Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Eating While Broke. I'm your host, Colleen Witt, and today we have very special guests having a Malone, executive producer, actress, and three times best selling author is in the building. Yes, thank you, thank you for coming through. I really appreciate it and excited to have you. But before we get into your journey of h before success, what will you have me eating today?
We're going to be tasting some spicy, cheesy grits. It would have been shrimp and grits, but you know, no shrimp.
No shrimp who was used budget friendly and then with the cash us.
Yes, so we need a little protein and we don't have no shrimp, so we go.
Cas you put the cashews in the grits.
We do, put the cashewes inside the grits.
Oh for real, I didn't know. When I saw you said cashews for protein, you know, grits and jalapenos, I was like, this is definitely affordable. This whole meal can break out to like twenty meals, and I think the total was like seven bucks with inflation. Yeah, well I would say more than twenty meals. I'm just gonna say that right now. They gave me the only cheesy grits came in like a bulk size from Walmart, so definitely affordable.
But I was thrown off by the cashoes. I didn't know how this whole thing was going to play out. But go ahead, you could start whipping up.
That dish and don't make sure this water is nice and hot and boiling.
Definitely want to start with.
This and grits because well, first of all, I'm.
From New Orleans, so we already have like comfort food, and then it's something that will really stick with you. So you eat grits and then you're gonna be full for a.
Lot of time. Yeah, that's how I feel about my low key morning hack. Now is I wake up, when I prepare my daughter's lunch and everything, I will make myself an egg and cheese sandwich and just two eggs toasts. And then sometimes I'll instead of putting like just butter on it, I'll use hummus for extra prosin. It sounds crazy, but I do put hummus, like especially a spicy hummus on it, or I'll do avocado. And I promise you that egg sandwich will hold me till like three o'clock
from seven in the morning. I'm like, yo, that is the ultimate hack. And I don't know if it's just all the protein in it, but it definitely holds me up.
With that egg, the yolk of that egg is really filling.
And then the bread, Yeah, like that bread is going like stick to sticky.
Aside, But if you guys have never done the egg hummus breakfast sandwich, I promise you it is really good. Do you eat hummus?
I do eat hummus.
Have you ever thought about putting that concoction together?
Mm? Hmmm.
I promise you it is good. But take me back to what was going on during the time of the grits cast used in Jilapino era.
Yeah, the bank account was very slim, extremely slim. I had experienced a layoff from a job that I had for over a decade, and even though yes, they had given us a you know, a severance package you know from after leaving, but instead of me going straight into another you know job, I decided to figure out my life and figure out what I wanted for my life. And that brought me into a deep dive into like personal development.
Pause. I don't think there's enough water to cook on.
I know, I don't think so either. I think.
You have to cook all some of that is just for uh, for just so people don't not at she was about to cook like four six packs old. It would have been the dry spirts of all time. No, we bushed it out just for two looking like, yeah, we would have set you up to fail. All right, go on, go back to your story. Sorry about that. Hilarious.
So I was in the midst of, you know, trying to figure out what my next steps were, you know, within my life.
And how old were you at this time? I was hard to be twenty, like late twenties.
Yeah, late twenties.
Okay, So you go back to square one, and what job was this at the time?
This was I was working in corporate America. I was working for Hewlett Packard, so I had I was the district sales manager for them. I was running one hundred and sixty million dollar technology business for them.
Wow.
And then I was also their spokesperson on like the Home Shopping Network and QBC, like selling their products on air. And it was the economy took a really big downturn, and so their business started of course going down, and they decided because they were contemplating breaking off the computing and printing sides of the business, and then instead they were just like, we'll just eliminate complete organizations to be able to save money.
Wow.
But here's the thing.
It was a blessing in disguise because I used to wake up every day depressed, and not because it wasn't a good job, not because I wasn't paid well, not because I didn't work with great people, but because I was at a place in my life that it was time to move on and to really.
Discover who I was.
And I would move on because I was afraid of what was on the other side, and everybody in my family, my life was like, you better not lead a good job.
You've been not you know.
But I'm just like, okay, well, let me just get up out of bed, put the smile on, and keep doing the thing. And God, the universe, whatever you want to call it, was like, no, boo, I need you to move on because I have more for you. But you can't stay here in this space, in this spot.
So cool you don't.
Do it, I'll get you there, right, I'll do it for you.
And that came in the form of a layoff, and it was like a part of me, of course, was like WHOA. Okay, well now what does this mean? Because my identity was tied to that position. My identity was tied to this title, and it was like who am I without this? And it literally I think we is this nice and cooked? Now We're gonna let it just sit for a second, off this heat. But really just
trying to figure out who I was. And in that time of trying to figure that out, I didn't I got an opportunity to go and work for another in another division within the company. But I was like, I can keep doing what I know how to do. That's easy for me, but it's literally killing me, or I can figure out who I am and what.
I really want?
So what was your next play?
So my next play I got reached out to by a friend who he only reaches out probably like once or twice a year, just like check in.
I love friends like that. By the way, Oh it's such a such I ain't heart room and a while and then and they were like priority calls to when you do get those once in a BlueMoon calls, You're like, I got to call him back.
And so he reaches out and that in that call, he was just like, yo, it's just checking on you, you know, how things going.
And this is what had just happened.
And so like I shared with him with the situation was, and he was just like, you know, oh, I'm gonna keep you in my prayers, you know, definitely, you know, keeping you uplifted.
Like everything's gonna work out. He was very you know, like just encouraging.
And two days later, it was about like two days later, he reaches back out to me and he was like, I have a friend who I'm gonna have reach out to you who may potentially have an opportunity for you. And so I was like, okay, look, thank you. You know, like I appreciate it. The friend reaches out and the opportunity was to work as a community outreach director at a funeral home.
Oh wow, right, but that's why you started with a laugh? Did you end up taking the job?
Girl?
I was like, I really appreciate you, you know, reaching out and offering this opportunity to me. However, you know, this doesn't really align, you know, with her. He was like I get it. He was like, your background and what you do like this this really isn't you know what you do? But we would love to have you, and like, there's there could be something here while you're
figuring it out. Why are you figuring it out? And it was local to you too, and it was local okay, And I was just like no, but he kept pressing. He literally kept pressing, and so I was just kind of like, he said, look, just come meet with me, Just come sit down and have a conversation, even if you decide you don't want to do this thing. And I'm like, sir, you just at a funeral home. Like literally, now, the.
