Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of Eating While Broke. I'm your host, Coleen Witt, and today we have very special guest, comedian actor Lance Woods is in the building.
Thank you so much for having me. It smells good in here. It does like there's been some cooking going.
They would say this, there was a girl that made us really good tacos. Yes, tacos.
That what kind of tacos?
They were ground turkey. But what made her tacos good was she did this, like she fried the flower and it was like a puffy like pastry type. It was really good. It was like all snap, I had to call cut.
And I like it when people get creative with normal ingredients.
Yeah. I never had tacos like that, but that.
Means like my tacos Sea, I fried the lettuce and then and I seized all the cheese individually. People got some things that they do a regular you never thought about.
Never. Never. But speaking of that, I have a slang on the show that goes the broker the dish, the better the story. Okay, And lately I get these dishes and they're like twenty dollars thirty dollars worth of ingredients. Yes, it does feed the whole family. But when we saw your email, it was very simple. Go ahead and tell our listeners what it is you're gonna have me eating today.
Okay, I'm gonna tell you the dish first. This is just some cinnamon toast, not just it is cinnamon toast. The ingredients are simple. You need bread, you need butter, you need sugar, you need cinnamon, You need a toaster or a oven.
Yeah, there we go. I saw that and I was like, oh yes, thank god, Oh my gosh. We ain't got to do a whole lot of shop, but we could just stop by.
You pick some stuff up.
And this is stuff stuff you have in your fridg at home guys. Cinnamon and sugar and butter. So really, if you're out of bread, that's the only thing you need to get. So that's it.
You're gonna get some bread.
Yeah, go ahead and start making the cinnamon toast.
So I'm gonna start cooking it right now.
Yeah.
Oh man, do I get out? Stay? Do I stay seated? Do I?
Really, it's up to you. It's up to you. This is your moment, This is your chef moment.
Can y'all hear me? You can see me still right, yeah, and you were in alive you said what you oh duh. So look first you take your bread. Damn, take your bread, and you put it in the toaster. Now when you now this is key. When you put it in the toaster, you don't just drop it in the toaster. No, you place it in the toaster. Show your bread some love, you know what I mean. You make this dish with love. It's like dropping your baby off at school. You don't just you say hey, and you know what I mean.
Then you set the toaster for it's good. Depending on how you like your toast. No, I mean, if you want some light skin toast, you go a little more that way. You want some dark skinned toast, you go a little more that way. You know what I mean. Right now we are that's right in the middle.
The comedy's already started.
I mean, so we're right in the middle. You know what I mean on the colorism of the toast. Now, everybody has a different method when it comes to pushing the toast. To me, I like to use these two fingers. This is my toaster fingers, you know what I mean. So then when you take these fingers.
I'm sorry for all your listeners out there just wanting to hear his backstory.
And you toast that, and you just let that happen. You let that toast happen. That when the toast is toasted, that's when you are anticipating. You feel me. You're getting excited about what's about to happen. You know what I'm saying, because oh, this is about to be fantastic. Now if you can eat this without the bread being toasted, but then it ain't the same.
I couldn't imagine anything without bread toasted, because.
You shouldn't imagine that. That's something you shouldn't imagine. You got it. If it ain't toasted, it ain't the same.
Have you ever done it toasted?
Absolutely not.
Yeah, that sounds absolutely not.
No, I would never. I don't even so I used to. I'm sorry, this is real to be going back to the origins.
Yes, that was what I was about to ask you.
We're going back to the origins of being broke when you I got grew up in a house. I had two siblings. I'm in the middle. Yeah, I'm the favorite. You got to feed three children, and so it's a lot of bulk stuff, bread, cereal, snacks, big like just filling things. Right, should have a lot of bread because bread is cheap, and you can get a good amount of bread and you make the sandwiches and all of that, and then sometimes you might run out of meat for
the sandwich, the cheese or whatever. So now you gotta get a different kind of creative when it comes. We got all this bread, what we're gonna do with it? You know what I mean? So I used to eat bread balls. You ever had a bread ball? You want to try one?
I'm down to try bread ball. Okay, No, never mind. I think I know what you're gonna do.
I'm not gonna do anything. You're gonna do it. It's a bread it's your bread ball.
All right, let's do this. Okay, I think I know what he's gonna make me do.
Take that bread. Welcome to there you go. Ball it up, ball it up.
Not the crust, that's that's yo.
You know what I mean. If you were a cruster, or if you were not crust, that's on you.
I'm gonna take off the crust.
Okay, take off the crust.
I'm gonna be a special. I'm gonna be one of those. Mom, don't waste the bread.
Yeah, I have.
A feeling I'm not gonna the bread ball.
Yeah, you took a lot of the bread off when you bring it. It was too late. No, that's not forwarding. You got ballt there you there you go, Come on, come on, there you go, there you go.
Where's our hand sanitizer?
No, it's too late. Wasn't no hand sanitizer the nineties. That's why our immune system is so good. These new kids is salt. They need sanitizer for everything. Whatever happened to eating a little flu covid? You're right, Covid.
Told us a lot about germs. Guys, we got the bread ball.
There you go, yeah, yeah, mm hmm.
