A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

I make you need therapy most days. Wow. Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married, Yes, sir, we are. We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of life's most taboo topics, things most folks don't want to talk about through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass is a term that we say every day. So when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. We bother to a whole new level.

Dead ass starts right now. I'm gonna take you guys back to I think it was two thousand and I know it was two thousand and eighteen. Yes, Kadeen and I were in Ceview Park. Um, this was summer of two eighteen. We had started to kind of grow a little bit in social media. Um I had about Big Caves was born. I had about two hundred and something thousand followers. I think you had about fifty some thousand followers at the time. And we were walking through Cevil Park.

Your brother was coming to take pictures and I was like, yo, baby, like, you know, you look great, Like it's the summertime you got you got your body back, and you was like, I'm feeling good. So we took a picture and in the picture, Kadeen was in the foreground and in the background it's me holding Cairo's hand. I had cats in my arms and I had Jackson in my other hand, and you were in the front with your hand on

your hip and an empowering pose. And I posted a picture and the caption on the picture was about me being proud of you and what you've been able to accomplish having these three kids and getting back in front of camera and doing well and blah blah blah blah blah.

And there were a couple of comments that turned into a lot of comments when a couple of people felt like, I don't know why the black Man has to be in the back of the picture holding the baby, like why he can't be in the front, And of course people started to interject their thoughts and ideas, and it became a thing at the bottom of the picture, and it no longer became about the empowerment of you, but about why de Voo had to be in the back

holding the kids. And I remember in that moment realizing like, wow, I didn't think that that picture was going to evoke that type of reaction from people. But I learned my lesson, and they probably bypassed the caption yes, where you were trying to empower me. But again, it's people's idea of looking at a picture and what that means. Yes, interesting, sounds familiar. Something's happening recently. Something happened recently, I'll talk

about it for sure. So this karaoke is dedicated to some of the comments that I saw when we were looking at the photo of Rihanna and Asap Rocky and their son right after the Super Bowl came out, and one of the comments that came out was says, who cares, that's just her baby daddy, that's not even her husband. So this song is dedicated to that comment, that's just my baby daddy, that's just my baby daddy. Oh, that

just my baby daddy, My baby daddy. First and foremost, I want to say this, everybody doesn't believe in marriage. So just because two people aren't married, just giving them the title of that's just the baby daddy, is your idea of what that is? That's trifling? This out right, and that's it's fucked up, to be honest, because I know some good partnerships where people are not married who are doing way better than people who are actually married.

Amazing cope and living in a very toxic household as marriage people. So marriage is not the aspiration for many so and it's not the aspiration for everyone. So sometimes people choose that their lifestyle is going to be this one Um. That was that comment, because to me, that was the funniest comment was that who cares where he is? That's just her baby daddy. It's not like that's her husband. And I was like, wow, that's really your thought process

about the whole thing. That's kind of messed up. But like I said in the beginning, what you feel about a picture says a lot more about you than it does about the people in the picture. So we're gonna take a quick break. Okay, we're gonna get back, get back. I want to ask you a couple of questions because you know, you think about Hollywood and what's being masculation. Also, Jonathan Major's pictures a cover. So yeah, let's unpack some

of That'll be interested to know what you think. Click around, y'all. So we're back all right now. So we're talking the emasculation of the black man. Yeah, particularly in Hollywood. What that looks like? So many different opinions floating around out there. You know, the social media world gets very you know, convoluted,

very quickly the minute stuff like this comes out. But going back to your story time and thinking about that moment, you know, I know that you, as my husband who's very secure in your manhood, in your masculinity, and who you are as the leader, protector, provider of our household.

I think in that security that you have, in that confidence that you have, you're always okay putting me in the forefront, yes, and not feeling a way about that because you feel like, Okay, my wife, within her own right, can do her own things. But that used to showcase her or highlight her or celebrate her in this moment. Yes, And I'm very much a father, very much an active father, Yes,

very much an active husband. So if I have all my boys that I'm juggling and we're all standing behind my wife, it's also a protection thing that we have, right. You think about the protect the queen that we've enacted with the boys, and I don't go anywhere even if the val is not around, I don't go anywhere without them boy is being around. What They're going to support me and they're gonna protect me. And that's the imagery

that we choose to put forward. Yes, um. That shows a reflection in our family that moment, in that moment, right. But there's also two the waymaker cover that we did recently, yes, right um. And you can explain the position of the family and that because people could have said the same thing that they're saying about the Rihanna picture, not necessarily similarly, we made very clear choices with that, because art is about choices, of course, and how we want the picture

to be received. Well, what I'm thinking of, though, the reason I say like Rihanna's picture is because in that image, right, she's in the forefront. But it's not the same, So go ahead and unpack that picture for us then maybe like why the positioning was important for you in that shot. So in that moment, and this is what I think people forget about art. Right, art is about moments. Right art doesn't encompass your whole family, your whole life all

the time in one picture. Art is about the moment. In that moment and see view Park, I was so very proud of you because you had just delivered our third child at home in the water. You had just made a decision that you were going to get back in front of the camera. And for me, in that moment, it was, this is about Codeine. Let me empower her.

I got the kids at this point because for the first part of our marriage, you were having babies and I was in the forefront right when I was playing football. I was in the forefront, when I was doing MSG varsity and was opening up the gym and doing all the things with the business. I was in the forefront and you supported me. So for me in this moment, it was let me support my wife and empower her, putting her in the forefront and make it so and make it very clear that she is not the caretaker

in this moment. I am the caretaker. She gonna go and be about her business. That was my choice in that moment. That didn't encompass our whole family. But what I did notice when I was reading a lot of them the comments where some men and some women were just like, I don't know why every time we showed a black family, and this was twenty eighteen, a lot of people didn't know us. Why the black man has to be in the back and the black woman always has to be in the front. Why do we always

emasculate black men? And what it showed me in that moment was whow A lot of people are triggered by what they go through and what they see, not even listening or reading the caption, not seeing what we're trying to encompass in that moment. They're they're trying to say, this picture embodies their whole family all the time. And I want to take that to Ashap and Rihanna. People have asked me what do I think about the cover.

