Tears and Junk with Cullen Moss ᐧ EP622

First of all, you don't know me.

We all about that high school drama, Girl drama, girl, all about them.

High school queens.

We'll take you for a ride, and our comic girl shared for the right teams Drama, Queens, l girl Fashion, but your tough girl, you could sit with us Girl Drama, Queens Drama, Queens Drama, Queens Drama, Drahna Queens Drama Queens.

You guys, we're with our favorite.

Colin Moss is here just stuffing everybody.

Just get out of my lane.

I'm here to win.

Jump pay McReady is not to be messed with.

Can I give you a jersey that says that please please?

I would love it?

Oh? Okay, So this is a big sad episode and Colin's here to make it better.

So thank god because we just wept through six queer us.

Okay, Sophia, tell him, tell him what we watch.

Guys, we watched season six, episode twenty two, Show Me How to Live. It aired May fourth, two thousand and nine. Colin, do you want to hit your little your little chat icon and read us the synopsis?

You know I do. Brooke and Haley throw Peyton a baby shower while Sam grows closer to Victoria, Lucas and Jamie bond while working on Peyton's car, and Nathan learns that NBA Scouts will be at his next game. Meanwhile, Antoine and Lauren go on a date that goes all We're wrong. Directed by James Lafferty.

James's first episode, There we Go.

That's crazy. How old was he in two thousand and nine?

Like twenty two was he?

It's like, it's insane seeing everybody this the episodes, I mean, and especially like especially the dudes for some reason, because like and I'm not I'm not blowing smoke, but you ladies are have are very unchanged to me.

I mean, more smoke, please, thank you?

You go right ahead.

Well, I mean it's it's true, but I mean, and I look at like all these dudes in there awkward still like we're still becoming phase.

So yeah, I liked this episode because everybody had something to do, and even though it was really like everybody was doing something a little different, especially Brooke and her spy wardrobe and the Dunkin Donuts commercial.

It's like the full head scarf and.

The loved it.

But I was like, all right, well now that that's out, of the way she could focus on her dramatic arc of trying to adopt a child.

Loved it.

I loved it.

Troubled Sam.

I know. Yeah, having everybody have their own storyline is always really fun. And I love the Boys Apartment. We do this thing on the show Colin where we give honorable mentions and I can't tell you how many times the Boys in the Apartment has gotten the honorable mention.

Yeah, the couch dwellers. Yeah, it's just.

The realist part of the show.

You know, Sophia's trying to adopt a teenager and who knows what Peyton's doing, you know, and the boys are just eating pizza playing video games.

It's so nice, Yeah.

Especially with some people in their early twenties, which our characters are supposed to be. Like Brooke Davis runs this giant, multi million dollar company, and Nathan's in the NBA, and everybody's buying houses, and like even even you guys like Lucas and Peyton are just.

Living in a house.

His mom was like, you can have this kid, I'm going off on a yacht. Like it's so silly, And thank god we've got some boys who are roommates ordering pizza, cause you know, we were all trying to figure out like how to be and pay rent and stuff, and.

We didn't know, we didn't know anything.

And I love that.

I love that we have some characters that are based in reality.

Yeah, the truth of arrested development and.

Well, you know, is it even arrested. It's actually like normal, a natural progression.

Yeah, that's exactly what I was doing in twenty two and only you know, I always I think there is this implication that that some paraphernalia had just been set down before the camera had us, Like, I don't like it often, like.

Yeah, that's fun. I wonder what, like what were junks goals in high school? Like did he ever have a crush on someone? We didn't see a lot of junks, Yeah, like secrets. So what was the backstory that you created in your head?

Okay? I I wish that I was that thoughtful back then. Sometimes I could make something up right now.

You were like, I'm just here for the craft service.

I love it here.

What do you want me?

What do you want me to say? Flippantly? Okay? I mean I'm sure junk. Did you know there's like and and I think I think I did just have like this Junk was just like anyone just smng something because anything. There was one thing of like a brief element of me showing a picture and I don't remember of whom two to the guys saying, oh, it's this girl I met at camp. She lives in Canada. And you know, it was the It was the bullsh I love that thing.

But by the way, that happens until my wedding, everyone was like, Okay, Hillary, I'm sure you have a boyfriend. And that was the first time anyone met Jeffrey. They were like, oh, he's real crazy. It's been a decade. People do that all the time. We bought it totally normal. Okay, well, Peyton, all she's ever wanted to do since high school is Mary Lucas Scott and have his baby.

And here we are. It's gonna kill her.

Yeah, what is that metaphor?

Girl?

I don't know the thing that you want is going to kill you? Kill you weird.

Set your sight's low, Like just be like Junk and just let life happen.

Just be along for the ride.

