Roundtable #36 (Beyond Identity: The Power of Presence) | Dualistic Unity

did it is the thingy doing huzzah success I mean how often do I get to say huzzah no it's a great way to start this episode of the round table I don't even know what round table number this is and frankly it doesn't really matter it's another round table we've been doing so many of these uh over the last three years and it dawned on me earlier today just how much my life has been enriched by them like I really enjoy getting a chance to just to just sit down and

listen to everybody else communicate whatever the hell this conversation conversation means to them you know it was great today because we had a meeting with uh some local business owners who we had never met but they saw us on social media and we loved their tater tots and uh we went in and we chatted with them and there was no in-depth conversation about like God and awareness we're all W there was none of that but there was a lot of genuine appreciation for the recognition of

authenticity as something that that's important in our life like just that just that a lot of what we do is to promote authenticity people resonate like that with that like a [ __ ] and why because it's something that we're all looking for just to be ourselves right and so I thought that was great it was really interesting just to realize how much this is evolved for me because as much as much as it is still there are no others and and we're all one and the concept of you is not

you and so on and so forth that's really just a conversation about being yourself you know it's it's exciting to see it growing that way yeah very excited great to see everyone here and yes that meeting was a lot of fun um it's really like with every especially in the last couple days just hitting me more and more how much it's really not about learning something specific it's like everything's about about the action and doing things and like being able to speak from that so

it's not even something that you're concerned about necessarily like during that business meeting today like there were a few times where I even though we went in with out AG an agenda or a plan we were like let's go chat with them they want to chat there's maybe ways that we can work together like I had a few times where I kind of felt myself almost sinking back a little and I'm like wait a second we're already doing the thing like we're already hanging with these people chatting like it's

already going on it's like I don't have to make like make it into something make it more it's like it's already going on like it was already a success when we sat down and we're like Hey we're here to here to chat and not needing to live up to so so much of a bar I think sometimes I'll look for that when we do go into meetings like without an agenda without like we're going to talk about this and have some sort of structure and it's like it's way more fun it was one

of the most fun like technically I guess it was a business meeting but it was seemed like just a time hanging chatting with uh chatting with friends so yeah just taking the actions and and doing more of just that without thinking so much about how it's going yeah it was it was incredible to be there and I definitely had waves where I was like oh no oh what should I should be saying something different or I I felt an insecurity about uh not saying something or or not being able to contribute or

not really knowing where the conversation was supposed to go and uh and feeling that and then also feeling just as much the potential that it doesn't that it could go in the direction that I think it should and in any other direction and that would be okay that it was just okay to be there to chat when I to say something when I did um to to feel like I was contributing and to feel like I was listening to other contributions you know and so it felt it felt really good

um it just felt very full it it was it was refreshing and I'm really glad that that we went and I'm so like I'm so glad that they were receptive to it and I'm very excited to see where our conversations go with them and you know and everywhere else that we happen to to connect with someone so it feels feels pretty cool yeah posting karaoke we'll get more into that later on we'll talk more about the possibility of dualistic Unity hosted karaoke outside of du Retreats oh uh that said

it's a round table so for everybody who's not watching you should know that we have guests we have three guests with us today we have Jazz Levi and Marie which is [ __ ] exciting this is GNA be a fun conversation I'm G to pass it over to Jazz and just see where this goes Jazz what the [ __ ] up hello everyone nice to be back on a round table it's been quite a while it feels like since I've been on a round table so this is nice I'm glad people could make it as

well I have been just having the most intense day it feels like like oh my Lord like mind has been going insane and just like I don't know putting that aside and doing whatever I actually want to do and sometimes like being so traumatized by whatever like how heavy it feels that okay maybe I'll take a nap now maybe that's what's appropriate at this point but I don't know since the conversation we had on Sunday it feels like it's I don't know that um I don't know I'll just give a

I don't even know what the word is summary summ yes summary a repeat or uh my perception yes flashback there we go snapshot a snippet absolutely um so I was talking about a conversation that I was having with a friend um the day before on Sundays um patreon call and about how the conversation started really heavy and it ended really light and there were parts of me that wanted to attach to some way or somehow that it happened you know there's some story to create around how it went from being

heavy to being light and ultimately it felt like um in my experience that it was just what was happening like it didn't feel like I was trying to make it light it was just it was heavy and I was fine with it being heavy oftentimes things are heavy especially with my parents and I have never taken it as a personal respon or I have actually absolutely taken it as a personal responsibility to fix that heaviness so I definitely get what it feels like to try to make things

light try to make things happy try to make things okay and then there are times when I'm just I don't know there with my friend and things are intense and you know what like this is intense like okay let's just be intense and someone will bring up some conversation about let's say that the conversation is not about authenticity let's say the conversation is about I have a problem let's fix this and sometimes the conversation just goes in that direction and so that's the direction it took in

that instance and so it played out and that was that but it fell to me that the conversation that we had on Sunday it felt to me like it was me like what was being perceived was that I was trying to fix something or I was trying to I don't know um make something better make myself feel like something special like I am the one that's doing this to you that I am the one that is like because of me this is happening and I'm not sure that that's the case but what I do feel like is that hanging out

with you guys hanging out at Retreats has made me has allowed me to see another way to live and it has allowed me and it's all been work that I did like if I didn't do that work then it wouldn't have happened but at the same time I do feel like if I didn't run across you guys then this would have taken me longer it that's what it feels to me like that I probably would have gone through some surgeries maybe if I had the opportunity to do it it's entirely possible that the

realization would have taken me long enough until postsurgery even and I guess that's just where I wanted to start this conversation because I don't know that that's what was happening but it seems to me like there was something that was trying to be gotten out of of that conversation like a role was being played because I have spent 25 years paying attention and so let me let me tell you where something might be happening here I I just all I can say is thank you first of all I for making us

useful um but the the other thing is I look back at at my life and and while there are a few key people that I could say had an impact on my journey everyone helped me get to where I am right exactly when I got there and so it was inevitable it wasn't us it was very much just a matter of time based on the [ __ ] that you were doing in yourself you know like if you weren't doing it already this conversation would have blown you right by right you wouldn't have even heard it

right and it wouldn't have caught your attention because you weren't willing to process any of the things that we were chatting about and and that's that's really it and so yeah I just it's a pleasure to be part of your church right and and I feel the same way about mine I'll tell you that right now like I I look at my journey I go man I could have I could have made this so much worse you know like I could have made it way harder before I finally got my head out of my ass you know and I'm

really glad that I didn't I have the exact same thought and I'm grateful in the same way to everybody who played their part in that but again there's that perspective of division you know like maybe we're all growing together I mean that's that's what this is that's what I'm getting out of this you know I've learned a lot since I met you you know so we're all getting something it's fun it's fun to be a part of because I've felt the same way same exact way like there is no way I would

be where you know whatever that means where I'm at if I hadn't come across the opportunity to have the conversation but like everone here anyone who's ever come across dualistic Unity like they're thinking about things in their own life anyway and so it makes me wonder with the seamlessness of things growing and expanding like everyone who's ever gotten involved in dualistic Unity or like interacted with it or like you know this community whatever whatever all of that means like has had

such a such a massive impact in it because it's like it really is isn't something separate from our experiences like it's not a thing to to look like obviously not a thing to look to or follow but it's like it's it's an expression and embodiment of like all of us going through going through our things and so the way that dual Community is now versus at the beginning is like directly reflective of everyone who's ever gotten involved and come across it which is really cool like

be a part of that it's like what's it going to be today what's this round table going to be today well whatever whatever we're bringing for the table right now it's it's this and this is not what I think because what I think is not happening it's what I'm thinking is an opinion what I'm thinking is a hypothetical but it's not here and so no matter what I think no matter how it makes me feel no matter how how old or new that thought is it's just not what's happening and so I'm I'm

so grateful to be having these chats and to be influenced by all of you because I I feel like all the words that I that I could want to say have been said and there's so much um mutual appreciation and so much mutual respect like where we are [ __ ] putting in the Reps and talking about it and being honest about the feeling our needs Buckle feeling good about certain reps feeling like you can't do another the rep feeling like you judged yourself feeling like you