I personally thought it was great. Rihanna's coming out of retirement, she just had his baby, She's doing the Super Bowl, she's a billionaire. When I first saw the cover, all I thought was, Wow, she took a break to be home with her family, build the family, create the family, because women are the vessel of life. Now she's stepping back into the forefront. When I saw a step, I'm like, yo, he's the father holding it, holding it down so his wife can go do her thing. But we're not married, right,

not married, But it's his child's mother can go. And she's pregnant again now, so they're gonna have another child's mother. They're in a relationship. Yeah, that's that's you can say, right, so, and I don't we don't know because they're not public. We don't know if they're engaged or if they're planning nuptials. We really don't know. But when I saw the picture,

I felt like, oh shit, that's dope. And then the comment started to come out right, and one of my home girls, Tiffany, was just like yo, like why does everything has to be about emasculating the black man? And what I was trying to explain to her was that other people's opinions about the picture are their opinions, and oftentime they're triggered by their own personal experiences. So if another man sees that and he feels like this is an asculation agenda, that's what he feels. That's how the

picture made him feel. When you present art to the world, there's going to be different opinions. What we have to stop doing is expecting other people to agree with how that art is supposed to make us feel. That man had that opinion about Asappan and Rihanna, that's his opinion. It's not my job to convince him that his opinion

is wrong. That's how it made him feel. What I can only do is tell him what I saw based on my opinion, and then we talk about it and be like, oh, I learned this from you, or you learned this from me, or we can agree to disagree. But it doesn't have to be a thing where I now have to convince everybody else that my opinion is the most valid. It's just trying to understand how people

come up with those opinions. And the reason why I wanted to talk about that first before we get into the waymaker is because when it was presented to me to do the cover, and that's to do the family issue of the cover, we were very deliberate about how we wanted to represent our family, right, and you're transition that we did okay right. And the only reason why I'm bringing this up is because I want to talk about the artistic aspect of how we decide to do

all right, because people have to understand too. With photo shoots, typically there is not they don't just go to the shoot and then you know, just act as if things happen on the spot. A lot of things are very well thought out. There's mood boards, there's discussion, what's the angle that we're trying to say? What are we trying

to evoke here? Right? A lot of that goes into a photo shoots Yes, lights, yes, wardrobe, everything, everything, everything, mood, all of that because it can completely change the whole entire image. So that was important for us with the with the waymakers shoes Yes, And we took several different pictures and I felt all the pictures told a different story. And the biggest thing was and that's what people don't realize is how important makeup, lighting and fashion is with photography.

So the picture we selected for a wayfaren. The reason why I want to use this as an example is because I can only tell you what we went through. We can't tell y'all what and how they chose, but I can tell you how we chose you I'll cover We started with wardrobe and a mood board what we wanted to build out. Right. After you build out the right wardrobe, then it's hair, hair and makeup, and then it's lighting. Then it's outside. We have to find a background. Right,

So we chose the big dress for Codein. We chose the tuxedo for me all the boys. And the reason why we chose those because we wanted to be an elevated version of Brooklyn, so we wanted it to be still the Brooklyn Ellison, So we chose the stoop. We got the stop in Brooklyn, and the boys were all

going to be in an elevated version of casual wear. Right, and my dress, I was really trying to go for something different, Right, did you guys usually see me in something or form fitting and you know, blitz and glam. But I was trying to do something a little bit more. I can't say subtle, because the dress was a big touble at all subtle about it. It was the different style, a different tape on Codein. Right, So we took a

whole bunch of different photos. One had Codeine at the bottom so they can see the dress go through the bottom, and then I was at the top, and then all the boys were at the top of the stairs. But then we were kind of like, and does this really represent our family? Looks disconnected. So then we landed on Codeine being in the middle one because it showed the full dress and all the tooling. Two she was surrounded by all of the men in her life for protection.

And three I was at the top of the stair holding our youngest child, which in our minds showed the full structure of our family. The Vale is the leader. I'm the leader, but Codein is the queen. Protect the queen. She was the centerpiece of the photo. So what we decided. I sat down with Josh and Matt and we were like, yo, what do you think about this photo? I said, it

says a lot because we did that. We're like, what does this photo say that about every single photo that was taken, and what does it say in this moment? Because this is the moment and in our eyes, this is what the photo said. The val is holding the youngest in a position of protection. He is slightly behind Codein in a position of protection, but he's at the top of the stairs. Codein is the centerpiece of the family. She's the only woman. She's in the middle for protect

but she's also the centerpiece. So you have the leader and you have the centerpiece. That's how we sat down and figured out this would be the best way to represent our family in this moment, this moment. Now, that does not mean that if Cadeen books a daytime talk show and she's about to go on a world tour for speaking engagement and has a book coming out, and if way Maker asks us to do another cover, Codein is not going to be in the front holding my

hand with me holding the kids. Because in that moment, it's all about Codein. And that's what I think people are missing about the ASAP and Rihanna. Right, it wasn't just a regular family shoot on a random wasn't It wasn't that to the baby photo shoot either. No, it wasn't about the baby. It wasn't about a SAP. It was about Rihanna being introduced back into society as now a billionaire, but also just doing the Super Bowl and saying, hey, I'm about to get back into what I normally do.

So what I think people are missing is the artist aspect of what photos mean. But also in the moment. Don't take away the moment. No one says this is our family structure and this is what it represents all the time. This is the moment. But I'm also not going to discredit how people feel when they see the picture because it's art. Art is supposed to make you feel away if you're a man, and particularly a black man.

And the reason why I say black man is because historically black men have not been held in a position of power when it comes to white publications. Neither have black women. But we are living in a time of women empowerment and we see more black women being honored and praised in these situations, and I feel like a lot of black men feel like, when is it going to be our turn? And I will say this, I've had this argument with a lot of my colleagues about

things that they see on Instagram and social media. You tend to see what you search. So if you search the same stuff over and over again, and it's pictures in video of black men being emasculated or denigrated, that's what you're going to see. I mean, anybody can find supporting evidence for any whatever their argument is exactly, and that's my point. My point is social media has made it where you constantly search one thing, it gets fed to your phone. So then your reality, your reality becomes

what you searched. You understand what I'm saying. So rather than searching how many black men have been emasculated, or the denigration of black men, or the denigration of black families, how about we start searching the empowerment and start looking for the reasons we should be proud so that those can be fed to our phone so we can get out of this narrative that it's only happening in this

one moment, because that's just not true. You said that, You just said that you don't feel like black men have ever been viewed in a position of power in publications, right in European based publication, because I'm about to say, we probably had some black men on some covers. You have Jonathan Majors for example, absolutely Ebony recently, but that's

not a European publication. Ebony is a Black public But what I'm saying is when we talk about the black family in publications, um typically it's the black man is not celebrated in European publications with the black family. It's not. And I'll give you an example. Um, if you follow sports, it is well known that the black single mom narrative in sports is celebrated. They talk about Lebron's mom all

the time, they talk about KDE's mom. But then when you have a guy like LaVar Ball right who's demonstrative and wants to make sure his sons get the best, he's demonized, right and for people who'd be like, oh, well, LaVar Ball is crazy. When Archie Manning was trying to control everything about his son's being drafted in and was refusing for the Chargers to draft, uh no, it wasn't. It was Eli Manning. It was Archie Manning. Archie Manning is but he was trying to control where Eli Manning

