Let's see. Now it's done. You're doing good.
Yes.
You covered from your race this weekend.
It wasn't great, my knee didn't do well again, so that's a whole nother story.
That's a you got to hang out with winners though, right?
Yeah, right!
Peggy made the podium. That's good.
That's right, that's right.
Do you have a hard stop time? Do you have a?
I have a client at 11 my time that's noon. I would think we'd be done by then.
Yeah, so.
But you know, I can talk. So I don't wanna say that we will.
Gotcha. I was just told everybody I want this podcast to be exactly as long as it needs to be and not a second longer. But yeah, I don't have a time. I don't have to be anywhere until two.
Perfect.
So I should be good. So just to set the expectations, I think you're the expert. And even if you think I do know something, there's maybe guys that are listening that don't know it. So feel free to talk to me like I'm three. And yeah, I just, and I really
am looking for actionable steps. I think, you know, obviously I wanted to learn about you, what, uh, life coaching is, and then I've got a problem and maybe you could coach me for a little bit and move me through a process and then give me some steps to work on, or even maybe, uh, like how to think about, you know, getting, getting to the next spot. Does that sound, sound cool?
Yep, let's do it.
And at the end you've, you have your own podcast. If you have any critiques for me. I would love them. I'm still figuring out the technology and the stuff. So I'll get started. Hey, everybody, my name is Danny Dumas, and this is the Earn Your Title podcast. I've got my friend and life coach, Lindsey Heiserman. Lindsey, why don't you tell me about yourself and we'll get going.
Isn't that the best question when people ask that? Tell me about yourself.
Yeah,
In what
everything.
way? How many
Oh,
things? All the
since
things.
birth.
How much time do we have? Well, I want to start by saying that I met Danny on the Tough Mudder course, which is such a fun way to meet people. And it's definitely part of my story. So I love to obstacle race. And I've been a personal trainer for 17 years and also a life coach. So I decided a few years into my personal training career that there was just so much
behind. Movement why people wanted to move and I found that when I was training I Knew I was never gonna be the type of personal trainer who was like, alright, let's max out your deadlift Let's do this really scientific program But I was the type of person who wanted you to feel better after you came to the gym To enjoy your body to improve what you were doing and I found myself also doing a lot of behavior change coaching
Gotcha.
So I ended up getting a master's degree in counseling and psychotherapy, and I thought I would move into a therapy role, become a therapist. And it just wasn't quite right for me. And then I also did a life coach training and found that was really the mix I was looking for to help people even more.
Gotcha.
So that's professionally. Like I said, I love to obstacle race. I have my own business and spend as much time outside as I can in Minnesota. Yes, in the winter too.
So I will say this, you say you like the obstacle course race, but I would like to put that in perspective. A lot of people like to go do things. You have taken it to another level. You've done over a hundred now under, that's
Yeah,
just tough mutters, right? Not including
yeah.
the
Yeah.
other stuff. That
Correct.
is impressive. And like you said, we met out on the course. I was with my mom and you guys were just super kind and we've probably done five or six races together I would think. One of the things that always impressed me is you were always in a coaching. I feel like that's just who you are. Like we'll walk and we've done some 24 hour races. So we've spent significant, you know, hours and hours and hours
together. And you definitely have a way of just talking that doesn't feel like you're actually trying to pull something out of me, but you're, you always have that, that just, you can see that there's other places you can go and you ask good questions. So my first, hopefully a good question is What actually is a life coach? Because you're the only one I know. So you're obviously the best. But what does that mean to be a life coach? You know, like that seems
it's a newer career. Like that probably wasn't around 10 years ago, at least in the least that not that I know of. So you're my first one. What is a life coach?
Yeah, great question. And I do want to say you are correct because I got my master's degree eight or nine years ago at this point and I didn't know what I was gonna do with life coaching. Like it was really a great thing for me and I'll talk about what it is in a second, but people were using it in corporations, but nothing outside of that. They weren't, you know, the average person wasn't hiring a life coach really at the time and it has
gained a lot of popularity. But what I have experienced with my clients is that you know how we're in, we get support throughout our life, whether it's... a teacher, a coach, even your counselor at school maybe, there's your church, there's people who are there to help you along the way. And you can talk to them, they bounce ideas off of, and then you get to be an adult. And sometimes you look around and you're like, where did those support people
go? And the support people you need are not always your family and friends, right? You need that outside support. And so, My role as a life coach is really to support you in your life, but to ask questions.
Funny that you said that about I'm a good question asker because that is really my strength as a life coach is asking you questions to direct you to new ways of thinking, to challenge ways of thinking that you have, to challenge maybe some beliefs that are there, and then to guide you and assist you towards your goals. So you want to ask another question or should I go again?
