LECRAE - A Journey From 'Beenie Weenies' to Grammys

This is definitely a laxative.

Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of Eating While Broke. I'm your host, Colleen Witt, and today we have a very special guest. Grammy Award winning Lecree is in the building.

I'm in the building, man, I'm in the building.

This is extremely cool for me.

I'm excited. This is cool for me too. Yeah.

Yeah, I saw you you start getting into it.

Yeah, I'm excited. This is cool. Man. I had to, like, you know, get to.

Come back to my roots a little bit. Yeah, and see how this tastes after all.

This time, after all, so how many years before you tell us what the dishes? How many years has it been.

Man? Solid? Thirty years probably, geez. Yeah.

Yeah, Like for real, we're gonna see if your stomach can handle this today.

Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, it's all good. You know what I'm saying, I'm not gonna go crazy. I'm gonna just have a little bit of it.

I'm like, this ain't really a cheat meal, so you know what I'm saying, This is not cheating at all.

Fact, So why don't you go ahead and tell us what you're gonna have us eating today?

Okay, what we're gonna have today is we're gonna have, you know, some pork and beans with the hot dogs. When you put them together, you get what's called beanie weans.

So we're gonna have the beanie weenies, you know what I'm saying.

And then we got spinach, but not just any spinach, the can spinish because my mama wanted to make sure that I have my vegetables as a kid.

So I ate vegetables out of a.

Can can spinish and canned corn whole hole hole green giant.

You know what I'm saying.

So can corn, can spin and it was a whole healthy meal.

You know what I'm saying.

You get a little you know, carbs with your beans, You get your protein, you get your vegetables, a little carbs with the coin.

Hey we in there. And then just to be fancy for y'all.

I got a little brown sugar, just a little, but it's that's something we wouldn't have did that.

We didn't have no brown sugar to waste on them.

Okay, well we're not gonna use a brown sugar. We want to take it all all. We want to we want to feel it. We want to feel it. With your stories, go ahead, start whipping it up.

Okay, oh easy, So we're gonna start right off the bat. You know what I'm saying.

By the way, I switch those out for turkey dogs.

Okay, well, you know that's your fancy you're doing fancy things. So we're gonna just right off the bat.

You know what I'm saying, You're gonna you're gonna cut these down sides, So we gonna chop these down the sides because you gotta, you gotta. It's gotta stretch so you can't get a whole hot.

Dog in there.

You're gonna feel like you got a lot of food. But you just you know what I'm saying, We gotta stretch it and they'll cook. They'll cook a little bit faster when they.

Cut up like this.

How often would you say you were eating this back then?

This is normal?

So this was I mean, just childhood, because you gotta think one, I'm a latch key kid. So my mom worked while I was at home by myself a lot. So either a I had to be able to make it myself or be she had to be able to whip it up quick. She was tired. She came home from work. So you know she's sometimes she worked two jobs, so she just tired come home from work. She had to just be able to whip something up real quick. This is quick, and it's cheap.

Really cheap, so it's like super cheap.

So we're not gonna do it them all because you know, eat those turkey dollars later, you know what I mean. You men want to eat that a little bit later.

But then let's see here, this is the stove is much faster than the one that I had growing up, you know what I mean. But we're gonna we're gonna just go low because I don't know how it goes.

You know what I'm saying.

And then we just gonna skill it these boys up a little bit and and get them cooking, and let those you know, cook while os is in there cooking. Then we'll we'll move on to the vegetable.

Bles, okay, And do you mix your vegetables your spinach in your corner?

No, separate, you know what I'm saying. Separate.

I don't want like, I don't want them touching. So you got two pots, you know what I'm saying. Now, generally there's gonna be a little liquid in those cans.

Yeah, to drain them for you.

Yeah, so you know you want.

A little bit, though you don't eat all of it, just a little bit so you don't burn the bottom of the food. You know what I'm saying. You don't want it to burn. So I just took a little water and just put it in there. Not too much water because then obviously it takes the flavor out. But you know you're gonna burn the bottom of the food. And then with your spinach. So the way that my mama got me was to watch Popeye the Sailor Man cartoons yep, and then it.

Was Popeye spinach.

So I didn't like vegetables, but she got me to like them because of the Popeye was on the can of spinach.

So then I ate it.

And by the way, I did not know till today that I always thought it was a cartoon and that was just how they convinced us to eat spinach. But I did not know till today that Popeye's is an actual spinach brand. You're spinach. I did not know. Oh yeah, learn something every every day.

Now see, unless you buy like certain brands, it's generally unseasoned. So even though I don't know, still sodium in there some some reason, I don't know why, but unless you buy certain brands on seasoned.

So I got some season in the day.

You know what I'm saying, But this is not this is this is a little fancier, but it's still good. It's to slap your mama. It's a little fancier. So it's definitely gonna be tasty. So we were season that up, but let's let it. Let's let it heat up a little bit. We do some seasoning on that, and then you got your can corn. Who ho, hold green giant. You know what I'm saying, Put that caned corn in there, or we're gonna have us some meal.

We gonna we're gonna be good today. So take me back to what was going on during this time of pork and beans, spinach and corn.

What was happening?

So I would come home from school, just like elementary school.

I come home from school. You know, my mom and my pops separated.

Really my pops, he he was he went down a dark path.

He lost his job, so then he went.

Down a dark path, had some addiction issues. It didn't work, and he wasn't able to be there for us.

So you know, when it's just me and mom.

She's young, she's in her twenties, so she's gotta kind of figure it out. So she had it's like a form of assistance, but not like welfare. But it was like a form of of government aid c I. You know, where they would allow you to get like a certain certain things from the grocery store.

You take it in there or whatever, kind of like what wick is.

So they don't know if they still have that, but but up like food stamps kind of but not the same because it's like for women with children type of vibes. Okay, So she would get that and and then you know, go to the grocery store. The unfortunate part about that. Fortunate, but unfortunately some of the stuff was free from the government, like powdered milk. Disgusting, you know what I'm saying, Like

A the cheese cheese was great.