got drafted. No one said that he was overstepping. It was Wow, this is a dad who's trying to do the best there for his kids. You know, when when King Richard Richard Williams was trying to make sure that his daughters were protected and did things the way he wanted, he was demonized. You know, so I feel like there is a long history of black men in powerful positions who try to lead for their families get demonized for

being what they want to be for their families. Well what about being so in terms of being there for their families in the position that they want to be. Who's to say that a SAP is not perfectly okay holding out a fort with the baby, changing diapers and all that while his woman is out there making her moves. Again, I feel that, you know, and I think nobody even investigates if that was even a discussion that they might

have had. Like, he looked like he was very much enjoying her Super Bowl performance from the sidelines, not trying to make it about him either, Right, he just seemed like he was enjoying the show like everybody else, supporting his woman. Well, why can't that be the case? I can tell you this, that picture did not get to publication without the approval of Rihanna and ASAP. Like, no one is going to just allow their likeness to be used without saying I didn't proof, especially Rihanna, She was

probably all up in that. So clearly they're both okay with not only the picture but the dynamic of how their family exists and is being presented to the world in this moment, which is fine, you know what I'm saying, which I think is perfectly fine, but I think people forget about the moment that and that to me, I want if you walk away from anything from this podcast, understand that we're talking about the moment, right, but we

have to stop doing as consumers of content. Is taking a picture and saying that this picture represents everything in this totality means it represents the black family and it

represents the black family in eternity. It's not this picture represents Rihanna and Asap in their child in that moment, because there could be another photo that comes out of them on another cover which is completely different in a couple of months, you know what I'm saying, And that that leads me to also the Jonathan Major's cover, right, Eban did to cover with Jonathan Majors. I don't know who saw it, but Valentine's Day, February and it was

one way. He had the gene the gene the hygiene boots with the coat sitting on the back of the couch and he had his legs crossed in his face. I think he's poking his lips. There was also the Valentine's Day one with the roses and all. Yes, I mean, I guess it was one of those things where beauties in the either beholder right. Personally, for me, that image didn't do it for which one the roses or yeah, the roses with the box? No, no, you like the

entire shoot. To me personally, I was just kind of like, you know, okay, but did you feel like he was being immasculated? That's the thing. I didn't feel like it was an emasculation thing. I just felt like it was, in my eyes, not styled in a way that I thought was attractive. You know, um, I've seen him look better in better shoots. I've seen him portrayed, you know, um more in a more masculine way. Yeah, And it

wasn't even a masculine feminine thing. I just didn't find it sexy, if that's what they were going for, like sex symbol on the cover of Ebony magazine holding the roses. It just didn't read like that to me. And I think that he's, you know, an attractive guy, and he's doing a lot of things in Hollywood and all that. But the emasculation part. I didn't necessarily see that. I just felt like that artistically was what they wanted to do.

And he of course had to sign off on that as well too, right because he said no covers go to print unless said just what I wanted. Proves it absolutely, you know, but you, as a black man in Hollywood, is sending how do you feel about that? Well, to me, I'm not into fashion like that, like y'all know. With me, I'm wear the same T shirt every day, i wear the same sweatpant. So I'm not hit on what's fashionable

and what's not fashionable. Like I see things and to me, sometimes things are just not fashionable or what I would wear. I'm from Brooklyn, I grew up in the nineties. I would wear Tim's jeans, bootcut gems. You know what I'm saying like that, which is to me, But I've also learned through my my styling team shout out to shall

Read that you have to change things up. Yeah, you know what I'm saying, as and evolved as a person, unless you want to get uck as that old man who still wears the same clothes that you wore when you were in high school and to me. Also, fashion is always not about masculine feminine. For example, the whole wearing a mask, big baggy clothes with the holes in it, with the big boots thing, I don't think that's a masculine feminine thing. To me, that's just not what I

want to wear. But it's fashionable. People are wearing these big red shoes that look like legos and people think it's fashionable. I just I'm not into fashion like that. But when it comes to the whole emasculation of a person through one pot, like one photo, I think that's bullshit. Right,

And I'll give you an example. Kevin Stage posted a video talking about all of the hyper masculine things that that Jonathan Major's has been in, right, and this year alone, and this year alone, He's played a fire pilot, He's played a cowboy, he's been a boxer, he's been Kang, the biggest emperor in Marvel, and he didn't something else. He was a villain and he played some I forgot with the other one he played in. But long story short,

he was a boxer. Long story short, Jonathan Majors has been hyper masculine for the better part of the last five years. He's done mad photo shoot, Yes, mad photos. But here it is, there's one photo shoot, and now the narrative behind this photo shoot is the emasculation of Jonathan Majors. And it's like, are we not going to talk about the other ninety nine thousand pieces of content that is out there, but just because you will disagree with this one photo. Now it's this whole theory that

they're trying to emasculate him. People once again are forgetting about the time, like this is what he chose to do in this moment, right. Plus, if we're being honest, right, I look at some of the stuff that he's wore, right or is wearing, and I go back to the seventies, some of the most masculine histories, going back some of

the most masculine men in history. For example, I turn no, no, not Prince Ike Turner wore wigs with a bob eyeliner, that bank he had eyeliner, super super tight shorts, tight leather pants, heels with platform shoes, suede shirts, net netted fitted shirts with his chest out and was fucking mad bitches. And the Chris Why I say that is because fashion cannot determine your masculinity. I don't say what I'm saying, fashion, clothing, colors, all that. I can't. It can't determine it can't determine

your your masculinity. For example, Russell Westbrook, Right, they got on Russell Westbrook because he wore killed. They got on him because sometimes he wears clothes that are super fitted or may have his chest out in a low V cut, and they're just like, why is Russell. I guarantee you know, body who puts in these comments and Russell Westbrook is feminine will go up to Russell Westbrook in his face

and say that's him. The man is sixty three, I think two hundred and ten pounds, chiseled, right, and he's from Oakland. I believe he's from Oakland somewhere in California. And they're not gonna roll up on him. But social media makes it easy for people to just throw out opinions and hide behind keyboards. And the greater social media becomes, the harder it is for us to decipher whose opinions

matter and whose opinions don't. And my biggest thing is, before you discredit anybody's opinions, how about we just take a chance to look at who's giving the opinion and where their opinion may be coming from. That's a fact because then when I even think about it, so me from my life experience and how we exist within our family. Thinking back to that photo of us in the park and seeing that, I just know it's a moment where a whole like my husband choose to celebrate me in

this moment. He knows that I'm trying to get back out there and just had two kids back to back me. Now our family of one that wasn't supposed to be three in this apartment, it is now three in this apartment. There were so many things going on, so you in that moment, chose to celebrate me. So when I see the Rihanna Asap cover, my first thing isn't to think, damn, Rihanna is like pulling him behind like a little child. She has two children like and he's in the background.