I wonder if anyone's ever put like cinnamon and sugar in the bread ball.
I don't know. I don't think. No. I just enjoy the raw. But make sure you drink your water because if not, it's going the gray ball gonna stay right there, ain't going nowhere.
Did you come from a two parent household?
Yeah? I came from to a parent household. That's simply put you to private school. I had really good parents, and Claren's parents had a real good marriage. It was the two parent household but we had our issue.
And they had a really good marriage too.
No, they did not. They had a very interesting relationship.
They still married.
No they are not.
Oh look she is piping over here, guys.
Yeah yeah, yeah, okay, boom.
So your parents separated at what age.
I was grown? So my dad was around when I was really small, and then something happened and they got into something, and then he left and he came back, probably when I was around ten something like that. He was back for maybe a few months. They got married. They got married right back, and then they stayed married until I was probably like twenty something. I don't remember the exact days. But then they stayed married. And but it wasn't they shouldn't have been together.
Yeah, so they was fighting from day one, from day one. Okay, so they had a couple of kids after they got back together.
No, we was all there already. Ooh yeah.
Oh so he left and really came back.
He left and came back. Okay, yeah, yeah, he left and came back. They I don't know what happened, but they got it.
Was you didn't ask.
No, I didn't care, Not that I didn't care, but at that time, especially too, it was like staying in a child's place. Back then, as an adult, kids weren't allowed to ask questions, and.
Ask questions later that just it wasn't really really chang.
It just wasn't. I'm somebody who was grateful for a lot. I was just grateful for the time, grateful for this. I wasn't thinking like, why did you eat what we wasn't good? I didn't think like that.
It's like, so you were happy to have them back, happy.
To have them back, happy to have my mom, happy to see them together in the whatever capacity that was. And then when they broke up, I was happy that they did that because I understood that it didn't make sense to be together. I was watching it. You ever had parents that argue a lot.
I'm a mixed bread I was exposed to other problems.
Okay, I was just yeah.
I don't think people really are you Jamaican? My mom's Jamaican. It's like a one.
Sided oh yeah, yeah. You just you gotta listen and be like okay, all right, okay, all.
Right, it's more like a silent okay.
Yeah. Well it's crazy. Was that they would argue so much. It almost was entertainment. Like when you young you just get I mean, you're looking forward to Oh, it's about to be some drama and it would be about anything. That's how you That's how I knew that was supposed really like they would argue over things, that's what.
You like, over how much butter to put on this hot toast.
Now I'm gonna tell you. Now, I'm gonna show y'all this is real. Back back to the basics. So first off, she handed me a butter knife to spread the butter on the toast. First mistake. This is how you gotta do this.
You gotta take it's already melted by the way.
You gotta take this just like this, okay, or it ain't right.
Okay.
The butter knife makes it not official. You take the bread and you take the butter, and you spread it just like that. That's how you gotta do it. You see that. You see what you oh man? Then you take the butter night and you clean up your mess and you put that over there because they fanted.
They brought melted butter.
All right, let me tell you something. They go all out at eating with broke. But this is going back to when you was broke, so you couldn't melt the butter. You have to just let the butter sit out and hope it melted and put it in the sun or something. So then boom, that's how we did it. Like that. You spread the butter on it just like that. It looks like exactly exactly. Boom.
All right, cool, Now we got the butter.
Boom. You see how butter that is.
Boom, a lot of butter.
Now you take your sugar, right yep, Okay, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it this way. Boom. You gonna take the sugar.
It was the last time you had this, man at least twenty something years. Boom, you're about to go down and reminiscent plan Boom.
Then you take the sugar. That's a lot of sugar, it is. And you know what's crazy is usually you will put the cinnamon first. Oh, you will put the cinnamon before the sugar because the cinnamon holds the sugar. Everybody know that. Oh nope, okay, boom. Then you take the cinnamon.
Oh my goodness, that's a lot of cinnamon. Oh my goodness.
Boom. Now, back in the day, because this is your toast, you would have took your finger and spread it properly. But thank god we got some civilization now, So now we're gonna we're gonna spread the sugar and the butter and the cinnamon like that boom and put that on there like that nice. Now try that and tell me that's not taking But tell me that's not the most beautiful delicacy in the hood you ever had.
You know, you're eating this too, right, I would.
Never eat that again in my life. But no, you go ahead, and what are you talking about this?
I think I'm the only tester bunny rabbit around here.
I got you. I got you here.
Okay, cheers, don't give me your butter outside.
I got you. That tastes like seventh grade.
I think I'm better at this than you.
Oh yeah, how to do it?
Uh huh yeah, but this is really good. Hold on, you cut two little sugar in mind loaded up?
Oh okay, okay, hold on, go ahead. Now, it's not enough sugar. Too much sugar, ain't sweet enough. You know what I'm saying there like that? Take another BikeE Now, let me tell you about that.
Let me trying to shave up his dish.
Let me tell you about this. Right here, me and my brothers, my cousins, because my house, our houses, everybody would come to neighborhood. Everybody come kick them out. My brothers, my cousin, my uncles, my young I got uncle. That's my age. My mom is the oldest of nine children. We'd come in my room, bring the toaster, bring the We would literally bring the toaster in the room, bring the toaster in the room, bring the loaf of bread,
bring the butt. And we were just sitting there watching TV making this, eating it like this.
