Eliminating Hurry – S4E8

On this episode we talk about the elimination of hurry You're listening to the Dudes and Dad's podcast, a show dedicated to helping men be better dudes and dads by building community through meaningful conversation. And storytelling. And now here are your hosts, Joel DeMott and Andy Lehman. Mr. Demott. Hi, Andy. Welcome back. Hey, it's good to be here. Thank you. You missed the last episode. I did. And? And, boy, did I miss it at multiple levels. Yes, you did. Multiple levels.

Hey, welcome. Welcome back, everybody. It's good to be back in the studio. Good to be chatting. Looking forward to our discussion on this episode. But Andy Kitchen. Sup, man? What's, uh, what's been going on in life? Oh, man. OK, see? See? Exactly We. Were. We were camping last weekend. We're going to be camping this next weekend. You guys are getting your camp on. Yeah, we are. It's good. Making use of your use of your trailer and all that good stuff. So.

Yeah. What what's the number one thing like as you guys have been camping here are system down. Do you have a protocol for your camping that you've dialed in? Uh, I mean, I would say definitely we pack things well and organize and we have things, and. Yeah, it's good. Do you like a plan? So here's here's my other question. Do you have do you have a rain plan? Do you have a plan B, though? Yeah. So, well, I mean, in our paper, we can we can handle that, right?

I mean, we can handle the the weather. You're just sitting there and stare at each other, right? Well, here is so here's the thing. I mean, last week we were camping with my in-laws so that that helped. And they have a natural, like, trailer trailer, which is bigger. But when we got there Friday, it was pouring down, right? I mean, it was just straight up pouring down. And so I parked the trailer.

I didn't want to set it up in the rain because you know, a pop up, you got to actually like slide that thing out. And it takes a while before you actually get the whole thing set up, right? Yeah. And so we just waited the rain out and luckily it stopped. But there was like standing water in my shoes. So it was one of those if you weren't a camper, you would have been like this year. Forget it, forget it. Forget this. We're not doing this again.

But but no, it was it was good. It was a good weekend. We had fun. And yeah, it was overall just really. Yeah, it was enjoyable. How about you? Yeah. Well, gosh, what have we been? What we've been doing, we've been taking it easy here recently. Put a little break in our in our travel baseball schedule.

I I am proud to report that, uh, that Aaron, our eldest here, has finally, after 44 days on the injured list, has come back from his broken thumb and got back on the got back on the mound in the snow. And so that's good. And let me see here. What else are we doing? We're getting, uh, well we're kind of getting ready for we just did our last of four shooting sports and. All that. Stuff did our last, uh, last round here this past weekend and get gotten prepared for that. For the, for what?

For July, which July will be here. You know, it looks. Like it's coming before you know it, it's going to be here and we're going to the summer is going to be done. And we're going to be OK with it. Our summer. We're trying not to hurry our way through it, which is exactly why we're talking about what we're talking about. We're talking about eliminating hiring today. We want. To eliminate hiring but first.

The go guys. I wanted to just kind of we had some feedback about the episode a couple weeks ago. David Jones sent us 2112 sets, so a little bit of Bitcoin and said that I love this episode, guys. Thanks for digging into this topic. There's a lot of pop psychology enneagram stuff out there, but it's real hard psychology. And he said that Helen Palmer's work is the best in his opinion, so we love to hear feedback.

Yeah, we'll have to check that out for sure. Yeah, I'm always always appreciate that feedback and we're always looking for further resources on our show. You know, the hope is always that our word is not the last word on this. We like to get the conversation going, talk to people that we we know and respect on these topics, and then we just we just keep on going. So thanks for that. Appreciate it. And then we also have a couple new things

that we kind of wanted to touch base a little bit about tonight. We have dudes in Dad's community so that's Facebook and Discord. So if you've not joined yet, you can go to our Facebook page and there's a link in there for the group. And this is kind of a way to do a community. So you as listeners and us as podcasts can kind of chat back and forth with you guys and just to talk. Yeah. So we hope to build community with that.