My thing was, oh, shoot, like yeah, we're celebrating Rihanna in this moment, because you know, she's doing big things. Now this is the first time coming back out and he's holding down the four at home because he knows the importance attacking the family close by like those are those are the narratives and the images that's that's coming to me because that's my life experience exactly. So it's

literally a direct correlation between the two. And then I think some people are just in general upset about everything and they're trying to always pick something apart and that's what they're gonna do. But but that's why I also feel like you can't discredit people's opinions because it's different than yours. Right, Me and Trouble just had about an hour long discussion about this whole thing, and it gets heated because we both have our opinions based on our

viewpoint in life, but also our life experience. Right, So what you don't do is you don't discredit someone's opinion by saying you're wrong. You listen and say, you know what, I can see where you're coming from because this is what you've experienced. This art made me feel a way because of what I experienced. That's when you begin to create like full natural dialogue that creates a greater level of thinking, when you can look at someone who's experienced

something different from you, who looks different than you. Because Tribal is a woman, I'm a man, she's a queer woman. I'm a heterosexual man. We can have different life experiences in the same life, see the same picture and think two different things, and you know what's the best part about it. It's okay, it's okay. But the dialogue that comes around it has to remain in a place of positivity where we can learn from each other, not poke at each other and use it to gaslight or use

it as a trigger for each other. And when I look at social media, that's what I see, you know, Like I see some comments even with the Jonathan Major's picture, was just like, oh the minute, and the next thing is he gonna be wearing a dress or the next thing is he gonna be wearing pink or this? And it's just like, bro, well, it was wearing pink. It's about love. It's about love. And wore a pink sweater the other day. You don't know why, because it was

fly dope. I like the color pattern with the black and the pink. It didn't matter to me that it was pink. Um. I was not concerned about being emasculated by my team who got the pink sweater for me. I just thought it was dope, you know, what I'm saying. And I also feel like we have to get rid of this whole idea that in order to be successful you have to give up part of who you are.

That's not the case, right, And what I get tired of is people discrediting other people's success by saying they sold their soul or they're part of the quote unquote Illuminati because you didn't work as hard as they did to get there. I'll give you another example. Last year, I did a picture downstairs in the theater. Oh god, right, that's when it we fully got in done this when this is when I knew people was full of shit. Right. I did a picture downstairs and I had just become

friends with Eva, right, U and Eva. If y'all don't know, even Eva one America's Next Time Model. She had one of the most famous pictures of what I don't know what it was A spider was a tarantula, and the tarantula was on her hand and she was covering her eye and the other fingers were on the other eye and the tarantula was climbing up her hand right right.

So I was making a joke and making fun of Eva when we were doing the pictures because I was like, I'm gonna do shoot a picture like Eva and send it to her. So we shot the picture and the picture actually came out dope, right. It was something about the way the light was hitting from the projector on you. They were like, oh, shoot, the light just happened to hit you at this angle. And Josh was like, oh, shoot,

this might actually work. Remember there was the yellow hyphen. Yeah, and the yellow hyphen crossed my eye at the same time, right, So I put my hand like Eva making a funny face, and the yellow crowd my eye. So we posted it and I looked under the post and I see I knew this was gonna happen. He sold his soul, say it ain't so the value he's a party of Illuminati. Right then I was like, Oh, it's just a couple

of comments, you know, people just doing whatever. Then I go to YouTube and there's a YouTube page that says the Ellis is sold. There's a YouTube video that says the Ellis is sold. There's soul part of the Illuminati. Ten reasons why. And they went through all of my pictures for the two thousand and something pictures for the

last seven years. There was a picture of me too in that African outfit where I was Yes, I was just posed with my arms kind of just hanging down in between my legs and they're like, she's in the Freemason reprose. In the Freemason Report, our our t shirts for Elite pro type athletics was the diamond. The triangle was created out of diamond. The triangle was create supposed to be the athlete, the parent, and the coach. That was what we called the Triangle of Success for athletes.

And in the middle it had an EPA Elite Prototype Athletics. They used that triangle and says, see, he's a part of the Illuminati. They removed the eye. But if you look at the picture and he asked his eye and the Illuminati. And then when I put the shoot that we did for Cairo's maternity, yes, yeah, and he had the eye of round these stomachs. So they said the all seeing eye the triangle. And then one of my close friends, Jason his JA coach, out to Jay Coole.

He's the one who trained Cairo and Jackson. He has a triangle as well on his and we've never talked about why he has a triangle, but they said, we are now we now are putting our friends into the circle, and you can tell them him paying homage to the Ellis is because he has a triangle for Cold World training. And I bust out laughing when I first saw it.

But then I was like, yo, you know how dangerous this is because when I looked at the video at the time, there was like forty thou views of the video, and then I was looking at the captions and I mean, I'm looking at the comments and people were believing it. And then people were also giving in their examples of ye I saw Codeine do this, and Devout has said this,

and I'm like, wait a minute. So the forty thousand people watched it, and there were like seven hundred comments of people agreeing with the video and saying this always happens at some point. To reach that level of success, you have to sell out. And I was like, you know what, it's no longer funny to me. Yeah, it's not funny. It's fucked up. And I'm gonna tell you why it's not funny. Codeine and I have worked our asses off to get here, and yes we have sacrificed,

you know what, We sacrificed. We have sacrificed finances, we have sacrificed time with our family, we have sacrificed time with our friends, and we've sacrificed going out and spending money on things that could have made us feel good in the moment. And we saved to create a greater environment for not only us to succeed, but our friends around us to succeed. And now it's not being validated for the hard work, but it's being discredited as a

part of devil worship. And the fact is that narrative can run, It'll run faster than anything else being detriment to our entire everything. And to be honest, I'm starting to get sick of it. And when I watched Rihanna and Asap, and no, I'm not saying that they're not a part of the Illuminati. I don't know. I don't believe in the Illuminati. Because if if the Illuminati exists and I'm in it, well, somebody owe me a check. That's a fact, because braggy yet you know what I'm saying.

So if somebody owe me something, if the Illuminati is real and I'm a part of it, though, and somebody let me know who. I got to talk to a

couple more commas than I need. But I'm just getting tired of watching people on social media utilize their own life experience to discredit people who have done great things by trying to take away the hard work they've put into and the fact that people really take the time to sit here and go through people's pages and go through every post, and go through every podcast episode and go through every video to them pull this again. Like I said, you're always going to find something to support

whatever your cause is. It's absolutely ridiculous. It is. It's absolutely ridiculous at this point. But also going back to Rihanna and ASAP's picture, people saying it's just the baby daddy, Asap in his own right has a career absolutely and his net worth, I mean, I don't know what it is now. I think when I looked it up last time, it estimates somewhere around twenty million. But he's no slouch.

