62: Meeting Strangers

Excuse me, sorry, do you speak English? No, I don't, sorry. English! Welcome to the Easy English Podcast, episode 62. Hello.

Good morning. Good morning. From Germany. From Germany. I'm living the German dream. Which is just eating a pretzel with butter. We just had coffee and a pretzel. Very German. We arrived already over the weekend. It was the first thing in the supermarket that we got. This has now become a small topic, but how would you rank German supermarkets?

What does that mean? From top to bottom, which is considered the most premium to the most scabby. I don't even know all the supermarkets anymore. In England? I would say the best is... Oh, the best. The most expensive is, is it Marks and Spencers? Yeah, I'd say so, Marks and Spencers. You know that you eat, should our listeners hear you eating? Marks and Spencers and then...

Morrison's. Morrison's. Is that actually even more premium? No. Morrison's is a more premium supermarket. M&S, which is actually a clothing store, has a small supermarket section. Yeah, M&S, then Not Morrison's next one. And Tesco's? I think Tesco's and Sainsbury's are kind of locked. Sainsbury's and Co-op is...

Or somewhere around them, I'd say. Or it's actually better than Saino's. Or it's actually probably better than Sainsbury's and Tesco's. Saino's, as we call it. Saino's. And then probably Asta, which is a discounter. Yeah. And then the German ones. Then the German ones. Lidl and Aldi. Where Lidl is better in England, and Aldi is not. Or? I'd actually say that Lidl could be above Asda.

ASDA also goes by the other name of ASBOS, which stands for Antisocial Behaviour Order. Oh, God. I think ASDA has a lot more to offer, at least. It's usually massive because it's owned by Walmart. Yeah, and they have a lot of, if you like to cook from different cuisines, they have like World's Food Isles and all that. Loda doesn't have that. Okay, so we're saying Marks and Spencer's M&S, Morrison's.

Co-op, Sainsbury's and Tesco's, then Asda, Lidl, Aldi. Okay, shall we move on to our actual program of topics? I would like to, yes. Can I start?

Please. I would like to reintroduce a section that we haven't done for a while, which is Expression of the Week. In our recent pub call, our conversation call, one of our members explained, not really a saying, I would say it's an expression, but more a swear word, which is sh**. beeped out now, so I cannot explain now. The S word. The S word. The explanation was really, really interesting. Really, really interesting. Which, maybe I'll share another time.

But I would like to, inspired by this, greetings to James, I would like to go back to expression of the week and always explain like a little saying or expression. So, or actually I will... throw it at you and you tell me what you think, where it's from. And I think this one, you know, because I think actually that you explained it to me once. Is it s***, it's the fam? No, we do that later. So it is Mad as a Hatter.

Oh, yeah. Do you know where it's from? Yeah, I think I do because my family originates from Stockport, which... is famous for hat factories. And even the football team, Stockport County, are called the Hatters. That I don't know. See, you add value. Thank you. Because usually I just add nonsense. Okay. Can you explain, though, where the madness comes from? I don't know if this is just like something that you sort of hear on the grapevine that's sort of past like Chinese whispers kind of thing.

I think it's because Chinese whispers. I think it's from the people who worked in the hat factory. Gluing the hat had to work with. And the glue back then was made from mercury or something? Yes. And it was super duper toxic. That's correct. And would f*** you up to cut a nice little phrase. Yeah, so in the 18th and 19th century, hat makers often suffered from mercury poisoning, which caused erratic behavior. Oh, really?

What is erratic behaviour? Like, unpredictably violent, maybe? Or, yeah, it's a negative unpredictability. Lewis Carroll, who wrote Alice in Wonderland, or Alice Through the Looking Glass. Amongst many other weird hallucinations that she has, she, or, I don't know, it's a bit like The Matrix, Alice in Wonderland. Is she dreaming or does she really go down a rabbit hole? She goes to a tea party and meets a mad hatter, like a crazy guy with a big top hat.

And so I think people would presume that Mad as a Hatter comes from Alice in Wonderland, but I think it's probably based on Lewis Carroll's life that one of her relatives or friends was a literal Mad Hatter. If you're interested in phrases like mad as a hatter or other strange idioms and phrases then you can hear them regularly when we do our conversation calls. The conversation call

is a way for you to improve your English, your speaking and listening English. And it's a weekly Zoom meeting, which Easy and I host with other members who are also trying to improve their English on Tuesday nights. And all you have to do to join in is become an Easy English conversation member by going to easyenglish.video forward slash membership.

