hello and welcome to season 6 episode 41 of Dualistic Unity I have uh so we've taken a bit of time off the last week and a half to get you know reassess business and everything that we're doing we've been pushing the last few months last couple years quite frankly um and just continuing continuing continuing and last week has been has been good things have gotten settled I think at least for me I won't speak for for Ry and Amanda but for myself um I've realized how much you
know something like dualistic Unity the conversation a lot of what season one and season two focused on can become more of a focus than life more of a focus than what's real and it can become a very you know as it always is a very personal Journey as Life Is But there can be a a sense of Separation instead of connection that you can get caught up in if you focus the conversation on you make it about you um and so I've taken a look at that in myself and and recognized how much I have made that a
focus and I'm realizing just how how much it's not really about that you know it can be a conversation that you dive into from time to time and it can be informative in a sense of when when it informs you in a way that isn't about you so much or anything that you're thinking necessarily has to do with you and at the end of the day there's pretty much just some basic applications you know when you get back to you know human needs Necessities eat sleep go to the
bathroom you know stay hydrated as best you can and then you kind of keep that in the you know priority of your life paying rent things like that you got a company you're working on you got a job you know prioritizing those things and then expanding from there and I think sometimes with the conversation it can get a little bit inverted and those can become things that aren't as much the primary focus and you can kind of lose sight of that and and when you are focused on yourself
being on some path or Journey um the path and the journey can become more of a focus than all those things I mentioned previously you know the the basics of life and uh you know you go through your life you live your life and you just do your best quite frankly to not be an [ __ ] be it to people around you be it to yourself and you keep going there isn't too much more that you got to think about obviously things arise as you extend from there you know things to think about in relationship to
those but you don't have to make it so much about you and so those are just some of the things that I've um been taking a look at myself and I am excited to be back to recording some episodes yeah this is one of the reasons that uh the expression that philosophy is the disease for which it should be the Cure settled so well with me when I first heard it was because it is so so very easy to get caught up in what the conversation means about you what the insights mean about you and
it's the same old trap that has always existed we've done it about everything whether it's you know about your music knowledge or your sports knowledge or your knowledge of feminist history or your knowledge of ancient Egypt whatever it might be it's always very easy to take that knowledge and make it Define you this isn't something that's new knew at all I mean the Nazis did it they looked at the science of evolution and then changed it to and therefore everything awesome that led to here led
to us which is awesome therefore it's all about us and that's where all of a sudden they lost the miracle of the Insight that they were looking at was that human beings are adapting that human beings are in constant flux in constant adaptation that there is an intelligence behind our our physical form all that stuff but no no it just became no we're the master rays and that happens you know with spirituality it happens with everything it happens with science it's the difference between you
know scientific theory and scientism which is very much you know the full-hearted belief in whatever science says this is the truth but science never says this is the truth science says as far as we know this is what this is the truth maybe right and so it's it's that it's the willingness to settle in the uncertainty in the fact that there's always more to see but that it never means anything about you because you've seen more yeah like the scientific guess
isn't scientific guarantee but it's easy to view it that way because we are banking on it we're investing in that it's like you know you we're not we're not [ __ ] but we certainly act like them and where do you know where does that come from and that comes from thinking that you know we're so invested in a certain cont concept and whether that concept is season one or two or that concept is a um concept of science or philosophy it's just that's not the reality that you're living in you know
and as much as we can invest in the concepts the concept is that's not the point and even if we think like oh you know this could be it and you know this is my best guess and and just you know leaving it at that you know I don't need to have 100% certainty I don't need to have zero doubts and zero fears and zero insecurities um but I certainly can make the most of of what's happening in reality right now which is this moment and everyone or everything that seems to be in it and I
say seem because you know right now it seems like my entire life my entire moment is this room with the two of you in it and you know everyone who is you know that I'm aware could be watching right but you're not in the room right now technically and you know but that's why it seems like it's just the three of us in this room but there are people that are walking outside right now there are there's people in the city there's people in the country people on the
planet like you know what seems to be the case isn't and so even when I'm invested in what it seems to be you know it's uh it's okay to just be okay with the fact that you know what I'm thinking and what I'm seeing isn't everything and that doesn't stop me from taking in other considerations that I may not be able to look at or directly engage with you know so it's very much like when we think about uh decisions and how sometimes you know there's that um I forget the word but it's like before
