Weddings Then and Now

Hi, welcome back to Eat Your Crest Podcast. I'm Jisoo. And I'm Crystal.

Last year we were really busy and actually one of the big reasons why we were so busy is because for some reason like seven of our friends decided to get married. So we were kind of going all over the world attending weddings. So we thought that now that we're older, it would be fun to do a look back and reflect on how we view weddings now versus our previous episode, which I think we did three or four years ago now.

Yeah, I think we did those episodes in 2023 and already over two and a half years has passed. It's so funny to think back because at that time not a lot of our friends were getting married. It was maybe like one or two people we knew that were starting to get married. I remember talking to a family friend of mine who was older. And she was like, Oh yeah, like all my PTO is tied up this year. I'm attending like six weddings and I'm wedding party for two of them.

And I remember being so jealous and I told her, I was like, oh my God, that sounds so fun and exciting. I'm so jealous. And she was just like, you just wait. She was two years older. And she was like, just wait two more years.

you'll see everything that comes with having to attend a wedding, whether it's financial or PTO, even just time and consideration that it takes to going and attending someone's wedding or being a part of a wedding party. And Yeah, I feel like now in twenty twenty six I understand her. Oh my god, yeah, you've had a really busy year. Actually, it even leaked into this year, a good portion of this year.

I think you also had a crazy year too. You specifically went to a lot of destination weddings, which in itself comes with a whole different set of rules and financial obligations. But what do you think has changed for you in terms of wedding perception in the last three years?

I think maybe my goals have changed. In the past I had when we were still young, pre-30. A big draw to weddings is seeing all your friends, having an open bar and getting drunk. But now sometimes it's like I need to survive. So it's not necessarily like, oh my God, let's throw back as many drinks as we can. It's more like, all right, let's pace ourselves and have a good time.

That's a good point. And I think after parties for weddings are also common. So then the pacing becomes even more important. Not only do we have to survive this wedding, but we also have to get to a second location and survive that as well. So true. 10 minutes of arriving at the wedding, the first question I ask whoever's with me is, are we trying to leave early tonight? Or are we staying for everything? Right. Do you think if you're a part of the wedding party you are obligated to stay later?

Honestly, yes. I think if I were part of the wedding party Especially if it's a smaller wedding party, I would definitely stay for every single thing. I would be dragging my lifeless body to the final, you know, the final destination. Totally. Yeah, I feel like when you're at a wedding party, there's so many unspoken jobs that you have to do. Of course you have to like buy the coordinated outfit and stand up there and look nice.

say hi to people as they come in, maybe guide them around the different activity tables and whatnot. But the most important thing is to like keep the dance floor alive, keep the party hype and make sure the after party is still fun. It takes a lot of energy. I do feel like once you reach the after party though, it's maybe a sigh of relief because you're like, oh my god, we made it. Yeah. And then usually the after party is much more chill. Everyone is much more relaxed.

loose and not everyone makes it right to the after party. So it's way more casual. Usually people have changed as well. So there's less of a maybe duty at the after party.

Damn, I feel like one of my favorite things about going to a wedding after party is talking to the bride and the groom'cause It depends on the wedding and I think how big the wedding is, but sometimes it can be difficult to like get a chance to chat with them for more than two minutes at a time.

going up to the bride and groom at afters and hearing their side of the story, their perspective on how the wedding night went, or if they did a first dance, like, oh, I fucked up on this, or, you know, I teared up when the bride walked in. Like hearing those kinds of small Detailed stories is so fun.

Oh my God, I totally agree. And even other people in the wedding party, sometimes you if you're not part of that group, then you might not even see them that much either during the wedding. So it is Such an opportune time to finally talk to everyone who you didn't see during the wedding. Right. The most important people. Ooh, I think also at wedding afters there's always gossip. Oh yeah. Okay, actually I just realized wedding afters is basically like backstage after a concert.