As well as the conversation calls, you'll also be eligible to get the perks for this podcast, which is the interactive transcript, and also all of the perks for our video membership, which gets you...

video downloads, audio downloads, transcripts, worksheets, vocabulary lists. If your New Year's resolution was to level up your English, become fluent and improve your... pronunciation, your dialect and sound a bit more British like me, then become a conversation member with our membership at easyenglish.video forward slash membership.

Topic of the week. Do you like it when people eat in podcasts or do you hate them? So gross. Yeah? I actually, that's probably an unpopular opinion, but in my favorite podcast. When they eat something in between, I mean, it's not that I want to listen to them eating all the time, but when they eat in between, it makes me feel kind of like a bit at home and a bit like cozy because I think like, oh, it's such a normal situation.

They are talking and eating. It's kind of comfy. Do you get that? Do you understand it? It depends how they eat. Yeah, yeah, it's true. If it's like a cement mixer, then it's... Hop, hop, hop.

Wow. Okay. I actually wanted to do a topic about British etiquette, but we already have a podcast called British Etiquette. So I want to adapt this one to be sort of a more specific version. all around strangers, mainly meeting strangers, but also behaving with people that you don't know. How you've sort of managed to do it. Me? Yeah, in like different scenarios, like actual strangers that you're just passing by.

Strangers that you're meeting in a queue, at the supermarket, at the shops and at restaurants. Okay. Maybe we can put it into different segments. Let's go with meeting someone new or like meeting a stranger to speak to them. You mean they're in the street or meeting like a friend of a friend or so? A friend of a friend or even when people have to come to do some work for you or you have to go do work for them or...

How do you treat people that you are just having to maybe... spend time with for a minimum like a short period of time how would you greet someone and where's the borderline from stranger meeting to someone that you think might or is like someone that you're meeting that could become a friend or if it's a friend of a friend

It really depends. If it's a friend of a friend, you would probably even maybe give a hug. Even if you'd never met them before? Yeah. I think that's fair. You'd follow what the... Let's say I was introducing you to a friend that you'd never met. You just follow whatever I did. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And with people that I work with or just in the streets or that come to do work at my house or so, you obviously don't hug. You could shake hands, but that's not so English, is it? It is.

But I think after COVID, it kind of changed a lot. Yeah, maybe. You say hello or good morning, good afternoon, good evening, but no one says that. Good morning, yes, if it's the morning until noon, I would say. True. You say good morning then more than hello, but you don't say good afternoon. Good day? Would you say good day? No. You say hello. Only morning is appropriate nowadays. Or hi sometimes as well. Yeah. Depends on the person. You always ask, how are you?

Always, I think, in Britain you ask, how are you, without expecting an answer. So you don't mean it, it's just to keep it flowing. No, it's also a hello, isn't it? True, it is a greeting, yeah. Yeah, you're very friendly, hopefully smiling. and very polite, and you ask questions. So small talk we're talking about there. The weather? Yeah, exactly. How light, how deep can you go? Not deep. Never deep.

No, not too deep. I think you, yeah, you would always comment on the weather or on the time of the day. So if it's really cold, it was like, oh, it's freezing out there, isn't it? For example, you have a plumber coming to your place. You're like, oh, um.

since when have you been working did you have a successful maybe not successful but like how was your morning yet how many houses did you have to visit yet you know those kind of questions like if you had a coffee yet um how long do you have to work today it's kind of like Being interested about their day and how they're feeling right now. Making them comfortable with you, really. I think it's really nice. If they were working for a long time, would you even cater for them?

If they were in your house for a long time. I think so. Is that okay? People do that. Offer a cuppa or a coffee. Yeah, a brew. Yeah, that's kind of it, right? Maybe a biscuit with it. There's even such a thing as a builder's tea. Is that a strong one? It's actually not. It's a weak one, bizarrely. You'd think it would be like just no milk or nothing, but it's milk and two sugars. It's known as a builder's. But it's tea as well. Yeah, like a breakfast tea.

Oh, sugars to keep them going. Yeah. Almost like a caramelly colour tea with two sugars. Do you get a biscuit with it? You could offer a biscuit, but...

