hello and um welcome to the sixth episode of Leave i with Levi uh yeah so I'm not sure as usual exactly what I'm going to be talking about but I'm going to be talking and uh see what comes out of me so there's something I've been thinking a little bit about which is this idea of uh authenticity and and what it really means to kind of be yourself right uh because being yourself uh can very quickly become like a uh an idea right so you have an idea of yourself how you should or shouldn't
be behaving and uh we kind of have a tendency to kind of try to replicate this idea of us in different situation so if we are considering ourselves to be an extrovert we will you know be going out of our way to kind of reinforce this idea of ourselves to be talking a lot being very outgoing and the same with introverts it's like I remember back in the days I I considered myself an introvert but I also saw that in some situations I wasn't that at all so it's
like yeah what what I'm trying to say is that we have this idea of being an introvert and then I've been feeling um or at least I used to feel like whenever I kind of went out of that role and became something more it was very easy to judge myself for that and and kind of think what will people think of this uh maybe this version of me that is a bit more uh and I was very easily thinking oh my god there they're thinking I'm too much or uh what's what's up with with Levi you know because
he's um he's acting differently and we we we have all these ideas and there there are very they're they're like maybe you have a tendency to be in one end or the other but I've been noticing in like social situations that I'm I'm sitting there and sometimes I'm talking a lot and uh sometimes I'm just just listening and observing and I feel like different moments are pulling out different versions of me if I allow it so I think it's I think none of us are one of these
things I think when we're sticking to one of them that's when we start to feel um we start to feel kind of it it's hard to stick to something that isn't coming naturally is what I'm trying to say so yeah just feeling the moment it's it's not even [Music] any we don't have to be like conscious about like now I have to be more or less introverted uh I think it's more about when you're in a situation and maybe you're feeling very comfortable just listening and you're feeling like the
flow of the conversation is going well it's been like a pattern of mine to kind of feel like I need to contribute I need to kind of say something uh and I don't think that's always necessary and whenever I'm kind of hearing myself starting some something like that in my head like I'm sitting there it's it's an amazing conversation I'm enjoying it I'm I'm just kind of taking in what's what's happening right and then and then the mind starts to uh discuss this in the in
the head and like oh my God should we be talking more uh what are they thinking and and then it's just like I don't need to do anything about it I don't need to be silent or talk I just need to go back to the moment what's happening like for example these two two people are are talking and it's super interesting and then it's very typical to hear maybe the people talking or noticing that some people aren't talking and becoming self-conscious about that like oh my God
am I am I talking too much uh and then I'm like as long as I'm not in my my kind of um IDE of the situation instead of just being there I'm like I mean this is super interesting just keep going you know uh but but everyone is sitting around a table kind of evaluating their own contribution whether it's too much too little instead of just like kind of pulling ourselves back to the moment but what's happening what's actually happening right now what's happening is that you're
sharing um and the people around the table are listening and it's it's great you know it's uh so so I feel like instead of thinking about what I should be doing or shouldn't be doing it's it's a better question to us but what's happening you know right now I am silent and I am taking in this moment and I the less I'm in there kind of discussing whether I should be doing this or this or whether the moment is great or not great or whatever the more enjoyable the moment becomes and the
more you can take it in because you're actually there and then suddenly maybe something comes out of you that is not coming from some sort of a plan in your mind to to get into the conversation more that maybe it's not fitting because you you uh came up with this this thing to say like um I don't know maybe two minutes ago and now we're not really exactly on that topic anymore right and just just staying in the moment feeling what you're feeling hearing what you're hearing and
then if it makes sense something will come out of you and suddenly maybe you're more in the conversation for a while and then less and you know it's it is there is uh a natural kind of flow to uh to a conversation and we don't need to question it we don't need to question our own role uh and we don't need to question other the people's role it's just what's happening it's so easy to think about what should be happening but the only real guidance we have that is kind of
based in reality is what is happening and then you know afterwards uh it's easy also to kind of go into this uh evaluation process of kind of a social get together where we are thinking about whether or not we kind of did the right thing or we you know we're too much of this or too little of that or maybe we shouldn't have said that thing because what will they think oh my God it just came out of me you know but what comes out of us is very often like uh something that comes out of
this space where we're not meddling right and then we're saying something that we usually don't say it doesn't fit with our idea of ourselves maybe or the idea we're trying to project upon the world but you never know really what kind of Ripple the thing you say has so even if someone straight up tells you some sort of negative reaction to something you said it doesn't mean that the situation itself was like a bad situation you know a bad thing to say maybe maybe you said something that was