were so obsessed with how much weight you had on the rep like there it's just it's really beautiful to be able to to look at the experience from so many different perspectives without putting one perspective above another and I'm so glad that we all co-create that so [ __ ] thank you thank you so much everyone for helping to make these calls these roundtables these experiences feel like once in a lifetime and I I wanted to mention because I find this really interesting because again

like jazz you went through your own process of just dealing with things and processing things and all that and most of that was when you got out of the way and stopped trying to fix anything right in the same way the conversation you were just there for and it's almost like it it's like uh putting attention into uh like a ball of Christmas lights but they're all tangled and [ __ ] and you just put your attention into it and you kind of loosen it up just by virtue of

being there and and playing with it so you start to to to change how it how it's working and it's just a process and I think that's it you're there with somebody and you just lend your intelligence to it you know and and things can work out so long as there's nobody who's trying to like derail it for their own purpose I mean that's when it doesn't work is when both people are trying to get something for themselves rather than to just be there with each other and so I I think it's incredible

because there is an intelligence behind all of it and and it's really just a matter of accepting that you're already it and allowing it to do whatever it's doing whether you think it it makes sense or not like half the time with people I I'm not doing anything and they're like oh God Ray thank you so much and I'm just like you know cheers off you go like that that whole thing and one more thing I'll add to this is that you were expressing that you know I'm glad that I I came

around to seeing some of this before I went further down a path where I was just trying to find myself rather than just being myself right there are people who still going through that you know people who have gone farther down that path in a lot of ways I I I ran into one last night right um trans male and um for all the world just tense as tense could be you know regardless of of being you know on the surface everything they're trying to be still not solving

the problem right which is the tension and the inability to be yourself than than not feeling like you're accepted or you fit in or or not feeling you're just enough like you're enough and so yeah I I'm grateful you know I'm grateful that this is something that we're all getting because man I was going down that path too it was different for me we all have our different expressions of [ __ ] trying to find ourselves and the [ __ ] that twists us up right but that's why

we come back with that we come back and went check that path out but don't go too far you know like there's some [ __ ] [ __ ] down there but there's [ __ ] down there that's pretty much it but that's that's how we inform each other that's how we all grow it's exciting Levi hey everyone yeah like bu good to see you all uh yeah no I resonate a lot with uh oh with I thought about earlier today like kind of what what du kind of means to me or or like it's it's a bit

difficult to answer that question but I came up towards kind of the same realizations that you were talking about Jaz like how I feel like it's been an acceleration of whatever this is you know I but but then again it's just it's a part of what's Happening you know that's what led to this moment so yeah but it's like I feel if if I'm going to say something it's like I just feel like it's a space to you know go out of your comfort zone I feel that's kind of and and like

try to be yourself I I I feel maybe that's like the biggest thing it's done it's like it's just allowing me to kind of be like experi erience what it means to just be and be myself whatever that means in that moment right um so I think that's and and from there it's like anything you can do anything like it's I mean yeah it's it's been a a hell of a journey for sure even though we don't like that word so much uh it is um it's just [ __ ] hell and uh yeah yeah and I just lately I've been like

past couple of months maybe it's just everything has been like so effortless and easy like I don't want to like sit and brag or anything but that's just how it feels and everything is just kind of it's just flowing you know and but I'm I'm just kind of let go a little bit of the controls it's like there are still kind of choices out there that I can just feel and whenever I am like worrying about these choices in my head I'm just you know do I need to make the

decision now and then most often the answer is no and then I just keep going and then I get more information down the line and more information and then it's no longer a choice it's like I know what I will do of course because it it just dissipates the choice because you just come to a point where of course that's not what you're going to do or that's what you're going to do or whatever you know uh so it's just it's pretty incredible so but it's been like I've kind of been like a little bit

afraid as well like okay I'm just getting a little taste of this and then it's going to be taken away and you know all this all these idiotic thoughts that are going on up in the head but then again that's also just thoughts it's just it's nothing it's it's just just keep going you know and now for the past couple of days it's been extremely turbulent like and it it's just I mean I I I usually sleep very sound but I'm struggling to fall as sleep at night and

I'm just feeling some old patterns are kind of coming back in and kind of trying to grab me and I'm falling for some of them and then the next day I'm back on track but you know it's just I'm still fine you know it's completely fine and it's just but I'm it's not I'm feeling a lot let's just say but it's just ah I just keep going you know and just before this call or before starting to talk now like it's like feeling nervous and all that stuff but it's like all these

things as long as it's not important you know it's like it I'm like it it doesn't matter if I'm like shaking a little bit or whatever because it's just it's not it's like ah it it just doesn't matter you know it's just you can just feel it and then see what happens and yeah I don't know it's just uh incredible uh to be a part of of whatever this journey is so yeah [ __ ] awesome man I just wanted to weigh in quickly and just say like I find it funny because we've been

talking about this a lot lately about how you go through old feelings old responses to life and you're like why do I feel afraid oh right because I've been afraid every other time but I know there's nothing to fear here and so it's almost like your body is trying to catch up it's like what do you mean there's nothing to fear I'm still afraid though right give a time you know we'll cycle through this again next time you pick it up a bit more you know it's like you're

just giving yourself a chance to kind of acclimate to your new perception yeah it's like a uh it's like a holographic monster almost like every time that fear pops up it looks scary as [ __ ] and then you realize oh I can I can walk through that it's not it's not there is another side to that that doesn't mean that like the feelings and stuff go away right there as you're in it they bigger at least you're there too they get bigger because you're not running from right like if you're like

oh I don't need to run from this all of a sudden you actually feel it out the whole way through yeah right the other night I was having a conversation with uh with my ex-wife and we were talking about you know the feeling of of loss that goes with the end of a relationship and I was trying to explain that I feel that loss all the time like I feel that but I am I also feel the beauty that led to the feeling of loss like I have the same equal perception and awareness of

the beautiful Journey that made that feeling of loss come to be right and so it's both gain and loss to me I feel the full [ __ ] Spectrum about it and I'm not running from that feeling I'm not trying to choose one or the other I'm aware that they're both there whereas some people will try to go back to all the pleasant memories to avoid the sad ones but the sad ones make the pleasant ones more beautiful right like they inform each other and so it's almost like you find

yourself with a full spectrum of feeling whereas before you always trying to narrow it down to what was comfortable yeah it's like everything if everything's on the table then there isn't so much to be concerned about about happening like I was even thinking about that going into this call like I get nerves before a lot of calls and like all right well I've been on calls where I've just like felt like I'm in a pit and afterwards like you know go about my day and I'm okay so

I'm like so like if that's already happened I'm still still here then maybe I don't have to try and hold on to every sentence think I have to say something in response maybe I can just be here and hear what's going on and there's like faith in that but it comes from going through enough consequence where it's like I've already done all that and I've survived I'm still like heart's still beating I didn't you know didn't get wasn't actually in danger ever and so if

that's the case and you can still be alive through that and experience all that stuff then why not it's like all the Judgment that you fear like what if they did what if it did happen it's like could you still just still live could you still be you could you go still go through your life could you still show up to something not to overcome anything or prove anything but just to experience what that experience is what this experience is right now like can you

just show up without a need to to prove yourself or you know do it for to overcome a fear or trying and get something across because then you're then you're really there right but if doesn't mean anything about you then you're just able to maybe change your perspective from I didn't survive those things I learned from those things you know those things shaped a lot of my my experiences they added so much depth to my future experiences they added so much depth to the experience that I'm in once I

realized that I was scared and I I didn't need to be because it wasn't it wasn't that I was truly scared of of other things it was that I was scared that I wouldn't be able to handle it you know I I was scared that I wasn't enough that something would overwhelm me and not that I or not that I could just you know take things in and and maybe I I would stumble but stumbling is judging the step as not being smooth enough and again that just brings in an opinion and that doesn't actually take

in take in the experience that you're that you're in the middle of but it's just you know I was thinking when you were saying about like you know letting your body catch up it's like no absolutely you feel that like I feel the nerves bubbling now and I and it's so easy because the minute that I think you know am I nervous I feel nervous and it's just in like asking the question that I've made this this possibility more real because I'm like am I nervous oh my God I'm feeling nervous [ __ ] we