To dip. They'd have pretty grubby hands. Yeah. Okay, the next one. Public behaviour on the streets. How would you say is the best way to behave? When you're, you know, between stores, when you're window shopping or perusing a city. Personal space is, I think, very similar to Germany. You do one personal space and you do respect. personal space of others so don't oh for me really a very important thing i hate it when people come to close you know when you're in a queue in a supermarket

And people come so close that you feel their breath in your neck. No one likes that. Like, stay away. And people really don't do this. I think even better than in Germany. Yeah, I agree. We have a very small supermarket around the corner. And I always find it funny, but also so reassuring how people make space for each other in there. Because they're very narrow aisles. Not very narrow. You could absolutely pass. Like two people could pass. But if you see someone coming, both parties just stop.

and say to the other party like, oh, you come, you go first, you come, you come. And I had this just recently. with a guy in the supermarket and he was like no you come no you come no you come oh god then he was like I want to be a gentleman I was just about to say back like I want to be a gentlewoman but it is nice you know because

It's like whatever, in whatever rush you are, that comes first. So yeah, make space for people. Look out for each other. Very considerate culture, public social culture, which I love. Smile at each other, I would say. And if you're in a very good mood, say hello, good morning to people just randomly in the street. I think people do that all the time. I mean, we have a dog.

walkers, dog people, anyway, say hello to each other. But even if you don't have a dog, people say hello to each other, they smile at each other, sometimes even a little comment about the weather, and it's just great. You feel so welcome. You have to get a feeling for it, but if you catch someone's eye contact, at least give an alright, alright? And that's just like, I hope you're alright kind of thing. Not asking a question.

I wouldn't say all right. I think it's more a northern thing, isn't it? No, I think it depends on who the person is. If it's like an older person, you probably would think to say morning or hello. Like the day-to-day, isn't it? But if you see someone who's younger, maybe under 30, then an alright is pretty normal. If you catch eye contact, most people will return the same thing back to you.

How about things like terms of endearment? Would you ever use terms of endearment to people? You get it a lot from people in the supermarket who are working at the desk. But would you ever be confident enough to call someone love or dear? Darling or something. I actually wait for the moment that I'm integrated enough to say something like that. But I really don't know in what...

Like, what would be the circumstance that I would call someone darling or love? Yeah. I like it, but I think we did a podcast about that. I also like it only under very specific circumstances. Right, but how do you deal with it then? Because probably you will never give it back. The most thing I'll ever say is mate to someone, thanks mate, who's not really my friend, but I want to give a term of endearment because they helped me.

How do you deal with it when someone calls you? Hi, love. Or are you all right, love? All right, darling. I can imagine if you've come to the UK and someone calls you darling. It's a bit like overwhelming. Yeah, that's what I mean. Like it has to be. absolutely clear that has nothing flirty sexual with it that has to be clear right it it very often isn't that's what i think what you have to kind of learn

And in general, I'm most comfortable and love it when like an older lady calls me down and then I'm like, yes, you're cute. Is age a factor? Maybe because I think it's more like. love and darling is maybe more another generation thing it's only acceptable it's only it feels less weird if it's someone who could maybe be more your mother or father as opposed to be your partner

Exactly. The last one I want to bring up actually is interesting on this subject of public behaviour is swearing. Oh, I definitely swear too much. But I've noticed that like... I worked on it though. I worked on my swearing. Do you feel like you hear it a lot in public? Oh yeah, absolutely. And that's how I got inspired, I think, to do it more.

Oh, really? You hear it a lot in the UK? Yeah, I think so. Oh, okay. But like lovely swearing. Like what? What's lovely swearing? Is it a big thing in Germany, like public swearing? Would people outwardly swear? Yeah. It's more, I think we already talked about this once, it's more common. Like on TV, for example, it's allowed. But English swear words. Yeah, really English swear words that you see on TV. Like the F word is actually used to, right?

You were shocked. On daytime television? Yeah. The S word. Yeah. It's used a lot, or some public, I would say. Because you use it, you know, like, damn it. You use it like when something falls down. Hold on, in England or in Germany? In Germany. Okay. In England as well. But you try to mask it, but like, oh, shit. Is that genuine? Come on. Bang out the big, fat, loud s***, please. Big, fat s***. Big, fat.

