What’s the best way to round off 39 hours of no sleep? Invite 7 young girls round for your daughter’s birthday sleepover, that’s how! Were there tears? Of course! Did said tears belong to Elis or the kids? Listen to find out. Elsewhere we’re answering the question, ‘is mid-October too early to be talking about Christmas?’ Not in these parts it ain’t, as Elis makes a startling claim about Irish wishlists and John questions the role Santa played in his childhood festivities. All this, plus what co...
Oct 14, 2025•1 hr 4 min
This show has been many things, but right now this a cockles podcast. Elis’s homecoming show in Swansea was very much tied to whether he could get cockles at breakfast which sets us off on a cockle rollercoaster. But will Dave like them? There’s also a very intense Ask Us Anything, and a 1.5 times playing of the jingle. Plus, what meat would you eat betwixt the sheets? To get in touch with the show, email hello@elisandjohn.com For lots of exclusive EJJR #content, join our Patreon at patreon.com/...
Oct 10, 2025•45 min
If there was an award given out for the ‘Most Tense Moment in the Final Round of a Game Made Up by a Listener’, then this show would win it. Fresh from their triumph at the British Podcast Awards, Elis and John look to add another trophy to the cabinet by creating a moment so contentious and dramatic that it requires the use of VAR; Voice Assisted Referee. Away from the Made Up Game hijinks there’s week-late-Ryder Cup chat, a revelatory story about the lengths a young Dave Masterman went (litera...
Oct 07, 2025•1 hr 7 min
It’s 3 croaky voices in the studio today because Elis and Dave have Oasised once again, and poor old John is unwell. Luckily that means a general vibe alignment is struck, but, crucially, the standards do not slip. For Elis and Dave both have tales of struggling to get out of Wembley, and John wonders which of his awards would be best suited to beating off an intruder. The other overriding question of the day is would you rather visit historical moments as a person or as a ghost? If that doesn’t...
Oct 03, 2025•51 min
Having conquered the earthly plane, Elis and John are taking to the skies. Can they become the first podcast to be recorded entirely in space? Or will the anecdote well run dry too quickly? Back down on Earth there’s a debut trip to Birch Services for Johnny JR, Elis is positively giddy after the pair run round the natural sights of Llandudno, and we hear one of the greatest shame-inducing lines in a cracking Shame Well entry. Oh, and this week’s Made Up Game throws up a result rarely spotted in...
Sep 30, 2025•59 min
It’s a huge episode for loving Britain, but more importantly it’s a huge episode for cagoules. This is the UK’s number 1 cagoule podcast, and a very special guest has got Elis barking like a waterproof dog in heat. If you’re anti-outer layers then this is not the place to be. It’s slightly lighter ground on the anecdote front as John has just written down ‘Autumn’ and Elis can’t even handle drinking two pints. A loss for James but there’s more wins for Robins in a week where he smells different ...
Sep 26, 2025•1 hr 12 min
In a life full of achievements John may have finally topped the lot. In his 5 year battle with the word game that most people stopped playing a few years ago, John has finally come out victorious. Yes, he’s Wordled in one. It’s a big day. But the main question is, did it make him happy? There’s another chapter of Elis and John’s Road To Nowhere, in which the boys are forced to think on their feet and attempt to avert disaster. The quick thinking of one of them saves the day, while Dave goes on h...
Sep 23, 2025•58 min
473 episodes in and there is still room to excavate the vast intricacies that make up the Pompeii dig of John Robins’ mind. Grab your JCB because there’s a dump truck’s worth to uncover off the back of the latest adventures from the Sad Van. And it all boils down to one thing, as the hotels John’s willing to stay in simply say so much about the man. A generic hotel brand is the vessel through which we can get to know him. Does John actually like the things that he likes? Is he a star player who ...
Sep 19, 2025•57 min
Move over Oxford Union, debating has a new home! As Elis and John towers has turned into a hotbed of discourse and deliberation. The big topics are given the respect they deserve and the order of service for today is as follows: What’s the saddest song ever written? Hotels: budget or bespoke? And finally, are baths rubbish? Aside from heated arguments about the temperature of bath water, Elis and John continue their travels around the UK, this time attempting to spot some rare geese. John tells ...
Sep 16, 2025•1 hr 2 min
What starts off as a huge day for John (book deadline day) turns into a massive (massive it is) day for poor old Dave. As the saying goes: ‘The best laid plans of podcast producers often go awry’, and Dave’s idea for the team to record remotely gets derailed quite spectacularly by a faulty alarm system. Brace yourselves for the most stressed you will probably ever hear one of the UK’s most unflappable men. Back to John, and he tells us early on that he’s feeling ‘absolutely dreadful’. Book deadl...
