Managing the cost of a parent’s care can be like running a small, complex enterprise. Discussing the ins, outs, and intricacies of financial oversight and care can sometimes bring up all sorts of emotions among siblings. In this episode, I dive headfirst into a few ways to prepare for those “money talks” around the cost of care with your siblings, or even a parent. Reminding yourself of the end goal is a great way to start. However, when someone else has a different goal, your motives might come...
Jun 21, 2023•15 min•Ep. 74
This is part two about the caregiver and the feelings and hurt from betrayal. My guest Holli Kenley , is a licensed therapist, author, and well-known expert on the subject of betrayal and healing. While few caregivers want to discuss this topic, many of us suffer invisible wounds from past experiences. Holli and I dive into how betrayal costs us more than trust. It can contribute to our loss of self. Holli covers the depths of our caregiver experience on this front: what lurks beneath the surfac...
Jun 14, 2023•36 min•Ep. 73
In this episode, I discuss the challenges of hospital-induced delirium. This syndrome can affect people of all ages, not just older individuals. Drawing from a personal conversation with someone who experienced this, I explain how this happens, and how to reduce the chances of this affecting your parent, spouse, or even your child when hospitalized. Highlights: Personal Stories : One caregiver shares her experience with an aging parent who was hospitalized. Another, my own, on how we managed to ...
Jun 07, 2023•19 min•Ep. 72
This is part one of a two-part episode featuring my guest, Holli Kenley , a licensed therapist, author, and well-known expert on the subject of betrayal. While few caregivers want to discuss this topic, many of us suffer invisible wounds from past experiences. Holli and I dive into how betrayal costs us more than trust. It can contribute to our loss of self. Holli covers the depths of our caregiver experience on this front: what lurks beneath the surface and how to heal and find strength again. ...
May 31, 2023•38 min•Ep. 71
This episode even caught me by surprise. In this segment, I dive into research about how the daily pressures of caregiving can take a serious toll on our own memory, and a few ways to manage stress better. While extreme stress hasn’t been found to cause Alzheimer's, it has been associated with accelerated brain aging and can even lead to temporary memory loss. In addition, you’ll get some invaluable strategies for handling persistent caregiver stress, while finding more balance at home and work....
May 24, 2023•23 min•Ep. 70
How do you cope with an aging mom? So many assume this is the eldest daughter’s job. However, when the one who steps in and steps up had to be a son, things might be different. What do you need to overcome, as a son, to help your mom bathe, or dress, or even use the toilet when you’re her son? The same kinds of challenges can hold true with daughters and their dads. How will you hold it all together? Pride and modesty will need to take a backseat for necessity and practicality. Creativity and em...
May 17, 2023•50 min•Ep. 69
Concerned about recent bank financial failures? Your aging parent may be too, but they might not tell you. When you’re on a fixed or reduced income, every penny counts. In this episode, my guest, Philip Van Doorn from Market Watch explains, simply, how to calm your parents’ fears and help them protect their assets. We also talk about finding additional ways to earn money on their deposits and how to find extra dollars for them. We also cover how to make sure that their investment brokerage is sa...
May 10, 2023•31 min•Ep. 68
If you’re working full time but also caring for an aging parent, the stress and feeling of isolation can be significan t. Adding to that stress can be a fear (real or imagined) of potential retribution from your boss or peers if they find out. Even if you’re not working full-time, or part-time, you can find yourself isolated from the rest of the world – except for doctors, or other care providers. For those employed and caring for a parent, understand that 56% of our colleagues who are also care...
May 03, 2023•18 min•Ep. 67
Being a caregiver has its joys and tough times, too. Sometimes we step into the role thinking that we are knowing what our job will be. But it’s hard to foresee how being a caregiver will interrupt our families, jobs, finances, relationships, and lives. If you are or have been a caregiver, are you ready to do this once again? Do you feel more prepared now for surprises, and think you know how to do the job better, or just as well as you did? What happens when you’ve done this twice and now you h...
Apr 26, 2023•39 min•Ep. 66
What happens when you get a call from your dad who says: “ don’t worry, Mom’s just been taken to the ER ,” then hangs upon you? You’re 1200 miles away and on your way to work! The first you think: OMG what happened? The second thing: What else can go wrong? Yes, mistakes happen do happen in the ER. In this episode, I share the top seven things that can make going to an Emergency Room a potential disaster, and how to avoid joining the 10 million people a year who get worse in the ER, not better. ...
