The ripples of last week’s Elis James mega-rant are still being felt right across the BBC, and despite vowing to ignore the call to pen John’s obituary, Elis has rowed back and done just that. Brace yourself for some emotional heft and candid commentary on John’s propensity for darts at university. But John’s made of sterner stuff these days and recovered to reveal the sighting of a certain car has left him shocked to his very core. Elis and Dave, on the other hand, don’t seem that bothered… Els...
Sep 02, 2025•55 min
There’s a surprise in the offing for John. Not that that’s a surprise to him. Nothing gets past old Sherlock Robins. Especially Producer Dave positioning a phone on a table at a very slight angle. But said surprise leads to some incredible finds about Johnny JR which leave Elis and Dave’s jaws on the floor. This was not what had been intended. Elsewhere John has an out of body experience reflecting on the fact that there’s an entire segment on the show dedicated to his personal wins. Plus, John ...
Aug 29, 2025•1 hr
Today’s episode is filled with the big questions of our age. These are the things that government top brass are pouring over day in, day out: Is Martin Lewis up there with Galileo and Mozart? Can you put goodwill on your shelf? And most divisively, is wee ever fine in a paddling pool? It’s a show that asks questions rather than answers them, and you the you the listener are left to make up your own minds on these contentious issues. What we can guarantee, however, is wall-to-wall Elis and John c...
Aug 26, 2025•1 hr 11 min
Elis made a bad decision the other day. And if you had a million guesses as to what that decision was then you won’t even get close, even when given the clue "Welsh culture". He's insistent it isn’t the outcome he wanted but John and Dave aren’t sure they believe him. Quite frankly it’s one of the most baffling conversations ever had on this show. Aside from regrettable choices there’s a potassium-rich Mad Dad that breaks new money making ground, Scatman John gets an unexpected amount of airtime...
Aug 22, 2025•50 min
Memory lane is today's destination of choice, as John dons his rose-tinted glasses to reminisce about the time 'an arrangement was made' for him to return to his secondary school to assist in its production of Guys and Dolls. Was he officially invited back? Did John simply turn up because he had nothing else on? We're still not entirely sure, but this proud Assistant Director is giving back in a cool way, and that's all that matters. Elsewhere, Elis channels his inner McIntyre with a surprising ...
Aug 19, 2025•1 hr 2 min
There’s huge news in the rural Bucks area as the Trifecta of Value begins to take shape - pending planning application rulings. It’s one of many wins for John, but the spectre of the biggest loss in many a year hangs over him. But he is unwilling to reveal it in his losses column. Someone should have cottoned on to this sly behaviour by now. Away from the Ls and the Ws we go all Gallic in chatting to the wonderful Celya AB, and John introduces her by making it self-aggrandising. Exactly what Nor...
Aug 15, 2025•1 hr 2 min
John’s been chained to a typewriter diarising his life experiences, and he's so confident about his memoir that he’s written “this is a good book” in Bic on its cover. Something all the great authors do, and he clearly has confidence in his witty emotionally hefty prose. But anyway, in this chapter of the Elis James and John Robins show we’re whisked to the sunny shores of the Iberian peninsula, because Dave has a Made Up Game that required an entire week of deliberation and a classroom’s worth ...
Aug 12, 2025•1 hr 12 min
We start in the anecdote Wild West. Specifically it was wild [north] west London for Elis as he’s been to Oasis in credibility damaging seats. The best seats in the house, surrounded by some of the most famous people in the country. He *could* have asked for General Admission. But he didn’t and that suggestion is shoved up the tunnel of anguish. City backline Akanji, Dias and Gvardiol were all with him and all saw him in tears. Incidentally Gvardiol was papped on commando retreat this summer sme...
Aug 08, 2025•1 hr 2 min
It’s a lament time of year. It’s an Edinburgh time of year. A time when John yearns for the crippling comedic examination which is the Edinburgh Festival. For he cannot experience that emotional rollercoaster this year. He can’t sit on a stage and call himself a C*** after someone shouts “have you had a ploughman’s” during the most emotionally hefty part of his show. Thankfully Elis’s wedding DJ, Nish Kumar, is on hand to bring despatches from the Caledonian comic frontline. And as always that i...
Aug 05, 2025•1 hr 1 min
Elis has secured a last minute Oasis ticket, but the big question is… what *does* he wear??? Will Liam stop during Champagne Supernova and pick him out specifically? Meanwhile, John has had two prawn vindaloos and there’s been ‘interest’ down below. This is all amidst the great wildflower debate which continues apace, and Elis is on the end of a lot of stick. What if we created a tantalising buffet of ecological confusion? There’s also further blow out from Elis’s Made Up Games failings and ensu...