were nervous how long has this been the case how does a nervous person act all right I just out my phone [ __ ] is that what nervous people do the evidence is there oh my goodness and it's just this [ __ ] it's it's just it's just a possibility right it is it is a direction it is it is a way that the experience could be felt but it's not the only one and it's just as easy to transition from one feeling to another because they're all they're all accessible the minute that you reach for

it and you reach for it when you think of it yeah and before I pass it over I just wanted to say Levi it's uh it's it's fun man it's it's really interesting because I we've talked I've talked to you now for almost two years I think and uh just the progression in in the conversation has been inspiring because every step of the way you've been like I'm just here to feel this out like I'm just I've got questions I'm going back and forth with this there was never any sense of you

know we're leading you anywhere or there's anything to follow you're just like this all sounds kind of interesting and then over and over again you're just like so I decided to give less of a [ __ ] today you know and I felt remarkably good you know and it was just that and it was because you gave less of a [ __ ] about something that you're not but had thought you were and so for me it's exciting because I experienced this in my own life I I've described it to everyone as

the the day I realized I had never lived for me and everything in my life changed and that's it that to me that's it if I can just you know communicate that that your life is yours [ __ ] like that's amazing and and I have for 20 some odd years you know not many people like to hear that so when when I'm talking to all of you here for example and and you're talking about your Journeys I resonate man I [ __ ] love it like when it hit me because it's not about memorizing

anything or hearing the words or doing any of that it's just those moments of recognition you know those moments where you're just like right I don't need to rise to that I just don't you know and you make it your own choice love that [ __ ] inspires the [ __ ] out me so cheers to the journey and I have no problem calling it a journey because it certainly [ __ ] appears to be one you are all included in this fist Pub [ __ ] yes that's right you like to follow up

with anything or should we pass it to Marie oh sorry I was supposed to just quickly say pass it on and then I clicked the wrong button and something came all over here yeah anyway it's uh I appreciate uh hearing it so it's all good likewise likewise great how's it going oh man it is going and uh it is I'm so happy to be um here right now and with all of you my goodness uh Levi when you were talking it felt like you're talking like right to my soul like holy [ __ ] I resonate so hard

with everything that was said and maybe it's to say of my I'm in I'm like what did he say I don't know but I remember resonating so hard no I know a lot that stuck out was like what we've been talking about too of that feeling of like Cycles coming up or things situations that are happening and um maybe the fear is coming up but it's not allowing it to like take over the choices or take over the perspective it's just uh yeah it's no longer like driving the situation I don't know I just um I'm

having one of those moments now as I'm speaking that I'm like oh goodness I've said this so many times I know that I've like said these words um but it is it's been feeling more and more it's been feeling uh and it's like it really is Indescribable it's such a like interesting experience to be like like lately I feel like I've just been even weird to speak from my perspective because it's like it's not really I just saw your yeah exactly I just saw your Andrew today of like

you're not special you're not unique and I think that all the time just like it's all there um with that recognition though through this experience it feels interesting to just be aware of all of that and just show up and like watch as all the things pop up and watch as I not necessarily allow to influence or maybe I do and I don't judge that and it's like all good regardless cuz it's funny like even things that maybe I would have seen as a mistake or something I could have like

um really harped on in the past of things that I did even if it was just like something silly and like oh gosh that was weird why did I do that um less of that even matters more and more just like a lot of it just like you were saying of like the I'm G to give less of a [ __ ] today and more and more it's like less and less and that light like lightning feeling that comes with that is just you can't describe it and I know that like I'm gonna continue on this journey um no

um and I don't know I don't know what's going to happen but that's what's fun I don't know I love it I I also like remember in that you know it's funny it's kind of like um the the difference between you know life is changing versus life is change um it's not that we're on a journey we are the journey we are the journey the experience of being us is the journey that's reality it couldn't happen without that subjective experience you know so the specific path

of you regardless of what it is you know that's your journey and no one can walk it with you even been walking right beside you you really can't nope we really can't can't help anyone and how much that like takes some of the weight off too that like you can't help any like anything you say in response like they're going to take it as they will like it can't be it it it it can't be it's not that it can't be attempted to be for someone or to help someone but can't be actually done like there's no

actual way to do it and sometimes yeah I mean what what sort of reality do you want to you want to be really like being yourself showing up giving a little bit less of a [ __ ] or uh or being overly concerned with just prioritizing yourself and like that sense like you're talking about with fear like that always being a a driver like that being something that dictated oh I don't do this because I'm afraid versus oh that's that's there of course and like just looking that in the face

like what's right on the other side of that I'm just showing them like not doing it well or doing it correctly but just showing up and seeing what you learn because everyone's everyone's kind of doing that one way or another right and I I like how you said that you know it doesn't matter what you tell someone because whatever you say is going to go through the filter of them because that's their life is all of their considerations and so imagine if you were actually if we could if we

could describe it in a new way instead of like you can't help someone right and of course you can't because you'd be offering them a solution that only worked for you in your circumstances with your specific conditions and can never work again with those same conditions because those only those conditions are only available to you and if you were to offer that to somebody you'd be like yeah well of course a specific solution for you that's customized for you couldn't work for

me of course you couldn't help me your conditions are specific to you but it's like if you were to lay that out people wouldn't be looking for or hoping for your help because they would know that the only help you could give is really to yourself right but we don't we don't even view it that way we view it as like it could be copy and paste someone else's attempt and their spefic specific conditions could be replicated because we think that we could replicate the

conditions forgetting that you can't and you wouldn't need them to if you just pay attention to how your life feels to you how it's how it's unfolding and then you just make your pivots you make your adjustments with your considerations that's why whenever I talk with somebody I was like when you go to an expert right because sometimes you do want to pick someone else's brain who has has a lot of exposure to a specific topic that's relevant to you that's great

people are a great resource when you go to that resource you take what they say with a grain of salt and you know that they're like an assistant to you they're not an expert that that's giving you a solution they're giving you considerations for a brain a great brainstorming session and then you are the one that's going to be able to come up with the best option the best solution the best perspective and in terms of application in your life so that's always like when

you go to that doctor you go to that consultant it's not disregard everyone else who's not living with your specific conditions just treat them more like an assistant than a guide that's going to give you a specific solution that'll work for you because only you can figure that out and it changes oh man that was dope um it was it's funny because I was thinking as you all were talking about like the fact that our experience is like unique at the same time to put so much import and wait on

the experience and say like that's who I am and that's and that's it and that's everything is like where that like you're not unique in the S like you know like it's like um kind of feel like I lost my train of thought there but you know oh I like where you're going there we all exist like there is commonality we are all dealing with the subjective experience of existing right that's our commonality and because of that we all have the same temptation to identify and all of the

[ __ ] that goes with that you know frustration disappointment greed suffering want desire all of it all of that goes within so we're all doing that together we just all do that in our own specific way we all have our own flare for our own circle of hell our own pan you know got our secret sauce that's and the sauces make a return no kid most is just assuming that my St special my my sauce is more special than any other sauce nope same sauce that's right like existence is universal but the

experience of existence is very specific exist like like we're yeah because we are all we are all here but it here feels differently to all of us yeah it does feel different based on and what you're identifying with where your habits have been growing up especially I feel like I've had a very hardcore tendency towards fear and lately it's been feeling like a lot lighter and part of me is like should it be feeling this light like maybe I got to worry about something you

know I'm floating off the Earth Someone grab me feeling too good [ __ ] I actually was feeling like I was lifting off of my bed today I was like what the hell is this this is e we've unlocked a superpower and I love it levitation activate yeah who knows um but yeah I feel like I feel like while we are going through our separate experiences it seems to me that there like maray and Ray were talking about that there are like commonalities in terms of like fear

for example and desire and attachment to your identity and I mean I didn't even know that you could live without identifying so much so I don't know it's just interesting an interesting perspective that one can have and it leads to an interesting kind of experience as well so I guess I've just appreciated whenever I've seen that in my life and I have also appreciated when I have not seen that I have appreciated every single thing that I have seen in my life

because all of it has informed my unique Journey on this path now I'm just messing around I love looking at it like um your life experiences are are the colors on your palet you know and throughout your life you'll learn to use those colors in different ways to make a different picture right but it's really learning to use the colors it's not bitching about what's on your palette it's learning how to mix it with all the other colors it's learning how to let

