Best Friends, Better Moms with Bianca Smith

thing to mention, we're married. We are. We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of life's most taboo topics, things most folks don't want to talk about through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead As is the term that we say every day. So when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts, the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Were about to think, Philo talk to a whole new level. Dead Ass starts right now.

I feel like we all have our friends that we go to in a time of triumph, in a time of despair, and everything in between. You know, So I'll never forget this day or actually it was a couple of consecutive days where it's like, you know, you have your friend, haven't spoke to them in a minute, that you start playing this very intense game of phone tag and you're going back and forth, and I'm just like, man, I just can't get in touch with my girl Bianca

because she called me, I called her. We're just playing this game, right. So finally I get ahold of Bianca and she says to me, girl, guess what she hit me with the girl right, guess what? So I'm just like, what's going wrong, girl, it's been a minute, haven't spoken to him? And she said, girl, you will never guess I am regnant. So at that point in time, there's so many different reactions that I could have had, right.

I could have been like, oh my god, girl, you're pregnant, like yeah, or it could have been like oh, because I know that's not what you really wanted. But this one in particular, throw me for a whole loop. And I'll tell you why. I said, Okay, sis by who? By who? And the reason I asked that is because I know, to my knowledge that her husband had a vasectomy.

He got the snippit eas the bulls were smashed, right, So, as far as I know, or I didn't know who baby is this, Biancle because it clearly can't be your husband's. So I thought she was dropping like the entire teapot on my head, right, So I'm like, all right, So she's like, fool, it's it's keep's baby. Clearly get me killed down here in the street. It's clearly kids baby. However, um,

I'm eighteen weeks. I was like, what eighteen weeks? So not only is she pregnant for her husband who had a sect, to me, she's eighteen weeks pregnant, now for me as a woman who's pregnant with my fourth. I knew I was pregnant by like week six because my body just like I just know what it is. But with Bianca, I'm like, girl, you didn't know that you were eighteen weeks pregnant until you were eighteen weeks. Eighteen weeks pregnant, did not know I was still getting a period.

I was still getting period, but it was like kind of funny, right, So she was like, girl, I think I thought I was going through menopause. I was getting like all these different flashes, you know, I had really bad. What I thought was gas. Meanwhile, it was the whole baby moving inside of her that wasn't gas. Bianca um so I was completely thrown for an entire loop. Bianca thought she was going through menopause. You were actually about to go get light bo done. I was getting ready

to go get lightbo section. I didn't care, don't care. She had four kids already, so I'm like, I'm all for it. If you need a little nip, a little tuck, a little suction after four kids, by all means do what you gotta do this. And it was in your pre surgery blood work that you found out you were pregnant. So for further confirmation you had to shooting over to the O G Y and just to see, like, just scam my belly real quick and see if any baby pops up in there, because it could still be gas.

I'm praying that is gas. At this point. It's not gas, guys, it's a whole baby, a whole baby, A whole baby developed up in here. I didn't even know. I was like, what what? So, come to find out, your boy Keith did not go back and get the check that he was supposed to get. So obviously, I think you're supposed to, like wait for three months, all this extra you have to He did not do his job. He knew it was job. Had a whole baby, and here we are with a whole baby, and she's beautiful and baby number

five for Bianca, that was story time. You. Oh, we're gonna unpack a little bit more with story time when we come back. Okay, if we're gonna pack it after this, I don't know what I'd ever do with that. You from the beginning to the end, you always been here right beside me. So I call you my best friend through the good times and the bad. One brother, I lose if I win, So I call you my best friend. Bianca and I have known each other for a minute. It's been a minute, and I figured, you know, devoted

his guy's episode and whatnot. So for my girl's episode I really needed, especially as I'm about to have another daby, I needed a session where I can just like kickback, we can have some girl talk. I'm new to the Atlanta area. Bianca's been here for a minute now, about seven years years, but she and I actually met years ago in Detroit when her husband and my husband were playing together on the Detroit Lions. So that's been how many years now, that's like, what fifteen years? About that

makes sense. I always gauge it based off your first daughter, my girl Gianna, because she's sixtet now, so and I met you, but she was like about it. But two years maybe justin ready to turn too. So this has been a friendship in the making for a long time. And um we have literally been through so many different phases of life together now having nine kids, nine kids in between us, well eight, I am on the way to nine. We're counting, We're counting. We're going to count

baby Bore ready, We're gonna count him. I'm so sure that it's going to turn into ten kids in between us. Guys, you see what she's trying to do. You see what she's trying to do. Misery loves company, right. I told you that that five kid club, that that membership fees

too too expensive for me. I can't, I can't. So um, so, Bianca, just say hello to the dead ask community, tell them, tell them hello, introduce yourself, let them know a little bit about yourself, what you do running all these businesses, being a boss, mom and wife. Okay, So my name is Bianca. Of course, I have five kids. I'm married to my husband Keith, four girls, one boy. We own

businesses together. We do youth sports league and I Sports and Douglasville, viette Ville and Coweda County I hope, I'll say Coweda right, um. And then also rehab real estate. So that's what we're doing thus far. She's always doing all the things which I absolutely love about you and admire about you, I must say, because Bianca be getting

it in. So let's go back to storytime real quick, because that was just that was the funniest phone call, and it's something that only you and I feel I could laugh about because let's be, let's face it, another baby, another blessing. It's all good. But what do you think went wrong with the whole scenario if we had to say something quote unquote wrong. Of course, you weren't expecting to have another baby because you were done. Your youngest

at the point was how old? Eight? Maybe my youngest, yeah, was eight? Was eight? Eight years old? Right? And we had had a previous conversation where you had said to me, you know the benefit of having kids young is that you have them young and by the time they're out the house, you still have like your entire forties, fifties, sixties to just live it up, to regain yourself, to do all the things, and then you've got it over.