He's no slouch at all. She didn't just find some random dude that with shit not do nothing, and she just was like, Oh, I'm just trying to, you know, have his babies and just make him sit back here and I'm gonna just control him, I'm sure, and knowing the kind of person that Rihanna is just based off of what I've seen of her because I don't know her personally, so I can't speak on that. She don't seem like she's just gonna take any any old slouch neither.

You know what I'm saying, Like she's probably gonna look for someone who's equally as strong and absolutely I can't. I can't see someone like Rihanna in that position of power. How our Island girls do too. Yeah, Island girls are a lot, Yeah, a lot to deal with. But I just I just feel like when we're having these conversations as a community of people, right, rather than arguing with each other and placing blame on each other because it's trible and I were talking, it was like, why does

it always end up being a black woman versus black man? Thing? And triples is something that I think is hilarious, but it's also true trying to push these bots. I know the boss, there's a whole bunch of boss that's just say we're purposely set up. But she has said that we often play the oppression Olympics, right, Who was more oppressed. Was it black women being oppressed by their voices or black women being black men being targeted with violence, Like

who was more oppressed? And I feel like number one, we have to validate the fact that black women and black men in the world have been the most oppressed people in the world. Like like when we when we think about holocausts, there's not one holocaust, you know, the Black Holocaust that existed in the Congo where King Leopold was a holocaust. It was a black holocaust that happened

in the Congo. Over fifteen million African Africans were slaughtered for rubber and I believe sugar, and it isn't talked about enough, but black people all over the globe have experienced similar atrocities and worst atrocities that have happened in America to Black Americans and also to the Jewish people that happened in Germany. So there isn't just one thing that's happened, like people have been oppressed all over the world.

And I feel like we as black people have to stop arguing with each other about who has it the worst, because it seems like every time we get into one of these things. Whereas a Rihanna and worst as at Rocky. It's black men need to be celebrated out of black women need to be celebrated because black witnesses. Like we're arguing about art where there's a multimillionaire and a billionaire on a picture of a British magazine cover. Can we

celebrate the fact with their child? Can we celebrate the fact that here is a black family even if you don't even agree with how their family is constructed. Okay, they're not married and they had a baby before they got married, But we have a black billionaire and a multimillionaire and who was going to be the heir to whatever they leave behind on the cover of a British your magazine, Like we should be celebrating that, but instead we're having dialogue about who's emasculated and who's had it

working at Lord Jesus. And I say that because and the reason why I get so like passionate about this is because I want people to realize what you search

will become your reality in this day and age. You put something in Google, you put something in your search ball for ig or Twitter, the analogs of the analogs, the the algorithm is then going to send you similar topics, similar video, similar pictures, and create a whole world around you that now you think is the world, when it's really just one small bit of what's really going on in all this. Sometimes I look at my Explore page and I'm like, what the who? Who? Who be all

my ig page? Because I don't know what the hell some of that stuff is that pops up on my Explore page. So it just really you're You're right. It depends on what their agenda is, what the forces that be are trying to feed you on a day to day basis, And it's like, do you fall into that trap or do you not? We have some facts and stats about this here, let's see what we're talking about when it talks about representation, media emasculation, or the agenda

of emasculation. A twenty twenty one studies show that seventy nine percent of people said more diversity is needed on screens. Positive media representation can be helpful in increasing self esteem for people of marginalized groups, especially youth. Into personal contact and exposure through media representation can assist in reducing stereotypes of underrepresented groups, which is essentially what I think we

try to do absolutely. You know, I think we sought to do that initially, but it kind of become that. I mean, yeah, we never sought to do it, but I mean subconsciously, we are very purposeful about trying to represent underrepresented groups because I believe the representation. Yeah, and like Black Love, for example, showing more of the black family unit, whatever that looks like. Representation in educational curricula and social media can provide validation and support, especially for

youth of marginalized groups. So seeing Rihanna Asap on a cover, like you said, two black people, a billionaire, multimillionaire and their son can be something that's empowering for our youth versus seeing all the other garbage that they see on social media anyway. Absolutely. For in ten, people who feel poorly represented or have a physical disabilities say that they

don't see enough people with their body type. A similar percentage of gender nonconforming people share this same sentiment, and often the lives of people in entertain don't resemble their actual own real life. Absolutely sore again art art art art.

Those who feel poorly represented attribute this sentiment to not seeing enough people who behave like them, which is thirty three percent coming from the same economic level, twenty nine percent speaking with the same accents or dialects, twenty two percent, having families like there's twenty one percent, and live in a home like there's twenty one percent. So this is what I say about representation and why I think representation is important. Right, Representation to speaks to the people who

have no voice. Right, and this is why I think it's important for artists to understand their choices and also be able to explain why they made certain choices. Right, what if we don't know? This is just a what if we don't know? What if Jonathan Majors has an entire group of friends who are exist in the queer community, right and he said, Yo, the next cover I'm gonna do, I'm gonna represent y'all. What's wrong with that? That's very

possible to you know what I'm saying. Because what and this is and I want people to just think about this is because sometimes people who feel represented by a person thinks that that person should only represent them. So right now, black men feel like Jonathan Major should only represent black man and but they only think he should only represent black heterosexual men. Right, So if he chooses to do a piece of art that doesn't represent black

heterosexual life. I feel like black heterosexual men get triggered, and that's when it becomes, oh, this is the agenda. It's like, Bro, did you not watch the last five years of all the hyper masculine stuff that he's done.

I can speak for black heterosexual man who feel like we're often underrepresented or underrepresented, especially in Hollywood, especially when you lead families, because we feel like we don't see pictures of black strong family men in Hollywood specifically and especially in sports right And I'm just speaking from our standpoint because I can't speak from our standpoint. For example, Kyrie Irvin was reign raised by a single black father. How can we don't have a lot of exposed as

about how his father raised him? But we have so many stories about Lebron's mom and Kd's mom. And I've listened to a lot of black men say like, yo, Kyrie's dad, like raised a great man who is now one of the leaders in the NBA, who is a champion, who was a Rookie of the Year, Like we don't ever hear his story told the same with a drama yet even know that I didn't heis. I've met his dad like once or twice, but I had no idea

that he was a single dad raising him. And and the only reason why I'm giving this example is because when you feel underrepresented, when you see something that you think someone is supposed to be representing you and they choose to not represent you in the way you want them to resent you, you you feel triggered and you attack them.