Thing about it, it's got to be hard to like get employees from funeral homes. Son, I was like, wait, how did I come from me? And it was pay a lot or was it a little? No, it's like commission based. Oh oh yeah, yeah, he would have lost me, So go on. So you it sounds like you took the job.
So I go to this meeting and in this meeting, I meet a mirror of myself and his assistant director who she was an older version of what I would envision myself to be when I got older. And so it was because of her and wanting to be in proximity to this woman that I took the job. Now I was only there for two months and I was like, child, this is not for me. But it brought me to a resource that was so necessary for my journey, for somebody who opened up a space form my.
Knowing of what was possible for my life. Both. So when you see this woman, yes, you're you, you admire it's a sense of admiring.
It wasn't just a sense of my admiration. It was a sense of like soul connection. Really, it was a.
Sense she was just in the room or she was actually with you guys interviewing.
Yeah, she was in the room, like so she so he was the director of the facility.
She was the assistant director.
So she was there to like be a part of the interview and and in meeting her.
Like her power, her presence, and she was the assistant director. Yes, okay, okay, hmm okay, No, she should have been the director. I just want to get the whole picture, okay. So it was the assistant director that caught your attention, okay. And the way she held her power, oh it was palpable. You could feel it. But she also young too, she was older she was older.
Yeah, okay, probably at that time, maybe in her sixties or so, but of course, you know, black don't crack.
So she was yeah, now before we break the story. Okay, so we have the yellow, we have these cheesy grits. I've never even seen grits this color. What are we doing next? So I haven't had to cook all four pegs, right, it's gonna be good. So now we're going to take our cashoes again. This is our substance, and and it's almost in the shape of a shrimp too. I was like, why didn't she put honey cashoes? I wanted to throw it in there, and I said, don't, don't mess with it.
It's interesting to like make the sweet and savory. You know where the cashoes were flown. And I've seen so many dishes where I've been completely confused with how people were making them. I just followed the instruction cashoes. She didn't say honey.
It wasn't and it's usually just like raw, so like not even like sold it or anything, just like raw cashoes. We're gonna just take a little, you know, tablespoon of cashoes.
You know, we got to make this last. So you're gonna take the table.
Cashoes aren't cheap either. Yeah, this eating one bro, come on now, Okay, so we got.
Cashoes, We have the cashoes, and now we add the Coudi gras thelopenos. Okay, so lapenos for that. Again, I'm from New Orleans, so we're all about spice. We're all about like this, that little kick, that little pop, and this definitely does it. So to be able to add our jilapenos right there on top, I mean you.
Had a lot. You don't have to do a lot. Okay, some of the pano juice in here. I just put a little splash of this and you know me, you know that? Yeah, that one halo peno. That's it as far as I'm going. But it also it's visually appealing. I mean, you have the color of this, you have the texture, the dimension of it. So it's like it makes you feel like you at a fancy restaurant and child you are not. Yeah, I don't know this this boone right here and here I'm gonna trying to get it, okay,
So yeah, so you can mix it all in. I'm gonna try it.
Here we go, yes, okay, but the first bite.
I actually like the cashow in it, I mean not the cashew.
M mans bring me back.
Yes, Now, guys, don't judge me eating this in today as this is the go to eating while broke dish. But I will say adding jalopinos to grits is definitely I can actually, you know what, even the cashoes. But I could be hungry, so this I'm starving, guying hungry. Help. But I do like the cashew bite with I mean the kilopino bite with the rest.
Yes, it's like that those flavors combining, the texture is combining. It just makes you feel so like satiated and like you're having.
An experience with it.
And I think because you're bringing in so many of your senses in this in that one bite, it's just like, Okay, yeah, time may be hard, but you know what, this is good.
I think it actually all does work. What I don't know if it's because I'm hungry.
It's not just because you're hungry.
But I think that the cashew flavor in the jalopeno flavor almost drown out the cheesy grits flavor altogether, though you almost barely taste it. But like something about the texture of the kilopino and that is is amazing, Like, honestly, this is definitely a good broke dish.
Yeah.
I would definitely probably be working at the studio one day and definitely say, you know what, we got grits and I love it? Mmmm m all right, guys. I finished the cheesy grits with jalapeno and cashoes and I had Katie, our producer called gut to try it to make sure I wasn't insane. But by far, I think everyone should try cheesy grits with jalapenos and cas shoes. It is definitely a cocktail that you would not expect.
And even Katie and like her take a bite of it, and she was even like shocked at how good it was. I was definitely judging this dish, but this may be the new eat. I didn't want to put a kolopeno in it, but that is amazing. I really want seconds. So when we when we wrap, you're gonna I'm gonna make another one. But take me back to this story. It's so delicious, isn't that crazy? Girl? Would you do this? Now that you know? Would you ever do this? Now? I'm gonna make some more. I'm so glad we got
the value box. This is a good combo. They need to do a cheesy grists of Jolopeno and cashoes bro. That is delicious.
You know what I think this brand that you've gotten, I think they do have a Valopeno cheddar. Oh they do, but again I think it's better with the fresh in there. Yeah, because it's the texture and the crunch that you get.
Yeah. Remember I tried to do the juice and then I tried it with the bite of the kilapeno. This is by far one of definitely gonna be one of my favorites. I definitely think I will do this again. We will wrap and then we will make some more.
Yeah.
But okay, so you are definitely into one of the top dishes for the season. That's great, great, and I've been very reluctant to give that title, but it is a really good dish, So okay, I receive it. So now we got to find out from being a funeral girl the sales rep funeral home sales rep, Community outreach directed commission based only job. Okay, so you work this gig, then what happened?
I was there for like two months and was like no, but it was that relationship that was critical and helped to start opening new pathways for me. Knew way because like she was into reading thinking grow rich, like I was into reading thinking gro rich. She was into and open to going to personal development events, which I hadn't gotten to that stage of my life yet where I was like reading materials but not taking the action to
like move to the next step. And I remember we talked about we should actually go, like we should actually go to an event. And so she was very much into like healthy eating and stuff like that, and she suggested a David Wolf event and I was like, oh, that would be good. I said, but what about Tony Robbins.
I was gonna say I was. I was thinking of him when you said that.
