hello and welcome to season 6 episode 39 of the Dualistic Unity podcast we are doing this live because we were going to do an episode on Friday but frankly we just weren't feeling it and I think it's really important to recognize you know when you're doing things because you're enthusiastic about them because you have something to say or that you have something to express versus doing it because you think you should and so we're going to do this episode uh where
we would normally record dualistic Raw it's a Sunday morning neither Andrew nor Amanda were aware of the fact that I was going to introduce this as a live episode uh I want to start this one off actually from the start uh because I had an Insight earlier this morning and it's been growing and not an Insight so much as I guess a deepening of how I see life and and reality Humanity myself really you know it's so funny I know as a parent it's easy to get really caught up
in looking at physical growth that we are growing physically as beings and that's true in nature with animals and and mammals and and everything else that we are growing physically but what's also true across the board is that as we grow physically our awareness grows as well the awareness of our entire body grows the awareness of our environment grows the awareness of ourselves grow and so I think that it's really easy to forget that when we're talking about growth it's not just the physical it
really is the growth of our awareness because any animal that doesn't grow its awareness along with its body doesn't survive and so awareness and growth go hand in hand and I think that's really important because when we are young we are at our most vulnerable we have the least awareness in terms of the environment that we're a part of how to use our body even you know have physical faculties you know the physical ability to do things we lack that as well so we have no awareness of those things
because we haven't had a chance to explore them and so in that state we feel incredibly insecure but it's because there is a a lack of awareness there is a lack of understanding there's a lack of ability to align with reality and so it makes sense to me that when we drink for example or when we become deliriously sick and all of a sudden our awareness is sapped it's just drained from us into this thing suddenly we revert to our childlike State suddenly we start going back to that insecurity that
vulnerability and isn't it funny nothing has changed except a lack of awareness it's on the flip side being more aware of things you know with if alcohol cuts that Awareness on both sides you know like the awareness of yourself and what you're expressing and then the awareness of just like situational awareness then you know the flip side can be was like more intense because you're more aware of both sides of the environment and your impact and sway on the environment and I think you know
just being willing to look at that and see that and like you know realize where you're aware of things and like I don't know not looking at them but also not doing things because you should you know like because if there there is sensitivity absolutely but you know when you look for some like it can feel like there's always something you know you got to do in order to let yourself go or in order to relax or you know you have to take steps and there's I think like a
momentto moment sensitivity for sure and self-honesty with things that's felt but I think there can be almost like an obsession with needing to do an additional thing you know on top of just you know being aware and attentive to where you're at you know like being willing to just be involved in the experience that you're in like yesterday when we were at karaoke and stuff like I could almost feel when I started thinking that I should be doing something on top like I was wasn't
doing enough like I had to do you know an extra thing in order I couldn't just be relaxed you know couldn't just be involved and like and so I think if we do if we are attentive to where we're at and we like basically want to be in the place that we're in it's a lot easier to be attentive to it and that's a lot of the line and that's when you know your mind will start coming up with stories about things and so yeah when you're being more responsible and I think
understanding that like all of your choices are yours all the decisions that you make are yours like there's no one else to pass any of those to like every choice that you make it is your decision as much as you feel like oh well you know this you know parents this family that friends this these people you know said this and it's like at the end of the day all of the choices that you make are yours and taking that responsibility can be just really important it feels a lot harder
to say that the choices come from you when you're not judging them you know when you want to find someone to blame you know you want to find someone that is the cause of that choice because if they if they're the source then they're also you know they're the one that you can blame you know whether it's a friend or a circumstance or a lack of experience or whatever it may be it's just it's just you've judged the choice and because you've judged the choice now you want to blame someone for that
choice because it was bad and so now you have to find the bad person that made the bad choice happen and it just sounds like a very um very rudimentary story that you know sounds like a a tall tale or a a some kind of bedtime story with a monster you know it sounds so simple but it's so powerful because you believe that story and of course you believe the story you wrote it and we forget that that that's why it's so believable because it's written by our own fears and then our
fears can be so convincing because we want to we don't even realize how you claim the fear but you don't claim the choice yeah I think that's it is you know it's really easy to as Andrew said react you know you you feel that fear and so you go chasing a solution you try to find a way to get rid of the fear or or to you know do something that makes the fear go away I say kind of the same thing the point is you do something about the fear you run from the fear you
face the fear you act on the fear you basically rein force and perpetuate the fear you know and it's such an easy itch to scratch but if you don't then something else happens and I think that that's what I was talking about at the beginning of the episode if you allow yourself the time and the space your awareness of the situation and the moment that you're a part of grows that's it that's all but so easy it's it's so easy to get caught up in the idea of yourself it's so very easy to get caught
up in the idea of control and to get caught up in the idea of being more it's easy to reach for those thoughts instead of just watching them and being informed by them because there's a lot to be learned from those thoughts there's a lot to be learned from your thoughts about how little you are you know how much you you don't know how much skill you don't have how much you're not enough you know any of those things there's so many things that you can learn from that because we're all going
