bills and will come back the story of time and get into the meeting of our show with our special guest today. Oh man, that story time, It does it to me to all the time because I think about it. I've known your dad for almost twenty years now, and he's pretty much just like a second dad to me.

So that was a scary time, I think for all of us um and if it did nothing more than anything, it just really made us value more so checking on each other, making sure each other is okay, not taking for granted, not feeling well in a moment, thinking we can sleep things off. How many times have we had this story where someone told us such as such didn't feel well, they just went to take a nap, They went to sleep this off and then they did not

wake up. Are too many times. So today we wanted to bring in an expert, no one better than Dr Kelvin Brown, to chat with us more about particularly black men's health. The leading cause of death for black men is heart disease, which is a completely preventable condition. Black men's prostate cancer risk is seventy higher than white men, and black men between the ages of forty and fifty four die by stroke at a rate three times higher

than their white counterparts. So just being a black man in general predisposes you to so much already, not just genetically, but environmentally socially. It's not just genetics. I feel like, like I said in my sound bite, there's so many black men who I just absolutely love to the core, and I need to make sure that they're going to

be around for the long haul. And there's certain things that we can we're not in control of, but if we can take control of our health, I feel like we should start now right because we're trying to do this together. Um Systemic racism in medical care goes both ways, but with an added layer of pride of masculinity. Black men suffer far worse than any other racial group with this in America. So we're gonna talk today and then

go through the facts with Dr Kelvin Brown. He's a surgeon, author, bariatric specialist, serial entrepreneur, which we also had shows on Entrepreneur to entrepreneurship too, and public health expert who prized himself on talking or taking a holistic approach to health. All right, Dr Calvin Brown, you got quite the resume. How are you doing well? Thank you so much for

having me. I look forward to it, and this is something that's extremely important to us, especially considering you know what I just spoke about the story time my father about a year ago, was rushed to the hospital. Um, he found out at that point that he was diabetic. His A one C was through the roof. I think it was like seventeen. UM. His sugar was extremely high. Um, he was on the verge of of going into a coma,

a sugar coma. And he found out because my mom pretty much called me and said, hey, you know, my brother called me and said, you know, your dad's not feeling good. You need to call him. And in our house growing up, my father hated doctors. So my father is the type of person that would be like, if I just sleep and drink some water, I'll be fine. And um, I called my I called my pops this day. He didn't sound good. I looked at him and his face was all drawn. I called my mom, I said, Mom,

what''s going on? Like, what's going on? And she was telling me that he wasn't feeling well. Then they rushed into the hospital, UH, and they found out that he was pretty diabetic and he had got to get it under control or else he wouldn't have made it through week. So that is like a microcosm of what black men's health is. You know, no you, I mean you said a books worth in that one example, UH is started

with codeine. What she said, we have the worst UH numbers when it comes to any group compared across racists and genders. So it's very relevant. But when you mentioned as far as not wanting to go to the doctor's men, that is so true. When I was actively doing surgery. One of the things I realized with regard to that if you find a guy in the emergency room at night, you better believe something wrong with guys. Guys will not

go to the hospital. And that also touches on something else though UM research has shown that if a guy is married, UH, they live longer and they present so much sooner to the doctor because that significant other spouse UH in that pers life. So you touched on that, and then you touched on diabetes. Not only do we have the worst numbers and the worst life expectancy speaking about black men, we also have the worst statistics with individual conditions, including diabetes UM. And that goes for how

blood pressure and all the other numbers. So in that one microcosm of an example, you said a mouthful mouthful that we could really speak on for let me let me ask a question when sorry, but when it comes to diabetes UM. Because Kadia and I have discussed this a lot, I feel like you can't like, diabetes isn't something that's so hereditary that it's like what my father had, it,

I have, I'm gonna have it. I feel like it's something that you can work around if you eat, probably if you diet, and if you focus on living a fairly healthy lifestyle. In my correct it's something that's not necessarily genetic, but more so hereditary because of the lifestyle

your fanis lives. No, you're absolutely right, and it's like the nature versus nurture And with all conditions, there's a small component of genetics that predisposes one to certain things, but it's the other things that a lot of people fail to realize, and it goes to goes towards the eating, it goes towards um rest and sleep, exercise. It also goes towards stress. And when we start talking about stress, we start talking about racism, discrimination, starts talking about the

economy and financials and so forth. So as you start talking about socio determinants and sociodemographic contributors to the condition, a lot of people think that health and naively think that health is related to just eating and fitness. And I like to equate this to sort of a mixer. This just imagine Dr Dre at the superpow right, just with that big mixer with all the different keys and

so forth. That's how our health is. There's a lot of components that we can adjust on a day to day basis, on a decision to decision basis that will affect our risk profile and if we ultimately develop certain conditions and so all that plays until factors for our social, financial, emotional, stress, nutrition,

and the list goes on its own. So one of the things that we can do that's very that's very noteworthy here is sort of shine the light on those things that people overlook on a day to day basis

that can impact one's help. So I guess if you were to deduce other than pride being one of the reasons why black men may not go to the doctor regularly or may feel a certain kind of way and not want to go UM, other than pride, have you desused any other reasons why men are not or black men specifically are not as proactive about their health care in general? Absolutely? UH. It sort of speaks to their

UH lifestyle, their quality of life. It speaks to their education level, because the education level determines what jobs they get. If they get a job, it also impacts their UH proclivity or or possibility of committing crimes and getting incarcerated, which also infects that UM. It determines if you have health insurance. It determines the quality. It determines the quality of health insurance. And then once you get insurance, it

also determines your availability to a certain provider. Now, once you do have access to all of those things, what type of provider do you have access to? And do you feel comfortable with that provider? And so it keeps going on and on and so it's a it's a cascading effect, and it's very comprehensive and a lot of people. Don't want to say a systemic, but it is based

on where you live. It also determines on the school's education, the jobs, and who you surround yourself wealth with from a social standpoint UM, and so it talks about that UH as well as the resources that you have, not only physical resources, but human resources, people who will speak certain things until you So it's a big movement, especially in our community and our culture with regard to financial literacy, and I'm I'm so happy to see it across social media.

