AMINA BUDDAFLY - Apple Oats & German Pancakes

Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of Eating While Broke. Today I have a very special guest, reality TV star musician mother.

I mean a butterfly is.

In the building. Yes, yes, yes, and I'm very excited to have you here. I met you a couple of years ago and you were a breath of fresh air, very beautiful in person.

Today. What will you have us eat?

Okay, so I'm gonna have us eat a super simple breakfast dish. Actually it's two separate dishes, but they are easy to make, cheap, and you know something that I ate a lot during hard times. So one is a apples and oatmeal. That German term for it is a famously and I actually used to eat it as well as I you know, was growing up in Germany, and then I took it along with me into, you know, my struggle.

Times in New York.

But the other one is a German pancake, also super simple, and it's a little bit different than you know, the pancakes that people are used to in America, the few ones. It's more like a almost like a crape. But it's a German pancake and easy to make.

Okay, So it's it's apple and and oats.

And then and I used to eat it for breakfast all the time.

So for the oats, what are the ingredients?

So it's old fashioned oats. It is apple.

I use one apple for one serving, so if I just eat it by myself, it'll be one apple, and I put almonds, orange juice and cinnamon, and that's it. And it's not it doesn't have to be cooked on the stove. So you can just wait a minute. How is it not cooked on the stove? You don't cook it on the stove.

That's the okay.

And then and then for the pancakes, the pancakes.

Ingredients are flour, milk, sugar, and eggs.

Awesome, this is pretty simple. I've never heard of any of the above. I'm going to ask you to repeat the name of the way you said it.

In Germany, I.

Call it famously, and it's apples and odes basically the translation.

Okay, okay, yeah, but it's in German.

That's what it sounds like. Okay, it sounds really special when you say it. But all right, so walk us through. Go ahead, go ahead with the apples. Okay, take a bowl, you peel the apples.

Peel on it, and then you need a shredder like this, and you just go all around.

Until you know you come to the.

And just so you know, if I would have, like actually known about this dish, I would have helped you pre make it.

But like, it's literally it's super fast to make.

This is probably the most annoying part because you know, you get your fingers dirty and stuff like that.

But it's apple.

It's an apple. Yeah, it's apple. I didn't know what kind of apples do you like? I only eat honey.

Crisp, But for this dish, I picked up Granny Smith.

I love it. You can use any apple that you like.

If you like sweeter, you know, obviously you would pick like a Pink Lady or whatever you like.

Any kind of apple works. I was thinking more sour.

That's why sour is always good, even though this dish does not have any sugar.

That's why what I like about is healthy too.

It's a super healthy breakfast dish, and that should be enough for this.

I'm more curious how you're gonna do this without a stood Yeah.

Man, this doesn't see When I tell people about this dish, I actually posted it before on social media and people were like, wait, you don't cook the oats.

I don't eat oats with that, you know, without them being cooked. And so you just I don't measure as you see, I don't measure anything.

I like that. That's a respectable I think.

That's yeah, a little bit more because it should be equal amount apple and oats.

And then we take the chopped.

Almonds, and just so you guys know, she actually buy hand, took a knife and just chopped the almonds.

I did, but it also didn't take long.

And then all I need.

Is cinnamon because that gives it the flavor that makes it so good.

And then the orange juice, and.

We I've never seen this, I know, like people like orange juice with oats, no way, But wait till you taste it because the apple, I think it doesn't want to you don't want to make it, you know, want to have it swim in it, but you want a definitely nice and moist.

And this is something this is is this like culturally normal in Germany?

You know what I think it's it's actually my mom made it up. It's not a typical German recipe, okay, but it's something that my mom.

Introduced me to.

And I just remember that I used to always make it when I just was hungry in the morning and wanted something healthy and fresh, because you know.

It looks super healthy. This is it, you guys, This is all all you have to do that too. It's vegan. It's vegan, guys. I didn't even learn my first vegan this.

Yeah, I did not even even think about the aspect of being vegan.

Yeah, that's the thing.

What was going on at the time when your mom had she was making up dishes?

Like was she Were you guys struggling or.

Yeah, I mean, I don't know if I want to say struggling. But we definitely were poor. We didn't grow up with much and my mom never had much money.

Single mom.

Dad left when we when I was eight, and yeah, we never had much even before when dad was around, Like, we were never.

A family of like eating out was like wait what.

We never got to eat outside or like in a restaurant or something like that. So I definitely my mom would always freestyle cook and do things like this, and that's I think where I got it from now, as you know, being my having kids myself, I think I got a lot of my style of cooking from my mother.

Just whipping stuff together and then it's coming out.

Well, let's let's sample it, so no cooking. She just fixed the apples with the oatmeal. Who was the oats and orange juice and almonds, and it looks delicious.

And guys, I have just.

Learned how to make my first vegan dish, which you guys know I'm trying to eventually switch over to vegans.

So and it looks very beautiful.

Yeah, I are you vegan. I'm not vegan, but I eat.

I like to eat healthy, you know, I don't eat a lot of meat and stuff like that.

And you see, I'm excited.

What you think.

It's not sweet?

It's really good.

You good at sugar? If you like it, doesn't eat sugar.

You could also adding that my apple, I chose the Granny Smith, which was sour.

I didn't know what to expect I did it. I was like if I go sweet, but no, I would choose.

You could probably choose a sweeter apple.

And you could also add like, if you like raisins, my mom used to put raisins in it.

I don't love raisins, so I always make it like this.

Yeah, I would leave it like this. Yeah, And people love it.

People are like orange juice with olds.

I don't know about that.

But with the apple, the part of me feels like I wouldn't mix this with a little bit of yogurt, but I don't know if that would mess it up.

I just don't know about mixing orange juice with Maybe maybe you could wear that, right, There's one things for sure. It's super healthy and easy to make, and you don't need much.

You can leave the almonds out.

If you do.

Your kids know how to make this.

They yeah, they absolutely do, but they you know, I still make it for them just because I.

Don't want them to hurt their fingers on this. But they know how to make it. I know this dish is good because I'm gonna finish it. So this is a tad out of ten.

Okay, oh yeah, See it's not for everybody. But if you like me and you like something healthy in the morning, something quick.