through them we're all going through them I said this the other day I think it was in a raw episode but when I run across human beings I I really do relate from the perspective of being a human being I don't need to know all the details I know it's [ __ ] hard it's hard to be a human being it's it there's a lot involved there's a lot you know emotions and everything else the the urge to be intellectual rather than authentic there's just so much and so when I meet somebody I just feel for
them right away regardless and even if they're being judgmental even if they're being somebody who who's abrasive there's a reason for that and I feel for them doesn't mean I'm going to tolerate it all the time I'm going to set boundaries I'm going to be honest with people sure there's all of that but the point is is that it's sitting through the discomfort it's sitting through those moments like a good example was yesterday we went to a karaoke contest and and I say contest
but it was all in fun like there was it was [ __ ] hilarious when they introduced everybody as like the finalists in the Namo everybody was just kind of invited last minute by the DJ like hey do you want to come there was there was no semifinals or anything like that but the idea of it being a contest being on a stage being in the middle of the city's largest park with a sizable amount of people there all of those thoughts popped into my head all of them and rather than reach for
them myself as I used to do I suddenly felt a tremendous swell of empathy for every contestant and so I thought it was fascinating that they asked us you know okay everybody who's competing or everybody who's in the contest go backstage but every everybody who was in the contest are the biggest karaoke enthusiasts in the entire town and so it seemed really weird when the first person went up to sing and no nobody who is in the karaoke Community was up front
of the stage able to cheer them on and I felt that and so I just left the designated area and we all kind of did a hostile takeover the front of the stage like we all just went we we're mutinying and left and that was it and immediately the the energy picked up and the people on the stage felt better and the whole time ended up being better but once upon a time I wouldn't have done that I would have been too lost thinking about how I felt my fears my insecurities instead of
looking at them not taking them personally and then realizing [ __ ] you know we're all going through this and it was a great time it was a great time but it's just a little example you know of how easy it is to to make it about you to actually just start thinking about yourself thinking it's going to get you somewhere when in fact it just limits your awareness of the situation as a whole yeah and I I noticed that too with drinking sometimes like it can almost ease the one side because in those
situations you know we were we had had you know two I don't know two or three drinks at that point but dancing kind of in the middle of that karaoke area like it was a great time absolutely and like I could feel the same sort of stuff where it was was like holy [ __ ] there was a time that there's no way I would have done this in front of people like maybe after 12 years or something then then there would be you know a willingness to do that but like kind of knowing
that you can look at a crowd of people and same for the singing and make assumptions about what they're thinking about you and like they're always just your own like where how you're seeing yourself in that moment you're immediately going to assume despite like all of it being a question mark like you don't know like you don't know what's going on in someone else's head you don't know the thoughts that they're thinking you don't know like how they're looking at you or seeing you and and so
when we were there like there was to get on a stage and sing karaoke like and to say stuff and to you know be a little bit High doing it I'm like oh my gosh there was there was a point that there would have not even been an ability like the the sort of fear that would overcome me would just paralyze me and and it hit me yesterday because like I had some of that stuff leading up to that and I just didn't focus on it like I didn't try and get rid of it like you know lump in my throat I'm like yeah
that can that can be there like oh I'm I'm nervous yeah that can be there and it's like not trying to get rid of or suppress that so much it's just looking at it and being like yeah it's cool I can be there like I'm still just you know singing for myself dancing for myself talking for myself like when you don't know what's how it's going to be received how it's going to be looked at how you're going to be viewed like you know might as well kind of focus on your
own experience in the sense of just being relaxed but it's I don't know I I guess it can be tougher to do that when you're thinking about yourself too there's kind of a tension that can go with that immediately so it's like it is looking past that to help you relax a bit but yeah yeah well yeah you it's um we're looking past it because there's more than that in the moment you know the way that you're feeling your perspective your opinions your feelings they're happening
but there's a lot more that's also happening in that moment and and you know when you're I guess when you remember that you it's easier to see past you you're it's almost like noticing that there's more than you in more than you in the room um makes it a lot easier to see other things because that realization just kind of widens your view it widens that attention that attention grows and with more attention you give yourself the best shot to make the most of the moment because you're
making the most of everything that's in that moment and there's more than just the idea of you or just one perspective and in that the moment feels Fuller and deeper and and just a lot more available and a lot more it almost feels like there's like you can you're feeling the potential before it's been shaped absolutely and again it's a sensitivity thing it really is it develops over time but I wanted to talk about this because we're coming up to the end of season six
here and uh we've had a lot of conversations since season 1 and you'll noticed in the last I don't know Season maybe two we've really walked away from the topic of being everything of being God we haven't had a lot of that conversation lately and the reason is because it can become another way to think about yourself it can become another way to just continuously reassure the idea of yourself that you know you're in control all of your assumptions are true you have value you
have the right way you have all of that and it becomes just another [ __ ] trap where you find yourself going around the internet begging people to validate you in the comment section and then arguing back and forth because you don't feel validated and so I want to talk about this because we've had this conversation recently as much as it is true that you are reality itself that you are existence are you truly everything and what does that mean and I mean that sincerely because as soon as
you say I am the all I am the everything you have an idea of that you have formed a concept of that and that concept is a limited a that concept is not the reality that that is an assumption based on what you think you know on the experiences that you have had in your lifetime and so when you start going down that road of I am everything you are really still struggling for a sense of value because the reality of being everything is the same as being nothing at all it's what you already are it's