No, that was good. When I think of it, I grew up playing sports. And like you said, I had coaches. It would have been ridiculous to think that me and my buddies would have shown up at 530 after school and got through something. And with a goal in mind, we just didn't, we couldn't do that. We didn't have the capability. And I think it's interesting that as we grow up, become adults, we don't even expect
that or look for that. We're just like, you know what, I made it an adult, I'm going to just wing it and hopefully it's okay because we're winging some really important things, you know. You're winging your career, you're just guessing that you're going to be a good parent. I think having somebody from the outside is really important. What is the process that people would go through when they contact you? Is there a typical thing? Is it weight loss or fitness?
Is it usually in one vein or they just say, you know, Lindsay, I feel like I could be better. Help me be better. How does that usually work? Is it a certain problem or is it just in general, help me? What does, how does that look?
I'll to say people have a life coaching entry point. So like you said, for a lot of people it's health and wellness. It's sort of this, I don't want to say low barrier, but they know they want to improve their health and wellness. And since my background is personal training, a lot of people will come in that avenue, not all of them. I would say that's probably a third, a third of people come for something else, like very specific. My kids are retiring. My kids are retiring. I'm retiring
or my kids are leaving home. People in transition of things, maybe a transition
of a job. So something in a different like bucket of life or grief is another one that I've worked a lot with People who have maybe not wanted to go back to grief therapy, but have a lot to move through But they want to do it in a proactive way And then I would say a third of people are like I don't know but I know I want some help like I feel Like I want more or I feel like I'm stuck something doesn't feel right and they can't articulate it and they know they should start, so they
do, and then we sort of walk through it and figure out where to start.
You mentioned something about therapy. Could you tell me, talking from guys, many of the guys I work with and even in my career, we have employee assistants where we see some terrible things, there's some post-traumatic stress, and we understand that now especially that we need to go get therapy because some of those things are very harmful. But some of the things are not. They're just stressful and we work them out. I call it sitting on the benches. We sit down
and talk to each other. It just kind of like it was a bad call, but not, you know, I don't think I have PTSD, maybe just PTS. I'm not disordered. What is the difference between therapy and who needs therapy versus coaching? What is your, because you obviously have expertise in both.
Yeah. Yeah, and the reason that I went life coaching more than becoming certified as a therapist is probably a really good answer to this. And I didn't want to take people into the past and drudge up everything that's behind you. And that's not all therapy does, but that is a lot of what therapy does. Tell me about this incident that happened in the past and let's talk through it. Whereas coaching is really proactive. What do you want to do
going forward? because I am trained in really both, I will ask clients permission. Do you want to go down this road? I feel like this could be important for you. And they can say yes or no. And I'd love to give an example here, if that would help.
Yeah, absolutely.
So one of my clients, his mom died when he was... a teenager, super traumatic and just has really affected the way he's lived the rest of his life. You know, he had grief therapy as a teenager and now he's, you know, 30 and stuff just, it's fine. But you know, grief follows you. Grief morphs and shifts as you grow older and have life experiences. And he kept saying to me, I'm maybe I need therapy. I'm not sure. And we were doing some coaching. And finally, he tried. He went to
a therapist. He said, OK, I think I'm going to do that. Maybe I do need a little bit more intensity. And he came back and he goes, yeah, no, no. I sat down in the chair and they just said, tell me about your mom dying. Like they just zeroed in on it.
Alright.
Whereas what we do is we focus on your future goals. and what's happening right now. And if I feel like there's something that is maybe tied to that part of his life, I'll say, do you think this has anything to do with this experience? And he'll say, oh, I didn't think about it that way, but it's very different than sit down and just tell me about it in therapy. And so I think people have that experience where they don't really wanna go
all the way in therapy necessarily. And so coaching is a little bit less intimidating for people. And I do think people need both sometimes. So I will say to clients like that one, do you want to try therapy? And here's a few reasons why it might be helpful and leave that door open.
Would you say it's fair, kind of like a doctor, like I feel like the job of my primary care physician is to get me to zero. If I'm unhealthy, I have a disease state, whatever, he's going to fix me and get me to just normal. And then
Mm-hmm.
I want to get better. I go work out and get a personal trainer, nutritionist. Like they take me to like optimal. Would you say that's kind of maybe therapists help you get unsick and then maybe a life coach helps you get to. Because a therapist or doctor doesn't have time to get me to a great status. He just has time for getting me to not unhealthy.
Yeah,
Is that?
I think that's pretty fair because I also have referred clients to therapists because they need to get on medication. You know, they really do need to address an anxiety or a depression. And I've said to them, you know, coaching to your great example helps you from zero forward. But sometimes you need help getting from negative 20
Right.
and getting your brain kind of leveled out and that you can do with medication, with the psychotherapist, sometimes with a therapist. And once you're at you know, base level, then we can sort of launch off from there. So that's a good way to put it.