But equally important, there's health literacy UH. And we need to do these two things hand in hand. And one of the things that I touched on, or that I really focused on maybe about twelve or fourteen years ago, was making sure that we don't achieve the success that perhaps I have, that you all have and so many others are getting through financial literacy, but we we then reach a point where we can become even more impactful

for even longer periods of time. And one of the things that the pandemic UH really made absolutely clear, especially to me but hopefully to everyone else, is that we cannot do anything without good health. We cannot. For the first time ever, we saw that. We saw the entire world shut down. I don't care if you had millions or billions or big coins. We were all we hold in the backyard doing absolutely not absolutely doing nothing. So so without without good health, I mean, there is no

financial there is nothing else. So we have to do both of these things, especially in our community and especially with black men, in parallel health literacy, financial literacy, as well as going across the entire uh mixer quote unquote the analogy and tackling the mental health, the emotional health, and so forth. Uh and go from there. Yeah, I want to I want to touch on something you you spoke about because Kadina and I actually went through this when I retired from the NFL um in two thousand

and nine. We were in our mid twenties and one of the big issues we had at that time was health insurance because the NFL wasn't carrying our health and NFL drops you when they when they cut you, they don't carry you on health insurance anymore. And my wife at the time was working freelances and makeup artists, and she went on full time for the sole purpose of

getting us health insurance. But at that moment, I realized there are a ton of Americans who are struggling, especially Black Americans who live at or below the poverty line,

with getting proper health insurance. And can you talk a little bit to our viewers about how important it is to have health insurance because I have a lot of younger men that I mentor and they elect to be employees so they can make more money up front, and they'll sacrifice the health insurance because they think, oh, me in my twenties, I don't need health insurance until you do, you know what I'm saying. So can you talk a little bit about how important it is to get a

proper health insurance. It's extremely important to get uh, the right health insurance. At the same time, health insurance as as an industry is so complex, so complicated. Uh, and that's one of the things that I'm trying to help out with the new company I formed. But to go back to the insurance before I answered that question specifically, two things. One, when I was in surgery residency at Emory during rotations at rady Um with trauma, UH, the emergency rooms were full of people I mean out in

the hallways waiting for a room and so forth. It will surprise you a lot of those people. They worked at Georgia Power, they worked at Coca Cola, they had jobs and so forth. So I say all of that to say this is that even with insurance, if you don't know how to navigate the health care system and have the right advice, um, sometimes you'll have problems. The

second thing is I have a mentor. When I was doing I got my master's in public health degree and one of my mentors she was a professor, and she was a medical director doctor as well. Matter of fact, her entire family are medical doctors. I mean the entire family. And this is UH African American female with a tenured

present UH professorship at Emory. But she had the hardest time with insurance from an academic institution as a medical doctor, navigating healthcare system for her husband, who had who had who had Alzeimer's. So it's a difficult system. The third point that I want to bring out and then I answer the question, is that when I was doing surgery and people had insurance, and this was even before Obamacare, was that this day and age, and you all can tell everybody knows as as well as they know the

gas prices are high right now? Is that even even with insurance that daring deduct and code pay is incredible and so and so now people have to buy a small car or a quarter of a bitcoin just to get the dumb uh you know, deductible done so. But with that said, understanding all of that, you're better off having insurance. Not having insurance. Uh, it's just the opposite of having financial literacy. Especially if you're at the age or you have people in your family who may have

a medical emergency, then it can be totally catastrophic. It can wipe you out and so forth. So if you can get insurance in this day and age, that's one of the things that a lot of employers are doing to offer. But that goes back to what we're talking about with regard to black men and black men health. It's the jobs that we can get and what type of insurance that offers and so forth. And then you were fortunate to have, you know, condine to get the insurance.

But that also speaks to relationships and staying in relationships and the divorce rate in the community and so forth. And so you start seeing like, wow, okay, I just got a divorce. I don't have this good job. I'm all hard times I cannot pay the deductible copay, and then I'm not going to go to the emergency room when I should. I'm gonna make this longer. And that

goes to another thing. When you start talking about black men having the worst statistics with regard to life expectancy and with each condition, that the next step is that when we do get those conditions, we present later, and we present with more difficult to treat conditions. And so uh an example of that is blood pressure. Right now, sixty over six black men and women have blood pressure issues. I see it every day with what I do. Most of us are still in denial there. I mean, I

tell people your blood pressure is high. And when when Black people have high blood pressure, instead of being on one medication to treat, we normally need to or three. So not only do we have these conditions, we have the environment that increases our risk for these conditions, and then we have less access to the solutions, and for those who have access to the solutions, we get to

them later with more serious conditions. So I have a question to to a family or a couple like Kadina and I who we were both independent contractors at the time. She decided to go and work full time to get insurance. What are some things they need to look at in their provider to say, Okay, one, I do have a provider, but number two, I have a good provider who would allow me to have regular doctor visits or dentists visits,

because that was another thing. We had medical insurance, but they didn't cover dental at one point, so we had to have a separate insurance for dental. So it just seems like for for a lot of young people and Kadina and I, we went our twenties, had no idea about any of this. What what are some things that we can tell our viewers to look at or listeners to look at when they're trying to pick the right

insurans to get the most out of the insurance. Here, what I always tell people is first you have to look within and that's where the assessment phase come. Who are you, what is your family? What is the risk profile of yourself and your family? And what do you need to address that risk? Right, So you have to say, okay, I got older or you're getting older, because you know the likelihood of getting something major unless it's an accident

or something like that. Of course, when you're younger, you're more likely to get into those car accidents, etcetera. As you get older, you're more likely to get cron conditions and so forth. So anyway, you look at your own risk profile. But then when you look at the insurance, you look and see one, uh, of course it's going to be paid costs. Can you afford it? That's that's

a rate limiting effect, a rate limiting factor there. So once you can afford something, then look within that and say, okay, what all does it cover? What doesn't it uh cover? Or what does it exclude? And then um, you want to look and see what providers you have access to, which hospitals, which hospitals are close to you? Right now, you know it's a big war going on with insurance companies, and you may want to go personally. I love Emory, I love Piedmont. I look for those sort of things.