I will say in this dish too. If you're not a fan of an oatmeal, this is the best way to eat it.

See, it doesn't taste like the typical oatmeal.

It doesn't like it does not like like you know. For me, oatmeal has textures that I don't really like. But I could totally eat this every day. I think this will be my meal of choice because it's super healthy, super.

Different, even if you made a full breakfast and just had this on the side.

Crazy thing, the kids love it.

My kids at least love it, and you know you're feeding your kids something good.

I think the orange just really seals it.

Mm hm.

That's the crazy part. The thing that people are questioning is what makes it feel that dish?

Yes, the next one, So the next one I think even easier and simpler.

That was amazing for I think that was the first time I actually enjoyed oatmeal one hundred percent.

Should I just go ahead and make it? This is gonna be the German pancake. You gonna go ahead, So stove.

On and she used the butterspray.

Guys, I'm going to use the egg and the milk and the sugar.

I think I need to pour a little bit out because.

We have too much, too much flour.

Oh, I'm mixing it with the Yeah, you're you're We're not gonna use that, okay, So all we need is the flour, the egg, the milk, and the sugar.

Mix it all together.

Flour egg, milk, sugar.

And again I'm not confiding. I'm just oh light whisk yeah's good as you pour the milk.

I feel so lazy because I always buy the she made pancake mix and just add one.

Oh yeah.

I never even like growing up. My mom made everything from scratch. And again this is something that came from home from Germany and that I brought with me once I, you know, we moved to New York, me and my sisters.

I didn't have much either. What made you guys move to New York? You know, music?

Like you know what age? I was nineteen, Okay, I was nineteen.

My twin I have a twin sister, Jazz, who obviously also was nineteen at the time, and then our oldest sister, Sophie, two years older. You guys packed up together and packed up and just moved to New York all.

What was your mom saying?

You know?

She what made her comfortable is that we were together. Okay, I think it was. If it would have been just one of us, like would have been different. But we were always together. She trusted us.

She wasn't really concerned, which is crazy.

Because we really went to New York with nothing like no plan, no, no money?

Really well did she did?

She also feel like she still had a choice in it or you guys kind even came to her like we're leaving.

Oh yeah, we we we decided we were going, and she could. She wouldn't have been able to stop us even if she she didn't try, but if she would have said, like, no, I don't think it's a good idea.

We our mind was made up, you know, to go to New York.

So she was a single mom with how many kids? She had twins?

By the way, Oh yeah, I'm a fraternal But are you fraternal or identical?

I am identical identical twin my sister exactly like.

Me, No way, So I always like here with her, Yeah I have I have heart.

People always like is this at me?

And now were the twin?

So your mom had your you and your your sister and who else was in the Yes, me and my twin are older sister.

And then my mom had another child by another man when I was eleven, so I have an eleven year younger sister also.

So it was four of us, four girls.

Wow, yeah, but the three of us, the three of us are older sisters. We were very close, and we would do everything together, and we you know, we started singing together. So we were we've kind of always had been a group, a singing group, and you, oh, you.

Guys were in a group. Yeah, there was no jealousy or rivalry between you and your sister. Absolutely not.

Now.

We were more like I think we wouldn't have gotten into music even if if we weren't sisters, because it was a whole you know, it was that whole singing in harmony, all of that stuff that we would do.

You know.

It was the nineties. Nineties.

Girl groups was pop everywhere, and we just wanted to be like them, and we just loved singing so much. So yeah, it was always me and my two sisters, Twin and Sophie, So Jazz and Sophie and the three of us we just determined because we had already started out making songs. Actually, we were signed in Germany when I was fifteen to a record label BMG, and we've had a lot of experience, you know, being in the music industry, just never in America. That sounded like such a dream so far away.

Yeah, and you were you were learning about how America through television and radio.

Oh yeah, like American just you know, R and B music in general wasn't made in Germany. So we were like, if we want to make that kind of music, we have to go to America. But that still sounded so like impossible. It was like, there's a lot of people in America, nobody does that.

Did a lot of people in Germany look like you? Because when I imagine Germany, I imagine, now this is my ignorance speaking, but I would imagine more white, and I absolutely grew up.

With mostly white, like around white people. Yeah, it was we were the outsiders. And that's also one reason why I never felt home there, never felt like I belonged there. I don't know if my sisters also felt it, but I can imagine.

I mean I just always felt like this is not where I belong.

Are you? Are you mixed or are you?

Yes?

My mom's white? Oh, your mom's white.

Dad is African Senegalese. Okay, Okay, So yeah, we were the different ones, you know, because we didn't.

Look like everybody else.

I mean, now, you know, times have changed, like twenty plus years later, like there is it's more multicultural in Germany in general, But when I was young and in school. There was maybe one other kid that was like had a black parent or something.

But when your dad left you were eight, You said, what was going on at the time?

What made him leave?

You know that just you know, he's an African African man and he he was just cheating on my mom obviously the whole time, and my mom was just not happy with him, and she stayed with him for way too long because of us, like so many women do because of the children.

You stay together. But he was not treating my mom good.

Like we experienced some stuff like where it's like, oh, you would never want to talk to your dad again, like you know, just physical you know, domestic abuse and.

Things like that, and we would witness it.

And I just remember one moment, especially where he hit my mom so hard that she fell on top of us.

I don't know, I think I was.

I was probably eight because it was around the time that she left, And from that moment on, I was just so scared of.

Him, just scared, scared, scared.

One of the crazy part is I was his favorite child, so he always wanted me next to him, especially during the phase where he felt like my mom is going to leave him. He was holding on to me always Amy. He called me Ami. You know, my name's Amina, but to him I was Ami Ami. He comes it with me, and it was like he wasn't like mean saying in the mean way. It was like I love you, I want you with me, like you know, things are bad

Know, Yeah, my mom was trying to leave.

Yeah, so hey ended up she ended up, Oh my god, I'm burning this. Ah it doesn't look burn No, it's not burned.

Okay, good for good.

See this this always takes a little longer when you have at the stove on. But yeah, and so then my mom ended up getting my dad out a year later. Took like almost a year, felt like eternity that he was still in the house refusing to leave.

But he was cheating though.

He was, Yeah he was.

