097: Doing the Hard Thing

Last week , I got to go to a Spartan race . I did not race . I was there with 12 guys cheering them on , supporting them , and a lot of them .

It was their first Spartan race and it was the Spartan Beast , which is 13 miles , 30 obstacles , muddy , rugged terrain , and it was beautiful out , and then it was raining , and then it was beautiful out and it was muddy , and they all finished . A lot of them listen to this podcast .

So congrats , guys that raced finished and I've been through seven Spartan races been doing it since 2021 . And after the first race , I wanted to help other guys complete races and next week I'm going to launch a training program . Me and my buddy , Craig are going to launch a training

program to prepare for an obstacle course race . That's what these Spartan races are called . They're savage races . There's Tough Mudders . We're going to launch a program to train for an obstacle course race and then we're going to travel together to complete it and it's in Carolina . It's in November , so look out for that . That's going to come out next week .

You'll get it if you're on my email list . If you're not on my email list , get on the email list . That's going to be a cool way to get excited this summer . Put something on your calendar train , get your body in better shape to do a race together . So look out for that .

Today's episode we're going to talk about doing hard things and not a Spartan obstacle course race . That's not the hard thing that we're going to talk about today . I had a client that during our session .

He said I want to stay motivated to do the hard thing , and when I asked him what that meant , he said the hard thing is not getting impatient with my kids meant . He said the hard thing is not getting impatient with my kids .

It's being at family activities events that I don't really want to be at without getting frustrated or grumpy or cranky , and I think this is something that a lot of us go through .

I was listening to a Tim Ferriss podcast and he was interviewing this author , brandon Sanderson , and they were talking about how a lot of high-performing guys I think it was Brandon that said feel like when they're with people , they're not really with people , because our brain is always thinking about the next thing we have to do

or where else we would rather be , and the problem with this is that it takes away from us being present , us being in the moment . There's some quote that's like our worry about tomorrow takes away from our joy today . So back to my client .

When I asked him what does it take to do this hard thing , to not be impatient , to not get frustrated , enjoy the moment more , and he said it's slowing down , it's knowing how to let go of needing to do more . And I thought that was so spot on , because I hear so many guys say that they push , that they got to keep going .

There's a lot going on right now . It's a grind . I just got to keep pushing it . And that mindset creates a lot of financial success . It can create a lot of success training and getting your body ready for a Spartan race or some kind of physical challenge .

And the same guys that want to push , that want to grind , they're the ones that aren't getting great sleep . They're the ones that are bringing outside stress and anxiety into the home life .

They're really busy , they're pushing , they're working late hours , but it's not effective hours , they're not efficient hours , they're putting out fires all day , they're go , go , going . And that part of us a lot of guys will identify as that kind of guy that just keeps going , the a type .

But that's not all of us and I'm not saying to get rid of it , but we want to access a different part of us , the part that can slow down . And we all have it . We all have it in us .

Because when we slow down , when we access that part , that's when we can think clearly , we can think creatively , we can use our prefrontal cortex , the part of our brain that makes us human , frontal cortex , the part of our brain that makes us human , to plan ahead , to connect with our wife more .

It allows us to play with our kids instead of always being in a rush . So I'm not saying get rid of the push , the grind , the part of you that likes to work late , don't get rid of it . But that's actually the easy thing to do To just stay there and keep pushing , keep grinding . That's easy .

The hard thing , the new hard thing to do , is to not obey that voice . It's to have the urge to do more to get the next thing done , to keep going and instead pause .

Because when you don't obey that voice , there's stillness , there's calmness and that's where we can connect with our wife more , where we can listen more easily , where we can play with our kids can listen more easily , where we can play with our kids At work .

It's where we can stop , pause , look at our to-do list , prioritize correctly and then focus and get more stuff done . We want to quiet this voice . So how do you do it ? You start to realize that you are not that voice Now .

You start to realize that it's chatter in your brain and although we tie a lot of our identity to being productive and our financial success and success in our career and checking things off the list , as much as we identify with that being of value to us , we have to realize that that's not all of us . It's a voice in our head .

So , to get to know that part better , we're going to practice it , because a lot of the time on this podcast I teach lessons and I give examples , but what we don't do on this podcast is actually practice . So we're just going to do it .

We're going to learn how we get to know that voice , and what we're going to do is we're going to do a short , five minute meditation that really allows them to separate from that part of themselves

. That is successful , does help in this world , but doesn't help when it comes to interpersonal relationships , doesn't help when it comes to taking care of themselves . So if you're driving unless there's somewhere you really really need to be , pull over , try this out .

If you're walking right now or working out , just stop and you can stand while you're doing this meditation . And if part of you is like I don't have time for this , I'm not going to try this . This is stupid . I've never meditated before . I'm going to go , listen to something else .

That might be the voice that's always telling you to go , go , go , and this might be a challenge , right Right here for you to meditate . All right , won't take more than five minutes , and we're going to start by looking around us .

So look at your surroundings , look up down , over your left shoulder , over your right shoulder , over your left shoulder , over your right shoulder , and then , if you want , you can close your eyes , and if you want to just keep your eyes open , you can just lower them towards the ground .

Lower your view towards the ground and we'll take two breaths together , trying to breathe into our lungs and filling up the chest .

So breathe in and out , another one into the , into the chest , into the lungs , breathe in and out and just start to feel some calm , start to feel some relaxing and put all of your attention down into your feet , feel your toes down into your feet , feel your toes , the tops of your feet , the bottoms of your feet , your heels , and then feel your shins , your

calves , feel your knees , put your attention in your thighs , your hamstrings , your glute muscles , your hip flexors , and then see if you can just relax everything from the waist down .

And then notice your stomach , notice your lower back , feel your rib cage , feel your lungs , your heart , your upper back , breathe in and exhale and relax your shoulders , relax , relax your arms , biceps , triceps , elbows , through your wrists , your fingers . Soften , soften , relax your throat and your neck .

Soften your jaw , soften your eyes and the muscles around your eyes , relax the brain , relax the back of the head . And then zoom out to your whole body , from your head all the way down to your toes , and imagine there's a box to the left of you on the ground .

It's an empty box and we're going to put in that box everything that we're thinking about , everything that's already happened today , everything that needs to happen , Anything you're worried about , just one by one , put it in the box , just one by one .

Put it in the box and actually see yourself taking it and placing it in the box , and then we're going to move that box a little bit to the left and you're going to notice that you're feeling a little calmer , a little lighter , a little slower . Notice your breath .

That box we're not pushing it away forever , but right now we're letting those things go and any sense of ease that you feel and any sense of ease that you feel . This is the space that we need to create more .

This is the hard thing that we have to learn how to do as men , because from here , we can play more with our kids , we can be present and empathize with our wife , we can delegate a task without worrying that it has to be perfect , letting go . All right , I'm going to leave you .

You can stay here for a little if you want , or you can move on with your day , appreciate you being here , as

always . Thank you , and I will catch you next time . You .