Unbreak My Heart • EP301

back with our fury. This week is season three premiere. UM. So much happened in this episode, including what a ton of a d R which will explain what. But first things first, Haley came home the night of the fire, which Dan somehow survived. Honestly, Dan, so do you yes? Um? Three months have passed, Nathan ended up going to High Flyers. He still doesn't know if he can trust Haley again. Brook moves into Nathan and Haley's old apartment, which is

my favorite set. Like, I love hanging out in that set and I love that they never made us give it up. We just rotated it. Uh. Peyton is still emotionally struggling over what now, like what now her birth mother?

And then Brooke and Lucas start casually dating. Were they dating though, Like I don't know the whole Yeah, the whole like friends with benefit thing in the early two thousands was weird because it was like kind of this like girl power movement of we're not going to be your girlfriend, We're just gonna kiss anybody because we can be like boys. Um, I feel like we got kind of hoodwinked on that. Yeah we did. I think we go. I feel like a guy I made this up and

said it was our idea. You know what it is the same guy you know have like Victoria's secret. When they started doing like all the angel like fashion shows, we were told like, oh, this is girl power, love your body, and then we find out all these years later it was like super misogynistic and just dudes. Yeah, I feel like that's the movement. They're like, tit's up, girls,

tits up? Oh my god, just kissing. It's interesting. I will say, as much as I'm like on the on the idea, what I did like is that the the director of this episode, um, Greg Praine, who was you know, our on site producer, who knew us all really well. He did like to lean into what more was going on with the characters than was on the page, because he was present for every single episode, and so I led about these characters. I know he did, he really did.

And I liked that he offered me space as an actor two say the lines, we're going to be casual and whatever, but then to show that it was a defense mechanism. Of course, Brooke was testing Lucas to see if he would play by her rules and keep showing up and sort of earn her trust. And I'm glad we had someone familiar to do that with because otherwise I think it would well, they would want you to make it like sexy and it's not. It's You're totally

right when you say it's a defense mechanism. It's how far can I push you and you'll keep your promise to support me? And you know, my Brook needs after what she's been through with the last few guys and with Lucas also like she needs to be able to push a little bit and know that he's not just going to blow away with the wind. Yeah. Brooke also came back like Sabrina from Paris with the bangs that I loved so much. When the last time the banks?

Have you done this again, Sophia? Yeah, I come since then, God, I can't remember if it was like just after my thirtieth birthday. I can't believe you didn't cut pandemic bangs. Everybody on the planet cut pandemic bangs, and you're so good with them. I really do enjoy them. But yeah, I have a cowlic and so unless I blow drive them out like, they go into directions. So I've learned that bangs are a bit high maintenance for me. But man,

did I like these bangs. And I feel vindicated that all the ladies are in support because I got yelled at when I cut these bangs for our boss. It was a real dick. Oh yeah, and all these years later, I think they stand the test of time. So he can off. My bangs were great. You can just grab the off right off. Sorry everyone at home. We're spicy tonight. It's so spicy. I have my spicy tequila tonight. Yeah,

we're doing an evening podcast. We're all happily charged. We I wonder if fans can tell the difference when we do early morning podcast versus like late night, Like we should let them guests from now on, like Morning or Night. We should take a pole every week. We should actually do a poll. That would be so stories. Yeah, that's a good idea. Was that Morning or Night episode is a drunk history edition? Are we going to do a drunk o t h history where we have to tell

the story of what happened all season long? But like, oh my god, like when you and I did lame is in four minutes or something, We're going to do a sloppy recap of season two? Um no, I guys, I really really like season three. I have you know, anytime the fans ask us what seasons our favorite? Historically, for me, it's three because I you know, I love Shirley, I love Kevin Kilner, who shows up in this episode.

Like I don't have crying all the time, but jeez, I got to work with like, you know, people I loved, and we all looked so cute this season, like you and your little haircut. Everybody's hair was so good. Everybody's got a great braw on and tank tops. What was that bra because it was the same one, guys, it had such a specific front cut, Like yeah, I know it was enjoy. You're the one who spotted it. You were like, we're wearing the same bra, and that's a perfect I don't know what it is, but yeah, I

want it. It probably comes from the terrible era of Victoria's Secret Friends with Benefit bra. That's where else was there at a shop for There were really no alternatives, especially not in you know, the one Victoria's Secret at the mall. That was it. That was it, I know. But everybody did look really good. We looked cute. We were we were covering the the basis of Oh my god, like you had the Sophia, you had like the Sandra Bullock thing going on, Oh my god, had Meg Ryan.

And I'm an climb into Julia Roberts territory because you never know when my hair is gonna go curly. And I think I think we have this sort of like rom com queen trifecta happening in the in the in the season three, I'm excited about seeing the rest of I'm really excited, you know what to this is when the like hocus pocus, um, not hocus pocus. What am I thinking? I'm practicle magic Hill. This is what the practicable magic things started for us when people were like,

you guys should do Bullock and Kidman. I think, Joy, you just nailed it. I think it's the haircuts this season. I who was our costumer this year? I can't even remember, but we had somebody different come in. Was it a guy he was seasoned four? Oh? There. I just feel like there were some changings of the guard between two and three, and you can see all of us feel like more comfortable. Um yeah, like I can get comfortable in those orange pants for myself now in your pants on.

But listen, I'm telling you this episode was all tank tops all the time, Like except for Nathan, who's not wearing a shirt at all the whole episode. That's a good d D of choice for him. Though we should tell James be like, wa hey, we made an executive decision for you. Don't wear shirts? A good choice. As your friends, we'd like to tell you we have an opinion. I just love Okay, So do you guys remember when we were filming this whole like who killed Dan? Thing?