That's not the way you go about doing things. Because we also have to remember the moment, right, Jonathan Majors in that moment, chose to represent something that mattered to him in that moment. We don't know what it is because it's art, and hopefully he'll be able to tell one day what why he made those choices. He doesn't

have to. It's art, it's subjective. Anybody can think about Anyone even read that at the article because typically the article has something to kind of do with well the cover. You know what I'm saying, absolutely, and I agree with you on that. If you read the article you might get a better understanding of it. He was trying to represent his friends who maybe of queer community, and that's what the that's the image, because that may be it could just be that he liked the costuming. It could

be that it could have been that. But just to say, like, people don't even investigate any further, the clickbait, the instant like, oh shoot, what's happening here? But also people have discussions about covers without reading the article all the time, all the time, So we can't say that you have to read the article. If the cover made you feel a way, that's what the cover did. Like all covers are and

are supposed to make you feel an emotion. So that's why I was like, that's why I feel like when you when I said in my sound bite, how you feel about what you saw says more about you than it does about the people in the photo is because then you have to start to take an inventory of why did this cover make me feel this way? Because essentially Rihanna in her season right where she is right now, could have done a cover alone. Yes, she didn't have to include or you know, a SAP and the baby

didn't have to be included in it. So it's like, what would have made people feel better in that moment if it was Rihanna with ASAP next to her and the baby on their lap. That's then now pushing the narrative of the family. Right, it may have made the cover more about the entire unit together, versus if the cover that was already presented. So what what I've heard listening to people and reading a bunch of commons, but also using the Waymaker cover or even Lebron and Savannah's

Vanity Fair cover. Right, right, Lebron was standing behind Savannah, Yes, right, but he was still standing in the position of protection. Right, Lebron wasn't smaller than Savannah. Grant, it's hard to make night, but still he wasn't so far in the background that he was smaller than Savannah, and Savannah was in the foreground.

Lebron was directly behind Savannah in that moment. And say, for example, they had the child in that moment she bows back, he could have been holding the child staring directly into the camera, similar to the picture of Beyonce in the front. And then jay Z was behind Beyonce like I got my eye on you, I always got her back. She was still the centerpiece of the picture. So I got so many different examples of what they could have done. But here's my thing. That photo was

about that moment. That moment was about coming back off retirement from five years of performance. That moment was about being a mom and having a support system in the man who was Because there's another thing. There's also so much that can be empowering about that, right. Imagine a black man who has a child with a billionaire who doesn't feel any type of way to be like, go, baby, shine, I got you. Go shine Like to me when I saw it, that's that's what empowering. And then they're like, well,

he's being emasculated. He'd probably be like, who's emasculating me? This was my fucking idea, you know what I'm saying, Like, people can't emasculate you when you have a choice on what gets presented. And that's another thing that I think people need to realize. These covers don't just take pictures, send you home, and then post a picture. Artists have the right to decide what's going to be the final edit of the picture posted. That is a fact. It

is part of the contract. Artists get to decide that. So the whole idea that he was emasculated to me is just asinine because he could have been like, yo, I don't like that picture, take me out, or I don't have to be a part of it if you want to do something with her, or let's choose a different picture. He was a part of the decision making process, which to me shows even more empowerment because he's not afraid to say, baby go in the front. I got you with the baby in the back. You know what

I'm saying. Yep. Deval and I had done a photo cover for another magazine a while back and they attempted to put the cover out before we co signed on it. Yes, and we pull that shit back and was like, absolutely not because the val felt like I was standing there looking like a mannequin and this was not It didn't reflect our love story. It didn't reflect what it was supposed to reflect in that moment. So we were like, you gotta pull that as a cover. That cannot be it.

Let's reassess that. Yes, you know. So these things did not go to print without several different people checking several different boxes. And if I, if I can imagine anything, Rihanna is like as a businesswoman in that moment, and it speaks to her being the billionaire that she is. She's not gonna let them put anything out that she does not agree on, not at all, and have herself all up in that mix. She'd probably tell them to go to hell firstly before they print something without her permit.

All right, y'all, we're gonna take a quick break and we're gonna go into listener letters after we pay some bills, and we're gonna come back and see what y'all have to say this week. All right, jumping into listener letters, Let's see what y'all got for us this week. We got the first one. I'll just dive right in. Good afternoon, y'all. How you know it's afternoon over here. First of all, I just kidding, get after do y'all. Hope all as well. I love what you too represent. Keep doing your thing.

Thank you. This may be lengthy. I'm sorry in advance, but a nigga is in down bad. Okay. I'm coming to y'all because I don't know y'all personally. In fear of being judged or joked on won't affect me. I've been with my wife for six years, married for three. I love porn like all porn, and that's capital like. If I'm by myself, I can just sit and watch this shit like it's TV without getting an erection. Smh. Here's the thing. None of what I watched is a

reflection of what I want in my personal sex life. Also, my wife knew I watched it, but didn't know how deep it was until now. I just recently had surgery. The first night post surgery, I'm in bed, grimacing and my wife is asking me certain questions to help me get through it. For some reason, she decides to use my phone to look up certain things about pain I'm experiencing and comes across my surch history, which at the time had gay porn in it. I didn't even see

her using my phone smh. I don't hide or delete nothing because I don't have anything to hide, well outside of my Internet history that normally gets deleted asap. She then softly confronts me. I told her I think it's an addiction and that I like and that it's been like this way before she came into my life. I continuously apologized, but she wanted to end our marriage. Y'all may not believe me, but I know my wife doesn't believe me. But I've never had any sexual encounters or

feelings for a man. No curiosity, no nothing. Maybe my porn history negates that in most people's eyes. Maybe most people will say I'm in denial, but it has never left Safari and me personally. I'm not partaking in that. My wife is a voluptuous sexy. She's voluptuously sexy, and our sex is good when we have it, not as freaky as it used to be, but it's good. We have a one year old. I never cheated and do not intend to. It's been a month and a half

and no intimacy has taken place since then. All other husband and wifely duties are in full effect, though I may have left some things out my bad, just trying to paint the picture. But my question is what do I do now? How do I get her to trust me again, love me again, make love and fuck me again? I need some help, y'all. Definitely grabbing the book to stay up. Thanks for grabbing the book, bro. This is

what I will say. His wife is probably triggered because every movie we see where a wife uncovers that her husband is gay typically starts with finding his poorn history, and he watches gay porn, so in her mind, she's probably thinking he's gay and don't want to tell me, or he's gay and trying to hide it, and she may be feeling like if he isn't has these urges, or has he been truthful with her what he's partaken in right, or just maybe also too so she's they

have a one year old, so I already know what that's like postpartum life and you're thinking, oh, shoot, like I just had this baby. My husband may not view my body the same way, or he may not you know, he may not be feeling me now because I just had this baby and we're having this transitionary period and my body is going through all these things. You know what I'm saying, Like, has that pushed him into this arena?

