Tyler Gerig: Enneagram Type 1 – S4E11

On this episode, we're doing another deep dove into the Enneagram. You're listening to the Dudes and Dads podcast, a show dedicated to helping men be better dudes and dads by building community through meaningful conversation and storytelling. And now here are your hosts, Joel Dumont and Andy Lane. Oh, Jell. O, Andrew. Oh, man. It's good to be back in studio with you. Yeah, man, we're. We're doing. These. You're Mike. You're. Mike's a little. A little here. I'm a little. They're everywhere.

Leave it at that. Hi. Yeah. Hey, guys. Everybody, welcome back to another episode of the Dos and Dads podcast. Glad to have each and every one of you with us. As always. And this episode this evening that we're recording. We've been. We've been.

Which we will do for this season and possibly into the next, diving back and forward into our Amy Graham conversation, because every once in a while we find the perfect guest that really, shall we say, fully exhibits all of the wonderful characteristics that are found in each of those Enneagram types. And friends, if you haven't already done so,

we really introduce the Instagram conversation on this season, just a few episodes with our good friend Meghan Spon Cellar, who we sat down, had an interview with her as she released her Enneagram handbook that she published last year, and that's coming at it. For those of you that are listening, you can't see. But the for the video I'm showing, I'm I don't know how to show this on the camera correctly because everything's backwards. Okay. There we. Go. You just have a mirror.

Just it's a mirror. It's a mirror. But Megan wrote this really, really helpful handbook. And so we had her and we talked and kind of did a larger conversation around what the anagram is, where it comes from, why it's helpful, all that stuff. And then we really think it's going to be a fun thing to do

as we find other folks who fit. The numbers. Fit the numbers, who embody the numbers, who who know how to talk about their number in a way that is, well, what is called interesting, riveting, informal, informational, transformational. All the all the Asian all the Asian non-sports. Right. All right. But whatever the Asian is. Yeah. So just so again, I would encourage you to check out a few episodes back.

Check out the interview with Meghan and but just as a general review, when we're talking about the Indian gram, we are talking about you can call a personality type assessment. It's a. Tool. It's a it's a tool.

It's a tool that's good. And there are nine different types, one through nine, that exhibit certain kind of key, key behaviors. But here's the bigger thing beyond behaviors. What I like about the anagram as a tool is that it speaks to the internal motivations of a person, not just through external behaviors, which sometimes can be hard to interpret why people do the things that they do like as we observe it outside, it's sometimes it's hard. It's hard to know.

Yeah, my wife is constantly asking me why I'm doing the things that I'm doing. And I don't always have a good I always have a good reason. And then I'm constantly asking my own children, like. Doing what. They're doing. Why are you doing that? And they don't know. They don't know. So behaviors are sometimes it can be a little bit misleading. But when we talk about internal motivations. This is the. Stuff of people.

And we found that the Enneagram is a great tool for that and kind of able to help us better and deepen our relationships because it yeah, it just helps us kind of talk about that and understand why we do what we do. And so it's what we do and then it's what we, what we do with others, how we interact with other people too. So it's helpful in discussing the dynamics of relationships, and that's marital relationships, that's other family relationships.

Friendships are work relationships which will we'll our guest this evening will we'll dove into eventually the work relationship thing. That could be that could be spicy. Yeah. Yes, some hot text. I think. First of all, we definitely want to kind of just touch on it. So tonight we're going to be talking about the Enneagram type number one. And we want to kind of go over a little bit what that is, what that looks like.

And then we'll bring our guests in to kind of talk about how he experiences his oneness. And how I experienced this one. But first, I do want to remind you guys that we are streaming live on Facebook tonight. And if you would like to put a comment in and we can bring it right on the show and talk about your comment, you. Know what could be better than a Sunday evening or recording on a Sunday evening or Sunday evening, a multimedia jam fest over here? Absolutely. That's fun to chat with us.

If you are on watching and we love to get your comment on with us. What we would. Well, hey, Andy, we've got to we we what we don't want to forget is our lovely, lovely sponsors. So first we want to say thank you to our friends at Evan's support comes from evidence financial helping individuals and organizations combined faith and finances through retirement planning baking. They say baking, he said. Baking. Baking, banking.