your decision is made on some scan they've seen that like the decision has kind of already been made before you like press the button and it's like button a and button B you know and it's like I choose B but somehow they've been able to see that like the decision for button B was already made before I pushed it and it's like well are the choices mine and it's like for me the way that I like to think about it is like it's it's like everything is existing right now so everything is
everything like I I to some degree am everything or an expression of everything and so it feels like everything is informing the decision that I seem to be making and both of those things are somehow it feels like they're Happ happening at the same time and yet I don't feel like I'm In conflict with that like I don't need to be sure like is it I or is it everything where are these decisions coming from I like no there's a decision happening and it seems like you know there it's it's
coming from multiple places but ultimately the experience will be it's it's my choice and that choice is a part of the experience of you know what seems to be my life but my life doesn't just include me you know or the idea of me or just Amanda it's just like it includes so much and yet it feels incredibly intimate and extremely shared in a way that um doesn't always feel pleasant but um feels incredibly worthwhile and so I'm for no crazy reason or no reason at
all uh I'm still glad to be sitting here with both of you in this room right now and somehow this all feels worthwhile still absolutely yeah and I think when there are choices made you know there because you can start to get caught up and thinking like oh my gosh there's so much there's so much happening there's so much going on it's like yes and no because sometimes it can feel like you know you start thinking and all of a sudden there's a lot happening but where
is it happening is it happening you know in your head or is it happening in reality because as much as there's so much happening in reality all the time as you said right now my universe is this room this microphone computer in front of us and it's it's not so much it's it's in what you're doing the step that you're taking it's kind of one thing it's not so many things but it you know you start thinking about where things come from why am I doing this where's it where's
it going what's it leading to what's the future going to be like what's what's my past been like I want to understand where my you know sense of this or that is coming from is it coming from this previous experience that I had when I was a kid my upbringing blah blah blah blah blah and then like right there the last 30 seconds that seems like so much but it's it's not really what's happening there isn't so much it's I'm talking and we're sitting here and we're
recording this and that's not so much and so when you start to get focused on I don't know how much is going on or assuming that you know there's so much to this process and journey and and all these things I think it can help to take a step back and wonder where so much is happening you know is it happening in your assumptions and your thoughts and your in your head or is it happening in what's real you know what you can feel what you can see what you can touch what you can smell
because there are a lot of things there but it doesn't feel quite like it's so much it's not so overwhelming because often times the so much is about yourself but you're just something that's involved in so much of reality and that's a lot more more basic a little bit more it's not to say straightforward but we can absolutely turn things far more complex unnecessarily complex um when we start thinking you know and and wondering about things in our head um and so when it comes to choices like
where is the choice coming from you mentioned making decisions and choices and um I think it's Epi phenomenalism when it's um choosing the button or which button to choose and you know are you pressing it when you're making the choice or was it already already made and you know with choice too like choosing to go to the bathroom because you feel like you have to go to the bathroom that's a choice that's made in reality you know and absolutely I'm not saying there isn't a benefit of having a
mind and being able to think about things and consider things and way different options but and it's like nothing is black and white everything's gray area but how much of those choices are focused on you know the pondering the thinking considerations assuming that there's a way to to guarantee something when that's never going to be the case so how many of those choices are happening you know in the so much of your mind that can expand very quickly as soon as you think that that
should be the priority or yourself should be the priority versus how much of those choices are happening based on what's actually real you know the things like choosing you know you get a growl in your stomach maybe go eat something you know you got to you're living in a in a place you got to pay rent do something to help yourself pay rent and those aren't so many thoughts necessarily it's it's what's happening it's what's what's real and I think when that is more of the focus and priority
life it's not to say it gets simpler because there's still so much to it but it it isn't quite as complex as we can make it by trying to or assuming that we can guarantee what's next yeah it's not simpler but it's less suffering you know when it's you know um the choices involving like the body are you know easier to you know to talk about because that you can see them in like a black and white kind of way you know bladder is full of liquid it sends a signal you
know the decision to make a bathroom just makes sense you know because it's like if you if you don't make that decision your body will make that decision without you you know at some point you will piss yourself you know so that's a little different than you know choices that involve other people you know and uh that involve you know friends and family members or business partners it's it's those choices are the ones that feel like they're a lot harder to make but they're just as