That's awesome. What is the process of becoming a life coach? You always have a master's degree in talking to people, right?
Bye!
What is the next, what is the focus of life coaching? Like, what is, like say, hey, I want to be a life coach. I like talk to people. Is it just give them good advice? Like, what is the interaction there? What is the education of a life coach?
This is a touchy subject.
Okay.
Only because people will say out in the world, there's not regulation on life coaching.
Gotcha.
And this is where it's really helpful if you're considering a life coach to ask them about their education because there are a lot of people, especially on Instagram and social media, who are like, I'm a life coach because they lost 20 pounds and have decided that they like helping people. Or someone said, oh, you're good at talking to people. You should be a life coach. And they're like, oh, okay. Great idea, but it's not advice. It's not
advice at all. And coaching is about listening first to what someone is saying and really listening around everything that they're saying because I can hear things the way you can't. I can hear the way you say things. I can hear the things you're not saying that are important. And it's my job to strategically ask the questions to help you. And so... The education out there, there are certifying programs. Do you have to get a master's degree like me?
Definitely not. I could have done my coaching certification and not had the master's degree for sure. So there are certifying programs, but if someone is interested in working with a coach, ask them what their experiences are, where their education is from, and just get a little more background because it's not just chatting with people.
And I kind of feel like that might be somebody who's hesitant to get a life coach because they think, I got friends. You know, like they
Right.
tell their opinion all the time. They tell them I'm doing some dumb stuff and some smart stuff. But yeah, it'd be like me playing basketball and my coach just telling me, hey, this is how you shoot a free throw. You flick your wrist and hold the ball like this. Well, that's not really coaching. Coaching is putting me through the reps and sets and coming up with a training scheme to... get me out there on the court, put me in stressful situations and like, that's coaching, just literally
giving advice. I guess there's probably part of that is coaching. Hey, this has worked well, you know, in the personal fitness space, try intermittent fasting, try low calorie, you know, like you are giving some advice, but that's encouraging to hear it's not just talking. Like it's not just somebody who's very knowledgeable. You're actually trying to truly coach. So
Yeah.
I think that that's cool.
And I do think that the key is to hear what you're not saying because that's really important. And that takes a finally, that takes training to really hear that because people who are giving advice or who just decided to be a life coach, they're gonna likely, I shouldn't generalize all the way, but it's gonna be very surface level. And the skill that I've really worked hard to develop and have been trained in is what's beneath
what you're saying. What questions can I ask that will be really beneficial to help you? Because coaching is, I'm not leading you. I'm not leading you to where I want you to go. I'm simply asking the next question to help you think about something, to challenge your thinking, to see what you're going to say, and then to keep doing that repeatedly. And we can get into this in a little bit, but with some people I do Voxer only coaching, which is a voice messaging app back and
forth. And I have a couple of clients who love it because they want to have time to listen to my message. So I will coach in a voicemail, ask questions, give feedback. They'll listen to it and then they have time to listen to it again, write notes, think about their answer. And that's part of, I think people get intimidated by therapy or coaching is they think it's this intense, like we're face to face and I'm a little nervous about
what they might ask me or. If I am going to have the right answer, there is no right answer, but like, will I come up with something right away? So there are other methods of coaching too, that can be really impactful.
Gotcha. What is the actual process? Lindsay, you're awesome. I decided I need a life coach for, pick the reason. What does that look like? Obviously you mentioned Voxer and talking, but what does it normal client, you know, coach relationship slash program look like?
Mm-hmm. So people come in, like I said, with an entry point. They'll say, this is what I probably want to focus on, or I feel stuck, or health and wellness. Usually it's one of those three things. And we'll meet and chat about it, because this is probably me not following good business advice from all the business people in the world. But everyone is individual. So I want to know from you, what kind of interactions do you want? Do you want face-to-face
coaching? because that can happen. Do you want Vox or only? Would that be better for you? How do you want to meet? What works with your lifestyle? What's important to know is that frequency does matter. So in the beginning, it's like when you start a fitness program, if you only go once a week, you'll get fewer benefits. You won't be as consistent than if you go more frequently. So a lot of times with coaching, people will start with, let's say, a couple of sessions a month, and
then they can wean down from there. I have a lot of clients who do like a maintenance session once a month. We've kind of come out of our crisis mode, if you will, not crisis bad, but why you started coaching. And then they'll go down to a maintenance phase where they meet less often. And I do hear from people, I can just hear your voice in my head or they actually get good at asking themselves the questions that I would likely ask.
What would Lindsay ask?