Yeah, And I had literally watched so Oprah had a special where her and her producer went to a Tony Robbins upw which is Unleashed the Power Within, They walked on Fire, they had all these breakthroughs, and watching that show, I was like, one day I'm going to that event, Like one day I'm gonna do it. And so I brought that up as a suggestion and so she was like, yeah, She's like, find out what the next one is like, let's do it.
Cool.
I go online, I look it up. It was coming up. I think it was like October of that year, and then it was in Florida. So we get the tickets. We go, I walked on fire?
You did?
Yes?
Okay. By the way, I've also like, I've always been curious about the Tony Robbins. But those tickets aren't cheap either. No, I've thought about doing it, and I'll be like, nah, I can't. I can't justify it, but but I do. This guy has amassed such a huge following, obviously as in a safe changing experience. So you walk on fire, I walked on fire. Any blister is just curious. None, no burns, none, no one.
Okay.
And that's the thing when you start to realize how powerful you really are. That the condition thing of our mind because we do it on the first day, Like you walk on fire, yeah, I would be like, oh hell yeah, so like literally that entire first day. Let you say you walk, you run? No, you walk at a steady pace.
At a steady pace. Oh, because I'm sure afraid.
It was me. I would Okay, quick mantra that they have you say and you're also being programmed with that mantra all throughout the day, like you were literally conditioning your mind to be able to have control of your body and your experience in that moment throughout that entire day, so that by the time you do it, the result is like, well.
Most mantra that can make you walk on fire cool moss, cool moss.
So when you think about fire, you think hot, so in your mind you automatically go to burning.
Yeah, yeah, bliss like all that stuff.
So your mind is telling your body, Oh, that's what's supposed to happen. Oh, that's how we're supposed to react to that thing. So you say cool moss, your body says it's cool. But at the end, you walk on this fire and you don't see blisters, none, no burns, not even a little bit of scores.
I don't not because that's the case we all need to go. So wait, you walk on it, and your brain can tell you this, but your physical body doesn't experience burns and you're walking at a slow pace. Yes, this flame is this fire or hot coals.
So it's coals that are on like literally burning coals that you were walking across.
Okay, all right, continue with this story. Yes, and cool Moss, I'm coming. I'm gonna test it at home. I'm gonna tell my stove, cool moss, Cool Moss. I'm gonna send you a picture of my burnt finger. You're like, oh, you didn't practice the whole day. Okay, So you didn't. You didn't end up with no burns. Okay, okay, okay, you you got me sold. Okay.
So and that was the thing because then it sold me of what I was capable of, because I went into it first as well, being like like it looked cool on TV, but I don't know about this. Yeah, And I was like, and I can always just like opt out, Like at the last minute, I could just be like, nah, you know.
Let me see three hundred more people end up with no burns and let me melt some marshmallows over it to see how how it really is, Like you know what I'm saying. I'm one of know it was like three hundred people and melted marshmallows. Then maybe I'll do it, right, I'll try it. Let's see him do it ten times? Tony, did you do it ten times? Okay? All right? So go on.
Sorry, No, and the thing is like you were being primed, reconditioned the entire day for to build up to this moment. Because once you do this on day one, and that breaks open for you, where else am I capable of? What else can I actually do that I thought was impossible because I thought that was impossible. Yeah, I just proved it was possible. Yeah, So now what else can I do for myself?
Exactly?
And so that being a part of that community, coming to those understandings and what Tony does, like what he does very well.
He takes tools and he makes him his own.
But one of his primary tools that he uses to teach and to transform people. While he's never lost to suicide, you know the person who's attempted suicide, he's NLP, which is neural linguistic programming, and it is a process of being able to literally rewire your neural network so that like you don't have to think about breathing, it just
happens automatically. You don't have to think about when you get close to your home, probably just go on autopilot because you know the path to get home, that's a neural pathway that has been ingrained or grooves in your brain and we have that is in terms of our belief system about things as well. And this helps you to literally rewire that. So I believed I wasn't good enough.
I believed I wasn't smart enough. I believed, you know, I wasn't worthy of this level of living, and so everything I did was in alignment with that, because that's what I believe. That's where my neural pathway was. But now I can rewire it. Yeah I am worthy. Yeah I can have that. Yeah I'm supposed to have that, and then it rewires to that, and then your life's condition starts to unveil that new reality. And so that opened this space for me, and so I went into
a deep dive into personal development. But here's the thing. Once you start going in and pulling through these layers, all the dark stuff starts to come up too, Like all the stuff to be dealt with has to be dealt with. And so my traumas of being sexually molested when I was, you know, in my youth, and having literally lock that into myself where I was gonna take that to my grave, I would have never told anybody, never addressed it with my family.
It was my brother, so like, yeah, that was like a Noah, and who's gonna believe me anyway? And oh you had that feeling too, Oh my god.
Yes, indeed I believed that I say something and then they're gonna be like, no, it didn't like what are you talking about. I had a belief system that my because I was close to my dad and my mom was like really close to my brother, and I felt like she loved.
Him more even though it wasn't true.
But like I just like felt that because they're because of their closeness, and so I'm like, well, even if they do believe me, she'll still side with him because like that's her favorite.
Or if it's cause a family split, right right? Or am I going to break the family again?
You know?
And how young are you when you're thinking all these thoughts? Well, I guess all the way to Oh my god, like my entire life, like from the time that it happened.
Like all my entire life, Like it was just kind of like I just lock that away within myself because it was just like, no, like I'll just carry this and through doing the work of like healing. It was like, no, I have this this frog stuck in my throat of this thing that I'm supposed to release that is literally holding me back from being who I'm supposed to be and from speaking my truth in the world. Because I'm like, if there's a saying this is how you do anything, it's how you do everything.
So if I'm holding back.
Man, that was deep how you do anything, it's how you do everything. So I'm over here with words ever spoken. I'm starting to learn that I'm not forty though, but yeah, yeah.
And so I was like, I'm holding back over in this area of my life and suppressing my truth. Guess what, I'm also holding back and playing small in my career. I'm also holding back and playing small in my relationships. I'm also holding back and playing small and all these other things because how you do anything is how you do everything.
Okay, lesson number one? Okay, I have a lat okay, drop that gem Okay okay. And So in this process of starting.