straightforward you know it's it's you know does this make sense or or does this get me somewhere you know does this make sense or is this or does this give me more more certainty more control and you know a lot of the times you know that is where the choice is coming from when it's in when it's in relation to someone else you know am I going to be stuck in my head or am I going to be in the room you know chatting with the people that are in there with me you know and and that
feels pretty straight forward you know because whether you whether you think whether you think so or not it's not invisible when you're in your head you know so you've made the decision um to go out with your friends and then all of a sudden you're you know quiet and then if you do talk it's it's almost panicked and so it's like you know did you decide to have a you know a panic attack at that moment not really you know it doesn't feel that way but ultimately
that's the experience that everybody's having and so what's what's the choice there do you know are you the person who's supposed to notice that you're having a panic attack and then check that are your friends supposed to tell you hey are you okay you know like the line between helping and enabling is gray you know and so sometimes you're like hey are you okay and then sometimes you're like hey snap the [ __ ] out of it you know and for me a lot of that comes
from you know my experience with myself the way that I talk to myself and we've we've said that a lot you know the way that the choices that we tend to make with other people are a reflection of the choices that we make by ourselves and so making choices when it's just by when it's just you that's one thing but it's like you know very rarely are you making choices in a vacuum where it's just you and it's just about you you know usually your choices will have a ripple and it's going to
impact someone else and so it's like how do you deal with the frustration of of trying to be empathetic but then you know with yourself and with others and then but not trying to enable yourself or others you know it's it doesn't really feel like it should be you know so difficult for sure yeah and so yeah I was I was discussing the basics that have to do personally like in a vacuum and I appreciate that you're like well there's there's more going on and more happening and I think you know when
those Basics are the priority you know like it can make some of those decisions with other people easier with relationships easier you know for example with a job you got a job so you got your own business that you're running and starting trying to get it off the ground make money it's like that because that is one of the like ultimate basics of life that is going to have a higher priority than things that don't have to do so much with that and relationships that have to
do with that will have for the time that that's being built at the very least more priority than some of those other things and so I think that's what I was trying to say with the expansion from there is that then that helps in but to your point there is you know very much the reflection of how you talk to yourself versus and how you talk to to someone else because a lot of times it's almost almost the same you know and and how much responsibility you're taking for yourself there's going to be
a almost like a reflective lack of responsibility outside of yourself or if if there is a lack there's going to be a lack if there's a priority there's going to be more of a a priority and and you know when you start to get a sense for empathy and you know not putting yourself first in kind of that full circle selfishness it it makes a lot more sense and what I mean with the full circle selfishness is that you know it to just solely prioritize yourself in what you want and what you need deep
down doesn't really feel very good at all when you when you stop doing that so much there's a there can be a shift and if you know your focus is trying to stay in control of things control of you know always choosing what you want to do and and there's going to be a lot more conflict because reality is that you know as we've said many times throughout this podcast that control that control over oh if I if I just do this then I'll feel this way or if I do this then I'll
get this it's not to say that you don't have choices to make it's not like there is some external control happening but there isn't there just isn't that guarantee of the next step and so when those priorities are are focused on a little bit more things just have a way of making more sense it's not to say that life isn't complex but it's just that we don't make it more complex than it needs to be because you can't really think and make it less complex it is what it is but thinking can absolutely
make it feel like it's a lot more complex than just what it is well yeah well again I think the complexity or it's not even complexity that's the problem it's it's the attachment right like you can if I were to give you a puzzle that's complicated and say you have all the time in the world doesn't matter just have fun with it you would go go at it and it might take you a little while but you you'd figure it out and that would be it and then you'd move on with your life but if I gave you that
same puzzle and I said and if you can't figure this out in a certain amount of time you're a [ __ ] idiot and you're less than everybody else all of a sudden you're not just thinking about the puzzle you're thinking about what the puzzle means about you which means each and every decision that you make each and every time that you're trying to figure out something all of a sudden it's going through the filter of oh my God I haven't figured this out yet what
does that mean about me or oh I figured it out therefore I'm [ __ ] awesome and then inevitably comes the disappoint that comes when you hit a part of the puzzle that's more challenging there's a whole emotional thing that goes which is making it about you rather than it just being about the information and the task at hand that's very much the point you I'll share a story with our listener hello listener um recently ran into somebody from a distant and ancient part of my