Cool. Yeah. So you also get pretty good at coaching yourself, which is a really important skill.
awesome. All right, are you ready to hear my problem? You ready to coach me?
I'm ready!
Okay, so I'm starting this podcast. This is something new for me. In my entire adult life, I've been a fireman. I've been a fireman for 23 years and I am now, I'm good at it. But I understand that as I'm getting older, the job of a firefighter is a challenging, physically demanding, somewhat stressful, and I can't do it forever. So this... Me starting this podcast, me kind of having a feeling, a calling to help men become better husbands, fathers and leaders is something that I think could
be my next thing. I'm looking ahead five years or so, but I have a really hard time that I'm just a fireman. I don't really run a business. And when I first started this actually, I'll just talk to people and I'll put it out there. And as I did some research and try to get some... information on technical side and actually people running podcasts. What I realized is that if you don't monetize, you probably can't keep it up because
the sacrifice is too much. But I have a really hard time thinking, I'm going to make money with this. How do I move past that block of maybe, you know, call it the imposter syndrome or help me just make some initial steps to like say, it's okay to make this a business, not just a hobby. That is my, that's my crisis or my problem right now.
What part of not being a firefighter worries you?
Just that I don't know what I'm doing. Like I feel like I have an expertise in a certain pretty niche, right? Like I,
What?
like it's very focused. I don't have, just not knowing what people that own businesses do. I've always had a paycheck from somebody else. I've always had, so it's the, not necessarily not being a firefighter, is that it's being something else that I don't know how to do that.
Which I would argue a little bit here is that you do know enough so far. We are on this podcast. You have technology out there. You have started. So now that you've taken that step forward, what is still in the back of your head and why, what's the long-term thought that's the most frightening?
Probably like it sounds weird that you know like people like that's what you're doing now like almost like you're you know, you're a podcaster or you're a you know, I don't know what I don't even know the right word I don't know what word it would be that I don't know what I'm trying to get to become that word But you're you run a podcast. That's what you do for a living or you speak your speaker in front of people they're
Oh, that's what you do?
gonna feel like that's weird like that's a because Literally, and I don't know too many careers. I get introduced to people as hey, this is my friend Danny He's a firefighter like it's my and I don't I don't ever introduce myself. Hi, my name is Danny I'm a firefighter, but people do that my family does that Dan? It's like it's kind of weird like I don't know any like I don't know any accountants. Hey, this is my friend Brian He's an accountant.
Ha
So
ha!
like who I am is part of who I like my firefighting That part is who I am and for me to change that seems weird and that's probably my scary like can I be something else? I've done this for so long, could I actually have a career that pays me enough money to live on that I wouldn't have to be a firefighter? Like that scares me.
Mm-hmm. Isn't it interesting, though, that people do that? We're one of the only places, I believe, in your more well-traveled in other countries that the first thing you have to know about someone is what they do. Like your name and what you do. It's an automatic, you know? And whether people ask you, that's why I've worked a little bit harder when people ask me, like,
on the podcast, tell me about yourself. It's like, well, the default is always to say, like, what we do, which I am clearly not as good at moving past that yet. So when you think about people introducing you, let's even take your parents. How do you think they're going to introduce you if you are no longer a firefighter? Like what will they say?
I have no idea. This is my son. I'm proud of him. My parents are pretty awesome. I don't know. I guess they would maybe mention what I'm actually doing. I don't know if they would understand if I said I'm a podcaster. What that even is Danny, he helps men be better people. That would be, I guess what I would hope they would say. That would be the words that I would, you know, he's leading people. He's a leader. I don't know if they would say that though.
they might just say, oh, it's Danny. He's a, um, this is Danny.
Right, this is my son, this is my favorite son by far.
Yeah, right. Exactly. That's a good enough introduction.
Right.
Personally, very much for you. What does it feel like to think about a day where you would wake up and you wouldn't be a firefighter?
I mean, I, a little scary because I, that's been my whole personality and I, and I probably wouldn't, I probably always be a firefighter in my head. You know, like I would, that's, cause I feel like it's, it's kind of like a calling. And when I, and maybe that's, maybe that's where I'm struggling with, cause I do feel like I was called to be a firefighter. I think I'm good at it. I'm currently leading people, but I think it's giving me the skills, which is taking me to the next level.
because when I was younger, I wanted to be a good, like, tactician. I wanted to know how to get inside the building and move quickly and do a search and do all these details and like tie knots. And as I've gotten older and I've become a leader, because I don't go into burning buildings very often anymore, only when I'm on overtime. Now I'm leading people. And so I'm currently developing those skills and I'm a little bit... With that side of it, I still
feel like I'm a new person with that. Cause I've, you know, it's been four or five years and I feel like I probably need 10 years where I feel like I am good at giving commands, giving orders. So I'm learning that side. And I think that's what's taking me down the road is, Hey, I'm, I am becoming a leader. I know I work. I'm a leader. I get called and asked good and dumb questions all day long. So I think it wouldn't scare me to do something else, but it would just be very strange. That is
that I'm. not leading people from a command car, I'm leading people from an internet screen or on phone calls, coaching or something along those lines. So there's a little bit of just not knowing and insecurity of trying to get there, I guess.