not something you have to think about and as soon as you do you've limited it you've cut it in half at least and so I think it's very dangerous to start thinking you know I am the all of everything I am I am everyone and as much as it's true your idea of it is not no because as soon as as soon as that becomes an idea it becomes like what you see everything through and it's very much like yourself like it absolutely can become that idea that then you got to try and convince other
people of or then almost assume like if someone else isn't seeing things like that or recognizing that like it can be a it's a very fascinating thing to like think about yourself like that and then look at everyone who doesn't see that as as like less yep than it's it's alarming and like there are times where you know I've realized that in myself over the last you know couple years and in ways like you know it's it's the idea becomes a different idea kind of brings you makes you feel better
to kind of carry you through things and just distract yourself from all there's still no sensitivity when there's an idea or there's a lot less you know it's not black and white of course but there's significantly less when you're looking through a veil of something like I want to think about myself in some way to like get me through this sort of thing and you can like I was feeling that a little bit when we were drinking a bit yesterday like feeling better about it was like a a different idea
came into play or like the the thoughts quiet and I was very aware of like the difference in experience between like being high being on something else like being and being drunk like it it's not so much an awareness that's then you can relax through but it's just your mind kind of quiets and it's not so much there talking but it's still you know impacting things in the background but yeah I mean as soon as there's some sort of idea of yourself that you're like focused on or trying to defend or
maintain like there's there's a lot that goes with that you know there's a there's protection you know that goes with that this sense of like rigidity in protecting it because you got to be careful it's like you're you're a step or two behind reality all the time because you're trying to like be in control of yourself you know and like just your your ability and I don't know sometimes it feels like there's a there's like a gap between like being that step behind and being like at the
Forefront like at the front of your front of your face front of your eyes like paying attention being aware that you know it's not just it's not just you involved in situations like there's a lot happening and to to focus on yourself at all like you're going to keep missing things that are happening over and over and over and it's like it can feel like you sink deeper into that but it's still in the moment it's still the focus and the it feels like sometimes the
deeper it goes with that that that it can it can almost feel like you're further from being here from being able to be attentive from being able to relax and like you know start now start now and like because the story almost gets bigger the swell the assumptions they build they build they build and then that turns into you know likely depression and the the idea just gets so strong it's like you assume there's got to be a way out you know something you got to do in order to let that drop and
it's I think for me recently it's been like oh just not being like not caring so much that it's been focused on for a while like oh I don't I can I can let myself be like I don't it's not it's kind of like a not giving a [ __ ] about how it's been but like taking the responsibility as well because it comes with that like it's not it's not a there's no free lunches you know like with that awareness of yourself more self-honesty like it comes with responsibility for things and if you
don't want to look at that side of it like the awar like the awareness sensitivity like it doesn't go with it like there is a necessary balance with it that you can't really Escape if you're not being responsible or that you can it is interesting to think about the uh I am everything I am all kind of concept because it's like I remember I remember like just this morning thinking about um how little I've been stretching right so I am I'm paying attention to one body and I don't even pay attention
to everything that's happening in it so imagine if I was like oh I am everyone and everything and I've got enough attention I will keep track of all of me I will know what everyone's feeling we will always be able to it's like you wouldn't you barely do that for the one body you're living in now so it's just um hubris you know a little bit of huus to think you know I've got I've got this I won't ever drop the ball you know and it's and there is no ball to drop but
it's just that you there is no way that you could pay attention to every Nuance thing at the same time from the one perspective and as much as you feel like you have to you don't you know as if I'm paying attention to what the moment feels like from the perspective of Amanda that is my whole moment that is everything that I need to pay attention to um because that is still connected to everything else and everyone else's quote unquote moment and and you know
it's funny because we were chatting with a friend who is an actor who has been acting for a long time and you know many people that are in the acting profession will forget that we all put on a role we all put on a show we all all have a script we all have costumes we all Put on We all put on these roles and we change them out so they're not so different from people who are not on a physical legit stage because it very much feels like life is a stage and we
are always changing roles it's just that sometimes we we take the role too seriously and we can always remind ourselves that as as easily as we picked up the role we can easily put it down and you don't have to replace a role and in order to feel like it's authentic in its performance see that's very true wanted to go back to what you were saying there about you know being all I think we forget how that works because again we want to make it about us we really do we want we want to be
like I am God I can change the world I know the way I went from me to Invincible me straight up but I mean and and you'll know that you're going in that direction when you start thinking that other people should change according to what you think they should do because then you're in the cerebral idea that's when you're like yes I'm God and therefore my intelligence is intelligence itself and it's yes and no yes and no I mean the god you is already doing everything
perfectly that's that's really it like there there's which means that there's no effort involved it's not like you know the part of you that you're saying is the all of everything isn't taking notes it's it's not you know thinking to itself how are things going on Earth right now oh [ __ ] maybe we should turn left like it's not it's not thinking in that way at all that's all us being in control that's all our mentality of you know this is what's happening and this