You have artist pass. So true. I think there's actually a pretty big variety of wedding gossip. Okay, I have three things that come to mind. One is Oftentimes at weddings you might be attending the wedding of someone who you've known for a very long time. And that means you know their old time friends too. You might not have seen all of them recently. So then when you see someone you haven't seen in a long time.

You might be like, whoa, this person looks different or oh I just met their new partner or have new news that you found out about that person. That in itself could be a little bit of gossip. The other thing is when someone gets a little bit too drunk. Ha ha ha. At the wedding. And it's not always they're being super sloppy and crazy and disruptive, but sometimes it's like

small stories you hear of like, oh, you know, I went to the bathroom, this person was throwing up, or like, oh, I saw this person having a weird conversation with this other person. And small, funny stories like that I think come up. The third bit of gossip is Yeah. Oh, wait, actually I have not seen slash heard of people hooking up at a wedding yet. I mean there's a possibility that I just don't know and there might have been some. Yeah.

But I also feel like some of these weddings, by the end, it's like you're tired. Who who's trying to still hook up? You know what I think it is actually? Right now we have a lot of people who are attending weddings in relationships. I think there's probably it's like eighty-five percent in relationships, slash married, slash engaged. To like fifteen percent single. True. Yeah, it's a majority of like taken people. Mm-hmm. And I probably don't know the single people, I'm gonna be honest.

Well, you know, there's a different set of gossip that comes with taken people. Sometimes a couple can be fighting or they might not be talking or like joking as much. So that comes with a little bit of, ooh, like I'm curious what's happening over there. Yeah, a lot can happen at a wedding.

Have you heard any like crazy news from weddings? I think the craziest thing that I've seen at a wedding was someone wore white. And I think sometimes people will wear a slightly white background dress with like floral pattern or maybe cream colored satin dress that in certain lighting might look a little pale or something. And those are things that I can find excusable. Mm-hmm.

It's a little close for comfort, but I can understand how you would think that's okay. But I went to a wedding recently and this girl wore a white mini dress. And it was bright white, floral, and then had like a very obviously bridal after-party dress style. Like that's what it looked like to me. Like I could see this dress in like a wedding catalog, you know? And I was like, whoa, this is crazy. It was like the first time I've seen something like that happen.

Dang. That is pretty alarming, right? I don't think anything came of it. This wedding specifically, I was actually in the wedding party. Me and the maid of honor saw it at the same time and we were like, Oh, should we do something?'Cause there's always those TikToks that's like, oh, wedding party.

If you see a girl wearing white, always go and like throw a glass of wine on it so that she has to like change or whatever. And I was just like, okay, that seems a little excessive. Like no one's gonna actually do that in real life, you know? So nothing came of it, but in the morning after the wedding, I saw her at the hotel breakfast area and I was giving her the stink eye. I mean now I'm just wondering like what even is the proper protocol? What if that's the only trust they have?

Exactly. And this person was also slightly related to a different side of the wedding party, you know? Like I think she was pretty close with some of the groomsmen. So it wasn't a random person. So it was just uncomfortable. I see. I feel like this one's tough because it's up to the guests. But it's like if you get it wrong, it's kind of a big deal, you know. For sure. But apparently other people n also noticed and were giving her the stink eye. So hopefully she felt a little bit of shame.

Ha ha. Hopefully next time she won't be wearing white. Yeah. I think for me the craziest thing it wasn't even me who witnessed it, but one of the guys In our friend group came out of the bathroom and was like, You'll never guess what I just heard in the bathroom. Just some dude like projectile vomiting. Yeah. And I was like, whoa. And I guess it was funny because we saw him later and he looked totally fine. Just like having a lot of fun. Yeah.

We mentioned it to the bride and groom and they're like, Oh, was it this guy? And they perfectly described the guy and we're like, That's him and she was like, Of course it was him. Yeah.