How obsessed our bosses were about creating the same kind of energy around our show that that show Doubtlas had about like who shot Ja? Oh my gosh, Hillary, I forgot about that. They were obsessed. We would never stop talking about it. And by the way, you know it worked. It's sort of yeah. I mean it literally would have been anyone except you or me, because in the end montage of the show, they show every single character on our show angry at Dan, except for Brooke and Peyton.

We're crying about other show. You guys are all trying to kill Dan. It did feel like an episode of Clue. It was like, you know, it was Hayley in the library with a candlestick. That's what the forties episode should have been. Oh my god, it should have been Clue. It's not too late. What if we did What if we did One Tree Hill Clue the movie? Yes, but Lose your Own Adventure. The end of the series, Dan is dead. So who would be like the next victim on the show? If we're gonna do One Tree Hill Clue?

Who dies next? Okay, who's the next victim after Dan? Rachel? But she's not around yet? Who else? Who's who's the bad guy? There's no other villain. He's the only villain. I mean, I guess Deb maybe would go next. Oh, it would be such a shame it would be, but I don't know, like she's the only one that seems to have that, like she could go bad if she Why does it have to be a main character? What if somebody dies in Tree Hill and then the rest of us have to investigate and prove our innocence. I

didn't do it, guys, I didn't. I've been on a webcam this whole time, being watched by Watch Me Watch You, which we didn't revisit in this episode, and I kind of wish they had just to recap and remind us that there was something creepy going on, because that was

a weird mislead in the end of last season. It was very strange, and also they made such a big deal out of it, even in the beginning of the episode where Peyton and Lucas are having this moment where they're becoming like real friends again, and she's like, I've been getting these creepy emails, and I'm like, first of all, they're on a I am and second of all, we're never going to talk about them again, like you confide in him about it, and then they disappear, which feels strange.

It feels not like a sixteen year old girl, because what I can tell you, having been a sixteen year old girl, is that when we're weirded out about something, we talk about it all the fucking time. Like we don't just like drop it and then walk away. No,

it's so high school. Yeah, you fixate on it. What I will say though, is that Peyton lives in this world have watched me watch you for a while, like for a couple of seasons, and um, I I am so paranoid anytime I stay in a hotel room or like an airbnb or something that there are cameras everywhere. Like the speed was always checking the events, the air conditions. I check every event. Do you know there's an app on your phone that can scan for hidden cameras? Because

I do, because Peyton Sawyer traumatized me. So now I'm just out there scanning every room I go into watch this. I'm really I'm into it. I think it's smart. I think everybody should do it. That should be the name of the app watch Watch. I see you, you pervert, I see you you stop me from watching you. You know what else was creepy in this episode is that face in Peyton's bedroom that they kept shining a light on. Yeah, why did that face get a feature light? It's not right.

It was a sculpture. What was it. We're in season three and Joy is like, what is that thing on your desk? I'm just like, baby, that's been there since the pilot. It was like it was like a dummy head.

It was literally like a mannequin head, but the hair part had been removed and so there was like pencils in it, like it was like a pencil holder on the desk, and of course that's the thing they spotlight and it's so but like Lucas is having this very sincere He's really trying to talk to you, and all I can see behind him is this strange like a boogieman sculpture. Also, I must say there you can tell

when something gets highlighted and when it doesn't. And in this episode, that head and that like d whatever that poster was. Yeah, they were like characters in the show. Why were they? So here's what I think. Here's what I think. If you notice everyone's wearing a white tank top in this episode, people's hair rarely changes and we

are constantly in front of the same backgrounds. I think we blocked shot the that of this episode because they interesting so much time on the fire like, like, there were certain things we had to spend a ton of time on, and so the other stuff, like the scene work, I think we blocked shot it. I don't know if we've explained block shooting to people at home, but somebody explain it. Tell him what, tell him what it is, Tell him what it is, all right now, guys, you're

the directors. I'm just the bitchy actress. Block shooting is when you take everything that's in one location in the whole episode and you film it all at one time, or if there's direct yeah, and in the in the directions so that you're facing I've actually feel like we've explained this on the show before, but I can't remember. So you just face the same direction, and everybody who's in that scene, uh or in scenes in that episode in that location will file in and do their scene

in that direction. So everybody's there all day long just waiting for their direction to be up. So you face the window, then you turn around and face the other side, and then you Sometimes it's four ways and then a wide shot, so it can be quite complicated and sometimes in order to avoid the cameras having to move all day long, all the way around the room, around the room,

around the room, around the room. They just stay in one place for four hours and then move again and stay in that place for another four or five hours, and then it's not the best way to do. I mean it's it's not. It's a super big time saver, you know. But you can also tell to like you're not moving, um, the other things to lose their minds a little bit. All my scenes, Peyton doesn't look at anybody.

It's like Chat over my shoulder or Kevin Kilner over my shoulder, because when you away, it's two actors looking in the same direction. So you only need to set up the camera once. Yeah, So we were saving tons of times so that that fire would be the most epic fire that ever fired. I remember driving out there that night hill we were so palm the build up of this fire. It was like, guys, you're never going to see anything like it ever again in the history

of your careers. There's going to be an explosion. We were like, okay. I also just remember being amped to stand in that parking lot because we were like, there's some than to know. Oh, my god, there was just something to do the Deluxe or go to the movie theater, and we were thrilled blowing stuff up. We were in the parking lot of the Independent small What is that road? Is that on Eastwood? Um? I can't remember anymore, but

you know it's road, the big one. It's the road with the freaking Victoria's Secret mall, Hot Topic, Victoria's Secret, what other stores packs on? There was? We had everything. We were living the dream blowing stuff up in the parking lot. I remember us sitting in our cars being like, Oh, this is gonna be the coolest thing ever, and everyone made it sound like it was gonna be so dangerous, and looking back at it now, I'm like, it's a fire. Like the building on fire. It's a building on fire.