To get into these deep, dark layers of myself and start to feel the the permission to speak my truth, to heal and not carry something that is not mine to carry, and to be okay with whatever the outcome is of me sharing this information, I was finally able to get to a point where I was able to break my silence. But I went through very dark times getting to that place in between the Tony Robins and yeah it was at so UPW was my first Tony
Robbins event. Then I went to Date with Destiny, so and Date with Destiny makes UPW look like kindergarten like and this.
Is all I feel like we're promoting. Tony Robins. Shout out to him, hope you do the show by right, come on a lot of testimony, A lot of people look at you all right now. Absolutely, because here's the thing.
There's so many tools to healing, there's so many pathways. He was a big part of that first part of my journey. And then I've gone on to other teachers and modalities from plant medicines to other things, because I really thought that personal development, growth enlightenment. I can just take like this magic pill. If I just learned this like one thing, if I into this one event and I did it well, I graduated, I was done.
Like I'm healed, like I'm good child.
It's layers.
It's so many layers because we have unlimited potential and we have unlimited depth to us. So even as you were healing and going up in this they call spiral dynamics. There's still more to on earth. There's still more late now you may not deal with the situation the same way anymore. Maybe you are an abusive relationship and then and then you finally took your power back, so now you're not in abusive relationships anymore, or you're able to
say no, that don't work for me. I have boundaries, But then you'll be tested on something else because there'll be another layer to that.
I see what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, I can see that. How does so you're going through this personal development journey? How are you financing your life? How are you even financing these because these clinics aren't.
And because as I went on this like deep dive, I ended up joining Tony's like Platinum Partnership, which is a very hefty price. You probably end up spending around one hundred K by the time you're done for that like years you spent that. I ended up spending probably
like fifty because it's like you get private events. So there's a small number of people that travel around the world with Tony and we go to like private events, and then you get access to all of the regular public events as well, and so I did all of the public ones. I did only a few of the private ones because like, money started running.
Out, Yeah, how are you financing all?
So it was through my severance from leaving the.
L and the money from the funeral couple spent all that money.
That money was going.
Yeah, you can have convinced me to spend my last fifty on Tony. I'm sorry, Tony, you know Tony and the Girls. But hey, you led to three times best selling author actress executive producers, So obviously this was a pibroll milestone. What was the next pibroll milestone to get you closer to that? That?
Like?
What was the was what was the order of executive producer actress? Because it sounds like you were doing acting when you're doing the home shopping right, yes? Or is that like your early early early acting.
I guess yeah, I've done.
Like I've been to like NCIS, New Orleans, like a few HBO shows. So I did acting before before? What got you to the acting milestone? So I my degree, So I went to school for Dramatic Arts communication, and then I also got a minor in psychology So I started college when I was sixteen, and I wanted to go to UCLA, but my parents like, yo, young naive self, No, ma'am, You're not about to go out to California by yourself at sixteen.
Yeah, no, I'm with them. Okay, So you were. You were a very good student.
Yeah, in two I think I was more so determined, Like I knew my real life was on the other side of school. So I'm like, how could I get through this process as fast as possible? And so in high school because I was in the honors classes and stuff like that, and then I realized I only needed like so many more credits to be able to literally
skip a grade. And I was like, bet I went to summer school, took like gyms, I went and got I never I still don't even necessarily drive to this day, Like I never was interested in driving.
Yeah, I notice you said you were going to get I love you, Like this is like literally from you.
And the only reason why I went and got my driver's license and took the driver's tess is because you got school credit for it.
So I was like, oh, God, got it. So you you you scaled through school, you graduated sixteen. Then you go to college.
I go to University of New Orleans because it was like pick something local.
I go to U n O.
And then I did the same thing.
I went to the guidance counselor or whatever.
The administrative thing.
Wasn't found out how many class stocking tests out of Like how could I get through this even faster? And I ended up graduating college by nineteen.
Wow, yeah, I did see that on your bio.
Yeah.
I was like, how do I get to the other side of this process? Because my real life is over there. I just kept it envisioning, like I gotta do this, Like.
But yeh right. So then after you graduate college, your next step is Hewlett Packard.
My next step.
So my last semester in college, I have an internship at Fox eight. So Fox eight out of New Orleans, I get hired on. After I graduate, I worked as a production assistant and then went into field producing. So I worked for Fox in news for two years and every day a raper, murder of fire, raper murder of fire. I was like, this isn't First of all, I was getting numb to those topics, and I was like, this is not how I want to feel about this, so I don't think this is the part of the TV
world that I want to be in. So I leave from there, I start working at just independent production companies, just working on just independent projects, and then I got scooped up by Heltt Packard and they were like, oh okay, inst and then I just I scaled up into management and the district management. And so I was with HP for probably nearly a decade.
Yeah.
Yeah, And even in that time, I was still acting, and I even had a television show that I was a part of the cast of a reality show that I was like shooting simultaneously with working as well. So I've always been one to have like multiple things going on where possible. So then after leaving Heallett Packard, we do the little stints.
We go from death to.
Life and in that journey of going through personal development and yeah, shelling out a lot of cash for these tools for this access and then the bank account starts going down, down, down, down, down down down.
Reality calls.
It calls big time, and it was like, wow, Okay, I'm getting these things that I need.
But then on this other side, I'm going into a hole.
Yea, in this hole and I'm like, how do I how do I now get out of this hole? Because this planting that I'm doing, or really reading that I'm doing and replanting that takes time, Like I'm not just fixed overnight and then able to like step into my power and step into my new life and figure out.
I was like, I need money, Yeah, you need money, So what's the next place.
Yeah.
So in that time I also ended up writing a book, So writing my first book called how to Become a Publicity Magnet in Any Market via TV Ratio in print because everybody from my background and television, my background in corporate at that time, people would always ask me, well, how do I get my product or business or service like on these very powerful platforms, And so I was like I keep answering these questions over and over again to people because there must be a better way.
Yeah.
Yes, So literally wrote that book and then that was my first kind of step into entrepreneurship because yeah, you write a book, but it's more than just writing a book.
Yeah, how do you get it picked up? How do you get it published? All that? So what did you do?
Yes?
And so I worked with a managing editor, so through the publishing company that I worked with and so they published the book.
But how did you get the publishing?
I found through the Tony Robbins world, So through my connections that I had built in relationships that I had built in that world. Wow.