Damn, I feel like low key every wedding has that one designated drunk person. It's like the friend who sometimes can get a little bit too drunk and then everyone is expecting that behavior at the wedding, you know? As long as they keep it life of the party behavior. Right. And not like, oh God, we have to take care of this person behavior. Yeah. Another crazy thing that I have witnessed is

Well, this is just crazy to me. Sometimes at weddings the guys will go out to like smoke or something and then they will join the uncles. Who are also smoking? Yeah. And then it'll just be like a generational gap closed by cigarettes outside. Yeah. Crazy what substances can do. It's just such a jarring image. You know what I mean? And that is one of those things where I truly am like, we are old.

Damn. Wait, but maybe those people are just feeling young. The the uncles and and aunts. Cause I remember at your wedding and sometimes at other weddings. the older generation, they'll get caught up in the hype of the younger generation and they'll be like, Oh yeah, like let's order hella drinks. Cheers, guys. You know. I remember at my wedding, we like went up to a group of family friends and the first thing they said to us was, Oh, great open bar. What a

Great idea. I was like, oh my God, so happy you're enjoying it. Love to see the uncles and aunties get really hype because I guess it's the adult version of Pro. Mm-hmm. So then it must be really fun for them to like dress up. It's already fun for us, but we have probably more opportunities to dress up and go out than they do. Yeah, now I wonder when your parents or family friends go to weddings, do they not have open bars? Or maybe it's just not as hype.

You know. Oh, could be, yeah. I think certain weddings there's like more activity around the bar, you know. Ha ha ha. And yours was like one of the first weddings. Right. Within like our friend group. So it was extra hype. I think there was a lot of excitement, which was perfect. Yeah. But like do you think if we attended your wedding now would the vibes be a little different? Oh my god.

I guess in a sense I didn't get to attend my own wedding. I know that sounds weird, but as a bride I feel so different, you know? Mm-hmm. So I'm not fully sure, but probably. Because at the time it was like I think a lot of people's only wedding of the year or maybe one of two or three weddings of the year. Recent years I feel like people have a lot more weddings that they're attending. Mm-hmm. So I think we got lucky with the timing.

Yeah, and it was end of year too, it was like good time to celebrate. Yeah. Now if we attended, I think the vibes would still be great. But maybe there'd be slightly less drinking. We had younger livers back then.

Yeah. Do you feel like your game plan going into weddings has changed from now versus three years ago? I mean, I think my goal two to three years ago was maybe similar to yours. Enjoy the open bar, hang out with my friends. I feel like now not much has changed, honestly. But there have been things that I've noticed people do at weddings that I've slowly been incorporating into my goals. Oh. One of which is I think it's so

kind and polite when people go up to other people's parents at weddings and congratulate them. Go up to the grandmas and grandpas, congratulate them, shake hands with the family. And that's something that I've been trying to do more often at weddings, just be more happy and excited for the family. You know what I mean? Instead of just like zeroing in on the open.

I think the other thing too that maybe hasn't changed but that I'm more aware of is I feel like other people go to weddings and get to know new people. Oh my god And that's very foreign to me. Crazy. I think most of the weddings that I've been to, I know at least six people that That's pretty good. And that already is like a group, you know. So I have no need to like branch out. But I was like, Am I gonna be that person?

in my thirties, who's also just only wanting to talk to the people that I already know at a wedding. So that's also been a goal. Branch out a little bit more. I think it'll happen more when you attend weddings where James is part of the wedding party and you're not. Good point. I feel like I've actually been to a few weddings where everyone I know is in the wedding party. Oh my god. So then I'm forced to mingle with the the plubs.'Cause the wedding party's busy. Right, right.

It's actually not bad. That's when you truly see how good the seating arrangement is. And usually it's really good. Okay. Yeah, damn. That's a good point. The seating arrangement.

I feel like I've been to weddings where the seating arrangement is slightly not it. Oh no. I went to a banquet once. Uh-huh. I knew a good amount of people at this wedding, but there were certain people that I knew significantly better than other people. Our table specifically was Mostly young people our age that I knew and then three uncle. Ha ha. Extremely old unks. Not even like you know, forties or fifties. It was like they were like 70 probably. Thank God.