You know what I love And this This is what I was starting to expand on when I realized I was no longer even on the zoom. I was just talking to myself. But the container for this episode and probably the reason that I sobbed the whole thing opening the show on you, like Michael Keaton in my life.

And James did such a good job with this episode, like.

You can feel the container of Peyton's experience doing what you're doing on screen with that box for the baby, and I love that it turns in meaning for Lucas thanks to Jamie. He's like, your whole life's in that box. I wish I had one of those. And he gets it, he gets what you're doing and it shifts everything. But this this sort of sad happy duality you played so beautifully and I and I think you guys designed you know,

It was Peyton's saying goodbye to everyone, right.

Well, and that's why I kept sobbing.

I was like, oh god, it was a cool way to see everyone, to see like our friends from the River Court, to see you know, Haley and Nathan. If you ever want a mom and dad fix like, go to them.

Make sure you.

Pick the best best friend. These are the songs you're gonna listen to.

It really was.

A way for Peyton to touch on everything because I mean, in my mind filming this, let's just get to the behind the scenes start. In my mind filming this, they're gonna kill me, right, Is that what you thought, Colin?

Were you? Like, they're killing those chicks. She's dead me.

It's done, and they're letting her do it. You know, they're letting her do it poetically.

Yeah, we're just gonna put her on a raft, push her down the river.

She's gonna be fine.

Peyton is saying goodbye to everyone because we were in contract renegotiations and this is a this is a signal to Hillary, you're dead, babe, Like we're done.

And I was just you.

Know, you get the script and You're like.

Huh, You're like, oh, this is what it's like.

We discussed in the last episode how when Chad and I were shooting the last episode, that's when they announced that the show was coming back, but they had not offered either of us contracts, and it was basically them being like, we're good, you can leave, and we were just like.

Well, right, cool story.

So then, well I finished filming and I was like, you know what I'm gonna do in this situation. I'm gonna go back home to Stirling Park and I'm probably gonna go kiss some dudes from high school and have a couple of beers, and then I'm gonna figure out a plan. And so remember we had our Southern Gothic Productions, the production company that I started down there, Yes, yes, yes, and you had just made a movie with Nick Austin and I, you know, like we were doing fun stuff.

I remember when people hadlogs.

Yes, yeah.

So I was like, I'm just I'm going to post a vlog because news has been out that the show's getting picked up.

But I'm not.

So I posted a video that you know, has like so many views on the internet at this point where I was like, I have no control over the creative and I'm really sad. I love Peyton, I'm not coming back, but still watching the show.

It was a big deal.

It was a really big deal.

And it dispelled those rumors of.

Someone and someone had gone to the press and put out all these rumors that I wasn't coming back because I was demanding lots of money and being difficult, when in reality, I was willing to take less money so that all the other actors could get favored nations and get paid more.

And so I was but heard about that.

So I put out this video and then I get this script and I'm like, what, okay, fine, I'm gone, like what more do you.

Want for me?

So James is directing, and he's you know, twenty two, maybe twenty three years old.

If we were twenty.

Six when this happened, how much younger is James four four years?

Right?

All right?

So he's twenty two and he's doing a beautiful job, and I see how important it is to him and how much we need to keep the drama at Bay like, we just need to show up and do our jobs. And so Chad comes and he's ready to cry, and I show up and I've got to cry and everything seeing and our boss finally crawled out from under his rock and came to set in the middle of Peyton having to do the video confessionals, and it's not lunch break, it's not any kind of break.

And I hear, all.

Right, we're gonna be taking a twenty minute break, and I'm just like, oh no, and he calls me into the kitchen set and you guys don't remember that set, right, Yeah, the walls go up, they go up like nine feet, but then it's just open air so you can hear every conversation. I get my ass chewed for twenty to thirty minutes for everybody to hear you're gonna take that video down, You're gonna take how dare you?

You're gonna take video down?

And I'm just like, you know, I'm not I'm not gonna take it down.

I'm not gonna do any of it.

And so against the background of Peyton having to do all this very sad stuff is just bedlam going on.

And I was like, okay, all right, I want to go to the boys set. I want to eat pizza.

I want to pick up whatever paraphernalia the boys have on their set because everything seems so much safer over there.

Can I get a slice and a water gun? Like I want to get out of here?

Give me there?

It was crazy, and so watching this episode back, I'm like, we did a really good job for this much crazy.

We did a really good job. And you know what's wild? Like God, you talking about that? It gives me chills.

The public ass chewing is always did you ever get one of those.

Colored not not on that show?

They feel?

I mean, it's just just I mean what what what could I do on that show that weren't I mean.

No, but ask for more for some other I mean.

No, not like that? And how how she? And just how sorry?

