An illegal alien from Guatemala charged with raping a child in Massachusetts. An MS thirteen gang member from Al Salvador accused of murdering a Texas man of Venezuelan charged with filming and selling child pornography in Michigan. These are just some of the heinous migrant criminals caught because of President Donald J. Trump's leadership. I'm Christy nom the United States
Secretary of Homeland Security. Under President Trump, attempted illegal border crossings are at the lowest levels ever recorded, and over one hundred thousand illegal aliens have been arrested. If you are here illegally, your next you will be fined nearly one thousand dollars a day, imprisoned, and deported. You will never return. But if you register using our CBP home app and leave now, you could be allowed to return legally.
Do what's right. Leave now. Under President Trump, America's laws, border and families will be protected.
Sponsored by the United States Department of Homeland Security.
Let's talk about the book.
The book.
So you published a book What Mommy Never Told You? So? What's the meaning behind that title and what's inside the book? Yeah?
So this book took twelve years to write, I wrote.
I finished it maybe three and a half years ago, but it took twelve years to write because I, for a very long time felt like my story hadn't arct so I didn't have that moment where it was like, oh, things got tough, and then she wrote off in the sunset, here's a book to talk about it, right, And so I thought that's what I needed in order to create
this body of work. But what I realized is people have constantly sat down to have this conversation that we're having right now, like what did you How did you go from East New York Brooklyn to working and doing some of the things that you've done and worked in And I was constantly telling the story and I said, you know what, I need to put pen to paper and manuscript my journey. But one of the things that came out of it, and why I titled it the way that I did, is I realized that I'm first
generation for so many things in my life. I was the first to graduate from college in my family. I was the first to go to Europe in my family. I was the first to buy a home in my family. And what I was realizing is there's some things that
my parents just they cannot teach me. You know, as a woman of color, I'm coming from a space of I won't say lack, but I had I had a late start, just coming from East New York and where I've come from, we weren't and we didn't inherit the knowledge that some of our contemporaries and counterparts perhaps are getting from their families and their grandfathers and their you know, those those sorts of experiences. And while my mother did teach me a ton, there were just a lot of
lessons that I had to learn on my own. And this book takes you through the manuscript of my life and the lessons that I learned along the way. So each chapter has at the end the Pittman's Rules, and they're like the ten to twenty things that I've learned about that specific topic, and it's everything from career and finance, to relationships, to self motivation.
To like one of the thing, give us one example of what's in the book that you've learned.
Well, I have something that your mother never told you.
Some of the things that my mother never told me.
I mean, there are tons of examples, but really understanding that you know, as a woman, it's important to have male mentorship as much as it is to have female mentorship. I always I was raised by really strong women and I have a huge girl network. But when I moved into my career, most of my mentors have been men. So people like Keith Kling Scales, as I mentioned, Steve Stout early on in my career, was an amazing mentor that genuinely just wanted to pour into my professional talent,
help me grow as a professional. Sean Combe's amazing mentor, you know, and not being unafraid to develop professional relationships with men is important for women as they continue to move through business.
What's your advice for women navigating male dominated industry? Which almost every industry is male dominated. There's difficulties that come with is you have to think about certain things that men don't have to think about. How to dress right, they're important, how to carry yourself in certain environments. I had this conversation with a female, like, somebody invites you to dinner, it's awkward, right, It could be out to drinks can be awkward. What you wear it could be awkward, flirting.
A variety of different things that you have to kind of navigate through the workplace that there's really no set template or blueprint for it. And like I said, men don't have to worry about that, but women do. And it's like you're probably just one woman or two women and there's ten men. Right, So that's something that people don't really consider, but it's an issue. I've seen it absolutely. So what's your advice for that?
That is a great question.
There's a there's a nuance to the level set that young women need to learn how to initiate very early on.
I think men do.
It sometimes when when men sort of outfit in the room and you set your position in a room full of men.
You guys know what I'm talking about.
You come into a room with ten dudes, You're going to posture in a certain way so that your ranking is governed accordingly, according right.
Right, So the same thing. And I know this from being trained by men.
Right. I was blessed to be trained by men throughout my career. And so there's a way of being as a woman to position yourself as a person of power, a person of respect, no nonsense, but still approachable. And that has worked for me up unto a point until I got to a sort of apex point in my career.
Being very dominant in that way was powerful, but at a certain point it worked against me and I had to start seeking out female mentorship at the executive level because I had to bring back the softness.
Because it was almost like I was competing with the men.
Yeah, exterior was too rough.
It's too rough, and so I had to come into this balance of oh no, no, no, you see me. You see I'm grounded. You respect me. But this is not an alpha contest.
Yeah, see the alpha thing, don't. I don't agree with the alpha thing. I've never I don't like to consider myself an alpha male. I'm just a male.
Yeah.