Apr 19, 2023•10 min•Ep. 65
What happens when your father, who appeared to be just fine, surprises you by telling you he has Alzheimer’s Disease? Watching anyone’s steady cognitive decline is always difficult. However, my next guest, Peter Maeck took, along with his other siblings, a different and rather poetic approach to their dad’s caregiving. His father even joined in on the creative solutions that they discovered together. You might be surprised about how creativity, analytical thinking, and caregiving can all come to...
Apr 12, 2023•38 min•Ep. 64
What’s Senior Dumping and can it happen to your parents without you even suspecting? In this episode, I share a conversation that I had with a GoDaddy customer service person who had this issue with his dad. While running for several days from work to home to bring his dad to the hospital, and then to rehab, he was hoping to get some relief by returning his dad back to his care facility. Unfortunately, once his dad was ready for discharge from the hospital, the care facility’s management refused...
Apr 05, 2023•9 min•Ep. 63
Your parent or loved one has always been there for you but has now passed. Is there a way to still contact them? Knowing what to do might help you manage through some tough days a bit easier. How do you attain guidance from your loved ones? What might you be doing, unintentionally, to discourage them from reaching out to you? You may learn some surprising facts including that spiritual guides have been around and involved (in and out) of traditional religions for centuries. You might also be sur...
Mar 29, 2023•25 min•Ep. 62
In this episode you might be surprised to learn how often chemical restraints are used on our folks to keep them calm, sleepy, and complacent, and easier to care for in hospitals, rehab facilities, nursing homes, and even in our own homes by some lesser concerned home health aides. Sometimes it’s tough to figure out if this is happening to your parents while hospitalized. All you have to do, though, is ask about every medication they’re being given and why. You’ll also likely see these medicatio...
Mar 22, 2023•13 min•Ep. 61
Can you get support, guidance, and love from a parent, spouse, or even a family member who died before you were born? Turns out, that might be true if you know about how spiritual guides or mediums work. This is part one of a two-segment show where my guest, Sloan Tate, an accredited Medium, and I dive into how you can tap into those you have loved and moved on. We also discuss things you should avoid when seeking out this type of spiritual guidance. There are things you can do to tap into the w...
Mar 15, 2023•33 min•Ep. 60
In this episode, we'll be discussing how to get rid of those crappy, crummy, pissy moods that can come with caring for an elderly parent. It's normal to feel overwhelmed, stressed, and frustrated when caring for someone you love who needs your help all the time. However, sometimes the worst feelings can get the best of us. It happens to me too.! In this episode, I share seven practical tips to help you dig out of that hole and find solid ground again. Not every day will be filled with sunshine a...
Mar 08, 2023•10 min•Ep. 59
In this episode, my guest, James Hagerty, the Wall Street Journal Obituary writer , and I discuss how to capture the most interesting parts of our parents and loved ones’ life stories. Too often, those final days come about, and we lose, forever, stories about what our parents did in their lifetimes. How does one start, though? What are the best questions to ask? Where do you search for things about them? What happened in their times, that they might have difficulty remembering themselves? You m...
Mar 01, 2023•32 min•Ep. 58
In this episode, I share how even a whiny five-year-old can help us become better advocates and caregivers for those we love. It starts with one key question that adults often forget to ask, themselves. That simple question, asked over and over again, can be annoying to respond to. But, with patience and some extra thought, you may be able to satisfactorily answer it more often. And, in doing so, you just might get some surprising results. Tune in to this Winter Short and learn more. I promise i...
Feb 22, 2023•7 min•Ep. 57
What happens when the quality of care provided by your mom’s care facility was great, but then declined to a point where you’re worried that she’s suffering? Do you just suck it up and hope the quality of aides and services will get better? Or do you call medical transport, wrap her up in a blanket, and move her to a place that will make every minute with her count? In this episode, we’ll tell you how this real-life, boots-on-the-ground, mother-daughter team fought to find the right place to fin...
Feb 14, 2023•44 min•Ep. 56
Personal treasures or talismans have been used for a long time by caregivers, and those grieving, to reduce pain and stress. In this episode, I share a bit of history and some ways that you can use personal items to help you recover from loss and make better care decisions. My own experience with such simple items as my mom and dad’s handwritten notes, a silver bangle bracelet, and even a fleece jacket of my dad’s, gave me strength when I felt lost. You might be surprised to learn that it’s not ...
