Dead Ass podcasts. Is bouncing get crazy?
Is it really?
Yes?
I think it might get a little crazy up in here if y'all spend a day with K.
Dead Ass.
Hey, I'm Kadeen.
And I'm Devoued and we're the Ellis's. You may know us from posting funny videos with.
Our voys and reading each other publicly as a form of therpy.
Wait.
I make you need therby most days.
Wow.
Oh and one more important thing to mention, we're married.
Yes, sir, we are.
We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of Li's most taboo topics, things.
Most folks don't want to talk about.
Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead Ass is a term that we say every day. So when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
We about to take philosof to our whole new level.
Dead Ass starts right now. All right, So, alright is storytime?
Story time?
Did you have a story time for me? You do have a story time? Honored that you have a story time for me? To talk about a day weight, K got a story that had a couple of go ahead do you think.
This story is going to take us back to two thousand and seven. I was in the NFL, and that was way back. Kadeen and I were dating, living in Michigan, and Kadeen pretty much gave me an ultimatum, pretty much.
Said, look, she get off the pot.
I am not trying to be your living girlfriend or your baby mother. I want to get married, but most importantly, I have things I want to do with my life and I want to host TV shows. I want to be in front of the camera. I want to be an entertainment reporter. She she went through the list of all of these things that she wanted to do.
And she just felt like at the time she was just stagnant.
She had just graduated from college, got her master's degree in speech communications and performance, and I had to make a decision. And I was like, so, what are you saying is She was just like, nothing, like, if we don't make any you know, strides towards being married, I'm just going to move back to New York and start focusing on my career. And it was like clockwork. I
think it was like three weeks later. That's when the the traffic reporter search was happening in Detroit, and I was like, yo, why don't you go out for that?
And she made it to the top ten.
But it was in that moment that I realized that got I got like a one percenter on my hands.
I got a young lady here who.
Has so many other gifts and talents, and the gifts and talents she shares me, if you know what I'm saying. But I looked at you, like, go through all of those different levels on that reporter search and it was over.
I think it was over seven hundred people had applied and you made it to the top ten.
Yeah, and then eventually the top five made it.
To the top five.
And it was a time and sometimes even in your losses because you end up not getting the job, but the fact that you made it to the top five out of over seven hundred people shows that you're in the top one percent for people who can really do this. And at that moment, I say, you know what, I have to find a way for both of us to live out our dreams while being partners.
For each other.
That was great. I have something I was going to say that I just realized in this moment. But we'll save it until when we come back and we talk more about story time. Okay, all right, karaoke time. So in the day we k I didn't even give much thought to karaoke it because I feel like there's so many songs that could potentially bring true to the moment. Okay, however I might have I don't know if we did
this song before, but it just is purposeful right now. Victoria, we just saw her at the Usher Experience when he had his residency down in Vegas, third to last show, and she has this song that's pretty much called Moment, and I forget how it starts. Oh, I got this feeling day brom me to you, so let me take away your pain and send it on my plane. And that man gave me a game hold life is fun of dream a few manifested slowly, so fucking fantasy is
your motherfucking moment? Hey, it's my motherfucking moment, y'all?
That this is a song, shoot man.
I used to I was playing that song long before Victoria money on it, you was on it. That was like twenty twenty. I want to say, that was like one of my pandemic songs that I listened to all the time, like, when are we gonna have our moment again? And when I saw her and we met her backstage at the Usher Residency, she was so super sweet and I said, girl, I knew you were a star or the minute I heard that song. And I'm so happy
for her. So shout out to Victoria Monteu and her accolades that she's accumulated over the past couple of years. She was a dope artist, beautiful person, beautiful spirit. So yeah, y'all, it's my motherfucking moment. I'm gonna tell y'all, why let's go take a break, pay some bills, and we're gonna come back and talk more about what we can expect
from a day with k stick around. All right, So to address your story, time you telling that story about two thousand and seven graduating grad school because I graduated grad school in twenty eight was it was it?
Did you do two years?
No? I did two thousand and five graduate. You were twenty six.
Seven year right, okay?
Because I confused my years in yours sometimes because that was like a jumble for us. While I was finishing up grad school, Deval was in the NFL for his first year, so we had one year we were doing the whole distance thing. But you made me realize in that moment that a day with K what I want it to be is more than and what it will be is more than just an extension of Dead Ass podcast. But it's me getting a chance to finally put my degree,
my tools, my talents to use. It's journalists. I didn't even think of it that way because we're so accustomed to the Dead Ass live experience being just like really entertainment. It's just like a fun night where people come out.
You know.
We had the DJ, we had the theatric and I going to be that. However, a day with K not having you on the forefront, as you know, a co host, It'll just be me and having moments where I am displaying the things that I had worked so hard for that I haven't been able to exercise.
And before we get here, the podcast in itself was all dedicated towards Kadeen becoming a daytime talk show host.
Absolutely.
I remember we sat down with.
Our manager at the time and they had asked us, you know, are you guys interested in doing the podcast? And I had said, at that time, the only way I'll do a podcast. If this can parlay into Ky getting her own show.
That's a fact. And that's the reason why some episodes it almost seems as if I'm interviewing you. I mean,
depending on the topic. But that's why it seems that way, or I seem of support to you, because a lot of times it's me trying to keep those you know, journalism skills sharp and you know it then became, of course Deval and Kadeen throwing some personality in there, and then in the live shows of course, including every one of the audience, including the rest of the cast at this point, which I feel like we have a cast
between DJ Executive Triple and everyone. So a day with k is going to be just that, except we're going to pull the valve from it because Deval is now super busy doing his acting thing, which was the goal
to begin with. So I have to in this moment, I know we're talking about to day, but I want to give you your accolades and flowers because you've worked so hard to establish yourself as a legitimate actor in the acting world in space and as you pull away from you know, the influencer title or the social media dad, the godfather of family content as you pull away from those titles and you really lean more into being a thespian.