You were a safe boy?

You sure were, And it was interesting because you guys were obviously having your storyline, but with all of us girls with you. This episode was really when it hit me that this was like happening. We were trying to to do things as a block. We were you know, we had learned, which was obviously the network's nightmare. We learned the lessons not to say that we were ever gonna get paid what they did. But like we were like, oh, if the Friends cast negotiated as a.

Group, well guys, we're just like friends would be on.

The coffee shop.

Guys. You know you would have been Chandler.

Okay, you're so funny, but like.

When things were happening behind the scenes and you were like, oh, they're gonna they're they're going to like blow up the plan. There are people who've blown up our plan, and and particularly for you and I like this is when you know Brook and Peyton and me and.

You like people as in other cast members that blew it up.

I'm just gonna keep it classy.

But you know, uh we we Hillary and I were so enmeshed, and during this episode it hit me and and being there for our boss saying all the terrible things in the open air that like I was like, oh my god, this is really happening, Like she They're really this isn't like a tactic that like is this really gonna be real? They're not really gonna let them leave,

And and yeah, like we didn't know if Peyton.

Was even going to live, like, you know, were they going to do the dirty thing? When like, you know, somebody on a cop show does something bad and then they get shot and they die.

Is that how it worked, Colin? Is that how it works? You get to kill a long and actors? No, No, I don't get I don't.

She doesn't kill anybody. It was almost me in season one of Lot about our banks and not not Adina Porter.

Who'd you piss off?

I've I've No, I didn't.

Good for you?

I did I did something that kept me around. I don't know good.

Yeah, you're lovely, that's what it is.

That's I'm lovely.

But isn't it crazy how your behavior behind the scenes or just like the circumstances you're wrapped up in affect what happens to your character because it's like do we want more of this?

Do we want less of this?

They kept Junk around for nine years, like yeah, Junk could have died at any moment.

We were killing all sorts of people.

Jump Junk almost disappeared like season three years season season two or three. And I found out because I went to I was going, I was delivering a grip or electric equipment equipment to one of the stages and was asking for you know, I don't remember how I got a script, going I get a script. I was looking and I started seeing that Fergie was showing up in episodes without me, and it was always smoking fire right,

The and there's this age difference, and you know, you don't really it's hard to sell you as things.

You failed two grades.

Guys, what do you want from him?

Yeah, there was trying.

Things are happening physiologically with you. No, I mean that was not said aloud, but but but I wrote back. I said, okay, I said, Okay, I get it. I said, but how about I said what I said, I've never been established as a high school student. I said, I've been at the River Court games. I said, you never see me in the hallways with a backpack, You never

I thought I was the weird dude.

By the way, I remember that guy from high school, the guy that buys beer for the freshman, right.

Yeah somebody's older brothers. Yeah, friend and yeah.

I went home for my book tour and he showed up and I was like, You're still buying beer forever?

This is incredible?

Is who you were forever?

Love that guy that hangs out outside the Kroger, just waiting for him.

Yeah, hey, you need something, you need anything? I was just going inside anyway. I never do the Kroger.

Oh.

I loved it.

Yeah, I know this that. It was saddish.

It was so everybody was almost crying. It was sad and sweet, and and it reminded me what a good what a good little actor. Jackson was too. My boys are acting now, and I'm trying, how old was Jackson? Do you think when we shot that?

I think he's just eight.

He was eight.

He was six when he started, so he was eight here, right, yeah.

Okay, yeah, but he was great and all that. And Hillary, Yeah, y'all you handled out just beautifully, especially knowing about this open air reaming that God, oh happened.

Well, you know what a terrible temper I have, And so just like you know how much strength it takes to not tap into a terrible temper, the restraint just for a Southern woman to not go nuts.

Especially when somebody's standing in front of you, like pushing the big red button.

Oh my god, sitting at that kitchen table. And I want to say it was Steve Allen again that like shuffled through the window was like a broom, right, just like just like get up, just to like be like, oh, I didn't know you guys were having a serious conversation. Like that was always the card he would play, like oops, I had no idea something was going on anyway.

Do you hear the head Taketos like service right now?

I mean, he was so wonderful doing stuff like that all the time. And so I got out of this ass reaming. But can you imagine if it had been any other director than James, like sweet baby James. No, they totally took advantage of the fact it was his first episode to be like, hey, we got to take a thirty minute ask chewing break can you just stand by and lose thirty minutes of shooting time.

Go outside and find something to stare at.

Yeah, here's a.

Ball, and then proceed as if it didn't happen and do the repair work that's necessary.