But you gotta say, Okay, where do I want to go, what's close to me? What do they cover emergency? Um? How much is the deductible? And then once I have a major issue do they do I? Is there a selling to it? Do I only pay up to or if it's a hundred thousand dollar bill, do they make me continue to pay that bill? So you have to

look at you have to look at those things as well. UM. And then you have to look and see if family is involved, how much is the family doesn't deductible cover everybody, uh, individuals, But the main thing you have to have us a lot of people. You have to you have to get referrals from your primary care physician. So if you know someone, you know someone that you like, UM, then you can

get it. I'm developing, UH. I have a new software company and one of the things it touches on this specifically, and it's gonna do much more so in the future, and that is how to find healthcare providers easily. And instead of getting a word of mouth from somebody who may like a certain physician, male, female, different gender and so forth, you'll be able to look objectively and you'll see their entire profile, see their ratings, you'll see their

pricing up front and down the road. Especially with blockchain technology, all that stuff would be very transparent, including the insurance costs and deductibles. So what we need to do and what technology is going to help us do is make this a level plan feel and not just of people who are in the know, but anybody can pick up the app and everyone can see the exact same information and make decisions for themselves and their families. But it's

very complex right now. Uh, it will get more transparent. But I just went through the process myself in December, and insurance is not like it used to be, you know, ten years ago and fifteen years ago. The prices are incredible, the options are very limited, um and and it's very hectic for the normal everyday person to navigate. That's absolutely.

I mean, we just even had some schedule, um an appointment for one of our sons, and they wouldn't even talk about appointment dates, times or anything unless they knew that the insurance is something that we had and they had to call to verify it to make sure that

they were going to get paid. Because I know there's also been the attle between you know, doctors and insurance companies, and then there's the patient and the doctor and the patient in the insurance company, and sometimes it becomes a matter of like hot potato, where we're throwing around this potato with like who deals with this situation or who's gonna have the answer or who has to pay for what?

And that becomes even more discouraging and more frustrating. UM. I had a question to UM, say, you're a black man who you have insurance? We also know black men do not trust the medical profession right, anytime I talked to one of my friends about medicine and going to the doctor, the first thing they bring up. Everybody knows is the Tuskegee experiment. You know, I can't trust the government,

I don't trust doctors if you go to UM. How do we educate our community so that they can be more trusting of the science and trusting of medical professionals, Because as a former pro athlete, I've learned to trust the science and trust medical professionals because that's you know, when your body is your business, you invest a lot of time and energy and being the best version of yourself. But a lot of people who don't have an opportunity to be in front of good doctors don't trust doctors.

How do we how do we eliminate that that stigma that black men cannot trust doctors. I'm telling you, I have goose bumps, to be honest with you, because it's such a difficult issue. It's gonna start, to be honest with you, a comprehensive strategic plan where different groups from all walks of life come together and say, how do we address all of these different things and do them together?

Right now? Especially in the Black community and our culture, we're so divided, especially when it comes to medicine, because we have that foundation and that faith, and I'm I'm very I'm very I really have a lot of faith, and I believe in God and so forth, and I believe I work for Him. But we're so quick in our we work, so we're so quick in our community to say, forget the doctors. I'm putting everything in God's you know, God, God, God, and and and and and

it is not listening to medicine and so forth. And that messaging or what it is determined aby who controls the messaging with social media and you alls platform and other people with platforms that are like yours or they may have different messaging. Uh, it's very contradictory, and it's not clear for the masses. For the masses, I mean, I can I can get off of your platform and I can go onto another platform and that platform is saying,

you know, doctors are bad. Uh, this whole COVID thing, you know, it's so divisive with mask and c d C and all this other stuff. So you've got half the platforms out there bad mouth and people like Dr Fauci and doctors and so forth, and other half you know, saying whatever, that is not helping the situation, and that that messaging doesn't help us as a people who are already suffering. So if you expect other platforms, other people, different colors and so forth to help with that message,

well that's not going to happen. And so so we have to come across and say, okay, what are we gonna say? What what do we need to do and have good people with the messaging, no quacks and all this other stuff come out and do this. But but we but we need a solid plan from entertainers to entrepreneurs to everyday people coming together and say, what is our messaging around healthcare, what do we expect from health care,

what do we demand from healthcare? And how we should we respond to that good health care and get more people talking about black men's health, women's health and so forth. Um, and just as much as with health literacy and understanding that we all work together. I'll give you another example. This guy is very prominent here in Atlanta. I'm not gonna say his name. Um. I was called to the UH to an Atlanta Hawks game where they were going to be at and I was giving him some healthy

injections and so forth. And he's going through a weight loss journey himself right now. But the first thing he said when he came out from the v I P area was like, you know, I don't believe in the government stuff, or I don't believe in this and that. So this is a high profile, very influential person within our community, and the first thing he said to me, without knowing me at all, was that he doesn't trust you know, the government and doesn't trust this and that.

But that's what we're fighting with. And that's the difficult part. Um. You know. The thing is, though, is that people say that, but when it when he gets very serious unfortunately with cancer and in the hospital and in testsive care unit, the trust goes, what can you do? Please help me, Please help me. It's a it's a different story there. But as long as long as you're out on the streets and you're driving, and you're drinking, and you're eating

and so forth. It's a it's another story. But what we gotta do is have people And this is what I try to do, and I call this a ministry. I try to get people to hit a rock bottom before they actually hit rock bottom. That's the that's the thing that we have to do, is that you don't have to hit rock bottom and be in the emergency room, be sick, have cancer or whatever. How can we communicate that this is enough? Life can be so much better than here. But that's all with messaging and the medical

community community cannot do that. Uh, the government cannot do that. It's like, Okay, what are we telling ourselves and what is the long term effect on us, our race, and our future because we're slowly becoming extinct, right, and so we have to address black men's health, women's health, family health, financial health, all this other stuff for the sake of our survival. So that's that's a that's a tough question.