I don't know what happens. Okay, so that occurred, But you know what, the good point about it is that I do have older kids, so now they're they're very helpful, or let's say they were very helpful because now that she can walk and talk and she has her own little personality, they're like, Mom, come get your kids to the built in babysitters you had you don't really have anymore. So what did it feel like for you and your husband when you found out that you were pregnant after

a vasectomy? So technically it's the thing that they can't guarantee a d percent that the vasectomy will will completely rid you of the possibility of it. They cannot guarantee it. They give you a piece of paper that you sign at the beginning of the procedure and it does say that it has like a certain percentage of it does work. But the point is Keith Smith Jr. Back into the doctor's office and they're supposed to check and make sure he did not go back guys, and he did not

tell us information. So from what I understand, you're supposed to have like a whole lot of sex after. You're supposed to have a whole lot of sex after. From my That's what I'm being told, right, or a whole lot of ejaculation. So it's not necessarily have tag, you know, to get it out, to get out the active sperm. But there Brille was active. She was highly active as we can tell. And she's run around like a little

bull of fire. That little scorpio baby actually makes me decided to have a scorpio baby too, because Brielle, I'm gonna pick them up together. They can have a field day. They can have a field day. Brille is on another level. Scorpios. I got to say, I don't know much about them, but I will get to know them very soon. Um. So there's a discussion sometimes about people always just naturally being in people's uterus, right, being in your uterus, wanting

to know like all the plans you have. You know, you have one baby, it's like when's the next one. You have another baby, it's like when's the next one. Then you have like me three of the same time, and it's like, are you going for the girl? And now being pregnant with my fourth boy, I'm still getting the question, so are you going to try for the girl again or are you going to go for the

fifth one? And I'm just like, at one point do people just say, you know what, let me just shut my mouth and just ride whatever way these people are on because they're doing their thing. How many they don't every day don't. I mean even my mother she like when we went to Mexico, she has the kids, she has the grandkids, and she's like, oh my gosh, you should totally have a sixth one so Brielle can have a playmate. I'm like, it's like, when does it ever end? Mom?

When does it only have one? And now you have me having all these kids. No. Absolutely, you live in Michigan, ma'am. Please, Mom's gonna have to come down here and keep me company. The two of them can actually get together and be together. Um, but yeah, at what point do you feel like, how how many kids are too many kids? How many kids are too many kids? That's my question. That's my question too, because um, literally I have like with the five it's

it's not. I feel like once you have three, after three, you can manage any amount of kids because my house is like the kid spot. Everybody drops their kids off in my house and when they're there, I don't notice any anything. So I can say so, whether it's five or whether it's nine or nine or ten, once you get past three, you can handle anything. I remember you telling me that too. You did say that, so, so I think it's safe to say. You know, you have

one child, Okay, that's like two parents on one. If you have like you know, a traditional household and then you have too, it's like, okay, there's that. You know, I forget what it is it man to man coverage one one ratio, and then you have three in and now it's just like chaos, chaos. Right after that, it's

just like anything goes right, anything goes used to it. Well, let's see what stats we have here, you know, because I asked my good my good girl triple to pull up some stats for me, and let's see what is the consensus, right, because I feel like back in the day, when you look at our grandmothers, they were having like like what else were all doing back in the day

other than getting it in. So um, overall, women have two point zero seven children during their lives on average, up from one point eight six in two thousand and six, the lowest number on record. Interesting, so it seems like most people are having two children. What's just here to say? What's the point seven about? It could be a pet,

you know, a fish, something like that. The median age at which women are becoming mothers in the US is twenty six compared to twenty three, and so I do feel like there's also a wave of women waiting later to have kids. So you had told me early on that you actually preferred having children younger because you felt like, well, what was your reasoning? You tell me, Okay, one, I

you had your first child at what age? I had my first child at twenty two, So twenty two, so it went and I was like that strategic it was? It wasn't It wasn't. It's just like I ended up getting pregnant like every two months. Um, I don't know. I feel like it's them close together and younger. I can definitely tell the difference because now with Brielle, I was a geriatric pregnancy. They just kept on saying, oh, geriatric pregnancy, your geriatric geriac after me, after this pregnancy,

we're not using that no more. Ever, so younger, I noticed I had way more energy with the kids, like it was just like more patients, more energy, more everything. And then now with I can tell the total difference with Brielle because I am like, okay, I need a break, can't go running up and down the stairs with you,

just like, come on, girl, let's let's calm down. And I don't know if it's working opposite for me, because I know a lot of people that have waited until their thirties to have their children, But me, I'm like, I wanted to have them young, get them out of the way, and then spread your wings and fly. I'm like, okay, and then Rial came along and snap the wings through the wrench. Then well yeah, I think that's the thing um where I didn't see the benefit of having Jackson

at twenty seven. But at the same time, too, I feel like I'm able to afford my children more opportunity

now that I'm having kids a little bit older. Because you're figured in your early twenties, a lot of times you're still trying to figure things out, right, So there's that process of trying to figure out careers or trying to build money, and people ask like, when's the right time to have a kid, and I'm always like, there's never really at right time, Like how you ever really felt prepared for a kid, no matter how particularly your first one. It's like something that happens that gets you

off balance or unprepared to handle what's coming next. It's like ever changing. So it doesn't really make a difference about the age. I feel like your finances have to be in order. Luckily my finances were orders okay, But um with that, I mean, you just have to make sure that you're ready to have kids because you are not going to be the same person as you were

before kids. And then your mate and your significant other have to take that into consideration too, because of course when we're younger, younger of course, younger guys, younger girls, we don't think the same in our thirties as we do in our twenties. But you don't think the same

as a mother as you do when you're not. So that changed the mothering part change, Like it was just like, oh, I'm responsible for this little life and I'm the person that has to stop up to the plate and what if something happens, it's my fault, Like it's that there's

like no point of return. We've spoken on the episode a prior episode, and I've mentioned about um someone who I spoke to recently that was just like, you know, UM, as much as I love my children, I really would have rethought if I even wanted to be a mother to begin with, because it's just a lot. And she said, the way her anxiety is set up, she's like I saw I mean recently that said motherhood means that you're pretty much going to be in a constant state of

worry for the rest of your life. And I was like, that is me a hundred and ten percent, Like I'm going to literally be worrying for the rest of my life about all these different children. So it's like not worrying about one, not to not three, but when you let four and five children out into the world, it's like that much more intense. You're definitely gonna worry. And then the other aspect to it is like you have multiple personalities that you're dealing with. That's a whole another

thing in itself. Personalities that you're dealing with so guess what you're basically schizophrenic or bipolar or like you're you're trying to help everybody and learn each child because they're going to process things differently. They're going to take things you might say to them the heart like they're more sensitive, they're more responsible, they're like you have to push them, like you have to learn your kids to know what

exactly to do it. And I think that's the biggest process that you have to get past because some people just say, Okay, I have three kids. Oh I'm parenting these three kids the same way, and you can't write. It's like you can't do right. And so I told you I recently, I said, I feel like we have to style step accordingly to each child. And he was like, mmm, yes, and no, I think that part of it is style stepping.

