Sitting In Grief ᐧ EP604

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Oh, I mean we both got on the zoom and took a deep bread. This is emotional. Yes, we're back, Season six, episode four, Bridge Over Fumbled Water. The episode aired September twenty second, two thousand and eight. There's a lot going on.

Yeah, it really like I don't want you guys to think this is gonna be like a really down episode of drama Queens. But I think we're both like recovering from this episode. We're gonna find our way through. But I'm a little well, I don't mean I'm low energy. I'm just like kind of in this state of I was lulled into a state of comfort and longing and grief like all at the same time, and I haven't figured out where to put it.

Well, I think that's a really good way to put it, because there's a lot of potential and there's still a lot of sadness, and there's a lot of really big themes being processed in this episode. Ye and I was gonna laugh because you know, it's for our friends at home. You've got Joy and I tonight. We don't have Hillary this week, and normally she's the person who will crack the joke you need that's like really inappropriate when everyone is crying, and you and I are both just crying.

It's okay, it'll be therapy. Oh all right. So after learning of Dev and skills a fair affair?

Is that what it's called?

Relationship? Whatever it is, Nathan tells relationship in romance, Nathan tells Dev she needs to move out, kicks her out. Jamie's insistence to visit Grandpa Dan brings Hayley closer to discovering his disappearance, and then she investigates. Brooke seeks counseling now that her mother has stolen her fashion company, and then goes to confront her armed literally that was wild. Peyton is excited to find singer Mick Wolfe in her studio, who also knew her late mother Ellie, and her biological

In fact so creepy. I'm like, don't you think I would have changed the locks after that woman tried to kidnap their child? Out did she get in?

You would think?

Oh?

Wait is I I did love the nod to fatal attraction with her picking up the hamster? Was it a hamster or a money pig?

Bunny?

It's a bunny? Oh, Chester's a bunny of course. Yeah, yeah, that was pretty funny.

Yeah.

I was like, oh boy, we're really We're just in it tonight.

This is one of the strange, unexpected things about our job here on this show, is on this show drawn queens that like, we all have a lot going on. I'm sure all of you listeners can relate to that. And you're not always in a space or in the mood to drop in and be emotionally present for something that you don't know what the journey's going to be.

Yeah, it's sweet. And I will say I realized that I had to surrender to it very quickly because yeah, with the opening of Nathan playing with Quinton in his head, seeing them together on the river court, it was so hard because I miss him already and I knew he'd disappear, and I didn't know when he'd disappear. So immediately I was like, no, don't go, and I thought, oh boy, here we go, and every one of them. Yeah, And I was glad that with you and Jamie we got

Been eight days days.

Yeah, so we could understand the freshness of it all. I like that we're not moving on from it too fast.

I do too. That was a bad habit that we would do a lot. A lot of shows would do that at that time, which I don't know why when they had twenty two episodes, because now things get drawn out for an entire season on a six to thirteen episode show. I don't know why they had to just feel like they cranked all the storylines out. But I agree. I'm so glad they took more time with this. I needed more Quinton.

Yeah, and I'm just glad we got We're getting to sit with it. I know. We talked about that last week too, that the funeral episode took its time. This episode, to me, felt like it really put its foot on the gas. There was a lot going on, but I do feel like it worked.

Yeah. The aftermath of grief, which or sorry, the aftermath of a massive loss. So living in the grief, but the fact that life has to go on and there are functional things that need to be done. Yeah, and kind of watching people live in the mundane while feeling such a catastrophic loss. Yeah, I think it's so relatable.

Yeah, well, because that's what it is, right when you're going through something like that, when someone that you love dies unexpectedly and you have to go to work and you're just like or the grocery store, Yeah, like what are we doing here? You look around at all these people and you think, like, what are you doing? Like, who are you talking to? What's making you smile? Everything is broken, But for most people, it's just not just

Life is fleeting. Our time here is short. To honor the fallen, we must live our lives. Well, this is Lucas's quote at the beginning of the episode. It's really good and the boys on the basketball team, Yeah, really jumped like that. I mean that's what got me. Like every time the Ravens were on screen, I was crying.

Yeah, and Quentin's mom coming in.

To don lewis God.

I mean, don is just so incredible. But as this character her coming in and reminding these young people, like you have to keep going and and you get to carry him with you. Yeah, it's such an important lesson.