There can be a lot of things, but not knowing, like watching someone's poorn history, in my opinion, tells you what they're into and what they like. You see someone liking to see two people engage in sexual activity and you just watch it. Why do you watch it? If you don't like it? I just don't understand, or it could be curiosity. It could just be like, you know, well, I've never seen this before or I've never understood it.

Force let me see what it looks like, tell you something from a man's perspective, right when I'm watching from a heterosexual man, heterosexual man's perspecition, but even a man's perspective, because I've talked to my friends who are gay. The type of point they watch, Okay, the type of point you watch is typically indicative of the things you like, right, Like, I can't and this is this is no disrespect to

um white poorn stars. I'm not racist, but I just don't get aroused by white point, right, So I don't. I don't just I don't watch white porn, you know what I'm saying. That's not my preference. So for me, I don't understand how you could just watch porn just to watch it. It's not like the storylines be great, like like like what are you what are you looking for? The cinematography is not what you know what I'm saying,

it's like, I don't understand. But also I'm not going to judge him because there may be people who watch porn just to watch. I don't know. He said he watches it and doesn't get interaction. He just watches it like it's regular TV. Right. But also people say that when they try to hide things. You know what I'm saying, Like, like, we can't sit here and make it seem like, oh,

it's just okay to just watch porn. No, I don't know anybody in my life who just will go in the room and watch porn for any other reason other than to just get in direction and jack off all my boys, did I talk to when they watch press? What they say? They watch some po when are spoking to say they use it to get stimulate, to stimulate

the arousal process. Right, So if porn is utilized to stimulate the arousal process, and there's gay porn in your history, of course your wife is going to be suspicious about what your your true wants and desires are. Like, I don't. I don't blame her, you know what I'm saying. I don't.

I don't blame anybody who finds out that way. Like, that's very difficult, And I'm gonna be honest with you, bro, I don't know how to get you to get your wife to understand where you're coming from because I don't know, Like I don't understand, Like yeah, and I'm not I'm not judging you because there's so many different lifestyles and things that I don't understand, but I wish I could help you. What I will say is that you probably

do need to have a lot of conversations. Um, it's going to be hard for her to believe, like and this, and he even said it. She's probably not going to believe what I have to say. But UM, how would you feel, just be honest, how would you feel if you look through my phone and then you just found a whole bunch of gay porn and then I told you, but but a babe, I've never done it. I just watch it. Would you believe I was telling the truth?

Or would you be like, but I've known for twenty years the same person right now everything you know, the same person you know right now. I would think you were researching it for some reason, Like I would be like, maybe maybe something is going on where he's trying to get an understanding for something Like I wouldn't think that Devot is interested in men just knowing you and knowing who you are. I think they'd have to be some sort of reasons because you know me, because I know you.

Nothing is too has there anything that has happened in the past and their relationship that would make her think like, aha, so that happened, that happened, that happened. I was kind of worried about this friend that he had, And then now I see your gay porn history and I'm like, oh, now I'm putting the dots together. It could be that too.

This is also one thing I think you have to think about, right, women in general in general have been surprised by their men having sexual exploits with other men because it's not it's not appealing, it's not approved, Like society doesn't approve homosexuality all the time, right, So a lot of men are living double lives, and they've talked about, like the whole DL thing was a thing in the

black community for a long time. So I think that it's a trigger for black women when they see something that may not be in alignment with the person at they're dating. The trigger is automatically, is this person hiding a part of himself that he doesn't feel comfortable being because society made it uncomfortable? And am I a victim of being tricked because this person can't live that life?

You know what I'm saying, Like, and it is a real thing, you know what I'm saying, And to be honest, this goes back to judging people for being different and then those people feeling shamed for having different thoughts. You know what I'm saying, Like, I wish we could get to a time where we allow people to be different and not try to convert everybody to be one thing, right, because when you do that and people feel different, they

feel like they're going to be shamed. They hide it, and the last thing people want to do is be out it. You know. Um, It's no secret that I have friends who live different lifestyles and I asked them all the time, like, yo, you never felt comfortable just being yourself, Like why did you feel like you have to do? And they were just like I asked myself, was it safety? Did you feel like you were going to get beat up? And some of them is big dudes,

like it's like, ain't nobody whipping my ass? Like I had one friend and let me tell you something, bro, it will take a lot of hetero sexual men to fuck me up. Like he's he's big, brawlic do but he was like it wasn't even that type of fear. It was just fear of being accepted. You know, just fear of just being able to walk down the street and not have a scarlet letter because you're just not

like everybody else. And I think this woman when we didn't hear her perspective, but maybe in fear of that, Like was this man living a different life his whole time, trying to be something he's really not. So, brother, I'm gonna pray for the both of you. Yeah, let's keep having those conversations. Keep having those conversations. Try to try it. If you love your wife, give for a great and give her time because what she found out it is not easy to deal with, and especially at the time

she's finding it out too. Like he said, they have a one year old. That's a good point. There's a lot of it's a good point. It will existing postpartum, you know, issues that could potentially be going on, you know, her just trying to feel like herself again too, and her feeling maybe not sexy, you're not attractive, Like those are things that we go through when you have a one year old, you know. So, um, just keep the conversations open and if you get a chance, write and

explain to us, like why you just watch porn? I really want to know, like, right, not as a joke because he said he's not afraid of being a joke, but I really want to understand, like how you can just turn on porn right not be aroused, because oh maybe it's because I'm an artist and to me, cinematics is like so important to me that I was like, I just can't watch porn just to watch it because the cinema photography is terrible, the storylines be terrible, and

if it's not the type of women that I'm interested in, I can't watch it. You know what I'm saying. Porn also serves a purpose for you, right, Yeah, like it does for most people. For him, it may just be entertainer. It's like putting on Netflix. That's I just want to know why, because also I just don't watch porn, Like I'm just not, like I don't wake up and be

liked in this Monday. What I'm gonna do? Man, Let me just go check and see what's happening, you know what I'm saying, Like that's just not part of my thought process, but that may be a whole society of people and I'm not judging, but I just kind of want to know, like how you got to that point for sure, but thank you for writing in no doubt and thank you for getting the book. Appreciate you, yes, sir number two. Hello Cadina de Val. First off, I love you too and have been a fan of the

show for the past year. Thank you so much. I can't thank you enough for all the hard work you both do to bring quality and relevant topics to the podcast each week. We appreciate you that episode take a break before it's too late. Hit home for me. I'm a twenty eight year old black woman who currently is finishing up my eed S degree for Professional Counseling, working full time as a school counselor track coach, graduate assistant, Honor Society president, studying for my comps, and do other