Big fat s***. Oh no, the podcast is turning. No, no. No, in general, well, I think I got a bit inspired, but I don't know why. What does it say about us? But I don't swear much anymore. Well, you know, it's also part of the language you need to learn. Yeah. But yeah, I learned it. I had my face. And now I don't really swear anymore. I think I use a German. Scheiße.

Oh, yeah. If something, but then something really, you know, if something really, really annoying happens, like the whole coffee is spilled over you, so. Yeah, okay, yeah. Then I would say, oh, scheisse. Yeah. But it's like, it's a nice little scheisse, you know. Categories of sh**. Big fat ones and nice friendly ones. We have PC, like parental.

Friendly swearing, which you put in place. What is that then? Like, bugger. Oh, bugger. Crap is about as bad as you can get in front of a kid. But that's not real swearing crap. You know, like, oh, Christ. You know, that kind of thing. Can you say damn it in front of a kid? No, damn it's quite American, damn it. But you say Christ, bugger, bloody hell is what I use a lot. Can you say...

Oh, goodness. Goodness me. So, yeah, there's like parental-friendly swearing. But there is swearing. You know it. In front of kids, the O's are fine.

Okay, and the last one I want to cover is, just quickly before we finish, is another common one, which is in restaurants. Just basic etiquette for staff. mainly staff I guess because that's when you're meeting strangers because I've noticed that staff are treated differently in different countries really and there's different levels of formality of staff in different countries.

Because in the UK, I would say that staff are a bit more of informal feeling in restaurants with waiters and waitresses and bar people. And that's returned also to the customer. Yeah. I think we went to that cafe in Münster when the car broke down. Oh, yeah. I mean, that was exceptionally rude. You cannot count that as German culture, please.

Okay, but you could never do that in England. That person would have been sacked on the spot, probably. I know she probably was the manager, which is really bad, but you'd lose your job if you told people that brutally about how they should behave. She used to go outside of your phone, right? She said, I answered the phone. It was a bakery cafe, but a big cafe. And by the way, there was one other woman in there. And people were talking.

People were talking super loudly and I answered the phone. She even knew we were broke down with the car. I even told them. So I had to answer the phone for the recovery service. And I didn't answer loudly. She just saw me having the phone on my head. I actually talked. Less loud than all of the people working there or the other people in the cafe. And she was like, phones are not allowed.

Then I was like, oh, okay. So I went up and the person, you know, I was speaking already and she said something else to me, right?

There was another passive-aggressive stomping around the cafe, acting like it was really stressful. Like you said, there was three or four people. Oh, what a day! But how should you treat your waiter or bartender when you... ways very well like you know them almost yeah like you know them and you know it's it's it's it's not only like british politeness and friendliness is not only a one-way street you do this because you are also get it back

What you... You get what you give. So you want to be friendly to people. Well, anyway, those people serve you. Yeah, and not that I worry about people spitting in my food. But I always think it's good to be on good terms with them because if something is wrong and you've already gone into the restaurant with a grumpy mood and then you think, oh, that's not what I ordered.

then you're like, oh God, now I've got to speak to this person. Whereas if you come in friendly and they're also friendly, then you already have that thing of, hey, I'm really sorry, but... This isn't right. And they'll probably return back with like, oh, God, no, I'm so sorry. Let me go check that for you. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I'm so sorry. And how about tipping?

because tipping is not a big thing compared to because you know if you're to the pub you're doing the order yourself they're not coming to you It's not as clear as in Germany, is it? At a pub, no. But somewhere at the bar they might have a jar where you can just throw in loose change. Not that people have change in the UK anymore. That's a bad thing, isn't it?

But there won't even be like a gratuity, it won't come up on the card machine, do you want to tip? Yeah. You have to kind of look for a jar or purposefully give your change. But if you had food and they come to your table, then you... No, it's more restaurant, isn't it? In a restaurant, yes. Yeah, exactly. On a cafe. Yeah, and 10% is pretty fair, I'd say. Okay, that's it for now. Hopefully that's useful. You've learned, what was that phrase we just did?

Mad as a Hatter. Yep. And we did Stranger Etiquette. Stranger Things. Stranger Things.

Thank you for listening to this week's podcast. I hope you have a nice rest of your week. Hello! I am English!