So we got to the table and then we look at the name tags. Yeah. And it was like all the people I know in a row and then James and then me and then the unks. Oh my god. And then it circled back to like all the people that I knew. And I looked at the name tag and I was like, Oh God. And luckily one of the people that I knew at the table was like, I'll just swap this. So then he came and sat next to me. Oh. That's nice. And then next to him were the uncles. Yeah.

Yeah. So I was like, Thank God, like God bless you. But when I first saw it I was like, It's over. Ha ha ha. Yeah, we just talked about how we're bad at talking with adults. Yeah, I think I'm still kind of bad at talking to adults at weddings. Unless it's like family. If it's family, then it's a little easier. If it's just like foreign adults. Like what do I say to them? For an adult.

Yeah, it's awkward. And then I think especially at a banquet, it can be kind of interesting'cause there's the lazy Susan of it all. I thought it was cool because the guy who came and sat next to me I mean he wasn't saying the word unk, but he was basically like, Oh, unks, like you guys should eat this. Like unks, serve yourself first and being super friendly with them. And later I even asked him, I was like, Do you know these people? And he was like, No, no, just let them.

Wait, I'm dying at you just calling them unks? I'm curious to attend a banquet style wedding. I have yet to experience that so far. Actually, yeah, so far I've always been seated with younger people like our age. The only time I've been seated with older people is if like I'm part of family or something like that. Mm. Yeah, I feel like occasionally those weird tables with mismatched ages randomly pulled from different walks of life, you know?

Yeah. In my head I'm like, oh, am I at the leftovers table? Dude, actually there's a movie called Table Nineteen and it's about this. It's like interesting. Random mismatch. didn't know where to put them all seated at table nineteen. Yeah. I don't remember if it was that good or not, but it is supposed to be a comedy and it's anakendric. So maybe you can watch that movie if you ever know you might be sat with random people.

I'll take notes on their strategies. Yeah. Although I think to an extent it's actually better if it's like a full group of random. Mm. Mm. Versus if you're just two randoms and then you're seated with like a whole friend group, it might feel a little bit more awkward. That is so true. Cause if everyone doesn't quite know each other, then someone's gonna crack and start, you know, rallying the group to to introduce each other and all of that. Totally.

How about have you ever been sat with people who you like kind of know, kind of don't? Yes, I have and I think it actually always ends up being fine. We just make some small talk in the beginning, talk about the food, talk about the couple, and then we'll pick like two or three conversation topics and just like zero in on that, you know? Yeah. So usually it goes okay, but Bye.

There is like that transition period because I feel like when you're eating a meal at a wedding and you're all seated together, you're forced to chit-chat, right? And then as soon as the meal service is over, it's like open dance floor time, like everyone goes to the bar or like mingle with other people. And I find that transition kind of awkward.

'Cause I'm always like, is it rude if I get up immediately when they call for like dancing? Or like, should I offer like, oh, we should walk here together? Or I also think like, is this person gonna follow me? Or like should I follow this person? So then I feel like there's a little bit of hesitation, but the actual like sitting and eating is always completely fine. Wait, I completely get what you mean. And now that I'm thinking about it, I think I just run away.

One of my strategies is to just look really busy. Like I have a mission, you know, I have somewhere to go. 야야. So no one can say anything. Like, oh shit, she must need to go somewhere right now, I know. That's true. You can walk confidently to the bathroom, to the bar, to the dance area, back to your chair. There's many different routes you can take. Mm-hmm. But I do hesitate for sure. There's like that maybe five minute of wavering. Where you're both trying to like suss out each other's

Intentions. Yeah. But table seating aside, I feel like generally weddings tend to have similar formats. So there's usually the ceremony, the reception, some sort of speech. And sometimes there will be like a first dance. It follows that succession. So knowing that all of these things usually happen at a wedding, are there things that you do to try to be polite? Polite like how? I'll give an example. I have given a couple of speeches at weddings and

It was a very nerve-wracking experience. Mm-hmm. And I will say writing the speech is always significantly more fun than giving it, because when you're giving it, it's like public speaking. And Crystal, you have also officiated my wedding. So you have the experience of being up there in front of everyone as well. Yeah. But I know that depending on how confident of a public speaker you are, it can be a really, really thrilling experience.

