You're Not Broken, Sex Is!

Many women and their partners think it's her lack of desire. It's not. It's that our bodies take time to get turned on. So once women stop feeling like there's something wrong with them or they're different. or they're guilty there's a few women out there who were horny all the time but they are the aberration they are not the norm and so i think so many women i wish they could just really take that in there's

One thing you take in on this conversation, it is just give yourself time to get turned on. Do what you need to have done to do that. This is Dr. Talks. All right, everybody, you are in for a treat. We have a fun session. We have sexpert Susan Bratton with us today. Just wait. You're not going to want to go anywhere. You're going to want to take notes for this one.

too. So thank you so much, Susan, for taking the time to be with us. Oh, my gosh, Betsy. I said to you before we started that anything you ever want to do, I want to do with you. I love to collaborate with you. I adore you. We've been in a mastermind together for many, many years. I've done your television show. I've done so many things with you. I just really feel like we're such kindred spirits. I think so highly of you.

very happy to do this doctor talk event with you because I like the doctor's talks. They do a good job. And I was glad to see that you were partnering with them. They really put out quality information and they're run by a nice group of people. So I've done a lot of doctor's talks over the years.

And when I saw that you were a headliner on one, I was like, oh, God, yes, of course, I'm a yes to this. And we have a lot to cover. I know I've got a lot of new material that I've been working on. And so I'm going to be sharing that with you today.

You know, I love the name of this one because there's so many times when people people feel broken when things aren't going right, especially in the area of the bedroom. And so. the fact that you're you know we're calling this title this this talk you're not broken sex is i think is just perfect So I got that title from a girlfriend of mine who was a sexual. She's another sexual biohacker. Her name is Anna Linforce. She's.

Finland from Finland and she told me that title one day and I thought oh god that is so good Anna I'm I'm I gotta steal that one once in a while and use that too because I think people can really relate to it so many people not just women, but people, feel like there's something wrong with them. Well, everybody wants sex. Why don't I? Or it's just not as good as I thought.

I had it one time and it was great and I could never get back to it. Or God, it's just not as good as it used to be. Or it's been terrible and I'd like it to be great. What do I do? I mean, there's just so much of a disconnect between where we are often. There's a disconnect between where we are and where we want to go. And there's a combination of three things that I think make a very stable stool of having.

kind of sexuality that you want in your life. One of them is you have to understand techniques. You know, we can make a baby without knowing much. But really being a good lover means learning some skills. We have to have communication. We have to be able to listen to our body, understand what she wants, and then be willing and confident enough to talk to our partner and ask for that. And that takes a lot when our culture is so steeped in shame and that we don't get a lot of education.

And then the third leg of the stool is this sexual biohacking piece, this regenerative therapies and treatments, which you and I dig so much. So we'll get into that, I know, because I'm constantly finessing my stack. My little group of things that I do that are all synergistic to keep. my vulva, my vagina, all of my parts, all of my genital system in really good working order because I turn 62 tomorrow. Oh, happy birthday. Thank you.

And I'm having the best sex of my life. I'm exploring new areas of pleasure. My genitals are in fantastic shape. My orgasms are so strong. I've literally never. had a better sex life than I do right now at 62 and that's come from paying attention to these three pieces the communication the confidence the skills and technologies and techniques and then

keeping my genitals from atrophying as I age, you know, pushing Mr. Time away. Yeah, this is amazing. And I know I can talk to you about this for hours. So let's start off too, because this is something that you...

you brought up and i was like what is this like what is the difference between matriarchal and patriarchal sex and and it's funny like this is being recorded and coming out in december but i just saw the barbie movie this weekend when this is being recorded and it was all like ken was like had just discovered patriarchy and he was all like the ken doll was like yes i haven't seen it yet but i'm looking forward to yeah

Yeah, let's talk about matriarchal versus patriarchal. So patriarchal is the father, matriarchal is the mother. And I like to posit that one of the reasons that women think that they're broken is that a lot of women think, It takes me too long to warm up. I'm never really turned.

on you know I like sex once I have it but I never want to initiate and they think that there's something wrong with that like they're supposed to initiate that they're supposed to always be horny that you know that they're that's how men are And men are that way. Men have some what I would call competitive advantages sexually in the way that we interact in that. Number one, they get a bath of testosterone every morning.