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Banking and baking and. Whatever you can do as a guest. If you think. We've never done this before. And nailed it. And the thing is, it's written down and the. Only. I don't know what we're it's okay. It's going to be it's all uphill from here. Hey, without further ado, though, we do want to welcome

our guest, our friend, new friend of the show, Tyler Gehrig. Hello, Tyler. Hey, how's it going? Oh. Good. PGA championship rate. We're talking about type one. Yeah. So Tyler and Tyler is a type one. He's one of these. These is the one number one which he reminds us of frequently. The reason I know Tyler is Tyler is our middle school pastor at Walker is a missionary church where. I'm also a. Pastor take a. Hundred percent.

Of the middle schoolers, Andy, and he knows a thing or two about working in the middle school. I did. He used to do some middle school work here, you know, I mean, as a hamlet, said a support person, which is true. I was not a paid pastoral staff. I was. You should have you should have done. That's that's my fault. And I'm sorry. You know, so Tyler. Yes? Welcome again, Tyler. Uh, we, we've had lots of conversations, actually, about Instagram stuff.

So Tyler, let's just start with the the dude stats this evening. Tell us again who in the heck you are, where you come from. You can tell us about your family, your illustrious educational background, all the things we want to know and go. Oh, sure, yeah. I grew up in Woodburn, Indiana, just outside Fort Wayne Moon in Elkhart. Right now. Yeah. I went to Bethel College to get my degree. So in Christian ministry, Christian. Ministry, you. Got a real nice.

Youth ministry. Thank you. I got a real degree. That's right. And Christian ministry shots fired. People that I listenership just took it. I was. No, that's fine. I was looking to the future. That's right. Good for you. Well, trying to be a well-rounded minister. Absolutely. Yeah. So you've got family? Yeah. Who are those people? No wife, no kids. But I got a mother and the stepfather. Some siblings? Mm hmm. Yeah. All good times. Oldest of all of them.

You are the oldest, which is good for a for a type one, two. Hundred. Percent. He's got things that he. I don't think I've ever met. A type one who's not oldest are only. Ooh, that's interesting. Yeah. That's, that's an interest that. So there's a birth order component I'm. Sure they're out there but never met him. So if you are, we'd love to hear from you. Yeah. If you're a type, if you're a type one and, and like the third child. Break the stereotype. Yeah. It's would love to hear from you.

I don't know if it's possible to be type one and youngest child. Yeah. Probably not. I don't think so. No, you're going to be. That's interesting. Yeah. What are the youngest child? We have so many questions. So many questions answered, Tyler. So here's here's the deal. Uh, you obviously got connected with because we've had extensive conversations around like Enneagram stuff and what, like, what got you into it to begin with?

I mean, it started making the rounds at Bethel about my sophomore junior year, so we were kind of getting into it, you know, taking the free online test. Yesterday. And figure it out. And I just kept bouncing around. I was a two at one point and an A and then like someone's like, you might be a one. I said, my room is too messy for that. Yeah. No, just got to do it pretty extensively later in my college career, just trying to build.

Do we want to touch a little bit quickly on what one incorporates first and then we can. 100. Percent? I think that that'll help for our listeners to be able to hear kind of what one is and what kind of. Yes, yes, yes, yes. So and again, just as big shout out to Meghan and her her book here, because I'm actually using just directly like a quick a quick summary of the type one. So ones are with the any gram or frequency were referred to as the reformers of being a reformer.

So they're they're clean and tidy. And that's why Tyler makes a joke about the room door. But what dorm room is put is well put together. I'll tell you, they are very innovative people, ethical and balanced. So really, really concerned with like doing the right thing. Like that's really, really important as well with us too. It's like, whatever feels good, we're not even concerned about. That's a joke. So they're ethical, imbalanced, tend to be very organized, detail oriented, professional.

They do have a perfectionist side which which Tyler will tell us is that's that's his struggle right there, like. The worst title. It's the. Perfectionist. You don't see he's going to get some pushback. I don't like it. But they're they're busy and hard working. The basic desire of a type one is to be balanced, good and ethically moral and then their basic fear is, on the flipside, being bad, being evil or being wrong a hundred. Percent. Yeah. All right, Tyler.

Tyler tells me so many times, it's like I I'm concerned that I might being be in my evil today, because if I am, I need to I need to get it. I need to get in check and. Take care of worried about my evilness. And still. Be worried about the evil. So that's kind of the you kind of get the sense, right? They're driven people, they're focused people, they're organized people. You've got a lot of type ones. Like what kind of jobs type ones do? Tyler Like what?