This is also going to allow me the space and grace to grow in a journalism or a more journalistic approach to how I conduct a day with K.
And also also just to be clear, when we told you guys this was going to be a last day as podcast tour this past year, we were telling the truth, like, because of my work schedule and the fact that both of us still are really dedicated to being parents, we had to figure out what was the best thing for our family, what was the best thing for our careers moving forward.
And we don't want to give.
Y'all bullshit, Like we was like, we can just come out here and just throw anything together, you know, just to sell tickets. But we were like, no, it's just too important for us, yes to do that. But then K was just like, well, what about meet us doing a day with K where I go out on the road and I do all these things, And she had
so many great ideas. You can tell them the ideas, maybe, but what you gonna do for the show, because the show is going to be slightly different, But what the show is and what it provides for the locations we go for those cities, it's going to be huge.
Yeah, So before I start on that, you guys have been accustomed to and it makes sense for the Dead Ass podcast seeing Deval and Kadeen is the collective. But what we're trying to do more so now is to straight away from the Deval and Kadeen that you saw on like Black Love or like doing everything with family content.
We also have individual paths that we're trying to pursue more actively, and I think both of us turning forty, we just kind of felt like, Okay, this was a good time for us to just breathe new life into what the Ellises have been, but also to what Deval
and Kadeine looked like independent. So a day with k I'm excited about because when we go to these respective cities where I'm going to have these live shows and tours, I want to take opportunities in each city that I go to to highlight some local heroes, local businesses, up and coming people who are in those spaces who would like who have something interesting to share, something different. So think about if you will. Barbara Walters meets Oprah meets
Ellen meets Kadean. I was gonna say Kadeen would be a little bit of everybody, kind of like pool together, but in a live experience so that people can I love what I wanted to maintain as I try to catapult myself into a talk show esque space. I do love the live show aspect. I love being in front of an audience. I love feeling the energy of the crowd. I love being able to look you all in the eyes and say, oh my god, y'all came out here
for me. We're gonna have a good time. So there's going to still be a great balance of girls' night partying, getting together, karaoke, DJ and all that it's going to be. It's going to be fun, but it's also going to be mixed in with some deep down conversations. It's going to be mixed with a lot. So I don't want to give away too much because I want to give you a little bit of what to expect, but also to as we curate this show, to make it the
best experience that it can be for you all. I just want to also talk to you and you can email Triple and and be like me, what are some things that y'all want to see on a day with K. What are some things that you want to see more of from me? Because that's been the request a lot lately.
Let me be an executive producer in this moment.
If you want to be a guest on a Day with K and we're coming to your city, because we are coming to your city. We're coming back to Chicago, Chicago, going finally coming to Florida, Gloria.
Y'all been asking forever for us to get this. Y'all better show up and show out and sell out because listen, we haven't.
Been to Florida.
I have a special guest in Florida. So yeah, already, don't don't sleep, baby, don't sleep Houston.
We're coming back to Houston to do another show there. But if you want to be a guest on a Day with K, if you have a unique story, an interesting job, a story that can help save lives. Because because Kadeen, when I tell you she's been on this health trip since she's turned forty, she is going to be speaking to some women who have some unique perspectives on how they.
Save their own lives, oh for sure, and they're willing.
To share that story for you guys, so that you learn, you know, everything doesn't always land on your doctor or your primary care physician. So this goal is to do some introspective lifestyle journalism. And if you want to be a guest on a day with K writing, if we're going to come to your city and you're going to be at the show writing, and we can make you a part of the show. Because remember Dad's podcast has
always been about you guys. Anyway, anyway, you know, whenever we did the listener letters, when we brought people from the stands on stage, it's for y'all, And it's the same thing.
It's just going to be K curating it the way she wants to do it.
Yeah, I want to talk about everything, you know. I want to talk about business, I want to talk about motherhood. I want to talk about womanhood. I want to talk about the women three sixty. You know, there's so many different components that we have to be concerned about as women. So if I can find people who are doing things in different respective areas that can impact us and motivate us and inspire us as a whole as a woman,
like hey, come on down. I am excited to see you start writing into Todad's advice at gmail dot com. I think that was a good email address for now until we do anything further, but I think it's going to be really, really a good a good time.
And also also just to be clear, it isn't a great space for women, but it's not only for women, right. I had so many dudes who ask me, like, yo, where could I find a place to meet a woman that is looking to be a woman through sixty who wants to have a career but also be a.
Mom and a wife.
These are the places, gentlemen, if you're looking for someone who is of equal yoke to you, if you're determined and deliberate about being a husband and a father and a provider and all of the an entrepreneur, come to these events and see that there are other women. There are women we are thinking just like you. People are trying to be delivered about the next steps in their lives. So this is not just for women.
That's a fact.
But be comfortable women when you come, because k is going to gear it towards you guys.
That's a fact. And it's funny you mentioned that. That's good because I wanted to say also too, my guests are not only going to be women, right, I want
to hear from men as well too. So if you are you know, a man who has a business, or if you're a woman whose husband does something, or if you just know somebody doing something interesting, I would love for that to be a space for y'all to come to because historically with our dead ass podcasts, it's funny, we used to see people come together couples and the women would bring the guys along, or one of the couple.
One of the people in the couple, a man or woman, would bring their partner along, and one partner sometimes didn't know why they were there or what the show was about or what's the live podcast. But it's nice when you can just bring someone along for a date night and just make it an evening where we can have some fun together, you know, make it a weekend trip. If you want to come down to Florida with some girlfriends or with a couple of couples, you know, to
have a good time. That's exactly what we're looking for.
I'm just thinking about.
Sorry, so what are you most excited about?
For it?