is the action that I think I'm going to perform but that's all small scale thinking right like that's all disregarding all the influences that have helped you come to that conclusion right and that's what I mean when I say that the reality is that we are all cells in a body right but our intelligence is working all the time the cells inform each other via sensitivity those moments where you just bring up a subject and you don't know why there's something happening there right those
moments when you go into a conversation and you don't know what to say but it's because the other person is getting something off their chest there is something happening there and you might tell yourself a story well I'm insecure that's why I don't know what to say you know if I a knew but more I'd be saying this but the simple fact is is that that's all you just getting in the way again you see what I'm saying though like there's a difference between the awareness of
existence and what you think the awareness of existence is in the same way there's a difference between intelligence and what you think intelligence is see we always equate intelligence to being clever we equate intelligence to Concepts memorization memorization feeling like we can be in control bending our will to something you know making it happen this is how we gauge our ability to be intelligent it's like what separates humans oh our technology you know okay so our ability
to force our will on reality we're not the only ones who make tools though so it's not like that's what I'm saying but we tend to think that's what dictates intelligence but reality has been existing and continuing on forever right there's intelligence in that when mushrooms basically the the mycelium that informs and reinfor reinforces and and supplies all the nutrients to other plant life there's intelligence there when we see Ivy climbing up a tree but only climbing as far as it can get
enough light and then stopping and going back down so it doesn't endanger the tree like all of that is intelligence it's just not the intelligence that we identify with because there's no sense of control in that right right this is why that um that fungus we were talking about the Slime uh the Slime that where they basically used this Mo slime mold and it had enough intelligence to redesign the Japanese Railway system oh yeah right so basically they just created a model of
Japan and they put uh food or or nutrient sources where all the cities were and then they introduced the Slime relation to population Rel the population oat and then the slime mold basically figured out how to connect all of those points of nutrients and resources so that way everybody all of the slime mold could use it the most efficiently and it designed it better than the Japanese rail system wow it was more efficient there's intelligence there in terms of we find a
way to do the thing effectively over time over time but because humans have this immediate control we tend to lose fact lose sight of the fact that intelligent change is happening over time that's where the whole Evolution thing came from right survival of the fittest BL natural selection it's not as simple as natural selection like there is a physical adaptation happening on a planetary level it's not just one species to another all those species affect other
species yeah right there's a collective intelligence happening but it's not the intelligence that you get to claim it's not the intelligence where you get to go I am that as soon as you do that you've stepped out you've stepped out of your own intelligence for the sake of self soothing for the sake of feeling like you're in control for the sake of feeling like you can get what you want and you know what that is and the whole [ __ ] narrative to perpetuate the
story of you and that's the practice do you need that story do you need to be everything do you need to be God because if you do you're trying to be an idea because you think you're an idea and that's what takes away all of your ease it's what removes your ability to empathize in the moment and actually be of service not to someone not to people but by virtue of the fact that you're not putting yourself first not putting the fiction of you first oh absolutely and that yeah
like trying like because with that comes this feeling of like the responsibility goes towards changing People convincing people getting people to understand something instead of being yourself like there's absolutely a trade and again like I'm resonating with this so like in my in my experience with that sort of like it was pretty much on the it was three years ago that like I realized oh like Andrew was this narrative story you know that I had been telling myself over
and over and it was based on the past and so like if I'm here then maybe I'm not you know this character this story and then That progressed Into You know the podcast and the thought like discussions about things and this sense of like being everything and it can just turn into straight up another idea and I almost like yesterday when we were at karaoke and kind of dancing I was was there was almost like a cycling through different stories you know I I remembered different stories from like
middle school that I would tell myself like how I saw myself in sixth grade you know was totally different than how I viewed myself you know when I was 18 or or 25 and it was it was this Progressive story and I was remembering you know times even in elementary school where it was like this this story and this difference in story and and like real and I had a point before that I'm not remembering right now but um like just realizing how much that's been at the Forefront and
then more recent oh yeah and then more recently it was that sense of like straight up oh it's like you know and and everyone's got stories they tell themselves and narratives and stuff but yeah I can that sort of sense of oh being being everything you know it can make you feel good about yourself when you think about yourself when you're alone you know when you're in absolute control when you're not in you know even a conversation you know with a bunch of people it's like the ideas the stories
don't help you through life through anything and because before then yeah there were different stories but it wasn't like a as as much of a gap sort of story you know like it yeah it was more just I don't know being myself in a sense not as disconnected from things because you know if if you're relying on a a very strong idea that like isn't based in reality really as much like it can disconnect you a lot just disconnect you from moments from experiences like when you're talking to someone and
they're just like you oh sorry I just spaced out for a bit like of times that's thinking about how to have control thinking about yourself thinking about yourself in relation to you know the situation and how to get what you want next instead of like just being willing to not know that like you don't really know what you want what's best for you like you don't have to focus on all of those things you can you know pay attention yeah I find that fascinating and and I really do just because it's