Was the snack.
This was what it was. But you get full because it's bread. We're getting full off this. We this used to be like we look forward to yo. You didn't bring the toaster. With what you're doing, Go get the toaster. You mean nothing to be going back and forth to the kitchen. Were playing video games. We're watching Jerry Springer, Jenny Jones, Martin the Box remember the Box, right music? But and we was eating this. That's how we was getting down.
Take me back, now, So you come from this parent household, where does you start to look towards the comedy direction?
At what age I started comedy when I was I don't know what I know what age I started going into comedy clubs. I was like twenty when I started comedy. I started in my church. So what happened?
While you need some water that dry ass toast.
I don't need no water, I need a whooping. I'm gonna go back. I need to go all the way back. I need to go clean my room or something. This would just take me back to it. Oh wow, I need some chores, you know what.
I'm Oh wow, it's nostalgic.
It's nostalgic, and you ain't got what the TV put your springer on. Let me call it. I'm gonna go home and pie in a bit. So I used to imitate my pastor. I come from. My pastors were animated, So I used to be at the house and I would just imitate him to my mom and my sister's joking. At this point, my brother had already left for college, but I would just be imitating him, just joking around and my sister my mom would laugh, and that was enough for me. And then my mom at the time,
she was over the church anniversary. She would put the programs together for the anniversaries. She said, I'm gonna have you do that at the church. I'm not doing that at the church, you know what I mean. No, And then so at the anniversary, she put me. I didn't know she put me on on the program. So then she say, whoever, I don't remember who was am seeing the event that night, but they she say like this,
they say, and next up we got brother Lance. That's how it because I wasn't I wasn't like, I wasn't talking to you if I wasn't like the life of the party. I was really like quiet, real quiet, you know what I mean. So when they read they was everybody was like because they didn't even say what I was doing. It was just that I was coming to the stage. So I go up and all I remember is the first thing I said was you'all know how pastor be on Sunday? And then I just went into it.
And when I tell you, everybody in the church was like hollering, like my pastor was like on the floor with real tears coming out of like it was real tears, you know what I mean. Somebody jumped up, running and rant like it was a fire, Like it was insane. And that was the first time I had ever done anything like that on a stage. I wasn't thinking I was going to be a comedian at the time. Yeah, I just thought that was fun.
Now was that? Did that then? Lights some kind of spark an you right there?
It did, But I didn't know how to go from that to a comedian.
What did your mom say after that performance?
She was like, oh my god, that was so funny. She was like you was like, there's some wrong with you boy. She was just kind of like that. But I started comedy before Instagram. There was no Instagram. I don't remember if I think YouTube was out, but it wasn't like it is now.
Yeah.
My point of saying, this is the only and I didn't grow up in LA or New York. I grew up in Sacramento, So you didn't you only see comedians on TV. Like I think it's somebody's like they want to start comedy now, they'll go on Instagram and they got all of these examples of comedians or people who are doing humorous things. But like, oh, I can do that, But that's not how it was. This was when I
did that at the church. That was probably two thousand and six, maybe or something like that, two thousand and five. I started comedy in ten, twenty eleven, when I first started getting on stage, you know what I mean. So this was eight years earlier or something like that, six years or something like that. Yeah, I didn't know. I just knew that was real cool.
And did you start gravitating towards watching comedy tapes?
Though? I always did I start. I think I probably started watching more, but I always grew up watching comedy.
Okay, So take me to the first time where you start to pursue comedy.
Okay. So it goes back to the church. If so much of my story is rooted in the church, That's something I'm real grateful for. Because my church, my pastor would try to nurture gifts. If he's seeing you had a gift, he would try to create things or nurture it to to help get you to where you can get to. Oh, I do the thing at the church. So now going forward, every time there was an event at the church, they would just ask me to do something. Can you just host it? Like something?
Just so you went from the kid that they were like super quiet, So now this is the kid they want to mc.
That's worse than this. So I used to do the sound at the church. Wow, Like I used to because I always knew this was always knew I was supposed to be a star. I always knew I was supposed to be someone impactful, but I ran from it. I used to always try to be behind the scenes. So instead of doing I would say, I do the sound, I do the I'll do the I would hold the camera, but I got real bad vision. I got contacts in. But if I took my contacts out, yeah.
I'll be holding up three fingers that you say you ain't see nothing.
Yeah, if I was, you'd be my color. If I took my contacts out, it's bad. But I never wore glasses. I just used to thug it out. I didn't wear contacts back then either. I just used to just walk around blind. So I used to be doing the sound at the church, but I couldn't really see. So the pastor would be like telling me to turn stuff up, and I'm just looking and he's like, yeah, I'm like thumbs out. I am doing a good job. It was bad.