But as the answer, that's going to require a lot of people, uh coming together, and that's the challenge before our culture, our community, and our people, can we stop, you know, with this divisiveness because it's not serving us at all. You know, you touched on a little bit um people feeling like, oh, you know, I can just pray this away and whatever this situation is and I

won't have to see a doctor I have to take medication. Um. And I think that kind of is a good segue to talk about the holistic approach to healthcare because we had a friend who UM lost his stepmother, UM, young woman forty two years old too. They believe it was a heart attack and literally just out of nowhere. And

this was someone who exercised. I think she was peskeyterian, you know, she was checking all those boxes that we have of like the perfect health or what you can do to make sure that your health and fitness journey is on point. So for someone like that to just completely just drop dead out of nowhere, it was the

biggest shock. And we learned that she apparently was diagnosed with high blood pressure but did not want to take the medication and said she was taking a holistic approach to medicine by whatever herbal supplements and things like that, UM that she was taking. So with that being said, UM, what exactly does it mean to have the holistic approach to your health, and um, what can black men do to apply this to their health? Yeah, first, let me

I hate to hear that this unfortunate story. A matter of fact, it goes back, especially when you start speaking of black men's health. Um, it's it's a shame that our life expectancy at birth it's only sixty eight years of age, which is ridiculous. You know, every time you every time you turn on um, social media or television, you find other races, other genders and so forth living into the eighties and nineties, and then we always have you know, some legend on it, you know, six and

sixty eight and it shouldn't be that. Um yeah, and right, fifties and forties and so forth. Um, but from a holistic stamp. Before I say about the holistic, if you have a medical condition, I tell people it's nothing wrong with temporarily been on medication to to stop the risk profile and to help the other process and so forth. Do not being denialed and say Okay, I'm gonna treat this differently. I'm gonna know as long as it helps, and you look at the different profiles and so forth,

do what you have to do. And then work on these things as well. We don't get enough rest. Um, and that's one of the fears that I have with regard to, you know, the health of the financial literacy. Everybody is trying to be a boss. Everybody is trying to make money, and you know that messaging. You know, you have time to sleep later, you know, more hours putting it right, right, But you have to get the right amount of sleep. The lack of sleep, uh, contributes

to the disease process. When you sleep, people don't realize that the body actually heals itself, It releases certain hormones and so forth. So even if it's not consecutive hours. But trying to get in that quality seven or eight hours of sleep, and with this day and age, uh, more so than ever. Uh, mental health is real big. Anxiety is huge, UH, depression is big, and so the ability to sleep and have quality sleep is becoming more and more difficult. But you need to sleep. You need

to drink water. You know, the body is made mostly off water. UH, and without having that, you know, that's when the disease processes happen. That's when you have genetic alterations that lead to cancer and so forth. So you need the right amount of water, you need, the right amount of sleep, and then stress. I cannot emphasize this enough. I talked to roughly. I mean, over the past teen years, I've had a conversation like we're having right now with

over three hundred thousand people. I see maybe a hundred people a day, and I talk with people and so forth. But I can now I'm so in tune with it. It's in the body language, it's in their faith, facial expressions and so forth. It's a lot of stress out there. Social media is not It is not helping at all in my opinion. But we have to deal with stress through proper nutrition, through rest, through getting in contact with nature, with taking social media breaks, turning off all the notifications

and all this other stuff. But anyway, we have to deal with stress, right and so and so stress is contributing to that solid killer high blood pressure, and it's also contributing to weight loss. When the body is under stress, it causes the body's cortisol levels to go up, which is very similar to being on steroids. And if you know anything about being on steroids from asthma or something like that, it's hard to lose weight from steroids. In fact,

most people gain weight. So anyway, stress is absolutely huge. And then of course we have to tackle eating, and eating is complex. A lot of people you know saying I a matter of fact, I have not met a person who've come to me has said I don't eat right and they all eat pork right. And so I've been doing this for I don't know, fourteen years or so forth. But the eating is complex. It's not only what you eat, is how much you eat, what time

you eat, um, And then all those other factors. And then the last piece from a whole listening standpoint that the five things that have people remember the last pieces, the fitness part. We have to incorporate that and you all stay fit, the kids you have beautiful, thank you, And then mentioned it earlier. I love I love your family, and I think the whole world admires. That's a good thing. But but, but, but, but but everybody's stuff. You gotta

you gotta work on the fitness and be consistent with that. UM. And of course you know the proper if you have the proper diet, you know you'll you'll bring in the vitamins and the minerals and the nutrients. But if you have a borderline diet or inconsistent diet, do to travel or do to work or whatever, it's okay to supplement those with healthy vitamins like vitamin D. I I tell everybody.

I tell everybody, especially if you're of of color, and if you're a little overweight with a body mass index or be on my above thirty, and especially during the winter months, you have a vitamin D deficiency, and so vitamin D really helps with the immune system, It helps with the mood, helps with the sleeping, it helps with your bone health. And then you say, why do I

need to worry about my bone health now? Then you start talking about medical conditions for us in our sixties and seventies, and then you say, oh, my goodness, why does somebody have a hip problem. Why did they fall and have an injury and became debilitating and now they reach the age of sixty and now they're dying at the age of sixty five because it changed your life due to a hip fracture. So all of this just

takes awareness, and it starts as early as possible. And the conversations that we have with regard to this, like I said, I welcome of the financial literacy, but right there in parallel, we should also be having the health literacy and the conversations and make our self healthier, our

families healthier, and then our communities. Covin, I'm gonna tell you why this is important, right, you said two things to me that kind of made me kind of just get shook, right because I already knew from studying a bunch of training, different type of training techniques. And they talked about Navy Seals. Navy Seals put their their cadets to I think it's a three day period where they can't sleep, to show them how sleep deprivation can affect

them when it comes to depression and anxiety. And I think this is something over ninety of the Navy Seals during that time. Even the once we graduated, when they were going through the sleep deprivation cycle, felt uh, some form of depression and extreme anxiety. Now we're not Navy Seals. Can you imagine the average person who is team no sleep,

either because they got kids or multiple businesses. They're trying to do all of this other stuff, you know what I'm saying, and stressed because on top of the lack of sleep, they put them through stress cycles as well to see how they respond. But there are people, like you said, because of socio economic additions, conditions who exist in the space of no sleep and stress every single day.