Yeah, she addressed it like, don't feel guilty that you're playing without him or that you're leave. You don't feel like you're leaving him behind. We're actually carrying him out onto the court with us. Yes, you have to go out and play. That is the hardest, the hardest thing to do after using somebody after a big lost just like get I mean, get back up on the proverbial horse. It's is just such a not eloquent or sufficient enough metaphor for this, but yeah, it's I loved that she

It got to the core for me. I loved that the way that they had her speak those words was so specific, and I thought the choices were really meaningful because she says play your hearts out. She's literally saying like play the pain out of your heart, you know. And she says, don't feel like you're moving on without him, Yeah, you move on with the people that you've lost, And and it watching them play was powerful. I love that they that they lost. I thought that was powerful. They're

Hope that you friends out there have watched this episode recently. If you haven't, you really probably should just hit pause and watch an episode and then come back to us. You can relate and we'll all cry together. I don't know, I don't know where else. I mean, I have so many notes, but and I don't want to lead us. If you have anything, you want to jump in or say I'm happy to go anywhere. My next note is on Peyton, and then I have brooken therapy.

But yeah, yeah, I know it's hard to like no where to go when the theme is so big, but I do. I actually think Peyton is exactly the right place because you know, she she is the character who's also been through such big loss and.

She's on the other side of it.

Yeah, and Quentin is this shared loss for everyone in the community, and Peyton's loss was so personal, and with Mick showing up at Red Bedroom, this is the first time she's ever gotten to hear stories about her mom from her mom's community. Yeah, like she gets a window into Ellie's world.

I have a question, Yeah, did I miss an episode where we met this guy before?

No, he's a total surprise.

And is this a famous I think he's a cameo of some famous position or something.

And so the the only way we know of him is that Mia told Peyton she met a guy on tour who knew Ellie.

Right, so we've just heard about this guy we've never heard about, Okay, but.

We have no idea who he is, and so I think that's part of you know, we love a mister act on our show. I think part of the mister act is that Peyton's freaking out about this famous guitar player and o'hm, my god, what are you doing here? And I have, you know, records you've played on on my wall? And then it's like, holy shu, are you my dad?

Right?

Oh?

My gosh. And I love that they keep the mystery of it going. And I thought he did a really beautiful job, yeah, sort of dodging the question, but creating this this intimacy with her that really does feel quite tender and parental. It doesn't feel like some guy hitting on a young girl. It feels like something special. And I caught myself being like, well, is it special because he loved Ellie? Is it special because he's her dad? Is he going to answer the question?

I know?

Who is this man?

Is he just like a nice, kind man who is just being a good dude? Like I don't know, I'm thrown off. I know, well, first of all, I love her barging in while he's in the middle of recording, like she's so excited she will literally just interrupts him. But as they're talking in her office and he starts talking about Ellie. The look on Hillary's face was so it was just pure, little girl, tell me where I'm from. I want to belong to something, I want to have

And to see it in that moment and to see it's funny that you say that that it's the moment where he's talking about how much passion there was between Ellie and this mystery dad, because I thought you were going to say when she's laughing, like, you look like you've seen a ghost, and he says, I feel like I have that's your mom's jacket. You look just like her. And suddenly she looks like this little girl. Yeah that

You know?

And now how did you know my mom? And like tell me more? And I loved that. The way they figured out how to tie it all together was that someone gave him the benefit CD and so he got to read about what she said about her mom. It was such a special way to tie together the beginning of Trick and that album and you know we really released that album and all of these things. I was just like, got this. The storyline is really well done.

I like it and it makes me happy like that too. Yeah, just bringing bringing the past back in whenever they can. I wouldn't if they I wonder if they that just came naturally or if they all sort of somebody did a past like a when the script was done, like, just find a way to keep weaving past things in. Yeah, interesting to ask one of the writers one day. Yeah, I really loved that. It was a simple storyline. There

Kids?

You actually just tell me?

Yeah.

I loved It's good.

And I thought it was really interesting that when we when we finally get to the end of the episode and.

She just asks him, yeah.

Him saying what did he say? Wouldn't wouldn't that be something?

Wouldn't that be something? Wouldn't that be something? It would be something? That's what I mean. She's looking at him like, yeah.