uncomfortable to hear for someone and if if that person is willing to kind of take it in it will it will maybe alter their life in the future we we just don't know these things I'm not saying it will that it will have some great Ripple or impact I'm just saying we don't know so sitting after the fact evaluating a conversation and what we said and did and didn't do it's just it doesn't have any value because we do not know our impact I'm not trying to say here that we should never kind of taking
feedback we hear from other people or even you know evaluate I mean we're automatically evaluating every situation we we're feeling the energy we we're feeling what's happening all the time and I think that is enough for us to change if we are acting kind of out of alignment with the moment we will kind of take it in on a I think a subconscious level and just learn from it so and I think like the more we judge ourselves for something the harder it is to kind of take it in because we're
we're kind of we're feeling kind of attacked by ourselves sort of and it's much much harder to learn when we are kind of under pressure under attack we're feeling something is wrong right and but if we if we're kind of more openly seeing a situation or something we will um I think we will be able to really see kind of the lesson there uh and yeah cuz you you got to have to be like self honest like if you're just throwing some judgment on top of something you're not really
being self honest I mean you can you can judge yourself but but kind of really looking at it without Distortion without all your opinions about it will make you see the situation clearer and thus you will easily or easier it will be easier to learn from it because the there's nothing wrong with it like it happened and let's learn from it and and kind of move on so um yeah I think there's of course a lot to learn from from from all the things we do but I think the Learning
Happens uh kind of by itself if we uh are kind of aware of ourselves and our surroundings but um if we're too caught up in our head like just thinking about ourselves and how we are being kind of perceived in a situation it's very hard to kind of pick up on on what's actually going on in a situation so um yeah and of course like this isn't just this isn't just applicable for conversations I mean um it it's all the things we kind of do I I very often uh catch myself thinking
about what should I be doing you know and and it's the it's like with with like um this business I'm I'm trying to start now it's like what should I be doing like what language should I be kind of communicating in what should be my focus uh and and kind of what offering should be there and and all these things I'm it's kind of like I'm not saying it's it's it has no value to think about it but I think it is a better question to ask but what are you doing what's happening
where are your energy going here because I think that's a much better indicator of kind of the direction you're going in it's more like okay but how are you spending your time like what's what's interesting to you now what are you what are you sitting down doing because um because you feel like it where where is the enthusiasm right so I think very often just looking at what are we doing is um is kind of like a very a very good indicator so many times over the last couple of weeks I've been I've
been like I'm just feeling like my mind is just churning on these um on these uh choices you know but whenever I kind of catch myself getting too caught up in that I'm more like okay but what's what's happening okay I'm I'm kind of um preparing a website and so what's happening there like what am I writing what what is what is kind of flowing out of me what makes sense when I'm um when I'm kind of writing about it and another interesting thing here that I've been noticing is like
like and it I've just been noticing how because these things are going through my head like all the time and I think that's that's just fine and then I find it sometimes a bit hard to be honest with people about what I'm planning to do and um and kind of how I'm planning to do it and what kind of doubts I have about it and I've been noticing also like how how I'm I'm not sure exactly why I'm so hesitant to kind of talk about it it's like I almost like want to just uh you know it's it's happening
like you know but it's like it is a really interesting process also to just be honest with people about what I'm trying to do why I'm trying to do it and also just earing out like my doubts a little bit because I'm I'm noticing because I'm meeting meeting people and they're they're kind of hearing me out right and then they're coming with their input from from different angles and I'm not saying it's it's like we should always kind of just listen to every to to every person who says
something or have an opinion about what you want to do because then honestly we wouldn't do anything because we would just be paralyzed by all the the opinions so so it's important to kind of not kind of attach to the opinions and just do exactly what they're saying because it just ends up doing nothing but it is something about talking through things and and getting perspectives from from other people who's been who's been in a completely different life than you
and just getting their take on it you know maybe they're coming from you know a very different place and have a different job but but like they're their perspectives can be very interesting but I'm just noticing like I'm not getting anything from anyone that is useful unless I'm being honest you know I have to I kind of have to bear I kind of have to open myself up to the potential judgment you know and I think that's maybe why there is some hesitancy of being honest
because we we can be judged you know but I think if we're just willing to be honest we will get some people who just straight up disagree with what we're doing but that's also okay but that's sort of a a judgment we we uh we can observe not necessarily do anything with it and then some people kind of are coming at what you're thinking about from a different angle that you maybe haven't thought about it all and then we can take that into or rather I think this will be