You can hear a little sizzle, so I can smell some stuff cooking too. So we in there, we're moving, you know what I'm saying we're moving. Now, what I'm gonna do to speak this process up just a little bit. I'm gonna go ahead and add the porking beans, because see I was trying to get them a little sizzle. But we just gonna let it simmer. That's what we're gonna do. Let it simmer. So we're gonna put the porking.

Beans in there. Oh yeah, this is gonna be right. Oh this is gonna be right.

We need a little bring back real memories for you.

Absolutely. I mean I haven't eaten like this and forever, but I'm.

Sure, well you you have children now, you don't ever say, hey, I'm gonna show you what it was like.

So let me tell you what's funny.

During COVID, every thing was like on short supply, So the luxuries are just going out and grabbing whatever and expecting it to last.

Forever was not always there. You didn't know. We didn't know.

So what I told my kids and my wife too, I was like, Yo, I'm finna run and get all the struggle foods that I got grown up, so we'll have them in the worst case scenari Because we didn't know what was gonna thought the world was gonna end. So I got the can spinach, I got the can vegetables, all of that type of stuff. But what I did was I got the ramen noodles too. A lot of people don't know how to do this, but I chopped the ramen noodles up to what they like rice, and.

Then you put that in some oil, you let it simmer up.

It gets a little soft, and then you chop up like some chicken or something like that, and.

Add some cheese.

It's like you got like it's kind of like sturfries. It's like riceeroni or something like that. It's amazing. I'm telling a lot of people don't know about it, but it's a little you get created.

They loved it, really, they loved it.

But I was like, it's it's it's it's too much sodium in this, y'all can't y'all should not be eating all of this.

It's too much sodium in here.

But now, isn't the sodium This is just a random sidebar question, but isn't the sodium in the packet of seasoning. It's not considered not in the.

You know, you use the seasoning though.

Yeah, yeah, but that's the key to the secret stirf. I is it the seasoning I use.

I would use some of it, not all of it. I try to use half of the seat. I mean, my son still would eat ram noodles to this day.

Okay, who doesn't love ram?

You know what I'm saying. I still eat them to this day.

Like I don't want my kids to feel spoiled and entitled just because we have arrived outside of having to eat the struggle meals. I still want them to, you know, have an appreciation. Yeah, you know what I'm saying, Never be too you, never too good for packingt Ramen noodles.

You know what I'm saying, never too good, So.

Never too good.

Yeah.

Now I know your testimony. I know I'm familiar with some of your testimony. Okay, but I want the real, real passenger seat of this testimony. So you and you grow up in a single parent household with your mother. Your father separates from you. Guys, how often are you seeing him?

Never?

Never? For how many years?

For all my life?

So? I saw him once when I was about ten or eleven. He had gotten a made some money with some pharmaceutical sales. He came to see me gave me what took me shopping, and then I never saw him again.

And I was like, and I don't say that like.

I never sew him again, but I mean just the reality is, you know, he comes from a different era, different generation. I think they have different struggles and just kind of like dealing with the reality what he was dealing with.

I think he was.

You know, his dad wouldn't have come to him and been like son, I apologized.

That his dad would have been like, well, that's what life does. Keep it pushing.

So how did you feel as a growing up with him and then him disappear? Did that crazy?

Some kid? I didn't really get to know him. So he left when I.

Was like three, oh with three later.

Nah, I didn't really get to know him. He left when I was three.

I saw him again at ten, and then I didn't see him again until I have never sat down and had a conversation with my I had my first sit down conversation meal with him in twenty twenty, so like five years ago. Wow, first time we ever interacted for real.

So that was it was eye opening, you know.

But you know, I'm at a stage in my life where I'm not I'm not a boy who's missed out on having a father.

I'm a man who had to become something that he never had, you know what I'm saying. So you just learn. It's a lot of wounds.

You learn to deal with those wombs and then you know you you grow from it. And so I wouldn't be able to sit here and cook Beanie Whenie's.

If I hadn't gone through some of the Yeah, the struggles.

But did you face that? INTI your battle of like wondering what happened? Did your mom have those conversations with you? What did that look like?

She didn't have a conversation. She didn't have But now she's a brilliant woman. Back then she was young. She just didn't have the tools and the skill set to know.

Put a little bit of this slappy my mom here in the meantime you talk about MAMAE me think put some slappy my mown and it's real quick. Put a little bit on the corner too, just hit it with you know what I'm saying. But she didn't have the skills to know how to talk to me about those types of things. She was young, So I didn't deal with the struggle that I had from not having my

Would want me.

And I don't do that now, Like that's not why I'm successful, but that's what was driving my success as a younger person, you.

Know what I'm saying.

So it was that fuel in that well, I got to become somebody, and who am I unless I'm approved of? And so now you know, for me, I know God approves of me, God loves me.

So I'm I'm good.

But as a kid, oh man, it messed me up, and I didn't realize how bad it messed me up, you know what I'm saying.

Yeah, yeah, So now let's go to the next pivotal milestone as we inch towards where you're at today. Okay, what was that next pivotal thing that happened in your life that either led you towards music.

Yeah, you know, so I started rapping as a kid.

So the other thing about it was my mom because she was a single parent and she had a lot on her shoulders. I mean she had she you know, she had boyfriends. She ended up getting married again that didn't work out, but.

It was it was kind of chaotic.

So I would stay with my grandmother for months at a time and stay with my grandmother. My grandmother's house was like a hotel, you know, like all the family members would come stay there. So every time I would go stay with my grandmother, I would stay for like three months at a time, four months at a time.

And I was like blown away.

Watching it over their shoulder and they said, Hey, what you doing in here? But then they said come on in here, and I.

Just fell in love.

I stayed up after that every night watching rap videos.

So I fell in love with.

Rap music probably like seven eight years old, and about ten, I was writing my own.

I was trying to impress the girls in the neighborhood. You know what I'm saying.

I remember writing a song to this girl, Trina. It was like training Trina. I won't dishha, I won't treat you like aisha like it was.