Yeah. So usually when someone is giving a speech, I'll be very loud in terms of my laughter or I'll be like, aww, or like I'll like say things loudly so that that person who's giving the speech knows that people are like actually listening. See. I like that. I think I tried to remember specific things that I liked so that I can tell them after. That's a good one.

I'm actually probably more shy about being loud as an audience member than actually public speaking. But I'll definitely, you know, clap when necessary and and like make some laughing noises. But I'm not gonna be like, ha ha ha you know, like I'll just be like, Ha ha ha, that was great. I think I'll actually try to be like ha ha ha and then I'll also notice in the crowd other loud laughers. Mm-hmm because I know I'm intentionally laughing loud for

the enhancement of the speech giver's enjoyment. Yeah. So then I feel like I can kind of suss out when other people are also doing it. Every like two tables will have one loud laugher. Hmm. Honestly, we do need those people. So yeah. Thank you to everyone who's a loud laugher. Thank you for your service. But yeah, I think I definitely try to remember specific things to tell them. And then sometimes if they're like really nervous.

maybe they're talking to me about it, then I'll just remind them like everyone's here not to judge you. Everyone's here to have a great time and hear about your wonderful story. So hopefully that makes you feel a little better. There's nothing to be nervous about. Everyone here is Supporting you. And here for the same reason. Actually, I need to ask you now, do you think that helps though? Hearing that advice. Yeah. Or do you think you're like, Oh, I'm still hella nervous?

I think it really does depend on the person because I've been to weddings where Maid of Honor and the best man, they don't look nervous at all. They're so calm. I actually forget that they have to give a speech until the second that they go up. But as someone who does get really nervous going up and speaking in front of a lot of people. I think it kind of helps.

That's the honest answer. It helps mentally. Yeah. But I think my physical reaction is just insurmountable. I can't calm my beating heart. Yeah, that's very reasonable. I mean, dude, when you were saying your vows, you killed it. Dude, the speeches, that was a different beast. I don't know why.

I think I know why actually. For vows, you only have to look at your partner. Mm. You don't really have to look at the crowd. And you it's easier to maybe like be in that moment. But then for the speech, you're definitely like talking out to everyone. Also for the vows, if the vows are bad, no one actually cares because it's just supposed to be between you and the groom anyway. Mm-hmm. But if you have a bad speech, it's like a disservice to the bride and the groom. You know what I mean?

Like that's like the pressure that I felt. Damn. I see. And low key, there's always a pressure to give a better speech than the best man. That's just you being competitive. Dude, you would think that, but it's actually very common. I think a lot of people think that. I think I would feel that too, if that were the case for me.'Cause I know I'm competitive. We're just being honest about it. True. We're just brave enough to speak about it.

It's a moment of girls versus guys for all the weddings that we've been to at least. It is. It totally is.

And I actually feel, not to make this a gender thing, but the girl versus guy competition is something that permeates through the entire wedding process. Hmm. At least for me. Ha ha. I think there's like a little bit of a question of, Oh, is the Bachelorette party more fun than the Bachelor party? And it's not like a huge overarching theme. It's more like a tiny cloud in the background that follows each event, you know?

Not only does it impact the Bachelorette, Bachelor party, but it also impacts the speeches, and the final culmination of it all is on the dance floor. Oh my god, this is really intense. Oh sorry. Wait, but what if it's like you just had the most fun you could have had at your bachelorette? I think most people do just have like a like a lot of fun at the Bachelorette. And I honestly personally think that most bachelorettes are more fun than bachelor party.