Feb 08, 2023•9 min•Ep. 55
This episode is Part Two of my discussion with attorney Dan Frith. The quality of care our aging parents receive can vary by which hospital they use. The one closest to home might not be the safest, or even appropriate for them, or you. Not all hospitals are the same, nor equal, nor even similar in the types of services they offer or specialize in. It’s important to assume that hospital systems are businesses too. Before you need one, learn how to research your local hospital. Understand the str...
Feb 01, 2023•36 min•Ep. 54
How do you prepare your home, or a parent’s home, so it’s safe for them to return to after a hospitalization or long-term rehab stay? They might have recovered, but the last thing you want is for another issue or accident to happen. In this episode, we provide a list of suggestions to help you, the family or professional caregiver, better ensure continued safety and sustained quality of life for those you care for, even if their physical or mental abilities are starting to decline. Resource PDF ...
Jan 25, 2023•39 min•Ep. 53
In this episode, we discuss how to learn if your doctor is the right one for your parents, or you. Sometimes we base our trust on a doctor’s “likeability,” or bedside manner. But someone who seems good doesn’t mean they are good or even competent. When it comes to your health, skills, competency ( a low "accidental" death rate), and experience usually trump attitude and charm. We also touch on some other points and questions to ask: What’s the prime age for a doctor,? When might you want to re-t...
Jan 18, 2023•33 min•Ep. 52
In this episode, I share some research done on the most challenging days of the week for those who care for an aging parent or spouse. From this, I learned that there really is an official calendar day called Blue Monday . Also, there are specific days when it seems, the effort of caregiving is that much more stressful. It’s good to know this and be better prepared. I also dive into some ways to make the tough winter months a bit easier for you and those you’re caring for. Here's a link to my fr...
Jan 11, 2023•12 min•Ep. 51
What happens when you’re both a caregiver and, at the same, disabled yourself? In this episode my guest Daniel Hodges, JD, who is blind, was a caregiver for his parents and children while needing special care himself from the medical community. We discuss how he was able to succeed at this, by being a non-stop advocate for himself and those around him to overcome surprising biases and other obstacles put in his way. Our conversation includes: How to get doctors to treat you with respect How to g...
Jan 04, 2023•43 min•Ep. 50
Caring for those we love is tough enough. When toxic people enter our lives wanting more of our time, attention, energy, and even money, offering nothing in return, they make caregiving even more difficult. In this episode, I share some tips on identifying, assessing, and more easily separating yourself from those I refer to as time vampires, bloodsuckers, and jerks. I also discuss how to turn things around and find more good souls to bring joy, kindness, and sharing into our lives and those we ...
Dec 28, 2022•20 min•Ep. 49
In this episode, I share tips on how caregivers can overcome those holiday blues when you’re alone and away from those you love. The show mentions how to make your days brighter when you start feeling a little dark. Below are several links to those tips and solutions discussed in this episode. They’re fun and easy to do yourself or with your parents even if they have physical challenges: Holiday Cookie Houses: Option #1 , Option #2 , Option #3/Mansion Style , and no-bake Option #4 How to create ...
Dec 21, 2022•20 min•Ep. 48
This show is in memory of J ames Degenheardt who was a gift that showed up on my dad's doorstep one New Year's Day. Finding that special, thoughtful gift for an aging parent , or loved one can be tough. Even more so when you are short on time, or just can’t bear the thought of going shopping. In this episode, I share how I faced this same dilemma as my folks got older – after all, who really needs another bathrobe or pair of slippers ? One way to do this is to think outside the (gift) box : what...
Dec 14, 2022•7 min•Ep. 47
Imagine not being able to eat, swallow or enjoy your favorite foods. Or feeling so tired you could fall headfirst into your soup bowl! Or, even worse, getting your tongue cut, and rebuilt due to cancer, and having to learn how to talk again! Would thinking about these things happening freak you out? Well, there’s lots to learn from my special guest in this episode, and some good things, too. Often when someone’s parent has a stroke, heart attack, early dementia, or other health issues requiring ...
Dec 07, 2022•47 min•Ep. 46
In this short episode, we talk about how to protect your parent’s credit cards from getting skimmed while in their wallets. RFID chips are now embedded in almost all our credit cards. For those of us caring for aging parents who are out and about shopping on their own, or with the help of an aide, the idea that their cards can be charged without their knowledge just adds another layer of concern to our caregiving workload. There’s some controversy about whether these cards can be skimmed from a ...
Nov 30, 2022•10 min•Ep. 45