Sep 12, 2025•1 hr 5 min
The boys have been busy bees recently and the show’s in danger of turning into a Michael Palin travelogue. Elis has returned from France and regales us with stories of visits to ex-military factories, intense chats with German families and Isy’s attempts at speaking French. Then it’s time for the first instalment of Elis and John’s Road to Nowhere, where your favourite podcast hosts drive around the country for no apparent reason other than to visit their valued family members. They’ve clipped o...
Sep 09, 2025•1 hr 16 min
The boys are fresh from driving around the country for charity with Ian Botham, which of course means Elis is exhausted and tour newbie Dave is absolutely fine. And there’s more bad news for Mr James as the Elis vote is being split in the Listeners’ Choice vote at the British Podcast Awards. He’s going to get pilloried by one co-host or maybe both. But given that John is more likely to lacerate Elis than Bubbins, place your vote in this stable. Find it online somewhere. And there’s also some Mad...
Sep 05, 2025•49 min
The ripples of last week’s Elis James mega-rant are still being felt right across the BBC, and despite vowing to ignore the call to pen John’s obituary, Elis has rowed back and done just that. Brace yourself for some emotional heft and candid commentary on John’s propensity for darts at university. But John’s made of sterner stuff these days and recovered to reveal the sighting of a certain car has left him shocked to his very core. Elis and Dave, on the other hand, don’t seem that bothered… Els...
Sep 02, 2025•55 min
There’s a surprise in the offing for John. Not that that’s a surprise to him. Nothing gets past old Sherlock Robins. Especially Producer Dave positioning a phone on a table at a very slight angle. But said surprise leads to some incredible finds about Johnny JR which leave Elis and Dave’s jaws on the floor. This was not what had been intended. Elsewhere John has an out of body experience reflecting on the fact that there’s an entire segment on the show dedicated to his personal wins. Plus, John ...
Aug 29, 2025•1 hr
Today’s episode is filled with the big questions of our age. These are the things that government top brass are pouring over day in, day out: Is Martin Lewis up there with Galileo and Mozart? Can you put goodwill on your shelf? And most divisively, is wee ever fine in a paddling pool? It’s a show that asks questions rather than answers them, and you the you the listener are left to make up your own minds on these contentious issues. What we can guarantee, however, is wall-to-wall Elis and John c...
Aug 26, 2025•1 hr 11 min
Elis made a bad decision the other day. And if you had a million guesses as to what that decision was then you won’t even get close, even when given the clue "Welsh culture". He's insistent it isn’t the outcome he wanted but John and Dave aren’t sure they believe him. Quite frankly it’s one of the most baffling conversations ever had on this show. Aside from regrettable choices there’s a potassium-rich Mad Dad that breaks new money making ground, Scatman John gets an unexpected amount of airtime...
Aug 22, 2025•50 min
Memory lane is today's destination of choice, as John dons his rose-tinted glasses to reminisce about the time 'an arrangement was made' for him to return to his secondary school to assist in its production of Guys and Dolls. Was he officially invited back? Did John simply turn up because he had nothing else on? We're still not entirely sure, but this proud Assistant Director is giving back in a cool way, and that's all that matters. Elsewhere, Elis channels his inner McIntyre with a surprising ...
Aug 19, 2025•1 hr 2 min
There’s huge news in the rural Bucks area as the Trifecta of Value begins to take shape - pending planning application rulings. It’s one of many wins for John, but the spectre of the biggest loss in many a year hangs over him. But he is unwilling to reveal it in his losses column. Someone should have cottoned on to this sly behaviour by now. Away from the Ls and the Ws we go all Gallic in chatting to the wonderful Celya AB, and John introduces her by making it self-aggrandising. Exactly what Nor...
Aug 15, 2025•1 hr 2 min
John’s been chained to a typewriter diarising his life experiences, and he's so confident about his memoir that he’s written “this is a good book” in Bic on its cover. Something all the great authors do, and he clearly has confidence in his witty emotionally hefty prose. But anyway, in this chapter of the Elis James and John Robins show we’re whisked to the sunny shores of the Iberian peninsula, because Dave has a Made Up Game that required an entire week of deliberation and a classroom’s worth ...
Aug 12, 2025•1 hr 12 min
We start in the anecdote Wild West. Specifically it was wild [north] west London for Elis as he’s been to Oasis in credibility damaging seats. The best seats in the house, surrounded by some of the most famous people in the country. He *could* have asked for General Admission. But he didn’t and that suggestion is shoved up the tunnel of anguish. City backline Akanji, Dias and Gvardiol were all with him and all saw him in tears. Incidentally Gvardiol was papped on commando retreat this summer sme...