something that the Mind our sense of control just doesn't want it just doesn't like it right at all but it's something that you realize more and more as you start to practice letting go that your life everything that you're looking for through control is is already available like it's already available but it requires you to just let go but that means let go of trying to feel good let go of trying to feel like you're going to get what you want and maybe accepting that you
don't know what you want right or that the want itself is coming from a place that you haven't reconciled right like there's something to the recognition that if you wake up today and you go out into the world and instead of trying to plan what the outcome of every scenario is going to be you just float from one scenario to another from one situation to another without expectation without it needing to be anything you will find the most incredible [ __ ] happens in your daily
life it's awesome like I will go out in the day and then somehow end up talking to people I've never met before in conversations never saw coming that end up furthering things in my life they end up enriching how I feel about my day they end up you know teaching me more about people they inform the podcast they do all these things and and and again like it's just me floating around but that means being willing to say go to a bookstore looking for a book somebody comes up up to you and says hey
do you know about such and such and such and not going [ __ ] I just want to find my book it means not doing that it means that moment is oh this is what's happening right now this is what's happening right now and I'm going to give it my attention wholeheartedly like Perhaps it is more important than whatever I thought was important a moment ago than the journey I had conceptually in my mind this moment is Real This Moment is the rudder of the ship and we forget
that we get really caught up in trying to go but it's not what I want I want to go this way if I waste time here and there's the expression if I waste time here rather than realizing if you're not paying attention to this moment you are wasting time here and real like realizing that that it's like on you you know it's on you whether or not you're attentive because that sense of like you know the floating around moment to moment it's it's a different sort of experience like the
willingness to be informed by your experience instead of trying to you know schedule parse things out like oh I absolutely know that if I if I do these things in this way schedule this out make this to-do list do this thing that like this is going to get me eventually down the road to the thing I absolutely 100% want and like you can just focus on that every single day and you know appreciate your experience fully as well but I guess it's always a balance and
there is no black and white with it like it's all gray area and that I think is a a big difference in not holding on to so much of a sense of you know yourself and shoulds and shouldn't and all that is like things become more of a gray area because otherwise it is everything seems black and white you know everything it's like no this can't do this until this like you know this situation can't give it full attention because like this situation here instead and it's like no
your whole life can be if it is being informed like there it doesn't have to be black and white it doesn't have to be fully scheduled out because it's never going to be you know like the rigid schedule versus like the complete floating around there's always variation but it can be I guess easier to bounce around and Float around when you're not focused so much on yourself and how you're doing and then every situation gets a little bit lighter and easier you
know when it's not oh how am I doing you know how am I do how am I going to do how do I best get what I think should be happening out of this situation like you really don't know and like the roles that we play even when we do feel like we're doing things absolutely incorrectly you know there's there's still things happening even then you know there's still things being realized noticed shifts happening changes happening and like that's going to be going on regardless of what you're
assuming you know should be playing out but yeah it's like how willing are you to just be focused and relax on on your experience like that's that's your influence right there is that Focus I mean there are so many examples where I was certain that things went horribly wrong or I made the wrong choice or I did something incorrectly and it just led to an opportunity that I don't think I would have found otherwise you know and so all those moments that are so
wrong are wrong from you know from that perspective that it shouldn't have happened that way but everything everything keeps going you know and as much as we want to judge our progress progress is still being made there's still change that's always happening and so it's like oh you don't like what's happening wait five minutes most likely something else will be happening you know oh you like what's happening wait five minutes that will that will change you know like it's just
whether you like it or don't like it is secondary life is happening regardless of your opinion but your opinion is certainly informative it doesn't have to feel oppressive it doesn't have to feel like it's predictive but it certainly is informing you of what that priority of of that moment is you know so if you're not liking it then the priority is that this moment is not enough that in in your opinion it should be something else or you should be something else or someone else should be
different but this moment as is is not enough and why is that right because you're so sure that it should be something else and and then what you know you don't get your way and then what does life end no it keeps going it's always it is always going it's just that we can make a um pointless effort to try to hit some breaks but all we're doing is is just gritting teeth as change is happening so I love the expression you know let go or be dragged and it's not that you're dragged by some
a movable Force some God that you haven't either recognize as you or something that's separate from you it's that this moment feels like it's being dragged on because you're holding on to the concept and not paying attention to the moment and it feels like pulling teeth you know it's funny like the reason I I bring this up is because very often on social media or or any of our platforms somebody will reach out and they want to have the intellectual conversation about being everything
about all infinite perspective and you know Humanity coming together and all that stuff and I understand from the point of view where that's coming from it feels like you've made a lot of progress you know it feels like you're really like moving along getting the understanding knowing quote unquote but truth be told over time you start to realize that that conversation can become just as much an avoidance as everything else it's not that the conversation it does itself
doesn't have value but it can become another way to avoid what the conversation's really talking about this why I love the expression that philosophy is the disease for which it should be the Cure because philosophy is just about looking at life asking the questions but then it becomes an intellectual exercise you become a philosopher and suddenly all of that good stuff that came with asking questions and freeing yourself from assumption becomes another prison and so over time I've realized