You know what I'm saying.

It was just me trying to But that's really what birth something in me to like pursue the music, you know what I mean.

So what do you think about about the rap music in particular that really pulled at you at the time.

I think it was like I could see, I could relate. I saw pictures of myself. I saw like Tupac was my favorite rapper as a kid. And the reason why is because he told these honest stories about his life and his life It felt real and authentic, and he told stories about not having his dad, he told stories about his pain, He talked about just the drama and

Laurence Hill too.

It was like, y'all wanna help people with your music, And I was like, I wanna do that.

But I did. I didn't know how, and I didn't know.

I didn't have a relationship with God really at the time either, So I didn't even understand any of what was gonna be my future.

You know what I'm saying.

Did you grow up in any type of religious type household whatsoever? Mom, Grandma?

So the funny thing about it is my mom grew up in church. She hated it because it was so religious. She couldn't wear makeup, she couldn't wear pants, she couldn't go to like sporting events like all of this.

I know it was crazy.

It's like religious cult like type of but you know, she was raised like they were from the country. They didn't know, like they're not really educated, so they just like mixing like superstition and religion together. So my mom just was like, I don't want you around all that stuff. Be a free thinker, think freely. So I didn't really. I wasn't raised in church. We didn't go that much. I would go when I was with my grandmother. My grandmother was big into the church, but I didn't understand

Yeah, but I did see her lifestyle and that was inspiring.

Her lifestyle was like feed the homeless, take care of people. We would drive cause this is in southern California, so we would drive to Tijuana and just go up into Mexico in the mountains and she would like bring food and feed people. I'm sitting here talking about the Messa's food up.

Wait, I didn't know you were from La La.

I thought you, Yeah, so well, I saw.

So we stayed in southern Cali, but then I also in Texas as well. So I would go, you know, back and forth Texas, southern California, even Denver, Colorado, so back to southern Caulty.

So so we would go to Mexico.

We would You know, my grandmother she didn't she just she her character was dope, you know what I'm saying. She wanted me to have a relationship with God, but she didn't know. She wasn't like educated and all of that. She just knew the Lord.

So she was like I was like maybe five, and she was like, do you love God? I was like, yeah, I think. So she's like, all right, We're gonna baptize you in the ocean, you know what. I didn't know what's going on, you know what I mean. So it was an interesting dynamic.

Yeah, and then when would you go around your mom and then ask like questions maybe per se not.

Really because to me, religion just seemed like Grandma's like kind of like backwoods country.

Stuff, you know what I mean.

It was like, eh, my mom was like big on education, made me read books and you know, stuff like that. So you know, let me tell you something funny as we're making this. I have eaten this a million times. I've never I don't think i've ever made it. I made it, I made a spinach. I don't know if I've ever made this. I've eaten it a million times. I don't know if I've ever made it. Maybe I did. You know what I probably did in a microwave. That's

And now is that you're realizing that because you're looking at it and you're like, I don't know if this was is supposed to.

Look it don't look I don't remember looking like this, but I'm thinking of it.

And I was like, you know what, because I didn't really make it. My mom made it pretty most part. But I think I put it in a microwave. I'm pretty sure I put it in a microwave.

Yeah yeah, I mean, especially if you said you've been cooking it from very young. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I feel like her trusting you with the stove.

Nah, I put everything in the microwave. I sure did. I was a microwave baby microwave. But I can cook though, Okay, I mean I can cook. What I can cook, Okay.

I'm not gonna say like, if if I know how to cook it, it's gonna be good.

Ok That's what I'll say.

Because we had garlic powder back, that we had onion powder backs all these seasons. He grabbed the slavy o mama. Guys trying to judge, But that's like, if you can't cook, trust in this, Oh.

For sure, Oh for sure, then that then that being the case, I cannot cook because slapyr Mama does the work for me.

For sure.

Slappy Mama doesn't work for me. Yeah, my wife can cook, I'm not. I mean I can grill, though, play.

With me on the grill.

I love how you're slowly walking it back because.

I'm saying I can cook what I can cook.

I can fry some chicken, I can make spaghetti okay, I can make burritos and tacos okay.

And then I can grill everything else.

Okay, you know what I'm saying, Some vegetables, some sides, gotcha. So when you were first saying that you would spend time with your grandma in between your grandma and your mom, I just assumed they lived close together. No, so you would get on a plane and.

Go for like since a little kid. So that was a crazy thing too.

It's like I'll fly by myself, like she would work two jobs and then pay half the ticket. My grandma may pay the other half of the ticket, and then I would hop on a plane by myself since a little kid.

Like.

So I remember flying with the flight attendant, playing like cards.

With 'em, you know what I'm saying.

But I would stay for months at a time, so it really wasn't like a couple times we drove, but like very.

Few, you know what I mean.

But yeah, I remember that like and I loved it. The only the reason why I didn't stay. I remember around fourteen, the gang started taking over and the gang culture.

Started pulling me in a little too strong.

So my mom was like, hey, it's we gonna change the scene up. You know what I'm saying, It's time to change stuff up. And I kicked and screamed, I rebelled.

But was your attitude at home slowly starting to shift a little bit? They were pick it.

Oh yeah, my attitude at home. I mean the clothes I was wearing, the rags hanging out of my pocket, the graffiti in the in on the streets getting brought home by the police.

Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, you and your grandma called it.

In No, I would get my My grandma was kind of oblivious to it. So my uncle's my uncle was like a a a reputable gang member in the neighborhood. So I followed after him a lot. He was like, like my dad. He's only ten years older than me, but he was like my dad. So he's like, you know, this is what this is, this is what that is. I ain't gonna say all the things he showed me, but he showed me a lot of things that you know,

And my mom saw.

That and she was like, this is not what I want for you. So then she moved and then I and it was like, I c I didn't go back to California again.

For probably good gracious I was. I was in Texas. I probably didn't go back from fourteen till nineteen.

Wow. She was like, this is not happening for you.

Pivotal time.