If they're healthy, they have nighttime nocturnal erections. They wake up with morning wood. They are driven to masturbate frequently as often as every day because they're biologically wired to keep their sperm topped up. and fresh in case they can pass on their dna um and so and the other thing is that because they start out hornier than we do on a general level playing field

They also get aroused more quickly. So when they think a sexy thought or they see a boob, as I like to say, you know, one boob and they're ready to go. You know, they get a very quick erection. They have fast acting hemodynamics or blood flow. And they've got these straight chambers in their penis that just fill up and they're erect. And so that's.

It's part of it. But the other part of it is that when I say the word sex, most people think intercourse. They think penetration, a penis in a vagina. And that's because in the past. We were taught through our religious religions that sex was for procreation only. So the only thing that was sex was intercourse because that's the only thing that could make another person. And the problem with that is that for the female body.

We're estrogen dominant. We don't have as much testosterone. And though we have as much erectile tissue as our male body partners, if you think about a penis and you think about it as a banana, 50% approximate. Everybody's different, but about half of what you see is sticking out. And there's 50% more penile tissue buried shaft and erectile tissue.

in the male body that goes down toward his testicles so you double what you see and all pretty much all of that is erectile tissue if i took that same bananas worth of fruit And I wrapped it around your vagina and brought it to a point at the top where the clitoral structure is. Your vagina is completely surrounded by a banana's worth of erectile tissue.

It has all those nooks and crannies. And so it takes much longer to fill with blood. And so what happens is when we have this kind of focus on intercourse and we have. fast-acting hemodynamics of the penis owner and we're with a male partner and he's ready to go, we get rushed to intercourse. I would like to say that the matriarch

view of sex. And honestly, our male partners are served by this too. This is not taking away anything. This is actually improving their sex life and increasing their pleasure too. It's to get out of that old paradigm and to think about sex as... Stroking each other's hair, stroking each other's bodies, telling each other you love each other. What do you adore about each other? What do you find irresistible? Compliments, adoration, being held.

our skin being touched, our feet being rubbed, our back being rubbed, our cheeks being kissed, our foreheads, our eyebrows, our eyelashes, our necks, our chests. our breasts being pleasured, our bellies being touched, our buns being touched, our legs being stroked, our outer vulva being pleasured. Not just...

being penetrated way before we are ready. Our arousal ladder, the steps that it takes for our body to get relaxed and then turned on. Take 20 minutes. at a minimum. And our partners, it takes two minutes at a minimum. And so we've pretty much spent most of our lives having this patriarchal style of quote unquote sex, which is intercourse oriented. You know, we even call it foreplay and intercourse. I'd like to strike.

the word foreplay from our vocabulary and call it something else where we are much more inclusive about what all this pleasure is because we really need it. And when our guys slow down and they connect their hearts with us and they're present with us and they're sensual with us and we're in a lovely space and... We feel adored and treasured and connected and pleasured. And we are allowed the time for our bodies to get really turned on.

and really into lovemaking, it can be so incredibly satisfying for us. You know, I have a program called Revive Her Drive. that I wrote many years ago for men in relationship whose wives or girlfriends didn't want them for sex anymore. And I called it Reviver Drive because that's what men think they need to do. They need to... fix her because that's the male orientation and it was a very clever name because it it's really what he thinks he thinks she's broken and she's not because

Really, when they buy the program, they email me and they say, I thought I was fixing her and you fixed me. I was rushing her. I was grumpy. I was mad that she never initiated. I didn't realize it's just my job. like taking out the trash and killing the bugs. I'm supposed to initiate because I'm always horny and ready to go. And I've got to help her get turned on. And when you taught me how to escalate her pleasure and

how to make your offers small. Not do you want to have sex? That's too big an offer. But would you like to lie down and I'll give you a foot rub with a glass of Chardonnay and you can tell me about your day and I'll tell you how much I love you? I mean, sign me up for that one. every night at five please so they they always come back to me and they're like wow that was clever susan bratton revive her drive oh it was me

And I always say to guys, if she's avoiding you for sex, it's because the sex with you isn't good. If the sex was good with you, she would be making dates with you. She'd be like, honey, well, you know, things changed. Are you sure we can have sex at four o'clock today? We don't have to. And I'm like, oh no, we're having sex at four o'clock today.