I mean, our goal for this podcast was to is to bring community to people. And, and so we wanted to create a Facebook and a discord community because we know some people are on Facebook so we went with discord to. But then the other thing, Joel,

that we wanted to touch base a little bit on before we get into this episode was the fact that we have now have a premium channel dude and Dad's podcast premium. It's the. Caviar experience of the. Dudes next to me.

But what it is, what it is, is it's the so on Apple podcast, if you're a listener for on Apple Podcasts, you can just go in to this show and you'll see for 499 a month, you can subscribe, get extra bonus content you can get early, read the release of episodes and add free episodes too. So just real quickly in there and you can easily subscribe and help support the show and get some extra stuff too. Yeah, we do. We so much, very, very much appreciate that support.

I love to see more and more folks jump on to the community and get connected and that's really what it's all about. That's what brings us a lot of joy and satisfaction, what we do. So thanks for everybody that is participating. And now we also want to remind you that this episode is sponsored by that story show hello. I'm James Kennison and I host a clean cut comedy podcast called Best Story Show, where we put your hilarious real life stories and anecdotes in the spotlight.

In other words, you send in your stories and we share them with the world. We tell stories about embarrassing moments, miscommunications, people trying to get into the wrong cars, silly things kids say, goofy stuff, our pets do, you know, stuff we can all relate to and laugh at. So listen and find out how you can send in your own stories to be read on an upcoming episode. Find That Story, Show an Apple podcast, Spotify, your favorite podcast app, or just say Alexa, play that story show.

Hope to hear from you soon. Oh, yes. That story show one of our favorite shows. Listen to it. The kids. We were we were actually just listening to an episode on the we're on our little day trip today. Yeah, absolutely. So yeah, please James Kinnison and all the good folks over at that story show. We love your stuff. Give them a give them a lesson worth your time. All right.

Tonight, we are going to be talking a little bit about just eliminating her because we know that this time of the year is crazy, but we are actually recording live, Joel. And if you're live with us, you can leave a comment just like Chris night did. Chris Night they. Do. Sunday night, my buddy. You can leave a comment for us and we can bring it right on the show. So, Chris, thanks for thanks for putting that out. There now that Chris is on here. So this is the thing.

So the reason we're talking about this is really Chris has a major part in this. So because you don't know that Chris. So Chris is my boss, but we within our faith community where I pastor have been talking about the what we've gone to this series called Unhurried Self that ties into it a lot of the stuff that we've been pulling from is from another resource.

Want to want to make known to all of you and we'll have it in the show notes is this great book came out a few years ago from again John Mark Komer he's he's gotten some airplay on this on this podcast and others here recently but he wrote a book called the rueful Elimination of Hurry, which is actually a quote from Dallas Willard.

So that's where that title comes from because basically Dallas just said If you want to follow Jesus, you must ruthlessly eliminate early in your life and then, oh, gosh, who was it? I'm sure remember who was asking him like what they must do with their lives, kind of like one of those, like how much they live their life, everything. And Dallas said, No, that's it. Just ruthless. Just ruthless, obviously eliminate hurry from your life.

So I'm intrigued by I'm intrigued by the idea and we're going to be just talking through some practical things. It's going to be a little bit of a window into my life. And in Andy's life, too, because here's the deal. Andy is it fair to say that in this season of our lives, maybe more, more than previously, we feel hurried?

Well, I think as we get older and I mean as we get older, but as the kids get older, too, there's they're involved in more stuff and more stuff especially when you have kids that aren't can't drive themselves. You're hurrying around, you're going to different places. You're over here, you want to have your own stuff, too. So I think it's important to also Norah limits. Yeah. And in know when to not commit to things. So it may mean saying to your family, no, we can't do this as a family.