And he was like telling my mom things like why are you worried about that? I always come back to you. Yeah you know yeah that men say it not every mine.

When you when you went to New York, how soon was it before or how soon after you moved to New York. Did you end up aligning with love and hip hop?

Ooh, way, way, way, way later.

So the first and my first fifteen years in New York were just you know, on the grind, trying to make it in music, me and my sisters.

You said, first fifteen years.

Yeah, or like at least let's say ten Okay, Yeah, I'm totally dripping ten years. So from two thousand and two to twenty twelve, me and my sisters were just like trying, you.

Know, always.

Making music together.

Got signed to diff GM Records in two thousand and five, two thousand and six, then you know, we got dropped from the label. Then we got signed again, just me and my twin.

What made them drop, you guys.

A lot of reasons.

This is ready by the way, you just need to send him in on it. But they actually we didn't get didn't get dropped from Gestion. It was like we asked to be released from the label because they were just holding us hostage.

Yeah, and you know.

That, okay, friend, not mess up here.

So we were just not Our album never came out, and we were signed.

We get signed the same year that Chris Neo Arehanna.

Yeah, I was gonna say that was the air that year.

When nobody knew who they were and of them, and we actually did a lot of showcases with them, with Neo, Rihanna and Chris and we did like small little radio tours throughout the nations and we.

Were all new artists. And then Black Butterfly was kind of the only group, our group that didn't really get that big break.

You know, they all blew up.

Yeah, had big but they were putting a lot into them because I remember at that time I owned a magazine and they were like pushing Neo pushing.

We felt that way, you know, aren't they They're forgetting about us, right, you know, they would probably disagree and say other things.

There's a lot of politics involved.

It was also.

Because we were signed to a joint venture label with Russell Simmons and La Reid involved, and everybody had different opinions on what type of group we should be. Russell Simmons wanted us to be more urban and hip hop, and La Reid wanted us to be a big pop group, and so then he kind of like let let Russell kind of decide what direction he would take us in. So we ended up putting out the song called bad

And what was your pockets looked like at the time, So you were you were playing on radio, but you're still I'm.

Telling you, I was a broker, being signed to a major label then being just on the grind by myself, and people always think, oh, he signed to a label, you know, and I mean you get an advance, but that maybe our advance at the time wasn't a lot and it lasted maybe six months, and then after that you still signed for two three more years.

Yeah, you know, not making money.

So we were broke a lot while being signed to major record labels.

Yeah, I think I heard Pink was like that, like at some point she went broken. She was pumping gas and they I think La Read ended up being like, no, we gotta pull her off the street. She was just like, well, you ain't give me money. I'm a survive exactly.

We were, you know, it wasn't the death Grim deal. But I remember after the Deaf Grim deal, we got signed to Jay Records. Me and my twin our oldest sister had left the group at this point, but we were signed at J Records, and every month we were like.

Who's going to make the call?

We always had to call our you know that we were signed to Projection Slash Management under Jay Records, So every month we would be like, who's gonna call and ask.

For the rent money? It always had to be one of us like and asked for the rent.

Yeah.

And then we ended up getting evicted too in Brooklyn, New York. We ended up getting.

Evictad So why was the deal built like that where they were just giving you a check for your rent?

They gave us a check in the beginning of when you signed the yeah record your minimum guarantee and then you get some money. It was I don't even remember the amount, but it wasn't a big advance.

I mean, now they took on a million dollar advances and things like that.

We never had that. Yeah.

So our advance, like I said, after like about six months maybe a year, ran out and we had nothing and we were yet we were signed, working on albums and flying out here to La to record with Tank and different people.

But you know, we were literally.

Signed for three years just recording and they never had seemed to have a plan to release her.

So then you guys got released. You're smart enough to get released. Now what were you working any side hustles while all this is going on or yeah.

So eventually, you know, we were like, Okay, we gotta do something. We gotta pay our bills. And you know, we were living in a small railroad.

Apartment in green Point, Brooklyn, very small three of us. It was me, my twin sister, and our one of our best friends that we grew up in Germany with Esther is her name, and she was kind of like our personal.

Want.

Yeah I don't turn it off. So she was like our personal manager whom made best friend. And so it was the three of us living there and that was the time when we always had to ask for.

The rent and we were signed.

It was just so crazy, and I just even remember one moment that sticks out that was so crazy because we would be around like Russell Simmons and jay Z and all the people like we would go to these major events, be next to the biggest you know, the biggest stars all the time, just in these one side of our world was that, and then we would come home and have nothing like and it was so just I don't even know what word I want to say.

They had a golden toilet.

And I just it's just like little things that you remember, right, So the golden toilet on one side, and then you come home and you don't have money to buy a toilet paper.

Yes, wow, yeah, that's uh. I remember when I was struggling. I would always have this thing. It'd be like, uh, you'd either have a car, or you'd have.

No gas money or something.

It was always like it was like you had the car, but you didn't have the gas money, or you had the gas buddy, but you didn't have the car. And I feel like that's kind of what you're saying. You're like, I couldn't even afford the toilet paper. So what did you guys do to survive those types? Did you guys take out jobs?

I ended up taking a job.

And then you know, at that point we had already been signed again for three years and nothing was happening. We were like, okay, we were learning that being signed really doesn't mean any day that you have money or that you're going to make it.

It doesn't.

It just means that somebody decided to maybe even sign you as a.

Text writer whatever in the case.

Like, you know, you were just signed and.

You are put to work.

But at the same time, I found myself so much just working on myself. That's why, you know, I'm thankful for it going that way, because it made me just work on myself more. But yeah, we were broke and I ended up going on Craigslist and finding a job as a singer. I was determined to not find a job like a regular job or something I hate. I wanted to do something I love. I would go on Craigslist, like look for singer jobs, okay, And then so I ended up finding the job that I then did for

It was like almost like.

It was like school for me in a way, because I learned being on stage. You know, all these years being signed, we didn't perform much.

We didn't really guys are just in the studio. We were Yeah, and when you were in the room.

With these celebrities like Russell and Jay, did you how were you able? Were you able to even maximize or did you feel like imposter syndrome where like maybe you didn't belong so you were just happy to be in the room.

I mean we were always happy to Like you know, once you've come into a big deaf DYM office and you see your own picture big, like on the biggest wall inside there, like on the twenty eighth floor.