What where do they where do they where do we see them in the marketplace? I mean, they're going to. Be probably. They're probably going to be more of your people that are like in the books, like doing stuff because they're like, there's this way to do it. Your counsel sometimes you're going see a lot of those because there's math. Math is always like there's there's no right or wrong. There's only a right way to do math. Gotcha. You know. Yeah. You're going to see a lot of those people.

They're actually like, you might see them in humanity stuff because caring about being right in for the right thing to happen, not so much like an eight where it's about justice and injustice, but like for one, they're they really care heavily about the right or wrong, like proper instruction. Like, you know, the right thing and you know what? The wrong. Thing. That's all. It is.

So I was like, I was explaining before our show, so I was listening to a podcast earlier today about the ones and I am a to wing one. And I was like, Oh, like that's interesting because that's the same thing when you said, you know, I'm not a one because my room is messy, like messy. But that's a very bothers me. Like I wouldn't say I would say wing one so I'm not straight up one. But it was interesting cause I was like, Man, when things are out of order, they're not okay.

Yeah, yeah. It's interesting. Disturbance in the fourth. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense. So obviously there's, there's some the general descriptions about how we've obviously how we've laid out laid out the ones for you personally. Like if you were to personally describe yourself in light of your Enneagram number in might in light of one, like what? What do you tell people? What what kind of things do you you tend to highlight with your own personality?

I can be very critical, which is like a good and bad thing. Oh, sure. Always comes across as a bad thing, though. Like when you say, yeah, I can be a pretty critical person, but more so like I see a lot through like the veil and I can see a lot of like the good and the bad, right and wrong of what's going on. And I think like personally, I'm able to pinpoint like, hey, this could be better here and that like what part of the oneness is really like where the credit can thrive.

Let's just talk about that a little bit. Tell me what that looks like for you. Like if you if you're in a situation where you see right or wrong, does that something you stand up for or does that like it really doesn't bother you? Or how does that does it work out for you. Working with middle schoolers? I get to practice it a lot. It's it's fantastic. You know, I just like, stop throwing stuff at each other. Like, sometimes as simple as that.

But I really like especially working with middle schoolers, like spiritually, where they're learning a lot of this here and they're like seeking these answers. I get this step in a lot and really, like, point out, like, hey, like this, you know, gossiping, you know, it's a big thing culturally. But like, you know, let's let's talk about how that is like a sin and it affects, like, our lives and our friendships and all that stuff.

So being able to see through those like those negative concepts, it can come across like I'm only thinking about the bad things, but it's really because I'm trying to get to things. Yeah. The way I like, I think I appreciate about Tyler is like there is a, I'm like, wow, he's really direct. There's like really direct with that thing that he was especially to especially the middle schoolers. But as, as we all know, having like you and I having middle schoolers ourselves. Yeah. Sometimes direct.

Is just something that's what you have to. Do just the best way. Because if you, if you try to like, if you try to kind of like, you know, dance around it with the middle with a middle schooler. Can't. You just it's like there's their ability to be indirect is not it's not good. You have to be like really concrete in, in a really particular way. So that can be a really yeah, it can be a really, really helpful thing.

Okay. Before we move on, I want to remind people, if you're on live with us, feel free to make a comment in the comments section and we can if you have a question for Tyler or Joel or. Oh, yeah, I'll go ahead and answer that right away again, guys. And he just keeps up in the game technology wise. Here we're getting very interactive and I love it. So go ahead and comment and then we can bring it on. Beautiful, beautiful. Okay. So there's okay.

So in light of your in light of your directness, your general personality, like what is like have people pushed? Like if people push back with you and then like. Like I've made people cry. Like, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah. And like, just get called out by I've been a few times called out by people like, hey, that was really mean. So what happens to you personally when, when that happens, like you take that well or does that really affect who you are for a while?

Well, depending on who it's from. But yeah, usually that like that hurts because because it's like, no, I saw something that needed corrected and yet like because there's that sense of like, I don't want to be the mean person. I'm just like, I think I'm being the nice person. And to you, that's your, you know, you're calling out the wrong thing and someone else calls you out on exactly that. And I'll and that'll sit with me. Oh, I'm. Like 100%. I mean, what's it like?