To be honest, man, I'm just I'm excited to see you in your journalism bag, but also in your entertainer bag, because I feel like oftentimes you had to be the host of that ass podcast. Well I entertained, made people laugh, That's how it naturally was. But I'm interested in seeing you do all of this on your own because I've
seen you do it in different facets. I've seen you go out and you know, be guests on other people's podcasts, but also other hosts shows that are online and stuff like that, and I've seen you do that, and I just want to see you continue to do it more in a larger scale, yeah, you know, and not be partnered.
With someone or something.
You know that someone is me, I know.
I mean, if I'm going to be partnering with anybody, you're the best person for me to be partnered with. But I'm looking forward to being able to get back into that journalistic bag, that lifestyle journalism, to really look at the facts. I feel like right now, with so many people having social media and the access to a microphone, you know, everybody got a podcast, everybody got to show.
Everybody has something that they're producing and putting together, and you know, I kind of want to take it back to some fact based stories where we can really say, this is what's actually happening. Here are the experts in those fields, These are are the realities, you know, because for so long we talked about perception and reality in an episode where a lot of people's perceptions are based off of how they've been skewed by whatever they consume
or the algorithm feeds them on social media. So I want to take it back to a space where we're not just getting together and we're shooting the shit and talking about you know, random things or current events, but things that are actually life changing people who are out there changing lives and doing things and moving and shaking and may just need that spotlight on them because they're doing things that are really progressive.
Well, let me ask a question, who is this generation's Barbara Walters Oprah Winfrey, who's doing lifestyle journalism? Because that's what Barbara Walters and Oprah did. You know They didn't just go interview celebrities all the time and go to their house.
Yeah, Barbara Walters.
Interviewed Michael Jackson, Oprah Winfrey interviewed Michael Jordan and Tom Cruise like they did celebrities as well, which you're probably going to do as well too, because you have so many celebrity friends who would want to come down and share their stories with you, so you can expect that part as well. But who is the person that's also sitting down to the doctor who found a cure for a cancer or found a treatment that is helping people live longer with a cancer or an HIV, or who's
helping women deal with their mental health. Like, who are the interviewers now that we know that we say, you know, when I watched this show or when I listen to this person speak, they're coming with fat base statistics and actual knowledge on what are the things affecting us as a community and not just infusing it with their own opinion or real journalism or.
Being skewed by their network, right, because you have some people who are great with, you know, delivering stories and talking about what's happening, but it's also going to be of course packaged in a way that's suitable and approved by whatever their media outlet is.
You know, that's that's a good point that you brought that up, because I think the greatest thing about A Day with K is that we plan on having sponsors we do, but everything is funded by us.
Yeah, so no one can tell you what to say, what to say, what guests to have.
So you're not being skewed, like you said, by not only a network, but by the big money people who are saying, I'm giving you this money, so you can't speak about that.
It's more genuine to.
The people who live in those communities because we're not going to be skewed by anyone else saying no, that's off topic.
Yep, that's a great point that you made. I mean, I think that's that rings true to how the Ellises have been conducting themselves in business since we started this thing, you know what, eight years ago now. Absolutely so many offerers have come in for TV shows in reality space and I could have picked up and said, you know what I can, Yeah, I can promote this and sell that and just be a business woman and do all these things. But at what cost, you know.
And that's no knock on the women who've done those things. But Kadeen and I have made it very clear, and Kadeen was very clear with this that she was like, I don't want to ever take a job just based on the money. And people have asked you for a long time, So what's next for you, Kadeen?
What's next for you?
And even even when we're at the live show, so many women saying what's next for you? Kadeen could have been taken a job or a role or something, but it was never in alignment with what she wanted to do.
It really was for her audience, for my audience, and you guys are really at the root of it. I mean, next to my family, and of course you like keeping in mind like I have four sons, I have my husband here. My family means everything to me, not just my immediate my extended family. So wanting to always control our narrative and not have somebody else control it for us or skew it in some kind of way, it
just didn't work for me. And for some people that's okay and that's cool, but for me that wasn't the case. So I think a day with k is a way of propelling myself into that space where people can see me as a respected journalist again in a sense, lifestyle journalists who's just you know, really looking for those really unique, fun stories that can really impact you. Guys.
I'm excited, I really am excited. Because even the idea of taking a daytime talk show, because that's what A Day with K is, and taking it to each city is, I don't think anyone has ever done that before.
You can count them dead ass. The elis is to do something people ain't done before.
Do something very different, different. Yeah, because I think it was.
A matter of Josh one of them had pointed out to us that A Day with K is a daytime talk show because it's filmed in front of a live studio audience. It just so happens that the live studio audience happens to be the auditorium that we've curated with these people. So it's like we're filming a live daytime talk show in each individual city.
It's dope. It's just dope.
And focusing on their local artists, their local entrepreneurs just gives an opportunity for those some of those cities who never get to shine, to actually be upfront, you know, just be upfront and be on the forefront of all of these different things.
I'm excited.
The biggest question is because Deval was like trying to convince me of this, but I'm like, I don't know if it's going to work. So if you guys were at one of our shows this past February, one of our Love against the World tour shows, yes, it made sense for us to do a play on Devusher and Kansi because of course we were coming off of Usher's residency the super Bowl, then him announcing his world tour, and then you had Beyonce on the Renaissance tour. So it made sense for us to do kind of a
spoof but a dance routine around it. I feel like you need to open a routine. I feel like you need a little something. It don't kind of be a full on dance with dances and costume changes and everything, but you need something. So if you vote for me to have a dance, I'm gonna listen to y'all because I was the first one to be like, I am not dancing.
A hold on, can I put this in? Just put this in.
You are not dancing in the leotar because that leotard got swallowed. And one thing we stretched, one thing we learned about, like performances and stuff. There's a reason why dancers do full choreography in their cost.
Beforehand.
Yes, because had we known that your ass was going to swallow up that leotar. We probably would have made some adjustments, but we didn't. You didn't dance until in that full uniform, until you got there the day off. Yes, but I'm just putting this out there as your executive producer slash husband, that you will not be doing no performances in the leotar.