side hustle like pet sit house. Is she making money? Brave here, et cetera. To make extra money, I've got to be a Jamaican girl. You got mad jobs. I love it. I actually got sick the same day I listened to this show and have spent the last five days trying to recover. My question to you both is how do I find the drive to keep going to do all of these tasks? Ps. It's only for a short period of time. I graduating May and a lot

of tasks will be off my plate come then. Any advice would help because a sister is Ti Tide Tide Tie. Thank you all for YouTube and what you do well. That was the answer to the questions. This the light is at the end of the tunnel. Maybe is about to be here before you know what you've been juggling all this time, and that I mean, look at that professional counselor degree counselor track coach. This that the third

so many things listen. Sometimes it's the hustle period, yes, and this seems like exactly what you're in but it's all for a good cause. I mean, once all these things are alleviated off of your plate, then you can really kind of reap the benefits and enjoy the hard work. So things are seasonal when it comes to, you know, trying to put in the work, putting your head down, just digging, digging, digging, and then you finally get to the end of that time and you're like, oh shit,

that's what it was all for. And that team no sleep. I told y'all, I'm not subscribing to that no more. When you can't get y'all sleep, Get your sleep. Case team gets sleep. I am team. Get your sleep. It's better for everybody. It's better for you. Your body inflammation. I mean, I'm starting to get skinny out, y'all because I've been drinking my water, working out, and sleeping. Okay, so certain things are gonna learn. You're gonna have to learn.

Have to wait for sure. I got nothing, You got nothing. Ll never shuts off. No, no, I'll never shut off, y'all. So he's gonna tell you to keep juggling, even if you don't need to juggle. No, I'm not gonna say that. What I'm saying is I got nothing because she actually trying to play me, and I was about to compliment her own. I'm not trying to play here. I'm just saying, my baby be working hard, y'all, and I'm the one that has to tell him chill out, chill out, all right,

I just want to finish my thought. Let me Rihanna, you would take you away. They go get make a billion dollars drink. Gonna getting no argument from me. He's gonna be holding all. You make a billion dollars tomorrow. You ain't gonna hear a thing from me. One thing I do not care. This thing is like I got to be the only one making money. My wife made a billion dollars. Good shit, shit because some of the stuff that I be want to do, he got to stop. But I was gonna say I'm not gonna say nothing

because I felt like your answer was great. I just felt you when you said, May is right around the corner. Literally, the light is there. You see the light keep going to us. Then yeah, that's it our girl. If you want to be featured as a listener, no, I lied, not a listener. If you want to be featured with one of the listener letters that you turn into us, email us at dead ass Advice at gmail dot com. Fact, that's d E A d as A d V I

C E at gmail dot com. And I love that you know, men and women, all walks of life, everyone writes it about something. I love that y'all feel comfortable that this is a safe space that you can write into us, like, let's keep that going. I enjoy that joy and I feel honored, So thank y'all. All Right, moment of truth. We're talking email asculation of the black male. We're talking covers of magazines. We're talking positions of men and women, which your final words for the people today,

moment of truth. Here's my moment of truth. Right when we look at Hollywood and we look at for example, black black men and have Warren dresses and all this other stuff. First thing is, black men are not the only one in more dresses. Menstrel shows existed long before black people were even allowed to be a part of the theater. And menstrual shows were white men who wore dresses, who made fun of white women and dressed up as women.

So that's my first thing, Like, this is not menstrual shows and black men dressing up in dresses is not a new thing. So we can dispel that. Right many black men that dress up there have been white men. No, no, no, no, no, not only that as many black men. Yes, absolutely, Like one of our most revered artists of all time, Robin Williams, was Missus Doubtfire, which is one of people's favorite movies, and he dressed up for a purpose, and not one person said Robin Williams is less of a man because

he dressed up as Missus Doutfire. I wonder because of the role he had though, because he was trying to see his kids, and then people were like, oh, well, black people still got on Martin for dressing up his big mama. And he was a black man dressing up to save the day, and he dressed up his big mama. So I don't I don't think it's that. I think it's just that sometimes the imagery, the imagery, and people's

own interpretations of what will not own interpretations. People's own experiences in life are trigger them when they see other things, and they tend to project what their triggers are onto other people. And I want to say that about Rihanna and Asap and also Jonathan Majors, Like, let's not forget about the moment. The picture is only a moment. Let's stop taking a moment and making it be the epicenter or the epitome of what they are supposed to represent.

You know, Let's stop putting the representation of black family solely on Rihanna, Asap and their child. Let's not put the representation of what black manhood is supposed to be on Jonathan Major's in that moment. Right. If we're going to look at Jonathan Major's, let's look at all his work in totality. This is one picture where he has years of hyper masculine work. Right, Let's look at Rhan and Asap. Let's not just look at the picture, Let's

look at the years of everything that they've done. Right, So that would be my moment of truth is to understand that the picture says a thousand words, but it only says a thousand words about the moment. Stole your line, stole my line, Get out of my head, Get out of my head, Out of my head. But no, my moment of truth was going to be that a picture is worth a thousand words. Your words are not full thousand words. I like it, Your words maybe twenty thirty.

How much do they allow you to put on Twitter? How many characters two hundred and forty out of a thousand works? There's so many different takeaways and perspectives. Art is subjective for a reason. It's supposed to evoke conversation. It's supposed to make you feel something, and if it doesn't make you feel something, it probably was not successful as an art piece. Take it for what it is, y'all.

It's exhausting. And lastly, you have a choice not to support it if you don't like it, keep it moving, scroll past, scroll pass. Not everything requires a dissertation, y'all. Absolutely, Jesus, Absolutely Jesus. And I'm sure Rihanna asap Jonathan Majes they're gonna be just fine facts living their life, solivea life. I would be fine. You say it, can't say that they chasing their paper, chase yours and mind got damn business sometimes. But speaking of which, you said you was

gonna try to be a billionaire. When you're gonna start that, because baby, I'm tired, I'm putting the wheels in motion, all right, y'all. Be sure to find us on Patreon. I want to know how many people have subscribed to that yet, because you know why. We have exclusive Deadass podcast video content, live shows coming up this season. Yes, yeah, mar tour all that good stuff. So be sure to be on Patreon and find us on social media. You

can find our Instagram page dead Ass the podcast. You can find Mekdeen I am on Instagram and TikTok and I am devout. And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, be sure to rate, review, and subscribe dead Ass, y'all. Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network and is produced by the Norapinia and Triple. Follow the podcast on social media at dead Ass, to Podcasts and Never miss a Thing.