I'm like, so is it a yes? Is it a no? I need more from you, sir, But I love it as a cliffhanger. I love him saying he's going to stick around and record. He wants to do a project with her.

Yeah, he's going to stick around. I don't remember where this goes me either, no idea.

I'm really really curious how long we get to keep him and what we're going to find out. I'm sort of afraid that it's not going to be him.

I don't think it is, isn't it Kevin Kilner?

Well, Kevin Kilner was her dad?

Yeah, right, right, Sorry, but I'm really wondering who.

I don't know.

I don't I think maybe it is, because I mean, this is Peyton's last season on the show anyway, so I think they sort of have to tie up this storyline. So maybe it is him.

I am so curious. I love when we get to be surprised.

Nick Wolf, Nick Wolf like Nick.

Yeah, and then you go in the completely not sweet direction of parental relationships that Victoria.

Yeah, they're working therapy. Okay, before we even get to Victoria. This is my least favorite kind of therapy. I'm watching this woman just well, first of all, she seems a little like Superior, which kind of is irritating to me, but I can get over it. But then she's like she's basically just it's the it's the rhetorical. I wish I'd written down one of her quotes, but it was basically like, that's very normal. It doesn't really matter what I believe, it's what you believe.

Like, yeah, oh I know what it is. I know I drove you crazy. Okay. Well, first of all, again the tie in that this was Haley and Nathan's therapist. Oh right, why did they make this woman play British? She's not. And that's why she seems sort of holier.

Than thou because it's very like, well, you know what happens to people is like it's so aristocratic and weird, is it? It's not how it goes.

I didn't I oh, do you feel sad about your mummy? Like it's so bizarre. But Brooke is sort of explaining all of these things, and it really does sound Shakespearean.

It sounds like a wild absolutely you know, drama.

She essentially accuses her mother of being oz, you know, pulling all the puppet strings and unleashing the flying monkeys, and then goes through the sketches and then this and the board meeting and you know, the whole plot, and then realizing how crazy this sounds because who has a family like this, But she really does. She says to the therapist, you probably think I'm crazy. And what I do appreciate is the validation she gets because she says, no, I don't. I think we have a lot to talk about.

Or something I thought she said. I thought her response to that was it doesn't matter what I think. It matters what you think. Isn't that when she said that? Or was it not? Was that earlier?

It might have been earlier. I don't know. She did say that at one point.

At one point I was like, oh, so bessive, aggressive. I hate that so much. You're like, I know it only matters what I think, but I'm paying you to tell me if I sound crazy.

Yeah, you know what I liked about that, though, I liked they did a couple of overlaps in this episode that I thought were really well done, because sometimes we overuse the device.

Oh yeah, cutting to the next scene.

Yes, and and we did two really good ones. I said, well, where should we you know, brook says, where should we start? Like the whole story or since I fired her? And then it cuts to the boys, you fired your mom? Yeah, and it was like, oh man, we did it really well in this episode. And I noticed two of them and I really thought, like, oh, okay, the writers are having a good time this season.

It's nice. So speaking of the boys, it was interesting to see Nathan. The storyline with deb is interesting to me, and I guess I get it because he's been through so much with both of his parents that to finally

But I will say, on the one hand, you go, this is the moment, and on the other hand, you go, that's the most human thing to do for this person that you really care about.

Yeah. Yeah, And so that's where I'm going. It's like Nathan coming to the realization that his parents aren't perfect, but like, his mom's not perfect, but she's still good.

Yeah.

Like, I feel like that was an important moment for him to get to that place where he wasn't just compartmentalizing everything about his parents. It was like something about Q's death just broke open this spot for him to just go okay eventually, you know, at the by the end, Yeah, to just go okay. I have to leave room for error. There just has to be room for error. And it doesn't mean that my mom it's not black or white. It doesn't mean my mom's a bad person. It's just

Well. And you know what I wish we were going to get a little bit of especially because we are acknowledging the complexity of familial relationships here. We're doing it with Peyton and Mick, We're doing it with broken Victoria Brook is finally going to therapy.

Thank God.

It's like we're digging into the realer stuff on the show. We're not just doing glossy relationship drama all the time. And I know we're not going to get it, but what I wish we were going to get too now that Nathan understands there's real feelings between these people, because look, I get the initial like my mom is sleeping with my friend. What's hell?

