hey and welcome to episode five of Leave i with Levi yeah so um yeah this is just an episode of me uh going through whatever I'm going through and uh yeah I don't know what I'm going to share but uh we'll find out it's interesting how we and I'm talking about me um um I'm always there's always a part of me that will never be okay with what's happening or maybe okay with what's happening uh but kind of as soon as that is something is over it's like this immediate hole that kind
of the ego wants to F I guess or uh there's there's a lot of thoughts about it should have been like this or I wish it was like this or this and this and that's like that's like you know after looking back kind of a little bit at my my summer which has been extremely fun and and uh rewarding um and um and then it's just there's just no there's just no I don't think or I'm starting to get the get more and more proof that it will never be enough it will never ever be enough for me as a
person so no matter kind of how fantastic life is as it is even that's kind of not enough for the ego or like my thoughts I guess uh which is just another great reason not to listen to the thoughts because the thoughts they just don't know what they're talking about they really don't the thoughts they just want to talk and uh yeah that's it's just it it's irrelevant what the thoughts are saying and it's it's even irrelevant kind of how I'm doing or whatever you know um uh I'm just
yeah I'm just feeling very peaceful right now so honestly it doesn't feel like the right time to to record it but it's just this you kind of when you got to see these thoughts for for what they are and how ridiculous it is and how it's never going to stop and it's always going to be asking for more it's kind of like it kind of loses its hold even more it's just it's just an absurd concept never being satisfied so the only way to be uh I guess to be not not satisfied is to just live kind of
alongside these thoughts as if it's some sort of a crazy person riding along with you and you just have to accept this crazy person and start to understand where this crazy person is coming from because it's not without reason that all these thoughts are coming but we don't need to let them um run our lives in any way I think that's I think that's just um just wonderful and uh I was talking with someone earlier today about kind of kids and how present they are and you
know maybe they're really upset before they uh go to bed because they don't want to sleep so it's like quite a quite a bit of drama and then the next morning you know they wake up and it's like it never happened it's just like it never happened and that just brings me to this feeling of you know not attaching to kind of the the past and and the future that's really what it's all about like the thoughts are always about the past or the future future so if we're attached
to that we will be way down by the past or the the future and uh I will limit us in our lives yeah so uh just being here chilling being okay with the crazy person in our head uh while at the same time kind of enjoying whatever is happening around us you know and what's happening in front of us and all the things we get to experience in this in this life it is um it is really it is really cool and uh yeah it's it's [Music] uh it's it's kind of um I've been going around a lot lately with
this feeling of kind of awe and wonder you know and you kind of just become more interested in in everything along the way like if you're out on a walk or anywhere I guess but for me it's it kind of very easy to kind of tap into that awe and wonder when I'm out in nature because there's so much interesting and beautiful stuff there but I think we kind of need to just breathe and get in touch with kind of get in touch with this non rushed version of ourselves that is kind of able to to notice how
beautiful it is and all the small things that are happening and you know uh like I wonder what's going to happen if I look down in this River for a while like what's going to happen is it um will it come a fish you know that just certainly feels very excited like what if it com of fish you know In this River uh or uh yeah one day it came a beaver kind of swimming and kind of find like found like a a stick and kind of brought it to his lir and and like stuff like
that is just when you sit down and or even just walk a little bit slower just pay attention to what's happening it is so much interesting stuff happening but it's really it's also easy to get caught up in other stuff you know if you're on your way somewhere you're on your way to maybe you made a plan to go to a bakery and have a coffee and a cake or something thing um and if that becomes too important then you know the journey there is kind of losing some of its magic I guess um and I
think I think that's I think that's very easy to to do and also kind of get caught up in in thoughts as you you walk along the track and maybe suddenly you walked from quite a bit without noticing anything because you've been thinking about something future past but that's that's okay you know it's like it's always possible to kind of connect back in with with this awe and wonder kind of state I guess um when you notice that you're not anymore I usually notice just being a
little bit more tense and I'm noticing my thoughts are kind of typically stressing about something uh that's a really good indicator that I'm kind of not um yeah not that uh connected uh to myself I guess um and then it's just the practice of kind of finding back into into that space and uh keep enjoying whatever is going on in front of me and I've also been kind of noticing lately how when walking around um just looking at you know people and um thinking about myself
maybe there's something I'm a little bit scared of and and all these things like how all these kind of judgments about ourselves about other people about um yeah about anything really or you know fear about something you're stressing about or something you want to do but you're not doing it like all of these things is kind of like I feel like they're yeah they can very easily kind of pull you a little bit out of um space but or or I mean this this kind of space
where um where life feels magical kind of um and and um yeah okay I lost my my train of thought a little bit but uh yeah I just saw a plane uh on the sky over here so that's kind of brought me a little bit off track but I was saying something about thoughts and uh yeah getting a little bit pulled out of this uh a and wonder State and U yeah because of fear and judgment and all this stuff and I've kind of been noticing how like like with everything you observe it doesn't have like the same
uh effect on you kind of uh so I feel like kind of observing myself being afraid uh doesn't I I don't think it it kind of affects you in the same way as just being afraid you know it's like getting kind of sucked into to the fair it's more like oh yeah that that feels like fair you know you know just kind of observing it and kind of staying it in this state of um kind of feeling centered I guess is kind of uh something um yeah and um and um yeah I think I think
that's that's it with with more or less anything we're going through is just observing it is is the best way to it's the best way to untangle it I mean like anything we try to fix you know with like solving the problem is immediately problematic because there there aren't any problems like this moment with all my faults is you know what it's supposed to be there there's not a problem here it is uh things to learn you know it's things to observe it's things to experience for sure but right now
there's not really yeah there's nothing to fix you know I've just had this feeling so many times of just seeing myself trying to fix things and kind of think my way out of things but even that is just it's not possible it's it's kind of like uh what I was talking about earlier and all these all these um things we we can never get enough you know it will never be good enough for for the thoughts in a way um yeah and it's it's the same there um it's the same here I'm just laughing
a bit because I don't remember exactly what I was saying uh but I remember I was going to say that it was the same so I just wet with it yeah yeah so um yeah this feels like a weird episode to me but I also really enoy enjoyed recording it [Music] um yeah I have so yeah I feel I feel really chilled uh I'm not sure if that's like it feels like the wrong energy to bring into an EP podcast episode of anything but uh you know it is it is what I'm kind of expressing in this moment and uh
honestly I wasn't even planning on like recording an episode I I think I was just taking up the camera to kind of uh see how I looked or something like that and then uh I just started recording and suddenly I'm now 17 minutes into this into this episode so uh yeah I find that to be quite fascinating yeah so um I guess if I'm going to kind of U wrap this up somehow um if that's what I'm going to do it's um yeah just um stop trying to to fix anything um like your situation like I
mean it's more like yeah I had this thought earlier of kind of like yeah I don't know that's going to take us on a new new Trail uh yeah or maybe it will not anyway I feel like um I feel like I've said uh what I wanted to say um right now and um yeah it's it's nothing to fix I mean we're we're good you know uh it's just just observing ourselves and the world uh I think will untangle whatever needs to be untangled uh in in the right and appropriate time so yeah there's there's nothing to fix all
right thank you for listening have a good day for