Yeah, go hit your mark, say the words now, good luck, we're on your tighter coverage. It was such a good learning experience, but he kept the I mean I think that would have thrown anybody else, and because he didn't have anything to compare it to, it was just like, Okay, we're going to go now, and was great. I mean, he was so calm that you couldn't help but be calm. All right, yeah, well that's done.

And I think there was really something too about having one of us sort of holding the container together during that because the whole experience was so surreal, and I think everyone was at different stages of like this isn't really happening right, like they're with us and and to it. I actually think it worked in our favor to have it be one of us running the show instead of like an adult who we had to pretend like the

Yeah for sure.

And then you know, even the conversations that Nathan like the boy relationships on their show.

I love so much, Nathan and Lucas together.

In the garage, leaning on the comet.

Broing out being guys? Is that how guys really talk?

Colin Just dudes being dudes, be and dudesby.

And dudes, except we sing it and you get to be more of a dude if you're in a gage.

Oh you mean non theater guys.

Yeah, I.

Mean you weren't a total jock growing up. You don't know how bros get down.

I played soccer. Uh uh, that's how bros get down.

Yeah.

Over the comet it is, I mean, I believe it. Yeah, my dad was a real man.

You only need one, you know, you just have that one shining example and then for the whole rest of your life you can grow out. And Nathan and Lucas had Uncle Keith who taught them to brow out.

Did you film with Craig?

I did rarely, I've filmed. He was I remember I was working Club Trick when he when he was dating what's uh his character was dating? Yeah jewels, yes, jewels. But yeah, Craig was great. Who was my guy on set?

Just like, who is your elder bro?

I mean Mike rail h He's not that elder. I mean I don't know, you know, I mean who I loved and I honestly got like the only person that that like made me a little nervous was Berry, like just cause you know, I'm like, that was the that was the face that I knew, and that and was the season vetter I'd loved Lonesome Dove and and war Games and and and Northern Exposure totally was like Maurice's here. They have gone forward, you know whatever?

I love?

Is there a prequel somewhere where you're playing Young whitey, Like, please, that's gotta happen.

I would please.

We're doing a prequel Young White and Camilla Camilla coming Home?

Oh yeah, yeah yeah.

Oh that's got my wheels turned.

And one one mentor Michael Dinner. I'm just I just put the name out there, not really I just it was just the one director that wasn't should.

Remember from our show or just in life?

Did he direct our show once? Didn't he?

I don't know.

I don't know that name. Well, then we've missed out. We missed out.

Okay, so we've got ten minutes left with you because you're going to do something.

Are you want to do something?

Fun?

I'm going to go it's uh my, my boy. Emmett is turning eight tomorrow, so we're going to his school and we were doing that slide show celebrating our boy at Montassory School thing.

Is he the one who's doing a Christmas Carol? Is he acting?

That was Louie?

They both that was Louie.

Okay, Louie.

Louie did a Christmas Carol? And Emmett right now is working on he's got a recurring role in this show that's shooting in Charlotte. He's got The Hunting Wives he's working on that.

He's doing that show Britney Snow, Yeah, he's Britney's son.

Fun. That's crazy.

Oh my god, I can't wait to text her after this.

You guys, we have infiltrated every production in the Southeast, like boy.

Exciting, really wild. So it was it was interesting watching Jackson on this and thinking about the parallels and Jackson having got started at six and and this stuff. Em it's done some like he's done an indie feature and the indie short and stuff, but this is like the first like big scale thing that he's done. And Louie has done a couple of things. Now yeah, and I don't know if it's the right thing.

And look at Barbara's kids. I mean, you and your wife are both actress like.

Barbara's kids like that that is that is that I think is a singular thing. I mean that they're they're amazing and and I think that that's and they they're probably an exception to the rule. Like there's just well adjusted, but so are you.

That's why everyone calls you for their projects because you.

You just bring up.

Yeah, you bring a little bit of glimmer to everything that you do. It makes everything feel full on our show when your character is there. And I know you lend that to other productions that you're a part of. And so if there was a storyline in this episode you want to junk to infiltrate which one we talked, We got Nathan with the NBA. We've got Brooke trying to get this teenager to be her daughter. We've got Peyton's gonna down her. Go if it loves you, it

What if we find out that Junk is Sam's dad?

There you go, that's it. That's all right, you just answered it for me? And who was?

So?

I saw in the credits of this that that Juliette Cesario plays Sam plays birth mom and Juliette Juliette was a theater friend of mine in Wilmington. But I never saw her in the episode, so they must they must have cut her.

Well, they show her in other episodes.

Okay, they only really show Sam and then me and Sam and then in this episode me watching her. So it's a lot of like looking in over her shoulder. There's a cute little diner scene of them sitting in the Dixie grill, but Sam's facing camera and you're and Juliette is facing Sam.

So it's a lot in the back of her head.

