hello and welcome to the second second episode of Leave i with Levi so the reason is this second episode is because the first one I made that was supposed to be episode two had this insane Echo because I was sitting in a like a boat house with like concrete walls and everything so of course as uh someone who hasn't done this a lot I didn't think to check uh if the sound was all right in the spot I was in and it wasn't so so here we go for uh another round and then comes the question you know
should I kind of try to recreate the the the first version of this episode or should I just completely let go of that and I think I've landed on completely letting go of trying to do that at all because yeah I am uh I'm a different person now like like not in like a big way but like the things I was kind of dealing with when I was recording the first episode it's really quite different from what I'm kind of going through internally in my life life now so maybe
I'll touch upon it a little bit uh maybe I'll talk a lot about it I do not know uh but what I did start the other episode with was kind of just why it's called leave I with Levi and for some people I'm sure it's like super obvious but I know at some point it wouldn't have been obvious to me at all so I just wanted to say like a few words about that uh going into this episode and basically uh it's this leave eye thing is basically about you know letting go of all this
narrative that we have in our life we have all these we have all these thoughts about who we are and who we should be and we've kind of been reinforcing that throughout many years and maybe we changed a little bit but for most part we're kind of bringing with us all this um kind of rules sort of of how we should behave and what we should be doing what we're good at what we're not good at and what we like what we dislike and all these things and what I've discovered
over the past couple of years just starting to to challenge these things is that it's all [ __ ] like we we have created this Persona that we're basically acting out we we are we are performing I've been performing Levi you know it's like and I haven't even thought about that I've been doing it but it's been very draining of my energy whenever I've been in Social situations and stuff like that it's very draining to kind of keep up this idea and it doesn't even matter if
the idea I've had of myself has been good or bad it's just very heavy to keep it up no matter what and I've discovered that you don't have to do that there is like it's like okay so let's say what does it mean to be yourself and I think I think that is what you are when you're not trying to be anything right and not trying to be anything is very light because you're not you're just you just are you know you are what you are like how can you how can you even think about who you
are because it's like you are what's coming out of you in every moment so it's like whatever we put on top top of that it's just a layer that will slow us down and it will remove some authenticity I'm not saying that people can't be like authentic like kind of when they're involved in in the personality but I think that I really think that people should uh kind of just challenge some of the Notions and the more important the Notions are in your life life like the
more I would just try to step out of it and and uh I think uh yeah and now now like just do inv want to into my head for a second it's like now I'm like hearing my head like oh you remember that great thing we said in the last run of this episode let's bring that in here you know uh and I'm not sure if I'm going to do that or not I I can't even compute if it's a good idea I just I just really wanted to bring it in uh and it may or may not fit uh but I think it does fit uh now that I'm I'm
talking uh simultaneously thinking about it and and that's I I think it was I don't know maybe Ray who who used it the first time I heard it from from d security and it's like it's this idea that at least for people who have been like playing games uh computer games early on there's like there's usually like like strategy games and stuff like that you usually kind of start with like this open field where you can see everything you can see maybe like a gold mine you
can see your house and your people and and maybe there's a little Forest you know and it's like that is that is you that is that is who I am kind of that is the idea of me and then you have all these gray dark spots kind of around uh around this field which is completely unknown we don't know what's there we don't know how to deal with it we don't know if we're going to be able to deal with it when we get there because we just don't know what's there and so we can choose to just stay in
this little area this little area that is right and we know it all and it's all quite comfortable maybe it gets a little bit boring to chop on that same forest all the time and it will run out will run out at some point as well so then we we start to move uh so then we can start to kind of move into this dark area and whenever you go in there in this kind of dark um area or like this place you haven't been before like whether it's like within you you or if it's like just a