Aug 01, 2025•54 min
It’s a big show for Elis’s confidence. After failing to clinch the first quint-connection last week, he was already on the ropes. But throw in a Made Up Game question harking back to school maths, and another tense outing of the Cymru Connection, and he may (does) turn into a man on the edge. And for said Made Up Game we have a very special guest in the studio. It’s someone who brings Elis and John vibes to the area most weeks, and they’re here to present their very own game. Plus there’s a lot ...
Jul 30, 2025•1 hr
Elis and John vibes in the areoh! Producer Dave has been to see Oasis and talks the boys through the various ‘ingredients’ that made it a night to remember. He also recounts a living nightmare he’s just experienced including missing equipment, an excitable crowd in Oxford, and a cat that can’t stop weeing. Elsewhere there’s all the accoutrements that make up a classic Elis and John offering: John provides a deep dive into the significance of pheasants in Danny Champion of the World, and makes an...
Jul 25, 2025•1 hr 3 min
Elis is on the precipice of glory. Just two things stand between him and immortality. First up is the chance to be crowned the fastest dad in all of key stage 1 at his son’s sports day. We know he plays football a lot and we know he cycles to Brighton sometimes, but can Elis do it on an overcast Thursday in South London? Secondly, our very own son of Wales has the chance to write his name in Cymru Connecting history (a game that, lest we forget, only he plays professionally). He’s Cymru Connecte...
Jul 22, 2025•58 min
It's a very smell heavy show today but the aromas aren't good as listeners inform Elis and John of a quite literal VW barrel of eggs and a queasy French exchange tale. Meanwhile Maisie Adam is very very hungover after England’s dramatic quarter final win, and Dave gets sacked twice in the first 10 minutes after his lads trip to Mallorca. Of course he sang Wonderwall to some 75 year old couples whilst there. What would you expect? Plus the wallet debate continues as a huge curveball is thrown int...
Jul 18, 2025•43 min
Elis needs a new car. But how can John advise him on his next whip when shackled by the understandable constraints of undue product prominence? Well John has been on a special course, the Balance BBc (Hons) at a local uni, in order to undertake this difficult task and be What Car?* for the impartial content generation. Can he navigate such tricky waters / roads without risking complaints from rival manufacturers? But none of that matters in practice because all cars are the same. Every single ca...
Jul 15, 2025•52 min
Elis is back from Euros Trip No. 1 and he’s Dad of the Year. A far more prestigious award than the 2008 accolade of the same name won by Peter Andre and sponsored by “Daddies Sauce”. Yes, his daughter not only experienced an unforgettable time watching the Welsh women, but she also saw her two favourite artists in eight days. Could Elis now become the best dad of the 21st century? John meanwhile has had a sweat overload and Producer Dave is off sunning himself in Mallorca. Amidst such a backdrop...
Jul 11, 2025•51 min
After many moons of service the mobile terrarium / paint dump / dodgem, the VW Barrel of Eggs, is no more. And today’s show is in tribute to that trusty steed. Currently lying in state, when it makes its final journey on the back of a low loader to the scrapheap make sure to line the streets of South London and doff your cap. Yes this is the only podcast to pay tribute to two different cars coincidentally manufactured under the auspices of the VW Group. Pushing boundaries and all that. But how w...
Jul 08, 2025•58 min
John’s annoyed because Elis and Dave have used all their material before the mics came on. Chin wagging like old ladies at the salon. But as is often the case we are saved by delving into the depths of insignificance. Some people think that the mines of inconsequentiality had run dry on this show. That the pick axes couldn’t uncover anything more minor than previously. But there's the richest of seams for John to sink his teeth into as Lawrence throws more fuel onto the one touch fire. And it’s ...
Jul 04, 2025•1 hr 19 min
The time has come to pick a side: are you pro-riff or anti-riff? Do you think that caution kills the riff? Would you wilfully step into the riff matrix and do your damnedest to see it through to the bitter end? In short, do you back the riff? This is what Producer Dave must decide. But he’s not the only one facing tough questions this week. Elis is confronted by his young son about a timing mishap that leaves him quoting Harold Wilson at his daughter in his pants. And John is left questioning wh...
Jul 01, 2025•1 hr 12 min
It’s a strange old time for Elis James. On the one hand he’s being called a thirst trap on the carra (the Instagram carousel, for those not in the know); people can’t seem to get enough of his floppy hair, his jawline, and his interesting t-shirts. On the other hand, he’s getting hammered for slagging off Belgium, and having some harsh words directed at him by one of TV’s greatest quiz hosts. What the sigma can he do!? But no worries, it’s Rodmas Day! He’s off to see Olivia Rodrigo, one of the m...