No fourteen, good job, mom, shout out to you. Yeah for real, Yeah, so you go back to Texas? How are you feeling Texas? Are you coming with that same attitude?

I tried. But here's the thing.

She got remarried and he got a good job, right, and so we moved to a nicer area.

We didn't have a lot of money, we didn't have any furniture, but we lived in a nicer area. So it was kind of like.

That type of energy was weird, you know what I'm saying, Because it was like, it's like, why are you trying to be the toughest.

Dude in a nicer area? You know what I'm saying.

It's like, why are you trying to be the hardest dude in Pasadena?

You know what I'm saying? Like what's going on here? You know what I'm saying. So that's kind of what it felt like.

And so I just I kind of started thinking about it, and just I was around different types of people, like folks who were trying to do something with their life. And on a street narrow, a lot of the kids were talking about going to college, and I was like, man, you know, it was kind of like, you know, like changing my perspective. So I started to mature being around that. And then I had teachers who actually cared about me, and they weren't, you know. So my first year I failed everything almost I.

Had, like I failed almost every class.

But then as I kept progressing, I would do better. Teachers cared about me, invested in me. And one teacher said, man, you got a gift in you know, like acting, and she was like, you should pursue this, and so I actually I pursued it. I started, you know, getting involved in like school plays, and which is weird.

I was embarrassed. I didn't tell anybody, you know what I'm saying, because I was like, you.

Didn't tell anybody as in family members.

No, like people in my friends in the school, because I was the plays weren't performed. We only did one play in front of the whole school, and I was embarrassed about it. But I was like, it's all good. I just I'm gonna do it. But but I but I knew I had something because everybody was like, you got something. And then and they encouraged me to audition for a scholarship and I did it on a whim and got a full ride.

Are you serious? And just to backtrack with your stepfather at the time being a provider, was your mom more hands on with you. Would you say during that era she.

Still had to work. She worked a lot still, but she was home more. For sure, she was home more. She still had to work, she was home more.

You know.

He was really traditional. He was kind of like they weren't. It wasn't like a healthy environment. It still was like you know how they say you could take them out the hoods, You can't take the hood out of them. So it's like it's like, yeah, you went from Compton to Pasadena, but you still brought Compton with you to Pasadena, and so still like some stuff in the house wasn't bad, you know, it wasn't good.

So that obviously that relationship dissolved. But yeah, man, I think she.

You know, she's always been solid, just been stamped.

She's a fighter, she's a grinder. That the spirit of hustle. She put that in me. You know what I'm saying.

Now, were you still doing rap music at that time during like the whole acting error too?

I was, but I kind of put it on the back burner, you know, and I put it on the back burner.

I started.

I'm in school right now, so I'm acting and I'm rapping on the side. I'm doing a lot of stupid stuff on the side.

If I'm being honest with.

Let's talk about the stupid stuff just a little bit. You're trying to get the whole testimony, and I gotta story testimony with you.

Okay, Okay, yeah, yeah.

You can.

Okay, I'm gonna serve you up. Let me hold on. Let me see my little business line out.

I was the whole time. I was like, I wonder if no, no.

No, I take my business line out real quick. Okay.

So here's the thing, though, I gotta sample it, make sure it's like I got sample it to make sure it's right.

Because there's not too much a slap your moment.

I don't trust.

I don't trust that it's gonna be just right unless I sample it myself.

You can't really mess with corn, can you.

I mean, you're not supposed to be able to. But mm hmm, it's it's not slipping. But it's cool. It's cool.

I told him that I was gonna judge it, so he's putting extra you know.

Now, this I didn't season at all. This is this don't look like my mama's.

It looks is it too saucy?

It looks it looks very get hurt. No, I mean, it just looks like it got too hot at the bottom.

But it's all good. We're gonna we're gonna burn it. I didn't burn it, but definitely.

Here I'm gonna slide.

It's definitely not like you know what I'm saying me.

Get you it's hot dogs in there.

Yeah, I don't know how hungry you are, giving you sample, give.

Me sample size. You want to save my stomach just in case.

I mean, nah, I think it's gonna be straight, but you know, you never know, you ever know.

There we go.

I had Beanie weenies at first.

And then cool. Now the stoves turned off. You can getting closer to this, mica.

Okay, bam bam, make sure it's off. All right.

Here we go, guys, we're gonna sample spinach first.

Yeah, now about the spinach. Like I said, I didn't put the butter on youre like I should have. But you know it's all good.

That's good.

Yeah, what I'm saying. It gets a job done.

Your mom said it was it was better than the Did you say it was better than by the way he phoned his.

Mama, I did. I had to. I had to hit mama.

Spinach is good. Yeah, no, no, I think I like the believe he spinach.

I do too. Year that up.

Yeah, because this is like extra muskey. Yeah, this is the pork and beans, not baked beans.

Guys.

Mm hmm, good, great job. It's the only thing you didn't season.

I didn't do anything to this, but I never have season this my mama, and I don't think she sees it.

It's really good with the hot dogs, all right, corn, But I would have put butter.

In that too.

Now I notice he doesn't mix his stuff up at all in real life too.

Not no, not really, I can, but I don't. I'm kind of like OCD like that.

Corn is phenomenal. All right, guys, look break and good. You know, as long as you have slapped your mom in the kitchen, he could cook. I'm just messing with it, right. This is a great dish, and you know what, I would just mix it all together on one four.

There you got. You can do that. I mean, that's nothing wrong with that.

Look at that.

Yeah, what the funny thing about you?

This is a great dish. It works, and it's affordable. So if you guys are pursuing your dreams out there. They're going through hard times. This is a totally fine dish.

You know, It's funny because when I, like I was telling you I was doing a bunch of stupid stuff and I wouldn't. It's funny because I was. I was I was fake rich because I was making money fast the wrong way.

Oh that's what type of stuff.

Yeah, making money fast the wrong way and hustling and doing dumb stuff.

But in a good neighborhood you were doing that?

Yeah?