That's no more.
We retired that TD Cakes.
TD Cakes is not going to be performing anymore.
Gave you that it was great, that it was great. I'm gonna leave it up to y'all. If y'all want to see me do a little you know, eight count situation whatever like that, I do it. But it's going to retire that.
I'm just sitting here telling you I'm excited because even when I think about daytime TV, but also.
Is it called late night television?
Yeah, I feel like you you move more towards late night television because even some of the jokes you say that even some of the things you do as a as a woman and a mom and a wife, it's not always daytime friendly.
No, like you're gonna you still gonna be k Yes, that's.
A good point to me because I know, yeah, because when you hear like journalistic approach, and you hear like lifestyle journalism. I don't want y'all feel like it's gonna be something stuffy, right and we're gonna sit and watch these long packages like that's not what That's not what it's gonna be. I'm still gonna be kk I'm still gonna be true to who I am, gonna be true to dead ass. I'm still gonna be dropping it, and y'all, y'all have to come prepared to be able to reciprocate
that it's gonna be. You want the same energy, you want the same energy. I want y'all coming there, turning up, and it's gonna be a good It has to be a good time. But I want it to be a thing where you're gonna have so many emotions that you feel that evening. I want a couple of tears, because you have a couple of tears, because you can relate a couple. I want you to scream, I want you to dance. I want all the things.
It's going to be a mix of Sherry. She's hilarious, but because she has that comedic aspect and she's funny and she gets out there and does stuff, but also a mix between her and Tam because when you look at what Tam has done in the journalist space, in the journalism space, like she's a legend.
So it will be like a mix of the two.
So be ready to come have fun and joke around and laugh, but also listen to some stories that makes you be like wow, like I didn't know that that was that important. But and also it won't be daytime because it's not gonna be PG like That's why I'm saying, it's more like late nights, you know what I'm saying, more like late night now. And have there been many women who've done late night television? Most of the time is men.
No, Like you have Jimmy Kimmel, you have, we don't watch. But there was woman at the time.
There was a young woman who had a late night show for a little bit during the pandemic. I can't remember her name. She was an influencer at first, and they put her on late night. I remember it was Lily Sing. Lily Sing had a late night show. But even on her late night show, she did skits.
You know.
She had a part where she had did like a little dance routine that was part of a skit. And when I think about what Lily Sing was doing in the late night space, I'm kind of like that reminds me of k I just feel like you're more journal You do way more journalism than Lily Sing because she was a comedian. She was a host, so she was being a host and a comedian. And although you can be funny, you're rooted in the truth and you're rooted in what the message is going.
To be about the story is but.
Doing it in a funny way.
So if we had to go again, we would have to say it would be Barbara Walters slash Oprah, slash Tam slash Chrry Seppard slash Lily Sing.
It's all of that wrapped up.
Slash beyond little little sprinklings slash Beyonce. And you you are a little ratchets. So you got little Cardi, a little Cardi or is it more Nicki Minaje Cardi b Or is it little Kim Little? Because matter of fact, that was little, that was its more little Kim.
It was my era.
Yeah, it's more little. It's a mix of all of those things.
And because you Caribbean, you could throw a little Rihanna in there because you're gonna be a billionaire and I need that break.
I'll be a little a sap on the side. I'm gonna be chilling on.
The side, like that's my baby, You're gonna come.
If I'm not filming, I will definitely be in the building. I'm definitely gonna be back there with my headsets and our lights.
Can we get the lights down? K need lights.
I'm excited. I'm excited to curate the team. I mean, I also even just think, shout out to my team. Man. I'm thinking about how much fun we had on tour for Love against the World with our crew. You know, we had a couple of changes to the crew, but it's like all great changes. I'm excited to see how we're going to curate this experience for y'all. You know, just just just tell me more, tell me more, because
I've seen a lot of you. And Triple has also mentioned it too, that people write in like, you know, what's K doing with this? And can we see K do that? Now? Is your opportunity, y'all. I'm asking you, I'm asking you what you want to see more of because I'm dedicating this portion of my life for the foreseeable sable future into really seeing what this is going to look like for me as I propel myself into
those spaces that I've always wanted to be in. And it really just also takes me back to thinking about being a high school student, high school graduate and really being on the fence about what I wanted to do with my life and how I was going to tell my family that I did not want to carry the medical field of torch and having the courage to say I'm not doing it inventional way, you know, doing one year local at Acunity College and then getting into a
program where I'm doing communication, and for me, this is like very personal too. It's very personal because it's me proving to myself as well that I can do this. I even admitted to the crew last night that I am actually terrified to do this in a.
Sense, I'm happy terrified.
Do you want to know why you've been terrified to do a lot of things over this past year and delivered. I'm going to start because turning forty, you said, when we got the opportunity to walk in Fashion Week for the first.
Time, oh my god, terrified.
This and this is the truth, guys, and this is why I'm so excited. There were times in our relationship where I felt bad because you over ten year spin you got pregnant four times, and I felt like, damn, I got pregnant five times. He got pregnant five times, and I felt like I got a chance to chase all of my dreams without any hesitation or any pause. And there were times where I would just look at you and just be like, she's dedicating this part of
her life to our family. I can't wait until all of this is done and she can get ready to dedicate her life to herself. And watching you over the past year, right starting with last summer, I know you guys have noticed how because these bodies changed, you changed your diet, You started going to the doctor more often,
You're eating completely different. You're working out every single day, even days like today when we do two podcasts, She's leaving here and going to work out, and it's like it's it's and when I mean workout, I mean just going to a gym and just doing squats. She's going to a sports performance gym where she is training like I trained when I was getting ready.
For full all that's a push for myself, like.
Doing high performance dynamic training, and I'm watching your body change, and I'm watching you age backwards. And you are going to be the representative of a woman who says, my dreams were deferred but never denied. I got everything I want out of life. Maybe I didn't get it at the same time, but I got it last year going into September, you were terrified to walk across that stage in fashion, and I watched you bust your ass to get in shape.