I hold I did somebody's wedding and I was holding the camera, but I was all over the place because it was bad. I was just trying to do all these things, just running from my gift right back to the church. So he would do these things like host this event. We're doing this, can you host it? So
then he created this first Friday's event. It was like a talent show, like people come through and I was hosting that and that was another time where I just got to just be on It was just me really being on stage in front of people, figuring that out, getting comfortable with that. So now fast forward, we're going into New Year's Eve, going into the year twenty ten. Now a lot of churches have services on New Year's Eve to go and you don't got to be out
there in the streets for New Years. You can come bring the new year in with the law. Yes, when I get your years started in the House of the Lord like that right. So then my pastor's son, Ishmael called me. He said, hey, can you do some comedy at the New Year's event?
And I was like, okay, how did it go?
It went great. But this was my first time ever writing jokes. Everything I did before that was me making fun of people at the church, are imitating people that This was the first time I wrote jokes that had nothing to do.
With the church, and it had to be PG too.
For sure. Yeah. Yeah, but my church wasn't PG. Never mind, that's another story. Listen, we're not gonna talk about that right now.
So you wrote these jokes and that they landed.
They landed very well. These jokes. I don't do them now, but I could if I think back to the jokes. I was always good writing, always understood jokes. I understood what a punch sign was supposed to be. I understood. I just I had a good understanding of jokes. That was the first time I wrote jokes that was just like this, I'm not gonna I don't want to. I don't want to tell jokes about sister, her or brother. I just want to write jokes. So that was that.
That went, well, that's November going, and how.
Old are you at that time?
Twenty twenty two, twenty three, okay, okay, twenty two. Yeah, so then that's going into the new year. Now, this was this is crazy. My church is directly across the street from a comedy club.
Oh, the signs are lining up for you very directly, like.
This, What is up with this?
Mic is not feeling you today? I don't know what is up with it?
Yeah, it happens But the same way with this is how close to like walk across the street and you're at the comedy club. But I never knew that because I never knew what a comedy club was.
So at some point you acknowledge this comedy club.
I acknowledged the comedy club.
Is this the first club you actually go into as ever? Stand up?
Ever?
And then how did you do over there? You want the full story, I want the story where you bombed.
That story didn't happen for a while. Wow. Yeah, the bomb story happened for sure, but it didn't happen at that point.
Now, so you do you start doing comedy in this club? Do you stay at this club for a long time before you sit in?
You know this the Sacramento punchline. So I go there because they have a showcase once a month, So June second, I go the week the month before May May fifth, It was the first Wednesday of every month. It was May fifth, but it was single to mile, so they moved it to May twelfth, which is my brother and my uncle's birthday. These dates are all significant to me. That's my first time I ever went to go watch live comedy. So I go to the punchline and I
go watch live comedy for the first time. I sit, I'm right in the middle, second row, and I'm just watching, and I'm like in awe, like watching everybody was amazing. I couldn't believe, like how they was able to do this. I know all these guys now and some of them weren't amazing, but to me at the time at the time.
Yeah, this is incredible, you.
Know what I mean. So I said, I'm gonna come back and do it next month. So now next month. Now we're at June second. So I pull up, I knock on the door. Doors open at seventh, show started and I get there six fifth, I knock on the door. Hey, I'm here. I'm here for the comedy show. She was like, okay, come back in ten minutes when we open. I said, okay, I'm wanting the comedian. And she said, okay, come back in ten minutes. Won't be open. I said, okay, cool,
I come back at seven o'clock. I'm here and she's okay. Let me. There's the manager and I say, hey, how you doing man, I'm here for the show tonight and he said at who are you? I said, ma'am I'm Lames Woods, and he was like, I don't know you, and I said, okay, well, how do I sign up for the show? He said, there ain't no sign up for the show. If I don't know you, I don't You're not That's not how it works. So then I was like, oh okay, and then I just left. So
I went back to my car. But then I'm like, I can't leave. I told all these people I was going to be at the show tonight and.
You was advertising the show that you weren't even on first.
I didn't know no better. I just I go on the website. They said it's a show, you got a showcase. I'm Okaylyn, what do you do?
You go back?
I go back because this is once again before instead before, like Facebook is a thing. But I've told everybody, yeah, listen to me, like yo, this is what we're doing this tonight. So I'm I can't leave. I don't got everybody's number. So I go back and I'm talking to him like, hey man, I talked I'm be on the show. Then I just need five minutes. And he was just like he would say real mean things walk away. You'd be like everybody say they funny to their bomb and
then what then he walk away. I'm just standing there. Damn what happens after the bomb? You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm processing all of this. So then twenty minutes go by thirty Now it was seven thirty, and I'm like, hey man, I just need five minutes of your time, bro. So we're standing by the bar. Now, this is what the entrance is. So he would come by the bar say something, walk away. So now let's say it's seven forty.
Show start at eight o'clock, seven thirty five. People keep coming into the show saying, A Lance can't wait to see you, and hey, do your think the night? Bro? A Lance? Hey do? Hey Bro, I'm proud of and he's this was a lesson I learned early about selling tickets. Yeah, I didn't know nothing about no guest, less than nothing. Everybody who can to send me bought a ticket. So by the time it's seven point fifty five, the club is packed and it's probably sixty people that came to
see me, which is sixty people. Sixty people. Yeah, oh yeah, it's a lot for you. He had. I didn't know no better, you know what I mean? This is my first introduction into show business. I didn't know. I had just sold a bunch of tickets and people came to see me, and your hands are tied at this point. So then at seven fifty five he said, okay, you got five minutes. You're going up first. Jesus, I said, okay, I didn't even know I was supposed to be nervous
to go first. Yeah, you know what I mean. I was so like angry because I had a bad temper. It's better now, but especially at that time, I was real like short. So I'm angry because how you talking to me? You know what I mean? And I didn't tell nobody who came to see me what was going on, because then it would have been a group problem. Yeah, I mean, so I'm trying to just be chill. And so then he come back to me eight o'clock he said, okay, you're going up third first, he said the first thing.