Yeah, and that's the key thing too.
You are the some of the people you surround yourself with, Like proximity is power, and so yeah, I didn't have the money to be able to pay for a lot of the services or things that I need, but I had relationships with people who were able to help me along that process and then able to get a deal for the publishing of the book, and then all of that stuff was taken care of of, like getting it out there into the world, like we ended up getting
it to a number one bestseller. But it's like all that in between time there's no income coming in, Like there's nothing as you're building something. Yeah, and so you have to like we're interdependent. Like I tried so hard, and I guess I think that was probably a trauma response, Like I always wanted to do everything myself. I wanted to like just be misindependent and I don't want to have to rely on you, because if I have to rely on you, that means I have to trust you.
And if I have to trust you, then it means that you could potentially pull the rug from underneath me.
And so I never thought of independence as a trauma response, but when you break it down, I'm like, that is I thought it was just yeah, that makes sense though when you say it like that, Okay, learn more. And independence can be considered a trauma respond be depending on what the intention of it is.
Because if the intention of it is to protect myself and to shield myself from ever being hurt, from ever being having to rely on somebody else where's that really coming from.
I never thought of independence as a trauma response, but as an independent woman, boy, I'm very concerned about myself now and it's beautiful.
Now.
When you look at independent people, you'd be like, yeah, you pay all your own bills. You be lying nobody. Oh man, you've been through a lot, but think about it, but that's fun. You can still be independent.
Would have an interdependent mindset that you know that no, I work in community with other people to be able to do the things that I do. I can trust and rely on because one I've come to trust myself. So when I get that intuitive hit that you will know. You'll know if I get that intuitive hit that you are a person that I shall say yes and move forward with great I will trust that.
So if if and this is going off to the side, but I have to ask, so if you have an independent person, you think that's a trauma response. What happens to a person that's overly dependent? Is that coming from a uma tip? Okay, mid lane, you got that middle lane again, It's about an overly dependent person come from a trauma response. You know what I to talk about just one of those people that just skate through life and everybody just somehow just falls in placement. It never
the responsible is that can that when they end up response? Yeah, like you know like just oh life was handed, Oh life just had oh someone just could oh like could that be considered trauma or could that be like man, they had so much people that they could depend on around them that they just never became independent. This is like a real question because I've seen I've seen it dependent on my mind.
Who literally and he considers himself having a life of riley and so and that's a term, the life of riley, meaning that things just show up for you. So you've never had to like literally take responsibility because life can get the life handing you like opportunity, opportunity, resource after resource, Like you don't even know how to like do life on your own.
Yeah, so life of Riley? Is that an effect of any type of trauma? Or is that just like, hey, someone was born on out the woman Cuba, just that, hey, life of Riley on you. I've seen some people you like, I mean, can't God just shake one branch that you please? You're not trying to be a hater, but so that's not trauma or is that a trauma response if you're or is that just life of Riley.
Here's the thing.
We all come here for our own lessons to learn, and we have all had some type of trauma in our lives. I mean, even the birth process is traumatic. You coming through a very tight space into life and coming into a bright light being smacked you know, on the behind, Like that's traumatic.
But you also don't really remember it either. So hmmm, I don't know one person I was like, I remember the day I was born, coming down that into her vagint No, I remember when she was breathing up. No, don't nobody on earth knock all Wood if you if you know anybody that remembers their birth story when I definitely don't believe it. I don't know there's a reason why you don't remember it, so you can't be considered trauma.
I don't know if it can be considered trauma like a birth experience, you just don't remember it as nose well, psychological things that happened in our early childhood.
You may not consciously remember it, but your unconscious mind holds everything.
Like it's old, with exception to the birth. Let's just let's just because people have been born in toilets and bathrooms, like, no, they're not waking up like I remember that time and she, you know, had me in a toilet. You know what I'm talking about. So I just say the birth traumas don't count for anyone that's like, well, I have that one time when my mom gave birth. Back to your story,
so you're you're on this journey. You you you reach out to an old partner from Tony Robbins or friend or so affiliate from Tony Robbins, and you get a publishing deal.
Yes, so my first book gets published. It does very well. It opens up the space for me to start speaking. So I started speaking at like conferences events, and then that like kind of opens something for me because I'm like, wait, I do have a voice. I am supposed to be like sharing messages that matter to people around the world.
And so that opened because I really I consider myself like, yes, I have these titles like executive, producer, actress, author, I consider myself a highly effective communicator.
So now that you find out your great speaker and you're doing these speaking speaking gigs, your book is top selling, what's the next play after that?
It's to continue to grow.
It's like, Okay, You've tapped into something, and now how do we go deeper with it? How do we continue not only the healing journey, but your expansion journey of using your gifts and using your voice. And I've always been a real big proponent of like Napoleon Hill, like thinking Girl Rich has been a guide post in my life and utilizing the six Steps to Riches that are in that book, utilizing those principles of success and helping to just reformulate how I see the world and how
I operate in the world. And I decided like, Okay, how can I take these principles and go even deeper with them, so I decided to do so. The Napoleon Hill Foundation offers a certification program that allows you to become a Napoleon Hill.
Do you have to pay into it too? Oh my gosh, Okay.
Everything takes.
And well because the training is it takes about three years to go through the training program and there was.
No expedated way. I'm sure if there was, you would have skipped it.
Girl.
So you did the three years.
So it really is a lifelong thing. But no, I don't even think it took me three years. It didn't take a full three years because I did find ways to like just hammer out and get through each of the steps. So there's a home study program that you do, there isn't in person, you know, leadership course that you do, and then you do a certa service project so your way of being able to give back through those principles.
And while we were at the leadership certification in person, we were in Frenchley, Indiana, which is the home of Napoleon Hill, and our entire class was given the assignment to write a one page children's story based upon one of the principles that was assigned. So we all got a little slip of paper with just a number on it. So mine had the number ten. I was like ten.
Perfect, that's enthusiasm. I was like, that's my favorite principle. I was like Bet.
