EITM: Nature (Calls) Boy 6/25/25

Current server, former server.

I've been a server all my life and I am currently still a server.

Excellent, excellent. I like to hear that, and now let me oh, you know what. I like that you've done it your whole life because you probably know the answer to this. Then I want I want to give you a scenario. And I don't know if you're if you if you are trained in what to do, or if it's on the job training where it happens and you learn what to do. Okay, Okay, So I'm just going to use So we're we're We're in Kansas City, and

Need one of us to be the example. Who do we want it to be?

Who do we want to what's going to happen?

Yeah, well it doesn't matter. It's this is for our server to this for Kim to figure out.

All right, Diane, Now the example eli lady's choice.

Okay.

The only reason I like it being me is I'm the most like on likely one where this would happen.

Okay, then I'll volunteer. Kristen.

What is the servers trained to do if somebody at the table soils themselves.

Actually, this has happened?

Is it anybody I know? Please say laslow?

I wish I could.

It was an older man that I was working at a Mexican restaurant and he had way too many Margarita's and urinated while he was sitting there at.

The bar stool.

And we I mean, I don't think there's no there's no training like no, that never comes back.

That's on the job, on the job right right.

For sure. I noticed it.

People sitting around him noticed it, and I went to the manager, and the manager kind of freaked out, and so I went over and got.

A couple other servers to come back me up, and.

We just went and got a bunch of towels, and I think we went. Yeah, we went and got a big apron, like a longer apron from the kitchen and wrapped it around him, kind of tried not to make a big deal out of it, and escorted him outside and called him a.

Cab When when when you say you tried not to make a big deal out of it, was the big white apron wrapped around him.

You're right, I mean you can't just that was my last ditch effort that I don't know.

No, but I liked that, Like you got him out there. I love that you got him into a cab and got him home safely. That's a that's a credit to you.

Yeah, I mean you know, I mean if it would have been number two, I don't think I could have been able to handle that.

But oh all right, all right, very good, Kim. I appreciate it. Thank you, ma'am.

A day.

You got to talk to you later.

One for one, has everybody to who's been a server dealt with someone and I don't mean a child, I mean an adult.

Maybe if you've been in the field long enough.

Yeah, she said she'd done it forever.

Like if I call my buddy Vaughan, who is who is a lifelong waiter. He's a career waiter, but he worked for he worked with Menino in Vegas.

He works at Voltaggio.

Brothers at at National Harbor, at National Harbor, would he be like, oh, yeah, ah, yeah, sadly, yes, just based on one call and just go get that apron.

I feel that way too. It's a tummy cape.

The Also we're also we're also missing a key component here.

What do you mean and Kim mentioned it.

So we're not focusing on iman.

Is there a big difference with assisting or I don't know what you call it, being trained, whatever it is on how you deal with one and how you deal with two.

Oh we're missing what could be another type?

She said she couldn't handle it.

To me, it's easier to handle two than one, unless it's if it's.

Three, then you got problems. Christ what is three diarrhea? Oh God, because then you got piss ass. But if it's if somebody.

I would rather deal with one than two?

No way, yes, es, no way. Your that is packed in there.

We are, we are are far out of the diaper changing years.

You forget how bad it could have been.

Okay, I'm not saying that that she was going to lay the patron down and pull his pants down and hold him up by the ankles and clean him.

No, but I'm just saying, like, nine times out of ten, two was one hundred times worse than.

One on a child. This is an adult.

I think an adult too. I mean the smell, so what you're wet?

The okay, diet? Do me a favor?

Would I what would I rather do?

I would one hundred times, rather pee myself than crap myself.

Oh, you are so wrong, You're out of your mind.

Wouldn't you rather crap yourself?

No?

No, because according to you, so what I know.

I'm not saying so what.

It's bad, it's mortifying, but I'd rather do what I'd rather do one than two.

I bet most of the time. Minus say, hey, did some just die in here? You wouldn't even know.

Okay, why are you so convinced that it's contained too?

Unless it's three?

No?

No, If you have, you're seeing a big brown spot.

Any material.

That's how I know what side my pants go on.

But if the person's also not wearing something with a cuff, it's not staying in the pant.