And I can think about family members who have gone through early set Alzheimer's, um hypertension, diabetes, and these are people who continue to work out and try to eat right. But now, when you said it to me, I'm like, these people didn't sleep and they were super stressed and made me think about myself. Here, I'm thirty seven. I try to eat as right as I can. My wife

gives me vitamins. But there's days where, for example, we're doing the podcast up early, we're up late at night with the baby, and I have all the financially, you know, stuff that I'm working on. I just don't feel like myself, and I'm realizing that it could not. It probably has

nothing to do with me working out and eating. It's probably just stressing, lack of sleep and and disconnecting because you also mentioned just disconnecting from social media, from your phone, from life, like Devot has not slept sound aside from the baby. But there's times when I'm like, Devot, turn your phone off, like it can wait. If you want to just leap a solid six seven, eight hours, take advantage of the time to do that, because everything else

can wait, can wait. I'm literally looking at him over here, period, looking at the side of his face, because I'm just like, listen, Dr Calvin is saying what I've been saying, bro, and I mean equally. I'm sure you can look at me and say the same. But we're talking men's health today, black men's health. So I get it. I get it, and I gotta be I gotta be accountable because it's important for people to know that you can't you can't

pay your way into good health. So it doesn't matter how much money you make, you still have to take care of yourself. And this message that you said just now really resonated with me, Like I'm really going to try to take a lot more time to get some sleep and not stress myself out things that I can't control. Let me find ways to meditate. One of my favorite ways to relax, Kale tell you is I smoke weed at night. Okay, Um, that's like my glass of wine.

You know. I'm really into the holistic approaches and being in l A for whole year and it being legal word. I'm not twisting your words, but I will say this the nice that I smoked, right, and I'm not a heavy smoke. I don't sit down and roll twelve joints in and no, but I have my bond. I'll take a couple of puffs in my bond and I do sleep better. I'll sleep a sound six to seven hours when after I've smoked, and I have felt better those nights that I sleep. So I don't meditate, but I smoke,

so that's helping me with stress relief. I do have to have two things to say. I will get to the smoking because I just had a person. I had a guy who was just referred to me, and he came in and I was listening to his heart and lungs right, and I could smell the smoke on him, and I looked down at his nice pants and he had a had a hole in him where he dropped the ashes man he dropped. So so so I do

I do have an answer to that. But getting back to the sleep, I wish I could reference specifically the article, but an article research article just came out uh saying that one bad nights, one bad night of sleep is equivalent to about three months of poor eating. Um. So it's it's it's that's significant. So that's that's that's something to sort of hang your hat on. But getting back

to the smoking. Yeah, getting back to the smoking thing and so forth, and a lot of people do it, and um, and I don't have anything you know, against it. I mean it's more and more coming out, especially medical use of it and so forth. As long as you have control, right, um, and as long as you have control over it, and it's not leading to other things where you do drink too much or you you let your guard down and you start eating the wrong foods and so forth. Uh, then that can happen, you know.

And that's what the guy who was here with me, he realized that as well. It was when he would go out and he was an he's an investor. I mean, this guy makes money. He invests in a lot of businesses and so forth. But he said, when he goes out, he's at the club, he's in his V I. P. Area, they're smoking, they're drinking up a ton, and that's putting on the calories. And so when he realized that and he stopped the alcohol just for a little bit. Uh just during the month of January dropped eight to ten

pounds just off of that. So you have to realize what you do with the smoking, what is it? And then you have to ask yourself why am I smoking? Why am I drinking? And that's what we talked about. I mean a lot of times it's to stress. It's something going on in life. You're just trying to be trying to just you know, escape from it, and so

you have to you know, address that head on. Otherwise, whatever you're trying to escape from, it's just gonna build and build and build, and then that's gonna be another problem. This might have to be a two part podcast question. We still got a whole lot of questions, questions, and we're running out of time, and I'm feeling some kind

of way, Dr Kelvin. I feel like we're gonna have to schedule you back in for the next season as a follow up to this, right, um, But I want to definitely, in the meantime, have people do their due diligence, increase that health literacy that we're talking about, and by doing that, I think they should be able to engage in your work and you should tell them where they can find you online and a couple of the things you have going on so people can know that there's

knowledge and information out there, it's accessible and um what we can look forward to from you. Yeah, on social media, you can find me on Instagram. My name is Dr Kelvin Brown Dr k E l v I N. Brown. Um. I have the website by the exact same name, Dr Calvin Brown dot com. And then the company that I'm really excited about and perhaps you all will look into it as well, is single System dot com is s y n C O System dot com and so that's

gonna go live this summer. But it's it's my entire life put into this one effort out of all the things I've ever learned in public health and medicine, as a business owner and so forth. It's going to be powerful and uh, I am so confident that it's going to change the lives of millions, if not billions here in the United States and eventually globally. So you can look at that. I have a couple of books out, but all of that is in the link in my

bio um on Instagram. Dr Calvin Brown. Umard to that because you were a wealth of knowledge just in this short time that we've had you. So I can just imagine if we can pick your brain over the year's worth of work that you have, it's going to be quite an extensive catalog to take a look at. So y'all heard it here, Dr Calvin Brown, We thank you

so much for your time. We'll be sure to have you back where we can chat more and do like a part two on this right, Yes, sir, and I want to say to um, I appreciate you because part of the lack of trust that we have is that we don't see too many black male doctors. So as a black man, when you can go and speak to someone who looks like you, then you you have a little bit more comfort because I feel like I'm speaking to someone who knows my plight. So give you your flowers, sir.

