An illegal alien from Guatemala charged with raping a child in Massachusetts. An MS thirteen gang member from Al Salvador accused of murdering a Texas man of Venezuelan charged with filming and selling child pornography in Michigan. These are just some of the heinous migrant criminals caught because of President Donald J. Trump's leadership. I'm Christy nom the United States
Secretary of Homeland Security. Under President Trump, attempted illegal border crossings are at the lowest levels ever recorded, and over one hundred thousand illegal aliens have been arrested. If you are here illegally, your next you will be fined nearly one thousand dollars a day, imprisoned, and deported. You will never return. But if you register using our CBP home app and leave now, you could be allowed to return legally.
Do what's right. Leave now. Under President Trump, America's laws, border and families will be protected.
Sponsored by the United States Department of Homeland Security.
My question is this idea of like the Boss Chick and you know, independent black women, and has.
That has it served us? Is that the question out?
Or is it is it destroying the black family ecosystem.
I think you have to say on some level it's destructive to a traditional black uh family ecosystem. I think just the facts bear that out right. So that's not feelings, that's not subjective, that's just the reality is. As you just pointed out, Uh, there is a huge numbers gap between Black women that are buying homes at almost twice the rate of single Black men that are graduating from undergrad and professional schools at sometimes six seven times the
rate of our brothers. And by the way, if you ask most Black women, that's not something that we enjoy or appreciate, Like, it's not a situation. And I think that's another misconstruction and a and a miss assumption that black women are out here strategically competing against black men. No, sir, we most of us want to be in relationship with black men, and so it's in our interests, even selfishly, so not necessarily from this altruistic place of oh, we
just want to see our brothers succeed. There's that for sure, but there's a self interested element of that right that says, if I'm a black woman and I want to have black children with a black man and live in a house with a black husband, and do and buy properties and travel the world and enjoy my life alongside a black man. I would like him to be similarly positioned to me socioeconomically, so that that partnership feels comfortable and feels safe from a fiscal place and maybe some other
places too. So let me just spend a little time on that, because I was talking to a very good girlfriend of mine, who's one of your typical clients, as you describe, for early forties, making, you know, five hundred k plus single to death. And there's a lot of thought that women like her myself even of course, are materialistic.
And that's why when we say we are attracted to this type of man, or we prefer to date this kind of man that has similarly Notice not hardly any of us are saying we need a man to make more than us, or we need a man to take care of us, or we need a man to pay our bills. No, no, really, truly, hand to God, we really just really would love to be partner with someone who is similarly positioned.
Well, let me interject one thing, because this this is going to be controversial, but this is this is I
think important. So The problem with this is that, all right, so a thirty five year old single woman who's making four hundred thousand dollars a year, right, and that they're looking for that equal counterpart, and that that makes sense, right, But it's like, the difficult part about that is that the equally yoked man who's thirty five that's making five hundred thousand dollars, he's probably already in relationship's probably married.
The ones the ones that's not married, they're not necessarily looking for somebody that's thirty five the twenty eight year old. So now it's like, okay, you're either forced with a decision to just remain single or look down. Now there is the truck drive. Now is the ups man who's a great man, but who's making eighty thousand dollars a year, right, Because now it's equal, it's hard to find that equal counterpart. Men. You could be fifty years old and it's not The age doesn't really matter.
And I've said this and this is controversial, right, that because of the way society values gender roles, right, So the way in which we find a woman attractive, what are we really talking about under that? And it doesn't hurt my feelings. Let's just say it people across the spectrum culturally, but we're talking about black people. So let's let's center that Black women are assessed around our beauty, our esthetic, physical beauty, and there's biological reasons for that,
and our fertility and our youth. Those are the main things that a man is going to be assessing when deciding if you are for him. And then it's going to be the quote soft skills. It's gonna be do you make him feel loved, you know, cater to loyal, Are you relatively non confrontational, not too much pushback or challenges around ideas and decisions, And those are the things that would really make you just highly desirable in the dating market as a woman. Now let's go to men.