Bro Let me just paint the picture real quick for y'all. When we got to the Actively Black Fashion Show. You know, as a woman, naturally you get there and you're looking at the other women around you. Okay, some of whom I'm like, do you have any kids? Do you have any kids? Because it's just so natural thing that happens when you have children that you are hyper sensitive about how your body has changed and it's not the same.
And I got there into that room and I was like, man, I know I worked, but did I work enough?
You know?
Yeah? I got these stretch bards. There's twenty something year olds in here. You know, bodies are on point. Never had a kid in they day, And I really at that moment was terrified and then had the incident where my legs were bruised. Yeah, you know the morning of and you.
Know what happened when your back was against the wall and all odds were against you, you know what you did.
Push it through?
You showed up I did.
That's why I'm excited about you being nervous, because when you get nervous, you over prepare, which means if you're over preparing for this because you're nervous, they're going to get a show that they never never expected from you. That's why I'm excited, and I want to see people just be excited for you. Not excited for you as oh that's Devoo's wife. No, just excited for that's Kadem, that's KK. You know what I'm saying like that, I'm just excited about that.
I just I love that. Thank you, babe, Thank you, Thank you for always seeing me.
And knowing you You saw me, you supported me.
Yeah, and it really I'll be transparent with you guys in this moment and say, like a lot of the past decade, having children and coming back and stuff, it allowed for a little bit of I think self sabotage and self doubt to creep in because it made me feel like, all right, well, I'm pretty comfortable, like if I don't do another thing from a career perspective, pestionally, You've also made it clear that I would be okay, the family would be.
You don't have to do it right, I don't have to have any of this.
So I could easily be like, you know what, let me let this doubt and fair and you know, these these these insecurities that I may have, I can just sit in them, and I can just not do a live show, and we can just not do live shows anymore, and Devalu can go on to be an actor and I can be a wife and mom and continue to do my little brand partnerships and be a business woman. And I would have to be in this space. But what I'm doing is I'm forcing myself to step into
a bit of a discomfort zone. If you will, I look at my boys. I can't preach to them about conquering their fears and doing things outside of their you know, comfort zone if I'm not doing it, and I want to be deliberate and have the conversations with my boys and let them know your mom is about to do a show by herself, Like, do you know how nervous I am, but how excited I am for it too? And I want them to see the process through for me in the next couple months as I prepare for this.
That's important to me. You are about thank you, thank you.
I hope you know that, but I want that going to be un fucking real.
And I just wanted to be a motivation to anybody listening, man or woman or in between, like I want you to know that if you really feel inside that you can do it, don't let fear stop you, don't let doubt stop you. You know, I know that anybody in attendance in that building is going to be someone who came there specifically for me, who pay their money for
their ticket to see me. And I never take that for granted that you guys support us in so many ways, whether it's time, whether it's sharing, whether it's financially, whether it's you know, buying a book or buying a ticket, Like I really don't take any of that for granted. So I'm excited. I mean, I'm nervous, but in an excited kind of way.
So you know, as a fan, like I'm over here smiling. I don't over here. I can hear it, but I can't wait to like, like sit.
Back fan over here, y'all.
No, I can't wait to sit back and just watch.
Yeah, you know, because I've become a fan of yours as well. Whenever you do something without me, it's like I said, what happened, let me see you know, like when you wanted to go speak at Men's Choice, Like I want to see the video.
I want to you know what I'm saying. We sat here and worked on your speech, and you.
Have your own way of doing things, and I've learned to just be like, dang, like she really put that together. Like I'm controlling. I'm a control freak and I just I want everybody around me to do well. So I'm like, why don't you try this? Wyann't you do this? And you took a little piece in you like okay, okay,
not using that, Yeah, you're using this. And then to hear, no, to see these twenty two year old men who don't have kids, didn't have girlfriends run up on us when we went to this next event and give you a big hug and talk about something. Your speech was so dynamic and I'm just like, at twenty two, I wasn't listening to no women's speech thinking that it was dynamic. But these men, these young men ran up on you. Was like, oh my gosh, mister Ellis.
But you're right. Yeah, I spoken a More for Choice event, just shared my birthing story and how Devo was of support to me when I was pregnant and through my deliveries and all of that, and yeah, you're right. A couple of the young men after were just like, oh, miss Ellis, like you were so so dynamic.
It said you were dynamic. They came up to me, was like, your wife is funny, and I'm just like, dang.
I wish I would have been there to see it, because because one thing young men don't do now you're you're beautiful, you know, I get that. They didn't come up to me and be like, oh my god, your wife fine, because these.
Are young you know what I'm saying.
They came up to me and it was just like, man, your wife told her birthday story. Man, it was so dynamic and she's funny. Not once did they mention what you look like, which I understand at twenty two year old, that's the first thing you look at and a woman. But think about how many how many men right there, you've probably changed their perspective on what women.
Are and can be in any space.
Yeah, because you got up there and you you were very deliberated about how you were going to dress as well, which is me, which is why I love why you do everything you do because you're aware of everything. You're aware of who your husband is, You're aware of who you are, You're aware of who's going to be in the crowd. You even said to me, I'm not going to go with a skirt because if I'm standing on the if I'm standing on the stage and there's a podium, they're going to be looking up.
These are things that as a man, I've never even ever thought.
About, but these are things that you are like I'm going to and I guess that goes back to your pageant days because you've done this before. But I cannot wait until people get a chance to see you, like in all of you and just know there's going to be so many more opportunities after this, Like.
It's going to be it's already been delivered.
God, He's literally like now it's the time, and like you said something. Being deferred and not denied is so major, I think for so many components of our life, because there have been moments where were just like, damn, why didn't that work out?
Why?