Do you think you have to be one or the other, or can they coexist?
I think they can coexist. I, you know, if I work for another seven years till I'm 50, I'll have been a firefighter for 30 years. That's who I'm, it is who I, it will be, you know, it's who I'm gonna be. So I think they can coexist. I don't think it has to be one or the other.
Mm-hmm. Is it knowledge you're lacking? Is it confidence because of something new? Or is it the scariness of what will the future hold? Like which one of those feels most prominent?
I think it's the scariness for what the future holds. For good or bad, I am a confident person. My wife tells me sometimes I have to tone it back. I'm confident. I see something and I attack it and I accomplish it and I've been successful. So I think it's just the scariness of can I actually do it? I think that's where the imposter center comes in. I can put all this work in or effort. Is it gonna
actually... Will men tune into this podcast in... hear me and well, can I actually make a difference or am I just talking? Because obviously, you know, just talking on a microphone, especially when you don't have like an interview like this is weird.
Mm-hmm.
Room by myself talking to a microphone, will that make a difference? And I really wanted to. I really have a desire to make a difference. So it's scary that might not work. But I guess there's really no consequences. It's just what or maybe what if it does work? What if this becomes super successful? And I have to make a decision sooner than I thought. Because right now I'm looking, you know, when I turn 50, I can start collecting my retirement and then it would be easy to leave.
What happens if this is big in two years and I have to make a decision when I'm 45 to like, and I won't have a pension coming in. But this, so I think it's a little bit of that. It's that scariness of what if nothing happens, which I think realistically I can understand there's no consequences, so it's not a big deal. But if it's successful, that's probably even the I might have to make a decision to leave something that I'm good at or something
that I'm learning. Maybe that's where I'm hesitant.
most people, myself included, we're not scared of failure. It's actually pretty easy to fail. We've done it a lot. We've all done it a lot in small ways and big ways, and we've recovered from it. We have moved past it. We have learned from it. We have moved on. But it's this idea that what if I become a really big podcaster? What if I'm on a stage speaking to 20,000 people? Or what if I have... clients who want to coach with me? Like, what if that happened? And truly, like, what
if? That's a real question. What if that happens? What are you going to do?
Yeah, I don't know. I think that's probably it. That is the question. Am I okay with giving up what I know for the potential for what I'm excited about what the future is? And it would be obviously good, but scary. I'm not a self-employed person. I am not reliant. Next Thursday, I'm getting paid.
Wow, that's so cool. What a novel idea.
I know, I know. I'm getting health insurance, I'm getting all these things, and then that's the scary part. To say yes to what I'm currently going towards, what I kind of have in my mind, means that I have to do scary things. But it's exciting. I think I would. If I could get this to where it is, in two years, I'll have worked for 25 years, and that is a career. I'd be excited about I did my career as a firefighter. Now I'm gonna do my career as a name the thing that I haven't figured out yet.
And I think I could do that, but it would be scary.
I heard a quote the other day, someone said, the most interesting people I know in life are ones who have had three careers. And I thought that was so fascinating. Like three distinct careers they were talking about. And we pigeonhole ourselves into one thing. I am this thing that I started when I was 20. But why can't you be another thing?
That's.
Why can't you roll your skills, like you said, into another thing? I want to go back to one thing you said though. You said, I'm not sure if men will listen. I'm not sure if they'll hear me. I think you do know the answer to that question. Will they listen and will they hear you?
Yeah, I mean, I don't see why not. You know, I think I've got good things to say. I'm interviewing nice people like you. Um, and I know I do. Like I don't listen to the radio hardly ever. I listen to people that are somewhere else that I want to be coaches or, you know, Navy SEALs or things. So I think there's people out there that need what we're talking about. So yeah, I think, I think people will listen. I guess. Yeah, they'll listen. by building.com.
And what evidence do you have of that in your life currently, where people will listen?
Yeah, you know, I've obviously this podcast is not actually launching for another two weeks but I, you know, in my church, I'm in charge of the men's ministry and I've had multiple events where hundreds of people have showed up. Like I do have some evidence and I'm currently being listened to by 30 guys a day when I'm at work. Now they have to because I'm their boss but I think they listen and they pay attention,
if that makes sense. They're actually... So yeah, I do have some, I think I have some proof that I can do what I want to do. or what I'm looking to do. So there's some evidence out there that I could be successful.