And what's worse than, than you being made in again, not that even it's the, the other person's intention to do this. But what is worse than you being made to feel bad about doing something that you thought was ethical and and right like you, you know, taking that step and being like leaning into that. And then the pushback is, is like that was actually that was that was hurtful and just and just terrible.

So thing is like 99% of the time, I've already thought that like myself and like today I told the student that she was being entitled. I was like, Stop it, you're being entitled right now. And then like in hindsight, as. Opposed. Maybe a little, much. But I've received zero emails so far, so it's fine. But she stopped. So she. Stop. Game. Game on game day.

Yeah. Yeah. Do you think like as you were kind of in your own journey with this and is like growing as you're getting older and having more experience thinking through Instagram stuff, were there things that like surprised you about yourself? Like when you like there was like aha moments or things that clicked for you in a way that maybe hadn't like hadn't previously. Yeah. So like I said, like the title of perfectionist, like, I don't, I don't care for it.

It's not it's not, I think a good reflection. I think the reformer is a much better reflection of what an Enneagram type one is. Because yeah, like I've always not been like the cleanest person. And yet, like, it's like I'm wearing black on black right now and it bugs me that, like, my blacks don't match. Like, that's the kind of. That's a perfectionist thing. I mean, sure. Yeah, sure.

But like, I've got my messy room, but like, the thing is, like, I know where everything is in that there and like, perfection is like perfection is a standard that like I didn't quite understand when I first thought about the Enneagram in relevance to that. And it's a sense, not so much of that everything is in the exact place that like there's this standard that it's supposed to be there, but as it, as in it's in the right place that it's supposed to be.

And since that's my space, it's in my right space then against the be in. And so there's this sense of like when I was learning about the Enneagram, I pushed back against the one because I saw the messiness in my life and I was like, There's no way I can be that. Gotcha. Because I've got messiness. And yet like, it's, it was really when I heard the Enneagram one really struggles with having an inner critic in their head that's constantly speaking to them.

And I remember like listening to another podcast where they were like, Yeah, you don't you don't hear that voice in your head that's criticizing you. I was like, Oh, wait a minute. Like, Yeah. This is this is a me thing. Like, that's really where I start because I'm constantly not just like criticizing things around me, but within me at the same time. Sure. Yeah. And just. Yeah. And that's and I think that's a helpful thing for any of you that are listening, that kind of like are thinking me.

Like I kind of identify with that those personality trends like the, the inner critic voice in unhelpful yeah so in unhealthy which that was the thing that I was going to I was I was going to mention because within the ene gram we're always talking about directions that you're going in health and then right and then in unhealthy and so so I was looking at I was like what is the like or is it in health or on health or like in stress? So the let me see what does it have?

The one. Is a for in stress. And stress. So become the individualist. Seven in health. That's correct. And so you become the enthusiast, which I can I would totally make. Sense which kind of the whole the whole like in health and in stress kind of gets confusing because if you're really a one, how can you go to seven in health and four and in health? So. Right. Can you I mean, can you speak to that? I mean, that may be a good questions that our listeners have. Yeah.

You know, in how does that work as far as like in health and. Well what I was going to what I was going to do like so yes. So in general, there's a there's the the diagram that we have here. Oh, check that out whenever we can, which we, you know, we can, we can find this diagram here and posted on the show notes, which can be helpful.

You'll see kind of a diagram where it redirects the numbers and says, okay, you're going to go to the more this personality type the other as it's relating to the other personality types within. The in the grass. Spectrum in in health, you're going to you're going to see all you'll exhibit behaviors from this other type under stress or long standing so in. Health so it's not really health an unhealthy it's more of health and stress because they whereas a in this case a one would be

your resting number like who you are naturally where you're not trying. To. Work on yourself but you're not also stressed. Yeah Megan used Megan it's interesting Megan used in stress and growth is the. It's an interesting. Is the dynamic there which I think could be that's probably some healthy language. So Tyler, for you, what is it what is when you are feeling your foreignness come out under like under those stressful things. What like what does that Matt, what's it look like?

What does that mean for you? Oh, like, I just I start to tone everyone out and like, now that is the way I think about it for a one, it's real simple. Like going towards the for the individual list, it's more about sinking into yourself. And when you go towards the seven, the enthusiast, it's about what's happening around you and it's kind of this inside it like breathing interest that you go through.