Aug 08, 2025•1 hr 2 min
It’s a lament time of year. It’s an Edinburgh time of year. A time when John yearns for the crippling comedic examination which is the Edinburgh Festival. For he cannot experience that emotional rollercoaster this year. He can’t sit on a stage and call himself a C*** after someone shouts “have you had a ploughman’s” during the most emotionally hefty part of his show. Thankfully Elis’s wedding DJ, Nish Kumar, is on hand to bring despatches from the Caledonian comic frontline. And as always that i...
Aug 05, 2025•1 hr 1 min
Elis has secured a last minute Oasis ticket, but the big question is… what *does* he wear??? Will Liam stop during Champagne Supernova and pick him out specifically? Meanwhile, John has had two prawn vindaloos and there’s been ‘interest’ down below. This is all amidst the great wildflower debate which continues apace, and Elis is on the end of a lot of stick. What if we created a tantalising buffet of ecological confusion? There’s also further blow out from Elis’s Made Up Games failings and ensu...
Aug 01, 2025•54 min
It’s a big show for Elis’s confidence. After failing to clinch the first quint-connection last week, he was already on the ropes. But throw in a Made Up Game question harking back to school maths, and another tense outing of the Cymru Connection, and he may (does) turn into a man on the edge. And for said Made Up Game we have a very special guest in the studio. It’s someone who brings Elis and John vibes to the area most weeks, and they’re here to present their very own game. Plus there’s a lot ...
Jul 30, 2025•1 hr
Elis and John vibes in the areoh! Producer Dave has been to see Oasis and talks the boys through the various ‘ingredients’ that made it a night to remember. He also recounts a living nightmare he’s just experienced including missing equipment, an excitable crowd in Oxford, and a cat that can’t stop weeing. Elsewhere there’s all the accoutrements that make up a classic Elis and John offering: John provides a deep dive into the significance of pheasants in Danny Champion of the World, and makes an...
Jul 25, 2025•1 hr 3 min
Elis is on the precipice of glory. Just two things stand between him and immortality. First up is the chance to be crowned the fastest dad in all of key stage 1 at his son’s sports day. We know he plays football a lot and we know he cycles to Brighton sometimes, but can Elis do it on an overcast Thursday in South London? Secondly, our very own son of Wales has the chance to write his name in Cymru Connecting history (a game that, lest we forget, only he plays professionally). He’s Cymru Connecte...
Jul 22, 2025•58 min
It's a very smell heavy show today but the aromas aren't good as listeners inform Elis and John of a quite literal VW barrel of eggs and a queasy French exchange tale. Meanwhile Maisie Adam is very very hungover after England’s dramatic quarter final win, and Dave gets sacked twice in the first 10 minutes after his lads trip to Mallorca. Of course he sang Wonderwall to some 75 year old couples whilst there. What would you expect? Plus the wallet debate continues as a huge curveball is thrown int...
Jul 18, 2025•43 min
Elis needs a new car. But how can John advise him on his next whip when shackled by the understandable constraints of undue product prominence? Well John has been on a special course, the Balance BBc (Hons) at a local uni, in order to undertake this difficult task and be What Car?* for the impartial content generation. Can he navigate such tricky waters / roads without risking complaints from rival manufacturers? But none of that matters in practice because all cars are the same. Every single ca...
Jul 15, 2025•52 min
Elis is back from Euros Trip No. 1 and he’s Dad of the Year. A far more prestigious award than the 2008 accolade of the same name won by Peter Andre and sponsored by “Daddies Sauce”. Yes, his daughter not only experienced an unforgettable time watching the Welsh women, but she also saw her two favourite artists in eight days. Could Elis now become the best dad of the 21st century? John meanwhile has had a sweat overload and Producer Dave is off sunning himself in Mallorca. Amidst such a backdrop...
Jul 11, 2025•51 min
After many moons of service the mobile terrarium / paint dump / dodgem, the VW Barrel of Eggs, is no more. And today’s show is in tribute to that trusty steed. Currently lying in state, when it makes its final journey on the back of a low loader to the scrapheap make sure to line the streets of South London and doff your cap. Yes this is the only podcast to pay tribute to two different cars coincidentally manufactured under the auspices of the VW Group. Pushing boundaries and all that. But how w...
Jul 08, 2025•58 min
John’s annoyed because Elis and Dave have used all their material before the mics came on. Chin wagging like old ladies at the salon. But as is often the case we are saved by delving into the depths of insignificance. Some people think that the mines of inconsequentiality had run dry on this show. That the pick axes couldn’t uncover anything more minor than previously. But there's the richest of seams for John to sink his teeth into as Lawrence throws more fuel onto the one touch fire. And it’s ...
Jul 04, 2025•1 hr 19 min
