We’re living in a Johnapalooza. With the release of his Blubography (trademark: Elis James) last week, John’s been touring the country. But do any of his shows bear resemblance to the hallowed 1976 Sex Pistols gig at the Lesser Free Trade Hall? Elis and Dave do their best to draw parallels. Away from book and tour shenanigans, Elis threatens to swear enough to make the show unusable in a bid to halt a guessing game, John imagines how he’d brush his hair if he were an 'odd king', and there’s a co...
May 12, 2026•58 min
It’s John Robins day. John Robins Contentaggedon. You simply can’t move for Robins. Because John sits at the crest of a content wave. Megatisation, another podcast series, marathon, birthday, millions of interviews and book release have all come as a quick flurry of jabs to the midriff. But is he all tuckered out? Is it all too much? Clearly not because he’s got another mad mind game on the go that only Robins could formulate. He’s back. He’s back in the big time. He won 9 grand yesterday. But i...
May 08, 2026•1 hr
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It’s a tale of two anecdotes today, and in a way both of them fall into the latter category. Elis has been donning his corporate hat on no sleep and nearly no thumb, while John has been encountering some very public acts of love. With the dust finally settled on all things marathon, we’re back to regular programming: a Cymru Connection that’s literally staring Elis in the face, and a Made Up Game that leaves everyone giggling like school child...
May 05, 2026•54 min
They did it! The marathon has been conquered by the bravest and youngest boys around, Messrs John Robins and Dave Masterman. And due to the circular nature of this show’s recording schedule, just 5 days later we can finally bask in the glory of their amazing achievements! So strap in for a marathon debrief like no other, including a squat competition (which is the real quiz) that has disastrous results for one competitor, and an abandoned dusk run in Farringdon as a result of said squat competit...
May 01, 2026•1 hr 2 min
It’s a funny old episode today due to the circular way this podcast is recorded. In one sense you could say that John and Dave HAVE run the marathon (indeed post-mara John does make a brief appearance), but in another, very real sense you could argue that they HAVEN’T run the marathon. Did they finish it? Who knows (yes they did). How did it go? We’ll have to find out (John was caught lubing his nether regions). Was a new world record achieved? Maybe (it was, but by whom?). All answers to be rev...
Apr 28, 2026•1 hr 9 min
It’s T-2 until Marathon Day. The trainers are being laced. The talc is being applied. And the Ass Magic is getting to work. This is the pre-game build up. That half an hour where Carragher and Neville talk about a variety of hypotheticals. Do you find the marathon talk boring? Well it’s what we’re doing, so ‘jog on’. But that does mean we’re getting very close to the final boss of Running To Win and Hating Yourself. And whisper it quietly, but no matter how he gets on this weekend, the John who ...
Apr 24, 2026•1 hr 6 min
Two towering national figures dominate today’s podcast; bloobs and David Attenborough. Bloobs because John has realised he lives in heaven and he backs the Chilterns. Attenborough because John’s been watching his new (filthy) TV show and Elis has been having nightmares about knocking him down the stairs. Three other culturally significant totems also feature: First there’s the new DG who meets John (in a show intro that Elis labels ‘a real case study into the workings of John’s mind’). Then ther...
Apr 21, 2026•1 hr 4 min
Huge news. Elis has nearly got into a fight. He nearly lamped a bloke because he confused Llanfairfechan with Penmaenmawr*. Of course he didn’t. Rather he was being a stand up citizen protecting this nation’s highways. But heroism doesn’t pay, because it’s also time for the semi-regular spousal Elis James rinse. Isy's been talking about Elis on other platforms, which means great insight for us all. What is he like away from the limelight of one of the UK’s most megatised podcasts? Until what tim...
Apr 17, 2026•58 min
Quick hypothetical Q: If you’re running a marathon for the first time (because you’ve realised your bones actually aren’t too heavy to run) and you want to get advice from someone, who do you turn to? Roger Bannister? Not possible. Forrest Gump? Not possible again. Oh, what about the world class athlete who held the record for the fastest women's marathon for 16 years? What, Paula Radcliffe? Yeah, just a bit mate! Strap in for some gold-plated advice from one of the best to ever do it. Elsewhere...
Apr 14, 2026•58 min
Elis has a hot chest and feels spacey, whilst John’s got his thrice a decade hay fever, which is a real problem now he’s in full vis. So that’s a great start to the second ever Megatisation era episode. Today’s a day for big questions, including and not limited to… Are their filthcentric studio sharers the antichrist? Has John nearly completed YouTube? Can he also win an Oscar with his sizzling bath content? Would you queue for a curry house before it opens in the mid afternoon? Do you like praw...