Jun 27, 2025•1 hr 6 min
There’s something drifting in on the air today. A funk. Criminality. Yes it seems to be bifta o’clock as John spots a doob roller on the tube. That, and it being the relaxfest which is Glastonbury, combine to see the hazy funk of ‘da ‘erb’ and its ensuing uncoolness discussed at length. Because simply put this is not how Britain will build back better. Elsewhere, Elis comes in today on a high. A cycling high. And that high isn’t from anything which Lance Armstrong might have partaken in. It’s ju...
Jun 24, 2025•1 hr 2 min
There’s some good upstanding British gear flying around today. Bin chat. Which bins? What goes in what? What blooming colours have you got? Show us your bins on [email protected] or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022. In less disposable content, there’s a right to reply from one of Colin’s holiday companions and he may have to be sent to prison for telling the truth. Plus there’s an absolute anxiety dream as John is forced to sit through playing the voice of DI Robbyns to someone from Cork. There’s b...
Jun 20, 2025•56 min
Elis James has become the story, and not for the right reasons. No matter how much he talks about ‘Zoe on the train’, there’s no doubt that our Cymru Connecting prodigy has lost his way. He’s in the Bobby Gould years. Today we attempt to correct his woeful form with some expert help. Colin makes a welcome return to proceedings as John shares more information about his holiday. Plus, there’s a belting taxi-based stag Shame, and everyone tries to work out who Alan Howard is. And remember, the pric...
Jun 17, 2025•1 hr 17 min
You can tell John’s been on holiday because he starts the show by giving a promotion to someone who doesn’t even work on the show. The mood is high. And he’s come back a new man. He’s Colin now. An even more chill and organised version of Johnny JR. He’s the opposite of pura vida - i.e. not the same as his travel companions, who included someone who lost their bank card before they set off and a second bank card before they returned. No surprises for who that could be. So expect a bumper John Wi...
Jun 13, 2025•58 min
William Wordsworth, Carol Ann Duffy… Tim Key. Just a few of the great poets this fair nation has produced. But there are two more names to add to the pantheon, two new kids on the block: Elis James and John Robins. Our heroes have picked up their pens (opened their laptops), unfurled their manuscripts (opened Word), and trawled their creative depths to write some verses that Shakespeare himself would be proud of. Why is poetry the order of the day you might be asking? Because the aforementioned ...
Jun 10, 2025•1 hr 4 min
After a week when John offered apology texts to Elis, Dave and the production team for being in a bad mood, he’s back to his Billy best. There’s a bright ray of sunshine in his heart and nethers which clears the studio air. No black eps today and Elis can leave the studio without an impending sense of worry. But there are challenges afoot for our hero, as he contends with holidaying with one whose administrative approach sits in bleak contrast to his own. Luckily he’s superchillathon, and amidst...
Jun 06, 2025•57 min
Wagon wheels, mushy pea hummus and baked bean daal. Move over Rick Stein, there’s new gastronomic broadcasters in town. Yes, food is the order of the day as the delectable George Egg rides into the studio to serve up a delicious Made Up Game for Elis and John. And the theme doesn’t stop there, for before you can say ‘Ready, Steady, Cook’ there's a longing for Great British puds and the question “why do chippies give you so many chips?”. In non-edible happenings will Elis continue to fail at conn...
Jun 03, 2025•50 min
It’s the TFI Late Review on the show as a night-time recording has Elis at his energetic peak. He's ready to throw a chair at a wall and also discuss the latest avant-garde Spanish melodrama. It’s a different vibe altogether, the boys don’t even know what day it is. But in such a circular audio environment, what even are days? We speak to the chattiest man in Wales - a pillar of the world accent community no less - and there is a real fear that Elis could be stealing John’s exercise thunder. Not...
May 30, 2025•45 min
Every week on this show you think that the last vestige of John’s weird past is revealed. You think there cannot be any more layers peeled back. And then bam(!), another one, as yet another aspect of intense Robins c.1994-2004 hits you smack in the face. This is one such episode. But don’t worry it’s not all too harrowing, for there’s a huge and extremely handsome surprise for Producer Dave, and a couple of absolutely top tier Mad Dads. Plus, Elis just simply needs to connect, as the words ‘Derb...
May 27, 2025•1 hr 3 min
There’ve been contrasting weeks for our two heroes. It’s a non-stop all anecdote premiere for Elis. For he has as follows… met Hugh Grant, attended Ken Clarke’s curry house, been to film screenings and had his greatest ever stag - apart from the one organised by John he stresses. *And* Mo Salah thinks he matters. John meanwhile has been asleep for half nine each night, talked about trauma and bought two sheds. We also have a guest who is perhaps the biggest mover and shaker in South Gloucestersh...
May 23, 2025•55 min