Yeah, it's weird.

But I wish we could also get to a place for debb where we got to understand a little bit of why, where we got to hear a woman say, yeah, I was in an abusive relationship and now I'm not going to date someone unless I've known them for a while, unless I've gotten to watch their behavior realize they're a good person, not that they're a narcissist who's trying to like mark me. And then, you know, we've talked about

Because really, like she's going, I keep picking these people, So something's wrong with me too, right, And.

So I it's like starting to see a glimmer of the acknowledgment of I don't want to hurt you and I want to be happy.

Yes, I'm like, oh man, I would.

Love for this to lead to more honest conversations between Nathan and Deb about Deb's experiences as the woman in

I do too. And it's also considering all that, it actually makes it bigger deal that she was willing to break it off with Antoine in order to have a relationship with Jamie. Yeah, this man, life is complex like that, Like what are you going to do? Your son gives you an ultimatum, like, I mean, yeah, you could choose

And I mean not to get like so deep in the weeds on the emotional end of it, and the you know, the the therapy research.

But you know, I love your research and I love it.

Even the fact when you think about it, When you know Deb has known Skills for so long, he felt like a safe person for her to like get back into her body with, you know, like a trustworthy, non threatening this person's not going to be violent with me. I can like have physical experience, you know. Yeah, And even without going into so much detail, Skills expresses that to Nathan. He's like, yeah, it might have started as a sex thing, but it's a whole other thing now.

Yep, come on, both of my best friends.

Yeah, like literally everyone, and and I just love that his response is like, cool, you're just never gonna stop trying to make me a better person. Okay, great, great, and you're like no, because you're kind of in an immigrant. It's like so sweet.

And Jamie's saying, I let you kiss my mom.

That mind My favorite line of the episode me too, especially because Nathan's trying to rationalize to a five year old why he's upset, and the five year old's like, well, they like each other and I like them both, so who cares? And he's like, yeah, but that's my mom, like an adult is saying this to a child, and the child's responses, you kiss my mom, Like he literally just owns him, like okay, dummy, It's so great.

It's so great out of the mouths of babes. I do love that. I love the fact that he just man, kids really can have a way of seeing things in the most simple format, and I think we need that sometimes. Nathan probably needed it here well, and.

Not to pingpong around like total adhd brain no dabt. It actually really makes me think. Jamie is so clear with Nathan. He's just like dad, like you kiss my mom. He just says the truth. And then you think about Peyton being in front of meck and she can't bear to ask him on that walk, are you my dad?

So scary?

But you see her wanting to, so instead she takes a deep breath and says, did you know my dad? And then looks at him, hoping that because she cracked the door, he'll walk through it. And isn't it interesting that we layer on all of our experiences, We carry them around with us for our whole lives, and as adults sometimes we just can't be as clear as we could be when we were five.

Man, I wish I could. I really wish I could.

It's just so I don't know. I love the sort of dichotomy of all of these parental relationships in this episode.

Yes I do too. Okay, Well, let's talk about the other parental relationship because there's so much Brook here to dive into. She goes to New York, shows up at Victoria's apartment. It's a glock down on the table. How does she even get to New York on the plane with the gun?

I got on an airplane on my workoutfit.

Your workoutfit?

I have no jacket. I have flown from North Carolina to New York without with no jacket. This was also good God, this was the season where Wardrobe loved to put me in vests. And I have no sunglasses on, but I'm I have two black eyes. How am I walking around New York City and all? I don't have a carry on, I don't have anything. I have a handbag with a gun. How did I get on a plane?

She's a Brooke Davis. She was just like, let me on the plane. It was her private plane.

I must have checked a bag and just left it with the doorman or something.

But you knew that.

You were just going to say, like you didn't think you were staying overnight, So why would you check a bag?

But you can't get on a plane with a gun unless you check it. I don't know it was. I just was like, how I'm going to suspend my own disbelief, but this feels ridiculous.

I just wish she had drove, Like why would it have been so hard for her to just get in the car and dress.

I don't know, maybe right, maybe she charted a plane. Maybe Brook has that much money.

I not anymore.