Can I walk you through a four point process?
Yes, absolutely.
So when we think about goals, in this case your goal sounds like if we're thinking long-term it would be change careers, have a career, a podcast, maybe speaking, maybe clients, like a more, let's call it a coaching career,
Okay,
correct?
great.
That sound right?
Yeah, it sounds right.
That's the outcome. And we do a lot of goal setting. We're like, okay, how do I get to there? Right, like I see it, that's the goal. And we're taught to do these smart goals where we measure them and we put a date on them and all this and that. But we miss a lot of steps along the way. So I wanna backtrack you to the beginning of this, which is what is the identity you wanna have? Like... Describe to me who you want to be in a little bit more detail in that future. Do you want
to use podcaster? Like just tell me more about the identity of the person you want to be.
Yeah, I would be somebody who is looked to as a trusted resource to either give them information, bring them information, and inspire them to be the people that I know that they can be. So I would like to be a beacon of like, he's doing it, he's normal, he's not special, he struggles with eating too many sweets and all these issues. And he has, you know, he is kind of... brought these resources together and then handed them to you in a track of package that you know, you can follow
along with, you can purchase, you can. So
Mm-hmm.
I'd like to be a resource for men who are maybe a little bit behind me. Like you know, when I have an avatar and he's a guy who just got married, he's got a kid and he didn't have a great home life, you know, he didn't know his dad and he needs some of these skills because he knows he needs it because he's been around those people. I want to be that person for. someone who's maybe 15 years behind me to help them, you know, maybe not make the mistakes I have.
So I want to help influence them to be, be the person they know they can give them those tools. That's kind of my vision for what that would look.
Mm-hmm, which to me, I'm like getting excited when you're talking about that. I'm like, yes, okay, cool. I can see that. I can feel the person that you want to influence, that you wanna help, that you wanna assist. And this is giving me a little more, and hopefully you too, a little more excitement about it, a little more. depth instead of this, I want to be a podcaster or my end goal is to leave firefighting. Like
Right.
different, right? This is the identity of the person. So from there, and this is the key, which you said at the beginning as well, is what are the action steps that you're going to take? And You said, I don't really know business, or what would it be like to be a self-employed person? I'm unsure of what the future holds. And so these are all questions that can be answered. So you can get questions answered. You can interview, talk to people who have a business, ask them all their questions.
You can create a map for yourself. You can figure out all the ways that you're nervous about things, and what might it look like? Not everything, but. As you go through these action steps, publish this podcast, get started, tell everyone that I know I'm doing this. Then the third category is really chalking up some wins, right?
Got you.
Hey, I published the podcast. I learned about self-employed taxes. Oh my God, this is how much health insurance will cost me. I'm going to rethink everything. Never mind. Back to the beginning. And then it will move you towards your outcome. So if we start with the identity, okay, I wanna be this kind of person. Well, what does that kind of person do? Here are the action steps and we can narrow down some cause you said you wanna
leave with some concrete action steps. And then like I said, you create the wins and then it moves you towards your outcome. But the outcome doesn't always have to have a date. And especially
Okay. All right.
in this scenario, if you said, you know, when I'm 47, I'm gonna be done,
Right.
it's so arbitrary. I mean, you say, well, maybe if I worked till 50, that would kind of make sense, but also what if I'm done before that? But if you
Okay.
focus on the identity, the timeline just sort of disappears a little bit.
Yeah. No, I like that a lot because I really don't know. And
Mm-hmm.
so why, and I don't have to. If I knew like at this date, I'm going to be done, I have to have something, that puts a little bit of stress on. And I do like the idea of, I can be successful as soon as I create the identity that I want. It doesn't mean I'm, you know, have, you know, I'm not Joe Rogan with, you know, 20 million followers. It just means maybe somebody, I help somebody. And that's... successful and I like that. I think that's good. That's cool.
And you can embody that identity in your work as a firefighter. It's not as if that's lost either. So you can start to bring both of them together to really appreciate the ways in which you are being that person as a firefighter and bridging it into this next thing and saying, wow, I'm doing this over here. I wonder how I could do that over here.
Oh, that's good. I like that.
So what are these action steps that you think you might need to do to move you closer to the identity?