I remember we coming up there and it's us like everybody believed.

It seemed like everybody believed that Black Butterfly was going to be the next, you know, big thing, and then it just doesn't happen that way. Everybody's looking at like

And I feel like a lot of artists.

That Neil expressed that if you ever watched his interview, I mean this first record, Yeah, yeah.

It was like they tell you what to do, if you have anything to say against it, you're hard to deal with.

You don't listen.

And we tried to just be quiet and just do what they say. But yet everyone was telling us to do something different. So this person was saying, just just just do what you're being asked to do, just you know, and then the next person would say, like jay Z in this moment, he was like, you gotta be more like Kanye and stand up for what you want. You can't put anything out there that you don't believe in. I loved it because I felt that I was like, yeah, but how we supposed to do that?

We know what year was this, Kanye? But Kanye was it out? You well, he was out.

He was just wait, wait, Kanye, don't start to drop. He's dropped in two thousand.

He was already.

I mean, people knew of him, but he wasn't Like.

When did the college drop out come out? I don't remember, but so you're he was like, be like, be very vocal about what you want. But it's interested that Jay would say that I have a huge jay Z fan.

There's a huge jay Z paint again by lobby.

But I will say this, it's easier for a man, in my opinion, you could correct me to speak up in this male dominated industry than a woman. Because if you would have came in that room and said, yeah, Jay, I'm the shakes. If you ain't nothing, what would what do you think they would have said? And I'm not gonna say Jay because Jay's you know, my favorite, But I'm just saying, like, in your position, did you feel like as a woman you could be like yay.

No.

That's why I felt like it was so contradicting because I loved what he was saying. I was like, yeah, I want to be more like that, but they're not letting us.

Like if we do that, then we're being called.

This and that, and like it was like a heart It was totally. It was stressful being fine. You always try to please everyone else, and especially.

When you're young, because you're like, I don't want to blow this. I'm like that with the black effects. Sometimes I'm like, I don't want to mess up, and then all of a sudden they realize I'm not that great yep or whatever. But I'm just gonna I want to try this past before.

I get cold, exactly. You know, my first it might need sugar on top. I put sugar on top. Let me see if I put enough sugar, it's probably not sweet.

There's enough sugar in it.

Mm hmm.

Really you want a sweeter you know where did you syrup? You can?

I'm not I used to eat it just like this, more cinnamon and sugar, like just sprinkle some on top and it's like, you know, the only difference really is because you can use syrup, is that it's not fluffy and it's more like a crape.

I'm not a huge fan of grapes. Boom. If I choose between this and a crape, I would choose this.

Mm.

Yeah, this is Philly. It's missing sugar, but mmm.

I normally don't like sweet suff but this has to be a little sweeter.

Well the sugar and chocolate. Yeah, I think it's fine with just sugar. Yeah. This is not considered vegan right.

Now because it you know, it has milk egg.

It's probably the opposite of vegan.

I'll be honest. This is it's not bad. Yeah, this is not bad.

This is almost like it reminds me of like corn meal. But it's a pancake, doesn't it.

In contrast with the apples and olds, it's like this is more fillings.

Eat these together.

Yeah, I would make both of it like most like a lot of days. This would be my breakfast like this that both together, we can eat breakfast together.

Just add a little add a little bacon, We're good.

Ah yeah, yeah.

I've never been a big you know, meat for breakfast either, but.

I feel like it just needs like something salty, salty on that.

No, like oh, apple, the pancake like you just right, No, you're right.

You can definitely have like sausage with it or something, and if you wanted to, you could put the apples and on top of this.

Yep, that would be I think that's that would be how I do it.

Well.

I used to always eat this also with apple sauce. That's also good. That's how it. Yeah, this is great.

It's feeling affordable, and I liked that most of the ingredients are typically in your house.

That's what made me start eating it so much because we always had flour.

How hard was it for you to come up with a dish for today's show? Not so hard.

It just this stuck out because I remember the times, you know, the times in Brooklyn when we were trying to live on a budget and not having much money, and then growing up in Germany and my mom always making it for us, so it stuck out.

It's stuck out. And you know what's crazy? This recipes in my I have a cookbook.

And this is in it.

Oh, speaking of cookbooks, this will be added to the Eating Well Broke Cookbook as your dish. This will be so it will be in your cookbook, but we are going to be adding it as your signature disc along with a bunch of other dishes that people a when you're broke. I should probably tell you that sooner, but hopefully you'll be okay with it being in the book.

So yeah, I'm okay with it now.

Now that you've fed me amazingly well on budget, after experiencing your record label fiascos in your music industry, you start working at this club. Yes, this is where you meet your future ex husband.

Yes, I don't know.

Yeah, yeah, And so tell me is that kind of where where did love and hip hop and Peter Gunns come and change the traje?

Yeah?

You know, first of all, like I was so blooming at the time because I didn't realize how unhappy I really was in these record deals. That one I was actually doing what I love, which is singing on a stage every single night, like and making money.

That it was.

Really like making me, giving me so much excitement just every day, like going to work.

I loved it.

I loved working there and singing, and I was around the greatest musicians like you could imagine. And apparently someone named Peter Guns also loved that scene, that live music scene in New York. He would just be there and hang out every night, and everybody knew who he was. And I just remember he was always standing by the entrance of the club with shades on, and I would just be like, why you're wearing shades in this dark club?

I was with him for like a year and a half.

He was also friends with Peter Guns, and we were all just a big family and everybody knew, you know, everybody was like friends with everybody, and it was like kind of organically started like hanging out with Peter in a group.

Yeah.

Like so then when I broke up with my then boyfriend, Peter had already kind of been a friend, yeah along, you know, we had hung out a bunch of times, but I never looked at him like I like him.

Yeah oh like.

That's that's why it was so weird that it happened the way it did, because I I would in the beginning of the first two years, I would look at Peter like yeah, yeah, okay, Like first of all, he always got different women like Superwoman, like not my not my thing. But then you know, as I get to know him, we just became really cool friends. And that's what I

Up Actually how did that happen? You guys?

So yeah, y'all fell in love and then how did love and hip hop end up in that?

You know what?

It was a timing thing.