Like you said to say, Okay, I know that this particular child can handle this criticism delivered in this manner, whereas this child may not be, you know, as right what happened. I can tell much of your kids would be more dramatic. But then you know you'll have one that you have to be a little bit more sensitive

with the delivery or the approach that you take. So he said, you know, I think it's too fold k. I think it's a thing where yes, you have to style step a bit, but you also kind of have a set have to set a precedent as the parent, like listening all this is just what it is. This is the rule. Like he believes in being very direct and blunt in a relationship and also in parenting. So I've had to learn that way because I've kind of been more of the ones to stout step around the

kids individuality and like the way they receive things. Like I know I could tell Cass something bluntly, actually this is cats is, That's that's that's my baby, cats is godmother, so Cats I could be like, yo, listen x y Z, this is how I was gonna go, and he's gonna pout, or he might look at me sideways, such as Sagittarius, he might look at me sideways, but at least I know I can deliver it to him in that manner and be firm, Whereas with Cairo, if I tell him something,

he almost feels as if, oh my god, I disappointed mom, so I'm gonna cry, you know. Or Jackson he just thinks he knows everything at ten. I recently told him the other day. I was like, listen, if you know everything in ten years old, I'm gonna just retire from being your mom. How about that? How about that? Why? What was his response on that? Listen? He was like, Okay, I can't, like literally just little things that I've been trying to, like, you know, because you got to coach

your kids up. You have to teach them little things, and you know, I was explaining something to him, and he just literally was just so bothered by the fact that I even had the audacity to say anything to him. So I say, you know what, I'm gonna just retire from being your mom since you know everything at ten, and that's what am I here for? But that's how you feel. But now that Gianna she's sixteen and Giselle she just went into high school, so she's a ninth

grader freshman, and she goes to Giselle. I hear them talking. I'm like, let me go spine on these kids, and she's like, listen. The thing that I wished that I would have did, I wished that I would would have listened to mom and been more involved in clubs and sports. And stuff in high school because then bam, the pandemic happen and she was like starting starting. I was so excited. I was like, that was nice. Yes, she usually because

that would be don't want to stop. See. I actually definitely did not start to relate to anything my mother said to me at all until I was like in my thirties. But the most part as apparent at least now that you say that, that was the same thing with my mom. And you know, our mother's generated is different, like they came from a parent generations like do as I say, not as I do. What I say goes,

that's just it just speak quiet, don't say nothing. And with our kids, I feel like I gave them a little bit more freedom to kinda oh this is what I want to do, and this is what because you have kids, right, but you can't. You cannot treat your newborn like you treat your tydler. You can't treat your tydler like you do your school aged kid and then your high school or like, as they progress and evolve,

you're supposed to evolve as a parent with them. So you have to kind of put your feelings to the side. Because I know my teenagers. I mean, my teenagers talk to me about all kind of stuff, like crazy stuff, and I'm like just sitting there, like I'm like getting there and I'm a Gemini, so it's on my face and I'm just like, you're getting there. Keep your face straight, don't make anything, don't make any movements. Don't like judge because then they'll shut down. They're like, okay, I don't

want to. Even so, you feel comfort in the fact that your your your high school age children can speak to you about count that My mom was like, I came up to you, what exactly you like? Who like your books? How about that? Right? Do you know your math facts? I'm like I like this boy, I like that boy or oh this boy said this, and I'm like, okay, right. But nowadays I feel like our children are left to contend with so much more, and they're exposed to so

much more than we were back in the day. I mean, we were exposed to so but we kind of had to dig to find it. You know, you had your little friend that was a little fast that your mom warned you about, like just don't hang out with her because I could tell, like they could tell from early who the little fast ones were you know, so that's like, no, that's my friend exactly. You defend your friend, but no

one good. Well you was getting tips and tracks from her, like I was exposed to little Kim writing down song lyrics from early all sorts of stuff. I forget what book it was that I was reading. Everybody was reading this book back and the day it was a flag girl Girl fla girl, or like sane books and like things like that. Like that was like circulating in middle school, and I'm like, oh lord, that is the age. As my heart starts to palpatate to Jackson middle school and

middle school. I was just saying about middle school and my Okay, these kids in middle school they're doing all types of things and and like everything. When I say all types of things, I mean they're doing everything. So I have to like talk to my son a little bit differently than I talked to my girls and say, like just straight up, don't be touching this, don't be doing this, like girls say this, don't bry and keeps

looking at you. Remember the other day she was like I had to tell them recently, don't let these girls touch your pp Don't let them do this. Do not touch there anything, because we just don't touch your balls. You don't touch this, you don't touch and there, and keeps just looking at me like I'm gonna talk to him. You just don't worry about that, right right. But with our boys to listen, I go, I just I know what it is. It's like, I gotta tell you what happened.

Was not going. We have to girls too. They're just like, oh my gosh, Mom, do we have to talk about this right now? And I'm like, yeah, we do. That's when you pull up pictures of like herpies, all types of stuff I was doing, get mono and they're like this mono and I'm like, yeah, don't right, I'm some somebody. Sometimes you have to put the scare taxes in there just so they can have it in the back of their mind. If you want to anything, just now to pictures.

Just remember the pictures. You want to search stuff on social media, look up what herpies looks like. There's on I'll break they on parenting. Just scare the hell out of him and then hug him after. So you touched a little bit on this when you were explaining um your story with you and your husband mothers, generally with each child tend to be reborn in a sense, right, we're learning something new, whether it's either about the child,

we're learning something to about ourselves. Like I feel like after Kaz, which was my third birth, I was like, shit, I'm superwoman. Like I had a whole motherfucking baby in the bathtub. What I was looking at it? And I was like there the whole time I was, I was breathing with you, girl, all the things. I'm like, why am I pushing? Why am I pushing? Nothing to push out? Listen.

I mean it was a time. So I just learned in that in that experience, like wow, like the strength that I had, you know, and also just like the faith that I had in God in my body to do what it was supposed to do, and like also just overcoming fear. Like so many things I learned in that process. But you also hear moms talk a lot about how they tend to lose themselves in the process

of parenting and becoming a mom. So how do you feel like over the course of having children over the past couple of years that you've had to kind of defer your dreams a bit um or put things on hold, how has that kind of manifested or not in your life? Well, with that, I mean timing, Like I have a time issue, guys, I've had it for a long time. Contain you may know back at games, I'll be missing the national anthem, I'll be missing playing. I'm like, yeah, we're there. No,

I was not on time. So and that is a big thing for Keith, like he loves to be on time. And I feel like with having the kids, that has multiple kids has gotten me to the point where I have to be aware of the time. I have to be aware of the schedule and what's going on because with kids, of course you need some kind of stability and some kind of scheduling and that kind of thing.