that some of the most profound conversations I've had with people had nothing to do with the all of everything and had everything to do with the conversation that we were having then and there the ease that they were embodying you know the lack of concern about how they were perceived the choices that they made for themselves these things in a normal conversation scream wisdom far more than proclaiming yourself to be the all of everything if I'm sitting down for a conversation with
somebody and they keep going on and on about how they're everything there's a lot of need there there's a lot of need that still exists there whereas I've heard to sit down with somebody who's never heard of being the all of everything and really didn't give a [ __ ] was just happy to sit there on a park bench and enjoy the watching the [ __ ] wave you know or have a conversation about skateboards who knows even if they didn't know anything about skateboards
and' be like yeah okay let's [ __ ] dig in that person knows far more than the cerebral the cerebral conversation will ever know they may not even know that they know it that's the beautiful part about it there's no way for them to take credit for knowing what it is to just be themselves to have those moments and so I find it so funny that you know your average bushwhacker who spends his time alone in the woods just being practical Common Sense down to earth salt of the
earth kind of thing far more grounded than most philosophers throughout history [ __ ] than most religious and spiritual gurus straight up because at least their relationship with you is based on the Here and Now not to say that they're always there sure that conversation may take that person's life and just widen that they might go that's what I've been doing this whole time it's just chilling and being right that's why I like nature you know like that kind of thing all of a sudden
there's insight there but it's not necessary they're already enjoying their existence they're already aligning with the moment that they're in it has nothing to do with being an intellectual it has nothing to do with being in the recognition or in the no that's why I used to always laugh about people who are in the no but don't know what they're talking about it's like I'm in the no I don't know what it is but I know it like that's just you want to feel better like why so
avoidant in saying you don't why is that such a threat like why why are you gravitating towards no no I know because there's a reason you don't have to claim anything at all oh my gosh yeah like man that sense of because it can just be something you think about it's just straight up another way to think about yourself instead of looking at it as more as like being a life liver like how much of a life liver are you and then talking about that like that's been such a stark difference
admittedly for me moving to Nimo versus New York like people are here are very like the I can't and it's just starting to settle in for me as we're like out and about interacting with more people like the conversation the pace of conversation is is faster in a sense because it isn't it isn't so much the curated like societal dialogue like there was a way that you're you could almost be taught like a safe way to have conversations and then you know there's and I'm realizing when I'm you know kind
of out and about seeing other people that we don't interact with hang out with as much you know that I'm remembering how often in convers like regular conversations there would be like periods of quiet you know and then someone would bring something up that they've been like reading about or a podcast they've been listening to and then it's like sharing information about how individually each person is growing themselves like becoming more in themselves and talking about that like
you know what your job is is like a Forefront of conversation almost all the time whereas I've noticed here that it comes up at points but it's rarely the Forefront of conversation like there isn't like here there aren't like walls conversations as much there's so much more of a free flow but you got to be attentive you got to be in the conversation straight up because if you're not you keep missing everything and there isn't like a structured thing to revert to so much
and and I'm realizing now like oh yeah this is our podcast I can just talk about my experience that I've been going through here obviously and because it's hitting me more and want throw out there though don't move to Vancouver Island SS here yeah pace is pace is way too fast air is gross people are awful terrible yeah yeah yeah just and there's no karaoke it sucks and and like seeing how vital it is to just to be attentive to be relaxed like it's it's a necessary component whereas for
more of a structured societal like I don't know societal Norm type conversation you know talking about and not again this isn't like because there's not a difference there's not black and white but you know the focus on just certain topics or just bringing up as something to talk about I guess that's conversation too as I'm realizing but like not often yeah often conversations happen for a point yeah you can feel it you go into a conversation somebody they're almost
like just waiting to give you their business card and I've met lots of people like that straight up I've actually had people tell me you know if you meet somebody you give them your business card you meet someone you give them your business C like holy [ __ ] that's a racist like like what if I don't want your [ __ ] business card you know what if having a conversation with me that didn't revolve around your need to do business is actually better for your life and
mine right but that's what I mean most conversations people get into it for a point I mean this is the reason like there's a difference between say the corner lounge and the terminal Pub right terminal Pub a lot of intention people are there looking to meet someone looking to to get laid looking to find that partner looking to find that validation you can feel it because the conversation at the terminal is always very short and always very you know direct it's just like you know is are
you the one I'm looking for are you the one no I already lost interest I'm gonna move on and that's what it feels like whereas you go to the corner Lounge you could sit there chatting with somebody for a [ __ ] hour for an hour and then they just [ __ ] off and then you run into them later on because they're not going anywhere they know they're going to be here next week they're not trying to meet anyone they're here to sing see the difference and that's I think what you're feeling in terms of
conversation people sing more here metaphorically yeah for sure and there that intention too there's a difference when it's not there isn't so much of an intent behind like so much of a when people aren't putting on so much of a show they're not pulling from people as much like especially moving from New York again it's not like everyone's different and there isn't this generalization type thing just in my experience meeting people it's been a difference in people