new scene maybe that you're putting yourself in out there in the world or maybe it's maybe you're acting like more naturally in some setting you're being more honest in the setting where you usually just said what you thought they wanted you to say like all these things are kind of stepping outside of uh into that black space and it interesting thing is when you go there I think it just it becomes a new bright space where you can play around it becomes a bigger your
space becomes bigger you can do more things and after a while like you'll just notice how going into those dark spaces is like even that becomes more comfortable or you become more comfortable I guess being uncertain uh and thus walking into this spaces are almost like uh it's almost like U yeah it's a great way to to you know I don't know feel the excitement of life you know cuz that is that is I really feel uncertainty that is kind of the that is fuel that is like that is the fuel
uh to to really feel yourself and to to get to know you know your limits or lack thereof uh and yeah it's been just so much fun going into that that space and just showing yourself that you can like it's it's not even about doing like big things it's just noticing what you find uncomfortable I guess I've just been noticing like like at some point like a couple years ago I found it incredibly uncomfortable to wear like uh actually this specific I remember I was kind of
walking because a couple years ago I did like yoga every morning uh and I I walked from my house uh which was like 5 minutes from the yoga studio and then I walked in this the sweatpants that I'm wearing here it's like it it's dark it's very normal and I was down to the yoga it was fine because it was so early so there was no people but on the way home from the yoga studio there was there was so many people going to work and they were all kind of dressed nicely you know
because they were going to work and I was so self-conscious I about just wearing the sweatpants I had been to to yoga like of course I'm wearing sweatpants but I was I was so kind of caught up in it but of course I just kept wearing it and now I look back at it and think it was ridiculous but it wasn't kind of ridiculous because there was a part of me like Levi the identity that felt it was really important to kind of present myself kind of professionally when I was out and about uh on the
street and obviously letting go of that is just a tremendous weight lifted because now I can wear whatever I want when I'm out and about and the same thing was like I got like a yellow backpack from my my work and I remember when I wore that outside for the first time I was just like this is so it was so uncom comfortable because for me to wear something yellow I usually just wee like dark clothing maybe like a brown leather satchet or something but you know and
it's it's it's just small it's like it doesn't have to be big it's just what makes you uncomfortable uh and then just try to do it anyway and often like things we dislike I think it's things that make us a comfortable somehow um and that's not always true I think like well kind of because I was just thinking like but I don't like olives and I really don't like I every time every time I'm like somewhere with someone who orders olives or have olives at home they tell me you know but this
is a good one this is a good Olive and I'm like every time almost every time I'm like okay I just keep getting lured into this trap and but it's just such an intense uh taste for me uh so I I I haven't been able to enjoy an olive as of yet in my life maybe I will at some point but the point is it is uncomfortable that's why I don't like it it is an uncomfortable feeling in my mouth uh yeah anyway so I think just doing things smaller big it it doesn't like it's just it's
just expanding our life really it's like where you before wouldn't Venture you now can which I think is just fantastic I just feel like like in the last episode I mentioned like I was at a k karaoke place like one day I just went in there all by myself and it was super uncomfortable I was uncomfortable the whole time and then I signed up for a song bought a beer and I was uncomfortable and then I sang the song I was uncomfortable and I went down from stage and people were kind of high-fiving me
not probably not because it was so great but just because you know you see people are getting up on that stage giving giving their all I mean you'll give them a high five so I got a couple of high fives and I was still uncomfortable I sat down alone at the table again still uncomfortable signed up for a new song You Know It's Just just keep going like being uncomfortable isn't really a negative feeling it's just a feeling of something is new like you're not familiar with this
situation and you know doing that once opens up the opportunity to do it again and if I want to like it's like at some point I feel like I was kind of running after uncomfortable situations just because oh I'm going I have to expand I have to expand you know I have to get a bigger world and to some degree I think that's that's kind of helped me but now I'm more like what do I want to do you know I don't necessarily want to do you know all all the things just because
it's so comfortable it's more like okay I want to do this I can feel that's a part of me don't want to be there because it's uncomfortable then it's like there's let's go you know what I mean but sometimes it's like you know I I just don't want to do this and then I don't so I think like finding a balance there is also okay because I really feel like the expansion is happening when you're just following what you want and kind of maybe becoming more sensitive to what you want cuz I feel
