Authors' Playhouse - Womans Work

Author's Playhouse, Candy, my dear, you look beautiful. How are you well?

I'm fine, mister DEMI just dying slowly, nothing serious.

It's most becoming. Missus Stewart, thank you, mister. Things seem to have blown up in our faces, haven't they. My best girl and your husband have eloped. A rare woman or homemaker.

Candy wanted to help decide Pam Peter's faith, but fate has a maddening habit of plotting its own course. Author's Playhouse presents Elizabeth Dunn's mirthful story woman's work.

That's the very last bandage I'm folding this day. The Red Cross would be rehabilitating me if I do anymore, Candy, if you finish, come out in the hall with me for a minute. I've got something to tell you. All right, I'm coming. I hope you look all over dinner, that's put it mildly, Sit down and lend an ear. Baby. I have sinned, hope, darling. I have exactly twenty minutes before I have to go home and feed little David

He's been to.

Tehrann and Russia and goodness knows where, and now she's coming here to get over it. She must be perfectly fascinating. She's fascinating, all right. Even Lobby, my very own husband, is slightly in love with her. But it's my brother George who's causing the trouble. My brother George has been in love with Pan Peters ever since I brought her home from Miss March's for spring vacation in nineteen thirty. Why does he marry her? Because she won't. She's had

Listen?

Are you going to help me? Or are you not? I'll help not that it will do the slightest good though, why not? Well, I mean, things just don't happen that way. For instance, I only got domestic after I got married, and I've noticed that most men don't seem to like girls who were just terribly domestic before they get married. Oh, never mind, never mind. Will you bring miss Peters and your brother George to lunch next sunner? I will, and you'd better make it good.

See.

Oh gosh, what's the matter, darling, Phil, I've made a terrible discovery. I can't add all good.

Heavens. I thought you're heaving incurable disease or something.

Phil.

Isn't the bank ever wrong?

Never work? And banks run by machinery you can't win?

Is not enough?

Not what money?

Wait? Two weeks ago we had what I should have described as route funny. What's happened to him?

I haven't spent a cent of it. Honestly, Bill, the bag cakes that are something.

You've made a mistake, you'll find it. Good luck, Honey. I'm going back to my newspaper.

Listen, Bill. In this house, we run things as a partnership, don't we. You do certain things. I do certain things. I paint furniture, talk on the telephone, answer all letters from your family, and plant flower seeds right right? And you fix the fire, take care of the car, and get anything I happen to want after I've turned out the light and open the window. Right from now on, you all should do the bills.

I think so.

There are certain things that are not women's work, and this is one of them. I'll do anything else you want, Bill, I'll weave and churn and vote intelligently like you, but I will not. I will not do the check anymore.

Get away, I'll do it. You can get out on the roof. And men that shingled the blew off last January.

Some women could even do that. Some women can. All that reminds me, Darling, Who do you think is coming to visit the Morgan.

I was twenty three antaclause Stark Monty Woollie who, let's.

Not guess Pandora Peters? Oh really, but aren't you excited?

Sure, Harry too.

The Morgans. They're bringing her here for lunch on Sunday.

Really, it'll be fun to see.

Fan again again. Do you know her?

Certainly? I know I've known her for years.

You never told me, You've never asked me. Do you know Winston Churchill? No generalize in her? Mary Martin, No, Well, don't say I never ask you. When did you meet pan Peters?

Five or six years ago.

Oh before you knew me? Yep, attractive? Very did you did you see much of her?

Listen? I find that I can't add either.

But did you do?

You mean? Did I fall for No? I did not. I saw something of her, and so they did about forty other men.

You know Hope's brother, George Demis in twenty twenty.

Everybody knows George Demi.

He wants to marry her.

Fine, congratulations George. Hope You'll be very happy.

But Hope doesn't want him too. She thinks he'd be very unhappy because you see Bill, he's very domestic, and Hope says, Pat isn't a big home loving In fact, you a woman.

All this prattle about people, my mind is going go away. Let me add in peace?

Is that you Bill?

There's left of me?

Yeah?

Did you get the garden furniture washed? They'll all be here in just a few minutes. I want everything to look absolutely lush.

Do you want me to do now? Build a wing on the house. It's just time before lunch.

I never saw anyone so feeble. Why I do three times as much in one day.

Women have more endurance, It's been proved. Uh, what's for lunch.

Ham ham my good yokl We're having avocado pears and chicken ala bonfab that sin, corn bread and strawberries for dessert. Oh it's going to be heavenly, just like one of those French picnics that Renoi painted. I don't get dressed, dowling, it's late.

How do I wear voating costume?

Doling? Before you go? Just help me into this, will you? What is it?

Sleptover?