So when I go to the for it's more like inside my head, more like the the critical voice like ramps up but also like I think deeper about like the things that are that are stressing me out. I process them a lot more because there's that critical voice really bouncing around in there saying, Hey, something's up now. But when I go towards that seven, it's like, I don't have to worry about the stresses of life. And I just get to like around the office. If I'm in stress, you won't see me.

But if I'm okay, you'll see me so much. Just talking to people and all around. Yeah. Which is a, which is the thing that I, I think so for those of you that like I haven't said this overtly. So Tyler, Tyler is one of my staff members that Walker is a missionary church.

So like I have the pleasure of like being his immediate supervisor and I always am like to that exact point, I know that when I see Tyler like stepping into offices, which is our culture, that's our culture of the church, which is why what I really love like very open door policy. Like we're, we're in each other's offices all day long talking about this, that and the other. If I see Tyler doing that, I know that things are probably going pretty well.

If I if I were to all of a sudden not see Tyler engaging with the rest of our team, I'd be like. Something is wrong. Something is like something is up, right? And that's and that's why even even like an introvert, extrovert sort of thing, that's like a that's just like a relational, like overall relational health sort of thing within the personality type just to kind of keep your, your, keep your radar up. So, yeah, so yeah.

Okay. So when you fear, when you feel your individualist stuff kind of coming on what's like a correct like what have you found is, is helpful on the corrective side like to kind of get back to the the healthier side of things. Like to be honest, I like having someone I can trust to be able to talk with and that like part of a big thing about the like hurt of of a one is being criticized.

So having that person that I know I can go to and essentially vent and like know that like they're hearing me out and it's about like where I am, what I'm struggling through. And they're not like trying to correct me for being either upset about it or struggling with it. They just hear me out about it. Sure. So do you find the you go? Somebody who may maybe not is another number one, but somebody who I know an answer one I probably. Wouldn't go. With no one.

But somebody who understands what you're like, what your Enneagram number is, and what it's like. So that way, you know, they can kind of see, okay, I'm in health, I'm fine. You'd think I've got. A lot of good friends that are seven. And so like them, there are some times where it's a little much and I kind of try to ignore what I'm going through, but sometimes they are really good about pulling me out of the funk of that for and oh sure.

Like I'd gravitate towards that because it's like, no, like they're going to really they know what it's like to be the unhealthy side of a one because that's where seven's go towards an unhealthy. And so they're able to step in and say, hey, like they'll literally use the language of like hate. Your critic is like, really, you're your critic is showing so interesting.

Yeah yeah yeah so yeah do you I think about because as we've mentioned it kind of the workplace dynamic with with having a one around what what do you think what do you think a one brings because you've sort of touched on it. But like in a workplace scenario, what do you think a one brings to the table within it, within a team, in an organization? Yeah. If a one has joined your organization, they've probably like done research about it and they're probably aware of what's going on.

And if they see that like the organization functions as it says it should, then they will be all on board, completely loyal to it. But when it starts to deviate or they have coworkers that aren't doing what they're supposed to do, then they're going to really have a problem with that. But you are. I don't think you'll find anyone who's probably more loyal to a cause of an organization.

You don't one. Yeah. So, so in terms of someone which and this might be the case where one is like is the person, is the lead, is the leader in the organization, there will be, I think, intimidating. But about this, I think there's a heavy focus toward toward mission. Yeah. And then a heavy radar for mission creep, which I think is what you kind of alluded to. Right. Like if there is deviation going on, the one is going to have a really good radar for that.

And I think conversations with Tyler where he's just come and ask me questions like, is this on point with what we're trying? Like, because that's how I was thinking of like, is this on point? What we're trying to because. He wants you want to understand like what the the rules are, what what's going on? What's right and wrong for the organization. Yeah. So that way you can take those in. Yeah. 100%.

But also like it goes more, it goes beyond the boundaries of rules to because it's like you're so we're doing summer sun days and there's been some days where I'm like are by doing this thing are we walking or like are we missing like what our goal is and doing that. Yeah. And it's like we are trying to accomplish this and by doing this thing instead it's, it's drawing people away from that goal.

And so just again, like that's part of the critical eye that, that the one brings where it can be good, where it's like, hey, where we're getting away from what we believe in. So how do we steer ourselves back? Yeah, yeah. And if and depending so if if the work culture is healthy, they'll be able to hear a one. Yeah. If the work culture is unhealthy, there's I think probably a really good chance for like how like high defensiveness.