No, you can't do this as a student. No, you know, no, I can't take on this one extra thing because I need to settle down for you. Andy, because I've been thinking about this in the context of our family. How do you know when when when it's too much like when you've crossed when you've crossed the line and all of a sudden you've entered in from kind of a kind of an intentional momentum in your life, you know, because, yeah, we have things we have to there's regular things that we are filling

part time. Right. And that's work. That's other that's certain family obligations, things like that. Just the normal the normal rhythm of life. But then I don't know if you're like me, but sometimes it's like there's a disturbance in the force. Yes. And you feel like you feel like you've crossed you've crossed the line somewhere. And now I can't get my head above water. And I start to feel what what Comber uses. Actually, he's quoting John Ortberg.

This this whole hurry sickness idea which and it's like where you start to you start to have symptoms. Symptoms of her sickness and like, what for you? How do you know, like, what are the what are the things that you notice? So first I want I'd like to actually maybe touch a little bit on what is hurry. So John Mark Homer in in the book talks about it and he says that hurry. Well, the first thing is John Ortberg defines the essence of hurry quite simply as too much to do.

And John, Mark Comar says that hurry is the enemy of a spiritual life. So that's kind of what we're going on tonight as far as the definition of hurry. So it's pretty, pretty basic. Pretty basic, I would say definition of hurry, but I think so your question to me was how do I know when enough is too much?

Yeah. So when I start to get anxiety about all the things that we have to do when I'm uneasy in my heart, when I'm uneasy as far as as you know, when I'm uneasy about all of the things that we have to do and sometimes that's just me, too. Sometimes maybe I'm just feeling overwhelmed, but I need to talk to my family. Then I realize, oh, it's actually it may seem busy, but we're not actually like that busy. We do actually had breaks in there. We have time to to settle in.

And like this weekend, for instance, what for me was one of those where I originally felt like it was going to it was going to be too hurried, it was going to be too much. We had a handful of things going on, and we were going to be hanging out with the in-laws with the bonfire. So that was good. Yeah, Friday night. Saturday morning, I had a Boy Scout thing that I had to go to with the boys, and Reagan had a tennis thing.

And then we and then we had to come home and go to shooting sports right away. And there was just a whole bunch of stuff going on. And then Sunday I knew that we were going to be super busy with a long service today because we were celebrating our worship pastor and her leaving the church here. And so I knew we were going have a longer day there, and I knew that we were going to have a long time you know, VBS and then coming here to record the podcast.

So but then my wife reminded me actually, no, it's not really that busy. It's yeah. We're just yeah, we're not that busy, as busy as we think this weekend. So, but to answer your original question, I kind of when I get the uneasiness in my heart, I'm like, Oh, this is. Right. Too much is. It?

I think it's possible cause I know I've done it where we actually begin the uneasiness in your soul about the pace of what you're doing when you become a little bit numb to that or that, or that becomes the norm. And, and because here's the deal. I don't know about other people other regions. I feel like this is an American issue. Um, like we do. We're busi ness and hurry is like a kind of a badge of honor sort of thing. Yes. Like, how many times have I said I've been guilty of this?

And this is like pastoral, small talk. You see someone in the lobby at church and you go, hey, he's staying busy, you know? Right. Like, he's. Like one of those things you just say. Are you all right? Oh, that's great, right? And it's like, well, you know. That's not really what it's about. Yeah, it's like you. I should ask, like, come to a person. Go. I don't it doesn't quite have the ring to it when you're like, is your soul unhurried? Like, you know, like, how how are you doing in that area?

Well, I think that's a good thing, though. I mean, I think that's something that we should be talking about. We should be saying, hey, what's what's what's your life like? Is it too busy? Yeah. So so this funny thing. So some examples in the book and you know, and I've got to go to these like, OK, so some some symptoms. And for all of you listening indicators that you might be living a hurried life. All right. So bring it.

You're at the grocery store and you're in line and you see a line that you might think is moving faster. Do you do you at least take some mental mental space to ponder if you should change, like. If I don't even take the space to do that, I'm just like, go in. And then I'm like, oh, crap, this is a this is a better line. It's on the wrong line or. Three lane rule. I got in the wrong way. Yeah, you don't know.