She gave away your company, well, she at the end of the episode. Yeah, but I will say all of the ridiculousness of it aside. I loved like just throwing the bag down, putting the gun on the table and being like we need to talk.

Like you had to commit to that material so hard. Oh huh, there's no there's no half assing that without it just looking. But you pulled it off. I mean I believed you. It felt very like, this is what you've brought me to. You've brought you have brought me to this place where I'm carrying around a gun because I'm terrified for my life. So here I want you to see for real what you've done to me.

Yeah, and it was interesting. I remember I remember wanting to make sure that it would feel honest, but it wouldn't feel melodramatic. Yeah, that's to do. Oh there's like such an opportunity to be like you've reduced me to a shell of myself, you know, and it's like, oh

What I thought was one of the things that was really interesting about that scene is that it is the first time that the roles were reversed and Victoria was on the defense. Every other time that I can remember Brooke and Victoria interacting, Brooke throws a fit sometimes, but Victoria always is more calm, always more I don't mean

Yeah, well, and so many things were so telling that her first question was did you go to the police? The first fear is what about the brand? What about the reputation? And brookeets to throw that back in her face, you know, because it's like, oh, you the pr spinner, you know, and it really is working, and she's really mustering up this courage to talk about how she doesn't want to be like her mom. She doesn't want to become this person, you know, she doesn't want any of this.

She doesn't say it in a cruel way. That's what's so interesting and why Daphne's such a great actress. She could have said it in a way that was mean and like a vendetta. No, she just that's pure narcissism. Again, just really believed that she was a victim, and she was thinking that this is going to help explain to you why why she treats you so badly. But it had the.

Opposite effect, which was really cool.

I liked that the story for Brooke was fuel instead of something that hurt her, like it frees her. I remember having this feeling in that scene. I have such sense memory of this one, like just shaking my head looking at her, being like, oh my god, I don't have to carry this anymore.

Yeah, that's what happened. My notes Brooke shedding, Yes, yes, she's shedding well.

And we talked about this a couple of weeks ago.

Yeah, bye, And it's so.

Important And I don't think I knew. I remember it feeling so good for the character then, but I don't think I knew how profound it felt in my life yet. Yeah, and it's cool to see it now. I don't know.

Oh and real.

It's heavy, but it's but it is freeing.

It's so freeing. This scene. It's one of my favorite Brook moments I think in this show, because you were you know, I know, we use this phrase a lot dropped into your body. But the difference here was I feel like you really allowed Brooke to not have processed

Yeah, Because the difference is it's not it's not an I win. That's it.

It's not I win.

I'm free, Yes, I'm free. Okay, it's it's the aha moment. Yeah.

She didn't need to win, No, she had already won. It's like the realization of like, oh, I don't this isn't even well, this is not even a fight, it's not even a thing.

And then the win for her is to say take the company. I don't want it. Yeah, that's where she gets to win, that's it.

Yeah, yeah, But I don't even think it started that way in the way that I interpreted that, And maybe you were thinking's any different when you were doing the scene, But for me, it still felt like, oh, I'm not done shedding hold on, this is the last piece I need to unload.

Well because in a way she realizes, oh, I'm going to cut the last cord. That's it. I'm just gonna I'm gonna cut it. I don't want it. And then she gets that last little moment she gets her win when she says congrats, now you got everything you ever wanted.

Yeah, like she had to just let it all go first, and then like, oh, yeah, this feels good. This is what I should have been doing all this time. And it goes to that quote that Lucas says on the basketball court, sometimes it's not about winning, it's about healing.

Yes, so good it does altogether, and that's what it is, and that I think maybe that's why the scene feels like such a big deal to me now, because that's it.

When you when you put down all the shit you're carrying because other people told you you were supposed to ah, or you put down trying to fix something with a toxic human because they're your family or your spouse or or whatever, and you just go like, wait, what am I doing this for?

What am I doing?

Is life supposed to be this hard? I don't think it's supposed to be this hard to look around and say I'm done. Now, I'm done doing the work. It's freedom.

I have said that for years about like, I mean, it's out there now. When I left the group that I was a part of and there was something that I I've people keep asking me like, was it so hard to leave with it? So I was like, actually, no, walking away was the easiest part. The aftermath dealing with everything is another story, but like walking away is the easiest part because when you realize exactly what you're talking about and you just like, oh, oh, I don't want to do this anymore. Done.