So that's like a easy layup. But I feel like on the dance floor. Okay, now that your reaction is like this, maybe I'm the crazy one, but I'm already on my soapbox. I'm just gonna keep going. On the dance floor. On the dance floor, I always notice if the bridesmaids are more hype or the groomsmen are more hype. Oh my god. I know. It's so bad. Okay. I'm not like a dance floor person. Mm-hmm. So I have no stake in this. But I do remember this makes so much sense now because I do remember

You and some of the other girls, they're like, you have to get on the dance floor, like right now. And I'm like, no. I'm actually having so much fun sitting in my chair right now. Yeah. They're like, no, like you need to get up here. And I'm like, oh. Okay. I'll go up for like ten minutes and then I'll be like, Okay, I think I can sneak away again.

Dude, I actually feel like it's a wedding party obligation almost. And I've seen it manifest in different ways. But there was one wedding that I was at where The groom was up dancing on the dance floor, his friends were there, and then the bride was up there with maybe like one friend. And then she looked at us and she was like, get up here Like she like waved us over, she's like, get up here. Oh my god.

I remember we like ran up and then we started dancing and then we were like facing each other and we were talking about how she like called us up. She was like sorry like while we were dancing, she's like sorry, I had to call you guys up because none of my friends were here and we're like, Oh okay, like how long do we have to dance? Yeah, I do remember that actually. We're talking about the same night. Yes, yes. Clearly it made an impression in our mind.

Okay, to be fair actually, that wedding was a little smaller. So I can understand that more for sure. But usually I'm like, I don't need to worry about this because there's there's usually other people who are more than happy to be on the dance floor so that I don't have to be there. Right, right.

But after that moment, every wedding I go to, I always do like a gender balance check. I'm like how many women are here, how many men are here? I mean, this is only if I'm in the wedding party, but if I feel like the girls are not as populous. I'll start to drag people on the dance floor. But what if there's a lot of guys but they're the bride's friends?

Oh, well, it's hard to tell, I guess. I wouldn't know every single friend, so I guess at the end of the day I wouldn't know. But it's just like a mental check that I do. That's actually really funny. The caveat though is if the dance floor is like pretty full and pretty hype. anyways, like regardless of the gender balance, then I feel like it's fine. Yeah. Only if it's like slightly dying where I'm like, Okay, everyone needs to come and like join forces. Yeah.

What if you just don't want a dance floor? Every bride and groom has like a different set of expectations for their wedding. I've been to weddings where the bride and groom explicitly didn't want to dance much or like wanted to dance for a very short amount of time. I think my wedding was similar. I've been to weddings where they wanted to dance the entire time. So then I think it's about knowing what the expectations are. I'm still reflecting on the girls versus guys like build up.

But I do think that adds almost like an extra element of fun because you have even more reason to be super hype. You're like, come on guys, show your energy. Rally up for your girl, you know. It's like a fake competition.

The other funny thing too is I feel like sometimes there's mild beef between the wedding party. Not in a sense where all the bridesmaids hate all the groomsmen, but sometimes one of the bridesmaids will have a bad relationship with one of the groomsmen. You know, they might have past beef or they might currently find each other annoying or obnoxious or something. I feel like those interactions are also hilarious.

Oh my god. Now that you mention that, for some reason in our friend group's weddings that kind of happens more than it probably should. Yes, yes. It's because we've been friends for so long. It's inevitable that previous beef has existed. Lot of history there. Mm. But actually, yeah, I agree. Those interactions are really funny because you can tell both sides are like, we must behave for the wedding. Everyone has their mature face on. Yeah. I have a random question, actually.

Have you attended a wedding alone recently? No, I've literally never been to a wedding by myself. Oh my god. I was thinking about this too and I realized I haven't either. If you had to attend a wedding alone, do you think your game plan and stuff would be different? Yeah, I think it would be different. Well, okay, I would have to completely scrap my normal game plan, which is hang out with the people that I know and bring out my inner social butterfly.