And so we had to pick a writing partner, and so I scanned the room and the lady who I had rode in on the shuttle from the airport with you know, she was available, Diane, and so I was like cool, like Dian. So we had an hour during our lunch break. We go up to my room and so we're thinking, okay, well, what kind of story can we write about enthusiasm? And then this story just starts coming out, and it starts coming out in this rhymed pattern. So it was like okay, at right, and I was
like Bet, like, let's let's go with it. So we write this story and it was called the Town of Lost and Found. We come back to the class and like all the groups start going up presenting their story, we get up. We present our story and the reaction in the room was overwhelming, and we both looked at each other and we was like, I think we got something here. We go sit down. Other groups get up and another group gets up and they do a story on enthusiasm, and I was like, that was a different story.
But I'm like, there was only one principle as signed for groups of how is that impossible? And so I go back. I went into my little notebook. I pulled out the little ten. I go look down the list of principles. Ten is not enthusiasm. No, ten is accurate.
Thank you.
Oh wow.
But I knew in that moment that God the universe put a blinder over my eyes to see what I needed to see in that moment.
Got it.
Got it because after the class was over, the executive director of the Napoleon Hill Foundation and her assistant came over to us and was like, we loved what you all did with that story. And they were like, we don't know where this would go or what would happen, but we would love for you to do that for all seventeen of the principles.
Wow. And so we were like, yes, I had always talk. Did you say yes how much or no, I get my red my money back? You didn't say that. I was just so honored.
And also because it was a dream come true and why I had I used to say this all the time. We should talk about the power of your words. I used to always tell people. I was like, I am the love child of Oprah Winfrey and Napoleon Hill. I was like, that's my real mom and dad.
Oh wow, I hope your parents don't listen to this, but wait backcheck.
So you end up publishing which I bought the book. The name of the book called The Amazing Advantes of Oliver Hill.
Oliver I just bought that book for my daughter is pretty pretty amazing books. Book I did call you. This is what actually, you know, got us to talking was this particular book. And the first thing I asked you was like, well, before we get into what I asked you, let's go back to the money stance, because we got to talk it. So you you, you and Diane, you write this book. You write it book, you give it to Napoleon Hills.
Still and I still know how much foundations And we ended up giving it to them and giving the rights of the book over to them so that all the proceeds that come from the cell of that book go back to the Napoleon Hill Foundation, and that became our service project to them. There's more power in giving than receiving. I knew that this was a legacy.
What does Napoleon Hill's Foundation do again?
Key?
So they that book was very impressive. That book was very good. And then I told you the only and now I guess I'll say it, especially after knowing that you gave away the rights. She didn't just give it to them, she gave away all the rights. Okay, I have like, okay, that book selld how many a lot?
Right?
Oh yeah, and you're still comfortable with giving okay because picture there is a bigger picture. So I did get the book and the only thing that deterred me. And I'm not really a race I don't know if I'm not really a race person, but uh, but I guess for the sake of this, I'm gonna say I am. It was a very impactful book when you think of think and grow rich. I like to assume that all black people have read this book. But I actually had a conversation with a friend the other day and he said,
not all black read. Black people read that book. It was like the book the people that are you know, that are driven to read or whatever you have read that book. Don't don't blanket it, but that book is a powerful book. I know it was a powerful book in my life. The question I have is, now you
have this book and it definitely translates very well. I read my daughter's books, and I am one of those people that will buy books and go I can't believe I bought this book, like either the either it's too wordy or the pictures aren't right, or then you have not enough words and you know so. And definitely, when it comes to children's book, a book snob like as and it's weird. It's only with children's books. It's like she has shoves at home, and I will order these
books and buy it off the title. Now I like to skim them and see, like what the pictures are. Knowing that you had was the author one made me buy it. But the first thing I asked you was like, I just don't understand how a book of this much powered impact had It looked like there was a bunch of white kids on the cover, and I felt like, you know, a little black and brown kids. You know you want to read them a book and as I get older, that reflects them. So you know, that was
the first question I asked you. And you could go ahead and share your response because just in case anyone else wants to buy the book for their kids, they not absolutely shocked, but go ahead.
And so in the process of writing, we were sending the stories over to the Foundation, and then they hired the illustrator to you know, illustrate it, which happened to be a Korean, you know, young lady out of Korea who literally only spoke Korean, so everything had to be
translated into Korean for her. And I had written out very specific instructions on like the diversity I wanted to see in this in this book, and when we got back the first sets of illustrations, they were literally absolutely no kids of color, and I was like, no.
You had already signed the rights over before the project or just trying to get it, just trying to get it right. Okay, Okay. The name of the book is The Adventures of the Amazing Adventures of Oliver Hill. So if you have young kids, definitely check out the book. You know, sorry to harp on this one part, because this is what caught my attention with you, you know, and it caught my attention as well, and so I was like I reached back out to the Foundation.
I was like cause they were so excited. They were like, these illustrations are so beautiful, and so it's interesting how certain lenses like don't even see like the divide, don't even see that. Wait, there's an issue here because we're lacking some diversity. And so I brought that to their attention and I was ready to if they weren't going to do anything about it, to walk away, and so
I reached out. I brought my concerns and I'm like, I cannot be an author of color and they're not be not one person of color now, one little black girl, not one in this entire book, of all these characters that we've created.
I was like, this is not okay. And the executive director she agreed with me.
She was like no, like and we didn't even like it wasn't yeah, it was like literally an oversight. We just saw like these beautiful illustrations, was like, wow, this is amazing. And so they sent back instruction to the illustrator and then Julia, she is the character that they you know, re had redone and made a character of color. And I still was like I wanted more and I felt like it deserved to have more. And even in that point or stage of my life. And again, the
how you do anything is how you do everything. Like I settled, and I still had not gotten to my full power yet in owning my voice yet, but I was grateful to have had enough healing at least stand.
Up the transparency in that hole. What you just said is crazy, Like that's appreciated because I don't think we openly, even as successful as we are acknowledged, Like maybe at this point, maybe I did settle or what have you. I'm not gonna lie if the roles, if I was in your shoes, I definitely would have done exactly what you said. Probably I don't know about the giving up
the rights or anything. I don't know. I don't know if I'm that much of a gift giver because the book was really good, is really good, I did skim through. I'm trying to, you know, right now, my daughter's into The Monster Book right now, which is the most annoying book in my life, but trying to get her to sit down and read it. But I did, of course read it as an adult, and I was like, this is a great book. I definitely want to get it
from my friend's kids. And I'm glad that like you even like once you said that to me over the phone. I was like, all right, you know what you think about coming on eating while broke, But no, I'm glad hear that story. So so just to be clear, Napoleon Hill's Foundation, yes, not trying to get into it. So they got all the proceeds. Diane didn't get anything. Nobody got you guys, just okay, what does the Napoleon Hill do Foundation do for?