Were we super controlled so it felt it still felt safe? I guess were we worried about Dan? Like, did anyone really think Dan was gonna die? Besides death? I mean, it's awfully hard to be worried about Dan since we know what happens. It's kind of like you know what happens with the Titanic, but like no one is surprised at the movie, but your heart broken guys, that feels right. He really is spurs not going anywhere. Yeah, I spurgs

not moving for you. Um. But I will say I do think at the time when the show was airing, people really did wonder if he was going to die. Yeah, yeah, I think so too. It was a big deal. It was it big. Who done it? Like what's going to happen? I think they did splashes on Entertainment Weekly on it. I think it was kind of all over all the little pop culture spots like what's going to happen to Dan?

And you can tell even in the way that it was written, you know, where the firefighter says something to Barbara, you know, to deb and she says, my husband was inside, and he goes, they didn't tell you hold on, captain, and you think, well, somebody's coming to do a death notification. And then he comes around the side of that ambulance, sucking on an oxygen mask, and he realizes nobody's happy

to see him. What did you say it was like, Hillary, Well, he looks like a Hannibal lecteror with like the mask, but he also looks like another Wilmington icon, Dennis Hopper

in blue velvet sucking on that oxygen mask just Creepsville. Yeah, it was really fascinated by the scene with Dan in the confessional because it's the first time we've ever seen him behaving genuinely sincere well, I guess, since I guess he's sincerely awful, but in being sincere about his u his place in the existential climate, the existential world, where does he belong? The first time he's really you know, being genuinely being vulnerable without anyone present who he might

get something from. Unless he's like literally trying, I guess because he does ask can I can I get forgiveness for something I haven't done already? So is he trying to? Is he trying to gaslight God? Is this stands? Fine? Doesn't because he doesn't really want forgiveness, I don't think, like right, But why is he bothering to go to

the confessional? That's a really interesting choice to make for a person to go to a confessional seeking genuine forgiveness, feeling some kind of genuine repentance, and yet also wanting to get away with something like seeing if God's going to let you get away with something. Yeah, I think

that's so interesting. I mean, there's a part of me that thinks Dan gets his kicks seeing what he can get away with, and so going in and basically admitting that you're going to do something bad and now you've got this pastor you know, privilege of are you going to tell on me? What are you going to do about it? You know, like if he can pull one over on an institution that is supposed to be um, I don't know that, like utmost respect, it shows you

just how very low he is. Uh. But like in all seriousness, does someone just sit there all day and like you can walk in at any time? I don't know what the rules are. Do they don't have hours? How does that work? Yeah? You make it my mom group Catholic? I should ask her mom, texture I think they do have ours. Is it only Catholic churches that have confessional or is it yes, it's only Catholic. Yeah, and it's private. It was a beautifully shot scene. I

thought that was really pretty. I liked how it was edited because we're coming back after, you know, a couple of months, and it reminds the audience of every single person that Dan has hurt and I'd forgotten that he piste off Whitey and you know, like you forget likely assaulted Karen. Karen threw a chair through a window. She was so mad. But Paul is so good at going

back and forth between the sincere and the evil. I mean when when Deb comes up to him and he's got amnesia so you know, so called amnesia, and he can't remember, and he's being so genuine with her, and I really thought for a moment like, oh my gosh, maybe this amnesia really really changed him. How does he do it every time he gets us? Yeah, he really does well. Because the audience, you know, they're like, surely at some point is this it? No? No, this isn't

this no? No, how long can it go on before? The audience is like, it's never happening. But it's really playing on our emotions. Think about real life, think about the people in your life that you know who are like that, and you still keep thinking, maybe this is the Maybe this is the moment, Maybe this is change we do it. This is why there's eight million memes out there about like set your boundaries walk away, like exactly. I see these Instagram posts. I like them. Um Dan's crazy.

But Deb also is, you know, like making her gin comments. She did she finish up pill rehab and now she's drinking. Is that what's happening? She did, but she you're not supposed to do that. I'm not supposed to like drink after you go get go to rehab for pills. Again, I don't know what there is sober. I don't either. I think sober is sober. I think you're supposed to not do that. So, yeah, she's making these comments and

she's him, and she turned Karen's into a cyber. Yeah. Yeah, I wonder if maybe she's making because she goes to get coffee but she's making jokes about Jin. Is she making fun of herself? But it's just not very good writing. I don't I don't think I understand it. I just we still don't know who actually lit the fire, and I think it was her. I think even though they're alluding to that, it was Lucas. I think you're right. Somebody who which one of you said Lucas, Hillary said

Lucas saves Dan stand fire? I think that was it. And the giveaway that Lucas saves Dan is that he has the burnt card. So Lucas was in that dealership when it was already on fire, But why would he Why would you save someone's life and take the card that what ties you to the crime scene, Because I think he's trying to protect whoever did it, because to Lucas, he doesn't know if it was Keith, he doesn't know if it was na. He doesn't know like if it

was his mother or Andy. You know, Lucas is trying to protect whoever actually did it because he knows that those repercussions are well. And it's smart too, because the way they set up the deb and Nathan of it all. Nathan comes in and she says, I've been here alone all night, which sounds ridiculous and like she's trying to establish an alibi. But where was Nathan because it could have been so So they start playing tricks on you where you're like, well, it could have been her or

if she was home, it could have been him. And she says, we're getting out, and he says, I know we are, is it? Because he's making sure they are, Like they did a good job establishing the question did your husband just walk by with his shirt on? Done? He just brought me he has a shirt on under that is unbuttoned. Sofia's fiance Grant is, so I have to say, uh that he's like, they'll become the wine connoisseur. I think over the pandemic, right, he became a wine conisseur.