Wait, but you might still know people at the wedding. It's just that your partner or like your family isn't with you. You're attending solo. Oh, I see. I feel like if I know at least a couple people at the wedding, I would just latch onto them. Would you feel like a third wheel? Third to fifth to seventh to I definitely would and I would probably leave early if I'm being honest. But I feel like that's also fine. And I think to an extent somewhat expected. Okay, I'm gonna set a scenario for you.

Okay. And tell me like what events you'll attend, how long you'll stay, like that all that kind of stuff. So you're actually in the wedding party. Oh, God. And uh James can't make it'cause he has another wedding he has to go to. Okay. The wedding is long. It's gonna be from like five to eleven thirty. Okay. And then there's afters until two AM. Oh my

And for the wedding party, you can go early to get ready with the girls, or you can get there a little later and skip the super early morning stuff. So what are you gonna do? Oh, actually this makes it easier because I think when you're in a wedding party, you're kind of expected to hang out with each other at least for half of the night. I would just go early.

'Cause James isn't home anyway. So then I would go early, get ready with the girls and hang out with the girls for the rest of the night. Oh, okay wait, maybe I made this too easy. Actually you're not part of the wedding party. Oh fuck. But you're a really close friend with the bride and groom. Mm. Are you gonna make it to afters? Yeah. I think I'm just the type of person to show face at the afters. Yeah.

So then I would go to afters and you said it ends at two, right? Yeah. I would leave at twelve forty five. Oh my god, I thought you were gonna say twelve thirty. 'Cause twelve thirty is a little early. That means the wedding ended at eleven thirty and then I only went for like an hour and that's not including transit time. So I was basically there for like thirty minutes. That's too short. Twelve forty five though, chillin'. That's basically what. Everyone rounds up, you know.

Okay, what if you're not as close to the couple? Would you just say no to attending the wedding? You know what I would probably actually do? What? I think I would try to seek out another person who's at the wedding by themselves.

Similar situation as me. Close to them but doesn't know anyone or like came by myself or whatever. And then see if that person is going and then we could like duo it. You know, we'll like show up together, leave together. Yeah. And then I wouldn't feel like I have to do all this decision making by myself. Okay, these are some pretty good tactics. What would you do? How early or how late would you stay?

Yeah, this is tough. I think similar to you. If I'm close to the couple, I'll probably stay as long as I can. Mm-hmm. But if I'm not as close, maybe I'll just end up leaving early. That makes fun. Yeah, because also if you're going alone you probably have to drive home. Mhm. So I'd probably just like take it easy and maybe retire early. Ha ha.

Retire early. Doesn't sound that bad, honestly. Stay long enough to say hi and like chat and get some post wedding gloss and then be in your own bed at a reasonable time. Like that sounds wonderful. Yeah.

I'm just there for the ceremony, honestly. I'm just trying to watch people in love. This is like a real life rom-com, you know? Speaking of though, do you have like a favorite part of the wedding? So like I said earlier, I really like the ceremony. When the couple does the vows, oh my god, one of my favorite parts. Ha ha Ooh, yeah, the ceremony is good. But to me it's not the vows that get me when the bride walks down the aisle. Like I cry every time. It's like the perfect moment.

Yes, there's been many weddings where you've turned around to look at the bride and I just see you and our other friends just tears streaming down all your faces and I'm like, Oh my god You're like, are you good? I'm like, is everyone okay? I think I really like the parent speeches. Mm. And then I also really like when they do like a father-daughter dance. That also always gets me. Wow. Yes, I do love the speeches. Overall I love speeches too. I do kind of like the first hour. Cocktail hours.

It's like the warm up hour. Like we're mingling a little bit and we're strategizing to get our seats and usually we're welcomed with some drinks. calm our nerves I guess. I don't know why I'm nervous, but I am for some reason. Wait, wait, is this cocktail hour after the ceremony or getting seats before the ceremony? Before. Uh usually it's like thirty minutes to an hour. Um depending on how much buffer time the couple has planned. So I kinda like that time for some reason.