This is where the coach comes in and all right, running suicides to make, uh, so the, what, what can I do? Well, I know, um, I need to publish the work that I've done so far and I, and I think I'm on track, uh, to do that. So the first action step will be to, I'm going to publish three episodes. Uh, my introduction, introducing myself, uh, a, a solo show I did by myself and then a, uh, interview show. So I'm going to do three. on that first Tuesday in August. So that is my first
launch into the world. But I think, and this is probably a little bit scary, is I need to tell everybody I know and ask them for help. Yeah, like one of my plans is to DM everybody, not everybody, everybody that is in my demographic of who I would like to talk to and say, will you listen to me? And that part is scary because then I'm not Danny Dooms, the firefighter, I'm Danny Dooms
doing this other thing. And that's scary, but I do, I know I need to take that, that step is just literally reaching out. Hey, will you watch an episode and review it on Apple podcasts? So those are the probably the first two things that I need to do to, to move, move forward.
And it's funny a little bit, the idea that we get nervous to tell people something that we're doing. When I could almost guarantee you, people will say, Danny, that's so awesome. I can't wait to listen. Or they
I don't
just
know. They
won't
have.
respond.
Right.
I mean, that's also fine. What I've learned is people are busy. Their non-response does not mean they're not listening to it, or that they didn't acknowledge it, or that they're not excited for you. It means they've got 14,000 things going on that day. But in six months, they might say, oh my gosh, Dani, I listened to that podcast finally. It's so great. Thanks for telling me about it.
It's funny, I literally go into burning buildings and as I've gotten older, I have much more fear of that. When I was younger, I wasn't cocky. I just wasn't smart enough to know this is all really dangerous.
Right.
But it doesn't stress me out anymore. But the thought of doing that definitely does, which is logically stupid. Like it doesn't make, there's no cons, there's no lion that's gonna come and attack me. I'm not gonna fall through a floor and get burned, but it is funny that is like, I consider, I'm gonna tell people. that I'm trying to do something good. And what if they say, that's stupid. And then I know it doesn't matter.
And
But
you
it's,
know they also won't.
yeah, oh yeah, no one's gonna tell me. I mean, I guarantee at work, they're gonna give me a little bit of a hard time, but we make fun of each other for literally, I could give them a million dollars and then make fun of me for, I don't know, something. So I've learned to understand that. So those are, yeah, I think those are my action steps. And, you know. You face your fears and you keep moving on, right?
I want to share something that one of my clients told me, which I will never forget. I invited her, as in I shared what I was doing, a program with her. And I said, I'm doing this program. Would you like to be a part of it? And I was terrified because I'm like, I have to like, no one will do my thing if I don't actually tell them I'm doing my thing. Like, you have to remember that people's lives are so busy and they don't see that one social media post that you made that you think
is you telling the world. Three people saw it, you know what I mean? And so you have to actually share this with people one-on-one. And she said to me, "'I'm so honored that you thought I would be good "'for this program. "'I would love to do it.'" And I just thought, wow, like she's feeling so loved
Right.
by me sharing it with her because I thought it was good for her. And I'm over here being terrified that I'm going to look stupid.
Yeah, it's like I've got a piece of cake. I want to give it to you and then be nervous that they would want to not want a piece of cake like everybody wants you know gluten-free
And if not,
obviously
obviously yes. But we're afraid of what people will say. But in fact, if we're telling people that are in our life, chances are they love us, they appreciate us. And I will also say this, a lot of the judgment people give is from their own insecurity of what they're not doing that they have thought potentially about doing. So I've gotten feedback before, oh, wow. You have your own business. That's awesome. And I'm like, what does that mean?
What are you saying? But people are so like they cannot imagine for themselves a life where there's not a steady paycheck or there isn't a clear cut path. That's not them. And that's fine. But they don't know how to express that. So it comes off a little judgy of what you're doing. And those are things that you just learn over time. But. if one of your action items is to tell people what you're doing, think of it as like a gift to them. Like what if it does change
their life? Your podcast, what if it really turns the corner for them and they're like, Danny, that podcast you did really affected my life and I was able to change this, this and this. What if you didn't even tell them?
Right. Oh, that's, that's huge. Yeah. No, I agree. Lindsay. This is, this is cool. And so this is coaching, right? This is coaching guys. If you like what me and Lindsay just did, um, she is available. Most of you, are you mostly online? Do you do, uh, actually have some face to face? Are you almost all over zoom? What's your
I do with some people locally if they want to meet, but I would say most of my clients are this. And I will say, this is important to know. Know yourself. I am not going to force you into a face-to-face meeting. Some people like just the phone. It's less intimidating. Some people like a face-to-face connection. Some people like that Voxer. So don't be afraid to say, I'm not sure I want to do a face-to-face, but how about a phone call?
Gotcha.
You know, so. I have clients who do coaching in a variety of ways that it works for you.
And how would they get ahold of you to get some awesome coaching like you just gave me?
Yeah, email is probably the easiest way. So it's my name, just lindsayatlindsayhyzerman.com. You can also check it out on my website. I'll send you those links as well, or head over to Instagram at lindsayhyzermancoaching, and I'd love to chat in the messages too.