Yeah, we still are. You know, that's what you want. You want to be the guy that she's like, hey, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, we're on. Let's do it because you know how to take me from. thinking about a million things to completely surrender to my pleasure with you. You know how to take me into that place. And so... That, I think, is what I would call the matriarchal view of sex is we get that kind of pleasuring and we have our partners understand that they have to help us get there.

every single time no matter how much we love sex that's what we need and i know that like often i hear from women that they just they're always waiting for their to be in the mood to have sex

um yeah but then usually there's this connection between like the libido desire and arousal like this libido desire arousal matrix i like to think about it this way you know the olympic gold the like the five rings of the olympic logo well Think about three rings, libido, desire, and arousal. That's called a Venn diagram. You're in the middle. Your libido is your body. It's your horniness. It's your lustiness. It's that piece of things.

The other side of the same coin is your overall health. If your health is not good, your libido is down. You can see a direct correlation to how much horniness you have. Based on how healthy you are, the healthier you are, the hornier you are. If you're not horny, work on your health. Desire, it's just so simple. There's nothing wrong with you. It's a health thing. Fix it.

Get to the root of it. Desire is, how do I feel? It's the emotional body. How do I feel about myself? Do I feel desirable? If you're like, oh, you're a fat pig with a gross stomach and a fat butt, and I hate myself, and who would want to have sex? You got to work on the body image issues. You got to work on self-love. You got to work on self-loathing. You've got to fix the emotional piece. It could also be that your partner's pissing you off.

And you can't be happy with them in the bedroom or them in the bedroom because they're not meeting your relationship values. They're not meeting the things that you need most in your relationship. I have a little book. That's one of my best-selling books, actually, Betsy. It's myrelationshipmagic.com. It's what I've been on television the most to talk about. People love this particular little workbook because...

It helps you really understand what it is that you need in a relationship because it's different than your partner. I always talk about the golden rule mucks up marriages and ruins relationships because if you treat. your partner the way you want to be treated and they're a totally different person, literally, probably a different, you know, sex, then you're not doing it. You've got to play the platinum role. Treat your partner the way they want to be treated.

teach them how you want to be treated. If that's off, then there's not enough desire. That also gets into all the trauma, all the repression, all the shame, all of the hurt. that has happened. You can come overcome those things. You can come through those things with therapy, somatic work, loving touch, unarmoring, et cetera, to begin to feel pleasure again.

And then arousal is that ladder I was talking about earlier, that you start pretty much at the bottom rung. There's a lot of heavy lifting in sex that almost really never goes away. Even today, I am a trusted hot sex advisor to millions. I have fabulous sex. I have a great libido. And every single time I have a date with my partner, we start on the...

bottom rung because I'm busy. I'm running two companies. I'm raising a kid. I'm doing, you know, I'm doing a lot of things. I start at the bottom rung and I got to, I got to kickstart the old mayor. I got to get her going. But my partner knows that. And he doesn't begrudge it. It's a part of the joy of the journey of the opening of our pleasure together. We just sink.

down into a yoni massage and we start that first and we get me going because once we get me going I'm good but gosh I wish I could just I wish I could just be always ready to go, or I wish I could always have an erection, or I wish I could always be. I'm not. It's just not our state. Even those of us like me who are always ready to go, I'm not really. I have to get going.

And so that's the arousal ladder. And so many women and their partners think it's her lack of desire. It's not. It's that our bodies take time to get. turned on. So once women stop feeling like there's something wrong with them, or they're different, or they're guilty, there's a few women out there who are horny all the time, but they are the aberration. They are not the norm.

