hello and welcome to Leave i with Levi so yeah this is just a little segment where I talk a little bit uh about something maybe about nothing and basically just see what comes out uh of myself when I just sit down and talk uh so I guess I'll just get started uh from here yeah there's a couple of things on my mind for sure one thing I am uh thinking quite a bit about is the food and eating and kind of this desire I guess for for for food uh or maybe unhealthy food
particularly um and I'm I'm just really watching kind of my thoughts kind of starting starting on on a certain trail that will lead to just an increasing amount of desire for a food so it usually starts with just a little Pang maybe it's coming from some boredom or something and then the mind kind of takes me into this Loop that kind of builds and just just start to think about the different foods and kind of build them up as something very pleasurable in my mind and then I sit there and kind of
feel this desire uh to go get that food somehow even though I maybe have some some healthy food uh at home which I could eat and it really is as simple as just choosing to look at or choosing to kind of attach to those thoughts or not you know it's like it's either you you can just let it go like that's what I mean but it's like I'm choosing to buy into it because I see kind of a perceived benefit of of uh eating this food because I guess I have a lot of associations from the past
where I I kind of you kind of temporarily stop I guess your yeah the suffering or the boredom or the loneliness or whatever it is is coming from so yeah I guess um it's just letting go and I and I walked through through the the store today and I just went in there and I was going to get some dinner because I had no food at home and I just walked through there and I kind of got sort of the stuff for dinner and then you know as I'm walking past like the ice cream the uh the
snacks the chocolate and everything and I just see as I walk through it like the thought there it's coming a thought a thought is being introduced to me and it's just like hey let's get an ice cream you know and then typically I would kind of start a dialogue in my head about this I no I mean shouldn't have an ice cream we going to eat dinner soon and and then it's like all right and then we come to the the snacks and then it's like you you kind of discuss with
yourself and and all this discussion does is just build it up it it gives it energy it becomes more real sort of or it feels more real it feels like something we need to act upon uh but it's like today I just noticed how I kind of walk past the ice cream and then and just not getting into the discussion with myself about it it's like I hear my mind is kind of trying to start a discussion on the ice cream but then it's just you just let it go you know you you don't have to do anything
about these things it's just not engage with it and just see it you know I don't mean to like force it away like oh go away thought you know it's not what I mean at all it's just you just let the thought and the energy and the feelings around that thought just be you know just just feel it and rece it and and just keep focusing on something else on reality instead you know it's just that's always the choice am I going to focus on reality or remember going to focus on the thoughts and then I
came like past the the snacks it was exactly the same I just hear kind of the invitation to start the discussion and I I just let it go and then you come to the chocolate and it's the same gu just just letting it go and I can kind of feel the energy is kind of releasing cuz I think there's there is kind of a lot of energy around some of the thoughts or not energy or maybe this energy or whatever but it's like it's it's a lot of I guess I guess a thought that is used to
being taken very seriously sort of has feels maybe like it has like a stronger hold like it's more it feel you feel more around it so I kind of felt as I walked by and I was like standing in the like to pay I just felt how uh it was so light to just let those things go CU usually I go and discuss it right it's like no it's like I'm trying to logically decide not to uh do the thing or maybe I logically decide to do it you know because it's a discussion sometimes one
side wins and sometimes the other win but it's not necessarily to take that discussion at all you know I can just completely walk around the the discussion just drop Let It Go like it really is that simple it's just just drop it drop it just leave it and it's true for everything not just food I'm just noticing how often I'm thinking or like hearing my mind talk about things that happened yesterday like I met a bunch of new people yesterday at at like a karro bar and like I also
brought like a friend there and it's like and that's a friend who haven't seen me kind of in in a space where I'm kind of expressing myself as freely as I typically do on on um a karoki stage because it's just a place to let go of of who I us usually am you know this this idea of of Levi I did some quotes there uh but but yeah so it's like I feel that okay and then then I've kind of been been singing like with get together with all and new friends like in there and
it's and and talking and everything it's like I just I'm just hearing myself wanting to start the discussion on whether I did uh kind of well or or if I was weird or if what will people think of me and what are people thinking and what should they be thinking all these things and and it's the same area I can like I can get into that discussion you know in my head and kind of P upon yesterday's evening which like if I don't like and and it's just I can just I can just drop it I don't have to go