Yeah. Protectionism, because I'm not going to want to show my cards, too. I'm not going to show my cards to you. Right. Because I'll see you as a threat that's going to like uncover and like air, air, the laundry of of my defector or whatever. And so I think that's why well, earlier, like earlier this year, I had our I hope I had our whole team participate, didn't do a any grim assessment. And in typical fashion, I'm not going to out anybody on the show. Come on.

But in typical fashion, like there's there's always I laugh because there's always there's one particular group which will get to this number eventually. I think I mentioned it. Maybe I'm upset with Megan, but there's always one group that immediately one particular personality type that immediately goes what they even question the assessment, right. And like and it's a personality type that tends to be like, don't tell me how I am. Like that's you can name me in this box. Yeah.

Exactly. Right. Those are my those are my eight switch on our staff. I have a lot of I have I have some other ones and I have some other eights. And that makes for a really what's really great about it is it's a it's a very driven dynamic. These are people that do not need a fire lit and lit underneath of them, which is great because I don't want to do that. It's like that's not, you know, being the fire starter is like not my thing.

But at the same, at the same time, there is a yeah, there just there can be a real, just a real benefit from the whole team knowing where everyone is coming from and being able to identify like here's how we can work together toward health. But, but by the way, with all the positives come these other potential pitfalls where we misunderstand each other, where we hear each other wrong, or where we're like our our shadow sides come out a little bit.

And if you can have those conversations ahead of time, which is ultimately my goal, and that we don't get surprised by each other and kind of how we operate, yeah, a lot of good things can come out of that and we, you know, it's our, our coworker. So is Tyler's our middle school pastor. Dustin's are Dustin's our high school pastor. And Dustin is like myself. He's a two and I have two. My gosh, there's just so many ways that I just have to giggle and then I have to think of myself.

Like when I see Dustin doing his thing and interacting with Tyler within our youth ministry department, I have to giggle at myself a lot because it's like when when I see Dustin interact with Tyler, I sometimes ask myself the question, is that how is that how I'm being like I'm being like, all nice, like, oh, nice about things all the time. And like, sometimes like, no, no, there's this is me.

Take off the kid gloves here and get down to business and and do it, you know, and do it the way we we should. And it's not to say that there isn't a place for working together and compassion and all of that. But when you begin to see each other, not that we're labeling people hard and heavy with these things, but when you begin to see and understand, other people do the things that you see in yourself too. I think if you're open to it can be really, really, really, really helpful.

So so I'm curious how you work obviously with other ones. Joel had mentioned that you have other ones. How does that work in your work relationship with them? Do you find hard to get along with other ones because you both have to kind of you have this contradicting like, sure, what's right and what's wrong. You may think something is right. So how does that work for you in a work setting? Yeah. So yeah, the I think there's only one other one.

I think that's right staff. We have two ones. We have two eights. Two ones. Two eights. And I mentioned who our. Other one is. Sure. Yes, yes. So the other one, it's Tina. She's our finance labor. Office manager. Manager area. And like majority of the time, her and I get along like I. Feel like. You see eye to eye one. Hundred percent like.

Yeah. And I think because I think when you guys come to the table with each other, you both understand the importance of like if you're if you guys are talking about something, you both recognize it as is vitally important. Sure. Yeah. But, but there are a couple of things that like have come across that like I'm sure we have annoyed each other very much. Like with our conversation, like I wanted an ice machine for the youth or. Because. I knew. You were going to do youth. Events.

This is a great example. I'm looking at it from the logistics of like how much ice are we really going to buy throughout the year? And it's probably going to be good to invest in the long term in an ice machine finance wise. And she was not having a say. She was thinking about big picture of finances. And I was like, I was like, you're not getting it. Like, we're going to need this like other. It's not just that I'm going to use ice machine machine. Everyone will use ice machine.

And like if we do meals, like there's nice for the pictures. If we do like camping trips, there will be like stuff for the camping trips, like all this stuff. And it was just like, No, we don't need that. And she and I was like, I was so frustrated for like a day about it. And like, that's, that's where like the the budding of heads of ones. It's not necessarily that like one person is right or one person is wrong.