What makes a man highly desirable in a dating market. It is going to be financials. It's going to be your ability to provide financially and fiscally. It's also going to be your physical is kind of your stature, Like there's a reason why you know this six sixty sixth thing. I think that's really corny, but whatever, But there's a reason why a lot of women will swipe right on men that are at least five ten six feet. You know, they want to feel there's some physical dominance coming from
a man. Then you've got, you know, just kind of age. There's a reason why older men like you just said, bro like fifty plus, that's not a deterrent for most women because that presumes more stability. That presumes you've lived life longer, and you can probably protect and know and help and navigate these spaces better and more effectively than I can in my youth. So you're right. Kind of the way in which we assess and evaluate value as
men versus women create and inherent conflict. I will add one little caveat though, to the scenario you laid out where you've got these thirty four.
This episode is brought to you by P and C Bank. A lot of people think podcasts about work are boring, and sure they definitely can be, but understanding a professionals routine shows us how they achieve their success little by little, day after day. It's like banking with P and C Bank. It might seem boring to safe plan and make calculated decisions with your bank, but keeping your money boring is what helps you live or more happily fulfilled. Life, p
and C Bank Brilliantly Boring since eighteen sixty five. Brilliantly Boring since eighteen sixty five is a service mark of the PNC Financial Service Group, Inc. P and C Bank National Association Member fdiic Erners.
What's Up?
You ever walk into a small business and everything just works like The checkout is fast, the receipts are digital, tipping is a breeze, and you're out the door before the line even builds Odds are they're using Square. We love supporting businesses that run on Square because it just feels seamless. Whether it's a local coffee shop, a vendor at a pop up market, or even one.
Of our merch partners.
Square makes it easy for them to take payments, manage inventory, and run their business with confidence, all from one simple system. If you're a business owner or even just thinking about launching something soon, Square is hands down one of the best tools out there to help you start, run and grow. It's not just about payments, it's about giving you time
back you can focus on what matters most ready. To see how Square can transform your business, visit Square dot com, backslash, go, backslash eyl to learn more that Square dot com backslash, go, backslash eyl, don't wait, don't hesitate. Let's square handle the back end so you can keep pushing your vision forward.
An illegal alien from Guatemala charged with raping a child in Massachusetts. An MS thirteen gang member from El Salvador accused of murdering a Texas man of Venezuelan charged with filming and selling child pornography in Michigan. These are just some of the heinous migrant criminals caught because of President Donald J. Trump's leadership. I'm Christy Nohm, the United States
Secretary of Homeland Security. Under President Trump, attempted illegal border crossings are at the lowest levels ever recorded, and over one hundred thousand illegal aliens have been arrested. If you were here illegally, your next be fine nearly one thousand dollars a day, imprisoned, and deported, you will never return. But if you register using our CBP home app and leave now, you could be allowed to return legally. Do
what's right. Leave now. Under President Trump, America's laws, border and families will be protected.
Sponsored by the United States Department of Homeland Security.
Five and up. Women who've got these big incomes and degrees and all this stuff, but we're not necessarily as desirable to the men that are our age and financial equal. Which is why personally I enjoy dating older men because at forty, if I'm dating a man who's fifty six, there's more likelihood that he will appreciate some aspect of youth around me. That same fifty six year old get a twenty eight year old. It's possible, But this is
I'm living this. I'm not just talking and writing about it, guys. I'm out here living this, and I have been for the last five or so fourish years since ended my engagement. I do find that that that can be a sweet spot for some women that are in that like thirty eight to forty five year old range, you know, dating older men can kind of give you back some of that advantage you.
When I'm listening to it, I'm trying to figure out there's plenty of women who are in that scenario right now when we're talking about socio economic factors. Is that the compromise, or even I only want to use the word of compromise, is that I think you better think about it.
I think you damn sure, because I got girlfriends that and sorority sisters that don't like to date those men. There is exactly what you said. They want their forty they want a date a forty year old they want they don't have kids. They don't want him to have kids. Right. So one of the reasons I'm sure we'll get into this. You guys know, I've been very public that I am deep into my single motherhood by choice journey. I'm having my child as we speak, like that process is well underway.