He was really into wine even before. But yeah, he's now made it like his actual organic For me, yes, but it's all like organic, bio dio dynamics, biodynamic. Can I just tell you. I went over to Soaf's house and we sat and had dinner, and I drank way more wine than I usually do. I'd usually stop at a glass and a half because I have to drive home, or I just I also just don't like the way I feel in the morning and after drinking wine the headache, I feel awful, so it's not worth it to me anymore.

So a glass and a half is usually my limit. I definitely went over that, and I tell you, I woke up the next morning and felt fine, yeah, fine, there's no nothing and nothing. What is this magic? And it's because they're all organic wines, because it's not wine that makes you feel bad, it's the creepy additives that they're allowed to put in it. Grant explained it to me this way, which I thought was such A good way to understand it is that they've basically made wine

into Coca cola like they wanted to taste. They want every attle to taste the same every time, and wine is alive. That's not how it works, you know. And so when you drink um completely organic, natural wine, biodynamic wine that doesn't have one legally allowed additives in it,

like most of the wine that comes off a shelf. Yeah, you're like, he'll run wine tastings for people over here, and you're like, we'll start with a white and then go to an orange, and then we'll do a light red, and then we'll do a red and everyone's like, what's happening? And everybody the next day is like, I don't have a headache. I feel great, okay, because you didn't get poisoned. You just had a nice day. We gotta sign up

for Good Good what is it? Good wine, Drink good wine, Drink good Wine Club Oka shamelessly plugging your thanks, very fun business. And we need the wine suitcase right on the front. Yeah, we need a wine suitcase and we'll just cart it around with us when we take this show on the road. Folks. That's right. Well, you know who really needed a glass of wine in this episode? Was Hayley work you had to do in this episode? Did that beautiful scene between you guys when you come

in and you ask him if he's awake? Hey, you guys? God, that scene was so good. The kissing. I cried. It hurted. It's like, yeah, it made me tear, it hurt. I remember filming that, and uh, it's It's so one of those things where the muscle memory, the visceral muscle memory of filming it came rushing back to me and um, because we spent a long time in that room that day. Yeah, maybe a lot of scenes, but we spent a lot of time in that room. And James and I had

not done any scenes like that before. We had the one in the at the concert backstage, which was really just me giving a speech and then he leaves. So the back and forth, the combative like being a married couple struggling. James and I had not done anything like that. Also, James was very aloof and he still is. He's a very aloof guy. It's one of the great things he was going for him to, you know. Um, But but he's a good totally and so I never I'm you know,

very I'm a musical theater kid. I'm like, no, no, no, like, you know, what do I have to do all my feelings on a platter right here? I'm giving to you. And James was always so poker faced, and so I never knew whether he liked me or not. And I really wanted him to like me, just like as a friend, like be. I just wanted to know that he liked me as a person approval, and then I wasn't hopelessly annoying to him. And so that was always that was

always going on in the back of my mind. So I remember when we filmed these scenes, it was actually particularly painful for me to have rejecting me joy Yeah, because it tapped because it tapped into a very real fear. You were like, he doesn't like me, and in this scene having like he doesn't like me. Oh no. It's so I totally get it because we do work in this world where like, like I would say, most of the people that we work with are incredibly like, hey,

let's be best friends. Let's it's like puppies, right, It's like it's just like, you know, getting a pile and kuddle and tell each other all our secrets and because James is not like that, Like James is very sure of who he is and he doesn't need to project, and he's like, he's just different. There's a calmness to him where he didn't need the same validation that we did.

And yeah, I felt the same thing, joy because I was always like, well, why don't you want to share like secrets, Like why don't want Yeah, totally tell me you're feelings into an elevator in Paris. I got an elevator with him and my pair who had come out to watch Maria, and we all got an elevator together. He gets off the elevator and my old pair who's German, and you know, they're very stoic. He gets off the elevator and she's like, he's calm. Yes, we're frantic people,

we are, We're frantic. But I think I think that was also why he he had such a good grounding energy for all of us, because you're right that that desired a puppy pile that you talk about. It's like it's summer camp, it's camp friends. It's like we're in this cabin and we're going to be friends forever. If you're going to know everything about me. And James was always he would look at us. You know what he reminds me of. It's like the rancher who watches all

the baby horses run around like Jim's waste. James was in Yellowstone. We were on one dree Home. By the way, he should absolutely be on Yellowstone, he should be on that show. But he was just very much like, all right, psychos, run arounduntil you're tired and then I'll feed you from We were like, okay, like that's who he is, and he still is. It's like a that's yeah, we gotta you know what the moral of the stories we needed by James accoutoyant. Yeah, I'm down for that. We'll just

send it to him with no note. He know he made smart choices too, because he was like, I have my real friends. They're my friends from home and my little brother. And that was something that it took me a very long time to learn. In our business is like a boundary is important, and keeping your home and your work life separate is is a very important tool. And jamesonhow figured that out as a child, So kudos to him, man, I appreciate it. I wish i'd know, no,