He said, you're going third. So then there's a host, two comics, and then me the comic that goes on before me. He was probably on stage for seven minutes. I don't think anybody smiled, not a smile. Yeah, And that made me more angry because it's do better, and I gotta fight for five minutes and he just get to go on with No, he ain't put on no fight, and you let this have it. So I go on stage.
It went really well. It went really well my first time, but like it was, the jokes I were telling were funny. I wasn't a great performance my first time at a comedy club, but I still remember the jokes I told. I remember like they were quality jokes for my first time. And then from then do you just start to meet the comics and go places and figure out stuff and oh, this guy has a room over here, and this guy has a room over here. Now if you want to hear the bomb, go ahead.
No, I don't want to hear the bomb. So you so after that club, you do well? Do you start to now understand the process of going after a certain title in the club and pitching yourself.
No, I still don't see this is what I thought. I thought it went well, and I was like, so, am I supposed to wait for HBO to call? Or do I need to send them the tape from tonight because clearly they need to know who I am. Did y'all see what I just did? Yeah, that's how I'm thinking. I didn't know how none of this stuff works. Yeah, so I'm like, oh not Yeah, Chris Rocket is funny, but I was funny too, So clearly we should be working together. That's how they're supposed to work. What are
we talking about? So I was just I didn't know. I didn't know, Like I ain't know. I was at that point, I'm real like just inquisitive, like I'm trying to figure out what am I supposed to be doing because I don't know nothing?
So who are you going to find out? What's your next play?
The comics I met that night. I remember one comics is friend of mine still, his name is Miles Weber. I was like, yo, how do you make money doing this? And he was like, hell if I know?
Like that was like, how long do you think? How long was your struggle for at least not making money?
Not making money? My first time on stage that was June second. The next year, November second was my last day work on a day job.
Oh so within a year you were able to fully support yourself off comedy.
I was able to figure it out. I wouldn't say fully, no, yeah, yes, fully supported myself. I had to change some things. I had to learn how to manage my money different. Yeah, I had to learn what not to do. Okay, maybe I don't need that. Do I really need cable? I don't think.
So I really started living on a budget.
Started living on a budget, you know what I mean, start dating lesser women. But you just have to change it. You gotta change some things up. I mean, look, so you're not in a budget.
That's hilarious. Did you start dating women that had more money too?
Absolutely?
Yeah?
Absolutely?
Did you really?
Absolutely?
Okay?
Yeah?
Did that help you at some point in your journey?
Yeah, but not like that. It was what really helped was I learned how much stuff I don't need. Yeah, Like I just learned. Like what I realized is the thing that we get caught up in is we when we make money, everything we call everything we get cost like constant money. So it's like I haven't had a card since my first car. I've never had another car.
Really no, I'm like very highly, I'm a car no queen. Yeah, and every time I'm about to tire, I'm like, nope, put me in.
Yeah another one. Yeah, But that's how the cycle work. So I'm like people pay bills on iPhones like they want the new phone. So then they add yeah, yeah, and it's know. If I'm going to get the new phone, just go buy it. If I can't afford it, then I don't have it.
Smart you live within your means, which is a good, very good thing. I can't imagine Sacramento and correct me if I'm wrong. You get to go up that many nights or the times in one night?
Why not? All right, So I'll tell you this story. I'm trying to find comedy clubs and things now at this point in my head, you can never tell the same joke twice. This is what I believe. So I thought, once you told that joke, you got to tell new jokes. So every time.
I'm running at a different speed.
I didn't know. And at that point I was just so excited. Everything I thought was fun I wrote everything I thought was funny. If I just wrote it all down, I'm just gonna try it on stage.
But how many clubs are you averaging a night in Sacramento?
So that that's what I was gonna tell you, But I'll speed through it. When I was really getting good, I was on stage at a minimum twelve times.
A week, twelve times a week. Yeah, in Sacramento they have that many clubs you can get up that. How what's the distance between the clubs though, all within already thirty miles that's pretty so like almost thirty minutes apart or within. Yeah, so what because I'm saying this because if you're a comic in New York, you can get reps up that right, most of your comedy. The more reps you do, the better you get, right, even though
you're writing new material on the regular. Clearly, I'm just trying to figure out for you to at least maintain yourself how much repping you're doing to get to the point where you're semi sustainable within a year.
So that's what it was. It was. There was three comedy clubs, like Major Club. You had the Punchline, You had Tommy T's, and then you had Laps Unlimited. Tommy T's has since shut the one that Sacramento has, but Punchline and Laps Unlimited are still there. So those were the three clubs. Then you had there's a spot called the Touch of Class, like a black Spy. It's like it's like a nationally known amongst comics. This was like a spywork. Every black comic had came through at some point.