And you don't question it after a while, like when you get to this maybe it's an age thing, or you just get to enough life experience you just realize that, like, man, I'm not going to question anymore why something didn't happen moment because I was not ready to receive that blessing. But I feel like God is walking me into a space where I am ready or he's saying ready or not, sis, He's kind of like it ain't really to ready or not. And I also think about the span of which you
guys have gotten to know me. It's been about what eight years. Cairo was about to be eight, so it's been about eight years. And for the most part, most people have seen Kadeine the wife, the mom, and been pregnant, yeah, wife, the mom, you know, and coming back in between pregnancies
and stuff. But it's a whole side of me that people don't even know, that people have not experienced, and that is a portion that I'm excited to let you guys into a little bit because I feel like that portion of my life was curated for social media and for a purpose because it worked at that time. But it was really at the root of it, Deval trying to expand his career as an actor, and then me trying to expand my career as a host, journalist, all
of that good stuff. So this is going to be the perfect place in space to do that.
And be very deliberate. You're not just the host. You are a journalist. You went to school for this. You had to take exams and pass tests and go through rigors to get your master's degree, graduated cum laude, right to do what you do. And I think that's important to when people even think about dead ass podcasts and like people say, it's just something different about that as podcasts.
Feel like I learned so much in part because we have a producer in Trouble who always make sure that when we speak on something, we speak on something in a factual manner. It's not always based on opinions. We give our opinions about what we think. But that portion about facts and stacks was deliberate because this is also a part of journalism. It's not just about what we think about everything, and I think that's what's missing in
today's society. You know, everyone has a platform, yes, but have you done any research to see if your words or what you're sharing or spewing to the general public is going to be helpful or hurtful?
Right?
Or what you're consuming there's already fact. But you know how many times I've heard people come to me and say, you saw that this, this is that happen, and I was like, did it really happen? And then you come to find a literally didn't happen. It was just something that was completely false, just saying it, just to say it. So yeah, that being said, I'm excited to spend some time with y'all. Be on the lookout for lots of announcements coming up in the near future about what A
Day with K is going to look like. Dead Ass Podcast presents a Day with K, and I'm looking forward to curating a really, really awesome evening with you guys in your respective cities. So get excited. We're going to roll out the cities soon and you know, get those tickets on and popping.
I got my moment of truth. So after we do this moment.
All right, cool, wonderful, wonderful. All right, let's take a quick break. We're going to pay some bills and we're going to get back into some list of letters, because of course we have never had an episode with that one, so stick around. All right, we're back. Let's dive into some listener letters. Do you want to go first, babe, I'll go first, baby, Okay? Cool?
What's up? Kadeen and Duvou?
First off, absolutely love you guys. I'm low key scared to meet child because I may ugly. You are like my big brother and sister in my head, and I appreciate the guidance you provide me. I've been in therapy for four years now and have the same therapists. Absolutely love her and she has played a huge part in my mental health journey. Ninety nine percent of the time. I'm receptive and take accountability to do the work, But there is this one specific thing I can't seem to
adjust my therapist has wanted me to work on. I'm a single, childless, thirty six year old who does is this Yeah, does desire marriage and family. I'm also okay if it doesn't happen, and my therapist thinks I should consider a man who could be walking on in his purpose and enjoys what he does. Example, she uses a teacher but doesn't make a lot of money, but is able to take care of himself. For me, would he be able to take on more than himself with that
same income in a growing economy? For me, it's not about an actual dollar amount, but about mindset. I value stability in partnership, so I'm not looking to put sole responsibility on the man, but I do hope to have a partner with a growth mindset. I was raised very similar to you both as far as two working parents households, but only two kids. Could definitely use that third sibling in the world, so my values are also rooted in that.
And two, I've had to watch and financially help my older by ten years struggling married with kids and dang ten plus years now, wait help my older by ten years struggling old must be SI sibling married with kids for ten plus years now, and believe a lot of my desires are coming from there as well, me not wanting to experience that. I understand that my sister's husband, Yeah,
that's what we're talking about. Literally watches her struggle, be depressed, scrape by and lean on me and my parents and doesn't blink an eye. That's why she feels the way she is fucking corny. At the end of the day, accountability is on my sister for being and staying in this situation. Very true, But I do what I can now with boundaries solely for my nieces. I understand that marriage will have seasons where it's not always going to look the same as far as fifty to fifty, eighty twenty,
et cetera. I'm not looking for them to have a certain number, but I can't see myself with a partner who would be okay with struggling and or just barely making it long term. I do all for myself now and will continue to work towards growth. I'm naturally driven and ambitious, so big brow and big systs. Should I compromise on my values or should I tell my therapist to shut that shit up?
Shut that shit up, therapist? How dare you tell somebody that they should lower their sandals, their standards and just settle. That's just literally a recipe for disaster. Lowering your standards settling for somebody who is not in a growth mindset, and you have to end up struggling the fact that you said that you're thirty six desire marriage and children, but you are okay if it doesn't happen. I think is a good mindset to have. Yeah, yeah, because that's crazy.
I agree to me. The mindset is more important than the dollar amount. A growth mindset means that no matter what amount of money you make, you're always in a position where you're trying to get more, which means you could be a multi millionaire, but you're like, hey, I want to continue to grow. And a growth mindset also allows you to be with a person, a person who
welcomes change. You know, it's hard to be stuck with someone who only wants to be where they are in that moment, because if you like to grow, which it seems like she likes to grow, how can you sit there and settle with someone who doesn't. At this point, it's not even about the dollar amount. It's about the ability to.
Change, to change much as.
I wouldn't settle at all.