So that's the thing, like, because ultimately in that scenario, you you might gain a few more like you might gain a few rights, maybe or I. Mean, the fact that you get in line or you're driving and I'm guilty of going usually five over the speed limit because I'm like, hey, that's my limit. I'm only going to go five over. And then I get behind a guy who's going the actual speed limit. I'm like, Oh. Yeah, got to. Get around this guy. I got to get around this guy. Yeah, yeah.

And really why are you monsters out there going the actual speed? Like, I'm not gaining anything by going five miles an hour slower, right? Well, because that was a whole discussion we had over the kiddos the other day. Like, I like mathematically, if you figure it out, like you're trying to explain because they're like, Dad, why don't you pass this guy or whatever? And I was like, Here's the deal, guys. OK, I'm getting off of this exit.

And exactly two miles and me going around them and going that much faster will gain me. Maybe I might get home maybe 30 seconds. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Maybe. Right. Like I was just saying, like, do you know how much faster you have to drive than the other person for an extended amount of time to really make that work? Yeah. Like, like you just have to keep all these things in perspective. But we feel like we got to. We got to go. We got to go. We have this, this. Urge or this push. To do it.

And I'm sure for some of you, by the way, though, like, depending on what you do for a living, what you do for a job, there might be a real pace to what you do, what you do.

And I recognize it can be super hard to like turn that off I know you and I both in various times in our in our own working careers where it's been, where it's go, go, go, go at work and then to like be be unhurried into the amp, like to move down the pace a little bit when we get when we punch out or when we step out of the office or whatever it is, you know, that that can be a thing.

I feel pretty fortunate now like in my work life where the pace is gosh, where the pace is, I think more determined by this perspective of like we are running a marathon not a sprint, like we want to do well over the long run and not just like be be super hurried and super efficient for a super for a period of time. And then burn out and totally and totally fail. Because I think there's other like you, you said, there is absolutely at the core of us, there's a spiritual component to this hurry.

I think if we live unhurried we are self awareness is is definitely takes a hit. If we live in a hurried life, our self-awareness takes a hit. Sure. And before we know it, I think hurry can also live in hurry sickness and this this general malaise of go go go and must accomplish must accomplish most accomplish I think it can lead for us as men I think it'll lead to some really really dark places we even aren't even recognizing it.

So let's let's talk a little bit about what does healthy busyness look like versus unhealthy business. I think that there's definitely a a difference between the two. And we would love to hear your guys's feedback to you. So if you want to call and leave our voicemail on our number, that number is 574213870 to you again, 5742138702. Here's an I'm going to say this. If someone leaves us a voicemail, a legit voicemail feedback, I'm we're going to send we're going to send them something.

We will because I want people to do this. We'll send you something. You can you can give us some sort of you can include well, yeah, you can include some information on that and let us know who you are and we'll get in touch with you and we'll we'll send you some. And also, if you're watching as we're recording live to Facebook tonight, you can leave a comment. You probably won't get anything sent to you, but you'll get a comment and we can.

Try to we're trying to listen this next month and I haven't mentioned this day and he specifically, but I think we've got a good chance to get some new swag that we can sell to send to folks. So yeah. Yeah, good for sure. So anyways, what's what's healthy busyness versus unhealthy busyness? I think that Joy, I think I mean, I think that that's a tough one to define because I think that your unhealthy busyness is easy to define.

I mean, because you when you're when you're go and go and go and go and going and there's just no time to rest. And I think that's where the key is between healthy and unhealthy. I think that if you have time to rest you have time to sit in silence. And actually, it was really kind of funny that we we brought this up because my wife was actually talking to me the other day about me needing to slow down a little bit. And so, like when you brought it up in. The show wise more. To. Exactly.

But the thing she one of the things she had said and I think is actually the way this comment came up was I said something about, oh, yeah, I was listening to a podcast and normally she knows that listens to like one and one half speed anyways. But then I said, I also turn this feature on. We're just like eliminating the gap. So if someone stopped talking for a second, it would just eliminate the gap.