really really nailed it. But God, isn't that funny. I've had that joy, that thing you talk about like Hillary, I even remember having it with you. So I was

totally standoffish and weird on our show. Well, but you went in phases because and then it was for me, like even inside of our friendship, like we'd be doing these scenes where you know, we get to the point where brooking Peyton or fighting, and I'm like, it feels personal though, like it's on the script, but I feel uncomfortable in the scene, and it's really it's breaking my real heart, not my brooke heart. Help me, do you

guys that I did always? Of course, of course, ye dude, even like there's there's I have to remind myself to not take it personally. It's okay because it feels really our job is to make the feelings on the page reel. And I think when you finally learned that that can emotionally make you feel crazy, you learn coping skills. But like God, there were days when we were shooting up in Toronto were like Jason and I would be battling in these scenes and then we we'd finished the scene

and I'd be like, Jason Isaacs, it's me. Sophia friended me. I need you to hug me, you know, and and then you know, he'd be in a sweet little British accent like, oh, darling, and I was like, I just need to remember in my body that it's not real. Oh. I love that. I love asking for that. I remember in my body. We didn't know to do that when we were doing our show. Like you would have never said to James, this has made me very uncomfortable. Could you hug me because you're my friend like you would

have never. Would you please let me know that you don't hate me, Hold me, hold me, James. He would be like a fresh sure, I don't hate you. I don't hate you. And he would have rolled his eyes when he said it, and he'd be like, but you look like you do. It's like why, I mean, maybe that's an artist thing. I've since I was young. I remember always being so paranoid, terrified every room I walked into that nobody liked me for no reason. Does that ever go away? I don't know. I guys, I still

feel that way constantly too. I go to the grocery store and talk to a check out woman for too long and like, you know, ask her about where she got her nails done, and also I like your hair and leave feeling like, oh no, oh no, I messed up, Like she's gonna think I'm a psycho. And then I'm going to wait for her outside in the parking lot, you know, like on the way out, you're like, by the way, not not single white female, just think you're awesome. I'm sorry, why did I say that? Like? Can I

have your number? You knowends the it's the weird vacillating between really being sincere and just like I like you, I think you're cool, and then also the thing of perpetuating this do you like me? Do you like me? And then people who are good at detecting bullsh I've definitely encountered some of those people when I'm in a spin and I'm feeling like I need people to like me and they just are not having it, not because they don't like me, but because they're not interested in

my need for them to like me. That makes sense, Like they can tell that everything that I'm doing is only is not really because I'm interested in them, It's because I am trying to get some kind of reaction out of them to feed myself. Okay, that is some major therapy growth, right there. Can we just like like have a desire to like snap for that, Like that's a big fucking deal. Pause You're like, you're like, oh, this is triggering my need for validation. Understood that that's

some serious grown up lady growth. Yeah, do we need to acknowledge when that happens? Like am I doing this really for you? Or is this really just all about me? And I need to just like allow you to have whatever feelings you're having, whether you like me or on and just I can share my feelings for you genuinely and then walk away. But I don't need to perpetuate this like song and dance to make sure that you like me, and then I can walk away being like, Okay,

another another person likes me. Good check check that off the list. What is the worst? What is the worst like fake fight you've had on a job where you have been like scared as real, like because our show we were babies and so we didn't know how to separate fact and fiction very well. But yeah, like I played a mistress on a TV show that Tony Collette was the lead in and her husband was Tate Donovan, and so I was supposed to be having this affair with Tate Donovan, and I was so excited to work

with Tony Colette. And she was just like, I'm gonna need you to stay away from me, and and she was so lovely but like very professional, but also like we can't be girlfriends. And I just remember being like, oh no, oh no, I've come off so hyper. I've come all like the mistress, you know, because like my character had to apologize to her and be like, oh

my god, I'm so sorry. You're such an awesome woman and I didn't know, and like I'm like, oh no, I'm perpetuating this in real life because I'm like, I think you're so cool and I like your hair, and also your shoes are really pretty today, you know. Like that was the weirdest I've ever felt professionally, because I was like, no, no, I swear I'm a normal person. I swear I'm just playing a horror. I'm just playing hor Oh my god, I don't know. I'm I'm really

trying to think of um oh, I don't know. I mean maybe I'm just thinking about it because I literally was just talking about it. But when we had that fight on the front lawn of Peyton's house, that would hurt. That that to me up for a bit, me too, Like I didn't feel okay and and I think we both were like wounded and then didn't want to say it but could see it on each other's faces. So we just kind of like you were literally wounded your skull.

Like we had a moment I was like, something is wrong, um, but yeah, I don't know. It felt Oh, I just felt so awful into something like dark yeah, to like girl wounds, to like the betrayal of the you know, the first best friend betrayal you ever go through, or whatever, and it just felt big and painful. And it was two thousand five and no one was in therapy yet,

so it was really hard to do with better. No we had no like mental health leaders on Instagram sharing inspiring infographics in your morning feet would have been amazing. Can you imagine if they had actually just made like Beth Crooka maybe like or somebody kind of like her who was just ten years older than us, so still

young and cool, but like clearly had her together. It just made someone like that are like a guidance counselor on why didn't we have a guidens counselor, especially because there were so many big things we were going through and people treated us like grown ups, but we were kids. And then we were like, well, we can't admit that we feel like kids, because we're supposed to be the grow we're you know, employees, Like we're supposed to have it all together, so we just like fumbled around for

years dumb. Do you think that in in other professions, which we I mean, none of us can really know because we don't do anything else, But I wonder if this is you know, we think this is an extraordinary problem just for actors, but maybe in other professions other people feel, especially young people coming out of college or going you know, going into new jobs or internships. I mean, I wonder if kind of the pressure is the same everywhere.