life this person was a big part of what was ultimately a very dark period for me and was a distant memory long forgotten suddenly shows up as not a primary character within the stuff that we're doing in the community here but kind of a tertiary character a character you know kind of in the background doing their own thing having an influence over the community that I'm in but living in the community despite not being being from here and I'm not from here and like
the chances of all this happening at this exact time is very slim and realizing that this person is now in my life or rather a part of whatever ongoings are happening around me I had the option of thinking about myself and thinking about all the stories I told myself about this person and and you know when whatever it is that happened and what they might have done to me and just how it affected my life basically the victim story that I had held on to for a little while you
know and so for a solid day I just sat there going well look at all that like look at all that story I've gotten about this person and what it means about me and my life and wow there's a lot of judgments about my life and the choices I've made oh wow there's a lot of judgments about myself as a person back then and you're just looking at all the stuff going through not thinking like oh my God I'm going through this again therefore I'm backsliding oh my goodness
this person they hit my triggers and it's you don't make it about you you just let the process happen you stare at the puzzle because what else are you going to do but if it's about you then all of a sudden it becomes a totally different thing it's not just a puzzle it's not just a way to spend your existence it's not just another experience that could be both challenging and fun instead it's something that's heavy instead it's something that's quote unquote complicated but it's not I mean
everything is very simple time and attention that's all anything really comes down to time and attention you you have a challenge in front of you put some time and attention into it it'll disappear or you can think about what it means about you and then you'll put neither time nor attention into it and you'll wonder why you're stuck there yeah because it's it's not something to overcome like that when you do notice something a situation or someone else and notice that maybe there's maybe for
example there's a notice Detachment or you know stories you have about them or even recognize something in yourself you know you notice tendencies that maybe you weren't as aware of as soon as you turn it into something that means something about you it can become something to overcome and then it's not just letting it happen it's I have to do something like bring it out of my head and do something in reality in order to do it like you know for example if you
notice someone from your past it's like now I have to prove that I have overcome this and so I have to you know be friendly to them if I want to see myself as a friendly person or I have to you know not talk to them in order to to you know prove that I don't have to prove anything to myself and you can go pretty berserk with it and kind of double down when the alternative is is seeing it seeing them as a person maybe understanding that you know if you've changed as a person that maybe
they have too and not adding anything or making it something that you have to prove because is they're a new person they whether how much they've changed or not and you're a new person and so I think a lot of times you know we can turn things into when you start to be you know more reflective or just more I don't know sensitive to your own Tendencies or or stories or or whatever it is as soon as we turn it into something to overcome or to to get rid of or we judge
it um that's where the additional complexity comes and then choices mean something again choices mean something about you and it's it it becomes a a should and then it's like well I got to do this by now I should go you know find their number and figure out and connect and and you know just to make sure that this or that or this or that and so yeah that that sense of overcoming something I think is is really what you don't have to focus on yeah and the alternative is
to just live my life moment to moment as I always do and when and if the person comes into a moment and shares an experience with me maybe they're passing me a piece of paper to pass to somebody else or you know we both hear a song hey that's great there doesn't have to be the story of this character that goes with that interaction they can just be a human in that moment with me they can just be a part of that moment and without the story that I tell myself purely because
I'm reinforcing a story about me then there's just the interaction there's just the moment here with no weight and then it turns into something else and they're gone because you're not holding on to it right maybe they come back again and then they leave again and through moments like that perhaps you end up forming some kind of a relationship which doesn't mean attachment it means a relationship with this person wherein you become a different part of their
environment and that's it there doesn't have to be a story because the story is overly simplistic there can just be what is right now and the understanding that we don't know everything do the best we can yeah I a i a situation a few months ago this reminds me of it I was in a coffee shop and had a ex not it wasn't girlfriend necessarily but person that I liked a lot and they weren't ready to make that next jump so it was a relationship over the course of a number
of months about a year um and I saw them and they saw me and immediately just a wave of oh my God it had been a few years since I had seen them and I felt that and I think in those moments you have the opportunity to to panic and like you know pack up your stuff and and get out of there or see that like of course of course there's that response to seeing someone that you had certain you know a certain relationship to it's not that you haven't you know gotten over them
quite yet it's like no that's that's just your body responding to things and it's not at that point it's not even it's hardly thoughts sure it's coming from you know an idea to some degree that you have but I think we can even focus on you know oh I shouldn't have that response to things and as soon as that becomes the case that's when it's doubling down and then there's the panic and then there's the you know frantic response instead of just seeing that no