Absolutely not, And that is literally going to lead to resentment. Yes, I can tell you right now, if you speak to your sister, she probably resents her husband, yes, or watching her struggle and scrape and scrap around, And yeah, I've experienced this with family members. I've witnessed similar situations happen. And I think you're doing the right thing where you say you can now solely help to provide for your nieces because they're here innocently based off of their parents,
and they shouldn't have to struggle as well either. So I have been in spaces where I was deliberate, deliberate about supporting or providing for somebody specifically within the household, because that's the person I care to provide for, and then everybody else around that was there picking ass, not doing shit all day. Well, y'all had to figure that
shit out. I'm going to help what I need to help or want to help in this moment, because if not, all you're doing is further coddling the situation and giving them a level of comfort that they're not ever going to get out of. They're going to be relying on you till that kingdom comes. So yeah, tell your therapists that we ain't about that life. We're not about to settle. I agree you should not have to compromise on your
values and who's meant for you. As you continue to walk in your purpose of who you are, they'll meet you. They'll meet you.
Can I say this too?
We do live in a time now with social media that a lot everyone has the ability to have a platform, which is fine.
Right, Just stay with me for a minute. How many people there on the earth.
Let's just say it's six billion, right, six billion are not going to be overachievers. What's happening now is that I noticed that a lot of people who are overachievers, who aspire more, they're now being shamed.
You know, you work too much. Your mental health is going to suffer. You think you're better than people.
You should be comfortable being average, or be comfortable not trying.
Or you're part of Illuminati. Did you hear that Kevi on stage just recently posted you said he first, he got his first like Illuminati comments or something like that. I agree with him, though, and I'm just like, Okay, I agree with it.
But that's the mindset of these people that I'm talking about. No, for sure the minute now, you you had to worship the devil to get that. No, I just worked harder. Yeah, I thought more.
It's a way for people to validate their mediocrity. Yes, and validate the stuff that you're not doing, because people are consistent, and they're working hard, and they're as every day every day, and it eventually starts to come to fruition whatever it is you see the fruits of your labor.
So, Mama, this is what I will tell you. If you're listening to majority of the world who is going to tell you that it's okay to just settle, don't listen to them because it doesn't seem like anything you've ever done in your life has been about settling. So if you haven't settled in any aspect of your life, do not settle when it comes to picking a partner that you want to live the rest of your life with. I don't care how many people tell you your standards are too high.
I don't care.
Those people will never have to walk a mile in your shoes because they're your shoes.
Period.
Go get what you want. And here's another thing. Say you don't get married and you don't have kids. You've worked your ass off, you can afford to adopt.
It's given rich Auntie to You can afford.
To just have you a couple guys that you play with if you need to get your rocks knocked off a little bit.
You know what I'm saying, Like what I'm saying is right.
What I'm saying is if you want to be swapped, don't don't settle because other people are telling you you should be comfortable settling.
Therapist, I don't care. You know in your heart what you want.
Don't let people shame you for warning more from yourself or more out of your person. At the same time, don't shame people who don't want more. We're not shaming them. You know what you want the same way I know what I want. And when you know what you want, go out and get it because you deserve it.
Period poo. All right on to the next one. My husband and I are hardworking to pay off a three hundred thousand dollars debt, mostly business debt, half of which has amassed from specifically a bad business deal with an immediate family member on my side who left us with all the bills and no help after one year in business. Yikes. We both now work corporate jobs making four hundred k a year. As a household my husband was self employed
for a year trying to manage the businesses. He also has a property that he also has a property that he doesn't do a good job managing, so we pay its mortgage while no one is living there. It's not familiar. Yeah, you know somebody else has been through this. It needs repairs before we can sell it. His family has lived there in the past when needing to get on their feet, but never paid us. My husband lacks the focus to rent it out, being that he now works full time.
All of this is very stressful individually. I wish he could take charge of it all. But take charge of all of this, but I'm the more detail oriented partner and the realist slash warrior, while he is more of the constant optimist. How do we say hopeful and keep this from splitting us apart? Signed Sleepless and newlywed hood and married man.
Well, the first thing, the first thing stop doing is stop saying your family my family, because that creates resentment. You know, your family got us into this deal, but your family lived in this house. When you start the blame game, that's when it becomes more personal. And you guys have married your one union, so it's both your family. So deal with the fact that both of your families are fucked up freeloaders. So what and here's your truth? No, seriously, you guys make four hundred K year.
I don't know. Did she say they have kids?
I didn't see. They're new the weed, so maybe they don't do.
Don't have kids?
You make four hundred k year after taxes, you you know they're probably going to tax you. I don't know how they pay their taxes, but at least forty percent, you know what I'm saying.
So that's what one hundred and sixty k out of it.
So you make two hundred and forty which is twenty thousand dollars a month you make.
The first thing you should do.
Since you have business debt is try to invest as much as you can front paying off that business debt because that's a tax right off, which means if you pay that business debt up front and.
Tax right off, you'll get it back in your taxes.
That's a good point.
Yeah. And then and once you put the business debt up front.
And then pay all of your bills afterwards, you'll have more money to get that done with. For example, if you make five dollars, right, you make five dollars and you pay all your bills first, and then you save and do everything like that. They're going to tax you higher because you had no ride offs. You have five dollars and you have this two dollars tax debt, and you pay that first. Now they're only going to tax you on three dollars. So then you pay your taxes
and then pay your bills. So the taxes on the three dollars, of course, would be less than the taxes on the five dollars. So what you have to do is put that business debt up front, let the government know that you're paying off business debt. Use the current money that you have to pay off the business debt, and then now you'll get tax at the lower rates, so you have more money to use for your personal expenses. That's the biggest thing I can give you. That's just
a business thing. Because they seem like they're a young company, you're.
Young couple trying to figure things out. Yeah, she also said, no, no, finish your thought.
What I was going to say is on top of that, that's just from the financial aspect, on top of the communication aspect. They should have every day at the end of the night, where are we financially what are we trying to do as a family moving forward, but also what are we trying to do for ourselves? Because if everything is always a focus on the business debt and your family did this, and my family did this, especially as newlyweds, your focus is only on the.
Negative, right, and on the finance portion of it, because that seems to be where a lot of couples, you know, fall apart.