Sweet angel, she like really came in and did a lot of work to be in mostly mos scenes.

It's a missed opportunity, because all I could think is what a mom. This lady is making this child come alone at night, bring her own bags in, whear it up, pick her up?

This is like this is like before for Uber and before and when I was I was just wondering.

When you're like why didn't I drive her to that house.

You're like, bye, And she walks out the door, and then you see her at walking and You're like, is she is she walking?

Walking? Yeah?

By the way, I love that.

Brooks like, I'm gonna love you forever. You always have a home here. I'm always gonna do what's best for you. I'm like, but you can't give a kid a ride?

No, but like, who made this decision? Much money? Would you have paid?

Though? If when she got to the house, the door opens and it's Junk with his arm around her, Mom like this, I.

Know you come back to haunt me.

Yeah, I love incredible.

Yeah, it's my boyfriend. He brought some pizza over.

We're gonna hang out.

I mean skills.

Date got infiltrated by this Chuck kid who has such good comedic timing.

He is so funny.

Michael may Great, who went on to play Lee the brother of the youngest brother of Lee Norris and myself and blood dun't signed my name God Tim Tyson, the Tim Tyson memoir that got made into a movie with Rick Schroeder.

But then the Treo Gang.

But it was crazy. Yeah, like that we played siblings in this. We were horrible horrible family were the Teal brothers who were awful and racist and did committed murder. But yeah, but fun fact about checking.

I love that Michael May's start comes in this episode. And this is also the inception of I Got Chucked, which which really was, you know, a piece of verbiage that lasted for a long time on our show, and I loved it. And I love that Michael May just committed even as a little boy. He was like, you want me to be the worst, Okay, I'll do it. I'll manage to be cute, even with a little chucky ventriloquist doll.

You're gonna love me and you won't know why.

Yeah, and you and they were already they were like already kind of whispers of the what was what led up to a very special episode because you know, when she's like his mom, which was thrown away as a as a joke in this episode, but then yeah, it comes into this like he's from this horrible, abusive family and that happens a little bit.

Yeah, Alison Moune really did just make a little joke about drinking drinking mommy.

Yeah, we got to hang with this kid whose mom's not around, because.

Oh my god, it goes dark.

Beware the seeds that are sown in tree Hill, they grow and grow. All right, what else haven't we hit in this episode? How do we feel about Victoria?

I have seven pages of notes for this episode.

This episode was massive.

I watched it.

On set last night waiting for dark. So all my goats are on the back of sides.

I'm sorry above taking us down too many rabbit trails.

No, babe.

I honestly, this episode was so heavy and I really did cry a lot because I think it's every mother's or father's, just anybody's worst nightmare to leave your kids. And as a mom, and I must you know, I'm by myself a lot because my husband works out of town. The horror of having to leave a message like that

She needed some levity, sir.

Well, I'm glad. I'm glad to provide. Yeah it was. But yeah, there's like this show was like more intricately thought out than I remember sometimes, Like I mean I was, it was coming in and out as I did. I was not always aware of what had been happening for a long time, and I wasn't aware of the kind of the continuity that was going on and and necessarily

Nice baby.

Yeah, I mean we're old people now, so watching the show is so like what in the world, Like, what are we doing here?

And it's also that.

This was a one Yeah, Nathan Scott's going to get to the NBA.

I mean that was We always joke about how We're all doing different movies at any given time, you know, like somebody's doing a rom com and someone's doing a horror movie and it's all in the same episode. And so Nathan is doing like like a Jordan commercial.

He's like shoes sports.

Just remember the like like the Burgess Jenkins played the coach. And that was from my hometown from Winston Salem, North Carolina, went to went to Summit School where I went.

You guys knew each other back home barely.

Like we went to We went to school together. He was a little older.

Were you enemies?

No, but my brother created my brother, Jonathan Moss did like Burgess teacher still teaches acting and Winston Salem and stuff, and and was got some kind of higher profile roles than some of the ones that I started off getting. And my brother like would try to create this rivalry. He's like, you hear what Burgess Jenkins has done? Yeah, we're going he'd lived. We went to this Eastern party at a friend house and old family friends. He's like,

Please do have you guys seen each other at conventions?

Since no, no, he doesn't come.

We need to negotiate that.

We need to make that happen because I love a hometown rivalry.

Well, I can't fight him. He's much bigger than I.

Well, Patton Oswald and I are from the same town, and I'm gonna kick his ass.

So all right, I'll fight Burgess if you fight Patton.

We should have like a cage match in just hometown fights like Supermarket parking lot and the Kroger.

Yeah, but you're only allowed to open handed slap, like no punching.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a good rule.

Fights. Yeah.

God, this is going to be the best convention ever.