no that's that's what's happening right now I don't have to react to to this now I can let it be and that was my response that time and she sat down we chatted for you know 20 minutes or so and then she left and that was that and it was fine and how the conversation went wasn't really that relevant it was just catching up real quick and and that was it and it could have so easily become this kind of strange sort of thing if there had been a reaction to something
that I thought maybe oh I shouldn't you know I thought I was over that by now and it's like you don't have to you don't have to [ __ ] overcome all of the things that you think and I think when you when you start noticing more things there can be you know in yourself or in the world there can be this feeling even with you know you notice that oh the world it's a terrible place we got to save the world we got to save the world it's like okay or you know just relax a little bit
understand maybe where some of that is coming from like why the world is the way it is and just don't do as many of those things but to assume like you personally have to save it or you got to get a group together to save it is another one of those panicked responses that sense of overcoming and that is a lot of times the basis of what leads to a world that's in chaos a world that's wild a world that has you know suffering to degrees or responses like that and so it's not to say
that you shouldn't recognize certain things but it's it's not that you have to do something in order to change it as if there's that degree of control and that goes for yourself as well you know you can notice things without needing to change them without setting a a goal of having overcome certain things or like when you try something new like been playing guitar for a little bit and I've been playing for a week and have improved quite a bit and I don't have
any thoughts about you know like oh I gotta learn this song by this time or by next year I have this goal of being able to play 20 songs and being able to play them perfectly like that would add so much weight in I would structure things backwards and this was something I used to do in my life all the time and then it wouldn't be as enjoyable all of a sudden it would be something that you know becomes a task becomes a should and the alternative is not having that you
know down the road thing where it's like oh I set this goal because it'll mean something about me because then you get there and it's like you're saying you feel good or you feel bad about yourself one way or the other the alternative is just you know playing some here and there and seeing what happens not even thinking about how you're doing and all of a sudden you know you you think for a moment about how you're doing a couple months later and it's like oh I know a
lot more that's cool it doesn't mean that I'm a better person maybe you could say you're better at playing the guitar but it has nothing to do with you as a as a human being because you now know a little bit more of of an instrument it doesn't add to you so much it's just you know another thing that you can do and you know as you said you put that time and attention in and if that's the priority then of course things are going to shift and change but as soon as it
means something about you it turns it into you know a big old process that gets can feel very complex when it doesn't have to be it's unnecessary yeah it's a another experience you know it's um for the most part it's a it's a lot of repetitive you know this is what's happening you know regardless of your opinion um you know you know things are happening life is is here right now it's live and and you know sometimes you're going to love it and and it feels like you want that
moment to last forever and it doesn't and sometimes it feels like you wish the moment couldn't end any sooner and then it does change um but ultimately it's just a lot of a lot of experiences you know evolving and just changing shape like shape-shifting experiences you know changing into another one and and there's so much to take from all of them you know because there's so much to take from experience experience has a you know a limitless depth that you could explore and so it's
like being able to hold your breath underwater and explore underwater and never having to come up for air but having the option to if you felt like it yeah and being able to continue to experience life like that and then if you do have a moment where you feel like you want to come up for air real quick not also not measuring how long you can stay underwater it's like you get a breath of fresh air and if you think that means something about you it's like oh I shouldn't have gotten a breath of
fresh air all of a sudden you're going to go back underwater and try and take a breath of fresh air and then you panic and then that's when you know that's when someone drowns instead of just seeing that you know there's a process to that too you know how long you can spend underwater doesn't mean anything about you but it's it's not something that just happens overnight there's a process there and it's like I guess almost just letting letting processes happen letting
things play out but also not you know assuming that they're you know getting too tied up in what the [ __ ] a process even means because that's something that you know you can just start thinking about like maybe there isn't a process so much as much as you know as you said an ongoing just this is what's happening this is what's happening and then you know whether it's learning an instrument whether it's doing a podcast you know like no need to set go just do some episodes and do some
more and then do some more and you know I think when you're making it about you it's like that's where you know oh you got to set a goal you got to do this and that that sense of goal setting gives you that sense of like all right I'm I'm doing something more just because but you're you're making just the thing that you're doing more and then it's more complex than it needs to be instead of it just being about time and attention like you don't have to set goals you