It's an apron. It seems sort of appropriate, you know, Ad asked. He sent it to me for Christmas. And I don't know exactly how to get into it. But it's set on the cord for a busy little bride, so it must be very practical.

Any little bride that gets in and out of this is bond to be busy turning around. See would it be simpler if I just tied your handed foot in, locked in a steel box and lowers in the East River. If I get you into this, you'll never get out again. And I can't see why you suddenly want to wear an apron to lunch anyway?

Oh yeah, I hear a car coming.

Okay, that's the best I can do with a darn thing.

I'll go down now. Please get dressed fast. Hi, everyone, come on over here. We're a shady it's a little candy, dear. Oh, I rushed a head while they're still pushing each other out of the car. Oh, your garden and the lunch table there under the trees looks simply divine. Oh, the whole setup is perfect, Darling, good grief. Hope is that beautiful creature? Pan Peters? Yes, did you ever see anything like her? Flax were invented for a figure like that, and can't she wear them? Gad Hope, I feel as

So kind of you to let me come to missus Stuart when the.

House guest of hopes is something rather of my Missus Peters. I read your book, Pegasus. I loved it.

Why, thank you?

That's nice as you. Oh here's Bill.

Hi, everybody, it's Peter's I presume why Bill Stewart.

I don't believe it?

How absolutely wonderful I.

Bill, open the ginger ale when you please.

What a delightful spot this is, missus Stewart. Look at us. We look just like one of Renois's picnics in modern dress, except you. You're right off the canvas.

You have a poetic soul. Mister Deming, do come and have some lunch. We all got into candy only has an eight three times a week. I simply couldn't do it. I can't boil an egg.

This chicken thing is wonderful. I'd love to cook. How do you make it? Will you tell?

Of course, I'll tell you. Begin with six little white onions. And when that fried Brad I sposed to get the press miles away from the palace, but one of the guards, well, he told me to be at the west gates eleven. So I'm left holding six wid onions while everybody else gets smuggled into a palace. Squere I was finally face to face with the print, and what could he do with so he laughed and said in Prince because he didn't well in English. Well, I don't know how you

Because I asked him right off when it was.

George, don't you want to hear how to make this chicken thing?

He really does the end of pan story. First, Oh, there really isn't anything more to my sister. Hope, whom I love very dearly, is a half with Although I do want to know how to make this chicken thing.

Sometimes I hate tag.

Come and look at my tam power. It's getting to look perfectly delicious. That darted choked, isn't it.

I say it's spin its Chinese version. I'm sure I had it once when we.

Were dining with the youngs.

It's funny. Stop.

Well, come on, feast your rights on the American version. Oh, I'd forgotten that places like this still exist, Missus Stewarts.

Oh, George call her Candy may I.

I'd even forgotten that there were girls like you in the world, simple and uncomplicated. Your husband's very lucky.

I often worst like myself. I beg your pardon, George, why don't you go and look at the tampella.

Huh oh, I get it, and I go.

Hope. This is a lot of nonsense. It's not proving a thing, Darling. Don't stop now, it's just beginning to take effect. Can't just see how George is basking. It's exactly the kind of life he wants for himself. I don't believe it. George wants things to happen. He doesn't want his women simple and uncomplicated, not for a minute. Sooner or later, George is bound to realize that pan sort of life is nervous and high strung, and geared to such speed that it has no time for the

I've got some somewhere the picnic.

We went on, which of our picnics do you mean?

Oh?

I mean the one pan and I went on, I thought you'd be.

Amused by Pandora is a funny sort of name, isn't it?

Romantic?

Mother?

I suppose, But don't you.

Think it's odd to name a child after the girl? Open the box and let all the trouble into the world.

And she's got a head on her shoulders penhad. She's writing an article for George's paper on airplanes after the war. She asked me to help her. Seems to think I can.

That's lovely.

Well, why not? Aeroplanes are my business? For crying out? Lock, don I work for an airline.

Yes, dear, I wonder why she doesn't marry George.

Why should she?

Well, Hope says she's been in love with her for years.

The only way of being in love. I was trying to reform a girl. What's the matter with her? The way she is? Everybody else likes him? Oh I suppose, so, Oh, George, George makes me tired? Great DEMI good night.

Good night? Hello, Hello Candy?

Oh, oh, hello, Hope, Sorry I bellowed. So this has been the blackest day of my life, and I'm ready to tear my hair out.

I know it's the hottest day of the year, but what else has happened to poison you?

So on top of this heat, David picked today to cut his first tooth, and he's howled for six hours without taking a breath. And I had the most frightful fight with my laundress. I lost. Of course, I did the washing myself, and I didn't have time to wash my hair. And you should see me.