Well really, really what happened? So this is the funny part about it is I should have seen opportunity. Instead I saw a lick.

I saw like, oh, victims, you know what I mean.

So it was kind of like I took advantage of that, and it was like, y'all people, it's it's car doors that are unlocked, Like y'all are crazy, Like that's my opportunity. And then you know, I just saw I was just always looking for opportunities. That's one thing I will say is like I was looking for opportunity. I've always been that type of person, like where's the opportunity for me to do what I need to do. I just was doing it in the wrong way, you know what I mean. So,

I would get a bunch of high school kids.

I'm fresh out of I'm in college, like my second year in college or something like that.

So I'm like twenty out of college. Yeah, out of college. Okay.

I was like, what happened?

So I'm promoting these parties. And what I would do with the parties was when you come to the party, I will sell you some things when you get to the party, you know what I mean. And that's kind of how I would move. So I was, you know, we were promote these parties. You make all this money. You got thousands of dollars on you one night, we

So, oh, I know what you do?

You know what I mean?

Okay, yeah, I thought you were going to say they the Nah, they.

Just came through the back and took the money out the trunk. So now thousands of dollars are gone. So now I'm like, man, you know that was really frustrating. But I should have learned my lesson because at this time, I feel like God was dealing with me.

But I just wouldn't listen. I wouldn't learn my lesson.

And then I go to the school that same week and I'm going to pass out flyers. I got some stuff in my car that I should not have in my car, if you know what I'm saying. And I'm in the school passing out these flyers and I see the campus, like not the campus, but like the high school, like security whatever you call the people that walk around the high school. And they spot me, but I'm thinking I blend in. I look young enough. I'm thinking they're not.

Wait, this isn't you're going to high schools to do.

I'm going to high school. So school gets out, so I'm trespassed. All I'm all bad that line, I'm all bad, but I'm not. I'm just thinking I've done it a million times, so you just you're dumb. You're young too, you're nineteen, You're dumb. So I'm on the campus and then I'm trying to pass out the flyers and then I see the officer looking at me and he's walking toward me, and then so I just I cut out. Well apparently I don't know how they did it, but

They said no.

They cut me up. They put me in the back of the police car. So then they go search my car.

My goodness.

Now the crazy part about it is in my car I have things I should I have, and I also have my grandmother the Bible. My grandmother gave me so she gives me this Bible and it was like a good luck charm. But at the time I had really been trying to learn more about God and I was reading through it, even highlighting underlining some stuff.

So it was used, you see what I'm saying.

So the police officer he comes back to the police car and he's like, he's like, that's your Bible in the car. I said yes, sir. He was like, you need to stay in that Bible. I see you've been reading it. I said yes, sir. He said, I need you to stay in that Bible. I don't want to see you no more. And I was like, okay. So I'm thinking, oh, he didn't find the stuff. Thank god, I'm free. He lets me out the car. I go

Yeah, you know, I'm just curious a bat. What was causing that little bit of curiosity into the Bible to begin with.

I think I was just going through a lot.

I was depressed, I was going through hard times, had a pregnancy scare with my girl at the time, and I was just in a dark place, you know. I had gotten into some some fights and just the money's gone.

I'm thinking about dropping out of school. I was dealing with.

Depression and no, no, no, I didn't have pregnancy scare. I got my girl pregnant and then I forced her to get an abortion. Okay, you know what I'm saying. So it wasn't even pregnancy scary. It was like I forced her. I'm dealing with that. She was crying, she's depressed about it. I was like, man, it was no other way, you know. So my life just felt like this is going downhill, you know, And it just felt like, man,

Know, some young you know, Christian starts showing me love as well, and I'm like, this is weird.

But it was just a beautiful time where people embraced me and just were showing me love and they weren't beat.

Me over the head with stuff, and it was just it was just love.

It was the family that I wanted growing up but I didn't have because I was at home by myself a lot of times.

My mom loved me, for sure, but she had to work. You know what I'm saying.

No male figures ever showed me any love, said my uncle, and he was going down a dark path himself. You know, he's rehabilitated, thank the Lord. You know, he's on a straight arrow now. And then my dad's not in my life. So I just wanted a sense of belonging, you know, to feel like I mattered. And this this community of people show me that I that they loved me and that I mattered. So I was open to listening to what what y'all talking about? Like give me the God stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah, Now.

As you got into the church, more were you exposed to there's I love love, love, love love this story. I was a later Christian. I'm Jewish and Jamaican, grewup Jewish and Jamaican later Christians.

So it's a lot of good food on your side, both sides.

I don't know about the Jewish side.

They got that bread man. Bread is good.

Okay. But now, and I have to dig into this a little bit because even when I first came to God, there was like churches full of love, full of love, and then you did have the churches that were very rigorous in their like the upward Walk or whatever rules. And then you get exposed to quote unquote you know the I kind of compare the more to like the the parent Pharisees and the and that that's a conflicting thing to be exposed to. Did you get exposed to all that in that in that error?

And I didn't because it was mostly just the love, because it was a lot of young people who see The thing that that made me say I didn't want to like really follow God is because I didn't see people who look like me, just young people who just like looked like me, was dealing with the same type of stuff I was dealing with. But when I saw him, I said, oh, well, if y'all can follow God, so goodnight in you know.

Oh, it went from like a grandma situation exactly like us.

Yeah, the grandma's stuff and shout out to my grandmother.

She's great. But I'm saying, like that idea of what it looked like. I wasn't rocking with that. But when I saw it meet me where I was at, it was cool.

Down the line.

Yeah, I ran into more people who were like you know, especially when I started doing music, when I changed my music up.

So now I changed my music and I start rapping, and I graduate school, I get a job.

It's crazy part I I couldn't find a job when I graduated college. So I was a cableman, but I was a hustler. So one time the vice president of the cable company came in to talk to us all and I said, hey.

Excuse me.

I got a degree and I was wondering this on my off days, if I could just come in and intern for free in the marketing apartment.

And they was like, oh, we like this guy.