into the discussion it's not like I will never come to like this fantastic conclusion if I kind of discuss it enough and about like oh right yeah it's it was a I I said really great thing there and yeah I was weird but you know it's it's so nice that I'm I'm able to kind of say these things now and I'm feeling so free and blah blah blah blah that's like it's it's that's just buying into the identity and everything you can just completely go around the whole thing we have no clue
how it went people see us through their own filters we don't know how they perceive us and it's like we just can never know these things so the discussion is actually completely unnecessary and whether you're able to logically come to the point where you say that yeah I did great yesterday even that is just unnecessary you're just buying into a new idea of what you should be or shouldn't be so yeah I'm really just looking at these these thoughts lately and how how it's like it really
like someone I think maybe it Andrew from du Unity it was like explaining it like kind of the thoughts are like a balloon a bunch of balloons that are just that are not inflated you know they're just going around in the head and just as soon as you kind of engage with the thought you kind of start to blow up the the thought or the balloon right and it takes up more space it takes up more energy it feels more important it it's kind of harder to see other things because this thought has become so
big uh so yeah I feel just just don't start blowing them at all just see them appreciate them for what they are like they're not evil at all they're just trying to do its best for you but as you kind of realize what we are we're not those thoughts you know but but yeah so we we don't have to we don't have to to engage with them at all I feel I'm repeating myself a lot now but it's just it's just such a mindblowing discovery and it's like I feel like like it's something that kind
of unraveling it's like I'm seeing it for certain things like some of the earliest things where I started to do this it's like i' I've had this tendency to kind of be very critical of myself like for example when I think back for a conversation that I had where I felt I said something weird it's like I immediately said like oh I hate myself you know that that kind of stuff in my head so it was like one of the earliest things I kind of discovered was that's ridiculous like I don't know I don't
know how people kind of takes like how they perceive what I said and you know if I'm judged for that it's like it doesn't matter and why like I don't know I don't know any of those things and I don't really hate myself you know it's like it's just this Loop that has been probably running since I was a teenager you know since I started to worry about how I'm perceived to a larger degree and yeah it's I feel like I really feel like that was one of the first time I
noticed how I can just drop it I don't need to kind of start to discuss with myself no I I don't hate myself you know and like kind of go into discussion no because you know I've I've you know I've started to love myself you know and it's because of this and you know I'm actually you know this these and these people like me so why wouldn't I like myself and you know yeah some people don't like me but I don't care about that and you know that whole discussion that was the first
time like I don't need to take that discussion I can just hear myself say it and don't pick it up just leave it there just leave it alone just leave it alone that's it and then there are these things that are kind of harder to see and for example the thing with food is quite recently that I've kind of discovered or seen so clearly that it's just a thought as well because I've kind of heard it people say like it's you know but it really just starts with a thought that just blows up
you know you can just drop it and it's fantastic it's really really fantastic I'm not saying I'm never blowing it up anymore because because I really am but yeah it's it is even interesting to just watch myself now blowing up this while I kind of it's kind of but then again it's because I think it's because I haven't clearly like really clearly seen the benefit of or like I don't know I I think I'm still perceiving it as something pleasurable and I kind of want to blow up the Bon so
that I can go do it but it's just if I don't need like I don't need to do it obviously yeah and another thing I wanted to touch upon is this I'm want to change the subject a little bit so it's is this idea that I am uh that I am something you know it is this this idea of of me and who I am I have an idea of it other people have an idea of it and they're of course different but probably some overlap here and there and in this idea of how I should be how I should kind of act it's
like that is slowing us down to an extreme degree and yesterday I really saw this because I was I was at a kroi place and I put on on a song that was kind of a rap you know and it was going really fast and I just noticed that in order to be able to sing that song at the speed it was going I just I absolutely had to let go of who I am you know I I couldn't because there was just no way to process that speed of that song Through the filter of Levi and what I think I should be and how I think I
should act there was just no way I just had to let go and just go with the flow of the moment what kind of naturally came out as like I was I had to be really close to the music like really close to it pay attention to it and the text was coming up and I had to kind of match those things uh it live right with with with like so it it fit and and whenever and it I really felt with that song that I kind of I didn't have a choice and I think it's so transferable to almost every