Me and Peter probably had like dated for about almost six months, and one of his friends was Rich Dollars, who already was on Love and Hip Hop. So me and Peter would always hang out and do fun stuff. We would go to the parks and we would go to the movies and just do fun things. And one day he was like, let's go buy this set my boys filming. So we went by the set, like you know, they were filming love and hip Hop and he was just doing a kind of a cameo sitting in at dinner.

Two The producers were like, the next day, I got a call.

But wait, so you guys were dating a couple months and you guys got married.

We got married after dating for like six months.

So we started dating summer of twenty twelve. We get married February twenty thirteen.

But he said he has a wife and a girlfriend. But did you know he had a girlfriend.

I knew that he had Tara, the mother of his sons, that he still he was still living with.

Oh, he was still living with He was well married.

He was still living with Tara, but he said, you know, they're not together.

So so he would sleep at her house, but be like.

At my house every night.

So he slept me every night with me, maybe one night out of the week, he wouldn't so what he spend his days with her? He would during the day probably be with yeah, with her and then and then he.

Was with me every night, okay, and then and then. But so you can and I.

Knew at this point, you know, he didn't break up with her yet. That's why I wanted to do love and hip Hop because I knew if we do love a hip hop, she will finally know what she needs to know.

Oh, so she didn't know about you. No, that's the fucked up part.

She didn't know about you, because yeah, but why did he ever tell you why he proposed to you even though he had a girlfriend?

No, you know, the way we got married, I have to say that because it's it's big. The way we got married was more like out of desperation, because.

You know, I always say.

This, like we had a real relationship, we were really in love. We got married because of love. But we got married for a reason, and that is because Peter didn't want me to go back to Germany. Okay, so if it wasn't for that, we would have never gotten married.

Got it, got it? So he wanted it.

Like when people say, oh, fake marriage, you just married for the fav that's not true because we were actually dating for real, in love, you know, like we were not faking a relationship for me to get Obviously obviously a lot of people do that.

My brother did that.

Yeah, he didn't want me to have to go back to Germany. I was stressed out, and he was like, I want you here, I want to be with you. You know, I would just marry you.

That was it.

Okay, that's how it went.

So then, so then is your first time meeting terror on Love and Hip Hop? Yeah?

No, no, no, no, no, no, she's gonna hate me if I say this wrong.

No.

I met her at the nightclub that I'm peter ed.

However, I didn't know that was his main girlfriend that has been with him for thirteen years.

Oh wow, So are you guys good friends now?

And we are now years later now we finally had a place where we talked to each other. We like, yeah, I can say I can say the word friend now. It took a long time, but we were friends.

When you look back at that whole situation, do you think that. Do you have any regrets on however they worked out or if they're, if they're if if they're, if you could.

Go back, what would you change?

Even though I wasn't the responsible one, I have the regret that we went into doing Love and Hip Hop without tyr or knowing anything. You know, that was definitely wrong, even though Peter is the one that should have made sure he doesn't drag her on a show, and you know, without knowing what, you know, what was really going on.

The producers didn't even prep her for it.

They loved it. They loved that she didn't know. Oh my god, you know, they don't care about nothing.

Now, were you guys making good money at the time during that show.

The first season? No, not at all.

It was more like I was, you know, honestly, I had two reasons for going on Love and hip Hop. The main reason was, Okay, finally people are going to see me as the artist. You know, Love and hip Hop is about music. I can finally show case who I am. I can play my instruments and millions of people going to see me. That was my number one reason.

Number two was I was in this situation that wasn't good.

It wasn't comfortable.

I needed you know, Peter was telling me so many lies, constantly saying, Oh, I'm gonna tell her, I'm going to tell her.

I knew if we did the show, it was finally going to come out, and.

That's all I wanted.

I just wanted him to, you know, tell her what he did and without loving if we would have never did Love and Hip Hop.

I don't think you would have ever told Tara anything. There is himy War is still together?

No, I know from what I know, but I can't say, okay, but are you still with him? No?

Oh my god, no, No, we divorced.

Were you know?

We not at all?

Now, you guys were married for how long? Man together?

Three years?

Married for probably six because the divorce took like three years. But I moved from New York in twenty sixteen, and since then, you know, we were done. Like I probably was still hooked on him for a little bit of time. It took me a long time to get over him.

Long.

Well, you guys had kids together.

We had it, yeah, and I was pregnant when I left two.

Yes, oh you you left at that time because I remember the last time I had seen U on TV. You had like Tar had said she was pregnant. I don't even remember we were pregnant the same time.

So did she end up having hers? Yeah, So you guys have kids that are.

Like same age seven Gunner is seven and Bronx and seven, my daughter and her son.

And then the kids. Now you guys are friends, so your kids all, oh.

Yeah, there they love each other.

And I'm so happy we were able to come to like a place like where we don't blame each other.

Like, you know, she may still feel some way.

About what happened back then, but we have like kind of forgiven each other and we kind of more relate to one another because we were both sold this. You know, he was kind of like doing the same thing to both of us.

So yeah, I felt like at some point it was like, even though he was the causer of the mayhem, he kind of sat back and watched you guys.

Yeah, he kind of a part of him enjoyed.

I think that, Yeah, I don't know enjoyed, but I know that he was helpless.

He did not know what to do.

He had made this big mess and it was fucked up and it was just bad, and it seemed like the world hated him for it, and he just didn't know how to make it right.

It wasn't no making it right. He couldn't make it right.

Now, were you two the only one in the triangle?

Do you know?

Or were there other women?

I know, I'm I would almost bet on my kids.

It was Yeah, there was definitely others, but we were the main.

We were the main of the Yeah.

You know, it displayed on the show and everything, But he definitely had other you.

Know, while he was living with me, we were living in Youngers in New York.

I had just had a baby. Obviously he was still going between me and Tara. He also had others in the background. I know because I found out some things.

So yeah, it wasn't just us.

But but I noticed, You're like, he was living with you or he was living with Tara?

Did he was he?

Were you guys always the breadwinners or did he bread winding too?

You know?