No thanks, old girl, pardon me if I break into your dirge. But I'm going to have a dinner party for Pan. She leaves in a week or so, you know, and I want to be sure that you and Bill will come. It'll be on Saturday night.

Your voice comes to me as from another world, hope. But maybe by Saturday I can pull myself together and be on hand. Who else is coming?

Bill's boss, mister Dempstone, he's met Pan, and there's her devoted slave and George. Of course, all.

Right, count on us, provided I live to Lynn. I'm tired and hot, and it's nearly six and Bill will be home any minutes, shouting for his dinner.

Very well, I can take a hint. See on Saturday, dinner will be in seven.

Well, there's Bill, goodbye, hope, Bill.

Yes, it's me Bill.

You've got to fix the garbage pail. I'm going mad. I can't get the top on tight. And every dog for ten miles around has been here all day, and besides it isn't sanitary.

Oh hello, Candy, how.

Do you do?

Pen?

Won't you come in?

She is in Uh. I asked her for dinner. I was sure you'd be able to fix her up a plate of something.

Oh yes, yes, indeed, sit down, Pen. How's everything going fine? Thank you? Where do you keep your plane laguardire?

You see?

Oh that's right near Bill's office, isn't it? He is quite near? How is your baby very well? Thank you? He's getting a tooth? Really? How exciting? Yes, isn't it? You know this conversation sounds like something out of Swedish and six Easy Lessons. Doubtless you think my only subjects of conversation or baby's teeth a little white onion.

Pardon me for mentioning it, But how about some dinner? Honey?

Oh?

Yes, by all means, will you excuse me, Pad, I'll finish getting things ready, of course, Candy, dear, I do hope I didn't come at a bad time.

Oh, don't be silly, h Come on, Candy, I'll help you with the dinner. What came over you, baby, shooting off like that? It wasn't very polite.

I'm sorry.

I don't know what Pam must think.

Does it matter? Of course?

It matters. You like her, don't you. She likes you, She said she wish you knew you were better.

She's very clever, clever.

And you're sort of pasthetic too, poor kid. She can do too many things, that's your trouble.

She certainly can if she just stick to flying her airplane around the world and driving George Deming crazy. But I fail to see anything and the least pathetic about her.

Oh it's a matter of angel. David been pretty tough on you today.

No, nothing's too tough. Call the Duchess.

Supper's ready, Hello, Candy, Welcome to our party, such as it is. Where's Bill?

Where is he? I thought he'd come straight here, and he didn't come home to get me. Isn't he here?

No, my pet? Neither is our guest of honor, precious Pandora.

They're both missing.

Now wipe that look of horror off your face and let's start this conversation over again. Candy, my dear, you look beautiful. How are you?

Oh? I'm fine. Mister Deming, just dying slowly, nothing serious.

It's most becoming.

Missus Stewart, Thank you, mister Demings.

Things seem to have blown up in our faces, haven't they. My best girl and your husband have eloped, and of course on the home front, there's no telling.

What did he tell you all those two black cotted did he?

Sister dear? Remember the Deming gun pressure jeans?

And when I think what I paid them to have them walk out on me two hours before dinner and not a soul available in this whole town on a Saturday. What are you talking about? My cook and my butler. I've telephoned every cleaning woman I know, and then to have pan laid on top of it and keeping bill with her. I knew I shouldn't give this party something told are having for dinner squabs and broccoli and vhy squabs and an nice thing that takes hours. Well, Hilda

Not for me.

The only thing I know about squabs is how to eat them? There's nothing to do. Would go to ye oldie englishy tea room and very thoughts sickens me. Don't be silly. Where's an apron? Oh, Candy darling, you don't mean oh, I can't let you.

Certainly you can let her. That's the kind of girl she is, and I will help. I have a very light hand with burnt toast.

All right, let's go, George, Go cheer up your guests. Hope the dinner ready to George, where do you suppose those two are?

How should I know? Anne probably decided to fly to Mexico and took Bill along. You never can tell about her.

Well, you've always been able to tell about Bill always up to now. Personally, I think this is all your fault. Put those rolls in a pieplane.

I want to heat my fault.

If you had any sense you'd married ten years ago and taken care of her.

Well haven't I been trying to?

And why haven't you succeeded? Because you have some idiotic notion about the way she ought to be. You want everything your way, George Demming, And then you can't understand why girl Pan won't marry you. Here, Put this butter in the icebox.

Now listen. All I asked is a home, the kind of home you have yourself?

Why should you make all the conditions anyway? Suppose Pan said she would marry you unless you were good at putting up shelves. Why, I bet you can't even hang a picture? George Denning, I bet I can get those soup plates, will you? I haven't got a home myself anymore. The master seems to have departed, departed with Pan, so poody your beautiful domesticity.