And so I think so many women, I wish they could just really take that in. Like if there's one thing you take in on this conversation, it is. Just give yourself time to get turned on. Do what you need to have done to do that.

Yeah. And I find that you can't do that in multitask because you can't be like, you got to turn the brain off. You can't be thinking like, okay, who's going to do the laundry and what's for dinner and who's picking up Johnny and you know, you got it.

You know, and I do in general, and this is a generalization, I find men are very much better at compartmentalizing and focusing on one task at a time. Like women, we tend to like brag that we can multitask. The worst thing to do in sex. You know, there is a good thing. There's one good thing we can do in sex that's multitasking. So because men are testosterone dominant, they're goal oriented. And so they can.

They can only do one thing at a time. Like if you've ever tried to disturb your husband when he's focused on something and tell him something, he literally is like, honey, you gotta tell me later. I am doing one thing. You know what I mean? But we're like, because we're estrogen dominant. And the masculine is the. predator and the feminine is the prey, unfortunately. And the prey is the wild horse that's going to run away. We're skittery.

We're hard to capture. And we've got to keep our eye on everything because we could be hurt. So estrogen is the molecule of safety that keeps us from getting hurt. And so we are in our heads because of that. That's why we need our male body partner, if that's what we have, to help calm us down and get us out of our head and into our body and make us feel safe. It is really that relaxation, that safety, that is the...

the bed the firmament of arousal i mean there's some people who are wired where they want to fight to have sex that's an unusual wiring most people need to be calmed down before they can get turned on And so the one place where our multitasking actually works really well is Dr. Nan Rice. She is a neuroscientist who, she's a sexual neuroscientist and she's written some very good books. She's really brilliant. And she put a bunch of women in the fMRIs and had them achieve orgasms.

had them stimulated in different locations. And it turns out that the more locations simultaneously that we are stimulated, the more... areas of our brain light up. We are actually very good at orgasmic multitasking. And here's the really, really, really interesting kicker, which is that when you think about being stimulated in those areas. When you think about pleasure, it lights up the brain just as well as if you were actually touching the locations. So fantasy.

is a very, very, very big part of our orgasmic potential as the feminine. And what's nice is that it's your lips and mouth, your breasts and nipples, as well as... your clitoral structure, the labia on the outside and inside, the entrance to the vagina called the introidal sphincter, the inside cervical area of the vagina as well. All of those light up different parts of the brain. So the more different locations we can have pleasured, the more pleasure we have. Wow.

i i did not know this i'm like i'm like sitting here taking notes oh my goodness no what is orgasmic cross training because like i think of cross training i started thinking about crossfit and i know i'm not having orgasms at crossfit some women do so

Cross-training is this idea that you get stronger when you, you know, your body build and you do high-intensity interval training on hills and you go swim in the ocean and you take some yoga classes and you... ride your bike, you know, each of those adds to the greater. One of my mentors, I've been very lucky to have a couple of just exquisite mentors, Betsy.

And one of them is Sherry Winston. She wrote a seminal book called The Women's Anatomy of Arousal. And she taught women how to expand their orgasmic capacity. One of my hallmarks of my work in this world is... Helping people expand and move into their orgasmic potential, having 20 different kinds of orgasms that the human body can have, both the male and female chromosome bodies.

I took that idea of hers and I started looking at a lot of the different sex tools. And I don't like to call them toys because they're much more than a toy. They are a tool. I looked at all the different categories of sex tools and one of the women who I admire greatly in the sexuality space, she was telling me, oh yeah, there's kind of like categories of choice and that got me going and thinking about that. And I thought, okay. So if you look at things like...

Dr. Nan Y's work with orgasmic activation. And you're thinking, okay, touch the clitoris, touch the labia, touch the introidal sphincter, touch inside the vagina, touch the breast and nipples, touch the mouth and lips. Okay. That's one thing. And you're lighting up more parts of the brain. When you use tools and you use, it turns out I did an exhaustive study and there are eight categories. of sex toys for females, sex tools for females, and these categories activate different parts of our

urogenital complex, the vulva and vagina, the clitoral, urethral and perineal structures, the innies and the outies. I'm just using lots of different words. So to get that big picture. There's a lot of space in there. It's not just the tip of the clitoris. It's not just the entrance to the vagina. Those are just some of the spots.