Or the shorts.

Oh, I imagine dress.

We've all seen those videos. You're also only thinking of a man for some reason. Women crap the same way, thank you. So they could have a skirt or a dress on or anything. It's not and I dressed up. Do you know how bothered I would be if I was following Diane and she's got a skirt on and the next thing I see is a bluuke.

Oh canimal?

But you're still taking I'm just wet. Hell, yeah, does Kristen making a majority? Are you taking one of one?

One or two? One or two? Two?

Kristens you she said, not three?

No, No, three you're out. Three, you're out.

No. You know why, I think Christian's with me. And I'm trying not to be like I'm trying to you know what, because when I think of three or not not three? Whoa, When I think of two, I don't think of it falling out. I think of it almost as like like like you're like you're like you're like like like you're you're calking your butt crap.

But you're making it seem like the server wouldn't even know if there was another No, I mean, the smell would kill you.

The smell would kill you.

There's gonna be as Diane said, I've got a big brown spot.

I can't believe, and we know what number ile it is. Yeah, and Diana, people spill cups all the time at restaurants. Oh so just liquid.

So you think that if I if I piss myself, I go, oh, like you just start grabbing water glasses on the table and just tilt them on you.

Yeah, crap, I meant there used to liquid messes.

Yes, sprite ice tea, that's I'll take it all day over strangers. You're it, I'm taking h you want strangers Europe? I said that, yes, over iced tea.

Or sprite Okay.

I was like, oh my god, let me take you to a restaurant and then just have some piss on you.

We were revoting because Kristen had had changed her mind.

Line one, Hi Elliet in the morning.

Hey me, Yeah, Hi server, server and bartoner.

Yes, okay, as a server, I'm sure.

Yeah, I got you the number one. By the way, first of all, not two or three. I'm fully on her side, not your guys side.

Have you ever had to deal with drug?

Have you ever?

Have you ever had to deal with it from the server side?

So, yes, and I worked. I was in Baltimore City and I worked a lot, like high end restaurants in the city, and people for corporate function let's say, or business dinners. They'll eat stuff they're not just eat whether it's different intolerances and it's number two, it's always number three. But most server, yeah, it's crazy. Most servers at a high end place, we don't get dressed before we go to work. They have outfit there for us. So we have black slacks and have black dresses, we have all

And of course I would. Of course I would.

Hey, you wearing khakis, but.

If someone's wearing black dress pants versus dark navy dress pants.

Notice, no, that's fair.

No, I wouldn't.

By the way, I like that it is a high end restaurant. And you're right, it's like, now I'm out. I'm eating like this rich food that I'm not accustomed.

To eating I don't normally have.

Yes, I just crushed some Baharahi and some Flagra and apples, and Katie bar the door, Hey who's got pants?

Exactly if he whispered the say, I think your wife called the restaurant, talk to you, and then he gets up on the table and you make it know they deal. We were trained that way. It is. There is training for that, and there's training for a lot worse scenarios as well. But we have extra shoes, extra pans, and even though it costs us money, it's really incremental. But the servers actually get a lot better tips after the fact.

For saving Yanks.

You just gave me non s filled pants and you got me out of the dinner without everybody going.

Like, oh my god it of course, of course that's great, Thank you, sir. Thank you.

This season on the Bear by the way, that's my new question for every hostess.

Do you have black pants in case in case things go south? You got extra pants back there?

How about that trained for it and they have it, And I like how he says it's at high end restaurants, So now I'm thinking of like high end restaurants.

Yes, oh, they're gonna love this shout out.

Yeah no, no, dude, I'll tell you the first one I thought of, the one where the three of us went that Cafe Fiorello at tenth in Pennsylvania. They have extra you're wondering, so they have extra pants now twenty nine.

You know they have extra pants as.

They approach the table. They have the allergy question before we start. Yeah, you have a before we start question as well. Where are you on a cheese cart?

I don't know where are you?

Where are you on these sized pants? Hi?

Elliott in the morning? Hello, Yeah, Hi, who's this?

Hello?

Yes, sir, this is Mike.

I've been a simmer for forty years.

Forty years. Excellent?

See it all.

Hey have you have you had? Have you had a customer? Soil?