Once we started did Love and Hip Hop for multiple seasons, we were all kind of in the same boat. Like it started being like it just was one of the biggest storylines ever. It was, and at the time it was also the ratings were crazy because of us and like definitely, if you talked love and hip hop New York, you know, stands out is like what stands out is obviously Cardi b And then like our stuff. Yeah, like at least as far as triangles and love like messiness goes.

Too where he could? You know, he is a giver.

He gives, He lives for his kids as far as like you know, when he got it, his kids are good. Yeah, but because he has ten children, he's not always in the best position to like take care of everything. And even at the time where he was living with me, he was also having to help Tower with you know, with whatever rent and all that bills, and he was not able to cover everything for everybody. So he was doing it as much as he could.

But so now as a woman being a single mom providing, now the whole world knows you, what are you thinking? Like, Like how are you healing and taking care of yourself? Because I feel like if I was in your shoes. There would be so many conflicting emotions from you know, outside opinions to how I see myself, how I ended up in this position. You know, even you and Tara. Thankfully, I'm glad to hear that you guys have this bomber.

Yeah, that's exactly what it is. I wish more.

Women kind of like, you know, like when my husband cheated on me, I wish the side chicks would just like at least reach out. Yeah, and not in not in a vulgar way, but just reach out. And you're like, look, you know this, dude, Oh boy, it's telling me this. You know, we do have this type of relationship. Do

But a part of me is like, yo, pro sweet woman to woman like.

No, absolutely, and I which is so crazy to say, I was the side chick, but it was also the white Yeah, so it was so weird the position I was in. And I just remember I always wanted to do that and he would always somehow stop me. Yeah, you know until that scene in Love and Hip of where I was the one that brought her the news, like I because he just wouldn't do it, and he kept saying, don't worry, i'll do it, I'll do it,

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.

Yeah, he was, especially because we were filming the show.

It was on camera, and it was it was just he was like, I wanted to tell her in private.

Yeah, but you didn't. Yeah, you never did. You never found the time.

Well after Loving Hip Hop taped and you moved to La, all right, new beginning life started.

What was your pockets looking like?

Fine?

It was good enough for me to have to worry about. Like I was able to get me an apartment, like a nice apartment. I had my car, I had everything I needed. I was pregnant, I had my one year old, and I wasn't concerned about.

Oh my God, I got it.

You know, I gotta make money because I would have been good for for some time, like I was good for about probably it a year before I had to think about a year.

Yeah, now it's yeah, you.

Know what a one year old like when I had my baby, Like a year to me of being good is still like freak out able, I think, especially because if you don't have someone to call and be like, yo, can you cover my rent?

No?

Absolutely, it is still freaking out.

And then if you're pregnant, but you were also still in love too.

Right, Yeah, I was.

Absolutely it was hard, so it was probably one of the heart it was. I always say it's the hardest thing I ever had to do is leave that situation alone and leave that man alone and really really let it go.

Took two years.

And the thing is, like you said, it is freakoutable if you think about it. Okay, I have a year, but then I don't know what's next.

And where was your money from love and hip hop? Yeah? Okay.

The only reason that I wasn't freaking out it's because my whole life has been that way. You know, I was used to it. I never knew I was never stable. My whole life has been a whole grind, like trying to figure it out. And I have to say even now, you know, I'm not ashamed to say, like you still

To live the life that I feel like I So how do you survive?

Like?

Work wise?

Are you?

You know, I have a couple of different things, like a few different things that I'm also doing some fitness, like I'm studying to the yoga instructor. I'm very passionate about that about yoga. And I have my books. I still have my music, which I do make money with. It's just not the amount that I would like. Yeah, of course, but I make money with my music, you know, performances, gigging. I'm a musician, so I you know, I gig here and there.

And you get paid to do appearances still or not.

I get paid to do appearances, not as much as it was when when we were on Love and obviously you get booked all the time when you're on TV, and now it's been years since I was on TV, and it's like you don't get booked as much. So it's still like I'm still grinding out here, you know what.

Like as a single mom, how were you able to handle it? I guess with the two young the babies being younger because now they're older, But like, were you crying at all?

Or were you you know, the first two years of moving to La having a newborn and a one year old two year old?

Yeah, I was crying.

All the time, Like where was this when she was in Germany? She had moved back to Germany way.

So you were really on her.

Oh yeah, I was all by myself.

And even looking back, it's like wow, I look at it from the outside and it's more of a wow factor than when you were in it. When I was in it, it was like, it's just what it is. I you know, I took it day by day, and I just know that I was mostly heartbroken more than feeling like like defeated by life. Like it was more like heartbreak that I really had to heal from. Like I said, it took me two years once I healed.

From a heartbreak. I really wasn't.

I felt so powerful and like I can do anything and so good about life again and all those things.

Did you ever date again?

Yeah, I'm currently in a relationship.

Is it a health Is it healthy now? Yeah?

It's I'm learning so much because I don't have, you know, the issues that I've had in the past with men, which always kind of related to other women. Yeah, cheating, lies, I don't have that issue. It's so relaxed with that that that I'm learning that there's other issues that you can have in relationships, you know, Like I never knew that.

I always thought all I want is that someone.

Who doesn't lie and cheat, and I'm the only one I have that now.

But it's still not perfect.

Yeah, but it's it's different and it's it's so many good things that I'm so thankful for that I never believed that it's possible because I hate.

Thought, oh man, cheat and all men do this well.

And yeah, now when I look at men, I look at them differently. I'm like, Okay, Like, especially today's age, I think guys are like more like if a girl doesn't sleep with them on the within date three or whatever, like stub bars, and I'm like, well, did we mess up as when the women?

Are we not setting enough boundaries? Or like why the bar?

I feel like men it should have been women are the pickers or what have you? And we we have so much more power than I even knew we had. I didn't know women were so powerful till I had a kid.

But yeah, that's the same way I feel.

Like I would like I hate when I hear men say I would die for my kid.

I'm like, well, well, why don't you try living for your kids.

Why don't you try like putting down the alcohol, putting down the bitches, and like actually living for your kid. I can't stand when a dude will say I would die for my murder for my kid. We'll go out there and get a job.

For your kid.

I agree with you.