And there's so many spots. So how can we use the eight different tools to activate the different areas to send more signals to the brain to bring more engorgement and blood flow to? all of the tissue so that it all becomes highly activated and sends massive amounts of pleasure signals to our number one sex organ, which is our brain. Our brain tells us that it feels good.

So we need to let our brain make the connection. It's a mind-body connection. Just like thinking about being pleasured lights up the brain, so does stimulating the different parts of the whole female genital anatomy. And so I put together at orgasmic crosstraining.com, made it simple, the eight categories and my best recommendations for each of them.

Because there is a lot of junk out there. There's a lot of stuff that's not body safe. There's a lot of stuff that has crappy motors. There's a lot of stuff that doesn't last long. That's a waste of money. Most of the stuff out there is junk.

And I have chosen and selected what I think are the very best. And I'll just give you some examples. There's air stimulators, which are like clitoral suckers, which is great, but we're really trying to move beyond just the tip of the clitoris to activate everything because it... It's a symphony. We have thrusters.

we have thrusters and pulsators we have liquors we have the rabbit which is an internal external really good for women who for example and i know a lot of them come into your office and they say

I'm getting a divorce and I haven't had sex with my husband for 17 years and I'm going to start dating now. And I think everything's atrophied and it's all dried up and it doesn't work and I don't know what to do. You know, so that's very big. So. the rabbit which is going to give the clitoral sensation while also internal sensation there's g-spot wands i'm missing a few off the top of my head but they're all that orgasmic

cross training.com. And what I recommend is that every woman has all different eight in her pleasure chest. And she begins with Just working with them. Sometimes it takes one or two tries to achieve your orgasm with any new tool. But over time, you're having orgasms with all eight of them. You're coming better.

Your engorgement happens faster, like the arousal ladder. The stairs go up more quickly. You get turned on faster because you're really used to getting all the blood flowing in and getting turned on. And you've lit up all those pathways. You've activated all that tissue. The brain knows what you're touching. I mean, a big part of it is when you're thinking about, okay, this is my G spot.

Now your brain is like, okay, that feels like the G-spot. And then when you get that G-spot stroking, the second time you're like, oh, that feels good on my G-spot. Oh, the third time you're like, oh, that feels really good on my G-spot. And then the fourth time you're like... So you just have to allow your body the time and space and pleasure and stimulation that she wants and needs for you to have this.

quantum explosion of orgasmic pleasure and then when you're with a partner you can incorporate these toys into your play you don't have to But it's so much better when you do because now you've got fingers and tongues and penises and toys. And that makes it even better. And most partners now, not all, there's still some whole backs that are like, you know.

what is this going to replace me and it's like no actually it's going to make me want to have sex with you more often so we're doing it and then they get used to it and then they love it because ultimately our partners love to see us in massive amounts of pleasure that they've been a part of creating, no matter how it gets done. And so once the pleasure starts, the fear goes away and you have really activated everything. You know, it's make me think of, I did a post.

back in may on the health benefits of masturbation because i didn't realize that may is masturbation may and so when we were talking about the different different types of devices that were out there and on some platforms it got you know a lot of support and then on one of the social networking sites i got a more conservative group who their response was i don't need that i have a man for that or like this is a this is a family place why are you talking about this stuff and i'm going

you know masturbation and sex tools have been around since the dawn of time and i can honestly stand here as a physician and tell you that there are health benefits to doing this so Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it doesn't really matter where the pleasure comes from. It can be solo pleasure that you give yourself. It can be partner pleasure. And they both equally count. Having good sex.

Makes you look 10 years younger than your cohorts. It's an incredible vascular event. So it's very, very good for heart health and cognitive function and pushing off potential problems with strokes and aneurysms. It's very good at resetting the nervous system, rebooting the nervous system. That's very, very important for people who have anxiety, depression, and stress. Who doesn't? Anybody? No.