And she's like, Wait, no, and so, so then it got me thinking and I really appreciate that comment because Julie, I appreciated your comment because you, you did bring it up to me. Oh, and I started bugging me as far as like, oh, she's right. Like, I'm so busy that I'm listening to podcasts at one and a half speed and I'm skipping spaces that are and they're all over this normal. Human, human conversation. Speed is unacceptable for us. Yeah. Let's we got to chop shop.

Yeah. So, so that's, that's I think we're I mean, what would you say that unhealthy busyness versus healthy busyness looks like? Yeah, I think, I think it's a like there's a lot of things. Okay. So for today, for instance, you know, today we had we had church came home did a few things around the house and then we decide we're going to go to the zoo. Um, and our afternoon was very full, but like it was good. So when you said that it was, it was full if you were doing things.

Doing things, but you. Had time for family and you were just so time for the important things. Yeah. Like I think particularly, you know, I'll say this like particularly particularly meaningful with our, with our kids and we were present with our kids and, and Jackie and I I don't know that I, not that I share all of our, of our marital stuff on the show. I try to be very, very careful about this.

But I would say, look, we've, we've, we had a spot here recently where like our communication was not good and like there was a, again, a disturbance in the force. And I mean, today was really good. Like, I really I really needed it. So it was full. We did things. We had we was like, boom, boom, boom. But it was like, I know I feel different after that experience than I feel with like other experiences where we are in a hurry for other stuff.

You know, that feeling of, oh, like I think some of, you know, like the, the trying to get to the airport kind of hurry. Yeah. You know. We we're it's, it's not even about it's like it's a long series of hustling through things because it's not even about those things whatsoever. But we got to do them. We got to get through whatever just to try to make it to the end. That's, that's the kind of thing that I want to, that I want to avoid.

And I I feel like in this season, as you have mentioned, Andy, we have kids in a lot of different things. And some of the things that are kids like overlap like with our own children, the overlap of a lot of the things don't like as they're getting older. I think you're seeing this with your kids like they have unique likes and dislikes. Oh, yeah. The things that they're into and you want to honor that. But at the same time, you have to be like, OK, we can't do everything right.

Like, we can't. It's like not within our. So that's why when I rejoice, when I have at least two kids that like the same. Thing and. At the same time, I'm but there is this sense in which I have to check and go like how much of this are we creating ourselves? How much of this is like, this is a seasonal thing in our in our lives and is unique because there's there's some and for those of you that are parents that have, you know, maybe you get two kids, maybe you've got two, you've got one kid.

I mean, absolutely 00 negativity toward this. But you do get the sense, though, like with each of us having having four kids and managing everything that comes with that, there's a multiplication effect of the like there is always a thing just coming up in this coming next. And we want to make sure that we're we're there for that they're there being involved with.

And so it just it is a with every with every additional kid there just feels like this is like a multiplied additional effect of, oh, yeah, the things that we're the things that we're doing, the things that we're pursuing. And so it's like, OK, how much of this is essential?

How much of it's not the other thing that I would say, though, is that like as opposed to just when it comes to eliminating because it's not just the limiting her, it's ruthlessly eliminating her because basically you have to be ruthless about it. Sure. You've got to get you've got to get like like strategically intense. Yeah. About it in certain ways.

And so there are a few there are a few weapons, there's a few strategies and weapons against her that that I think are really, really good one of them is silence and Solitude. We've talked about that before on the show. It's kind of a recurring thing. I mean. We talked with Circle I mean, my dad. That's right. About resting and retreating Papa. Chuck and Arthur and whatever is ever called him Papa Chuck before. And I've called him Father Chuck before.

Either Chuck would make sense as well is kind of monk like I can see it minus the being married part. But but like the so when you take time basically to intentionally slow yourself and to listen like that is definitely a thing. Yeah. And the other is this whole idea of simplicity. And I spoke to our actual our faith community at our Christmas church about this the other week and here.

OK so a lot of our hurry, Andy is there's like a scheduling hurry that we create right when it's like OK I got to I got this event for work. I've got these things that I'm taking the kids to that they're involved with. My wife and I have got this thing. We've got our friends that we're you know, we're trying we're trying to maintain, you know, a crazy idea, trying to maintain adult relationships in our in our later thirties and 40 is like.