don't have to set something in the future that gives you that sort of false sense of certainty false sense of a guarantee because then you're setting yourself up for measuring yourself and feeling a certain way about yourself because you set the goal you do where you don't get it you feel good or bad about yourself but it's the same sort of focus that doesn't help you with you know the next step that you take because the step that you take the step that you're on has nothing to do with any
goals that you may have written down or or set it's it's kind of irrelevant to the goal but prioritizing the goal is going to distract you to some degree to uh how much attention you can give to the the step that you're on I've enjoyed this uh this conversation because it sounded sober it sounds very sober it sounds almost like the end of I guess just getting drunk and and being irresponsible and then going oh [ __ ] I keep knocking [ __ ] over because I'm kind of drunk and irresponsible so
you just settle down you have a coffee you end up looking at the mess you clean it up you know you do all that you don't feel great about it but you kind of do too because at least you're coming to terms with it right you don't feel so [ __ ] sloppy you feel like at least you're here now MH and uh we've talked about that previously you know being drunk on ego and it's it very much is like being drunk and it's only because you can only pay attention to so many things and that's true in reality
government knows this they did studies back in the 30s I think we can juggle like 30 odd topics from day to day before we start losing focus on other topics think about how many things you think about yourself let me phrase that don't think about how many things you think about yourself you know but be aware of them as they slide through unendingly focusing on them takes your attention from everything else you can see a thought in passing and that's enough you don't have to grab it bring
it up close and stare at it because it makes you uncomfortable the discomfort will pass just as the thought does but your intelligence is already learning it's already working with it it's just the Panic it's just the need to feel in control it's really all it is it's the only reason that we grab for all these thoughts and fears and needs and doubts and all that is just because we're like God I don't know what's going to happen next but if I can consider everything maybe I
will and in our effort to do so we lose sight of everything we actually have the exact opposite impact on our life in an effort to be in control and be intelligent and know what to do and be the right kind of person we get farther and farther from a place where we feel fulfilled or authentic or enough and it seems counterintuitive because of course it feels good to be drunk in the short term but it's not until you get over that that shortterm good and thus the
drop that happens afterwards that you start to realize life was just fine before you got all drunk life was just great maybe you weren't paying attention maybe you didn't slow it down enough to appreciate it but if you do you'll see it and it has nothing to do with feeling good about yourself and everything to do with just feeling like yourself without the need to be more that said this has been a dope episode we're not going to wrap up quite yet uh I just wanted to talk about a few cool
things that have been happening uh as Andrew said we've been off for a little while uh there was a period of illness in there which unfortunately interrupted a planned camping trip but it did allow for some reflection uh it did allow for some additional contacts to be made a little bit more time on the administrative side for the business it did allow a a lot of time we have some exciting things coming up in season 7 we have exciting things coming up in general uh I can't spilled the beans yet
because we have an investor newsletter coming out in the next week or so and then we will be letting everybody know on patreon towards the end of this month and early September what season 7 is going to look like but I I just wanted to give a shout out to everybody we know we've been gone for a little while here and we really appreciate you listening to the podcast living your life applying this as best you can because it really is important to recognize it's not about the
conversation until it is and then when it's about the conversation it it's only about the conversation till it's not and what I'm saying is that there's a swinging of the pendulum there's going to be time when you're going to need to practice being here and not in your head and then there's going to be time when you can sit back and Marvel at how much is actually in your head without being threatened by it you can learn from all of it without it Knocking you off your
guard or knocking off your feet you can be the rock that the waves Pummel against and never threaten but that doesn't mean you always have to be there you can quite easily be the Rock and ignore the goddamn waves just by being here but they both have value so no matter where you are if you feel like oh I'm thinking too much well don't think about that more so maybe you are okay you'll notice as soon as you go okay maybe I'm thinking too much that's one less thought there's
one less judgment there it's as easy as it is accept it accept what you're going through just accept it stop running from it and before you know it it'll take you right back here because this is what's always Happening Here and Now we do have a lot of real things happening and not with necessarily an intention of some long-term Focus but just a lot of opportunities to give a lot of time and attention to certain things and and see what happens because when the focus
isn't so much about trying to predict the future via goals via shoulds VIA you know timing oh clocks and got to got to get this thing done this goal finished solved overcome blah blah blah blah blah when it is about more time and attention to things and and seeing what's available the opportunities available and making the most of those there's an excitement in that you don't even know how things are going to go where something's going to lead but you know the more attention given to it the more