Very, very good for releasing a cascade of neurotransmitters and hormones. Very, very good for generating the oxytocin that makes you bond to your partner as well as... not be annoyed by other people so much, which we could all, I think we should take all the fluoride out of our water and put in oxytocin. That's what I'm going to run for president long. I'm going to do, I'm going to run for vice president with Marianne Williamson. And that's going to be my platform.

i like that i like that oh my goodness you know along the lines too you know we're all always looking for ways to kind of get things working better what about sexual biohacking yeah

Yes. So for those who don't know what biohacking is, biohacking came out of the anti-aging and longevity world. And you'll look at people like... David Asprey, Peter T, Ben Greenfield, Kristen Weitzel, Natalie Nid, myself, and Anna Linfors from Finland, who we started this session talking about. What we... like to do is we like to extend the health span we want to live longer healthier more healthily and i specifically work on the sex span

That sex can be incredibly good until the day you die. There's no end. We're born sexual and we end our lives as sexual beings. We allow it if it hasn't been traumatized or kind of pushed out of us. And because it makes you younger, because it makes you look 10 years younger, there's research that shows this, that people who have intimate relations three times a week or more look 10 years younger than their cohort and have all those other benefits.

I like to help people have an extended sex span so that they can have great sex much longer throughout their lives, if not throughout their whole lives. And what happens is that you have to essentially reverse. atrophy and atrophy is as we age you know we we get wrinkles because we're starting to

lose collagen and we're starting to get, we get smaller. We have sarcopenia. I mean, I'm really working against all of that all the time. I'm working on muscle all the time, strength, balance, hand grip.

All of those kinds of things are very, very important for maintaining your sex span as well as your health span. Sexual biohacking is this idea that you can, and sexual regenerative therapies, is this idea that there are... treatments and techniques that reverse this aging. Just like when we go to work out at a gym.

Or we go get a facelift or we take senolytics or we do other supplementation or we do intermittent fasting or cold plunging or cryo or red light therapy or run on our Vaspers and our Carol bikes and our ARX. and all the stuff that we do to keep ourselves young, we can do the same things to our genital system. And though erectile dysfunction has been considered to be a male issue, it is equally a female issue.

Because we have the same amount of erectile tissue in our vulva as our male body partners do in their penis. And it atrophies and it shrivels up. And we have thinning, we have a loss of estrogen, which thins the tissue of our vagina. That means it doesn't hold as much of the fluid that comes through the blood plasma. Our vagina is not a glam, so it's not self-lubricating.

to have blood flow to the pelvic bowl. That's what happens when you begin to get aroused. If you've got vascular issues, you're not getting the blood flow into your pelvic bowl. If you've got edema or your ring fingers are swollen or things like that. You're not getting blood flow to your pelvis when you get turned on. You need to get your nitric oxide boosters going. You can do things like photobiomodulation, which is red light therapy. There's a device. Let's see, where do I have that?

Vaginadevice.com is where I put that. That's the V-Fit. Gold, that's the red light therapy with the warmth and the Kegel toning. That's really good for generating new mitochondrial growth. Of course, estrogen. replacement for many, many women is like vital for keeping back UTIs and keeping the tissue good and getting lots of fluid in there.

And then there's things like the acoustic wave technologies, Gaines Wave for men, Femi Wave for women. I've been going through my Femi Wave treatments because I've had incontinence. The other day I... Got home and I ran to the bathroom and I peed my pants before I could get them down, you know, and it's like, so these things happen to us. So we use, you know, you use, I think you have the M-Sculpt.

you've got what are the things that you're using in your office right now a bunch of things we got the mona lisa touch which is a laser that regenerates the tissue and then there's The Votiva that does radio frequency that uses sound waves to regenerate tissue. And the Amsella gets you to, it does your Kegels at 80 times what you can do on your own. And yeah. And vibration.

platelet-rich plasma using the own your own growth yeah using your own growth factors out of your blood and then actually and that's great for men too wonderful for men so we use it in women but like yeah Amazing. You combine the PRP with the Soundwave for men and they're good. Yeah, Gaines Wave and PRP is very good. Although I in two weeks, I'm headed to Desert Hot Springs to or Palm Springs to bank my own stem cells now. Nice. I like PRP, but it's inflammatory.