being a lot more relaxed in a lot of ways but again it's like I'm hanging out with different types of people here too so New York is less so but yeah and like noticing that as well like as you're changing your priority the conversations that people can have with you are changing how much of it is you know Nimo how much of it is you it's fair yeah because it goes kind of hand in hand with that too but yeah it's uh yeah it's been it's been really interesting like just experiencing differences in
conversation especially and like even like long having long conversations where it's like that attention gotta keep paying attention to like and and it reminds me kind of like at bars like my conversations they would be longer when there was but there was always a drive you know there was always this deeper intention that was coming from like a strong sense of need and now that that sense of need isn't as isn't as strong but it's still like it's almost more felt when it is there
instead of it being like a subdued constant so much and you know you were mentioning the other day just like the differences when you're focused on structure and like having a sort of structure to your day to your mind into the way you think about yourself being sure of your perspective it's your mind's more of a prison and when that isn't there it can be more like quicksand and it can you know you can revert into that like being disconnected more quickly more easily because there is
more uncertainty you're kind of floating around a little bit more things are less known but you know it's it's understanding that it can be quicksand like it's if you're assuming that it's still that prison that was in the structure then it's like oh this is that structured thing so this must be sure because when it was structured I was sure of that but like I still wasn't sure of all that you know when it feels more like quick sand when you get lost in your head lost in your thoughts
focused on something else some other idea your idea of yourself that you feel like you can think about like it can yeah it can pull you in quick but then you can snap out of it just as quickly too yeah I like the way you put that I'll pass it to Amanda right after this I see the prison is the assumption that we know right so all out of all of these perspectives that we could have we know which ones are the right ones we hold on to those assumptions of oursel of the
world of people of so on and so forth right but as soon as you question those as soon as you're willing to question any of them now they all could be possible and that's where where that quicksand feeling comes from right because if they could all be possible are you going to fall back into that habit into of believing any of them are you g to fall back into that habit of grabbing on to any of them and that's the practice is when you let go of the Assumption watch The Habit to assume
because it's got a lot more to play with now yeah there's a lot more a lot more there and yeah because it opens it up to like you said all all potentials it's like and if your mind wants to focus on something then that'll be a new wall from like all the other potentials cycling through like the ability to like use your mind as a servant instead of the servant Master sort of thing like your mind is a incredible servant and a terrible master and that's kind of the
the difference is like are you believing are are you believing that your thoughts are true that your perception of yourself is true that your certainty about the world and right and wrong and what should and shouldn't be happening and all of your opinions are you sure of that because if that's the case then your mind's going to be that Master it's like the certainty is the guarantee that the story you're telling yourself the thoughts in your head are correct whereas when your mind's more of a
servant for yourself you're willing to be uncertain but then that comes with you know willing to be sensitive to your environment and experience and you know responsible for yourself but it's like way more informative and that's what that's the difference you know when I do feel more relaxed is it feels more like oh it's action first attention first talking first thinking is happening in the background back there it's not in the for it's not like thinking happens
first and then you talk second which is more of a logical approach to things it's like I think about things and then I react it's like no I react in using my mind but because I'm sensitive and aware I'm being informed and then I can trust myself but the logic is and the philosophizing too that's very much mind first it's like oh I have a brilliant mind beautiful mind yeah I know instead of like not taking credit for it and being able to actually use your mind and enjoy it and appreciate it
like oh man yeah it's it's and that's so much of how we think about ourselves too is that those thoughts you know at the Forefront it's like your mind is in the way of your experience of reality and your ability to really fully be involved in it and attentive to it and relax it's like when your mind is first it's that sense of no I know how to do this I I have this sense of control this guarantee that if if I think about these things in this way and you know think about myself in
this way and think about these you know make the pros and cons list and focus on that instead that's all replacing the sensitivity and the ability to like be informed by your environment like in the moment which is like moment to moment to moment it's not something that you can think about it's not something you can try to control necessarily but it's much different much different experience for sure but well that's why it's so um it's great to remind ourselves that it's
momentto moment awareness but in each moment you're always starting over and every moment there is nothing but potential so it doesn't matter what you've done in the past or what you think about it or what you think could happen in the future in this moment you can go in any direction and and then we we talk about how it can sometimes feel like quicksand because you're like well if anything happen it's like you know that that feels like it's almost risky and it's like yeah
but Anything Could Happen isn't the one scary hypothetical that you're worried about happening that's not anything you know that's that's a very specific example you know anything is potential unscripted undescribed Anything Could Happen what if it's this thing it's just as likely for things to go well why aren't you why AR aren't you leaning on that on that hypothetical in the quicksand why does it feel like quicksand because it's not that you're feeling the anything you're feeling the
something that could go wrong but we like to pretend that we're saying anything anything could happen I'm terrified of one thing but we're going to call that one thing anything so that I can look logical I can look like I'm objective like I'm being reasonable it's like no the mind isn't necessarily a master um when we're not paying attention to it but it is an excellent Warden it is a wonderful Storyteller it does all those things um and then we say that we are Mastered by those stories we