I think the public notoriety, like that's something else. Well, here's what I'm gonna say. I think the pressure is very similar. I think the pressure of public notoriety is hard. And I also think the utter lack of boundaries in film and television, Like when you go to work at an office, you're doing spreadsheets. You're not doing like emotional scenes where you're fighting your best friend whose parent has died. Like, that's not in the wheelhouse. Take a clothes off, you

look in that bathing suit. Yeah, Like that's not in the wheelhouse of a typical nine to five. Not to say people don't get pushed around and harassed in all the things, but you're not emotionally manipulating yourself in a group for your job with no guidance or help. Like, so I do feel like, I'll say, I've got a lot of work in healthcare and they do emotionally manipulate themselves because they have to. That's compartment in a way that we had to where it's like feelings, I can

control these things. Well, yeah, how do you witness suffering every day and do your job? If you're a doctor, if you're a nurse, if you work in a hospital, Yeah, you get real good at disassociating, which, well you have to as a profession for any of us. The suffering person has to look at you and see a stable person. They can't see you breaking down well to that extent because the hairdressers have to do the same thing, you know, So it's like you can find glimmers of this, of

that same thread. Yeah, like shadows of it. When you are taking care of other people, you are not allowed to authentically feel your feelings, and so especially when you're a young person, it gets, you know, sloppy. Yeah, it gets sloppy. And so I think the nicest thing we can do is say, hey, your twenties are real sloppy, Sure, love you anyway, and forties get way better. Kids, they get so fun. Want to learn some of the stuff we learned, will pass it on to you, and we'll

also give you a discount for therapy. You're welcome, Right's right? You know, please cut to the ad right now. Oh my god, that's the best transition I've ever done. That there's my directing at But it actually is really interesting because thinking about the sort of tessellations of that expectation to serve the group, you see our characters grappling with it. You know, Hailey made a choice for herself and is punished for it, and granted it was messy, but she's

a teenager. What was she supposed to know. Peyton is having a real hard time, you know, not taking this family stuff personally, and and is struggling to express how she feels, and has this conflict with her father because she feels betrayed and and Brooke doesn't want to get hurt, so she's putting up all these walls and boundaries and saying like, I'm in control of this, but really she doesn't feel good about it. And all these kids are just trying to figure out how to get back to

normal before they were heartbroken. But you can't unbreak heart, and so you're just not the same after a heartbreak as you were when you were like an innocent, little freshly hatched chickling. Going to write a country song. I'm going to write a country song called you Can't Break Break Heart. Thank you, So I please write us that song. Um So, I just don't matter what you do, you can't own break a heart see the win a Grammy.

But I just think there's something really interesting about that, not only in the landscape of our show, but in this larger landscape of talking about how, even as grown women in rooms, sometimes we don't feel like we know what to do with our feelings. Yeah. I read a book. It's a novel. It's called Elegance by Kathleen Testsero. I

read it last year. What a Name? And Uh. It's about a woman who's um getting out of a marriage, and she's always been sort of rather frumpy and just not really given any much thought to her what she puts forth into the world. She just shows up at

work and does her thing and goes back home. And and she gets ahold of this vintage book on elegance, and she starts going through the chapters for what each chapters four And you know, some of its seems quite silly, how to match your handbag to your outfit and things like that, and then some of the things are are deeper.

And I tell you I haven't been affected by a novel like this in a really long time, because while I was reading this novel, I found myself so I related to this character so much, and I so wanted to slow down the way that she was slowing down as she was learning how to not walk into a room and apologize for herself immediately, how she was learning to slow down instead. And I found myself doing it too, Like I'm I'm a I'm like a ping pong ball around my house. If I leave something upstairs, I don't

walk upstairs to get it. I run upstairs and get it, and then I run back downstairs to just sit back down on the couch where I was like, I can't just walk and sorry, I just had to say it. Thanks Um. But I've really found that it helped. I've been wanting to go back and reread it because I've gotten out of the habit that I was in during the month. It took me a while to read because

I was doing other things. But during the month that I was reading this book, I really slowed down and I really was taking in my the appreciation for myself, for my environment, will Um. And it wasn't a vanity thing like I want to be elegant. It was I deserve to carry myself in the world in a way that that reflects my value. And it's really beautiful anyway, I recommend it to you girls. But this just makes

me think of that because we do bounce. We bounce all over the place, bing bing bing bing bing bing bing from point point A to point z um, and sometimes we just need to slow down, and that can be hard to do, and we're constantly worried if people like us or not. I really like you, guys, I like you too. I like you too. Can I say one thing about Haley. Um, this is the first time this episode. I don't know why. I think it was something Peyton said. I can't remember. It was one of

you two. One of you two said something about like the choice that she the choice that I made. And I think for the first time, I'm realizing that Haley has always been always Peyton. Peyton was mad at Haley, and why at Haley. She's mad at yes, yes, but what she said wasn't totally untrue. And what I realized is that Haley actually has been a part of a unit her entire life, a family unit, all those kids, and then got married, immediately left her parents house and