For? Where does that money go? So the Napoleon Hill Foundation is all about perpetuating and continuing to put Napoleon Hill's principles out into the world. So they do a lot of programs in the community. So this book went into schools. It became part of the Napoleon Hill scholars program and universities where they would use that book and then go into schools with it. They use it like in library programs, and so it's used in some very
like charitable and giving ways. Yes, they make proceeds, you know, when the book sells online or through their website or at events and things of that nature, but all of that too goes back into programming that they do for the community.
Alone. Foundation that the habit of malone foundation is what is impacting are you today?
Yes?
And you know what, even that whole experience, I just hope that even with that whole experience, maybe there could be just a have a habl of malone black version or minority version.
Oh you let me tell you, let me do you know? Because what that sparked in me? Because here's the thing. Life happens for us, not to us. I feel like even that experience, it fulfilled a part of a dream of being a part of a legacy in Napoleon that has impacted my life, and now I get to be a part of that legacy to help the next generation. It also sparked within me a seed of you. You've
been able to do this for them. It's time for you to do it because you have the skill set, you have the knowledge, You have things to share and stories to share that can be put into a form for children to be able to ingest. And you can. But I wasn't ready at that time, but I can with the view to diversity that I have in mind, with the view to inclusivity that I want to see in the world in books and making sure that children feel like, wow, this is for me I can create that now.
Yeah, yeah, I mean I'm looking forward to it and I definitely, you know, would like to see the proceeds go to right. You know, I think what you did was great. I mean knowledge is knowledge. I mean when Think and Grow Rich came out, I don't think anybody was looking at the race of Napoleon Hell at the time, right, or rich Dad, Poor Dad? Nobody.
There's so many other versions of that book that have come out since. Thinking We're Rich Ad Black Choice by Dennis kimbro He partnered with the foundation thinking did he get to.
Keep Well, when you say partner with the foundation, do you know if he got to keep.
Any of his?
Don't?
I don't know what their deals are? Like investigator, how many how many people from Napoleon Hill Graduation just turned around and gave back all their rights. I'm going to open up full.
On investigation now, because like Sharon lecter So, she did Thinking Girl Rich for Women, she also did Three Feet from Gold, which is through the Napoleon Hill Foundation.
I doubt, I doubt she gave up all of her She's not black though. What about the Thinking gro richni is kim Broke?
Probably not?
And there's Thinking gir richal Latino choice, there's thinking like there's so many now versions of thinking Girl Rich that have been updated to have examples of people like of our generation of time, and that are geared towards specific, diverse audiences that will speak in terms that resonate with them. Because I always suggest to people the original one first and then read one of the course alternative versions, because it'll give you the foundation of like where it was
based from. Because Napoleon Hill he went and interviewed over five hundred of the most successful people of his time, from Thomas Edison to Henry Ford to President Woodrow Wilson and President Roosevelt to find out Andrew Carnegie to find out what they did different from everybody else that made them successful and was able to boil that down to seventeen principles that if you apply those principles, you will be successful.
Period. So and just a side note, since we're talking about books, you do a book. I don't know if you've ever read it, but it's one of my favorite books. There's a couple of my favorites that are like my go to. But have you read Outwitting the Double Heck, yes, I don't know that is from Napoleon Hill, right, that book was a phenomenal. I think people don't talk about that book enough.
That conversation that he had, I thought that was so brilliant. He so his family.
I can't believe I space that was from Napoleon. Yeah, okay, I guess the Napoleon and Hell Foundation ain't that bad? Right? Well, I don't know. Do you get unlimited membership to like get more classes for free? Oh I'm a part of the okay family, so you get free no more pain? No? Okay cool? Do you get a friends of family? Uh? And for free?
Well if they don't do like the events that the foundation does are more like fundraiser events anyways, So it's not but for the schooling.
Oh, the certification program, it's not a lot.
Like the certification program is like really inexpensive, like what probably less than a thousand dollars.
Okay, okay, all right, so okay, okay, so you go on after this. I just want to know that you get a friends and family, you know, like I have girlfriends that could be their friends and family. Uh, Marriott discounts and like it. You know, I just want to know if you get a friends of family because you because I know that book sold a lot. That book sold a lot and it had a huge has a
huge impact. So after this book goes on to be a best seller, you say, well, heck man, I got to put out on another book, right.
And I didn't put out another book. It's interesting about me. I do what I feel called at a time that I feel called to it. And so when I feel called to share a message or to do a specific thing or create a certain thing, then that's when I do it. Even if it's like no, now the top you got to like create this and do that. Unless it's an internal calling, it ain't happening. Spoken like a true entrepreneur. So how are you surviving this whole time while you're you know, you giving away money. I love
it because I was still doing exact speaking engagements. So my first book was still selling. I was still speaking on that, on those topics, and now it also opened up speaking engagements for those principles of success and like speaking on thinking grown, yeah, thinking you're rich topics, so to corporations and to schools and things of that nature. So I get paid, you know, to go out and do those things. I wasn't making money from the book. Yeah,
those posts were going to the foundation. There was fruits to the book, yes, okay. And that's the thing that people don't realize. It's like, even for the most part, your money isn't going to really be made from the product. It's from all the ancillary things around the product.
It's so funny because this conversation comes up a lot lately, but eating while broke but ancillary. So you made money off the ancillaries in addition to the book, and you're skating through life. What's your next BIG's play? Like are you starting to just act more? Or can you take me there? Yeah?