They said eighty percent of couples that get divorced get divorced not because of infidelity, because of financial issues and woes. You can avoid some of that, like I said before, by putting a plan in place to pay that debt down, but also using part of that money to still love on each other.
Yeah.
You know, if you make twenty thousand dollars a month, and that's after taxes, you make twenty thousand dollars after a month, Let's say your mortgage is five thousand a month, that's fifteen You got two card notes, that's another three thousand dollars, and you got twelve thousand dollars that you can still use. Okay, you got to pay a little bit of bills here. Okay, say you put three thousand
dollars towards bills and food and stuff. You still have nine thousand dollars a month that you can use, right, you spend five thousand to pay off that debt. Four thousand dollars a month is for you, guys, to save.
And do things that you can haven't build with.
I gave them all the biggest numbers out right, But with that four thousand thousand a month, forty eight thousand dollars.
For a year, you can travel and enjoy your.
Life, do something and kid on those state nights. Like, yeah, you do need to pour into your marriages born to you, and I also want to say, as newlyweds, there's also like a sacrificial period that I feel like most couples have when they're starting their life together. Deval and I had it. We always say the first five years of our marriage was just really difficult. We two had financial struggles and things that we were trying to work through as well, but at the root of it, we knew
that we wanted to stay together. We had a new baby at the time, Like that was the core of it. Was trying to work around it. Your husband saying he lacks focus because he has a full time job, people have two full time jobs, people have a full time at a part time job. Let the focus be full time job. But then when you clock out, this is a priority if you guys want to get out of
that dead. So maybe having the conversation with him saying Babe, I know that full time work can be a lot and it can be stressful, but in the time that we have or the time that we create, there needs to be a plan to get this space rented out so we're not paying to mortgages or in a mortgage, or there needs to be a way to offset some of that cost and take on that responsibility as well. And this is another thing in closing, it'd be hard to go into business with family.
Facts.
It's so hard to go into business with family. And it's hard to be in business with people who you look view as family too sometimes because when things fall apart, chiall, they can fall apart and they may be irreupparable. So shout out to you guys for writing and thank you so much and good luck as y'all continue to work off this debt while staying together and.
Stop letting your family stay in that house and not pay rent. That's unfair. To you guys.
Man, you guys are working hard, make good money. Yeah, don't don't let that like that's too stressful. It's too stressful. Man. When you have business, make sure that you get LLCs and do everything above board. Protect yourself, especially with dealing with family. Have contracts so that there's no arguments. But you said, fuck what we said contract pay all that paper?
When does your family do that?
So we got a baby crying, we gotta go. No, just kidding, all right, y'all. If you want to be featured as a listener letter, email us at dead ass Advice at gmail dot com.
That's d E A D A S S A d V I c E at gmail dot com.
And also use that email as well. Put in the subject so Tripple will know a day with K like suggestion or a day with K I did. If there's something that you guys want to share, If you know a local business, you know somebody who could be great for the show, pop that in there as well.
Once again, So just to be clear, we are coming to Chicago, we're coming to la we are going to Florida, and we are going to Houston.
So we'll see you in September.
Baby cannot wait. All right, y'all, moment of truth time. We're talking a day with K and what that's going to look like. Okay, so you said you had a moment in the beginning of the show. Sorry, go ahead.
This is the most selfish moment of truth ever.
What is it? You want to see me? The lea tard again? I know, No, don't worry all the Lea's ours. Let's be clear that SI he had me aware for the show. I have in my fun box, which I like to call it, have a drawer.
You do have a fun box?
You felt like, how could you say that that was going.
To be too quick? And forget who I'm talking alongside? I have a fun drawer, so fun drawers to come on?
Try another one, fun box ant fun draws and.
Try it again. What do you got?
I have a fun area in my class be fun that I have been recycling those outfits with.
But yeah, seriously, I cannot wait to brag about my wife.
Even more than you do already.
Oh no, no, no, no, no no no. You think I was bragging?
Now wait until you are on tour selling out theaters and I cannot wait. Like I look at the way jay Z looks at Beyonce. You know what I'm saying.
I look at the way a Sap looks at Rihanna. I just look. I look at some of these men who have careers in their own right.
Joey bad sincerit. They're like my newest like young couple.
I love remember watching.
The Essence Black Women in Hollywood. Beautiful couple, and they just are so into each other, and I love it.
It's great.
It's great to be a man and have your own career and your your own greatness and your own right.
But to be able to say, like, that's my wife.
You know what I'm saying, Like, I can't wait for people to be like, oh, Yukas, Yeah, yeah.
That's that's how I feel. Is your wife. I'm like my husband.
That's why I can't wait.
I can't wagest fans since you were eighteen, right, it's crazy. My moment of truth is pretty simple. I literally could not do this without you, guys, like I literally could not you devour shout out to the team Josh, Matt and Tripple who are here every month doing the Dead Ass podcast and then who have also spoken so much life into me. And and and make me believe even more in my that I'm capable of this. Brian Jordan Junr, who recently added the team, be added to the team
for the Love Against the World tour. Just so many you know, my glam team. Everybody just like pours into me and praise over me, and I'm so grateful for them. I'm grateful for y'all for listening, for watching. Thank you, and I look forward to seeing you in this new space, in this new era of Kadeen as I introduce you to more of me slowly but surely slowly. But no, it's not the fun box, for the fun drawer or
the fun anything. It's all the fun all right, all right, But be sure you bring the fun to me when we have our shows. And also be sure to follow us on Patreon if you have not been doing so yet, subscribe so that you can see all exclusive content between dead Ass podcasts, video, Elli's family content, a Day with K and then of course that's going to be uh well, a Day with K content as well, and just more
family content there. You can follow us on social media also dead Ass the podcast, and you can find me at Kadeen I.
Am and I am devout and if you listen on Apple Podcasts, be sure to rate, review and subscribe.
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