got married, so no wonder. She just was like, ah, I gotta I gotta be on my own. I have to figure out how to be on Yeah, it kind of It was the first time I realized that with her, that everyone needs that space that time. UM, I agree with you, and I think that the way Haley came back, not bouncing all over the place, you were very still, and you were very like, quiet but firm. It was a strong move because another actress could have been like, please, Nathan,

take me back Nathan, it's too much. I can't bear it. Um and you you were slow and methodical about it, and you had to repeat yourself over and over again. And it never felt stagnant or stale. It was just firm and loving. And I think that's that's what anybody who like putting myself in Nathan shoes if the trust is gone, firm and slow and steady is exactly what you're looking for. It's like, calm it down, let's remove the melodrama, make me believe you. And it shows that

she learned something and is sure. And you have this idea that she was always any unit and never got to do something for herself. She went out, she went and had her hero's journey. She went out on her own. Sure, And that's very nice. And it's weird as you're saying all this Hillary, where you're like the slow in the steady, I'm like, oh, that's what Brooke is trying to get Lucas to teach her he is yes. She wants him

to prove that he is sure being steady storyline. I didn't see it until just now, but she's like, you want to show your short prove it slow and steady I'm gonna test you, I'm gonna push you. Let me see it. Yeah, I wonder if Brooke and Nathan are about to kind of be in the same place, Like, is Nathan going to test Haley? Mm hmmm. I don't know. I don't remember. I don't remember, but I'm I'm deeply that's what this episode is all about testing love, Like

because Peyton and Peyton Peyton dad guys. I had no recollection of how firm Kevin Kilner was with me in those scenes where he's like, you can be mad, but don't you dare bring your mother into this, and he doesn't hug her and he never tries to like smother her with affection or anything like that, and he said a boundary. Well, in min mind because Kelvin Kilner was someone who I really really liked a lot, and we

ended up working together later on White Collar Um. Kevin Kilner is the best and has such good dad energy, and I guess in my mind I thought we were all like warm and fuzzy, and Larry is not warm and fuzzy with Peyton here and she's testing his love and instead of doing the whole like I'm going to tell you, I love you over and over again. He's like, knock it off, you're being a rat. Stop it like

good parenting. It was hard parenting, but he's he's I I loved Thomas who played my dad before, but Kevin felt like dad, Like I wish he would have come back for weddings and things because he was so good. I know. And you pointed out something so interesting when when he came on screen, where we were like, oh my god. Even Kilner looks so much like Brian Greenberg. They always say like, you know, you fall in love with the version of your dad, and it's like, holy

Jake Jagowski and and Larry Sawyer are twinsies. Yes, Peyton's got dad issues, mom issues, best friend issues she has. She's just a regular high school girl man. Peyton on her walls. I love that, you know what, This is the first episode. I know Peyton has been very artistic obviously the last few seasons, but this is the first episode I really remember seeing the art, the artistry coming out literally onto her walls, just pouring out of her

everywhere she goes. I love that, the breaking the mold, breaking the boundaries, just like, yes, paint on my walls

and the throat whatever. Yeah, that that mural with those faces and the one like hypnotist wheel and the six billion that is a sense memory for me, like the hours we used to spend in that room, like and we would find a random face and like make up stories about that face in the crowd from yeah, oh my god, I remember, and we would like we would like assign crew members we worked with to some of those faces to be like that's you, Brian, or that's you,

you know, like, yeah, we just steered at it for so so long. And I don't know where that pictures from. Like I don't either. I love that backstory. At some point we have to have some art department members on the show because they can walk us through like the lamps of it all that weird head on the desk. We've got to do that. I want to know where all that stuff came from. That was a really big deal, wasn't it. That moment in the city when you painted the number on the wall and that of the most

famous quotes of the show. Yes, I mean that stands alone in the Zite Gay. We've had a lot of people get engaged using that quote, like and people like use it in their wedding videos and stuff, because that's all you need is one quote is like, I swear that's Lady Gaga's that's where she got it, That's where she got it. It has to be I like the ownership repeat of her. She used that same quote over and over and over in all these different interviews. You

have to google Lady Gaga. All you need is honestly, I'm down for God to be one real fan. Let's do wish. That sounds fun. Does she want to come from Red Bedroom Records? She should. I used to get to hang out with her in Chicago. She's a babe, and that's right. She's great. I love that's awesome. I remember texting Jenny being like, it's happened. My girlfriend Jenny,

who's one of my best friends from Walmington's um. You know, we we used to like take a party bus down to Rally to go to Gaga shows, UM when she was touring, So like, oh my god, I was like, it's happening. I've met her. It's so great. We've we've achieved to the next level of Super Mario Brothers or whatever, the you know, Like I was like, Gus insane. I mean in the Matrix. Yeah, weird in life, those those level of moments where I'm just like, did I hit

the right mushroom? And now I'm here? What? Like what happened? Guys? Literally, my son just got a game Boy from the nineties for he we went to like a vintage Tetris. He got Tetris, but he got Super Mario Brothers too, and so he's like, it's like it's like we're back because I hear that sound, just like it's like he's hitting all the mushrooms. Um, go for it. Guess you get those mushrooms you get? Guys, we have listener questions we do?