opportunities are going to be seen it's like with all of the future focused sort of priorities that's where the tunnel vision comes from it's like trying to predict the future is tunnel vision you only get one little perspective and when when you relax a little bit more when it isn't so much about you know assuming that you could predict the future assuming that you know even the thoughts in your head about some future aren't real they're not what's happening
they're passing through just like the feelings pass through you get a wave of you know seeing someone walk through in a coffee shop previous life and you get a wave of that maybe some thoughts come with it and it's that that's always the case with thoughts but thoughts we have the opportunity to dig into no matter what we're doing you could be lying in your bed and that being all that's happening in your life before bed and be going through all different cycles of
certain thoughts and those aren't really happening and there's no way to even know you know any of it quite frankly and and so when it isn't so much about the next thing or trying to see 10 steps down the road that Focus expands it's like the the tunnel vision becomes you know a big long I don't know moat that keeps moving it keeps going and there's all these opportunities that you start seeing along that that are here that are in reality and it's like it it kind of
inverts or it's you know perpendicular to the tunnel vision and that's where things are happening and where there's an ability to almost use your mind and I think that's the phrase you know your mind is a terrible Master but a fantastic servant beautiful servant terrible master I think that that tunnel vision is when it's a master like that's how you're using your mind to try to predict the future which is impossible and the alternative is that it's a servant that
you're in reality and you're able to all of a sudden it's like oh my gosh my mind is back I'm not focusing because I'm not focusing on it it's like the focus on your mind is the thing that creates the tunnel vision and cuts you off from the rest of it it's like picking a thought that's the tunnel vision right there and then there's no way to see anything else and it's all you see and it's all your focus and then the focus becomes either overcoming that or letting it go or
dropping it because it's all you can see it's all you can think about and the alternative is understanding that you you don't know you're not sure you can't guarantee what's going to be be next and then you're you're way more capable of handling what's actually happening when you're able to to use your mind but it it doesn't come with this sense of you know a guarantee or that false certainty or the feeling that you even know what's best but it's it's not something
that's feels as necessary when it isn't the focus it almost doesn't even make sense to to try and assume it's like yeah of course I don't know what's next that's ridiculous to assume that you could and you know that's that's a much different much Fuller experience and uh that's where the conversation can be connecting or what the conversation's pointing to because that can be another Focus that creates tunnel vision in in your path or your personal path or Journey absolutely uh I just want to
take a moment to uh celebrate yet another swinging of the pendulum because oh I think we've come back to this place so many times over six seasons like it's just so funny but every time it feels a little bit deeper a little bit newer it almost feels like oh my god I've never seen this like this like no you did but only to the depth that you were willing to and this is what maturity is maturity is the recognition that you are a part of life and that we are all in this together you know it is
letting go of that selfishness that is the environment within your thoughts that's what maturity is and I for one rather enjoy this journey true a lot of it has been ah but I really like doing that it's like yeah you like doing that because you think it means something about you and you're kind of forgetting everybody else while you like doing that it's like yeah that's true you know and after a while though you're like right I didn't really need that though my life is better
without that so many things like so many things come down to that and that's maturity the recognition that you're enough but how do you react to that you going to react to that gracefully you going to react to that bitterly like all I can't ever get anything that should mean anything by me or you just you just going to keep going and see what happens and stop trying to tell yourself what life is all about and how it should feel and how it's going to end up and what it
means about you and just just find out you know you don't go onto a roller coaster trying to know every Bend that's going to come oh here comes round number three oh you like it would ruin it for you so ride the ride take what you can from it sometimes it's going to scare you but then that's going to pass and that's as simple as it gets so I just want to celebrate another round around the merrygoround as it were um I look forward to going back into confusion some more and then coming back
towards Clarity once more because that really is the the cycle and it does inform us and it it informs our empathy and it really does make you look at other people and go I don't want to add any weight to your life you got enough [ __ ] going just on your own yeah it definitely it definitely is quite the ride and and worthwhile you know when you don't question it so much or need to decipher it or dissect it you know life feels incredibly full when I don't zoom
into one particular part or onto one concept um but even when I do and then being able to see that and just laugh it off you know cuz it's like oh oh yeah that happened again what else is happening what else is going on right now and then just being able to take that in and then in no time it's you know that moment of confusion is is forgotten or say it isn't the focus anymore uh and on that note we are going to uh wrap this up but thank you so much everybody for joining us for this
episode season 6 episode 41 as we're getting to the end or closer to the end of season 6 and so excited to stay on this journey and uh keep going to uh whatever happens next see you next time bye everyone