And I don't know if you ever seen Kevin Hart Heart of the City. He shot at a Touch of Class. The first episode ever was shot in Sacramento. Touch a Class. So that was on Sundays. But then there was another spot called on the Y, a little bar they did comedy. You did that, so I would go to And then
there was a spot called the Comedy Spot. They did mostly improv, but they did stand up too, so I would go, Okay, on Sunday, I could hit the comedy spot, I could hit on the Y, and I hit the Touch of Class.
Got it?
So that's three on Sunday.
So how long did you work a Sacramento for a year or did you When did you start to say I'm going to move out of the Sacramento zone.
To start you mean to start to travel outside of Sack to the shows.
Do you still live in Sacramento? You live in La.
I live in l A. Yeah, okay, but I just moved to l A.
Like how long ago? Oh okay, so you're new here? Yeah, okay, okay.
But I've been coming to La so long.
Yeah, it was like, what I'm trying. What I'm trying to get a lay of the land, because got twenty more minutes. Is I want to see, like how long it took for you to get that consistency and what markets did you have to work to get that consistency up?
When I the first thing, there's a guy, one of the first not one of the first guys whoever took me on the road, named Daniel Dugar. I bury you and he was like, Yo, you gotta go to grow, You got to go to grow. So then he had gave me his number one time. And I'm not the best at calling people. I had somebody's number and I just want to use I'll be trying to get better at that. So I remember I called him one day and I was like, Yo, what should I be doing there?
How can I do this? And then he's big on like wardrobe. He's like a real sharp he always with his suits. He was like, man, your wardrobe is important. He talk. So then me and him we just went shopping. He's just like, yo, let's just go shopping, bro. Just so I started wearing suits and all that. That wasn't really my thing, but it was just something. But he was like, Yo, why don't you start. You can come. I got these shows. You can come on the road.
There's these things called triple runs that's on the West coast, and it'll be like I'm talking about all of these small little Montana, Idaho, Oregon, Washington state, and you get in a car and just drive to all of these spots. But just like this show might pay three hundred, this one might pay one fifty, this one might pay five. And then so you do that for a week and you might come home with a thousand dollars. If you got some merchandise, you might come home with two thousand,
fifteen hundred, whatever the case is. Right, So that I started to do that, Okay, I would just get in the car and just drive, okay, and just go pick up nine hund here, three hundred here, one point fifty here, sometimes get a room time, sleep in the car. Just really. But I was having the most fun because I was doing I wanted to do. So if I got a drive thirteen dollars, I don't mind, because I'm finna go see the most beautiful woman in the world. You know what I mean. Comedy?
Oh okay, wait, what so you're doing all of this and maintaining a budget. What are you doing with your daytime though there's no hustling during the day, You're just like living life and writing comics.
Yeah, it was just I was doing regular stuff, went to the gym playing basketball.
Where does that acting enter?
So I started acting once again. I'm at a show. We're doing. My man Greg Vaughn had a a compedy do, a golf tournament and a comedy show before the day before. So we're doing the comedy show. It's me, Tony Roberts, Chris Spencer, alex Tommy, Buddy Lewis, Flex Alexander. Yeah, that's the show. This is in Sacramento two. So we do that show and after the show, this guy comes to talk to me. He says, hey, man, you're really funny. My friend is a movie director and I just want
you to meet him. Okay, So he says to me, he's just I just think you should meet him. I said, okay. He said, He said, yeah, are you gonna be at the golf tournament tomorrow. I said, yeah, I'll be there. He said, he's gonna be there. I'll make sure that you guys meet the golf tournament. I said, okay. Cool. So then the next day golf tournament. This guy's name is Nick Leasure, film director. So I meet Nick and
he was just like, yeah, Brian, here just here. You're really funny bro, And yeah, bro, we should just let's figure out we can work together. I want to see you perform. When do you perform it. I just happen to have a show that night at the Tommy t that is no longer open. I was like, I'll be at Tommy T's tonight. He was like, I'm coming through. So he come to Tommy T's. He's bro. That was great, bro. I just yeah, we gotta figure something out. The next
within the week he called. He sent me like a script and he was like, I want you to read for this part right here, or read this part and then just send me like a video of you.
Yeah.
So then I'm like all right, cool. So then I send it to him and then he's yeah, come out. I want you to come out of the office. Come out. Office is yeah, bro, we start filming. We start filming in two muths or in a mother or somebody else.
Before he gave you the role, did you ever entertain the idea of acting for sure.
I never entertained the idea, but I've never done any of the steps that would show that.
And you didn't go to acting school.
I did none of those things. I did none of those things. But it was like, that's how it came to me. And this was like this movie was like Starr, Mario, ven People's and Glenn Plumbers and it was like, I'm with seasoned actors.
Now did you like the whole experience?
Absolutely? Acting. Acting is a it's a different sport. It's like a totally different sport. But I love acting because you get to be someone that's not yourself, you know what I mean. You get to disappear into something else. It's a different it's a different muscle, Like you challenge yourself differently, you know what I mean. You read the part and you got to say, Okay, what would the character do? Not? What would I do? What would I how would he say this? Yeah? Yeah, you know what I mean.