So with me, the biggest transition was learning how to manage my time and being able as a mother to say, hey, from this time to this time, I don't care what y'all doing as long as the house is not burning down and y'all learned dead, don't don't tell me right too for me go to your dad because I can remember like when they were smaller, and I'm like, just in the shower, like that's my time, Like, let me just let me, just wash my hair. Okay, guys, that's

all I want. Can wash as in piece please, that's the thing. You can't wash your ass because Cannons had probably maybe three and all of a sudden, I feel like little fingers and there in my butt crack. I'm like opening my eyes, like what the hell is this? He's in the shower with me with like mom, and I'm like, where's your dad? Right? Where your dad? Watching football? Yeah? Time management has definitely become a thing with me too.

And it's funny because now that we're kind of back into a routine where the kids are back in school, we're treading lightly. We're starting to slowly put Jackson back in sports. It's like, literally, you should see our calendar. Aside from just like career stuff with Deval and I, we have a joint calendar with our manager, so there's like work related things. Then there's like Jackson and his slew of activities that are happening several times. So I can only imagine as Cairo and cats get into it,

and then eventually this baby when he's grown up. That's kind of where you are now with your kids. Yes, the activities. Yeah, oh I'm tired of the activities. Okay, because when I was a child, yes, I was in activities, but my mom was like, oh, them activities better be at school because I'm not driving you all around town.

But now I found myself literally in the car from like six thirty because when I moved down here to Georgia, even you know, they start school way too damn mad early, way too early early, Like I swear the first six months school, they were late like every day to that. The lady was like, you're gonna have to tell your mom to get you here on time. And I was like, tell her to come and help pits in the morning. Yes,

how about that? Yeah, don't the nerve there should be like some sort of like leeway given to which children a little like a great spirit period can be a great speriod, Like you shouldn't have had so many damn kids anyway, that's probably what they didn't up staying to us. But your organization, I've realized, like, even if you weren't a person who was organized before having multiple children, you're gonna an eyes or your life is just gonna be chaotic.

You know what stresses me out having to figure out dinner every night? That is like my biggest stressor when it comes to having a family, and not to mention my husband who was like social butterfly and always wants to have people over by the house. So I'm always finding myself like, oh my god, what am I going to feed these people plus my children on a random night.

That's like my biggest like anxiety. I feel like with food, I'm really good at food, Like I'm really really beyond because Loki is chef, y'all, she could she could go down as we sit here with banana put it in our face that y'all see the banana putting. M hm, yes, um, meals are not a problem. The problem is the same thing like I don't know are your kids like I don't want to eat that. I eat that yesterday because my kids are crazy. They don't eat leftovers. I don't

know where they got it. Definitely not lucky, thankfully, thankfully devoting. The kids are not super picky. Um. But Jackson has a bad habit of asking me like in that moment, like mom, can I have tacos bound? And I'm like, bro, it's it's seven o'clock, it's dinnertime, it's tonight. This is what it is, this is this is what we're doing tonight, this is what we're doing today. It's hard like that, it's hard. And then multiple people and then their taste, like it was a point in time where I was

like the craziest mom on the planet. I was like, Okay, this person doesn't like cheese anymore. This person doesn't like purple grapes. When did this happen? Like, I'm bringing purple grapes on there. We don't eat purple grapes anymore. We only eat green grapes. When the hell did you stop eating purple grapes? That's literally like kids, they have the season. Even my husband. One minute he's eating corn pops and

the next minute he's out pops no more. Meanwhile, I went into Costco and got the whole big box of corn pops that's gonna sit there and right now they still there. We should start swapping, we should start sending. I'm gonna like cereals do you have, because I have like a whole big but because they don't want, they don't want any more anymore, And you're buying in balk and you're like for what you sound like Mimi though,

because my mom has spoiled my children. I mean, there's a benefit of her living with us for sure, because she's like great help, but also too, they've gotten used to my mom like takes breakfast orders for them. The night before, was doing what Mimi was doing, like what literally like you want to you want to waffle? She was doing omelets? Yeah, I was doing omelets, just getting fancy. I was getting off fancy. I was doing, Oh you

wanted for Tata? I was like, who are you the black Martha Stewart calmed down, like just give them a bowl of cereal? Like so I had to like pull that back a little bit in order to create time for myself, right, And that was the big that's the biggest thing with mom's We do not have an of time for ourselves or we don't take it because we feel like mom guilt, like, oh, what are they gonna be eating? Oh, Chick fil A some nights, it's gonna be Chick fil A, y'all. Sometimes gonna be read today, right,

all the things. So when it comes to like career, for example, with me, my biggest apprehension with knowing Okay, for example, after Cats, I wasn't completely done because I feel like I've heard at least that most women know like internally like I'm done having children. Then you have some that are just like, oh well, I'm kind of on the fence, like I could do one more or not. So that's kind of where I was with cats. I'm one of three, devots one of three, so three kind

of felt like a natural number to me. And I got into the swing of having the three children. Um, and he's like, I can have six kids if you let me, you know what I mean, And he did number six, like that's to six kids. When we first six kids, I'm like, I don't know, no, no, no, believe that's our grandmother's generation. So I said, all right, I was on the fence. We had one more, but my biggest thing was the woman, of course, carries the baby.

And then what happens. You have to kind of reset and you have to get your body back in order, and then you're pregnant for nine almost ten months, and then you have that postpartum phase where you're trying to get back, you know, to your old self, which takes realistically. When my obie told me that it would take probably a year after giving birth for me to feel like myself again. I was like a year nah, but literally it was almost like a year to the date before