Yeah, yeah. And that's a part of how it works. And I'm moving more toward exosomes and my stem cells. So I'm banking my own line of stem cells with American, American cell tech. I don't know if you've gotten gotten into that yet. No, but now I will be when I go there, they're going to take basically two sticks of butter of fat from my belly. Feel free. And okay, can you take four?

One, they'll spin down the stem cells in that and they'll inject them into my torn ACLs that I got this ski season, my elbows from lifting too heavy. And just an IV for my COVID rehabilitation from my brain. And then they'll send the second stick of butter, spin it down and send it to American Cell Tech. And then ACT has my cell line. And then they can just generate and duplicate culture.

my stem cells and whenever I need them I just call them up and I'm like hey I got a traumatic brain injury can you please send my stem cells I need to get an IV right away 48 hours or 24 hours later, my stem cells are going back into my body, crossing my blood brain barrier and fixing my trauma.

So I think this is where things are going both genitally as well as whole body and systemically. So though I love PRP and it's super easy and it's not expensive anymore, it's a great place to start. There are things even beyond that. Another really good one is pumping, vulva pumping and penis pumping. Yes. So the vacuum erection devices draw the blood in and they help regenerate the tissue.

So really what's happening with all this sexual biohacking, regenerative stuff, whether it's taking nitric oxide supplements, doing the laser, the RF, the waves. I prefer the wave. I'll tell you why I like FemiWave right now.

I really like it because when you're doing the RF and the CO2 lasers, you're doing it just intravaginally. And what I like... about the femi waves and the gains wave what i like about the femi wave is they do it on the mons they do it on the vulva outer vulva they do it on the clitoral shaft and tip and then they also do it kind of inside the perineal area down below and it radiates deep in the whole thing.

And so it's, it's kind of more widespread, if you will, it plumps the labia up again, like any vaginal introidal vaginal device is going to do. the vaginal tissue and some of the, you know, the sling for your bladder, all of the musculature of your bladder. But it doesn't do anything for like saggy labia. It doesn't do anything for the clitoral and urethral tissue particularly. So I'm going down the path of...

the femi wave right now to reverse my incontinence. And the first two that I've had, I've had more lubrication than I had when I was 20. Like I'm so wet. Now I still use lube. And oh, the lube that I like right now is called Foria, F-O-R-I-A. Have you heard about that? Yeah, I carry it on my store. Well, there you go. I really like their breast oil, their Awaken, which is their couple drops right on the clitoral structure. It's got a little...

cardamom and cinnamon in it, but no preservatives. It smells so good. And the breast oil smells kind of like pine. It has this really fresh smell. And then just the regular lube, the CBD. mct oil lube is so smooth and nice like i always used to tell women just get sweet almond oil or get organic avocado oil and it's good enough it's edible there's no preservatives in it it's not going to hurt anything if you use a condom use polyisoprene polypropylene because it is an oil.

But ever since I discovered Foria, I'm like, I'm upgrading. I really love their whole experience of all of them. I'm like, honey, okay, now squirt this one on. Okay, honey, can you do my boobs with this one? And you know what? Sometimes I run across women who feel shameful about using a lube. And I'm like, there is no shame in using lube. Because first of all, you have to have good blood flow to make a lubricant. But we also be hydrated. And 75% of us are chronically dehydrated.

hydrated so that's why there's tons of lube companies out there like just grab a lube so yeah Yeah, but I don't like a lube that's grab off the shelf because they're all FDA regulated and they have to have preservatives in them. And I always say, if you wouldn't put it in here, don't put it in there, which is what I've really been happy for. Foria is honestly the first formulation that I have seen that is super, super clean and feels great.