It's just that there's this perspective where one person sees the right of their perspective and the other person sees the right of their pursuer. Yeah. Yeah. And and again, if there's but as you said earlier, if there's trust. Yeah. In the relationship dynamic, yeah. You can work through it. Yeah. If there is. And into like that's one story. Yeah. Like Yeah. The almost year that I've worked here and I probably can't pick out a single other time that her and I have ever disagreed on.

And I like and I like that the worst case scenario was over an ice machine. That's 100. Percent. It tells me that we're winning or that we're doing what we're doing. Okay. But yeah, it's, it's, it's interesting. Again, as a tool, when you do encounter conflict to be able to, it gives you some handlebars to be able to navigate it a little bit better.

I think to to end, to know like, okay, here are the possible ways in which this other person that I'm trying to work through something with, here's the possible ways that they're hearing me right now. And so I would just want to be I just want to be aware of that. Yeah. So. Joe, I'm interested to see if any of our listeners have any feedback.

And you know, if you're listening to this as a podcast later on, you can call our voicemail number and that number is 57421387025742 and 38702 or voicemail number. We love to hear from you. It's not going to ring door in the middle of the night, but we would love to hear what your experience with ones are if you are one and tell us with how you are getting home with you if you're well. So what's wrong? Just tell us what's wrong.

If they if they remind you of Monica from friends, they're probably. Probably would probably. See as I'm sure that you know what like I would like to see because I'm sure it exists. The famous sitcoms. Were there any algorithms. Are out there labeled people I'm sure they are that's that's got could be interesting the. Ones are usually the people that I care for the least. Yeah I really gets on. Like gets Angela from the office and I can't stand that. It makes me so upset.

Which, which was she and like accounts payable or something. Like that. It was like one account. Yeah, it was like one. The accountant thinks of Stanley because Stanley does was an accounting bill, which was a whole other polar ball wax. So and they'll try to look through the other questions that I was going to ask and I was going to ask time that we we haven't hit on the heavy hitting on.

I can't think of any that I it's anything that you would like to tell us that maybe we missed as far as about you know questions that you're. Yeah. About being a1i think. Well I think one of the things going back to the topic of the workplace is that one of the things that one's value the most is criticism.

And it's and like so if you have an interaction with a one and you don't like what they're saying or you don't like what they've done, like think carefully about the criticism that you give them because they will take it to heart. Like even if it's just like you're just mad and you are like, you're so down with like what they're saying or what they've done. Like they will hold on to that thing that you said and will, like, cut deep.

Sure. But like, at the same time, like, if a one asks you for criticism, it's one of the most intimate things that they can do. And like I remember, I had a soccer coach in high school and like just trusted him with everything. And I remember that probably the, the thing I remember the most is the practice where I stayed and I asked him how I could improve and because, like, I was like, I, I trust this guy to tell me what's real and what's true and like, he's going to do it in a loving way.

And then the other thing I'll say is like, if you have a one that you work with, ask them if they see anything that can be improved. You might not feel comfortable with how direct they be. But usually they'll tell you the truth. They will tell you the truth, and they will they will see something that they will be able to point out and be like that. That is where you need to work on. Yeah.

And I know like I know for me personally when it's not on a of like a super frequent occasion, but when Tyler brings things to me like things that, he notices. And these are things that might be within student ministry or outside of student ministry. I think one of the things is I have a high degree of confidence that it's not like a he has thought about it very, very intentionally. You know, it's not flippant. Yeah, it's not flippant or it's not just off the cuff or whatever.

Like some close attention has been has been paid to it. And that quite honestly, from a like a quote unquote managerial side saves me a lot of time because I don't, I don't have to go through the process of like, Mm. Okay. On a scale of 1 to 5, like how serious is this or whatever. It's like know if he chances are if he, if he or someone of his particular personality is taking the time to say, I see this thing and I have these concerns about it, it probably is.

It's something that you need a jet and probably Learjet. And so those are those are things to consider all you managers and leaders of people out there. I'll be thinking about that because and I'm I'm grateful that I'm not in this scenario, but I know a lot of people that are in management are where it's like like the the suggestion box is constantly for, you know, oh yeah.

And there's constantly like from every every corner of wherever constantly people giving input on way the way they think things, the way they think things should be. And, and, you know, most of it's trash and are just pure trash and it's not it's not well thought out or whatever. But that's something that fires me up, hearing people's, I think are trash criticizing. Oh, like, it's almost like a game. Yeah, it's like it's like do if you bring a criticism to the table. My hero, and.