And one of the reasons I'm doing that is because I date older men. And you know what older what the situation of older men are. They've had their child, their children are grown, their children might even be in college or beyond. So a fifty six year old man, even a fifty eight year old man, is not inclined to want to change Pampers and warm bottles. Okay, he's
still right. So I'm not gonna say because I was doing that, Like before I decided to do this journey, I was like thirty seven, thirty eight, and I was dating these like fifty two fifty three year old guys, a lot of them in finance, a lot of them, you know, having businesses, and they were like, love you, definitely would be with you, would even marry you, but baby, oh no, no no. So I kept running into that like there were like three guys in a row if that was the scenario. So it's like, now I got
a decision to make. How bad do I want to be a mother? I had to assess that because if that's kind of optional, then what he's proposing is a good scenario. You know, let's go live life and I still boss out and be this great career woman and we travel and go to the Saint Bart's and say tape and live a great life. But if I really want to be mother, and I do, I had to make a different decision, which is, let me go have
my child and then we can come. We could have more of a companion relationship with these older guys that have already raised their children and lived their lives. And that's probably the path I'm on. But yes, to the front end of your question, what do we do as relative middle aged Let's say that, let's just own it, right, middle aged black women who are highly educated with these high incomes based on societal averages, we've essentially priced ourselves
out of the market. And when I say, I mean in a lot of ways, we priced ourselves out of the market in terms of our incomes many of the time, because think about it, like, let's just talk. You guys are numbers guys for real, Right, When you're talking about making five to seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars a year in some cities, you're talking about being in the one to two percent of income earners of the whole society as period, not just as black women, like period.
Like when you make seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars a year or more in New York City, you're earning in the top one percent of New York City even compared to white men, compared to black men, compared to anybody. So now that's a small pool anyway. And now you're telling me that I want somebody that's earning in the top one percent alongside me, and I want him to, you know, potentially not have children and want to have
more children than it's too much. So, yes, we do have to start making strategic whether you want to call it compromises or settling or mister good enough or I don't give a dad what you call it, but we have to start deciding what's important. So for me, being a mother is important for me, maintaining a high income so that I can maintain autonomy and the ability to say no to any shit I don't want to tolerate. Is it just I don't give a damn who feel
away about it? It's important to me. Money is power, no matter who has it. You better know that. Okay. How many women right now or men are in domestically violent situations because they don't have the capacity financially to leave and go anywhere else. They you know, would love to leave an unfulfilling relationship because I love how people always act like people that you know are in that middle to low income range. They're all good people. They
all love their mamas, and they're all perfect partners. Right, get the fuck out of here. No unhappy, right, Let's stop that Tyler Perry bullshit. What the reality is a lot of them are unhappy in those relationships, just stuck together.
We just woke about this.
Literally, they fiscally. Look at these interest rates, Look at these rental rates New York. Because I was paying six thousand dollars a month rent for a one bedroom apartment. Get the hell out of here, So let me go ahead and get this mortgage situation going. So you know, those are some of the things. So you can't have it all. I don't care who you are, man or woman, but you can have a lot of what you want if you're willing to tell the truth about what that is and what that looks like.
An illegal alien from Guatemala charged with raping a child in Massachusetts. An MS thirteen gang member from El Salvador accused of murdering a Texas man of Venezuelan charged with filming and selling child pornography in Michigan. These are just some of the heinous migrant criminals caught because of President Donald J. Trump's leadership. I'm Christy Noman, the United States
Secretary of Homeland Security. Under President Trump, attempted illegal border crossings are at the lowest levels ever recorded, and over one hundred thousand illegal aliens have been arrested. If you are here illegally, your next you will be fined nearly one thousand dollars a day, imprisoned, and deported. You will never return. But if you register using our CBP home app and leave now, you could be allowed to return legally.
Do what's right. Leave now. Under President Trump, America's laws, border and families will be protected.
Sponsored by the United States Department of Homeland Security,