Now, now that you've experienced both sports, which one do you like more?
Still?
Comedy?
Comedy? Yeah, I got you got more control over the comedy. This is I love acting, though I'm getting more into the acting space now because I'm first off I'm a comic first, I'm a comedian.
So everything you're very funny, by the way, extremely funny.
I appreciate you, thank you. But everything I do to bring you to my comedy, you know what I mean? So I can go do one hundred movies. My goal, one of my main goals is for you to now come see me do comedy. Right. So it's like Denzel just said, he just said, a theater is an actors medium. Film is a director's medium. The stage is a comedians medium. You know what I'm saying. So no matter what I do in front of the camera, they might take it and edit it different and that's not what I did.
But that's what they're supposed to do. This is their thing. But the stage is my thing. This is how This is the purest of my thoughts and how I can break it down. This is without the edit, without the cut. This is how I feel. I said it, you know what I mean. So, yeah, comedy, comedy always be first. You never say always, but I feel comfortable saying what.
Would you say is the downside of being in this industry? You've been in it for over twenty years, i'd imagine, or almost twenty almost thirteen thirteen, yeah, thirteen.
Fourteen, my bad, fourteen fourteen years.
Yeah, what would you say is the downside of it? If you could say there.
Yeah, like to say a downside, I'll say it affects relationships for sure.
But give me like a romantic relationship all of them?
But yeah, for sure, all of them, all of them.
Why do you say all of them.
You missed so much?
Do you have children?
No, I'll be pulling out, but saying why I pulled this out to toast. You got to you got to get in the pot of there and.
Now, okay, he's got a strong pull out game.
You want to eat this sentiment, you got to pull it out, you know what I mean?
Always wrap it up to guys, Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If you wrap it up. Do you really believe that?
So it'd be affecting all relationships as a family members because you said all relationships or relationships.
Just I can't. I missed all the birthday parties. They do it on the weekend on the road, you know what I mean. So it's but I think even that can change later. It is because I've been on the road consistently now six years.
Was mastering online social media tough for you.
Yeah, I don't think I've mastered it.
But but you're Your following is pretty good though, So it looks like you're starting to get a hang of the algorithms.
The following is growing up. I understand how to be funny on the internet, which is different.
It's a different type of comedy.
Stage, which is different than being funny here. Everything is a different kind of thing to be funny. But I will say online, I think I need to grow my YouTube page. I need to get some long form content. Damn. And I got probably got like eight thousand YouTube subscribers. That's still pretty good without ever trying. Yeah, I've never tried to build a page.
Why do you feel it's important to build a YouTube page though?
Because I feel like everybody in the world uses YouTube?
Do you think that?
And then from the babies to the eldest, does.
The social media play a role into how much you get paid?
Now? Absolutely, that's it's the new television. It's like the last star that was comedian who was like from a movie, do you know what I mean?
Yeah, that's a good point. What do you think of these like comics like Matt Rife, that's.
My friend that's my guy. I love that guy. Yeah.
It at that, then I'm not gonna say nothing past it.
Matt, MAT's hilarious.
I think you think he's funny.
Man's hilarious. This is what I believe. I believe that the way people discover you sometimes is how they're always gonna hold you. Matt's been doing comedy for years. Yeah. I think Matt was starting fourteen years old. He wasn't doing quote unquote crowd work. He was doing the setup, primise punts, and he was doing the jokes. He got famous from the crowd work.
Yeah. So then I heard about that.
Yeah. So then if that's how you've seen him, you're like, oh, he's just the crowworker.
Didn't you do it? Didn't he release a special just on CrowdWork too? At some point he did.
He's release two or three of them like that. Yeah, he has one on Netflix that's crowd work.
Yeah. Yeah, I think I've seen that.
Yeah. But it's it's like the ability to create and find your way. This is the hardest thing to do, the hardest thing to do is sell tickets.
Yeah, how would you describe your comedy though? For people that don't know, I've seen him, you was, Yeah, Yeah, that's that's why I wanted on the show.
Yeah, I think my comedy is brilliant.
It for people that don't know who Lance was is. How would you describe your type of comedy is.
It's it is high energy, intellectual warfare.
I like that.
That's how I view it. I'm trying to merge the worlds of Tony Roberts and Dave Chappelle and find that somewhere in the middle where you have this high energy, can say any silly thing and also has some introspective, thought provoking Damn, I ain't think about it like that and try to mix all of that together. It's how I view it. Yeah, I think I'm I think I'm really entertaining because like I watch comedy and I can break down. I understand comedy, so I can tell you, oh,
that's that. And there's some college that are really good and they're boring. Yeah, and like I'll be watching myself and I say, I just don't want to be boring.
I think that there's I think my rule with comedy is that people I never say a comic is terrible. I think that people laugh at what they can relate to. I think that most people laugh at well, and there are people that are just genuinely funny, but most people laugh at what they can relate to. Yes, that's what I've noticed.
Yes, and a great comic will make you laugh at things you can't relate to it all.
Yeah, it's they can get you to laugh. But I noticed that I tend if I look at the comics that I'm like totally like, I'm a fan of this particular comic, this particular comic. It's comic that's somewhat there's some kind of familial familiar.