We adore you, thank you, thank you for giving us your morning.

We love absolutely what a joint.

That's sweet man, sweet sweet man.

He's a good time. The last convention I was at, I always end up in like a booth with Collins somewhere, and we like the pictures that show up the next day are just like what were we talking about?

Because the giggle fits, like the sweats and the giggle fits.

And just yeah, yeah, he's a good person to stay up and just like talk with till two o'clock in the morning.

Oh, I love that. I was on set. I got home at six point thirty.

This morning because we're on Avery nights.

And we hit that point around three.

Am where.

Two of our actors were outside like doing something really serious. We were all trying to be quiet upstairs in this like remote cabin house no and me and my sweet coworker, Amaya's mom made eye contact and we both just started choking on our laughter.

And then all the kids are done.

We were rolling on the floor just like crying tears.

Laughing, and I was like, oh my god, and it.

Really reminded me of like our overnights in Wilmington.

Oh my god.

Well, when we shot at the cabin, remember we would get in trouble for that. Paul director was so mad. We were like, God, knock it off. Giggle fits all right, So walk me through these seven pages of notes, because I know that you did your homework, and I want to honor your homework well, and.

I know you want to avoid talking about this episode because it's emotional.

And it's it's you know what it is. It's and it was nice to have culin here to kind of like soften it because I don't want to ruin it for the fan base and be like, this is the bullshit that happened.

You know, all of season six.

But I can look at it as a forty one year old woman and be like, that is a twenty six year old who's having to deliver some really serious subject matter for any woman at home. Like, we're also carrying the weight of experience. So anyone who's watching the show who's dealt with pregnancy loss or fertility problems, or death or like the loss of a mother.

I mean, we know how heavy it is toss so many.

Problems into that, and so you have to deliver a performance that's respectful.

I couldn't phone it in.

Meanwhile, I've got a grown ass man being an idiot, and you and I can't We can't look at each other without bursting into tears. Oh my god, Sophia, this whole episode, every time you and I made eye contact, it was.

Like, you just don't do it, don't do it, don't you do it. I know we started.

I remember starting to add that in because it was like they were just like, please stop crying, and we were like, but we can't. Yeah, because it is that thing like.

It.

I felt that that sort of visceral sense.

Memory watching it same because.

You know, for me playing Brook, she's like, my best friend can't leave, and I'm sitting there going, you're not really gonna leave, right, like they are fighting with us because you.

Know, again, it's been a long time.

And one of the things that really bothers me about any drama that ever went down on our show is we've all grown up. We ride really hard for each other. Oh yeah, you know. It really is that sort of family dynamic of like I might have been mad at this person or that person, or you might have been mad at this person or that person for something, but like we can talk about it. Nobody else is ever allowed to talk about anybody or will come.

For them, you know.

Yeah, And I want to be respectful of the fact that, like people are very.

Different than they were then.

Oh my god, we're all like totally grown up. And I think now, you know, Hillary Burton at forty one years old is on a job and they say, babe.

Ride's over right.

I don't care because I've got a husband and kids in a life. But when you're twenty six, the job is your life. And it felt so fadal.

Yes, but I also want to go ahead and say, like, you're you're being a big person. I know, I know we're all trying to do that, but it's not just because you have a life, and it's not just because we were younger and knew less then. It's also because what happened was just really dumb and it was very hard to have a plan amongst us and have that plan be betrayed. Yeah, like that was really hard and really hurtful, and to watch people.

Be casualties of it.

The surrealism of this episode was like, oh my god, our characters are what ifing and we're really what ifing. And one of the things I will say, like, looking back, I'm really proud of us. I'm really proud of the way we showed up. I'm really out of you. I'm

Us and the emotion in that dress.

Fitting scene for your baby shower. I was like, Oh, that's that's just us, Like we're doing a dialogue, but that's us, Yeah.

Trying to cope with this. And we were twenty six, like we were kids. This was wild.

We did have a boss who would come on set and scream at us, and the workplace is just not

Don't do that.

I want to hear from the crew. If it helps them to come in early tomorrow, I'll suck it.

Up and do it.

And if it doesn't, I absolutely will refuse because I'm now in a position of power where I can do that.

Yeah, And like you and I learned to show up.

For our people because of the way nobody can showed.

Up for us.

And I'm proud of of like a bad sorry, I'm really proud of like what we learned to make out of this.

And watching this.

Episode last night and like sobbing onto my sides and taking seven pages of notes, I was like, thank fucking god, Daphne.

Is so funny as Victoria.

Like I really needed the levity because I just cried at every other scene.

But like, yeah, I don't know the.

The weird way that our lives and our storylines often were blurred on our show, Yeah it is special, and yeah, I don't know.