And so it was interesting. So I'm doing a lot of speeches. Goal Cast, which is an online motivational platform. They do these like how do you say, like condensed motivational videos and you have people like Tony Robbins, Oprah Winfrey like and they're viral videos that they create. And so they picked up one of my speeches and then did a gold Cast video, so it almost becomes like
a little Ted talk and that thing. It went viral and it was about following your childhood dreams, and so many people started reaching out like wow, this really motivated me to like go after like I always wanted to be a nurse, and like I finally just went ahead and like, you know, I'm going to nursing school now, or like all these things, and I'm just like something clicked inside of me. And I was like, you're out here sharing all these principles telling people to go after
their dreams, do these things. But there's a dream that you have that you still haven't fully pursued yet. How are you gonna sit there and tell if people do something that you still need to do? And I was like, ooh, so I told you. I started college when I was sixteen. My first career path, or the first path I was
going to go down, was to become a lawyer. So when I was in high school, I was a part of a junior league program where we used to try real cases in court, and so the defendants were already found guilty of their crimes, but we just already sentencing in front of the judge. And I loved it. So I was going to become a lawyer. And then right when I was having to make my decision of you know what I was going to study in school, I was like I can go to law school become a lawyer,
or I could just play one on TV. I was like, it's probably way more fun. So I went the dramatic arts communication to the entertainment route. So I'm like, yes, you have done all these other things on television, play cops, like all this stuff, but you have never played a lawyer on television and you literally changed the trajectory of your life to fulfill this dream that you've not done. So I was like, Okay, it's time. It's time for
me to practice when I am preaching. I literally made a decision that day and I was like, I'm moving to California to more fully pursue my acting career and I'm going to play a lawyer on television.
Okay.
I took Napoleon Hills, Think and Grow rich in those six Steps to Richest formula, and I created a plan for myself. I reached out to an acting coach that I had out here, like from years ago, and I was like, when is your next intensive or your next course starting up? Like when is that happening? She told me it was going to be June twenty ninth. This was of twenty nineteen. I said, Bet I'll be there by June twenty six. This was fifty one days between the day I called her and then June twenty six.
So I took that formula. I created my plan. June twenty six, I moved out to California and I literally like hit the ground running. Within two years of being here. I booked a role as a lawyer on HBOS and Secure and it was just like and I've done like a lot, like in the commercial world. I mean, I've had like four Super Bowl commercials constant, even during the pandemic.
Like I felt like super blessed because I was still able to because I had production background, because a lot of the commercials you saw during that time were like zoom commercials or like cell phone you know type of things. Because content still had to be created even though we couldn't get together to do it.
I thrived in that time.
Not only did I I stayed booked and busy, I also was able to take a three month cross country road trip because I was like, I have to keep looking at these four walls.
I could look at any four walls I want to.
And I literally traveled across the country still working and had the most tremendous experience, and the career has only continued to just like escalate and escalate, and more and more things came and I got to the point I was like, I really only have three more specific acting goals, So then what is next? What's the next iteration? And it's like to be able to be in a position to create opportunities, to be able to tell the stories I want to tell and open the doors for other
people to do what they do very well. Like I come from a management background, I come from a business background, so I'm just like, executive producing is very much the business of it all, and so it just it felt like the right step and the move to move forward in this industry. So I was like, outside of those like three specific acting goals, I'm just like, it's time for me to help more stories get told. And so
that's what I've gotten the opportunity to do. Like we're actually in pre production right now on a film and I'm executive producing and in the casting process.
Of because good lord, that is a whole nother.
And like I've you know, helped her to invest money in other projects, and I'm just like, there's nothing that you cannot accomplish if you set your mind to it. I've also published another book. So during the pandemic, I finally because the universe was like, oh, you're saying you're so busy that you can't write this book that you've been knowing you're supposed to write and this message you're supposed to share. So now let me put the universe on pause so that you have nothing but time to
sit here and write this book. And so that was the one that came out in twenty twenty twenty one, which was Rewriting a New History, a spiritual path to audacious authenticity and healing, which goes into because there's many forms and modalities for healing, but this one goes very deeply into ayahuasca. And so I'm just I'm just super grateful, like just for this life and how it continues to unfold and all that I get to keep learning because I'm still learning, I'm still growing.
Yeah, you're definitely one that's hungry to learn and grow. I'd say that you definitely put a lot of focus on that, and I can appreciate that, even though I do focus a lot more on money, but yeah, I can appreciate that there was that's a lot. So what advice would you give to anyone coming up behind you, whether they're pursuing acting, publishing, for any any dream. And can you just quickly before you get out, just name the six principles. Oh six stepsis, Yeah, just name them.
You don't have to explain them.
Oh yeah, yeah.
So it's to determine the amount of money that you want, like the specific amount of money that you want. Determine the date by which you want to attain that money. The third step is to determine what you're willing to get give in order to receive that money. Then you write out a written statement of your plan to attain the money. And then the fifth one is that all morning and night you will recite that out loud with feeling, with belief that that is already attained.
I'm missing a step. You create the goal you Oh, you write it. Yeah, you get to write it down.
Yeah, you create the money goal that you want.
To say the sixth steps.
You will determine the amount of money that you want, specific a specific dollar amount. You will determine the date by which you want that amount of money. Then you will write that down into a written statement. You will determine what you will give in order to receive that money, and then you will take that written statement and you will say that out loud with feeling and belief in the morning, when you wake up, and before you go
to bed at night. And that is to be able to solidify that within yourself and draw that to yourself and allow that to flow through.
I like that. Yeah, I like that. I think that's the that's right. There is the advice to be honest. Yeah.
Yeah, you gotta determine what you want.
You gotta determine. I think I seen Oprah say that on some clip, saying, like a lot of people just don't know what they want. And you know what, sometimes when I'm very frustrated or I don't know what to do, my friends will say, you know what, it sounds to me like you don't know what you want, So why don't you figure it out what it is you want? Have that conversation with yourself, give us the answer. We're not going to judge you, and we could proceed. But
until you know what you want then then yeah. So and in that I was like, oh, okay, well that's a good question. And now now I say it, what do you want. Oh, I know what I want, and I know that by me knowing what I want, I also indirectly know what I don't want.
And that's the thing. When you ask people, for the most part, what do you want, they will immediately go to what they don't want because it's easier for their mind to grasp or to articulate or I don't want it to be like this, and I don't want that, and I don't want it to be like this. But then, because that's what you're giving energy to, that's what you're giving focus to, that's what you're literally drawing in. You are magnetizing the thing that you don't want because that's
what you're focused on. If you could literally let that go and solely focus on what you want, it has no choice but to come to you.
I agree with that. Uh, I agree with that. And guys, if you're hungry and you're broke, feel free to get some instant grits, some jilo penos, and some cashiers, because I assure you that is a fulfilling meal and we after we close out, me and Havala will be eating that for lunch. Thank y'all all for tuning in on another episode of Eating While Broke