We appreciate you. Dr Kelvin, and you'll definitely be hearing from us because we're gonna have you back because I still have more questions. I still have, absolutely and you're in You're in Atlantis, so we're like close by, you know what I mean. We're trying to expand our our tribe and territory out here, so maybe we should link up, link up for dinner over a healthy dinner one day, you know what I mean. Absolutely, And like I said, thank you all so much. I admire you all as

as people. I admire you all as husband and wife and family and so forth. And you're doing a lot of a lot of great things for us as a community and as a culture. So thank you for having me. I look forward to the next steps. Appreciate Shanke you so much. Have a good one. All right, one more time, let's give it up for Dr Kelvin Brown, who was

a wealth of knowledge here. He knows so much about health and I'm looking forward I think particularly to his app that's coming out Cinco, where we can go in there and just really dissect everything that is that we need to know about health care, healthcare providers, um and just pretty much a place that we can just do the work in ourselves to figure out, you know, what's the best route for us to take mentally and health wise, and trust us. We're not telling you to trust everything,

but at least do your research. I mean, the thing Dr Kelvin brought up was the noise in social media, right, everybody's whatever, whatever the crisis is for that week, everyone on social media becomes an expert. So many people were vaccine experts. Now everyone is experts on foreign policy because Russia and Ukraine or in the war. So it's like there's all these experts that live out here. Do your due diligence. Uh, listen to people that you trust when

making decisions about your health. Absolutely. All right. Now that's a quick quick break. Time. We're gonna get into some ads and then come back with listening letters. Stay right here all right, Time for a listener letters, and then we'll finish out with our moment of truth as we usually do. Um, and we're going to dive into the first letter. You want to go first, babe, All right, but I go first. Hello, Codeine and Developed. My boyfriend and I have been together for four years and we

are both twenty seven years old. In the beginning of our relationship, we spoke about living together, marriage and having children, and the conversation went well and we seem to agree on a lot of things. I have brought the conversation back up because it has been four years and we are not getting any younger, and I am ready to take the next step in our relationship, whether it's moving in together or getting engaged, but he is not. He would like to wait instead. He is ready to have

a baby because he doesn't want to be an old dad. Now, mind you, he was he had he already has a seven year old from a previous relationship. When I asked why a baby and not moving in together again engaged, he said, because I know what it's like to be a father. I don't know anything about being a husband or no anybody in a happy marriage. And I want to save my money to buy a house. I am not going to live in an apartment to pay someone else's mortgage. He has not. He has not had steady

work in the past two years. Granted, I am not where I want to be yet, but I have consistently been working and going to school, which I graduate next year. Congratulations. We have not been in a good space lately, arguing, not spending much time together, and barely having sex. I never pictured myself dating, let alone falling in love with someone with a kid until I met him. I haven't felt this way about someone before, and I don't want

to just give up on us. But I don't want to continue down this path because right now I am very unhappy. Please can you give your girl some advice? This is the first thing. He's already a dad. I can't even possibly think about planning to bring another life into the world without steady work like that to me just does not I just don't. I can't fathom what that's like. People do it all the time, and they

find ways. Kudos to them, But planning to bring another life when you don't have steady work and you already have another life to take care of, to me, just seems asked backwards. You know, I know we always talk about not judging people on this show, and and we don't ever want to be judged, but certain things require planning and responsibility. You understand what I'm saying, And for me,

I don't understand. Unless you plan to co parent together and both handle the financial burden, asking someone to have your baby when you can't even take care of yourself, to me just seem selfish and in responsive. That's the biggest problem this whole scenario here, Yes, exactly, because it's like, okay, moving in together, being engaged, being married, all that's cute, But when you're thinking about providing for another life, we're already having one, and then there'd be a family of four.

She's going to have to be pregnant for nine to ten months, and then after the baby comes, there's a lot of things that need to get done and taken

care of. And if he can't contribute financially because he doesn't have steady work, and then he can't contribute any other way because you're you know your dad, you don't you don't breastfeed, or God, for read, something happens to her she can't go back to work right away, or or you know, something happens to her and he doesn't have insurance, like like as we talked about, like, these are things that you need to consider when trying to

plan life and bring another life into this world. So absolutely, And I think the fear of the unknown seems like a little bit for him here too, because he's saying, well, I know, I'm comfortable being a dad, so that's something I'm good at, and if I have another baby, I'll be a great dad because I've done this before. But not knowing healthy, healthy marriages, or not experiencing or being around people who are in healthy marriages, not paying someone

else's mortgage, I can't agree with that. Moments where we felt that way as well too. But but how are you going to buy a house you don't have a steady job? Right? I was about to say, you see what I'm saying, How how are you going to get approved for a mortgage? Where where's the down payment going

to come from? There are certain things that have to happen first in order for you to make the next step in life, and I would think that having steady work would be the first thing you do, and not that life or God or social constructs have created a plan. But typically it's you ski a steady job, you meet someone, you find out if you love them or like them, you get married, you approaches at home. You have a baby so that you can put things in order so

that you can take care of it. When you just jump from not even having a steady job to having a baby, it just seems like all those other things

in between are just gonna be messed up. Like you said, sometimes it happens, but then it requires just figuring things out and scrambling, Whereas if you're consciously going into something and making a plan and of course of action, it's to say you can't steps in between that you know, and then you're saying that you don't know of any or him saying that he doesn't know of anyone that is in a healthy marriage or relationship. He can know a bunch of shitty ass dads doesn't mean he's creating