So I think there's two ways that I've witnessed, like people at the highest level conduct themselves. One in that manner which is like very loud and kind of obnoxious. But you know that this person is level of stature because it's like a mob boss, right, like Johnny Gotty. Like it's like when he walks in the room, like everybody kind of like fears on more has some level of respect for him. So they could be extremely loud or you could be extremely quiet. Yeah, like this guy Jay.
But he's still incredibly alpha.
Yeah, but I'm just saying, but just his demeanor, yea, even more of an introvert quiet. I see that a lot with I see that actually more often, especially like the higher higher like billionaires like them. They're usually very secluded and nonchalant, garden quiet.
But let's make a distinction though, because that doesn't so there's a few things around alpha. I literally mean in the canine sense of alpha, right, So from an animalistic standpoint, when a pack of dogs come together, there's a ranking order that naturally happens, right, So I didn't mean it in the.
Alpha I mean, And it's like.
But then also, alphas are usually not loud in real life.
But I think that term alpha is just confusing because it's like I think, like, if that's really like I love Dan, he's actually a personal friend of mine, that's his personality, but his way of being I think people try to emulate that, like you know what I mean, like and they try to like be loud and stern
and da da da. And I don't necessarily think that's a that's the most beneficial way to communicate with people, absolutely, but I see a lot of people that they think that that way of acting on that way of communicating, asserts themselves as the alpha and asserts themselves as the head. But I think that that's not so. I don't know. I just feel like the term.
Alpha loudness does not equal power.
So what does alpha equate.
To alpha is?
It's an anchoring, it's a it's a knowing, it's an assuredness in your power to affect a situation.
That's what alpha is. It's not necessarily how loud you are.
It's our ability to influence at the highest level and make the decision that people are going to adhere to.
And you don't have to do that with words.
Yeah, a lot of nonverbal communication.
Tons of nonverbal communication. Like I just as a woman, like, I'm not looking at the loudest guy in the room. I want I want to see the guy that's like, you know, laid back and calm and poised and hasn't put together and he's the one, not this one over here, Joe.
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An illegal alien from Guatemala charged with raping a child in Massachusetts. An MS thirteen gang member from Al Salvador accused of murdering a Texas. Man of Venezuelan charged with filming and selling child pornography in Michigan. These are just some of the heinous migrant criminals caught because of President Donald J. Trump's leadership. I'm Christy nom the United States
Secretary of Homeland Security. Under President Trump, attempted illegal border crossings are at the lowest levels ever recorded, and over one hundred thousand illegal aliens have been arrested. If you are here illegally, your next you will be fined nearly one thousand dollars a day, imprisoned, and deported. You will never return. But if you register using our CBP home app and leave now. You could be allowed to return
legally do what's right. Leave now. Under President Trump, America's laws, border and families.
Will be protected sponsored by the United States Department of Homeland Security TOP And.
You brought up the word apex of your career, height of your career. When I hear you speak, I can feel your energy. I feel like you're still in it. So I'm questioning, how are you seeing where you're at presently? Are you where you want to be? There's some more things that you need to check out because I feel like the apex hasn't hit yet.
I agree it hasn't, but I am ascending, right, and so I like to believe you know, you hit that that peak, and you try to ride that peak as long as you can and maybe in my plateau a little bit, and then you hope to hit another peak.
So that's how I think about apex.
And I do think though, that there is a stage in your career. There are stages in your finances right where you've arrived, and then how do you elevate and take it to the next level? Right, so you can become a millionaire. That's great, but then you can become one hundred millionaire and that's really great. Then you could become a billionaire and now like that's something else. Right,
So those are all APEX moments within our lives. And so when I say I hit that apex peak, it's like if I'm in a c suite conversation, that's a different conversation than being a manager or a director, and how people receive us differently.
So when you're saying apex, you can have a.
Few of them.
A few of them, I hope too, and I hope you guys do as well.
So you said something about relationships. I'm interested to hear this because I used to be a financial advisor. Before I did this. When I was a financial advisor, seventy percent of my clients were women, Black women. And I learned something that there's a lot of black women that make a lot of money, like five thousand, four hundred thousand dollars a year. They're like corporate diversity officers that
may SE's and different things in the nature. And then in their mid thirties and they're single and they've never had children. And I noticed that. I started to see a pattern, and I started to realize that this is my philosophy. There wasn't an equal counterpart a lot right, because it's like their counterpart, their age wasn't making as much money, wasn't at that level of corporate. It might have been a good dude, but he's you know, it's a delivery man, right or the person that is at
that level, it is it ready going. It's a righty taken he's already married and has children. So from a relationship standpoint, I started to see that it was difficult for I'm.
So sorry because sorry, my alarm go ahead.
So relationship standpoint, I started to see that it was difficult a lot of times for black women that was rising up that corporate ladder to get into a relationship or to So I don't know what your segment in the book about relationships is, but have you seen that and what's your thoughts on that.