But he'll be back. You're married to him.

What kind of a marriage do you think it is? Funny?

Oh?

No kind at all, Candy, no kind at all. Has Bill ever let you down before?

Noir's what? Ah?

So?

The very first time he fails to appear, you decide he's not to be killed. He's off with a pretty girl. Therefore he's no husband of yours. When you divorces, oh can you?

Of course I'm not. You don't understand.

You're just one of those girls who want everything their own way. You're jealous for no reason. You're a baby.

What the soup in the dishes? Would you please?

There's no sense in getting mad at me. You just stay mad at Bill. I'll get it. Hope's busy in the other rooms. Hello, Yes, George Demmings speaking good Heavens where killed? Okay, I'll get a plane and be down there right away, Hope. I've got to go. A plane crash north of Baltimore. I've got to get there, be on the spotful of papers.

Oh, Georgeorge, what's terrible plane crash? Oh?

Bill, I can George Catcher, I've got her.

I'm all right.

Oh dear God, it's not them. Candy here, drink this quick. It's a transport plane owned by the airlines. Bill works for the American Eagle, a big one, twenty passengers. Oh are you sure positive?

I'll answer it.

The Sun.

Hello Baltimore calling ready with your call of Baltimore.

Hello, pass Where are you? Are you all right?

Heyes, listen, Candy. Bill is out of the accident, and he said where there's been a plane crash the Eagle and the loss of people killed.

It it's bad.

Listen, Candy, this is important. He wants you to find mister Denstone. The office can't reach him.

Mister Denstone is right here in the living room waiting for dinner.

Then listen.

Tell him. Bill tried and tried to get him when the news of the crash came, but he couldn't. And the other two big shots were on vacation. I forget their names, you know, And the planes at the field were grounded, and Bill was franzy because he knew somebody from the airline company ought to be here.

So we came in my plane. What she says, blue Bill down, he couldn't find mister Denstone. Candy, Yes, pass George there.

Tell George to come, Tell him to get a plane.

George says, to come.

Tell her I'm halfway there. Tell her she's got a honeymoon breakfast date with me and Elkton Maryland.

He says, he's all the way, and be ready to marry him immediately.

No, no, I've got a I'm in goolf talking in any way. I won't fight sat tell that so and so I won't be married without a piece of airboom later if I have to make it myself still into hurry up, So on.

Candy, you steel my love.

You'll be on for breakfast.

Goodbye, Honey, these are the best mumklins you ever threw together. Why can't I have breakfast like this every morning?

A fat chance of that? Go on about pam Well.

All the way down, she kept saying how she wished we could have reached George so he could have come along and done a night with its account for the paper. And finally I said, I thought you didn't care so much for George. You just stared at me care for him? She said, I'm crazy about George. Thought you knew that. And I said, well, why don't you marry a man for Pete's sake? And she said, because George keeps winning, remodeled me into a chattel and it makes me mad.

Oh darling, how clever of you.

And she started to me again, and then she began to laugh. She kept laughing and saying, well, why didn't I ever think of it? Everybody seems to think George is the ultimate product of civilization.

Where were you then.

Well, running into the storm. Then it was somewhere north of Balamore. Honestly, I didn't think she could make it. She wasn't half bird. We wouldn't have. I thought, this is it you know what, what, Bill, I was so scared. I couldn't think. It felt as though my mind were all glued up with fear. It was horrible. There was only one thought, way in the middle of my mind. You know what. It was? What I thought. If I die now, I won't see Candy grow old. I just

I'm glad you thought that. I mean especially glad because I thought you were getting a little tired of me?

Is that why you've been acting funny? I put it down to hot weather. Tired of you.

I thought maybe you like the glamorous miss Peters better.

I'll get away, girl. You make me cross that.

Well, she's so much smarter, and she's beautiful too.

Sure, I know you're dumb and ugly, but if I deserted you, your father would be irritated. And I'm scared of your father. You know what I'm prepared to admit now, but privately, Candy, privately, that all women are smarter than all men. Oh no, well, they do just as much work and they look prettier. You look awfully pretty, darling.

I feel so good now, I'm so thankful about everything. I would like to do something for you, something difficult and unpleasant. Were Johnny, would you like me to do the check book again?

No, Angel, you have sons and married people off, but I will add and subtracts. You have heard Elizabeth Dunn's story women's work, adapted for Author's Playhouse by Elizabeth Copeland and directed by Herbert Latteaux. Candy Stewart was played by Miss Eleanor Jackson, Hope Morgan by Miss Rosalind Gastro and Pan Peters by Miss Lois Salley Wilms. Herbert was heard as Bill Stewart and Haskell Coffin as George Deming. The