shitty ass dad. You have to not let that be an indicator as to whether or not you will be successful in your marriage, because you've seen shitty ask marriages. Because we see him every day, you know what I mean, And we see unhappy people every day. But it's a choice you make every day. Speaking of choices, she said, can you give me some advice to to what I think? Mama? You have a plan that you want for your life, right,

and we talk about this all the time. Um, you're not obligated to anyone or anyone's idea of what you should do or who you should be. So if you don't feel comfortable in this situation and it no longer serves you, feel free to move on and be proud of the strength you have to move on and find someone who is like minded enough to go into life with the same plan as you. That's the only way it works. Like just staying in because of time or I really like this person, but it's not going to

serve you in the long run. So really sit down and take inventory of what's important. And if you guys can't have conversations to get on the same page, you might want to think about moving in another direction. I hope that helps, girl, That helps, al Right, onto the second one. I love you guys a lot and your content is great. Thank you. I am a twenty two year old college female student. I want to know how you explored your sexual needs by being a young, godfearing

couple in college. We explored I have no one to ask because I come from a CULTU were a sexual activity of any kind or asking about it is wrong capital letters? Okay, girl, same. I want to have wisdom about not necessarily wanting to do it. How would you advise your boys going to college to go about it? What did you guys learn about how to be careful wise,

mentally healthy young adults all through that process? Love you lots? Yeah, girls, So DEVELOP and I were lucky enough that we found each other in college, and we were pretty much moronogamous in college, but it was you and I. But she said, being careful, wise, mentally healthy, young adults, So that's what we weren't. We were not, as you'll find out next year, were working on a project. We'll talk about that, but some things we're going to save because they're coming out

later in terms of stories and whatnot. But we weren't necessarily always making the right decisions, the wise decisions because we were college throng and love and but we also came from background similar to her, where your parents didn't talk about sex and my parents, so we figured it out with each other on our own, and luckily we were able to figure it out just with each other for the most part, Like you know, there weren't many outside influences, and we weren't having to deal with like

too many people in and out of our relationship, and you know, we didn't. We didn't. That wasn't us um or just having casual sex that people tend to have and stuff nowadays. Two one of us none of the respirations into that really, but we both knew, like, for example, there were times when we took breaks in college and if I wanted to explore something that I always told that this is what am I intended to do? And in those cases I protected myself right so I was

mature enough at that point to protect myself. But I think that's when what I was going to get at too is just the biggest protection thing. Because you said, what would you tell what would we tell our boys about in college? You know, Well, the first thing is we're going to be transparent with our kids about and I'm not waiting to college, you know, I'm already transparent, which because Jackson is going to middle school next year.

I remember middle school. Middle school is a cesspool, right, So people, young kids, you are, but you don't have to be. You really don't have to be. Young kids are all looking to explore, and if you come from a home where sex is taboo, those are the kids who do the most exploring during those times because there's

no one at home to guide them. So what I would do with my boys is, especially Jackson being the oldest, is we have open conversations about what sex is, what can happen when you have sex, what the feeling is like um, and even as much as when you feel that energy of that girl over there that I like, what type of energy is that? And how do I move on that energy? Because it's important for people to understand that some of these young boys who don't know

how to act accordingly have never been taught. And that's part of the problem, right We as males have been given the privilege to do whatever we want to do, and then it's boys will be boys, but then young girls get judged. So for me, it's speaking to my boys about that privilege and learning to use discernment when it's time to figure out how I like this girl. She she makes me feel a certain way. What you know, what am I entitled to? Are not entitled to? You

are entitled to say hello? You know? It was it was just as young as Okay, I'm kind of out Jackson a little bit here, and our people in in l A shout out to Rob and Courtney. They have a beautiful young daughter who's the same age as Jackson, and Jackson went by their house and then he came home and Robed calls and he's like, man, we got him talking, and I was like, what happened? He was

just like, you know, I was. I was downstairs, and then my oldest son came downstairs and was just like, um yo, Jackson got his arm all I get their daughter's name. His arm around Aubrey right, and then the father was like, Rob, this is my guy. Was just like, oh yeah. It's like, so what they doing? They know they watched the movie, but he got his all around it. And this is Aaron. Aaron at was fourteen years old. You're not gonna do nothing. You gotta go say something.

So by the time he got upstairs, Jackson already had his arm from around Aubrey, right. So then Jackson comes home. Of course, Jackson being a gentleman, as we talked about, when Aubrey came by our house, he walked her to the door, made sure she got in the door, said hello, and I came back home. So when Jackson gets back home at this in this particular time, because he was at their houses this big of time, I said, how

was everything right? And he's like, everything's fine. I was just like, so, m anything happened and he was just like looking like no, why. So I was like, so I heard that you had your arm around Aubrey. And first thing is oh gosh, dad, and he's he's nine at this point, he's nine. He's like, oh gosh, come on man. I was just like, you're not in trouble, like Mr Rob Tomanzo and used to tell me what happened. He's just like, no, I just we're watching the movie.

And I was like, can I put my arm around you? And I said what she said? She's just like yes. I said, so you asked for permission and he was like yes I did. I said, but why do you want to put your arm around her? And he was just like, I don't know. When you and mommy watch movies, you put your arm around mommy. So like, okay, that's fair. And then I said, so then what happened. She's just like so after like maybe seconds, she's like, okay, you can move your arm now. So I moved. It sounds

like it was about seconds. He was like, give a take to get out of trouble now, and Mrs Robbs will be mad now and now. And I said no, Mrs Rob's not mad. But you know Aaron saw and he looks up to Aaron's like, oh man, Aaron sawts. So now Aaron's not gonna like me. I said, no, that's not the case. What happens is is you have to learn how to be a gentleman, because that's someone's daughter and it's important for them to know that the

guys they have around their daughters are gentlemen. So you did a good job, and you did the right thing. You asked for permission, and when if she ever feels uncomfortable, then you do not do whatever it is that makes her feel uncomfortable. That type of conversation is going to be the same conversation we have as we progress to dating and kissing and sex and babies. I'm gonna be upfront and honest, and I'm not gonna hold any punches.