I was actually telling somebody the other day, Joy, you'll love it, because we've obviously both been through it. But I was saying that, like it started in the spring for me and then like through the spring and summer. Do you remember that Megan the Stallion song howt Girl Summer? Yeah, So like the group chat of like women going through separations and divorces, like just kept growing, and then at one point someone renamed it Hot Divorce Summer, and I

I was just gonna say, that's a TV show winding me down right, Like that's the problem.

I want to watch is like all the women getting free.

But it's like Hot Divorce Summer. Yeah for summer. That's funny. I know that at it, Like okay, by the way, it's total sidebar. But First Wives Club, Oh it was brilliant. But when I watch it, I was like, this is they were our age? That was that was supposed to be all like our age in that movie.

Which is no sense.

I know in the nineties were crazy.

The meme that goes around at Christmas, which like now is hitting the internet everywhere. That's like, if you're thirty six, do you realize that Kevin's mom and home alone the same age as you? And I was like, wait a minute, didn't she have like eight kids?

She would I could not.

It's so wild to me. It's wild. Okay. But the last thing I'm going to say bringing it all back full circle to this New York jaunt for Brook, I love the callback to our scene with Jamie when I get in the cab and the guy asked me where I'm going, and I say, take me to the airport. I'm going home to my family. Because Brooke is like, I just wish I had a family like yours, and he says, you do. Yes, you're my aunt Brook.

You're my aunt Brook. That's it. I'm going back to my family.

It really reminds you, you know, all of us, that you get to build it, you really do. And I think I just loved that. I was like, yeah, that feels really important. I thought the whole montage at the end was really good for everyone.

Yeah, I agree. The notes that I have on the end of this episode, aside from music in big capital letters, because the music is in this episode was again Lindsay Wilfington, so excellent. Yeah, is the gestures we make, the rituals that we have. There was something about like Brook getting in the back seat of the taxi. We've seen her do this in the back We've seen her in the back seat of a limo with Victoria. We've seen her in the back of the taxi and backseat of cars.

Well, and you know, we talked about this the other day with Robbie. But obviously it's so frustrating to have lost such an impactful character because a bunch of grown ups, like we're arguing about people's paychecks. But it really did allow us to open this sort of trapdoor to even more feeling and even more ritual. Yeah, and it created the container that was, you know, built out of such serious emotion that it sort of required all the characters

Yeah, but it's inspiring too. The ritual of coming together, the gestures of Quintin's not here to see them do that, it's not I mean, it's for him, but it's also for them. And the gestures of feeling. Oh, that was the last piece of skills, making the gesture to come even though it was he didn't do anything wrong and he knew Nathan was mad at him, and he just put himself out there and took the risk. Yeah. I just really admired that. I thought that was such a

Yeah, it's great. Yeah. And he shows up, well, he shows up to fill a void in Nathan's life and by doing so, remind him that he's going to be there for him no matter what.

Yeah.

And the and the sort of second layer of that is and I have been for this long, yeah, you know, for all for our friendships and all these things we do and have done all these years together. And I loved that. Again, sometimes you know, they to make time, they would cut the moments in our scenes. It was just dialogue, dialogue, dialogue, dialogue, And I loved that they didn't do that here. And they let the awkwardness hang in the air, and they let Nathan really look at skills.

Yes, the beautiful tapestry of life weaving together all the imperfections and just coming back to family, coming back to your emotional home. So good.

Yeah, you guys, so good.

Else to say? I really loved this episode. Yeah, it was such a nice, pleasant surprise.

We touched on Nanny Carey being in the house, Yeah we did.

Yeah, all right, she was great. I love Tori, She's always great. I liked that. You know, she came and talked to Deb on the bench. That was kind of funny. That was wild.

Well, and that's how she knew like Deb wouldn't be there. It was so creepy.

Also in what a weird way that she actually inspired Deb to make the stand up for herself a relationship, you know what. It just goes to show you like people can be used in any way, any shape or form.

It's yeah, someone's hero is someone else's villain and vice versa.

Hey, that's good, that's good. Okay. Listen from Mary Kate episode six oh two. You guys are talking about how it's a friend's job to tell Brooke you're not okay or to help her open up okay, as women who have grown up together and have a trusting relationship, do you have any tips on how to start the conversation with a friend. Even with that kind of relationship, it can be hard to talk about hard things. That's true, Mary Kate, that is true. Yeah, I don't know, pick up the phone.