So then I interned and it ended up hiring me in the marketing apartment for this big cable company. Right, so I'm working my nine to five at the cable company. But then I'm also like making music and doing little shows on the side. And every time I would do concerts, you know, people would bring me out come to a concert at my church or at this you center.

Whatever, And your music is now fully Christian at this.

Point in time, Yeah, absolutely fully Christian.

So now I'm like, I got little gigs here and there, and I didn't know about the church because I'm I became a Christian and started following God with a bunch of college students, not like with a church group, you.

Know what I'm saying.

So so I didn't know how the church rules were and all that type stuff. So then I would start going to these little spaces and they, you know, coming in dress like I'm dressed, my tattoos, I got my hat cocked to the side. This is back in like the dipset arrow with the do rag hanging down, you know what I mean, And they like, you gotta take the hat off of here.

And I was like, huh, what was you talking about?

You can't wear hatt in this building and then it was like, hey, you said, God is not pissed off at you. You can't use that type of language here.

And I was like, what you know? So I didn't.

That's when I started running into that like very churchy religious world.

And did that provide any confliction in there?

Oh?

Yeah, but not immediately because immediately at first I was like I'm wrong with y'all. But I think as I got further in my career and I really started to take off, I started.

Doing really well, you know.

And I think the reason why I started doing well was because I wasn't from the church, you know what I'm saying. Because I could connect with the average everyday people. So church people like what I was doing, regular people who wasn't following God like they was like, that's kind of dope, Like it sounds like I had.

Even some of my homeboys would be like, you sure you want to just do this for God? Bro? You dope?

Bro? You know what I mean?

You could really blow up. And I was like, Nah, this is the path I'm on.

But as my career kept going upward and more upward and upward, and God just kept blessing me. I think I became so trusting because I didn't grow up with a family. I became so trusting of all of these quote unquote church folks, and I was like, oh, we all are family. And I let my guard down, which is okay, sometimes you gotta let your guard down. But I let my guard all the way down to where I started finding my identity and my worth and how much they loved me and not how much God loved me.

It got dark, really dark to where I was.

Like, maybe I'm done with God because they tripping.

And how far into your career was that?

This is like.

Probably ten years in so ten years I'm going crazy. Ten years Like bam, bam bam. This is a build up, you know. And I think it like we eating this struggle meal.

This is like if you never forget.

Where you came from, you can go further. It's when people forget where they came from. People forget how to struggle, People forget the power of broke when you broke, and all you got is this You got to figure out how to make it work, you know what I mean.

Hey, we don't have this, Okay, it's cool. We'll figure out what make it work.

And people just was like, oh, we got to have him, we got to use this, we got to do that, and people want to work with you.

So I think that's part of what happened for.

Me was over that ten year span of time, I just kept rising, rising, rising, because I never looked at myself as having arrived, and I saw so many other people they're like, oh, I made it.

Yeah, you know, especially in today's there if they get like ten thousand followers have arrived, like your bank account says.

I still don't. I don't feel like I made it today.

You know what I'm saying, Oh yeah, yeah, you made it.

Nah.

But I'm saying that's the power of broke.

It's just always I'm grateful, I'm content, but I always feel like I think the other thing is if you've been here, you're always afraid you're gonna be back here.

That's a real thing.

Yeah. Something.

Now, I've interviewed some people that are like, what's worse. I've already done it. I've done the syrup sandwich. You know. So I go back, you know, and I'm.

Like, I cannot be back.

I honestly think it's the entrepreneurs that more lean that way. They're like a gamble again. No, you almost went back during COVID.

I mean I could go back to trying it, but I could if I have to, I will if there's nothing else I can do.

Cool, but I will exhaust myself.

I will go work at the post office before I go back.

Like where this is survival? I said, right, this is where you're like, I don't want this to be. I under I think a lot of people that have gotten to where you've gotten to. It was like please please please please, no no no, I would never listen.

Man. It was a couple of young artists. I remember this like twenty eighteen. I'm on the road with these young artists and they had a viral hits.

The song was big.

This is when I was signed to Columbia and we was like on a radio tour. So you know, I got the song out. Tie Dollar Sign is blown up I'm on doing radio tours and I'm on a tour with these young artis. Ain't gonna say their names, but they had a big hit and were backstage and their kids, you know, like, and I see them with this one hundred thousand dollars worth the jewelry on and so I'm

And it was like, na, we just make another hit. It never came. It never came.

Think is that? I think when you pawn in those some of those jewelry, especially when they're custom, they're not worth anything. Like when they do the custom, you know, when someone has like their name.

And the colors, they lose value. Yeah, they lose immediately.

So that's what I'm saying. I don't like, I don't want to go back. I'm not going back your money. Who absolutely, I can't go backwards. Can't go backwards, like not all the way back? Yeah no, Like uh uh, I can't be on stages rapping.

For Beanie Weenie's. We can't. We can't do that. No, it's not what we want.

So during the periods of where you're in a your your career is doing well, but now you're starting to question things. What is pulling you out.

Of that the darkness?

Good friends, for one, you just I always have friends who kept usided with me.

Sometimes it was hard, especially.

When you know you win in Grammy's you're making a lot of money. Your friends like don't know, it's weird for them because they're like people want your autograph or take a picture, and it's like that's weird.

You just you, you know what I mean.

But the good part about that was they never looked at me like wow. They always just saw me as you, just you. So when I was going through stuff, they could keep it real with me and they could just be there and they weren't like coddling me and being like, you know, they would just keep it real, like, hey, man, this is where you dropped the ball at, this is where you tripping at, this is where you probably need some help at. And good friends. My best friend is

Have been cooked cooked.

So she kept it solid and she was like because I told her, I said, Man, I don't know what I believe right now. I'm not doing no Bible studies with kids, none of that type of stuff. I'm just like, yeah, I was like, I don't I don't know what I believe right now.

Wow.

And to be honest with you, I was kind of like, if God ain't real, marriage is just the institution.

Oh wow? And so why did I.