automatically like taken into the consideration I don't think like after a conversation where you get some constructive constructive feedback on something that you have to kind of consciously think about it and kind of you know I don't know just r about it over and over again I think we can just let it be and just kind of it it's already been taken in you know the parts of it that uh were useful the parts of it that were not useful and instead of kind of going down
like all right let's incorporate you know this new feedback into into like the plan it's more like okay what's happening now I I have some new new input I know that but it's like what's what's happening now what am I doing now are things flowing in a different way now yes or no like I I think that's where it's really happening what are you sitting down or like what are you doing I think that's just the best indicator of anything and uh yeah yeah now I really I
really enjoy that aspect because I feel like I'm I'm moving forward in this way I am moving forward I don't need to force myself to move forward I don't need to think about moving forward it's more like oh what's happening so yeah that's uh that's been um an interesting um kind of thing thing to see when I'm kind of trying to do something quite concretely and uh um this process yeah yeah oh it's good really is yeah what else do we got what else do we got maybe I'll drink some water I haven't
really um gotten like um a blank uh a real blank on on making these videos and I think the reason it becomes um like a blank is when where we are kind of set on a thing to say and then it disappears from the mind and that's been happening quite a few times but I think that is the interesting part about kind of uh being honest right because what's going on inside of me is is kind of the whole thing because basically what happened as I was kind of wrapping up the whole
thing about the business is that I I came up with this brilliant new topic in my head and then um and then I as I was finishing up it just completely disappeared and then I had some water and just hoping it would come back and then I figured you know let's just talk let's just keep talking because that is what's actually happening just back to the authenticity from the beginning like in the conversation who you really are and like we we have these ideas of how things should
be right and and what's best and of course my um my mind comes up with what's best all the time and when it kind of doesn't pan out that way it's it's easy to kind of panic a little bit and just oh my God what am I going to do now it's gone so I feel then it's it's just as well to to kind of just uh I guess be open about that process that is going on inside and I feel I feel like we we don't do that a lot in in society I feel we are very much just keeping up this facade this perfect
facade that we think people will appreciate and I'm just noticing listening to to other people uh that are kind of letting go of this perfect version of themselves that they think they should be it's just very interesting and you you kind of start to uh you you very quickly relate to kind of um what what they're saying because it it is coming from it's kind of it's kind of coming from the present moment anyway and we are all kind of in the present moment together and I
think we're going through a lot of the same things in sort of um in in terms of uh yeah all these kind of insecurities all the all the kind of mistakes we do or like wrong things I'm doing quotes here now like all the wrong things we are doing that we're kind of trying to cover up all the time and I don't think that is I don't think it's it's healthy at all to kind of try to keep up with this perfect idea and I think it's a lot harder to um to really relate authentically to people
when when we're keeping up this facade and I think like what's what is you know I'm sure it like of course it it resonates with some people uh this perfectness that's because I think there is this desire to be perfect and I really don't think anyone really is perfect but I do know from trying to be perfect like before uh it's it's a very it's a very heavy heavy process to keep up the appearances to keep up this idea of who we should be it is incredibly heavy and as soon as we kind of let down
the guard and just trust that who we are as we actually are with all our mistakes and insecurities and also a bunch of positive things that we are all um kind of that we all have it's it's just it's just so much lighter because there's no or there's less pretend it's like if you're going to play a role all the time you're going to have to you're going to have to use a lot of energy keeping up that role keeping up the appearances and role is different uh for different people like it's I I know a
lot of people who kind of uh kind of um maybe they're really concerned about like intelligence status money and they've been working really hard to to um to keep kind of this up and it's been absolutely absolutely draining them of energy and I've been there myself uh for sure and then maybe one day we're kind of realizing how much weight that is putting on us and I know that a lot of people including myself at some point kind of embrace everything that is the opposite of kind of um that world as
kind of um an escape from all that stress and tension but then there's other identities you can kind of take on instead and suddenly you're maybe in a spiritual world and certainly there's new appearances to keep up you need to kind of maybe never eat meat you should never drink coffee because they're caffeine maybe you should go to all these meditations and you should kind of be calm all the time forgive everyone never be angry and all these things and it's like it's just a new it can very
easily just become a new uh kind of appearance or a new identity that you need to keep up with and it's it's equally heavy and it's I it's just even more heavier to to think that you have to be calm all the time like it's that even like uh desirable to just be be walking around not kind of feeling or reacting to anything but of course we are feeling and reacting to everything all the time so it's just a a big suppression of of what's happening and and I know myself