Do you want to should we read some of the Yeah, well she just Beth wants to know who your favorite musical guest over your time on the show was. Yeah, I wish we'd had Gaga on this show. Right, it's like the beginning of her like trajectory. Yeah, damn, I would love. Did we ever end up getting like pe I know you loved Peaches early on? Did she ever come? My God? I love Peaches? I know, guys, we love that. We will play in the trailer and make people and over again. I love it so much. Oh God, that

was I forgot about that. Joy, I'm so glad you're man. Okay, so she wasn't on this show, but anyway, I remember that. No, I loved Grace Potter, man, I still love Grace Potter. Of her Yeah, she's so talented. Yeah, one of for me, also one of the best. Like there were so many moments that were cool, but god, she was just she's like a she's like a mirrage, Like she feels like

she came from another world. She's awesomember to Yeah, and that felt so cool too, because that that when they came on the show, we got to do that big USO show and it felt so special to be able to kind of use the platform of our television show to go and throw a massive event like for the troops and their families. That that was special. That's when I think a lot of us were like, oh, we could do stuff with this. Yeah, we could actually do good in the world or like at least, you know,

interact with people on a more authentic basis. Like it's one thing to go and like sign autographs and shake hands, but it's another thing to put on a show and go spend time with the families and get to know people, and that was a that was a really special experience. Um, Jack's mannequin was another really great get you know. That was God, that was a fun one. Yeah, we were lucky. We're anybody anybody right now that you guys would want on like who who right now? Would be? I know

who you want? But I wasn't even going to say that because I, yeah, everyone already knows that I'm not trying to make Who do I want? That little chick is so cute? You know who? I would love if we were making the show right now, I would make my friend Jack Garrett come and play because he's just God, He's just the best. And like, I love nothing more than taking people who haven't seen him perform live to a Jack Garrett show because I'm like, your brain is

going to explode and I can't wait to have it explodes. Yeah, it's my favorite. What about Leo Leon Bridges? That would be some that feels real brand that'd be special. Yeah, yeah, all right, what's our other question? Well, Katie says, I want to know how much of how a line is said is down to the actor and how much is down to the director. Depends on the director truly, I

will say. And we talked about this while we were watching the episode and as we're all um in our in our late night Spice Brooks one liners are getting so good, so good. Oh you've got the best dialogue right now in the airport when Haley comes to the apartment, and I remember being so thrilled, like the sense memory I had watching that scene when you walked enjoy and I went, I got room for you, but not a

lot of pity. And I remember when we were shooting it and whatever that is, like I caught the rhythm and I was like, that's it, that's the and I forgot the feeling because it was twenty years ago and we watched the scene and I was like, oh my god, and you guys just been laughing because at the airport at the beginning it was great, too funny, and these aren't for me, okay, great, like there's my cap I just god, it was like what do you say? Quick? Quick? Tell me you love me? Loved it? Oh my god.

So I will say I think like yeah, sometimes a director will come and say, you know, put more of this under it or whatever. They don't tell you how to say something. It's like very there's a big faulx paw in our industry with what's called a line reading. Someone comes and like reads your line for you. They're they're emotionally fired. Um. But I actually don't mind a line reading really, um, just the director and I trust the director. Yes, if it's not working, that's the thing,

you have to let me try it. If I if I'm trying it and I'm not understanding what you're saying, just tell me what you just tell me. It's fine because because if I can hear you say it the way that you think it should be said, then I can actually understand whether or not that's going to make

sense for me or not. But if I don't really get what you're saying, if you can't communicate in a way, that's like if we're just we're missing like you're saying it, and I'm not here for whatever for whatever reason, Yeah, then I don't mind. I don't mind a line reading. I remember I remember working on White Collar and you know, we had just come from North Carolina for six seven years, and I had to say some like business word and I kept saying it was like a jojo accident, and

the director would just yell from behind the monitor. God, what was that word? It was? Oh, it was something so stupid about like business contracts or some legal ship. And they were just like, where did you come from in that situation? Yes, give me that line reading, say it over again, spell it out phonetically, put it on a cue card. Oh I love it. But yeah, I think that's that's the interesting thing. You know, directors rotate

on TV and we're there all the time. So um, there's just something that happens in this season where you can really see everybody kind of clicking into the next level. And something happened, particularly because I'm reliving it now, like something happened with the way that the writer's room and I like clicked into Brooks comedy in like a deeper way. And I would just read the scripts and giggle. I

was so excited. I think they realized everybody else was everybody else was weeping in the I just got so excited. I'd read these lines and be like, oh, I can't wait, I have i'mun them up with this one. So well, you did it brilliantly or so good. I love book. I love brook more and more every day. Me too. God, I loved her. I get it. Well, should we spen a wheel? I want to spend the wheel. It's amazing that we can talk for long. I know. This is joy, guys,

this is is killing at home? We know. Uh. This week's most likely too, is who is most likely to leave their It's not even a question and a question of who is a question of when's the last time she did it? Yes? When last time in Charleston in November. Oh my god, that cute guy in charle E'll say we got a picture he was. I love it so much. She'll text us and be like, guess what I did? We know what you did. It's why we love you. We know every little detail were enough to have Joy

lens saunter into your establishment. You better, mama. We might get a phone number. Never know. Okay who who the characters? I think Brooke, Oh yeah, Brooke Davis. Yeah, Brooke Davis would leave her phone number on a receipt and then walk up to the waiter and hold it. They would not, It wouldn't be But you know I like that about her. Love it well, guys are next episode is the three episode two from the Edge of the Deep Green Sea. Wow. So drum. Well this I missed you guys, guys so much.

I missed you too. Next time, what's reporter like four o'clock in the morning, you know, like we'll let the fans figure out what we're up to our late night antics. Thanks for bearing with us, guy, all right, see you next week, lovey, Hey, thanks for listening. Don't forget to leave us a review. You can also follow us on Instagram at Drama Queens O t H. Or email us at Drama Queens at I heart radio dot com. See you next time. We are all about that high school drama.

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