Even do this? You know what I'm saying. I'm like trying to rethink. I'm just pulling up all the stuff.

So the relationship you had with the church folks or whatever starting to cause this little these cracks, right, what makes it go to the point where you start to say, well, if God isn't real?

Though?

Because I felt like, because what it was was people hurt me, but I blame God. You see what I'm saying, God's people hurt me, but I blame them God instead of his people, you know what I'm saying. So that was really the thing is like I trusted y'all, looked up to y'all. Y'all gave me all the right answers, you pastors, you leaders, you told.

Me this was this and this was this.

But then when I got some questions about stuff, or when I do something that y'all don't like or y'all disagree with, you turn your back on me, or you talk crazy about me.

So I'm like, well, what can I trust that.

Comes out your mouth exactly? You know, That's what I started thinking. But then I was like, you know what, even the clock is right two times a day. So it's like, y'all were right about God. Y'all are wrong about the way you're treating me in this season. You know what I'm saying.

Oh, I like that in this season too. Yeah, So that I guess that for forgiveness.

Forgiveness growth, for them to have they perspective, and a lot of people to come back and apologized, A lot of them have a lot of them are like, bro, I was tripping.

I didn't understand it. I didn't see it. You know.

So a lot of people came back and some of it. Some of it had to do with you know, I feel like politics crept into the church and just turned everything upside down. So if you didn't agree with somebody politically, it.

Was like, oh, you out of here.

Or if you cared about issues of justice, but they felt like this is a political.

Thing, it's like, nah, I just care about people, you know what I mean.

They're like, ah, that person's a criminal. You shouldn't care about the let them. And I'm like, yeah, that sounds crazy. So they're like you sound crazy, and now it turns into a fight.

I was like, I can't deal with this.

What does your wife say during this whole period of questioning that kind of helps you.

I think it's not what she said, it's what she did. She just stay solid, you know what I'm saying. She said, I'm just gonna pray for you. She's like, I'm just gonna pray for you. And she just prayed, stay solid and prayed and wasn't like. She was like, I don't have an argument. I don't have the energy to go back and forth with you arguing. I'm gonna pray. I'm gonna talk to your friends. I'm gonna hope that, and

Where did I come from?

I came from drugs, I came from being in the streets. I came from doing figuring out how to hustle. So I'm now I'm thinking through, if I'm not gonna do this Christian rap thing, what kind of hustling am I gonna do?

You know?

And I'm depressed and I'm tripping, and I'm drinking now a whole lot, and I'm popping Xanax.

And I'm just like spiral this whole period.

Yeah, oh my, I'm.

Just going downhill. So I woke up in a depression. And that's when it was like a clinical depression. That's when this stuff was too hot. It's like, oh, it's too hot, and I'm addicted to these pills. And I'm waking up in a panic and I'm like, oh, I'm I'm tripping, and you know, I blame myself, But at the same time, I feel like the enemy was just putting stuff around me to make it worse. So it's like I'm trying to find a doctor to go talk to about a prescription.

I can't find one. But then I find like.

A pill farm on accident. It just so happened to be a pill farm around the corner. And then this is a doctor doctor and he like, yeah, take two of these, man, you feel good.

I'm like addicted. Yeah, you know what I mean. So it was just a process, man.

And how long did that process take?

I would say this was it was an ongoing battle for two years. Wow, it's a two.

Year battle, from like twenty sixteen to twenty eighteen. I was just in a battle, you know what I'm saying.

It would be like.

It would be like six months, I don't care about nothing, nothing matters. And then one month, I'm like, all right, I'm tripping, and then it'd be like three months, No, I'm not tripping.

This is stupid, man. One month, maybe there is a God and you know, so.

Just eventually you pick up the Bible again or yeah.

So what happened was in that depression, I'm in a very low moment and I'm just like I can't snap out of this.

I can't snap out of this. And I was like I didn't want to pray because I was like, nah, God, I feel like that ain't right for me to pray.

I didn't turn my back on you like I'm afectin to come try to pray, you know, like I'm and that's pride, you know, because God isn't sitting back like.

You better stay over there, you know what I'm saying. Like, so pride kicked in. But then I was just so down. I couldn't shake it.

Like one day, two day, three day, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, about five six days and I can't shake it, and.

I'm like, yo, help. So then i I'm sitting down. I'm just like all right, man, I was like, God, I don't even know what to say. But if you got something for me. I'll take it.

I'll open up the Bible and it's on the story when after Peter had denied Jesus three times and then Jesus comes to him after he resurrects, and he's just like, hey, you know, do.

You love me? Peter's like, you know, I love you. He's like, do you love me? He's like, you know I love you. He's like do you love me? He's like, yeah, I know, I love you, and feed my sheep.

And what that said to me was this man denied God, but God was still like I ain't tripping on that.

Just get back to work. I'll forgive you. And then I just broke. I'm like, you know what I'm saying. So that's what's spinning all on. And I mean from there we just start building back.

Man shout outs to God.

Yeah for sure.

All right, Well, dang, this is this is just a nice experience to hear your testimony from you. This closets Why don't you told me and everyone out there listening like how they could keep up with you. I know you have a podcast right now and all that.

Yeah, you can definitely tap in on the podcast. The Deep End with La Craze.

Make sure you tap.

In and share with everyone what you talk about on the show, and they guess you have.

The deep end is where faith meets culture. So what's going on in culture in society. I mean, it's not like it's it's a conversation. It's not always going to be like some it's not a Bible study, but it's a conversation and faith gets weaved into it. We've talked with Will Smith about his spiritual journey. I talk with Nick Cannon about what it's like to have all them kids and why you ain't stopping you no time soon.

I think he's I think he's stopping. I think he's he's Hella's like pausing.

Yeah he needs he should have paused a long time. I love you. Nick.

We talked to like, you know, some only fans creators who got off of there and they're exposing like some of the problems with it.

Man. It's just lots of different people from different walks of life. You know. We'll talk to like pastors and ask him like hard questions.