Apr 10, 2026•1 hr 2 min
It’s a big/normal day! Everything in Elis and John world just got bigger/stayed exactly the same as before! All praise the Brave New World/status quo! John’s dressed up in a suit and tie to mark the (non-) occasion, and there’s a 100 points on offer to the listener who can decipher John’s scripted intro. Beyond everything changing/staying exactly the same, Elis and John try to find the best non-threatening noise to make whilst running to alert non-runners, with some very surprising suggestions. ...
Apr 07, 2026•1 hr 4 min
Emergency! Emergency! Elis and John just got Megatised. We repeat, Elis and John just got Megatised. PATREON VIBES IN THE AREA Our brand new Patreon channel will feature our flagship offering of The Adventures of Elis and John - a monthly visualised series too daring for TV that will feature excursions, activities and escapades from our favourite todgers. Subscribers will also get fully visualised podcast eps, behind-the-scenes action, first dibs on EJJR tour tickets and ad-free listening. Each ...
Apr 07, 2026•12 min
Strap yourself in because boy do we have a highbrow show for you today. Quoting Heidegger? Check. Ruminations on the nature of the present? Check. Elis S’ing himself in a park in Cardiff after a night on the Red Bull mixers? Check. John Wins Again throws up some interesting morsels: John reveals his latest bedtime snack, and one of John’s wins leaves Elis literally speechless. Elsewhere we meet Elis’s unkempt uni alter ego, John realises he should have been born in a Megaworld, and Dave is invit...
Apr 03, 2026•1 hr 7 min
It’s a rollercoaster of a show for Elis James. He has the opportunity to rectify recent Welsh footballing disappointment by becoming the only player in Cymru Connection history to connect with 5 people twice. National pride can be restored, as long as Elis opens his eyes and doesn’t go down a Cymru cul-de-sac. Come on El, a (potentially imaginary) listener’s haircut depends on it! Plus John plays hardball with the One Show, there’s a trip down the Shame Well that knocks Elis bandy, and Dave fina...
Mar 31, 2026•54 min
“You were hungover thinking about darts.” “You are scum.” “You are a waste that has wasted himself.” “How do you like that John?” “Why don’t you just melt in the park you never walked through enough 21 years ago?” “You complete piece of S.” From that exchange you wouldn’t think it would be a philosophical episode. However it is. It's deep. It’s a privilege, despair, sadness, nostalgia fest. And for once, the despair isn’t coming from John. You’ve got the Bosnians to thank for that. It’s also Edi...
Mar 27, 2026•1 hr 4 min
Elis has come off the back of a midi week but that’s not a problem, because the hive mind has another great TV format to which the networks can say “I love it, so I’m going to say ‘no’.” ‘John’s Thoughts’ arrives much to Elis’s confusion, during which John’s also come up with an emotion that’s more complex than nostalgia. “What is this?” asks the Assistant to a Thought Leader about the feature. We don’t quite know yet but it is certainly a great conduit for chin wagging chat. And in all of that ...
Mar 24, 2026•1 hr 1 min
It’s all Hits and Mems today as we imagine two media worlds that John Robins could have inhabited. These being: Bristol local radio (1-4pm) and the manosphere. Traffic, travel and the afternoon countdown to the pub, or grifting? Two forks in the road he could have gone down, but thankfully hasn’t. Safe to say his imagination is in fervent overdrive as we also hear of a world where he has $10 million… and won an Oscar. But what of Elis? Well he may have a heart attack. We also receive a right of ...
Mar 20, 2026•1 hr
The confidence of one of the great confidence players takes a battering this week. What starts off as some light-hearted fun around the London Marathon (after Johnny JR reveals some exciting news), turns into a head-in-hands moment that curses Elis for the entirety of today’s show. How does his misstep affect his Cymru Connecting performance? Will the unassailable points gap in Made Up Games get even more unassailable? It’s all to play for. Elsewhere, John’s imagined a world that almost leaves h...
Mar 17, 2026•1 hr 12 min
The studio is wafting with sandalwood and intense male musk because Dave’s got a new scent, something which is causing John much nasal fascination. But yet again, the big story is a huge Elis James week. What a run he’s on by the way. He’s had a completely genuine standing ovation at one of London’s coolest comedy gigs. Further still, he’s performed the finest bit of house jobbery he’s ever done, with plumbing tape elevating this above Mega Week. Elsewhere, Adrian brings the boys some significan...
Mar 13, 2026•1 hr 15 min
John Robins feels enormous. His Christmas Day, Ryder Cup and Tax Deadline Day have all come at once. That’s right, a new supermarket has opened near his house, and he’s primed and ready to make content that no one else would dream of making. Strap in for some gonzo journalism; it’s Fear and Loathing in Rural Bucks. Supermarket excitement aside, we tackle the big questions: Did Elizabeth I wish she’d had meal deals? Did she resent not having a fridge, or Tetris, or yoghurt? What would Henry VIII ...