That's. It feels hard, right? It does trying to do all that. But then there's like the other kind of hurry that comes to us because of the things that we have surrounded of surround ourselves with like yeah. Possession stuff. Right.

And the reason for that hurry is like the more stuff you get, the more stuff you have to manage and like take care of and service and it very easily can become this thing where it's like you make the like you get the tools but then the tools start making like making you write the circuit, they start controlling you and I think that's just so much of I think that's also a big, a big piece of like really ask yourself the question when it comes to hurry and bringing maybe some more

some more help to your to our kind of our rhythm is saying, OK, can I do more with less what? How can I move forward and but remove some of the stuff in the things. And I told the whole story last week. I told the story of I much to my wife's chagrin at the time, I think I called up a local company and had them drop off a 30 cubic yard dumpster in my in my driveway and it's it stayed there for a month because each weekend. You just had time to.

Just, you know, toss and stuff cause I'm like, how many Minnie Mouse kitchenette sets do I need in this, in this house or whatever it was. And Andy, I was just amazed at how many things aren't even really unbeknownst to us, how many things that we had had that we were just like, we're sitting in storage where it's like, we're never going to use this. And I would love to say like we could like some of it, we donated whatever.

But some of the stuff, it's like I it was funny to me, even the idea of going through the process of even trying to donate it or give it to other people, that in of itself was a whole other thing, right? Like, no matter what, I was not going to get off the hook with it.

Like in trying to simplify it, it was like there was going to be pain no matter what in trying, in trying to rid myself rid all of us of stuff, trying to better organize things so I think in the simplicity thing, you know, that's a tough one to talk about here, especially in Western culture, especially in our lives. Like we like our things. Oh, yeah. Right. And and thank goodness Amazon can get us our things super, super quick.

Now we're we live we have a major we have a major Amazon distribution. This is terrible. And that's, that's serious. This is the first thought that came to mind. So just a few miles from us, they are currently building a massive Amazon distribution warehouse. Right. And when this deal came through and I we I drove by it the other day as it's being built and it's just it's hard to wrap your brain around how the hugest thing is the here's the thought in my mind.

What's remote? I bet I can get it same day. No, it was like, whatever it is I order I bet you you can bet you if I get it early, if I order early enough in the day, it will be out. It'll be on my doorstep. By the way, what a time to be alive. And like, that's what went through my mind. Oh, man. You know. So I want to touch a little bit. There's a Bible verse I think applies here.

But first, I want to bring up a comment from Becca, and she says, good thing Father Chuck did not take the Monk lifestyle so far as the no marriage commitment. That's right. That's right. And we're grateful that he didn't because. I wouldn't be. Around that's exactly right. This show this show would not exist. You know what? You know what, Father Chuck, thank you for helping make dudes and dads a reality.

But so the Bible verse I want to bring up here is Matthew. 11 2830 come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me. I am prime, gentle and humble in heart. And you will find a rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Good stuff. Yeah. So. So wrestling. So, Joel, you know, Jesus is saying right there, like, you know, to rest in me, like, what's look like.

So and in the book that we're talking about here tonight does mention that if you truly believe Jesus offers, you rest then are you really ready to arrange your and rearrange your life and your days so that Jesus becomes your new normal. Yeah. So that's that's I mean, that that it hits home right there. Are you ready to rearrange your life? Yeah, because it's like, well, what did right? Like, what did Jesus value first of all? First of all, he was never in a hurry. This is the other thing.

So, like, so many demands on his time. So as he began ministry, stuff like this is, this is which even as you read the stories like as he's going along with the disciples there, it's deeply disturbing how he seems to be operating in a different time zone like he's like am in. I think it feels so disorienting to us because we would have this sense of like, my goodness, he has so much work to do, all these things, all these demands upon his time, go, go, go, go, go.