I felt like, wow, like I'm myself again. So for me, it was having to be pregnant, having to get back, and then putting my career on hold, especially doing on camera stuff because you you know, you've dabbled in acting and stuff too, and doing on camera work commercials with your family, so it's that pressure feeling like, man, if I were to go into having a baby again, it's literally like putting my life on hold for a year and a half to two years and then having to

restart that career or jump start that career, or if you're in the acting world of the television world, it's literally having to then you know, be noticed again because once the people start to get a buzz about, you kind of want to keep that going. So the only kind of constantly that I had, particularly doing the work that I do now, was thank goodness for social media. I'm able to do a lot of my work from

home and kind of control my schedule and stuff. So have you ever had any career moves or opportunities that you had to kind of let fall by the wayside because you were having to mom, or you were pregnant, or you were busy with your family. Yeah, it's definitely that um acting modeling kind of situation because that field is so fickle. It would get to the point that, of course, like our whole family would be called in to do things and then they would say like, okay,

where everything's great? And then I'm like, why are you buying not I'm like still emotional because I just had a baby, Like why am I not in the picture? They just have my hand like, so they were basically like, come in, mom, so you can take care of these four kids with their dad, because it was before Brio was born with their dad and he's going to be a single dad at the kitchen table with the cereal

and the breakfast. Problem with that. I had a problem with that because your hand could be well who then how keeper's hand? Were they trying to push the narrative of the single black dad trying to raise the kid girl? Because I couldn't mind me in a shot. Every single job that I have booked with the kids and Keith, it has been like, okay, man, we're going to have you pour this water right here into this pop and the country, and then we get the pictures and the

like why am I in all? Why why did they call me? And I'm like in some of the pictures, and then like it would just be like my sock, I'm like and then the lady was like, look because that's at the time when I was like, really, you know, together, because I was working out right, like I got back together to only show my hand what the hell and was off risk have four kids. It just doesn't fit

show off that skinny ass risk. That's funny because I used to go on casting sometimes too, and they'll be like, you don't look like you could be a mom with two or three kids, and I'm like, but these are all my children, though I don't understand. There was one point when Deval and I actually took our god children on casting with us because they needed us to have older children, and they were just like, it just doesn't make sense because you're like, you look too too like

fit and young to have three and four kids. But why is there? And that's the and that's the thing too, because why is that? Why are you putting us in a box? Why do the moms have to be in a box like we can be we can look like all the things, every single thing what you need us to look like, we can do it. That's a fact. That's a fact. So how do you how do you begin to then like regain yourself after a baby? Like,

where are some things that you do? So for me, I'm very reliant on and and thankful for my village that helps, so that way I'm able to kind of dive back into work. You know, Mimi's here with us full time. So it's great because she's like, whatever did you gotta do, go ahead and do it, and then we don't have to worry and think about the kids. You don't have as much help on hand, So how are you able to kind of like regain yourself after that and just kind of dive back in don't have

as much help. The only thing is Keith's mom does live here in Georgia, so when we do need things or do need to like take a break, go on vacation, whatever, we're able to call her. My mom is all in the way in Michigan and Loki, She's like, let me go to the casino. What watch grandkids are? Know? How does any quay to the casino to a grandma? Thanks grandma um. So with that, a lot of things have been like Keith and I have had to we work together. First,

we work together, we lived together. We pretty much to do everything together. So we've had to come like sit down at the table and say, Okay, from this time to this time, this is when I want to work out or he'll train me. So my big thing was like getting back to being active and working out. That

was the biggest thing because my mood. I noticed, like my mood is better when I work out each day, I have more energy than dorphins are running and and when I don't, I feel like I'm still in postpartum like. So working out has been the key for me. So getting back on track that was one of the biggest things. And then pulling in that help when you need it, even if you have to hire somebody, but I don't. I mean I don't hire anybody because I don't trust

many people. But I don't trust anybody. That's why usually all of our kids end up at either house, so I'm like either droppable here and then we'll have eight almost nine kids here, or literally the other day Cass was like, I want to go down to Brianka's house, and I was like, I want to go down to Banka's house. And I'm like, okay, he's so in love with her. It's like the cutest thing. You'll have to

see it. So I'm actually glad that you're closed by and we're close by, so you guys can have a relationship and our kids can have a relationship, you know what I mean, because it's a scary thing raising these kids nowadays, not knowing who they're going to end up being with. I low key, but hi, KEI want to arrange all my children's marriages, so I'm gonna be vetting

daughters in law for anyone out there. I was just saying to be I was like, I wish Gazel was like a little bit younger Jackson was a little bit older, because that had been perfect and that way, I know that I jell with my in laws off the bat, and I wouldn't have to worry about liking people because I don't really like people like that. In case y'all didn't know, I know, Devils tells you all sometimes, but I really don't like people like that. That's that's crazy.

But guess what, girls of people, how are you going to handle that, Like, do you ever look ahead and think to yourself, like how am I going to handle that when my son's actually get engaged or get married and what because it's kind of like the boys usually, like I don't know, it might just be in our family. The girl our kids are like more close to the mother's side of the family, just because I don't know why that is what it just is. Yeah, it kind of happens that way too for us to Yeah, though

both families are pretty involved. My family is like super super involved, So the kids normally tend to gravitate more that way. And I think it's because of me being the woman and about being the man. So that does kind of concern me because I'm just like, damn it, my boy, they're gonna leave me, Like all of my boys are eventually gonna leave me, and they're gonna like cleave to their wife as the Bible says, and then

what happens to me? You know, So the valley is just like you say that, like that's a bad thing. Like once the boys are going, it's not gonna be me and you rocking it out. And I'm like, you know what that is true? That is true, because we genuinely like our husbands. We do we do we like for the most part, Yeah, for the most part. Pretty cool dudes, you know. Um, but yeah, I think at that point, then shoot, I mean, I guess we'll have

to just come to my house. I guess how come to your house, do a couple of trip from to the point that with the girls. Like that's the only thing that he does say all the time. He's like, well, girls don't ever go anywhere. Boys are gonna leave or whatever. So you have your daughters all this time, and I'm just like, that's true because when you think about it, when your daughters have babies, if they choose to, then you're probably gonna be like the first one there for it.

Because I know my mom is like the first one there when I have my babies. So when my my my said granddaughters are born, I'm not All I know is that these holes better let me in the are we coming? We can hospital, I'm coming to the house kicking it in. I'm kicking it in. I don't care what you have to say. And hopefully my boys will know to be like, listen, my mom is gonna be She's gonna be maybe, so I say that I don't

want to be the overbaby. I don't want to be the overbearing mother in law either though, because that can be that can suck to you know what I mean. I don't have an overbearing mother in law, so I don't know what that's like. I've heard of people, Um, I actually appreciate my my mother in law. I have and I have a great relationship where I lean on her and she's there when I need her, and then you know, she'll offer I'll say yes to know or whatever,

but I usually appreciate the help. So yeah, I always appreci shade the help. Like with my mother in law. When she comes, she pretty much she'll do everything like it would be to the point that I'm like, no, don't wash my clothes, No, don't do this, don't rearrange my furniture, don't, don't don't don't break all my wine glasses at the very least, and if you're gonna break them, buy me some more. How about that is that? No, we have a great relationship as well, but it's just like,