Cularity to get the words where I go ahead.
But but I say that to say that because I think there are comics that are genuinely funny, but to say, okay, that comic needs to be a staple in my like yeah, I want to continue. Yeah, I think there's got to be a little bit more of a relationship with the I can relate to the Bilberd's continual anger. I make jokes around here all the time, like yo, I totally relate to this guy and holding it in and then
you just randomly explode. I'm like, yo, I got you stop? Yeah, or Sebastian, I keep foret I love it, but all the toxic like anything toxic, sign me up like on that, like Little Drain, I'm like, yo, I message you. But I do still can appreciate all different types of comedy. But I think even when I talk to other people, it's like some people may like say Matt and be like he's amazing, and it's okay. You probably find it more relatable then yeah.
Yeah. I think what's happened in entertainment is people like the person more than the product, so they want to relate to the person. Yeah, And it's once I'm locked in with the person, whatever the product, I must support it because I like the person. It's especially with the social media age, it's like people are literally just falling in love with the personality and don't even know what you do. They don't know what you're a comedian, singer, dance. They just know that they like you.
Yeah, or they want to be I think with social media, I think people tend to follow people they either want to be like or don't. I still haven't grasped the whole social media idolization because to me, it's like a platform where you present whatever you want to present. It's like a mirror. It's like a weird picture show. I don't think there's a lot of authenticity there, but that's where comedy is great, because there's a lot of authenticity.
For any fans that or comics that are trying to look up to you, is that you have a phone on.
It's vibrating, it's down there.
Oh my goodness. Before we close out, I would like to see if you could give any advice to any comics, young comics trying to be a comedian in the space of the common business.
I think you call it. Yeah, mom, no, just take the plan B pill. Don't worry about it. Okay, all right, m my mom be tripping.
Bro, this is I was like, literally, is he really taking this phone call right now? But I have a plan B. I think that's hilarious.
I'm sorry my mom? Is she wild?
Your mom? Is that where you got it? That's Lance Woods for you guys right there?
Come on, mama, we got.
Lance. How how can people keep up with you and find out how to catch tickets to your show?
I'm sorry, So you asked me two questions.
I did your mom's plan B?
Yeah? Okay, So I'm gonna give the first if you want to follow me. It's sir Lance Woods, s I R L A N C E W O O D S. That's Instagram, YouTube, TikTok x Twitter. What what's the other ones that TikTok TikTok?
And by the way, guys, make sure you go and follow his YouTube. Okay, he's trying to grow it ground.
Grow my YouTube Instagram, Sir Lance Woods, please do that. It would be really beneficial. All my tour stuff and all the ticket stuff is in the link in the bio. All of that cool.
Even after we wrap, he's getting on the road too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm so happy you have me here. I really appreciate you letting me come here and cook this delicacy.
And I could tell it meant a lot to you. It did. What advice would you give to someone, though, for.
Real, if I gave a comedian advice. Advice is hard for me because it's too general. But what I will say is, when you starting off, do the things that you think are funny and not what you think other people will think is funny. That's one of the main things comic struggle with is day they try to do
what they think people will find funny. Versus what you just find funny, because the same way you said Bill Burr and the Anger, if you was like, people aren't as angry as me, then you wouldn't even be able to be yourself because that's how your people find is by you being you. You know what I mean? If you go try to they already got a version of that. Just be But I also think comedy good. If you a good comic, it'll teach you how to be yourself. A lot of people don't know they.
I think the comics are more funny when they're one hundred percent yeah themselves, like unexcusably is that the right word, unapologetic, unapologetically themselves, like.
For sure, they are, for sure, But you gotta.
Even the ones you can't relate to are more funny when you're like, oh my gosh, you can't believe this comic thinks this way or what's funny?
Right? I give everybody comic leeway for lack of a better time. There's comics that say things that I one hundred percent disagree with, but as a comic, he or she has that right to express that. My only, it's my only. It's a small request I'd be having just make it funny. There's a lot of stuff going on right now where it's just just for the shock or just its just make it funny what you talk about. Just make it funny. Yeah, that's it.
That's it.
That's it.
Thank you for taking time out of your schedule to come see us. I know you went through a lot today and you didn't quite on us, So I appreciate it.
I know that if y'all got an EBT card.
I think I messed up on the bread though. I think I did this brio bread and I was trying to was way too fancy. Bread was fancy.
Bed was way too fancuse.
I feel like the bread messed up your dish low key. Like I if I wasn't eating tacos before this.
It didn't mess it up.
It just it was too thick, you know what I'm saying. I feel like the cheaper bread would have worked better. I was trying to be fancy for you, Lance. I was excited about you.
I appreciate it, you know what I mean. I'm excited about being here. It was good, Yes, it was good. Gods like I said it was. It was like two pieces of bread back and maybe four switched together back in the day, but it was still good and it brought back memories. That's what it's about. Reminiscent your childhood, where'd you come from? Forget you, what did you when you broke? That's who you are?
And remember Lance here didn't have his parents, didn't have a real question. He's out by Thanks for tuning in. For more Eating while Broke from iHeartRadio and The Black Effect, Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.