are we are under the under the control of our emotions you know that's why logic it's such a good has such good PR because we think that logic is this intellectual rational reasonable method of control and our emotions are usually more informative than the logic concept that we're holding on to but we feel like that we decide that the emotions because they're quote unquote uncontrollable they must be less valuable but the emotions and the concepts are doing the same thing
they're informing you of the priority what are you prioritizing are you prioritizing the concept are you paying attention to everything else that's happening and you can feel that and then when you feel that you haven't been doing that okay great here's an opportunity I can start right now you know doesn't matter if I caught myself lost in thought I'm stuck sitting on a chair for 15 minutes quote unquote Doom scrolling for four hours doesn't matter there is no such thing as wasted time
because everything is informing the moment that's unfolding and every moment that's unfolding is informing the next one so how is anything wasted what where is this where is this horrible scenario to to avoid because even when I do think that my work world has ended it you know what did end the world of that concept and what and what was born from that was unrealized you know undescribed potential that wasn't funneled through another concept and that felt light and free
and risk-free because what's there what's the risk what are we losing you're never losing potential you're never losing the moment so what what are we scared of what's the what's the risk what could you lose only an idea and then when you see that it's just a concept you're like okay well that's not so bad yeah that's the thing it's it's a practice we had a conversation yesterday about intuition and I thought it was fascinating because he was saying like well you know I I should follow my
intuition it's like right but your intuition can be swayed by fear and desire like your fear and desire is going to sway your intuition you're going to create a bias so now it's not your intuition it's your intuition plus you it's your intuition plus a little ego intuition asteris absolutely right absolutely exactly may not perform as out um but results not guaranteed but this is where we come back to where we started which is in attention it's awareness now so as you're having a
conversation as you watch your insecurities pop up you watch your need to try and prove yourself pop up as you watch yourself trying to gain a sense of control or value as you watch these things pop up and you don't rise to them there is another track of information that happens at the same time that informs the conversation it informs your actions but it's just through paying attention and that's where you find your intuition in the momentto moment facing of your needs and
fears it's in looking at them looking through them and then acting accordingly because that's where you find your empathy when you stop making it about you this has been a fantastic episode I'm really glad that uh we took the opportunity to do this I know I did not announce it to anybody before we did this um but it's been just a great conversation and I'm glad that we took the two days from Friday till now to come back to this conversation because again like there are times where if
you're forcing it you're just getting in the way of that intuition maybe be honest and say ah we're just forcing it give it some time maybe I don't know the right time maybe giving people in afternoon where we're not there not living up to their expectations of us live streaming at a certain time is good for them too and maybe it's not maybe we don't know it's the point you know who are you living for your idea of others or your intuition right now are you actually being honest with yourself or
are you just running from another fear towards another need and you're the only one who can see that but that's the point it's very sobering when you really do look at it that way and that's when your awareness grows but we are going to wrap up this episode in a few minutes here I just wanted to make an announcement because I'm very excited about this port Al Bernie is almost sold out um we only have three tickets left for the port Al Bernie Retreat which is coming up on November 2nd if you are
interested in joining us for this Retreat it's November 2nd to November 10th we've already said all the details but in summary there's a hot tub there's a chef uh there's a sweet gazebo there's two national parks nearby we're going whale watching we've got massage we've got yoga we've got some live music there's a pool table we do nightly karaoke it's pretty much the dopest experience it's it's basically the sleepover you always wanted with the kind of people who could enjoy it with
you so much fun if you can join us check out the website dualistic unity.com or if you're watching the video you can click on the QR code uh these tickets are are likely going to go fast but don't worry as uh we have some mini Retreats that are being planned right now coming up for 2025 we will be listing the states and provinces where those Retreats will be happening in the next week or so on patreon so keep an eye out for that if you're not on patreon already highly
encourage you to join us on patreon we do groups five days a week it's a lot of fun I know you know you may be thinking to yourself well I don't know if I can get into a group and really have you know anything to say I'm kind of nervous or anything like that it doesn't hurt to just jump into the group you don't even have to turn your video on you can just listen to how the conversation goes and what you'll find is that it's not the way you think it goes that it really is
just a normal conversation this isn't about high-minded spirituality as much as we do get into it from time to time the fact is is that you are far more important the reality of you is far more important than the concept of everything because the more you're willing to just to be the con like to be you and just be yourself and not hold on to so many bars and expectations and certainty you know about how much you're focused on it's very it's it can be very sobering and it's important you know to
check yourself I think from time to time when you're focusing on yourself in a certain way and and thinking about yourself in a certain way or focusing on trying to you know control something or make assumptions about something and and just be honest with yourself that they're coming from you and you can use you know other people to try and validate those opinions and perceptions but they're all coming from you really so uh this has been this has been a great episode
really excited for that poor alburnie Retreat and uh yeah be on chatting with you soon yeah absolutely could not recommend and the port alurn Retreat more um it is it is amazing and it is an epic sleepover asterisk no handholding included um but for Jesus a lot of good laughs and a lot of opportunities as in every moment to not make it about you and to see that life can feel so much more can feel Fuller because the idea is such a small thing it's such a small piece and
so when you let go of the idea being the only thing you see how much how much life is taking up space in this moment and so thank you for joining us and and we look forward to chatting soon hope you can join us at a patreon call or at a retreat or just here on the live comments we appreciate all of you joining Wherever You Are