I don't know, it's just different. It's it's different when you have a mother in law versus your own mom, because you and your mother have been with each other the whole time, So your mom is not going to take something personal that my mother knows. Sometimes like girl and not in the mood, don't start with me today,

just you know, kind of chill out, chill out. But your mother in law, you kind of feel like, can I really like, I don't want her to take it the wrong way, So chill We have We have some friends of ours that the husband and wife team of course, and the wife pretty much put like a time constraint on like how long the in laws can come over, so like her mother in law can only visit six weeks out of the year, and they can't be like combined,

they have to be like spread out. And I was just kind of like, well, if that works for y'all, that would not work in my house. If that works for y'all. And I was just kind of like, oh and if I was like what, Kate could never tell me that mama has a cap on the number of times she comes or how long she can spend. Then it's like, okay, so when your mom comes, what are you gonna do? Are you going to allow your husband like, Okay,

she's been here for eight hours. Apparently her and her mom are a little bit strange, so she doesn't even understand the relationship between like a mom wanting to come and be involved. So it was it was a touchy situation because we kind of got in the middle of like a just like a debate they were having, and what was kind of like, you know what it gets, It gets kind of awkward when you're married, friends and having conversations and you're just like, well, this is getting

weird real fast. Okay, well I'm gonna we're gonna, We're gonna girl. Oh look at it. It's the kids calling like one of those situations. So yeah, that can. That can probably that's gonna be interesting to see as it girls. But of course with my boys, I want to be to have a relationship where they would feel comfortable saying, hey, my mom is here. She's she's always here when we need her, you know, much like what my mom does, like just just what where our investment is is in

our families, you know what I mean. And I'm like, if I can't be there, I need my mom to be there. She's like the next best thing to me, you know what I'm saying. So rounding out our conversation.

Of course I have to touch on because this is always like the thing we get asked the most, having multiple children and of course having husbands, how do you make time for your husband and and for the relationship side of things, because you know, we talk about having the baby, then getting yourself back in order, getting yourself back in shape for yourself, getting your yourself back in shape for your spouse, which I believe is a thing because I'm like who he fell in love with and

the way we created these babies, and the person he approached to have these babies with. I'd like to at least give him that person back at some point. So how do you and Keith work around, um, just maintaining your relationship in the hysteria and craziness that is five kids? So the great thing now that the kids are back in school, we just have the one at home, which is real and she's pretty go well, she's pretty good

with the flow at Keith. I'm not even gonna lie, she's not going with the flow with me, but um, creating that time nap time, will have a little time to go, or letting her go to one of my friend's house or whatever like that to get the lunch dates in dinner dates are cool because of course we have teenagers, so we're like Friday night, Wednesday night, whatever night, we're gonna be out, like about sending up time where it's just us, even like traveling, like we'll take little

many vacations with just each other because that's that's a part of it. I feel like you have to reconnect because on that end, guys don't feel like after you have kids are like, oh you look good, Like I feel like they're just like, oh you look good, you look great. You look at this, and you're like and then so you're like, no, I don't you say we

can't even fit my clothes. Girl, if it pray to devouts still chasing me down, I'm like, bro, there's already a baby in there we were trying to do and it's and it's true because there I feel like they just don't have an off switch. It's just they do switch. They just see asks and they're just like, let me just I just gotta touch ask. And then you're just like all that stuff and it's like, what's going on.

That's that's literally what we do with all day, all wait, all day, but loky, it's look, it's cute, it's cute, it's real cute, especially in the kitchen, and then you just get a little that's cute right, and it makes you feel like, Okay, I still got it, even at eight months pregnant, or even at four months postpardon when you still don't feel like yourself. But it's just also as women, I get it, like it is internally we're just like, man, I'm not at my best right now

creating time, creating time. That's creating time and scheduling it, planning it and sticking to it. That's the thing. Like if anything pops up, we're like, no, remember we have non negotiable we're gonna do this, and not talking about work when we are on We're like, nothing about work. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to see it. I don't want to I don't I want to clock out like you're clocked out. So I don't

realize that about us too. We have that also similar Let's which makes sense that why you were such a perfect guest for today, not just for girl talk, but because we have a lot of similarities. That and that working together with your spouse can be a whole another can of worms. It can a whole another can of worms, because it's like, who am I talking to? Am I talking to a devout? The husband develop the father devlop, my business partner, um developed, my mentor because he's trying

to help me, like do something. And then I have to almost check myself sometimes with like how I'm talking to each person because it could end up in an argument or a fight. Or it's like he's the kind of person that doesn't clock out like ever. He's always on, He's always going, and that's something we have to always work at. When you talk about scheduling in time, that's something that I have to kind of be on him about and say, you know what, now is not work time?

You know. For him, it's just like, well, you know, I can't turn off because I'm the provider and he takes pride in being the provider and the family, and I think, which is fine about similarity as well, to the point that I'll just like if we're at dinner and he's like, oh, did you send DZ, I'm like, uh no, no, not talking about that, talking about that, and he's like but but, and I'm like, but, but, but, but do you see where we're at? Do you see

is there a computer in front of my face? I know I got my phone and I can do it, but we're not doing that right now. We're eating down, We're gonna have this drink. Girl, that would be me. I'd be like, I just booked the ticket to go on a trip for the weekend. He be like, that's it. I'll just talk to our manager and look at the schedule like, oh, there's nothing going on in those days. We're gonna clock out what we're going to go. But

that's what we need and that's what we need. And I feel like that's the balance too, because Keith has said that he was like Okay, I feel like you're the one who's kind of like okay, cool, cool, collected until something like blows up. Like Keith is like, if it's not if it's not perfect, it's just not it's not happening, it's not existent, And I'm like things are not going to be perfect all the time, so let's just go and find a way to pivot. Yep. I

think it's a football life to coming from that. It's like they have yeah that they just kind of like they can't maneuver from that. Sometimes so and in walks us saving the day and just saying, you know, we need some time. We put our capes on and we make it happy for them, you know what I mean? So what do you have to be? What do you have to say to people who say, you know what, you got too many damn kids? Have you ever gotten that? Like someone just look at you and be like so

many kids? About that? Mind your business and your ovaries? Why I stay over here in my mind that part exactly, And as long as we're not making any more at this point, because I think you're done, is it fair to say I believe I am finished? Has Keith going back in the middle of the question, did he go back in to get his semen tested? That's what he wants. Does he have any sem He has not, And he's been like, oh, you've been working out. I'm like, back up, Oh,