Bring your A-game, this wouldn't be criticism. It's like it's like, you know, a high school quarterback trying to coach like Tom Brady, like, yeah, your spiral is not as tight as it could be. Yeah, it's like. Really? Okay. Yeah. Oh, well, and all. I think it's become that time of night. That time yeah. So yeah that time of night is going to come quickly here.

Now it's time for dudes and dads. Pop quiz. Thank you, Aaron James. So pop quiz, if you've never joined us, it's just a random time when we ask some random questions that seem to not be so random lately. Yeah. Oh, is it like I look at that and I go, there's a lot of cards there and I know we always do the same. We shuffle them. We always seem to get the same. Another because there's a second deck. Several decks. There are several decks to get on to get more decks.

One one more time to shovel the decks on. Decks. On decks, demos. Yeah. There you go. It's good sound. Effect to it, really. I like that. All right. I will ask the first one here. So, Tyler. Yes? When you die, what do you want to be remembered for? Ooh, this one. Oh. What? I want to be remembered for. I mean, probably one of the biggest things is as being a loyal, loyal friend, loyal follower of Christ. And loyalty is huge to me. There's that number one coming out. And that's I love it.

And see me, see how it's like, yeah, it's got a purpose behind it. Tyler Next question. What's the worst job you've ever had? Oh, worst job I've ever. I mean, okay, so there's two things that come to mind. The first one, it's going to sound like it's pretty obvious, but I hated this first job. I used to wash the dishes for a diner and like it was, I don't like wet pruning hands, constant wet. Oh, man, awful. Did not like that job. But I've also worked construction on water and wastewater plants.

And seen everything. You flush. Yeah, I've worked around it. And so, like, that was not fun. Exactly. No, no. But most of the time I didn't have light burning hands. So I of time, that's good. And there's an upside. What's the best piece of advice that you've ever been given? Oh, yeah. This this goes with being a one, but, like, don't get all bent out of sorts about the little things. Yeah, yeah. Kind of going along with getting those courtesies. Like, you can't let that.

You can't let that get to you all the time. You got to be able to keep walking. Yeah. Tell me, who are your heroes in real life? Real life heroes. Real life heroes. Jesus. Yeah. So, cameraperson. Great. I should. I should. I should. Expand. That included Michael Scott. Michael. Yeah, yeah. Not Angela from the off, not Angela. Specifically the Michael where he's dressed up as Jesus. What a great episode. Michael. My last one. Which words or phrases do do you use most? And as I do most over use.

Oh my goodness. My students could tell you. She brings bring such as I am. What? Let's see. Words. Do I know. What? There was a phrase that you were hot and heavy on for a while. And now I'm glad that you that that tracks. Well, it was super heavy. Yeah, well, but it does. Uh, Tyler, if you had to teach a class on one thing, what would you teach? The fastest way to tie your shoes. Oh, yeah. There's a fast way. If show it really fast. Oh, yeah, I'll show you. The fastest way.

So I know how to solve a Rubik's cube that was chore to. That's the thing. So yeah I got real into how fast can I do certain things because I, I speed solve Rubik's cubes nice and so like I was obsessed with what's the fastest way to do different things. I found the fastest way takes you. It's incredible. Wow. Okay, well, with. So much time. You know what? That's going to be extra. That's going to be extra content right there for the social media.

Is actually. No engine. Tyler we. Should. We should. Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. I should say Tyler is super down with the Rubik's Cube. It is it's become kind of a Tony see a treat I'm office trademark. Oh interesting view, if you will. But hey, Tyler, congratulations. You have passed the dudes in Dad's pub quiz.

Thanks so much for hanging out with us tonight. And excellent. Lots of fun. Good, good, good. Hey, has always friends. You can send your remarks, your harsh rebukes. Pithy comment, your. Pithy comments, or you are not so critical feedback. If you're a type one super decent s podcast at gmail.com, we'd love to hear from you over there or. Again or voicemail. Number 57421387025742138702. We'd love to hear from you. Hey, you can also head over to the Dudes and Dads podcast.

Don't come. It's got all the good stuff over there. Show notes, uh, ridiculously easy ways to find us and our guests, all to get information. So go over to Disney Dad's podcast dot com and check it out. And until next time, friends, we wish you grace and peace. Head over to Facebook now and hit the like buzzer. I guess they're cool.