like yeah I guess when I started to kind of dabble in leaving the eye uh I was I was kind of I i' I've just followed I've just follow what I found interesting all the time like no matter if it's been uncomfortable but it's changed a lot over like just two three years it's like the things but but I keep kind of I've always just went for things that that felt not always but most of the time just just kind of followed an interest a curiosity about something and I've just
been kind of moving into that space and uh doing things I've liked I guess uh or what I've just this is interesting now and then I've kind of moved on to to new things some things I've just Dro because was it wasn't for me uh some things I've probably uh done maybe too long or whatever because I'm just kind of kind of clutched onto an identity there again like you know and I think it's all about kind of just moving forward along with your passion and kind of being true to
who you are sort of because and you don't necessarily know that but it's like I think there's a feeling inside of us that kind of tells us that this is something I want to do this is something I'm doing for reasons that are more superficial I guess like maybe related to to safety or money or status or just uh yeah just maybe being admired and stuff like that and I feel like those [Music] are uh more I guess more uh Hollow when it comes to it like those things uh so I've really been
finding lately that what I it it may sound a bit silly but what I really like to do is kind of somehow I guess just somehow kind of well I've been doing a lot more like let's say work-wise a lot more physical labor you know in my life well before I've always been like had computer jobs doing stuff on the computer like I guess my first job was kind of something in the Middle where I was kind of out in the warehouse a lot and stuff like that I kind of like that
but I've just been noticing lately I've been doing a lot of kind of you know picking garbage uh at beaches like painting um more like you know because I'm kind of in between jobs so but I've just been noticing how kind of being out being in nature uh kind of doing things with my body that just feels a lot more aligned at the moment than kind of see sitting down and sitting in front of a computer all day basically that's just you know it's just not I'm I guess I guess what it comes
out I'm just not doing it anymore it doesn't mean that I will never work on a computer again it just means that there's so much out there that I can do that I haven't tried you know I I've tried the [Music] computer kind of work uh and and now it's just like oh wow I can I can do other things you know I can be out there maybe I can be fishing maybe I can be you know I don't know with be awesome to be a fisherman for a while you know go out there with like a full rain rain CL
cloth on and just you know go out there and and uh and get some fish in maybe have a little stand in the city here selling fresh fish I think that that sounds incredible but this is of course just an idea that I have in my mind it's of course hard work yeah but but the point is there there's so much I haven't done and there's so much I can do uh and and I just want to explore that [ __ ] you know what I don't know what I like but I know what I kind of what I'm kind of facing towards I
suppose and I think it's long as I it's it's this idea that all right now let's say the fisherman thing you know and then it's like okay then I'm going to be a fisherman for the rest of my life until I retire you know I feel that's a very narrow way to look at our opportunity space because maybe I'll be a fisherman for a year or a couple of months I don't know maybe I get like an apprenticeship on a on a boat and I do it for a couple of months and then I do something else
afterwards and then maybe four years later I buy a boat and start to take apprentices out on the ship and I do that for two years and then I sell the boat to someone else you know it's like no one knows like but we are so certain it's like now I'm a fisherman now I'm a computer dude you know it's like I feel like we need to we need to just try things without putting our whole life in that basket because that feels so heavy it's like oh now this is the choice of a lifetime
you know what I mean but it's not it's a choice for this moment and it doesn't even have to be a choice just keep moving towards opportunities uh or just keep showing up you know so somewhere just be present and just say or just be open to whatever can happen there maybe I meet a fisherman tomorrow and he's telling me how he has trouble finding good apprentices and then there I am and I'm like you know I don't have a lot of my plate what about I join you anyway I'm getting into the the fancy
realm but who's to say that's not where we are anyways uh okay so yeah I guess just uh Venture into the oh no I will keep doing that at least maybe I will be a fisherman maybe I will be something else I don't know we'll see what pops up in my life and uh I hope uh everyone on who listened and those who also didn't listen have a great day and I'll be back with a new episode at some point I'm sure all right byebye