So I'm not a paid spokesperson for them or anything. I don't have a special link, et cetera, et cetera. I mean, maybe you can buy it from Betsy's store. I just, you know, I really, really, really like that. So I've got great lubrication. Unbelievably wet now. And I still use lube. Yeah. Yeah. Well, this is, I could just go on forever. This is amazing. So yeah. Is there anything that I didn't ask you about that you want to kind of.

tell us about before we have to start wrapping it up. So I got one last thing for you and I, and I want you to do this and I want you to call me and tell me what yours are. Okay. So, cause you're just, you're an intrepid. human. And I love that about you. So. You know, I've been doing this for a couple of decades now, passionate lovemaking techniques and bedroom communication skills and helping people understand this sexual biohacking stack, you know, the blood flow, all that kind of thing.

One of the things I realized is that people want really fun things to do in the bedroom. They don't just want a technique. They want ideas. They want what I like to call erotic play dates. I put together something a few months ago called my sex life bucket list. It's at sexlifebucketlist.com and it's 48 erotic play dates. And you, if you're lucky not to have a partner.

When you download the PDF, download two copies and print them out on your home printer. And it comes with a video where I walk you through all 48 of the sexy erotic play date ideas. There's nothing weird in there. There's nothing where you guys are going to be embarrassed. Like, Oh, none of that. I mean, all over the internet, there's all these weird things, but there's, it's all like super sweet, lovey, fun, sexy ideas. There's the 24.

the war guests you can have there's all different play date ideas and what really what it does is it allows you to make an a b and c list a's are oh, I definitely want that on my sex life bucket list. B's are, well, it wouldn't be on mine, but if my partner wanted to do it, I would totally do it with them. And C's are, it's not for me right now. And I always say never say never because the things that you used to look at and go, oh, my God, that is so weird. Now you're like.

I think I'd like to do that. So you grow and mature sexually as you age, which is one of the beautiful things about aging is the wisdom that you have and the experiences that you have.

When you get your sex life bucket list and your partner does, then you can compare them and you can kind of make your A's and merge them together. And then it gives you a bunch of new things that you can do together so that it's not like, okay, are we going to have sex at four o'clock? It's more like, and by the way, four o'clock because I'm old.

I do have early sex these days, but you know, after dinner, I'm too tired. I don't think I usually am really good for that anymore. I do like the afternoon delights now. I like to be able to see and have lots of energy. So I love sex life bucket list because so many people have told me we did it. And.

Finally, I started having orgasms from intercourse with my partner. They just didn't really realize I wasn't having them. And we made a concerted effort to learn how to do it because you told us it was just a learned skill. And it's just been... But we found my G spot or we found his P spot or we did a lingerie fashion show or we did a photo shoot or we had sex on the dining room table and it was really fun because we wanted to have sex in new places.

And it's so sweet. So I would say that if you're looking to spice up your sex life, the sex life bucket list is actually a really nice experience for you. And if you're lucky enough to have a partner for your partner to do with you. I love that. I'm going to print that.

good yeah let me know what yours are because i want to know what's on your top of your list right now yeah yeah i can't wait to see the list because i'm like you know i'll be hitting what it'd be 20 years of marriage in october and so exactly yeah yeah Your husband will be game. You'll love it. Oh my goodness. Well, as always, Susan, it is so educational and so entertaining to talk to you. Where can people, you gave us a whole bunch of amazing links, but where else can people find you?

Yeah, you can, if you'd like to get on my sex tips newsletter at betterlover.com. And you're also welcome to follow me on Instagram. That's my name, Susan, S-U-S-A-N, Bratton, B-R-A-T-T-O-N. Wonderful. Once again, thank you so much for taking the time out of your schedule to talk with us. This has been really wonderful. Make everybody go make sure you check her out and also stick around. We got more amazing sessions coming up.

So once again, thank you, Susan. Thank you. Thank you for tuning into Doctor Talks. We hope today's episode has enlightened and inspired you on your path to optimal health. Each day is a new opportunity to make choices that empower your well-being. For more insights and strategies, subscribe to our podcast and visit our website, www.drtalks.com. Stay connected. Stay healthy and join us next time on Doctor Talks. Real talks from real doctors on the issues that matter to you most.