You know what I'm saying because I promise you, Amina, if your back was against the wall and you love singing and you love all these things, and you had to go work at Costco to put some food in your kid's mouth, I guarantee you you'll be saying paper plastic. It's same for me. But we don't have to go out there and say I would die for my kid. No, because every day we wake up, we make a constant choice to live, even on a day that you think about quitting on life, Like you know, heartbreak to me

The truth and on it from the very beginning.

It's good.

It's good to inside too, because you know, sometimes we look at the side chick like, well, why are you in the dark so much? But I remember when I found out about my husband's side chick. She was like in the closet for like years with him, and they were like going back and forth on text, and I was just like, the fuck are you in the closet in the years for.

This fool, Like you know what I'm saying.

No, I totally approach it differently too, Like because of that, you know, I know what it's.

Like to be be like hidden.

It's one of my requirements now anyone to date, Like my boyfriend now knows we've been through that. Like I like I one of my requirements now is like I have to be posted on social media.

Yeah, yeh, it's crazy.

Some women like, nah, you know that's going to destroy the relationship. You got to you know, keep stuff private. No, it's a requirement for me if you are exclusively dating me and we are in a serious relationship, that you showed me off, display me, you know, to the world.

Well, it's also like it'll I say, women, if we're in a relationship, we got we have the same way. The guy has to feel like the king. The woman has to feel like a queen period period, point blank.

You know.

But I have seen like my husband was posting pictures and videos of me like every day, and the side chicks would be like in the DMS, like, oh, you celebrated your one year wedding anniversary. Can we meet up and I hook up with you and be like, oh, these chicks don't care.

They're like, I don't care if you're married or not.

Yeah, I'm aware. Like when I say like I need to be displayed, it's like.

And that's for you to queen, not.

Because it's gonna stop him from you know, I know that men can do what they want no matter how much pictures of me are on his basis.

Yeah, I feel like it's it's a selfish decision.

I I'm in a very toxic situation now, but I will say that like I'm taking my time through it, and like being able to meet with other single moms or meeting becoming a mom has brought me more closer to I feel like to women, more respect towards women I don't think I ever had before.

But I also look.

At men like way different, Like the way the game is played now is not you know.

And it's I have to say.

Me and my current boyfriend, he complains about it because he's like, I don't.

Deserve that, you know, because I do.

Also he's like, your whole view of men is is different because of your past, not me.

But then I say to him like, yeah, but.

You are men.

Yeah, but I'm not damn like we have this all the time.

It's like he thinks it's unfair because I've come out of this such a different person, stronger. I don't allow nothing, like I don't allow any kind of you know.

I'm so much more.

My standards are different, Like my boundaries are set and I am just not to be played with now, which I love for me.

I love that I've become this way. I feel better this way.

When you see like a red flag. So I used to see a.

Red flag pointed out to my girlfriend in the beginning of whenever I dated, Oh man, I saw that as a red flag, and I would ignore it. I saw a post somewhere somewhere something said, when you see a red flag and you ignore it, that is the same red flag that you will leave in the end for Yeah, it's true. So now I'm like, red flag, yeah, but you know me too.

But I then think about it and like realize that. I mean, red flags, of course are different from like issues, but it's never gonna It's never perfect.

Yeah, I've never seen a perfect matter of fact, I know relationships that look perfect from the.

Outside and I'm like, they're not happy.

So I think that's what slowed down my process of leaving my husband is like whether I can deal with everything.

But right now what I am learning on right now? Married or not?

I still consider myself single because I don't have a counterpart that respects me or enough.

But what I will say is I need to focus on my own.

Happiness absolutely and just stay in that. What does my happiness look like with or without somebody there, and whether I'm married or not, That's where my head's at, like, and I think what I can learn from men are is that they focus on their needs. Yeah. Women, it's like we're designed to put the mask on the person next to us before ourselves. Now, I'm like, you know what, Like when it comes to my child who is helpless, you cannot wipe her butt or feed herself, she is

How is that hard?

It is very hard because you know they always come first, like the kids, like my girls, they come first, like you just said, like even before.

Me nothing else.

Though I am also at a place which none of my past relationships were like this, where I actually do put me first now, even within the relationship, which sometimes causes some you know, it just also caused some because they call yourselfish. You know, I've been called selfish a lot since I've gotten out of this.

If you learn from men, that's what they're doing.

Selfish, it's not selfish if it's you know, if you if it's.

It's necessary sometimes yeah, you know, to put yourself first doesn't mean you're selfish.

And I had to just have to stick by that even in my current relationship, Like I always have to make sure that I'm I'm good and I put myself first, doesn't matter what anybody thinks.

Unfortunately, I'm still still growing that past that mountain. I'm thirty nine. I'm like almost there. I feel like once I turned forty.

It's a rat. I'm just saying about the same dude.

We're in the valley. We could do a well. My baby's young, she's only well she's too but she I think she's a teenager. Really, you know, I.

Have almost teenager. She's nine. My daughter is nine.

Now.

I saw eleven year old that looked like a teenager the other day. I thought she was sixty Like boobs is.

I'm like, I didn't even have boobs.

I was like eight seventeen or something else. I know, I don't know, Like, uh, they're putting hormones in the food. Is your daughter hasn't hippibrity era?

No, but she acts like a teenager for sure. Yeah, like her look why she probably looks her age, but no, she acts.

I think mine just acts. I'm I haven't. I had never been around a baby. I haven't arrived very late. But I will say, like, like the more she like sings her alphabet's, her her numbers or something, I'm like, like what happened? Like she wasn't even talking a couple of months. That's everybody's saying. And I kind of hate the cleanness. But then my friends are like, you're gonna miss that shit true, and I'm like, like I haven't.

I have like we make promises me and my daughters like promise me that because we like to be physical and cuddle, and that's how I want each other so much.

I think it's so important.

I always say that on social media, like give your kids physical love, hug them, you know, so I do that a lot with mine and I always have like made this promise with them, Please promise me that you will still let me do this when you're sixteen eighteen.

And they promised so far, but I know it's they're sixteen, they'll be like, look you get one a week.

One hug. Okay, Oh my god, I'm scared.

Yet everyone on everybody I've met has said like, at some point she's not gonna want to be around you. So as of like the last week, I will say, like, now, I just enjoy it. I do still sleep with her. Some people are against her or whatever. I'm like, there's some night special to make me sleep in her room.