This just made me really proud.

Well, because they ripped everything away from you in this episode, because not only is it like okay, oh my best friend is going to die, it's now this little actress that I have been really forming a bond with over the last has it been.

Year two years?

I mean it's been a long time, and she's Lee and Austin.

Who your character had been working with, is gone.

And just the level of loss, it's not just storyline, like when you lose a character, the actor behind it also loses a friend and a confidant and like a teammate, and there's real grief and loss there. And so we're teasing the Peyton loss, but the Sam loss is happening in real time. And watching Ashley and you cry together made me feel bad that you had so many layers

Yeah, and I will say, like what a testament to Daphne right, because she is so heartfelt and heartbreaking and manages to be so funny, Like I made a note and I was like I die over her being like, well, don't hate me, because I'm resourceful background checking this woman and.

We should we should.

Sue about this scary or her credits for all of it, like and and you know, the moment of like you are trying to shop with me, you know, it's I loved it because we loved that, you know, a few episodes ago. There's so much great humor, and I actually think that's what eviscerates you more in the end, when when I'm sobbing into my drawings of Sam and she is like she's been crying and she's trying to be there for me, It's like, oh man, this is this

You, you know, and.

Like I know the fans know that, like I know that they get the Easter egg, but I was just like that was for me.

That was big you to our boss.

I was like, oh you want me to be upset, I'm gonna I'm gonna put it right on screen.

And it was like, I don't know, this was.

Just this episode was big and it was heavy. Yeah, but it's another one that reminds me where I'm like, oh, I know why everybody always says that the female friendships were the love story.

Yeah, dude, we'd I mean, in these moments, we didn't give a shit about the boys, you know, like you're like Julian who, I'm like, I don't know, Lucas is in the homage, Like.

I don't It's whatever, They're somewhere, they're here. I just want to have a wedding.

God. It was so fun to see how proud Daphne slash Victoria was of you, Like watching her watch you. It's obviously, you know, the character's Victoria is recognizing something in her daughter that she'd somehow missed that everyone else can say but she had somehow missed. But I'm watching Daphne the actor also be like like, go, baby, go, you're doing it. You know, Brook's the moral compass of

It's fine.

Yeah, I mean it's not.

But I think you know to your point what you were saying to Colin earlier, like the distance is pretty profound because.

You look back and you're like.

Man, no matter what was happening, Like we did really good work. We made people feel seen, like this episode is beautiful.

I've had some days of work where I'm like, oh, I cannot muster up any Fox right now, Like I got the kids stuff, I gotta Warriort, Like I just really struggling. And I go back and I watch twenty six year old US like deal with Insanity, and I'm like.

Oh, well maybe we yeah, we can handle that, big deal, big whoop.

I is Hailey the only person that doesn't know at this point that Peyton's gonna die.

Haley and Mia are just like what, I don't what what do we miss?

Well?

No, because remember they come over, they bring in whenever that was a few episodes ago. Last episode, they bring the recording studio to you, and Haley's like Brook told me everything. Oh really yeah, And it's so weird because you guys don't talk about it, no, and they kind of pretend they don't know, but I guess I don't know because you know, our our boss loved to read the message boards and people were probably like, hello, why

But I'm like, wa, I'd almost.

Rather she didn't know at all, because why why.

Are we talking about it?

It's so bizarre.

Yeah, she sees the death box in the garage. Listen, She's gonna be fine, Peyton's gonna be fine. She's gonna be fine. I like that someone's compartmentalizing. That's an important thing to have in a friend group. Is the one person that's like, guys, seck it up, we're fine.

Well, anyway, Mia in this episode does the thing that you're always great at, which is like, absolutely not, We're not doing this anymore. You'll crack a joke, and she does it with her elf camera because we didn't have iPhones yet, and she's like, everybody.

Smile, no crying for the picture.

A number of selfies in this episode, because it starts with the selfie of Millie sending it yes to mouth was kind of an awkward selfie because we didn't do those back then.

We didn't have the forward facing camera.

Flip phone.

Yeah, we didn't have that, so you couldn't see what you looked like until you flipped the phone back around and saw your grainy little screen.

Loving it, loving it well. I love that Nathan is keeping basketball alive on the show.

I love that he and Haley are just steady soundboards for everybody else who's a freaking nightmare. I love that Peyton is really utilizing all the technology at our disposal in order for us to get ad sales, Like what do we think we got from like the camcorder and like the iPod touch or whatever.

That so funny.

By the way, one hundred Songs to Save Your Life is the name of the playlist that our boss put on that iPod he gave me after the maxim shoot. No, so even that was like A.

I was like, oh, I love that title.

No, we don't. We don't love that title.