the colors inform one another to make a different [ __ ] painting right but so many of us are like I don't have the right colors if I had better colors I would have a better I would have a better picture it's like they mix you know like it really comes down to you using that Ingenuity of paying attention having the the patience to to just make some ugly paintings from time to time you know and then wipe it clean and start again because you got Limitless colors right and that's why I like going

into new experiences you get new colors you learn all kinds of new ways to paint every time you paint a new one I'm enjoying this imager I was uh I was watching inside out too yesterday highly highly recommend what a beautiful movie I love uh the direction they took with it as well I don't know if you guys have seen inside out to one which I also would recommend dad that's a great dad movie yeah great family movie I watched it with my family as well both movies and yeah it it was

resonating so hard because a lot of us have in in our family have somewhat similar Tendencies towards certain colors and so um the second movie was awesome because it was like going deeper into the sense of self and building that sense of self and where it comes from and the memories and good memories and bad memories and picking between picking just the good memories and putting away the bad memories But ultimately it's a team the the all the colors are playing

a role the anxiety is playing a role the fear is playing a role and all of these different colors are all playing a role it's like it's not like you you're not supposed to think about tomorrow like yeah there might be a tomorrow so better Buckle in for a potential for tomorrow you might want some money for tomorrow if you want to pay rent you know that kind of thing but yeah it's I don't know it's uh I guess it's just interesting to see how much pressure I put on myself all the time and

how I can under keep undergoing new experiences over and over again despite not having certainty of where it's going or what it means about me or I don't know like where it's going to lead cuz the moment is happening right now it's not about being excited about what's going to happen or about hoping for some lesson in the future or anything like that or I don't know even hoping for some great food for an amazing delicious sweet crepe because when the crepe is here am

I actually eating or am I thinking about the next big thing you know and um yeah I guess it's just um a lot of uncertainty has been coming up for me the past week especially just in regards to I don't know I feel like a lot of potential has been unfolding in the mind in terms of what's going to happen and I've kind of been going with it well I have been going with it you know it's just like I'm going with it and this is this is this is this is me going through it oh yeah glad I could make it

yeah yeah yeah yeah going through yeah going through all those considerations and concerns and ups and down I I'm just GNA be H I totally lost my train of thought and I'm like I feel like I want to say something there was something stop we have a hand up we do yeah we do um and and she remembers why she put her hand up and um I love it no I think what's funny is that nobody knows what's happening and we're all just I'm kidding it's just fun to put things out there and see where it goes

I've been playing a lot with like those type of circumstances like what happens if I do this right and it feels like that's what kids do a lot like they're just playing with reality what happens when I do this thing you know when I interact with this person and I do this stuff and and then it's like people then get to this place and I actually had a conversation with the student today who feels the need to know everything like oh I know this yeah I know that I know that I said feel a need

to know all like everything he said yeah well this is a 5-year-old kid I'm like [Laughter] why and he was just like because I want to know or I don't even know if he had a real response to it it was just like because that's what you do you know you know things and when you know things then you're good and when you don't you're bad you know I mean it's kind of like and it it's just funny to like come from a place where I don't know but I'm going to show up I'm going

to not take it seriously all the things we say but it's just like so funny when you ride it out and it's going to be like uncomfortable at points but it's like watch it all the way through because it's like it's a really fun ride and you learn a lot and there's this natural flow like Levi I was speaking on it just feels like here it is let me just write it out it's like we're in a a river you know whatever my God like that that was said too and it always will be right like

that's the thing like we're gonna say a lot of these same things over and over again in a lot of the same ways but we're going to mean it differently each and every time and we all mean it differently from every point of view that we're we're coming from like I mean it differently than you do because we're we're basing it on different lessons we're basing them on different experiences different paths that got us here and I think this is one of the things I find fascinating about this is

because what we're really talking about is that what Humanity tends to consider intelligence which is the memorization and use of Concepts is really just a superficial covering on what intelligence is actually expressing and being Underneath It All Because while we'll tell ourselves that there's a story that we're going along to we have moments of Clarity were like oh wait no I was learning way more than that right it's all of a sudden the story is just not

obviously not the truth so there's been something happening the whole time and this is why we talk about jumping in having faith in yourself because that's not you going into a situation with an idea of you that's in control has certainty will guaranteed to be looked at in a certain way none of that it's really just you operating on the fly in the same way you would if you were driving down the highway at 160 miles an hour you know you'd be paying real close

attention oh yeah right and that's what we're talking about is the fact that we've gotten so comfortable with the rate of change that goes with thinking in Concepts that we learned in school that we've actually slowed our potential as a species to be intelligent because we keep getting in the way of it right the the intelligence itself is has nothing to do with the ideas that we memorize it has nothing to do with the concepts that we communicate everything to do with the embodiment of

what we are of allowing ourselves to just change continuously as opposed to going no it's got to be this kind of change because that is not intelligence that's fear you know intelligence is allowing it to process through and then going oh wait as Levi said he's like ah can I do anything about that no I'm just gonna let it sit oh [ __ ] there's more information oh look at that more information well that's obvious now the choice choice has made itself how much

of that is just the natural oper ation of our intelligence of our collective intelligence there is no individual intelligence we're all expressions of it and we're just learning I think to recognize that and it's always been distorted Again by Concepts because you you can't you can't name what I'm talking about because as soon as I even said collective intelligence some [ __ ] is listening to this going oh and it loves us meanwhile it is quite literally the embodiment of what we all do

individually right it's like if you want quote unquote God or the collective intelligence to love you love yourself right and then that expresses to everybody else and that's how the Ripple changes but it's so very interesting because we're just talking about being a part of the same awareness and just getting out of its way I I love the fact that it's a conversation of sell within a body it's like wow I seem to be suffering a lot you know I don't like what's happening

around me it's like you ever thought you're fighting yourself ah [ __ ] you know and then things just start to work out it seems effortless you know and we see it all the time conversations Sports [ __ ] business decisions art all of that [ __ ] you get out of the way just flows and yet we seem to think if we're not in total control our brain's just going to shut down and we're going to become stupid that's just a concept and Concepts feel more like dead information

versus like living intelligence which which kind of feels like it has that flow because it is alive but our concepts are stagnant and it feels like it is just dead information that's just there to be used as a distraction or maybe more of a hindrance but we call it a tool and a resource I just remembered you know how we were chatting about dead information and Central hubs of this dead information called libraries which I used to love and treasure and hold and

put on a pedestal and now I'm like oh my God it's just volumes and volumes of dead information that I used to [ __ ] worship oh my God I'm great oh my God that's beautiful oh my God that matches with despair I'm feeling a graveyard of dead information makes the silence bit more ear you'll disturb the dead and might wake up oh my God you don't want to wake up the ancestors though oh my God man it's just it's but that's but that's what it is it's just death information that gets put on a pedestal

like it is like attentive to the moment when it's not it's not living intelligence that's sensitive and adapting and pivoting it's just a concept that's being shoved a a round hole into a [ __ ] square uh Peg you know it's just it's just not fitting and yet here we are trying to use this dead information and saying that it's this great resource it's the it's the it's the Silver Bullet you just need the right concept that's what it is get certif by how many Concepts yeah exactly

are you a certified conceptor know a lot of Concepts Jey makes money you the Sultan of Concepts oh no you know Concepts oh my God but it's not intelligent and yet it's treated like it's like it is because it feels safer because it's familiar because it's got that that Collective seal of approval everyone else is doing it yeah must there must some truth in there somewhere I just got to keep searching for it like a needle in a hay stack just yeah the seeking searching looking for

something outside of yourself you know some answer some thing some way to even express it once you feel like you you know it's not about Concepts and it's like how do I best say that so that someone else gets it and I can feel good about myself for feeling like I helped them get it it's like gez Jesus Christ you read this book it most likely won't help it's got to be a concept I can use to describe no concepts of the truth like go for [ __ ] sake help someone