Gotcha, and I would say if you're in Minnesota and you see somebody with a bacon costume on, Lindsey's somewhere near there.
That's probably true. We like to cause
Maybe in Target with the bacon costume on.
genanigans all over. Yes. That's right.
Yeah, it's an inside joke. If you follow Lindsay on Instagram, you'll probably see what I'm talking about, which you should go do. Because every day you're dropping really good stuff on social media and it's – I listen, I watch – I don't know if it's everything because I don't know how much you're putting out but it's good stuff. Like, it's quality.
Thank
Yeah.
you. Can
Absolutely.
I share one more thing that just from person to, you know, person who's wanting to become podcasting and do the things? I like to think that I'm a pretty fun person. And when I go to do my social media, it's like I freeze. And I'm like, well, I better teach something really important about life coaching. Oh my god. And then I do that. And it doesn't feel quite like people know who I am, right? So funny you say that. Because we'll do dance videos or different things. And the other day,
I was like, you know what? I'm just going to post one of these really dumb dance videos that we do. and it got the most likes and the most comments and the most engagement. And I mean, of course it did because it's lighthearted, it's funny, it's silly, but it's a good reminder to me that like also life's not that serious and I love my job, but coaching is also really fun. Like it's not like this, my life sucks and I need to improve my life. Like it can, coaching can be really
fun. And I like to think coaching with me is fun, but also infuse your personality into it a little bit, which I... I start to forget, but I'm trying to include more of that. So don't forget that.
I do like your knowledge bombs, but the dance videos are pretty epic as well.
Really?
It's good stuff. Cool. Is there anything I didn't ask you that you'd like to get out there before we wrap it up?
Sure, I think that people, how do I wanna phrase this? Coaching can be so valuable, even in a minimum effective dose. And like I said, a lot of people go into sort of a maintenance mode, but knowing that you have a person to say what you really wanna say, and this is probably the one thing about coaching that I did not say, is that I encourage people to be
honest in coaching. And this is why. It doesn't work to have your friends and family be the people that are your soundboards because I will say to clients, tell me what you really want to say. Like really want to say, say it in the exact way you want to say it. Even if you think it's hurtful, even like you have to move the thoughts from your brain out of your body
Yeah.
and coaching you can do that. And then I'll say things like, do you want to do anything with that information? Like do you want to talk about how you could talk to your partner about that? Or does it just feel good to have it out? Half the time it just feels good to say it the way you wanna say it and process it with someone. And then you don't have it stuffed down inside.
Right.
So I think overall I would just say, think of coaching as just a way to support you and for you to be able to really say what you wanna say. And that in and of itself will improve your life.
I like it and I think that's a good place to stop. So guys, if you liked this, contact Lindsay. She's cool. She dances. And if it's not Lindsay, find somebody that you can just connect with. What you just did for me in the next 20 minutes. I think, and you probably know this, I knew those things. But to have someone tell me, hey, you need to take these action steps, or you didn't even tell me that. You just asked me what they were. That's cool. I'm excited. the push to keep
going. So guys go out and do that. If you enjoy this episode, ask you for two things. One, share it with somebody that you know needs this and two put what you learn into action. And remember earn your title every day. I'm Danny Dumas. And I will talk to you later. That was cool. Thank
Thank
you.
you so much.
That was very, very helpful. And I will appreciate my free coaching.
You're welcome.
Another one next week and maybe another one the week after that. You just get me right where I need to go.
Exactly!
Have you heard of the app Heroic? So I just interviewed a guy, he calls it a mind shift coach. He's a friend of mine. I grew up, I went to high school with him. He recommended this app Heroic, which is kind of like a combination of personal development and like philosophy. But
Mmm.
every day you have daily targets, you set your intentions for the day. You know, I'm going to be, there's three things, there's love, energy, and forget the yellow. I just started it three days ago. You set your intentions for the day and then you have some tasks, but he also incorporates the physical side, like
Mm-hmm.
30 hours of fasting, exercising. It's really good. If you have people that need a little daily thing, you should check it out. It's free for 30 days. I think it's like 100 bucks for the year, but it's a good resource. I'm currently working through it. It's pretty solid. Cool.
I like it.
What's your next race?
Well, it really depends what the doctor says when I go for my new next week,
or
so...
you're like, you're going in like, not just like, this is bothering me. Like you might still have a problem.
My physical therapist goes, either something was missed last year or you have a new problem.
the bombers.
Well, that's great. But the next race on the calendar is Tough Mudder Infinity, the eight hour daytime in Chicago at the end of August.
Well, hopefully you can get a lap in or two.
We'll see.
I'm gonna stop the recording. Let me know.