So?

I have two things to tell you. Once down and Nax said. I was working at a rob restaurant and a gentleman drank two Manhattans and blew up the bathroom with the number three as you call it, and I had to go clean it up. And then I was working at an ee hoop in Kainesville and the guy had number two but it actually went on the floor in my section, and everyone in my section left on a Sunday morning.

Oh Sunday, And you know they waited forty minutes for that table.

Oh man, it was you know, what can I do?

I meant, you know, you just clean up and keep moving.

All I could think of is and I fish horrible, like the like my I told you this, my I Hop that I go to at fifty and Adale. My guy's only got like the two fingers and so he'd have to almost use it like a litter stick.

Well, I just like to tell you I really enjoy your show.

And thank you.

This is a topic that a lot of l unfortunately.

Thank you, Thank you, sir.

Jesus Christ.

Uh.

Think about that next time you're going into a restaurant and you've got somebody who you know, has experience here that they've seen some things.

By the way, I.

Didn't ask, but I'll bet I'll bet my life there's not extra pants at the eye Hop.

That's what I am going to think about every time I eat out. Hey, you get to set up, you know, like an elementary school and nurses office extra outfit.

Hi Elliott in the morning. Yeah, Hi, who's that?

This is Patrick from Richmond. I've been Fronthouse server for about ten years now.

Oh there you go. Ten years? Have you have you had a customer soil?

Uh?

Luckily, luckily enough, I have not encountered that, not like in my section, at my table or anything, but at the restaurant that I'm currently working at There's a large outdoor area and we have had guests who have had too much to drink, and they relieve themselves out near the picnic tables, out on the grass, out on the lawn, little kids dropping their pants and going number two. Yep, yep.

That sounds like there's intent though for those Yeah, because they don't want to go inside.

It's all inside.

You're crapping your pants, you're pissing your pants. But can I ask a question though, because you go to a ton of breweries, yeah, and a lot of them are like like like and stuff.

Our kids tissing the yard all the time.

I have never seen before God, thank god. You may have a dog go, well, yeah, that'll happen.

But I've never seen I've actually never even seen an adult kind of scurry off into the woods.

So at lonok, you've never seen Malay go over to the side panty aside and go.

I was talking about patrons.

So.

Oh Malay, oh yeah, piles Hi Elliet the morning.

There's another enemy at Channel four.

Hello, good morning, how are you guys?

I'm well, thank you? How are you Okay?

So I actually have a pretty funny story about twenty years ago. I worked at a retirement community. So they have all these different dining rooms. And this was a white table coth but not too too fancy. But it was a very large dining room. The volume of people was you know, it was a lot. So following this gentleman with a tray of drinks.

He's at his walker.

He starts walking.

Slower and slower and slower, and he just stops. I stopped behind him. He lifts his leg to the side, shakes its turn, rolls right on out.

And what do you do?

Oh my god, I bet laugh.

Is an eye on the list.

I like the flowing of the past.

Yeah, he knew it was coming.

And just kept on going.

You know what, just whisper in his ear, And I mean you got to get him back to his room, right.

Uh no, I mean that it was a retirement for there was an independent living. So he just went on home.

See y'all later, see it for dinner service.

Oh my god, thank you.

Well they're taking more. That's a for you.

The no, no, no, no, well, I mean it's because we're learning.

Hi Elliott in the morning, Hey, hey doing I am doing well. Thank you. You were a server obviously.

Yeah, I've served for forty years.

Oh wow, another career server. I love it.

Have you had to deal with a with a patron that soiled themselves?

Well I have a couple of times, actually, But what the first thing that came to her mind is I used to work out a buffee and people used to throw up all the time. I guess, I guess they just thought they were they wanted to get their worth.

Okay, that's not soiling. But that's awesome, all right, very good, very good, thank you, thank you, and thank you Rick Flair.

What So, that's how I stumbled on this.

Apparently Rick Flair has been escorted out of so many restaurants in Tampa from like I don't know water Street in Tampa, but apparently he likes water Street and he soils himself all the time. My god, no, because a lot of people on Reddit backed it up, not just seeing it, both servers and patrons who are like, oh, I don't smell that too,