Yeah, I'll sleeping girls sometimes they're on the weekends.

They still sleep with me every like Saturday, probably Friday.

Now, how often do you switch it off with Peter? Oh, so you're one hundred percent?

Yeah?

Does he ever see the kids?

He hates California, La. Specifically, he does not like to come here. He is still bitter and mad about the fact that I moved here.

He's like, I hate coming in. Why did you have to move so far away?

Taking my kids away from me? So he kind of blaming me that he can't see him as much.

But I'm like, yo, like case a point, Like I said before, I'm sure he's gonna be the first to be like, I'll die for my kids. Oh, you're getting on a flight to go see your kids. And I'm not trying to bash him, no, but it's like, if the rolls were flipped and he moved, would you not make the time to figure it out? I don't care if eight of those kids are on the East Coast. It's not your problem, dude. You made that decision on

Is he at least helping financially or no?

Way? Can I still say?

You know he's he's just I don't know what word I can put on him, but like I know that he he's like you said, like he's he would do anything for his kids.

He's just not always in the position.

Do you think that's it or do you think he's maybe I know.

That's it, okay, because yeah, he gives when he can. It's just not what it should be.

Yeah, but you're doing it so you're you're the mom and the dad. Yeah yeah, all right, Well you know what, more props to you? I trust me, I'll married and I'm the mom and the dad pretty much, so it was never.

Any different from me.

And you know, honestly, I also didn't grow up with that mindset, Like I mean, my mom was a single moment, it was normal. It wasn't like the man is supposed to provide, and like I didn't grow up thinking that, even because I was.

Never taught that.

Like my mom always made us feel like if you ever have kids, they're your kids.

That's that's all I knew.

So I knew by the moment I was pregnant, I was like, I'm gonna have kids, not we Oh okay, you know, so for me, maybe that's wrong to think that way, but to me, it was always like I'm gonna have to take care of these kids.

I came from two parent household, and I think that's where me and my husband always argue. He'll be like I came from a single parent. I come from a two parent But I was very strict, like, look, if we're gonna do this, were gonna do together. But then I always hear the Tupac versu in my head, Mama's baby, papa's maybe is.

It Tupac or was it Jay, I forgot No, I think it's Jay.

I think it's Jay, but anyways, fact check me, but no, that's Jay. How dare I discuspect anyways?

Uh?

Yeah, Like.

Now I realize it's mama's baby. No matter what, I'm your rid or die, I'm your best friend, I'm your soldier, and I absolutely.

Yeah. You ain't gotta tell them, you can just showed them.

But thank you so much for coming on this show and blessing me with a great meal and being extremely transparent. Where can people keep up with you? And like what is going on? Like what projects do you have going on? And you just head directly to this one.

Yes, So I just released the album this year. It's my first ever. I mean, it's my fourth full album as an independent artist. So it's crazy to think I've put out albums independently but never with a label, even though I was signed multiple times.

And so the album is called four point zero.

And produced by me exclusively. And yeah, besides that, you know, check out my books. I have my Dishes and More spelled whether I am I Dishes and More available on Amazon, and then I also have The Other Woman if you are more interested in my story because it talks about everything kind of we talked about today and then you know, being in a public eye with my relationship, so the other woman and my dishes and more.

And yeah, I have fitness.

Events coming, you know, Like I said, I'm into fitness and yoga and all that stuff. Me and my boyfriend actually having our first event coming up next month, Fit for Life.

So you know, I do all the things that I love.

I like to I just like to do things that I love and not fall into the trap of oh I have to do this because you.

Know I love that.

Now you self published your books, yes, well, the first one was published by a publishing company, Thirteenth and Joan that came out and the U I moved to California in twenty sixteen.

And I always.

Say, anybody that watched me on the show and has an opinion of me, read the book, and.

Then you can say I want to read it. Yeah, I should have brought you one forgot, but yeah, the other woman and yet that's it.

Like just follow me on social media at Amina Butterfly with two d's and yeah.

Thank you so much. Just so you guys know, behind the scenes, I've met Amina before. I think I may have said it earlier. Super sweet, super easy to talk to from the damn met you. So when I think your publicists that I have what was actually through Yeah, ok, yeah, I didn't realize until today. And so that's so full circle. She has seen I had seen your name on the list, and I said, oh no, I definitely want to have a mina on the show for sure.

But it's nice to come full circle.

But if you're ever bored in the valley on the weekend, I'll be doing nothing.

I'll be honest. Yeah, let's do something. I'll just be with the kids.

Me too, my daughter.

I'm always trying to find something cool. I heard Irvines doing like this cool pumpkin patch and they have like a children's museum right close to it, but they have like farm animals and all this. So I'm gonna do like a two a j adventure and then another mom hack I learned, which anyone listening, this is a cool hack. I got in someone's friends and family for the hotels. Yeah, and I tell people if you especially if you're follow

Yeah.

So now if I go to San Diego or Irvine and I don't want to drive back, I'll just book a hotel. It'll be like at the Hilton and the Marriotte for like one hundred bucks.

Wow.

Okay, so that's a cool mom hack right, amazing. And so now when I travel, I don't have to worry about hotel accommodations because I could stay in a good hotel for half the price.

And you mean you have to do your research and play around in the app.

But like I always tell people, like, don't just think about making money, but think about how you can save money.

So if you want feel it.

If I see you're on your social that you post do you work at any of the hotels or the airlines? Is another one? Post like do you work for the airlines? D im me, do you work for the hotels? Because all they have to do is you add your information and then you're good to go. And they just extended that discount to you.

Wow.

And so now I literally travel wherever I want because I know that the hotels aren't gonna you know, if I want to go to San Diego, I don't have to worry about driving it back, you know, right, So staycations are a lot easy there.

Ago, I'm telling you take my advice.

And then if you worst case scenario, if it's something local, you could just hit me. I'll sign you into the hotel. But I've hoked up plenty of my friends. But I my little brother just did it recently. He got the same Hilton.

He's like, dude, it's so plush, and.

It's just about reaching out to your network and saying, hey, you aren't here, can you extend your discout?

So mom hack of the day. Guys, anyways, thank you.

Check us out on Eating while Broke, check out Amina's books or music online and support Yes all right.

Piece out.

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