That's a nice time. There's a lot of anticipation in the air. Yeah. And I feel like it's like buzzing with excitement. Okay, but uh things that I don't really care for. Actually the cake uh Oh, like the cake cutting or eating the cake? I'd like never eat the cake. I'm not gonna lie. Oh, damn, dude. That's like a lot of the budget right there. But like remember there was one or two weddings that we went to last year where the cake was fake. Oh true.

It was like fake and then the couple just had a real slice and then they like pull it out. For some reason at that moment I was like, how could the cake be fake? As if I ever even eat the cake. You're betrayed anyway. Yeah. I think I've eaten the cake maybe five percent of the time. I always eat the cake just because I know there's like a lot of thought that goes behind it. Like everyone does like the tastings and whatnot. Yeah. But I do like watching the cake cutting. It's pretty cute.

Okay, I love when the unks and aunties get down on the dance floor, like I mentioned earlier. I think that is hilarious, and I love it so much. I also like after. I think afters is when the bride and groom get to have fun. Oh yeah. And I like seeing that. That's a very good point. I also kinda like the window. Mm. When it's dark outside and everyone's kinda doing their own thing, some are just chilling at the table and some are dancing, I guess. I kind of like that time. It's like uh

Downtime. It's like free time. I think you like it'cause you're like, we can leave soon. I think it's also interesting though because people will kind of section off. Sometimes it's like big groups of friends or sometimes it's like you see other couples having their own little like intimate moments. And it's like kinda cute'cause you're like, Wow, love is in the air everywhere.

Yeah. Yeah. I think it's also interesting too because you see everyone with their coats on and then it's like a second outfit. Okay.

But yeah, you know, I think my favorite thing is still like the the ceremony, the vows. Mm-hmm. It's the most special moment for sure. I definitely get a little bummed when people do private vows. I'm like, how dare they not share their vows with But I understand. I think private vows are like

to me the most romantic almost. Cause it's like, oh, they had their own little moment separately without any eyes. I feel like that in itself is so special. But I will say sometimes ceremonies where the couple did private vows The ceremony is straight up like five minutes long. I'm like, oh, it's a little rapid. I agree. It is very romantic when they do their private vows, but I'm like, I'm here to watch. You know. You're here to be entertained.

Yeah. What I've seen though before is when the couples do a private vow, they'll have their officiant kind of do a bit more of a longer slash more in-depth thing. So then yeah, the ceremony's still a little shorter, but we still get to hear a lot of fun stories or sweet things about the relationship. Right. My learning after attending all these weddings is

A wedding is so special because everyone is there to celebrate the couple. And then it's also extremely intimate in a sense where every attendant gets to see the couple's personalities and their relationships so much in detail. You hear about it through the speeches and the stories, you like see how they decorated it together. You like see their their creative vision and everything. And it just feels like such an intentional day. So

As much as we joke about, oh, you know, weddings we have to have a strategy and a game plan and there's a gender competition, like at the end of the day, it's just so sweet and like such a privilege to go to all these weddings. For sure. I am not deterred by weddings, even though it was a busy time trying to attend everything last year. I'm still very pro attending weddings.

Let everyone know. But now I'm encouraging people to maybe spread their weddings out a little bit more. I'm like, all right, this year only three of you people are allowed to get married. Let's take our time, folks. Yeah.

But yeah, I totally agree with everything you said, Jisoo. And for our listeners out there, if if you have any favorite parts of weddings you'd like to share, feel free to let us know. Uh we have social media at eat your crust pod, and we also have email eatyourcrustpod at gmail.com. And if you'd like to catch our other episodes, then don't forget to follow us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We upload new episodes every other Wednesday morning.

Thanks for listening. And don't forget to eat your crusts.