Mar 10, 2026•1 hr 1 min
What do Sir Steve Redgrave, Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, David Beckham and John Robins have in common? None of them were asked on QI. Elis has though, and it’s clearly going down very very well with all parties. But today feels significant as we rope in a special guest to digest Elis hammering his friend using his fast twitch fibres. On top of that, John’s having a big day - something which others seriously doubt. “He’s probably just had too much hot sauce on his scramble...
Mar 06, 2026•1 hr
John is not going to dance to their tune. Who’s tune? The people who design the layouts of supermarkets, that’s who. Sure, they can play their seductive little ditties, but Johnny JR ain’t dancing. But someone who is dancing to a tune is Elis James, and that tune is Welsh music (general). With St David’s Day having just passed, the pressure is on Elis to contribute to the national mood. Can he turn around a poor run of form in the Cymru Connection, or will he besmirch the good name of Wales arou...
Mar 03, 2026•1 hr 3 min
Elis is in the middle of a megaweek. He’s about to do a 100m race for charity that he wishes could be 18 yards, he’s been to 10 Downing Street because Sir Keir is in love with him, and he’s been accosted by a roomful of Welsh people wanting to connect with him. But amongst all this he has also been betrayed. For there was a Paul McCartney-based event that he wasn’t invited to, despite another member of the team making the guest list. But what about John? He’s been doing what he does everyday; ch...
Feb 27, 2026•58 min
Elis has Barrel of Eggs’ed it. Or more accurately, Isy has. The new car has met its match in the form of inner-London car park tight corners. But for a show that holds content on the highest pedestal possible, this can only be seen as a good thing. Not only has Elis got a damaged car, but he also has a damaged connection rate in the Cymru Connection. Can youth-based listener Holly be the ticket Elis needs to do a three point turn and drive straight up Success Alley? Elsewhere there’s an abundanc...
Feb 24, 2026•1 hr 19 min
It’s Melvin Brain in the chair today as we go all Radio 4. What is thought? What is the self? High. Brow. This is the Best Comedy show at the British Podcast Awards 2025. Parenting Hell simply isn't doing this. There’s even an academic called Dr Loevenbruck involved. It is a full spectrum of vibes today. From deep psychology to S’ing yourself twice in a heartbeat. Elsewhere, John has a hollow coldness in the bones. In other words, he’s hungry. Meanwhile, Elis has eggs on the brain. And it turns ...
Feb 20, 2026•1 hr
It’s a shame this year’s Oscar nominations have been named because John’s new film idea could have swept the board. Watch out John Ford with your record 4 wins for Best Director, watch out James Cameron with your highest-grossing films, there’s a new auteur in town. However, it isn’t all positivity for our Robins. After the highs of creativity, the lows of having your heart broken by someone you thought was a good friend. Elis’s foul-mouthed review of one of Frank Zappa’s albums leaves a sour ta...
Feb 17, 2026•1 hr 3 min
It’s limbs in the studio as a box of brownies and a couple of books have lifted Elis out of a funk. What great news for bookworms with low blood sugar. But the internal glucose alarm isn’t the only one going off as a fire alert causes chaos. We also get psychological as the boys unpick the idea of the inner monologue, and with that the terrifying engine steering John under the bonnet. Would Freud enjoy this? Potentially. Would it frighten him? Almost certainly. And from brains to bodies, the sho...
Feb 13, 2026•53 min
Due to factors it’s another ride on the remote record train as the Bucks-Hulme-Palace trifecta is enacted once again. But fear not, for geographical limitation does not lead to content limitation, and the show’s exemplary badinage level is kept high. The trifecta briefly becomes a quadfecta through the addition of comedian and protocol penner, Pierre Novellie. Yes, the man who made it his business to codify the essence of Cymru Connecting stops by to adjudicate a live connection attempt. But not...
Feb 10, 2026•1 hr 14 min
Today we discover there’s a lot going on with John. “News to me” you might say with an eye roll planted at the front of your visage. However, we’re in the more physical realm for once, as his clown feet and crisps ankles hone into view. Elsewhere, Dave is having technical problems because of the need for interrogation-level lighting being installed. And Elis is broadly fine. In some excellent correspondence, there’s solutions to the below knee level fridge issue that’s been rocking rural Bucks, ...
Feb 06, 2026•1 hr
How well do Elis and Producer Dave really know their wives? After being asked about Hannah’s hopes and dreams a few weeks ago, Dave finally returns with the answers, and Elis can’t resist trying his hand at nailing down Isy’s favourite things. Elsewhere, Elis finds himself in Cymru Connecting heaven and discovers a new brand of humour, while John unearths his latest non-monetisable talent in a game which he initially goes in two footed on. To get in touch with the show, email hello@elisandjohn.c...
Feb 03, 2026•1 hr 6 min