situation or like every situation we're in like when we're in we can perceive things through us and sometimes that seems easier because maybe things are going a little bit slower than a a rap at a stake but we will always trade sensitivity in a moment a away if we are kind of trying to to stay within some sort of a frame of who we think we should be so like if I'm if I'm trying to be nice always for example it's like then I will have to filter everything through
that niceness because I think I know what best thing is for a moment right and then that's quite the process to to kind of take and I don't think we have like one thing we're filtering it through is like being nice is one but we we have so many you know I am for example I should speak eloquently and I should you know seem calm for example and I should yeah let's say those three things like can you imagine filtering everything you're saying through three like filter
and we have a lot but we we we we're just we're just this box um we're just this this big box of um of filters and it is so all consuming to kind of express ourselves through those filters and that's why we think it's difficult to express ourselves because we're trying to be something we're trying to to adhere to all these filters and it's tremendously energy consuming I I just the difference like doing that and not doing that is just but but then again like just the reason
where it want those filters is because because the the alternative is that we don't know what we're going to say and we don't know how it will be perceived maybe we will offend someone maybe we will you know say something that we wouldn't otherwise have said it just kind of popped out of us and we try to control this we try to hold it back put it through the filters but we lose so much sensitivity to what's actually happening and what we should be expressing in this
moment so is is this idea that we are not is this we we don't think we don't trust ourselves basically that's what it comes down we don't trust ourselves to be what the moment kind of um wants us or not wants us to be but are you know we we don't trust that who we are we'll say the right thing we'll do the right thing because we think we know what the right thing is that's the problem but we don't we have no clue what the best thing is even if I'm at work and I'm saying
something that I absolutely shouldn't be saying at work because of this it it doesn't mean that that's wrong you know I don't know if that's wrong maybe it's maybe it's completely right to say that thing and maybe that blows up my entire career but maybe that's maybe that's exactly exactly what should be happening uh but we don't know maybe that's not what should be happening also but it's like it's just we don't know anything and and that's that's why we we
kind of trust more what we think should be happening than what is actually happening and that's why we're missing what's actually happening right there right now so it really just comes down to ourselves like how much do you trust yourself to just say the like say the thing you're saying you know it's like it's not even saying the right thing is just saying what you're saying expressing what you're expressing doing what you feel is right like without thinking about
whether this person will like you or leave you or you know give you something you need or whatever you know it's like it's like there are all these considerations that are just slowing us down so much and like I I'm not like trying to say that I'm kind of constantly living like this but I'm noticing like the more I'm able to just be myself and let go of these ideas of who I should be everything just becomes so much lighter it's just you notice more every situation is more interesting because it
it's uncertain it's you can just see how everything is unfolding and you're paying attention to what's happening and it's just as interesting to hear what I'm going to say uh as someone else because I don't know what I'm going to say that's the thing I haven't planned it I haven't gone through it in my head before I say it and I think when we do the planning thing in the head of what we're going to say like maybe unconsciously even we we will quite quickly feel like we're
running out of things to say because it's very limited it's like this this little list of appropriate things to say it's very hard to to really keep a conversation if that's what we're doing yeah so it's even with this stuff I'm like sitting here just hearing myself talking about this stuff and I I I just don't know like what's coming out I really don't I'm and it's just coming and I'm saying these things and it is what it is and I'm sure like afterwards I'm not even going to
remember what what I've said um but that's that's just how it is and also I I'm not sure if that's like actually true but my perception now of kind of this recording here is that I am kind of letting go more and more you know of of that I feel like it was more kind of I had more filters on in the beginning of the show versus now and I'm not sure if that's even true but it just feels like I feel like things are flowing more now kind of just naturally coming out and uh not concern
maybe that's because I'm reminding myself here about like the consequences of holding on to these filters and and ideas and then things just start to flow more as I'm uh reminding myself a bit cuz I think that's yeah it's easy to kind of forget a little bit sometimes yeah well this has been fun my first uh solo episode of Leave I with Levi which thank you Amanda for that uh amazing uh version of my name yeah appreciate that so yeah thank you for listening if you have been
listening which you have otherwise you wouldn't hear this so yeah I will post a new episode at some points not sure when but uh it look home all right have a fantastic day wherever you are and see you around for