understand that best so it sticks with them forever and they they are now feeling more free and feel better about myself F you know what happened you don't I was just gonna say that I was just listening to George Carlin's like self-help um that he does yeah and like the fact that it's like like self-help really isn't self-help like it's it's just help that you're getting from a book like self- is you would be doing yourself then um but anyway I remembered what I was going to say before which was

funny because I just got out of the way and that was what it was about is get out of the way like just the that's all it feels like this process has been about and it's been funny to like watch even when I do get in the way but it not allow myself to to trip me up I guess in the same way and not take it so seriously so it's just been this fun navigation of not just hold tight and like that understanding that you can just tap into that natural intelligence and like

everything else does when it doesn't think about itself it's like it's happening everywhere when you just step back and look and you just observe without you know needing to do something or be somewhere and it mean something about you you could just tune in and see what happens when you tune in and show up um and so yeah just been riding that W see where that goes and it's uncertain and it's weird and it's uncomfortable and it's fun and it's freeing and it's joyful it's all the things

a lot being learned as you go through it like so much more than going in with a plan and some degree of knowing even like knowing what the best best way for something to go too because like just that bar right there it's like I I really hope this goes really really well thank you got the uh the puzzle piece on Tik Tok live the uh they need a puzzle piece to make sure you're still there if you're not clicking on anything after an hour so now that that's done

human verification complete what's funny is that I was doing that oh so quietly so nobody would know what like thank you for doing that I'm like damn it I I was I was enjoying no I appreciate iess I know keep your thank you to yourself was stey as it blew my cover trying to do something nice working on it now what I like about this is the fact that that's exactly the point that in itself like yeah everybody's just like laughing about all of it there's not a single

thing that's taken personally there's not a single point where we're just like damn it I really did [ __ ] up like n none of that right and and it's because we never have to do that we never actually have to feel that way about our lives or what we're doing you know it's something that you said earlier and I I don't remember how you worded it but it was something along the lines of you know mistakes are just growth that we judge and we're like you know I didn't

like that therefore it was a mistake it's like right but you grew from it well I didn't like it though it's like that's not the point you grew from it you know well it didn't happen the way I wanted it to also not the point you know maybe you have unreasonable expectations maybe that's something you needed to learn in addition to doing the thing you know like there's more to it than just that but we go but that's not part of my plan and therefore it's a mistake and that just goes right back to

that illusion of control you know the idea that we even know what's best for us because even that idea we know what's best for us really does come down to us like looking at ourselves separate from everyone else you know as far as I know what's best for me is me getting everything I want give me yours if you have it I can have it that's what's best for me too too and some of the things you want I want I see obviously we have a problem and it's you think we have to Duke this out what

kind of army you got give me time give me time I'll find people who are willing to share what I want see here you go yeah build it what she that build it and hoard it least they can't kill us anymore for talking it's not that they can't yeah they just it's enough in the way there's more complication more cameras you know very true and not as many people like cheering them on right that helps that helps for sure if nobody's lighting the Torches you know it's right you're missing the Coliseum

man Jazz where would you like to go with thankfully I had skip missed like a small portion of that so I don't really understand how we ended up at the Coliseum so me neither i' come to gladi release the Lions EXT pretty sure it started with human verification and now we're right like you know human Bloodshed our favorite hobby absolutely humans you know the greatest sport I mean they can be though right like I feel like humans and people I feel like are kind of used as chest

pieces like I've definitely felt that way in my life where people or pieces or pawns or I don't know like it's part it's a game and people are providing me something and um or I'm giving them something and it's it's it's a transaction and so I feel like just recognizing just how much how alone I am in this experience and how much pressure I put on myself in every moment and how I don't need to have a plan necessarily to show up and be myself like I can I can have a plan to

do something but not to be myself because then I'm not being myself and I feel like uh often I've had plans about what I'm going to talk about about what I'm going to say about what I even know and often I have prepared honestly like I feel like the preparation has been happening like pretty much every moment of every day which is just taking in information regardless of whether it's from the you or from it other people or whatever it's just like it's it's school and honestly

I I want to bring this up because I found it really funny how I found it really funny how like the atmology of school is schoola or school which is basically Leisure like it's supposed to be a break from work and like I'm I'm just constantly in school like holy [ __ ] that's a lot of work that's not break right learning what sounds like it was fun at one point more Rel and you did it in your leisurely time to learn about cool things to explore your Curiosities and then it turned into a

way to prove yourself to find Value to increase it and to just have more control and we didn't need that control because it was always happening perfectly we always we just wanted some way to get somewhere but we never never needed to get somewhere because wherever we were was fine but there is potential there are options to explore but I think the more that I think about myself the more that I think that I am something that can be thought about even the more

potential for judgment there is but I think it's just about going through those experiences where I am just putting myself out there being myself exploring the options that I want to explore not knowing how that's going to unfold have that mind go absolutely bad [ __ ] and go do it anyways because I don't need to be afraid of my fear it is informing me but it doesn't need to control me yeah doesn't have to be that wall yeah I feel that a lot now I've been I've been having some kind of um

just job conversations like because I kind of am in between jobs as you say say and just having like conversations with different companies who kind of uh may or may not be interested in in kind of um yeah having me on board and I'm I'm just going there a lot of them are like people I know from before I've worked with before and just kind of and and just I have to say going into those conversations with zero expectations and like no I don't even know if I want it

you know it's such a mindset than I had before it was like you know I need this you know this is the perfect one you know and you're just sitting there talking with them from that mindset is so stressful and then you start to build upon your identity right I need to be this way and I have to say I've had so many like interesting conversations with these people that has no nothing to do even with the job just about kind of the journey I've been on since we last saw

each other and they gone through similar [ __ ] and we just suddenly two hours have gone by and we barely talked about the job or anything and it's like you know and and it's just it's so it it's so wonderful cuz that conversation had nothing to do with the job you know and it did like I don't know if that conversation like kind of was supposed to happen or whatever but it didn't feel like it had anything to do with the job it was just a really cool interesting

experience and and then yeah I don't know there's something about just going in without expectation because you don't know you don't know what it is you don't know what's going to happen you don't know what's best you know what don't know what's going to happen in two months it's just why not just be there and see what happens you know and and it's like if if I was in any way afraid of kind of losing that connection or losing that job that conversation would never ever

have happened because as soon as I have something to lose I'm not myself because how how can I be I'm trying to be something so yeah it's uh yeah it's pretty uh it's pretty cool it's uh it's just making every conversation so much lighter more interesting I'm learning a lot from it because I'm not so concerned about me basically uh so it's just I don't know there's something um something cool going on there doors it really is like you're just going into situations you're just like I wonder

what doors will pop up here because you're not looking for one door in particular you can see the other doors and I I think that in itself has its own kind of magic I think that that's what we're witnessing in in doing that I know we've been doing that here locally like we'll just go we do karaoke four nights a week and and people are like that's your job and it's like that's part of it you know and when you see us go out and about man it is it's remarkable how

people just light the [ __ ] up like we we'll walk in and and we'll cheer people on we'll talk to people every single person that comes within like a voice range of us we like how's it going man like and everybody just reacts to it they react to it in a way where they it just feels different to them the environment has changed right and then they'll come over and they'll mentioned some random [ __ ] like uh weeks ago we heard about this new place that was going to be opening but we didn't know

what it would be and then a couple weeks later somebody else mentioned and this time we got the name of the place and then week later than that somebody's like oh yeah well it's the same otor of this place and was like oh [ __ ] and then we ended up reaching out to that place now we're going to be doing an event with them and helping collaborate with their like and all that just happened in itself and then that led to another thing today where we're going to be

doing something else with another local business based on the project that we had planned on so all of these things just they were the result of us just showing up at places and talking to random people until all of a sudden a bunch of [ __ ] dots connected and there was a picture it's been really cool to see that play out because Levi resonate a lot with that sense of like directionless conversation or like doing things without having a set meaning especially like work type stuff like

that structure the rigidity like no we're doing this for this reason and it's going to likely have this outcome and like not doing that as much it's been honest and today is one of those days where it hit me even more like after a meeting we had earlier today just like all the things that we've done so far that I saw as like just doing stuff are like starting to come together a little bit they kind of have a way of making sense but there's times sometimes where it's like everything seems all