so the body is back in order. So he's like yeah, He's like, hey, look, oh you look good. Let me I'm like, are you on any birth control? No? But I'm not having any more kids. I'm not I'm not like this. I'm like the Heisman, like when it comes to, I'm like, and then since he's like at the point where you know, like our kids when they were younger, they all slept in their own own, their own they had their own schedule whatever. We never allowed them in our bed with us. That was like our time. Make

sure they go to bed at eight o'clock. So we have and she got my kids. Yea, yeah, you're going to bed at eight. And still now I'll tell them like they're teenager and I'm like, it's nine o'clock. Y'all got a wine, dawn or going to basement. So um. With that being said, it's like Keith kind of just whatever, yeah, I heard it. Whatever. He get checked out. She's over here running dirty, y'all. So I'm not having any more kids. We talked about that even though it's riding dirty. I

want to see your riding dirty. Want to see your riding dirty, not writing. I mean, depends on what you am, but you know what I am. But it's not going well. Do you feel like it's well? I mean, I guess because the discussion now is like, Okaycautine, You've had three almost four children. I feel like I've done my fair share. I've done my share of birth control over the years.

Now it's your turn, brow because the same I don't like any We talked about the I U. D last season and how that just jacked up everything for me in general, with my mood, my libido, everything. So I'm like at this point, I'm like, it's on you, bro, like snippitty snippity, I mean, and get get checked. If you do, please go be on them to the cup. Get I'm tested. Could there be one or two they want to they want to be Maybe we'll send him

and Keith together. Keith can go for his check up and then can go for his his procedure, and then it could be a thing where they're just like bonding over it. They can have lunch after and it could be a whole day out. They act like they literally can't do nothing afterwards. So we had whole babies and be up walking doing doing stuff the next day and they'd be like, oh my god, so funny. Alright, girl, so listen at I did as podcast. So we do. Um. I forgot where we were for a second. I felt

like a girl chat. It felt like it was just me and her here. I forgot there's a microphone. I've got you all we're listening. Oh my god. So we're gonna come back because we have a segment call listener letters, and people write into us and they want all the advice. Um, And though we don't claim to be experts, I say, if I can get you on my little two sins and it helps, then all the better. So that would be very interested to see what they have to say.

And if you don't mind sticking around, we can do some listener letters together. I'm leaving, no girl, you're saying you're definitely staying. So we're gonna take a quick breaky'all, and we're gonna move into listener letters after we get into some ads. All right, We're back for listener letters, which Devel always says is my favorite portion because I'd be nosy and I want to be in people's business. I can't be in y'all business if y'all don't write

to me. Okay. So that's the way I see it. Okay, So today me and Bean, I'm gonna be all up in your business. So here's the first one. All right, So here's a little story for um. I first want to thank you guys for making this podcast. It's been such a help, You're welcome. I'm a twenty six year old woman, and I've noticed that one point at one point, you guys continually bring up finding your purpose and not

relying on others to make you feel fulfilled. I've heard this from a number of people in my life as well. The question is how everyone seems to have some idea of what they want their future to look like or where they want their careers to go, and I'm just stuck. My friends and colleagues have these grandiose plans for their careers, and I feel like I'm just along for the ride.

I've considered how I'd like to climb the corporate ladder and what I'd like people to say or think about me when I'm gone, but there is nothing that makes me happy. Wow. I don't feel the need to be the big boss or the change maker of my industry, and that feels like the only form of passion that's out there. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the work that I do, but it doesn't spark a passion in me. How do I find my passion? What advice do you have for this good? Since she's twenty six,

she's still young. Um, still trying to figure things out. I mean, did you know you're passionate? Because I know, I sure as hell didn't mean I knew what I was passionate about, which was many things. We see. I'm a Jim Nabby like okay, So I feel like UM, with that being said, she probably needs to go into self discovery and see what she really enjoys and what she really likes or what she's really familiar with. For me,

it was like real estate. I come from a family that did real estate, had their own real estate business, did a lot of rehabs, did a lot of subdivisions, so quite naturally, that was what I did and what I still do. UM, So I think that that would be a good basis to start is self discovery. See what you like and it doesn't. I feel like a lot of people get caught up with thinking it might just be one thing. It might not be just one thing.

You might have many interests. And I don't have a problem with um having multiple businesses as long as you are able to handle that, or working for someone. She says she doesn't. She just wants to be incorporate American. Works for someone that's good. That's good too. I mean, she's twenty six. You're young. Why do people have to put so much pressure to think that you have to have all figured out at twenty six. You're not gonna have it figured out. You're not gonna have it figured

all out at thirty. Some people do and some people don't. But me, I personally like even at thirty five, I was kind of like, um, thirty five, what do I want to do now? Right? Five? Like I was waking all out. You think about that, the age, You're just like, oh my god, the age, the number, this is where I am. I supposed to be here, You should be

here doing this, this, this, this that, and um. More so focused on the things that you have already that you've already been able to accomplish, and focus more on that versus what you don't have or what you want to be like. And who says what, because let's be real, people are gonna say what they want to say. They're talking about just literally just said that in our last episode. He was just like Jesus said, haters, Jesus scrutinized him.

So yeah, it's really though. Yeah, And I think also not comparing your successes to the others around exactly because they may have had things figured out by now. That doesn't mean that you have to per se And I might not have it figured out. You just don't know. That's a fact. It could be smokes and merracists. It

could be a facif you never know. But yeah, I mean at twenty six, I want to say that even now at thirty something years old, I'm still kind of re evaluating what it is I want to do because at different phases in your life, you're evolving and you're changing, and it may not be any one thing like you said that you're passionate about. So I say, give yourself a little graces. You still have some time to figure

things out. And then I'm not sure how much you're out there trying different things, but you may want to try different things to see, Okay, if your excitement is not going to be um in your career and that's not going to be your passionate because I don't think passion is anonymous with career. Per se. It maybe your life's work. It maybe you volunteering, you're taking up some kind of charity work, you're working with children. She didn't

want to be a world changer either. Oh, you don't want to be all She doesn't want to be a world changer. So you just want to say, we don't know what you want to do. Girl, girl, girl, I don't know. We don't know what to tell you don't know, we don't know. We can't tell you what to do. We can't tell you what we can just give you some advice. So she don't want to change the world. So if you just want to be out there kind of just existing, maybe it'll find you at some point.