And it's like he'll be going along and be like, Hey, guys, uh, I'm gonna go pray. I'll see you later, you know? And, you know, he'll rest. I mean, these are the historical, hilarious stories of him, you know, falling, falling asleep on a boat. That's about ready to be to go under, you know, like, there is a completely different priority there and I think if we look to that and say, Hmm, that's the call upon our life as well, that it is a then there does require a ruthless elimination of hurry.

It's a radical move to think about, um, how we simplify our lives, what we've, what we value, what we put in, you know, in the fact that we just, we can't how should I say this? Like, at the end of the day, at the end of the day, you accomplishing all of these things will not be what marks serious. It marks eternity for you it won't for any, for any of us. And I, I don't know.

But by the way, by the way, in a hurried world, if you begin to unhurried yourself, people will lose their minds around you. So because you're going, look, we and look, we're illiquid. You don't look weird. So let's talk a little bit about though. How do you unhurried your life? So I think there's a few things that we can do listening to podcasts at one speed instead of 1.5 and I'm hitting those wild spaces.

But no, I think taking up journaling, I think that's one of the things that I am wanting to implement in my own life because I think for me, I'm I'm running, running, running, running, running. And if I look back, I mean, a lot of times people will say, Hey, how was your weekend? And I'm like. Oh, I was. I was I wasn't. I work. And I can't remember. Yeah. What I did is I did so much stuff.

Or if I do talk about it, I'm like, Well, I did this and I did this and I did this and I did this in about a minute and a half later, I lose them because I've yeah, I'm going on. And so I think journaling is one of the things that I would like to take up this year. You can hold me accountable. Do it. I well, I gosh, I should do the same. And because I have a real obsession with journals, I literally have five, five unused journals right now in my.

I think the journal that I do have I got from you. Good. So that makes me feel better that I'm doing something useful with them, but not hoarding. I'm not. Adding on to. That. I'm not a hoarding journals. But yeah, I think that man, that's great. As I said, you know, already maybe the act of getting rid of somebody, maybe getting rid of some stuff that's, that's taking up your that's taking up your time, that could be it.

That could be a thing you know, it's just taking taking a day because by the way, when it comes to like the ruthless part of this, there will be something to be said about like you have put this in the calendar and they have to make it a non-negotiable. Right. And it's going to things those things are going to have to happen. Um, I don't know what a lot of the hurry that comes into my life I feel it's because I, I don't have a good awareness of like some of those in this calendar manager.

I don't have a good awareness of all of the things I haven't decided ahead of time what is priority and what can, what can slide or what I can put what I care about or eliminate altogether and say, yeah, I'm just not going to be able to do it. So I think there's something to conversation with actually with a mutual friend of ours.

And the other day and he said you was telling him because his wife asked him a question about about something coming up and he's like, he's like, I'm going to make it through today. And then and then I'm going to look at the schedule for tomorrow and we're going to do that or we're going to do that. We'll take it one day. And it was. Half joking, but half serious. Like there is a point where it's like, it's like we are in that world so frequently right.

Of just trying to survive from day that from day to day that that actually can contribute to hurry as well because yeah, you're just it's like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom this day. And then you're, you're out the next day versus taking a step back and looking at the whole picture and going, OK, how am I going to schedule sounds and solitude? Where will Sabbath or Sabbath actual Sabbath rest? Look, you know, be for me where we're you know, we have to take a step back.

We got to get more self-aware about these sort of things because your your point is, again, as you started off with this, just like there is a there is a sickness in our soul and we can usually feel it at least for a time. And then we talk ourselves out of that feeling or. You crash. And crash or you get numb to it. And then really, you know, and then before you know it, you're looking around. You're like, oh, my goodness, you know what? What are we what are we doing with our with our lives?

You know? So here's another good one here. Set a time limit for your social media. Oh, gosh, that's a hard one. I got a list before disclosure, and I recognize this. I, I am, I am trying to make improvements on this. I don't know what it is recently here for me, it's probably there's probably some other spiritual things that it's always everything is spiritual.