Well you know what I will say too, Speaking of like when you need levity, I am so a They're just so fun to watch, but be I'm so thankful for the levity of Alison and antoine storyline.

Miss Lauren and Skills.

Are so fun to watch together, and a kid being their foil is such a good choice. It's like, I think that's part of what I really like about this period in time, if I if I take myself out of the reality of behind the scenes, I like that brooks whole storyline is intergenerational female family relationships.

Yeah, romantic.

I like that Lauren and Skills are falling for each other and the whole thing surrounds like her being this teacher so clearly she cares about kids and him wanting to be a dad, and then this, you know, nightmare Boy, Like it's it's like these atypical love stories. Yeah, and I really really I appreciate a lot of that, and I think that they they managed to put humor into an episode that could have just been so second all around, and James made it work as the director, Like, yeah,

There was a soft touch to.

The issue of how it is though.

It's like in our group of friends, one of us is thriving and one of us is dying at any given point, and that's just how it goes. And miss Lauren is such a welcome addition to our show. I don't think I remember. I didn't remember how spunky and like spicy she was. Yeah, and I love that she's this teacher that has kind of a wicked sense of humor and is not afraid to be frisky and this shit gets it.

Yeah, I like it refreshing.

So all of that just felt I don't know, it just felt so great.

Ooh.

And speaking of these sort of parental relationships, like in the way that you see these parallels with Nathan and Lucas and Brook and Peyton, I really like that when Brooke is also dealing with Victoria.

Yeah, you in your time.

Capsule for the baby are calling up your history with your own dad and your own parents, and the Peyton and Larry parallel to Peyton and Lucas's kid and Lucas, Like, I don't know, there was just a lot that felt really just felt really special.

It was a well written episode.

When Peyton is telling her child, Hey, I need you to be kind to your parent, I need you to be patient with your parents. Please love him for me, there's a part of that where it's like, is Brooke looking at her mom in a different light?

You know?

Is it like, do I need to be kinder to this person? And you know, acknowledge that she's putting so much effort in I.

Don't know what it's for.

I don't know what her motive is, but like, is kindness the way.

Are you going to make space for people to change?

Oh?

My god, kids don't know how much power they have over us. They have no idea.

I would love to know.

Because Bill Brown wrote this episode and it is so well done, part of me wants to be like, dude, what what phase of life were you in?

What was going on in your life?

Yeah?

Was he already able to do this?

I mean, I'm sure he was more mature than we were. Yeah. Really good episode, God.

Really really good episode.

For all the shit that went on behind the scenes.

I just want to make it very clear that I loved this episode for what I got to do with you, for what I got to do with Chad, for what I got to see you know everybody else do in their scenes, like being able to be a grown up and say that I love the product. I didn't love the experience, but I really loved the thing. Yeah, let's take it a long time.

But I think on that note, like it's not lost on me when we look back at our history, like we all went through a lot of really awful in our show, and we've protected it, and we've protected a lot of people because we know that the thing we made was really magical. And I don't know, I don't know what I want to say about that other than I just want to acknowledge it's not lost on me.

I know that's special. What's our honorable mention?

What's our special honorable mention? In such a big, wild, weird episode. I'm looking at my notes.

I mean, I was going to say you first of all, but I know you'll hate that because you don't like I don't like. So then I was going to say, maybe my honorable mention is Daphne trying to shop with me, because that was that was quite funny and I needed I needed the humor.

I have Brooks designs written on here. That meant a lot.

That was cool, That was really cool. Next episode? Are we having a wedding? What are we doing next episode?

I think we are babe forever and.

Almost always, let's go to the lake the party.

Do we have a wheel?

Let's spin a wheel? Now, sure to the lake, Let's do it? How about whatever the answer is, it's culin slash junk.

Love it, no, it is. This is actually so perfect.

This week's most likely, too, is most likely to crash a wedding?

Haven't we done that with him?

I mean it's Cullen, Yeah, and Junk would also do it. And I do think we perhaps may have all done that a time or two.

Wilmington that what is it? The Hyatt or the Hilton right there on the river.

Hilton on the river.

You hear a dance party happening, and it's like.

I can't not go in there.

Guy. You know what.

I was just reading this article yesterday on Bill Murray and his like, don't give a.

Magic We're getting there, And one of like the quotes.

In it from somebody who knows him, was like, oh, yeah, he'll if he ever sees a wedding, he's crashing.

Yeah yeah, So.

Okay, that's the phase that we're entering right now, is the wedding crash phase. Watch out, everybody, hold on to your dinner plates.

We're coming. We're coming, all right, We'll see you guys at the wedding. Hey, thanks for listening.

Don't forget to leave us a review. You can also follow us on Instagram at Drama Queen's ot.

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