I absolutely have seen that. But I think that there's so nuanced. So there's a couple of things that go into that. I think top line looking at it, Yes, there's not an equal counterpart at every step for a lot of these women at a certain age.
Because men can go down to right like men, you can be forty years old and date the twenty eight year old and nobody says anything. That's another thing that kind of it's hard for a forty year old woman to find the twenty eight year old man.
That she wants to be with, right that because women like to be able to learn from their men and have leadership within their relationship. Traditionally, not all women and so oftentimes men that are younger don't necessarily we have those experiences. Some women do, and they do well in that space, but not not most. But I think it's it's a combination of things. I think it's and you know,
so many people with me. For instance, I'm single, I don't have children, and people ask me like what happened? And I'm a heterosexual woman, right, and so it's like, well, a couple of things happened, you know. I think first and foremost, I always say I spent too much time on the wrong relationships.
That is, I tell any young woman, get in and get out. That's what JA get out.
If it works great, if it doesn't move on as quickly as possible, right, learn a lesson, forgive and move on. So I didn't necessarily do that as often as perhaps I should have. But I also think, you know, being creating a space to date and explore. Women that are are driven in their careers tend to forget about how intentional you need to be about I'm.
Glad you said that they don't have time.
You don't have time. They don't make time.
They don't make the time.
It don't make the time.
They it don't make it because it gets exhausting right when you're when you're constantly coming up against the men that may not be equally yoked.
There's a list of priorities.
Is that how we do we're prioritizing these things like this is more important than this at this present time.
Yeah.
I had a friend that said to me, very very very good friend. She said, you need to approach getting married like finding your dream job the same way and the same way you would go and find interviews and have conversations. You need to find friends that have single friends. You need to be in spaces where there are single men because of the type of man that you want to marry is very unique, so you're not going to just bump into him at a supermarket. You've got to
be intentional. And I thought it was brilliant when she said it. To me way too late, but she, you know, obviously expressed it. I think the same thing happens in some of the situations that you mentioned.
Going back to my financial advisor days, Remember this guy was telling me, he told his daughter that, and he was like, what are you doing to find a husband?
Like?
You can't just wing it. You got to actually treat this thing like you are, like you said, like you're trying to get a job, like you got to actually have a set, planned, blueprint events that I'm going to go to everything.
Well, because the places you're going to run into are so limited at this point. This is the days where I'm going to go to the library, or i might go to the theater and I'm going to the art gallery like it's like I'm in the club.
Is this why we potentially see a lot of interracial couples at higher like the vice president different things to that nation.
I think so.
I think so, you know, people tend to date within their industry or dat and what they're most familiar with and around, and you know, unfortunately, I think that is the case.
And I think that there's a I'm gonna say something a little contra controversial.
But I think that fundamentally, Black youth is not as conditioned to marry automatically the way some other cultures are. Right, that's other cultures effect.
Right, they know they have to get married.
They don't really have a choice.
There's no choice. You're going to get married.
It may not be today, fact it's going to be arranged, or it's going to be arranged for you, and it may not be today, it may not be in five years, but you're going to get married. They also know to be successful, particularly the men in those those culture cultures. Thank you know that having a wife represents something way broader. It represents responsibility, it represents anchoring. Like you think about have we ever had a single president. We've had a
widowed president, but we've never had a single president ever. Right, So there's there's little things that.
Go into societal norms.
Societal norms around being married that don't necessarily exist automatically within our culture. So our young people don't know that we have to get married then, not that we have to, but that it would be beneficial for us to partner
up and do some stuff together in that way. Yeah, I agree, So there's a t we're at a disadvantage initially with the with the mindset, but then we're so busy trying to do it by ourselves we forget to reconnect with each other and do it together and find someone to do it together with.
So and while we're thinking about that at the time, it's passing every day every.
Day, and you're more set in your ways and your your requirements get a little more intricate, and you.
Get more comfortable being by yourself, yes, which makes it harder for you to be a relationship.
And then there's always helpsial media that can comfort you when you're by yourself.
Four things Tender, Oh God, swipe less.
An illegal alien from Guatemala charged with raping a child in Massachusetts. An MS thirteen gang member from Al Salvador accused of murdering a Texas man of Venezuelan charged with filming and selling child pornography in Michigan. These are just some of the heinous migrant criminals caught because of President Donald J. Trump's leadership. I'm Christy Noman, the United States
Secretary of Homeland Security. Under President Trump, attempted illegal border crossings are at the lowest levels ever recorded, and over one hundred thousand illegal aliens have been arrested. If you are here illegally, your next you will be fine nearly one thousand dollars a day, imprisoned and deported, you will never return. But if you register using our CBP home app and leave now, you could be allowed to return legally. Do what's right.
Leave now.
Under President Trump America's laws, border and families will be protected.
Sponsored by the United States Department of Homeland Security,