over the place and it's like how is this and like I need to figure out how This and like piece these things together and like this fits best with and it's like no there is a natural way of things playing out and like ways that conversations can go like majority of the time I've ever had conversations who was like interview is not actually but just like you know question and answer curious about something or had a reason for it like I have an end goal to this

want to you know get to know this person better for this reason or how this you know night's going to play out anything like there there was almost always a reason and like not having that outside of just making the most and like being super [ __ ] curious about where the conversation's going to go like where is this interaction going to end up like what could be like what's behind that curtain of like being willing to just step into a conversation without a plan

a structure a direction or a situation or just your life because that's where it's like there's stuff behind that curtain that you can't see if you're trying to plan and and schedule everything and know how things are going to play out before they happen you just can't it's like you just can't experience those same things or it's like once in a blue moon when you happen to stumble across like oh I wasn't as prepared or ready and I just kind of like had faith in myself for a bit but

yeah being willing to just let things play out and like have faith like that's what faith is that's faith is not having so much of a plan or direction or reason for doing something outside of just like your involvement in it yeah I I wanted to mention very quickly because we had this conversation the other day Andrew has a lot of alarms that are set on his phone and it's because we have a lot of things going on with dualistic Unity as a whole I don't have those alarms I don't have those

alarms and Andrew the other day figured out that often I I just barely remember right before something's going to happen that we were supposed to do that thing and a perfect example would be Monday's episode where like I I went for a walk I I was out I went to get like a coffee and a bagel and all of a sudden I went what what is that feeling something oh [ __ ] I got to go and record in a half hour that's nuts that's oh my gosh the amount of like like going to bed without

an alarm in the morning at some point even like that's there's something still very much I try to set the morning alarm but what's funny is I always I wake up right before but that's it for meetings too like for a meeting not what's the worst that can happen you don't make it everybody has to adjust yeah that's the worst thing happen all of a sudden it's I didn't make this meeting I never want to talk to you again damn you and all your children like it's not likely

to go that way you know it's really not so it's more or less like hey man I flaked you want to do this another day and then if it happens again and the person's just like I just can't take your [ __ ] well then you saved yourself a headache later because you're not always going to be on the ball I mean one day it may not be that you you flak just because you were flaky but you flaked because you had a lot of [ __ ] on your plate is that person going to be just as

unst understanding Miss understanding are they not going to understand then exactly you get what I'm saying that's it I'm going to stop talking on the lack of understanding I love it I I um I liked what you were saying Levi about you know just going into the conversations without expectation which reminded me of what Marie was saying about the kids and how they play with reality and they're pretty much doing exactly that they're going into different experiences not

sure what'll happen but just making a choice knowing having no idea where that choice is going to go and so they're playing with reality in the same way that you're may be playing with conversations you know that you're just going into them knowing that it could go in any way having no idea and just going into it anyways with that same curiosity and that same kind of like childlike wonder and so it feels so much lighter and it and it it it's it's so different

and yet so familiar because this is what we used to do all the time is just play with reality but if we think about using the analogy the painting analogy it's like the kids are playing with colors and they're like I'm thinking I'm going to mix this yellow with a little tiny bit of the blue and they have no idea that it's going to make it a slightly greenish they're just mixing it because they just feel like I'm just gonna mix this with this and I'm gonna [ __ ]

paint one stroke we're going to see what happens but after a certain number responses to those choices they start to cater to a certain template a certain pallet a certain structure and they stop playing with the colors because of the responses that they remember getting either responses that they are so scared to get again or or responses that they think that they should get again because it means something about them as the painter and the most unexpected paintings come from that place of just

not needing the template not needing the response and not knowing what the what the image is going to look like and just enjoying every choice with not with like no with no plan for it and so I appreciate those paintings and I appreciate being in that in that lightness and that freedom to just mix a color with no idea how it'll look and no no um expectation of what I want it to look like or what it means about me so I love that that kids are playing with reality but that never became an

option that we couldn't do it's always available to us so we can play with reality in that same way where you're just making a choice knowing you could go in any direction and just doing it anyways because you can handle whatever happens because you're just going to be enjoying the process of painting and not looking for a certain painting to come about or a certain image yeah making our own colors like oh your color looks different than anyone else's like yeah CU I tried something

new together like obviously that's B but all ours are the same and we're all using this one those are not approved colors not approved colors that is outside the realm of what is okay or 10 approved yeah certified color judge unknown colors right what are the judges supposed to do right we need to create now ways to judge this and how this fits in oh great now you added to the budget for the bureaucracy right it said [ __ ] man that's an amazing color that's inred

incredible I didn't even know you could mix that with that I wonder if you could do this and you and you would expect it to inspire someone versus scare though mi in a couple little bit of water whole new all a sudden you got watercolors and a whole new situation going on something you didn't even consider just doing pain it's funny um I so often well I guess oh God words are fun um with working with kids there's like so many opportunities for these things

to come up and it's fun to like navigate life alongside of these kids and people instead of like I'm you know I know all the things and I'm passing my learning onto it's like let's learn together let's cultivate a space to learn and also respect each other and um you know empathize and recognize uh how we could really flow together if we're just like working together that that's really nice um but it's funny like too that um I don't know it's just it it's really cool that like life really could

be or like school you know that mentality of learning uh that leisurely learning or learning just um because we're curious and we want to do things because we can it's so crazy [Music] how much that isn't what uh is wanted most of the time for people to explore and be curious and to question and to because it it wouldn't perpetuate a lot of what needs to be what what wants to be perpetuated to keep a lot of systems in place and like like we don't want too many people to question which is why

like we were saying before people would get kills were saying some of the things that is said here um because it wouldn't it wouldn't be allowed to talk about this but it's been interesting to see I guess too like um how to navigate with all these different oh gosh why why why is words why are words being difficult to I don't know but it's um h as I'm trying to find the words what the words are is like not judging the process so here I am judging my process of getting the words out about not

judging the process so that's what's fun about that um and I think sometimes maybe that just happened to make me laugh about it because it's all silliness um specifically your process right there's so many things that I also Jazz I resonated with like that I want want to say when I raise my hand or I have these expectations of what's going to come out and then none of those it's like yeah it seems like all these words this is like how I am picturing it like being funneled into

like all these words want to like fit into this funnel and come out and like all these different ideas and thoughts that come to mind but I'm like trying to force it through and it's like let it just process out first of all not all of it needs to go through we can filter the [ __ ] out um but but like flow with the process I'm trying to like jam it all through um I don't know really getting out of the way is it's just a it's a really fun [ __ ] thing to do I go through it all the time

like there's so many things that go through my head that later on I don't end up expressing it's because there's only so much time you know I can't Jam every thought out of my mouth hoold at once [Laughter] oh but trying to hold it like oh man the amount of times that especially on you know calls where it's like responding or I can imagine having your hand up you know like we don't have that situation but it is kind of like filling space when if there is space and bringing

something up and that sense of like following along for a reason like I'll go back and forth all the time between like oh that was that was something cool there or that thought and trying to hold on and then being like two steps behind and it's like come on it's like like go [ __ ] let go it was it's like for what like was someone's life is my life's goingon to improve if that's what's expressed as opposed to whatever is there when the time is appropriate and the time is

right and sometimes when that time is appropriate and right there's nothing to say and that's on the table too and that's fully on the table as much as everything else else and like there's nothing that that you have to expect from yourself at any point like on a call like this on a way you live your life spend your day way you wake up in the morning first thing you do in the morning like do some crazy [ __ ] and then not judge yourself for it and then move

on do that practice or you have a tough time sleeping in sleep in like not judge yourself for it there's something right there more so than trying to stick to this rigidity all the time like being perfect keeping yourself in check in line it's like losen that slack a bit right um when I mentioned like libraries being like dead information it's like schedules are are also dead right the schedule is this rigid structure that's like you're supposed to wake up and then

do these things in this sequential order and take these regulated breaks and it's like that doesn't sound a alive that doesn't sound like a life that sounds like very much a dead thing like a dead carcass that I'm just carrying through every moment and I'm just and I'm just like all right carcus says it's time for lunch it's time to eat it's this [ __ ] dead body I'm just carrying with me I'm like damn you know these grocery runs are really tough man you know every every Monday at 10:00

