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So let me ask you this switching gears huh. But also important conversation when it comes to wealth. I know, you know in your life everybody has challenges. You went through a divorce. Oh yeah, so talk about how you can navigate keeping your wealth after a divorce.
I love that, you know, And uh ra shad, that's a book I actually want to write. It's I kind of become a millionaire after divorce because you know, divorce wipes out people financially. It's a complete reset. And you know I went through a divorce. You know kind of at a worse time, at a worse time when you know, my business was in two thousand and two, two thousand and three was the big dot com bust, and I
was into consulting big. I used to work for Delitten, Ernst and Young and I and I was on my own at that time, and clients didn't want to see a consultant after Y two K. They're like, we're tired of spending all this money on advice. And you know, Y two K wasn't as big as it was, and the dot com isn't as big as it was supposed
to be. So business was tough. I mean two thousand and two, two thousand and three and I was in red ink, and that was the same time my ex wife, my son's mothers, and I decide to go our separate ways, and I was left for the half a million dollars in debt from UH with Wills Argle Bank. My line of credit was called because I was using my line
of credit to keep the business afloat. And so, you know, so if you're getting a situation you find yourself getting divorced, I think the first thing that you have to really do is kind of focus on your offense, focus on keeping your income strong, focus on your skills. And then also you have to be steady about what you do with your money because now you have less money to do. And for me, I had to stop paying for my son's college funds, you know, for a few years until
I resorted out my finances right. And my divorce you know, caused me to sell my big house in Oakland Hills and pretty much give her all the proceeds. But I kept my apartment buildings. So if you have multiple assets in your family, what I did with my ex wife, I was like, okay, we've got this, we have this
equity in our house. I'm buying out my apartment buildings, the ones I had in Jersey City back in two thousand and three and in DC, right, So I bought her out of those and held onto those, and there was a year where I could even pay myself. So people think I got a job and I get a divorce, and that's bad, But think about being an entrepreneur getting a divorce, having to split up half of your assets and having to pay alimony and child support and trying
to figure out your life moving forward. But what was really helpful Joy is about, was the fact that I kept a frugal mindset and I was really responsible in doing what I was supposed to do to my ex wife and my kids. So I kept a frugal mindset and I just went low to the ground.
Man.
People wouldn't have known it, but I was not spending money on clothes. I wasn't spending money on anything. But I held on to my investments, and in fact, I figured out a way to convest more because I had assets. So my advice to people going through that is to develop this frugal mindset. You'll lay low and keep moving forward, keep investing your way, and in time you'll see your way out of it. And so and so that's really
really key. And one of the things, like I said, that work for me was buying real estate in Jersey City in two thousand and three. And if you guys live in New York and know what's happening with Jersey City, it's exploded, booming, it's booting, it's booming. So it's a matter of basically, make sure you take care of your responsibility, make sure you do what you have to do, continue to invest, continue to work on your income, and you'll
dig your way out of it. But too many people look at divorces saying I don't want to make no more money because if I do, she's going to hit me up for more child support. I'm like, don't punk out. Just you be responsible, do what you have to do. But get busy in your offense, Get busy building up your income and continue to invest. And although it may not feel like this, ten, fifteen, twenty years down the road, like Steve Jobs connecting the dots looking forward, you'll see
that it worked out. My three boys graduated college, one of them got as NBA and finance know, we have a great relationship. My net worth is gone up probably, you know, probably fifteen twenty times since then because I didn't give up. And that's really what it's all about about the pre nu Oh yeah, well yeah, I hate to air my dirty laundry. But I've been married twice. But anyway, so the first time I didn't have to got divorced twice. I got divorced twice. That's the book.
That's the next book. Yeah, I've been divorced twice, you know, which is interesting Rashad because my second wife, her and I were really still good friends. She worked at my company for a lot of years. She's a lawyer. And what was interesting about is that we came into the into the marriage unequally financially yield, which was challenging. Right, my net worth is here. She was, you know, she was about ten years younger than me, and.
She can you raise your hand a little high and went under the screen.
My net worth was here and hers was down here. So in the prenup, you know which that started. That set the relationship off the wrong foot, right, Huh.
The prenup bore the imbalance in.
The prenup, which it often does, even though women say, well, I'll gladly signed a prenup, that's no problem. Okay, Well, I didn't really know what a prenup was. A lot of people don't know what it really is. So I went and hired an attorney through my recommendations, and my attorney was putting my prenup together and we were getting married and he was running behind on getting it done,
so it was kind of forcing some pressure there. So by the time he delivered the prenup and her attorney reviewed it, she was like, she felt like she really couldn't trust me anymore. She already had doubts anyway, but she really felt like she couldn't trust me. Because what a prenup is is when you get married, there are inalienable rights to a marriage that the state gives you right. And so when you get a prenup, what it's saying is, I'm waving my right to this, his income, I'm waving
my rights to this, his assets. I'm waving my rights to all these things. And you're like, wait a minute, it feels awkward. It's like I have a right for that, and then now I'm giving it away. So a lot of people it kind of blows their mind. Even though there are concessions that says, well, if we got a divorced by this time, you would get this, but hey, you're a lawyer, you make good money. It's like, you know, and you have a child and I got three boys.
So it was very, very difficult. And the moment that we signed it, which was like it was supposed to not be through duress, but it ended up being kind of through dress because she waited until last minute right before we got married. It just put the marriage on the wrong foot. So after dating for ten years and being married for five years, we ended up calling it
quits and my prenup, you know, it held. And so what's interesting is about the prenup is like a lot of people say they want until they read it and their lawyers give them feedback, and it's difficult.
Then her lawyer wanted to go right, her lawyer wanted to write my prenup. After that, she was like, oh no, let me rewrite it. I was like, no, you can't write a prenup to protect my assets, right, yeah, I'm not going to go for that. So it's very complicated and a lot of people struggle with that notion. But look at it this way.
I don't know if you can. I mean, I know you guys have a one son or kid, and I know Troy you have two or three kids. I was thinking, like, I can't get a divorce you have two kids. Okay, I'm sorry, list we married right right too. But the whole point is like if I got a divorce to my second wife and I because I had a will too, because if I died, she was I was going to give her twenty five percent of my assets. The other
seventy five percent was going to my son's. But if I died and my assets went to her without a prenup, then and my sons could have had a situation where she wouldn't have paid for their college. My sons could have been in a situation where they've got nothing. So my rationale for a prenup was, you know, my sons are everything to me. There's no in the word I'm gonna work this hard and not like my dad say, have them start from my shoulders, yep, not from the ground.
So I needed to make sure that they were taken care of, and that was the crux of the peanup. What's interesting is there's three sides of her peanup. There's my I'm make sure my hands on the camera. There's my assets, her assets and hours. And so how it goes is my assets could continue to grow, right, and I would still own them as long as they were they were they were titled to me. And then her assets would do the same thing, right, she had a
condo that would continue to grow. But if we titled assets together, that's what we would split, and that's how it was written. So we never really had any assets together. So therefore we got a divorce. I kept my assets, she kept hers, and I entered the concession part of my prina. But it's an interesting thing, and it really sometimes damages relationships because people start looking at you like do you trust me or whatever. We end up divorce, we end up good friends. She stayed in my company
for a lot of years. She's now a tech lawyer for major government contracting businesses because she worked in my business. And I raised her daughter like my daughter. So it's like, you know, it's all good, but that's the challenge.
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