it's very easy to to go there and think that this is the right way you know this is this is how everyone should should live their life and uh and that's just an idea like how do you know how do you know how people should live their lives how do you anyone know I I don't think um it's possible of course you can kind of ident Identify some things that have helped you a lot but um that's that has nothing to do with your identity you know and being something and following a set of very strict rules
for something and chasing something that's not where the that's not where the the kind of increased life uh or like sense of freedom and space in your life is coming from I I think is coming from not having so much attachment to Identity and kind of understanding that we are we're we are we have the potential to be many different things like we're changing all the time and that's like you can't pin an identity on like what we what we are because we're we're just we we have the potential to
do anything and the only thing that is keeping us from doing that is all these ideas that we have that are kind of um linked to our identity like we we are we have all these rules for ourselves and many of them are even subconscious like I've been noticing many many things about myself that kind of of I didn't know I didn't know I was doing it you know it's like yeah it's uh yeah but I think the only thing we we can really do is just kind of take ourselves back to what's
happening and how are we reacting and and kind of behaving in in in different settings and I think what we're doing is is what we are we we're not this thing this identity that we love so much and it's so scared of kind of um um changing or or maybe we're also scared of people attacking kind of important parts of the identity yeah so um yeah it always comes back to just kind of paying attention to what's happening in front of you instead of paying attention to all the ideas
that we we have of ourselves and of others I think that's equally important to understand that what you're seeing you're seeing it through your filter of this person and I really think that if people just um kind of paid less attention to the ideas of others we would more easily kind of understand other people and connect with other people because it's like we're just ideas uh talking to ideas so and we're like yeah it's it's this it's these filters we have and it I don't think
like we have to consciously kind of remove the filters I think it's can be a nice reminder that we don't really know uh anything about a person but more than anything is just kind of bringing it back to the moment just paying attention to the person instead of paying attention to the ideas we have of the person so maybe we're initially meeting someone that we we know maybe we think like maybe we've seen them somewhere and we have some ideas and I just know that no matter how that
person is presenting themselves that is not the truth because how they're presenting themselves I have a lot of ideas about I I'm I can very quickly create like an idea of some someone and something and if I'm with a friend meeting this person I know that my friend will have a different View of this person and it's it's just I don't think we need to do much about it it's just knowing that we do this we we create these ideas and they are not correct just having that in the
back of the head and then just paying attention to to what's happening instead of yeah this person uh and I mean this identity that we we think they are so yeah I think that's yeah I feel very much of of What's um kind of coming out of me these days is is this idea of just bringing it back to to now and what's happening because everything else is just an idea and we don't need to pay attention to that because they are literally literally creating like a a foggy screen
of what's actually happening so I think the more we are just here now we will see more clearly we will learn more we will understand all the people better and we'll be able to kind of uh bring our authentic selves into the conversation because we'll just be we'll just be coming out you know we'll just be just jumping into um the conversation at the right time and when people say something we won't assume so much about what they're saying we'll just hear what they're saying and
react to that instead of what we assume they mean because they are like this and this and this so um yeah there's uh yeah it's to think that all of this stuff creating more space creating more freedom is a very like complicated path and I think what's complicated about it it's is what's already there but kind of opening up that complicated mess that we've created a whole life to create is actually very simple it is just staying present staying authentic trusting yourself to
kind of do the right things at the right time and then when we do pay attention we do change things start to unravel things that we haven't seen in ourselves before for example just suddenly reveals itself and once you see it it's possible to see it without judgment and then we can learn from it and I think that is really the beauty uh um of life just experiencing how how we kind of have the potential to become more become anything like and I don't mean more as in there's something
more to be but there's just I think I'm talking about the potential here like the potential we have every one of us to be all the things that we don't think we can be like we can definitely do that it's just just starting to move and uh and starting to do yeah yeah I feel we're uh at the end of end of this episode I'm um yeah I'm I'm curious to to hear this one one back because um I'm uh yeah it's um I think it's interesting how because because I'm kind of feeling
quite when I'm talking to this I'm kind of like I I need to kind of let go a bit and I'm I'm hearing myself often like trying to stop myself from saying something and sometimes I do stop myself but sometimes I'm just letting go anyway and it's like yeah I honestly like I can't really remember what I've said uh so much so it's always fun to kind of hear all right what was what was going on and how did it all fit together because um yeah we'll see we'll see anyway I appreciate uh you listening and
uh I will be back with another episode at some point all right have a good day