Like yo, man, what's up with the money in the church, and like what's going on behind the scenes. And it's just where faith and culture meet the questions that the culture wants to ask and conversations the culture wants to talk about.

But from a faith perspective.

When you say the culture, you mean like black audience or youth audience.

I mean just the world. And I would say probably between if you between twenty.

Five and forty, this is like the stuff that you're thinking about.

Yeah, you know what I'm saying.

So it's like the stuff that you're thinking about and let's just let's talk about it.

But I hear like college students listen to it.

Too, so you know, it's interesting. It's interesting. The conversations are deep. It's it covers all the all the questions you'd want to know, and that like when I watch them, Yeah, you're asking the questions that I'm thinking that you I want you to ask. Yeah, so it's good your present.

I love when people say that.

That's like one of my favorite texts, Like, man, I'm glad you asked them. I wanted to know the same thing. I'm just gonna ask you what people want to know.

Yeah. Yeah.

And then music, what's going on with that?

I got this collaboration project with Miles Minnet.

He's a younger artist. He lives here, but he's based in the Bay. He is in LA but he's based based in the Bay from the Bay. But anyway, Yeah, so that project's out.

It's called Get Will Soon. You know.

We got E forty on air, we got Yellow Hill on the air, we got Amy Zuko, we got it. I'm missing somebody, DJ Moski, I'm missing somebody forgiving album.

Yeah. Yeah, So it's a project that we put together West Coast. Like nobody's business.

It's just I always wanted to really make some good West Coast music and I felt like, you know, I just didn't really make what I wanted to make historically, so I always made a song here or there. But

So how did you guys link up the.

Funny part about it is he met me when I was on tour years ago but I don't remember, but he was a fan.

He waited outside my tour bus and he was like, man, I just want to give you this ten dollars man, and.

I was like, I can't take this money from you, bro. You know, it was like, he's the last ten dollars. But I just want to sow. Wear want to go and I want to be on where you are.

And I was like, Okay, you know what I'm saying.

You buy craylatte and then you never know what happened, you know what I'm saying.

So but he did that.

But then years later he was bubbling, he was making some noise and he hit me up and asked me to do a song with him. And I did that song and that was fun and I liked his He was a humble dude. I liked his demeanor. Then after we did that song, then it turned into me wanting to put him on a song.

He worked so fast. Yeah, I said, we can, let's do another one, Let's do another, Let's do another.

And by the time that work Ethic was there. Work Ethic talent, persistence, and he planted that seat.

That's right, So the number one.

By the end of it, it was like we had it.

It's called get well soon, Get well.

Yes, you know, yeah, you know what I'm saying. So when somebody's sick, you said, oh, man, I hope you get well soon. And you know, we feel like a lot of people are sick right now, a lot of people dealing with stuff and you be coming to you got everything from financial stuff to family stuff. So it's like it's just it's just some joy and you put some joy in you in your mix real quick.

On the project? What's your favorite and why?

My favorite is The Method hands down the songs called the Method. It just it's just a West Coast, like it's from I mean from the Bay to Sacramento to La to San Diego. Like no part of Cali's untouched in the song Wow. And you know we got e forty the Mayor on there.

You know what I'm saying.

So it just felt right, man, It's just and we just you know, just want to wake up the West. So working on that and then working on my solo album, and.

We don't know when the date of that is coming out.

Solo album probably be sometime in the fall, okay, okay, and then we'll do a world tour.

That's what we want. That's what we want to hear.

World tour is coming.

It is coming, it's coming. Well, thank you so much for cooking for.

Me, hey man, struggle me.

And then before we sign out, I just got one last question for someone that's going through that transition of you know, Christian to maybe falling off course a little bit to getting back up. What advice would you give to them or what could you share with them to kind of carry them through?

Yeah, Man, I would just say life is a journey. In everybody's journey, I think every person realizes there's a gap that we're trying to like feel right. No matter what you believe in, you know, there's a gap. You know, there's like, man, something's not all the way right, you know what I'm saying. And I think a lot of times we try to mend the gap ourselves, like well maybe if I just get another job, or if I find.

The right guy or the right girl, or if I.

Reach inner peace or you know, and it's like, man, I think that's a god size gap that only God can feel, and a lot of us are avoiding God because we're like, it's too simple, want easy answers and answers that please us, but we don't want. And you know, I think people are afraid of God because they feel like he's going to invade on their their fund or their privacy or whatever. And he wants to just make that better. He wants to bless that.

So don't run from him.

Engage even if you're like, I don't know, like, lean in because you can't the worst. What's the worst that can happen by you leaning in to someone who's supposed to be loving and peaceful and benevolent and good, Like, what's the worst that can happen?

You know what I'm saying. So this is not a toxic boyfriend that's going to do you bad. It's like, so I would just say.

Lean in, even if it's dark and ugly, lean in, you know, let them, let them, let him work on you.

I like that gap to acknowledging that gap right there, because a lot of people I do that. I'd be like, this is little and then with social media, with the seventy five and hard or whatever, I can fix it.

That's human nature posing about.

But no, you're right open the Bible. Yeah, you know, and I think just also just on my own walk is definitely like getting in the Bible versus just going to church. It makes a huge difference.

Oh yeah, for sure, Oh for sure.

And just even just I'm a big audio person. I just listen or ill I can listen to a podcast, I have a conversation about the Bible.

I can, like, you know what I'm saying.

It's like, even if I'm not just sitting there reading myself, which I think people should do, read with other people.

I don't know why we believe.

It's like thinking that you got to be in a corner by yourself with the Bible, just trying to like nobody does that, and like no kid is like you know what, I'm seven and I.

Need to learn algebra. Let me just open an algebra book. Got myself in the corner, you know what I'm saying. It's like, give me some people who know algebra, you know what I mean, and just bounce stuff off each other. So I like that.

Well, thank you so much guys for tuning in, and thank you with great for feeding me. Hey, you know this Trio combo for all the listeners just mixed the spinach with the corn and the the beanie whenies.

Yeah, all right, thanks y'all. Peace Up

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