a.m. I've got to go to the grocery store just carry that dead body with me and it's not it and it just seems so cumbersome and it seems so absurd when I put it in that way like you're like a schedule is just a dead body you're carrying around with you you're like that's crazy oh and I and I put and I think of that is like that's my my measure is I'm checking in with this dead thing what how I should live my life and then I wonder why I don't feel alive yeah your insanity sayi glad I got you

laughing yeah for sure though I uh yeah it's been nice letting go of the structure more it's just uh it just opens up a lot uh but then again it's the whole pendulum thing right if you have absolutely no structure I I contend to uh I don't know it's like Society is sort of uh I feel it require some some structure uh Maybe not maybe not but uh yeah um yeah I'm not sure exactly why I put up my hand um yeah there was something it was something about school and yeah and we

moved on from that I'd like to touch on the society thing and the structure because that's a great direction to go in because I I can understand why that pressure is there because you know it's like what time are you going to be there you know because I don't have much time so you got to be there for 15 minutes right like time is money all that [ __ ] like our whole world's [ __ ] structure because it's all just based on this you know need to resolve this sense of lack

this need for control everything else but I live on an island I live on an island in a small City I work for myself in a remote job like there are things that over the last 25 years of my life have slowly changed to reflect my my la of need for that structure you know I've made different choices in terms of jobs or locations or or or you know I guess people I would work for or with over time just based on how my own priorities have changed and then all of a sudden 20 years later I

find myself in a place that reflects how little structure I really want to rely on and so for me I think the same is true for society I think that as we change that structure will change you know I think that's why a lot of people started working when once covid passed people are like I don't want to let go to my remote job the [ __ ] are you talking about like I'm just starting to feel what my life is like you know people are actually going like oh [ __ ] like taking care of my kids at lunch is

an important thing like all of a sudden everything just changed and and so society's got to change with that you know I think that's it is that we wanted that structure for so very long that it was easy for the system to build up around us based on it you know and then now it just reinforces that and we feel the Pressed by our own need for structure I think it's funny going full circle the pendulum when I think about structure I just think it's just rules like it's

just a rule that I give myself for how I spend my day it's a rule for how I interact with others it's a rule for how I spend my time alone it's a rule for how I work live play like all these structures just sound like templates of rules you know your school structure the corporate structure our societal the way that we approach education these are all just rules for how we're supposed to do something when we're supposed to do something and who we can do those things

with and it's just all these rules that we came up with so it's so funny that we will be like well you know that's just the way it is it's like [ __ ] we made up these rules which means we could change those rules wild whoa could that would take so much work there it is just changing our own that's the thing changing our own rules changing our own rules it's not it's like a culmination of all our all our [ __ ] rules but yeah the structure the rigidity that comes with that the desire

to [ __ ] look to to something to something else instead of because the balance and the the gray area with it like it's it's something that absolutely can be used like there is a convenience but it's like doesn't have to be that guide I guess and I have always wanted it to be a guide I've always wanted to tell me what to do and give me that sense like I mentioned it with uh with nutrition and stuff with calorie counting like I spent a few months calorie counting and was like had a set

number I wanted to hit for the day and it was kind of irrelevant at the end of the day whether I was hungry or full I was hitting that number so if I was a little more hungry it's like doesn't matter go to bed hungry if I'm super full still get to that point where it's like add a bit more and when I stopped doing that I was like oh [ __ ] there's like a natural FL this like on know what days I'm more hungry eat a little more not as hungry the next day and I don't

have this like grinding like s peg into a round hole type situation and that's what structures are because so many of them come from someone else too like you can create structure isn't like a demon or a devil but often times 99.9% of the time it's coming from someone else or something else or something to follow but like you can make structure within your own Day based on yourself instead of based on everyone else and I think that's possibly more of a healthy relationship and a way to

utilize it instead of utilizing you that whole thing I love it I'd love to jump in just to be like maybe it's not that we build a structure but it's like structure versus sensitivity right you're sensitive to the considerations you're sensitive of the moment you're sensitive of yourself and you don't need the structure because you are sensitive but when you don't want to be responsibly sensitive you want the structure to take away the work that you think that you could get rid

of well that's the thing like the structure that we have especially here in North America right is an old structure and so it was designed with the the most sensitivity that they could at the time which is why like there's foure periods between voting for somebody once upon a time it took that long for somebody to send mail by horseback right like there was there was a process it was n just tallying in the votes or getting people like it was a totally different thing and so that was

as sensitive as they could be to to the public because of the technology of their fingertips now we have the technology to be sensitive all the time but we don't adapt the system accordingly right at all sensitivity to the new circumstances to the new circumstances we just hold on to that same old structure because it's Trot and true we know it it's like when was the last time you delivered mail by horseback you know one if my land two if my seed hold on let me Google that you know and and

that's it and so we have the ability to be more sensitive to the changes that are happening in our society in our world by giving people the ability to communicate at faster intervals doesn't take us weeks to communicate we can communicate in real time what is that give us the ability to do communicate all of our different priorities and to actually have a system or have a a a world with various different systems that reflect those different various priorities and the

groups that embody them different sensitivity absolutely but you could do that with sensitivity to actually have a moving mass of like micro governments be this living organism oh that'd be so cool absolutely drop one in in certain areas and then it would be base so much more on geographical stuff too there is an ability to utilize and like more common mentalities or focuses can have a smaller set of right you know that would be the geography all the mentalities but

I think about it like if they were to change that right now and to actually give let's just say every citizen every voter in in the United States to say on how the military budgets allocated you know all those [ __ ] all that [ __ ] that they passed through Congress that no one looks at because it's [ __ ] massive and they're just trusting the the representative that they can vote into a bill that's straight up you know like the whole Tik Tok thing they slip that in with [ __ ]

support for Ukraine oh [ __ ] right so like that [ __ ] imagine not having Representatives that could do that but everybody actually having a Real Time vote it's like well we're gonna allocate money from welfare to the Pentagon B [ __ ] bu down and that's why they don't do it yeah straight up that's why they don't do it respond yeah yeah but we can and so it's again it's that balance between structure and sensitivity right the structure should adapt as we do instead

we rely on the structure because we're afraid of letting go of what we know Levi I'm sure you had your hand up yeah yeah you did see it was just like there from before uh I guess but uh yeah it's it's very interesting interesting to hear you guys talk about it for sure it's like something that hit me like I know like we've talked about this a bit before but like the the whole responsibility thing on on a structure on a habit on and I was even like it hit me with these

choices like the reason you want to make that choice is because you don't want to have the responsibility or the uncertainty in the moment right you just want to you just want to make the choice and then you're done with it and you don't need to like relate to it anymore so it's like it's kind of like cuz it feels really uncertain to go into like meeting after meeting for example with like but you haven't made a decision yet but you you keep like you're still there

you're still in the moment like kind of getting information and and kind of yeah so I I really feel like it's a lot of this with structure is just just reducing the responsibility kind of and and the need for sensitivity right because it's like oh no but we just always do it like this etc etc so yeah we mentioned that before one of the first things early on in the podcast just talking about like traffic lights and just how much you know things have gotten more convenient so much more

convenient to the point that like you don't have to look to cross the street you just wait for the little light a lot of times people just don't even bother looking and like just relying on oh this is is going to tell me what to do and there's so many things like that out there but yeah it always cuts away at sensitivity or the feeling of like a need to but also like how much of life is missed in that because there's a lot there's a lot of you know a big Spectrum right there a more full spectrum

and yeah trying to mitigate one side of the spectrum not going to get any of the other either going and hand it's just nuts because we just do that without even realizing it and it's like of course because I'm not sensitive to the I'm not sensitive to the fact that I'm relying on the structure so I don't have to be sensitive I don't have to pay attention to that and it's um and it feels like it's more convenient but it has its own Ripple and so when there are moments where I'm not being

sensitive and I'm feeling like oh why should I be sensitive to other people they're not being sensitive to me and it's like yeah but that is just shucking the buck or passing the buck right because I'm like why should someone else be responsible for the way that I feel about things right shouldn't being sensitive to the way that I feel the way that I live the way that my life is unfolding how how would I want to give that to someone else you know that sensitivity feels like it's it's a great

gift it's a great opportunity to be able to feel things more deeply or to realize that I was afraid to feel things more deeply that I was that I wanted to trust myself that I felt those into Securities like all that sensitivity is an opportunity and instead it's looked up looked up looked at as a burden you know we see that sensitivity as a burden and so we think that the the structure will alleviate the burden yeah and because of that we've lost sensitivity that's the funniest part why

can't I feel anything right and that's that's exactly the point and so the system I always find it funny how the system has over time increasingly taken responsibility away from the citizens grade but then bitched about having irresponsible citizen grade oh Jaz I am really enjoying the conversation and where it's where it is right now it's interesting because like I we were having a conversation about structure at the previous retreat in the Denver Retreat um and whether or not you

need structure whether or not you need some kind of law um telling you what's right and what's wrong and yeah it's interesting CU I feel like I feel like I agree with most of what's been said here it's like it's interesting CU for example like knowing that the call is going to happen at 300 p.m.