I'm gonna let them know what's appropriate and what's in appropriate and how they're supposed to move absolutely, but I'm not going to make them feel awkward and guilty about having sexual urges. I'm not going to do that. That's where I well, my mother never made me for my father never made me feel guilty or awkward or anything. It was just always kind of like an awful limits topic. Like, we're just not going to have that conversation because you know,

immaculate conception. Can you talk? Even though when I look back, even though when I look back on my um, I look back at my mom's wedding pictures, I was like, Sis, I was there, but I wasn't there. So I know what happened before before you got married. Talk about what you said. Can you talk about how your mom um believed that you were a vision up until the night before my wedding. I don't know if I talk before that.

My mom literally bought me. Do you remember the Will the Freshman's episode with Will Smith and Um what was her name from a living singles? Yes, Um Fields And she has on that silk pad padded show the pad roads with like the dangling sequence and lads, and it was like floor length. So she got me like this night this like nightgown set and then the rope to go with it. And then she was just like, you know, this is for your wedding night. So when your husband,

you know, he addresses you. And I was like, what she said, He's going to undress you and he's going to consummate the marriage. The marriage. I was like, Sis, there's been some kinds of mating going constantly. Listen, the consummation was consummating, constant mating, that's what we're doing. It was constant mating happening over the eight years that we were together. And I was like, and we had this conversation like over dinner one day and it was very awkward,

and where she was eating steaks, she almost choked. The fourth thing, I was about to have to perform the hamlet on me, but now I am also I also want you, mama to think. We talked to Melissa and Kevin Frederick's Kevil on stage, and Melissa talked about how she grew up in a church. They always made her, like all the girls feel guilty about sexual urges, and then in a way, she didn't even know how to be a wife when she got married, because it was just like you allow right, you allow men to do

all listening. Boys will be boys, go out, explore, have a good time. But then when it comes to women, it save yourself for marriage, don't do this, don't do that. But then these men want these women to now be their wives and be open sexually, and she's never been open, she's never explored. She doesn't know what she likes, she doesn't know what he likes. She's just afraid because it's

been so negative and taboo this whole time. I would tell my daughter number one, because it's a very different conversation. If I had a daughter, I would tell my daughter that having sexual urges is not wrong, and it's normal first and foremost, but you need to speak to your mom about the proper way, because I can't man explain what it is to be a woman and have urges.

You need to speak to your mom openly about what she did to find out what she likes, what she doesn't like, what she approves of, what she doesn't approve of, and how she moved safely throughout her exploration process in life. And I'm not going to say that I dodged that bullet, but I know as a mom with boys, I will also be doubling down on the conversation you have from a woman's perspective. They deserve to Yeah, they deserve to

know as well, at least from a woman's perspective. That is so good because because you always think about the man explaining with the man, like you know, the boys were men explaining to the boys from the man's perspective, particularly with sex. But as a woman, I want to make sure that my boys are sound individuals when they

know how to maneuver with women intimately. You know, I never thought about that because as a father, I said, if I had a daughter, I would teach my daughter the game and I would tell her all the all the things that the guys are looking for and what they might try to do to manipulate you. But also, right, there's this that's the same thing. Women do the same

thing to men. But I would also tell my daughter, like, if you're looking to be someone's I don't want to say wife, because you don't have to be someone's wife while you're exploring. But if you know the type of guy that you're looking for, you you have to understand that there are certain needs that a man has as a woman that if you wanted to be in your power to serve him, be prepared for the same way I'm talking to my son's now about you want to

be somebody's husband. This is what is required to be someone's husband. This is what it entails, if your life, if your wife likes this, if sexually she needs this, this is your responsibility as a husband. This is what I'm gonna tell my boys. I feel like if I had a daughter, I would have the same exact conversation. Yep, sounds good. Wow, that was like a whole episode. It was a listening letter. I'm like, okay, um, all right, y'all. Soo as you can see we're getting into the nitty

gritty with these listening letters. So email us while it's hot, okay at advice at gmail dot com. That's right, there's d E A D A S S A d V I C E at gmail dot com. All right, moment of truth. Time back to men's health. Um, we're gonna wrap up the episode with a tape away, a tidbit something that you felt. Um for me, I think it just rolls back to my sound bite and what I spoke about briefly during the episode. Black men, we love

you and we want you to be around. There are so many obstacles that the black man has to overcome, deal with, face with on a day to day basis,

just living and existing in his skin. Um, socially, you know that, I feel like if this is something that we can take into our hands, if we can, as our black women, as we can continue to pour into our husbands and into our you know, brothers, and into our our cousins and our uncles, the importance of taking care of themselves, because this is something that we can control to an extent, health care, you know, insurance aside um, do that, like, let's continue to just take care of

each other while we can, because there's so many things that we can avoid, so many things that can be vented. As we heard from Dr Brown, Um that if we just take the time to take care of each other and take care of ourselves, we can probably live longer. Absolutely, Um, my moment of truth is simple. This was a moment of truth as you were staring into the side of my face because Dr Calvin Brown was talking. But um, sleep deprivation and stress are silent killers like carbon monox side.

So so men, young men, do not let your grind be the grim reaper. So you're constantly working team no sleep. I gotta get this money. I gotta hustle out of out of But it's stressing you out and you're not sleeping. You won't even be able to see and exist and enjoy the fruits of your labor if you don't get some sleep and stop stressing that part. All right, y'all continue to follow us on social media. Dr Kelvin gave you all of his Dr Calvin Brown, I just say

his whole name. Um, he gave you all of his handles. But for us, you know where to find us. That as the podcast, Dan I am and I am devout, and if you're listening on Apple podcasts, be sure to rate, review and subscribe. Dead Ass is a production of I Heart Media podcast Network and is produced by Dinorapinia and Triple Follow the podcast on social media at dead as the podcasts and never miss a Thing.