How about that, Maybe your passion will find you one of these days you never know, or it could be your passion that you don't know is maybe eventually when you get married having children. So people are passionate about motherhood or parenthood passion. I'm still passionate about motherhood. I think that's like my stas the number one job. It's the best hood, to be best hood, the best hood. So good luck to you since as you figure that out.

But don't put yourself on any time restraints either, because we always tend to have this mental checklist in our head of like ages that we're supposed to be correlating to having things particularly done or started. And I feel like sometimes you have checked that list and just ride the wave. Can you figure it out? Stress yourself out, give yourself anxiety all type and stuff we need that. We don't need that, all right. Number two. I just had my fiftieth birthday in May gem and I woo

oh yeah girl, let's see. And I have a thing for Geminis Bianca and another one of my best friends, Christina Geminis too. So um, I'm recently divorced after sixteen years. He cheated the entire time. Oh, I have four kids, thirty one, twenty twelve, and seven. No idea what I was thinking. The age gaps, all right, I mean it happened though. Um anyway, I feel like I'm ready to get back out in date. But my problem is I don't like men my age. I'm only attracted to men

between thirty to forty ish. You a cougar, real, right, real real? I do not look my age, so I'm often approached by younger men as well. This concerns me because my ex husband was eleven years younger than me, and I wonder if this could be why we didn't make it. I've tried older men and think about them interests me. They could be fine. As hell and still nothing. What's wrong with me? I don't know, it's always It's always been this way, and I don't know why, but

I know I like it. Should I continue to try and date older men or just be true to myself and stick with the young bucks girl? Girl? What do you well? She said? I mean, she said, she just celebrated her fiftieth birthday and she doesn't look fifty? What you look like? Because I mean, you know, I'm not going to to my own horn, but I'm want to say, as I'm approaching forty, I feel like, you know, what

exactly does that look like? Anymore? We think about like what four year olds look like in our parents generation versus now they were looking and I'm still trying to I think I could still I could still pull me a little like Crown. Yeah, a little early thirties, late twenties guy, if I needed to, you know what I mean. So I think that I think that maybe you should start to look for connections with people personality wise too,

Like you see, they look good. It's like, Okay, do we have anything in common or are we just looking at age? Because it's ounds like that you are just looking at age because you said they could be fine, and you're still like, I don't know about them, So what is it? Is it the age that's intriguing you? It must be right, it seems like you have it, because then it does it feel weird to you that you have a thirty one year old child but you're dating year old or a possible thirty something, so then

you're thirty one year old. Gotta be like, is my mom gonna date all my friends when I bring him over here? Then is he gonna getting nervy or she getting nervous? Like wait a second, maybe I shouldn't take you all over to my mama. She might get she might just get you for sure. So yeah, I mean, at this point, I feel like, having been married for sixteen years, you're now fifty. I feel like and he was cheating the entire time. I feel like, just do you what does that you are you into? I'm not

saying you're Russian because you didn't say that. You you said you wanted to get back dating. So dating is cool. Dating is cool. I feel like go ahead and just dating dabble, you know, just you know, test the appetizers out there, see the young bucks. And she's trying to see she's asking. She continued to stick with dating guys older.

I mean, if you're not attracted to older men, then that's just an right there because maybe you just don't worry about their age at first, just don't even ask them. Will make sure they're legal, and I would think to at fifty something. If you're dating somebody like thirty to forty, you also have to make sure like does this person want children? Is they're like, like, what is the intentions? You should be deliberate with what you're putting out there.

What's the intention for you? Guys? Is that that you're just dating to have a good time and have you know a companion or are you dating with a purpose for something else? Because you also don't want to be that older woman that eventually this thirty something your role is like I want kids and you're like, I'm pushing sixty. My eggs are like depleted or fried? Yeah, they so be purposeful with how you're approaching it. But I say,

stick to what you what you like. If you like a guy that airs on the younger side, then go for it. Why not, especially if you can pay them, girl, go for you good creative, good for you. UM, I would say, yeah, stick with the young ones if you if you like that sort of thing, but then don't put too much emphasis on age, Like if you start to connect, look for the connection. Look for the connection.

You might learn that you start to like something a little bit older, a little bit more seasoned, a little bit you know, because that is true with the kids situation. What are you gonna do if they want to have kids and you're beyond kid point or you don't want anymore. That's a fact. There you go. I hope that helps you out today. And if you want to be featured is one of our listener letters. Be sure to email

us at dead as Advice at gmail dot com. Alright, Banca, So at the end of every episode, before we leave, we have something called the Moment of Truth where it just pretty much like sums up the entire episode, Like, what's the little takeaway that people can take from this episode? Um, based off of everything we said, because we spoke about all the things. We spoke about having multiple children, juggling that husband's style, stepping and parenting accordingly. So what's a

little tidbit that you can leave the listeners today? Little tidbit guys. I don't know. Basically, just to you know, try to do you, try to do you. That's it because when you're a mother, you put a lot of emphasis and time into your children. When you're married, your husband, if you're with someone, your partner. So I would say for moms out there, to take that extra time and if it's an hour, you can do it. You can

do anything for an hour. So I would just say take that extra time that you need, meditate, work out, do something that you enjoy, go to home goods, got to target. That's it. I like that. I like that. Sometimes Bianca I will call together. We're just like, hey, let's go to Sam'. That's my moment of truth. If you ever need a moment, get you a friend and go to the store and get you that's your friend. Gets you a Bianca in your life who you can sit with, you can chat, you can have girl talk,

no judgment anytime. We're just down for each other. Board, make a charcuterie board. Why when I could drink wine. I can't wait, actually a mock tail tail. Yeah, I can't wait to just be back where I could just really enjoy and partake in the spirits. That's one more month. Yeah, he's over here, over here, trying to kick his way out in the meantime. And mine is get you a friend, Get you a friend, especially if you have mad kids that you can just say what you know, what you

got mad kids, I got mad kids. Let's get all these kids together and we could just sit and make an evening out of it. They'll entertain each other and take up stairs, take the downstairs, kick them out, kick that kids out. That's the take. That's it. While you're doing that, be sure to follow us on social media at dead Ass the podcast. I'm Cadeen, I am, And of course you can follow Heavy who's not here today. He's probably keep somewhere doing something. Hopefully they're arranging that

vasectomy appointment. Maybe I am developed follow him and see what he says. And if you're listening to Apple podcasts, be sure to rate, review, and subscribe. Dead Ass Did it as dead Ass is a production of I Heart Media podcast Network and is produced by Dinorapinia and Triple Follow the podcast on social media at dead as the Podcasts and never miss a Thing