Pacific Standard time for the round table is is like good you know like if it's like oh I don't know what time the round table is going to happen although you know what like if you did that then people would just show up like whoever showed up showed up that that would that would be fine too like who you don't need particular people to be showing up at the particular time you can have around table at like midnight your time random round tables off the cup and a new segment is

four that's not a bad idea we we could do actually like do like an extended live stream from time to time where we do like 3 hours and then we just throw the join link onto patreon right for tier one or up anybody want jumps in over that stream whenever they can they can just pop in I like that make it the random ones available to everyone all te because our current round tables are available to our tier two and tier three patreon members but the random ones being available to

everyone that sounds pretty cool that sounds fun yeah and like spontaneous and like also like who knows what would happen right it's like anytime any place any people it's like there's so much potential for that when you're not necessarily relying on the structure but it's just an option so yeah it's interesting because like options are cool it's it's it's nice to have options when you're not necessarily relying on it to escape responsibility because when you are being responsible

when you are allowing sensitivity to arise when you are feeling the full spectrum then it's like oh yeah like let's let's set these times so that people can consistently show up and then also like let's [ __ ] it [ __ ] it Blow the schedule up like the straight up actually you know before we wrap up this afternoon I I just wanted to mention actually that we're going to be playing games again in the very near future buckle up everybody because we're all getting strapped in get back to to

gaming online uh we're gonna be doing some dope [ __ ] and if you haven't already do check out social media at dualistic Unity uh on Instagram or Tik Tok because we do try to share what we do from Monday to Thursday on karaoke and what not and whatnot and uh of course one more announcement the port alberia tickets are available now for November 2nd to November 10th uh this is our full Retreat we are returning to the first Retreat location uh this is going to be just an incredible experience

whale watching hot tub live music uh yoga walks through the forest and you know cannabis Chef the whole bit massage therapist or raiki if you prefer raiki uh this is the full [ __ ] package it's an amazing experience the tickets are available currently to tier two two and three supporters on patreon until Sunday tier one will get access as of this Sunday and then a week after that they will be publicly available but if you are interested if this is one of those

events you absolutely want to go to pick up your ticket now that is my recommendation because we released this a little over a week ago and we are now down to less than half of the available tickets being there I think we have what two four four doubles and a king we have four double beds and a king available the double beds are in shared rooms each room has two beds so you will be sharing the room with somebody else but each room also has its own private [ __ ]

bathroom which is amazing I love that about this location the KingSize room does not have a second bed has its own private bathroom and has the option if you would like to bring a guest you can bring a guest to share in your king bed so that is an option that wasn't there previously um this is going to be an incredible event the sooner that you buy your ticket the sooner we will be able to message you and go ah [ __ ] this is what's happening um so definitely if

you're interested jump on that right now tier 2's got access patreon.com dualistic unity and do remember all the patreon members tier one tier two or tier three save money on these Retreat tickets tier three saves $350 which is a sizable discount and less than you could even get three months on tier three and it would still make sense net with a discount but you get on there for one you know yeah and if you stay on there for three you get a sick T like a sick

swe right there is that right there too but yeah Port Al Bernie making our way back there there is not a more magical location I don't think in terms of the environment the the way the lodge is created too it's like couldn't be better couldn't be better for a treat the big long dining table where everyone gets to eat together the hallway up top second floor with all the bedrooms like a like a bunk dorm type room but like a really really nice one back in college with

your own bathroom like not having to wait for a bathroom the huge fire pit like the fact that not only do we have a fireplace in the house and in the Gazebo there's a wood stove in the Gazebo as well there's a massive fire pit out on the massive estate grounds that this Lodge is on so we all get to sing sit around this fire ring and just have this massive massive bonfire we did this at the last two Port Al Bernie Retreats it was a huge success it went really well

actually it was kind of funny because I remember the first Retreat we had a bunch of City people there and um we were all in the darkness or rather they were in the darkness and somebody thought they heard a grunt and so all of a sudden I'm coming out of the lodge to the herd of people running at me from the darkness towards and I'm like what the [ __ ] is happening it was my first Retreat I was panicked I'm like oh my God you know what is happening here are

they turning on me is this a mutiny like it was uh it was quite the experience but it so much fun and don't worry we've never seen a bear there it's not that there aren't Bears around but they tend to stick to themselves or they hang out by the river that's one thing it's a beautiful place is what we're saying but Eagles deer bunnies it's a [ __ ] magical forest playground oh no it is absolutely epic and and it does have access to the river so you go down this beautiful wooden uh

staircase to go right to the River's Edge which is fantastic and then there's jacuzzi there's the sauna so you're passing that on the way to the river a beautiful huge deck that you can just bask in the view at any time and uh certainly felt like a dream to be there and I look forward to going back and excited to hang out with whoever gets to join but highly recommend Port Al Bernie um it does not disappoint um but if you come with less expectations you'll make

it easier for not to be disappointed so you know yeah that's a good point oh and just to note if there are no other events happening this this year so outside of Port alburnie the only other thing that's happening is that we are going camping into feno on V couver Island from August 19th to 23rd we have our ticket or we have our campsite booked if you would like to join us book your campsite you know the information is currently on patreon where the campsite is right all you need

to do is book site for those dates let us know when that site is booked and we will let you know where we are I don't know if we actually know the site until we get there but the point is is that book your site if you can book it in the the wooded the forest Site Area because that's where we'll be and we would love to see you there so the name of the campsite is on patreon we did the announcement I think last week something like that jazz knows where it's at um so and if you don't

know any of these things you can join us on Discord where you can connect with the community and they can tell you all the cool [ __ ] that's happening absolutely the Discord is in a great place right now and there if you are looking for the schedule there's a schedule on there and we're also going to be adding some uh month monthly game night and movie nights like that's something that's that's something that's been on my mind and I'm going to be putting up polls after this later today

to put a little bit of structure in there you know get some time slots that work for people sprinkle of it considerations absolutely just work times that also work for me and might work for people as well and so we will have that as well and so I'm very much looking forward to that and also the retreat cuz I'm very funed for for alurn like the portal Bernie space is is pretty magical like the hikes the hikes are awesome like I live in BC and so I I see this on a routinely basis and I

still have my mind blown I still had my mind blown at P Al Bernie because of how dense and how luscious the forests were and how deep you can go in them and I mean honestly it was like a never-ending walk never ending walks that we had and we could have kept going further if sunlight or our legs allowed for it you turned back for food consider but yeah and do remember everybody that uh this is a full event like this is a full Retreat which means that we pick you up at the Nimo airport

where we all get into a a bus that will drive us through the Cathedral Grove old growth forest and anybody who's a Star Trek fan or sorry Star Wars oh I offended some nerds there anyway and I feel that anyway the point is is that if you're a Star Wars fan and you enjoyed the scene where they were zipping through the forest on the moon of Endor with the Ewoks that is this Forest so we're actually going to be going through that Forest on a bus stopping for a

brief walk through it and then moving on to the retreat location in Port Alber it's a gorgeous Forest you're going to just love this so find the details go through patreon we're going to wrap up for today thank you Marie Levi Jazz we really appreciate you being here as always and thank you listener for participating in it and we look forward to you joining the next round table or one in the near future by everyone love you guys