So it's like there's always something there's a thing under the thing recently I have been recognizing like I will at the end of the day, I pull in the driveway and I'll look I'll check the I'll check my phone because that's been driving. Like, I have not got any messages or whatever I check my phone and I have, I have lost 20 to 30 minutes in the driveway. If I get, if I get on. Oh sure.

Or whatever and I just go, I just got what, what is happening to me because I'm, I'm so non critical about that. Like I just I'm not even aware of what is going on there and then but it's interesting in doing that though then that contributes to this whole like I can't ease kind of into the returning home sort of thing. It's like also I'm like older and you're geez, I got to run in there and I got to do this, this and this and in there I am, I'm, I'm hurried again. So social media.

Amen. Amen. Andy, I got to, I got to, I got to work on it. All right. Also show up 10 minutes early for an appointment and use that time to pray. Oh, yeah. Because then you're not rushing, rushing, rushing. You have time to actually do that. But then that also brings in then you would actually need to set time to get to the appointment on time ahead of time and not rush to it is where I find myself. And you guys set your clocks at home a few. Minutes ahead. No, you don't know. Interesting.

Intentionally so. We just said you. Set a time. So this is the. Other things that would bother me. True story. All here is a psychological thing. True story are like the the clock that is on the microwave and the oven and our in our house right. Which our kitchen is kind of in the center of everything is 5 minutes past. Oh, wow. See, if I knew that it was 5 minutes fast, I would I would just know it's 5 minutes fast. And we know it's 5 minutes fast. But what it still does is it how are you?

Is it still it pushes us a little bit. It's interesting. It pushes us a little bit. And this is where it comes out really during the school year primarily for the get out the yeah. Whatever, where it just gives us a little bit of an extra push somehow that we are a little bit more likely to make it out. I mean, come on. But but it's interesting, right? Like you like, again, we have to like create a sense of hurry to to manage our lives, I guess. I don't know. All right.

And then, uh, drive the speed limit. We already talked about that one, but then five and 15 minutes each day alone for silence and solitude that one's hard sometimes you got to get up early. I mean, I find myself getting up early because that's the time if I get in. When else can you and I find silence, then? Well, all right. I mean, but you could. I mean, you could go to the coffee shop. You could do things like that.

Yeah, I find myself, if it's during the day, I'm going, you know, I'm going from home to work to home to whatever we got going on. And so so if for me, I have to spend that time in the morning where I intentionally I get up, I maybe look at my phone for 15 minutes. Yep. And then I go ahead and I read my Bible. I pray I, you know, think about God. And so for me, like that, time is crucial. Like, I've come to the point where I need that time. Otherwise my day feels super hurried.

Yeah, that's good. Yeah. This coming weekend, it'll be interesting. I'll report back on this. We're as a faith community. We're going to spend Friday night, all day Saturday and then have a Sunday done at Camp Mac, which is just near us here in this community. And we're just going to be a family together and we're going to we're in a camp together and have some fun. We're doing baptisms on Sunday, whatever, and I am really like as best I can. I just want to be unhurried in that experience.

So we're going to we're in a camp of the have the kiddos with me where we're going to see stuff. And I just want to see I just want to see what, what it's like to. Be in a here. Just to be unhurried. They're all right, guys. So we'll see how it goes. Well, report back to us. Yeah. I really appreciate this this episode. Joel, let's go ahead and wrap it up here. But we do want to remind you that our voicemail number is 574213870.

To enjoy this edit himself, we are going to go ahead and send something out to somebody. We're going to send us a little git voicemail and and we'll give we'll give you a gift that well. You'll enjoy. You'll enjoy. I think you'll appreciate it. I don't want oversell it, but I know it'll be good. We'll send you a thank you guys. That's definitely so. We want to know what you do for to eliminate Perry in your life.

But Joel, it's been a great episode. I'm looking forward to putting some of these practices into my life so that I'm not feeling the effects of being hurt. Yes, we're going to try hard this summer. We're going to make an effort. We're making effort, and hopefully our efforts will help you and encourage you along the way. So, guys, as always, we thank you so much. Also using Dad's podcast at gmail.com. Good way to shoot us an email to if you'd like.

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