That's hard. I mean, I think it can all be hard. But I think the best way. I'm just thinking about it because six oh two, you know, I think we're referring to the fact that, you know, Hillary was voicing that she was so frustrated. Remember that Peyton didn't say like, hey, you're obviously not good, Like what's going on? I don't

Yeah, because what's the worst that can happen?

Yeah?

You could be off base, everything could be fine, and then they just know you're a great friend looking out for them, or they tell you what's up, or they aren't still aren't comfortable talking, but at least they know that you are there for them and that you know it's up to you. Yeah, I think that's good advice.

Well yeah, and I think I think what it can do if they're not ready, like you were saying, is it just reminds someone that you see them. Yeah, And sometimes that's what we have to do, Like through strange periods, we just say like I see you, I'm around, I'll wait, and sometimes people have to say, yeah, I'm not ready,

So we think training our brains.

You know, we just think we're supposed to have more and more and more all the time all the time. Sometimes you just have to give people a minute. But I think a little reach out to say, like I'm here, if is a nice way to start. Yeah, and if it's slow, let it be slow.

Yeah, just you know, yeah, I agree. Just being there often makes such a huge difference. Yeah, that's funny you say life is long. It's because even though it does off, I always feel like, man, life is so short, and it is, you know, the core of the episode, life is Fleeting. When I landed in Nashville, the day that I moved to Nashville, me and Maria got on the plane, we landed here, I'm standing in the hallway of the airport and I hear somebody talking to me and I

Whel and we have to do an honorable mention.

I mean honorable mention, Like does Jackson not get the honorable mention for that line, so.

I got one hundred percent.

It was so good. All right, let's spin a wheel.

Oh boy, the most likely too get a tattoo they regret. I mean Haley did that, didn't she? I don't know, she sure did she? She got her a little tramp stamp.

I feel like that tracks. I mean, I feel like, I don't know, Haley and Lucas both got pretty bad tattoos in high school. Maybe that's really the lesson is, just don't get tattoos in high school.

I think that's a good lesson, you know, I think that's a really good lesson.

I like all the tattoos I've got, and as an adult, like the first two from like twenty three and twenty five, I'm still like, meh, they're fine. I can do without them. But yeah, I just feel like, wait, until you know yourself better.

Nobody's reckless than Nobody like me is reckless enough that they would wake up with a tattoo or get something that they regret. I don't know, I can't think of anybody well, no, I.

Mean, Hillary loves all her tattoos. I know Danille loves all her tattoos.

Yeah, I like mine. I was even thinking of Daniel because when when at Hillary's wedding she had the tattoo artist and it was like one in the morning and Daniel's like, I'm gonna get mischief on my calf and I was.

Like, yeah, I did.

I did stop her and looked at her in the eyes and I was like, are you ready to do this? Do you want a word on the back of your calf? Are you sure? She said yes, and she loves it so.

Great, loves it. I know, I think it's pretty great.

Yeah, I don't know. Well, I mean, actually didn't. Didn't Chad get a tattoo that they had to cover up because I don't know if he regretted it or not, but they did have to no, because it was like it was in some other language. And then it ended up not being.

On his shoulder. Yeah, that's where we put That's where we put Lucas's tattoo.

Yes, because wait, he didn't mean like did he thought it mean something and then it actually meant like fork or like silverware like.

You I think that's in the show. But didn't he have oh right, right right? He had a tattoo and then had to cover it with another tattoo, and that's why we had to put one over it. Is okay? Is that right?

Is right?

So? I think yeah? In real life? Okay. I mean, look, I don't know if he would do that today, but he's certainly well.

He didn't have a Haley around to pause him and say are you sure? Are you sure?

Oh? Man? I did just find this quote and I would love to read it. It's so good, okay. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries, avoid all entanglements, lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless,

Yeah, just give it a shot, all right, friends, Next week we will be on season six, episode five. You have dug your own grave, now live in it.

Oh boy, sounds harsh. Wow, that was a great episode. I had a nice night.

Thanks, I loved it. Thanks, see you later, friends.

Hey, thanks for listening.

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