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All right, gang, let's get into it. Season eight, episode eighteen, Quiet Little Voices their date April nineteenth, twenty eleven. Synopsis reads, The big day has finally arrived, and the gang gathers at the hospital to await the birth of Haley and Nathan's baby. While they wait, they reminisce about the memories they shared over the years. Boy do they And it was directed by mister sex Pylon himself, Austin Nichols.
I did not realize he directed this episode.
By the way, I didn't eat.
I really forgot, and I was watching it thinking who directed this?
This is lovely?
Oh my gosh, he did such a great job. Oh my gosh, there's so much to talk about with this episode.
I know that you're feeling a little.
Like you weren't given enough material, Rob, because it was like a three day shoot for the entire episode. We had no material, no new material. It was very little and the rest of it was flashbacks.
But I actually, really.
I think the fans probably loved this episode because this was obviously before streaming and so a chance to be able to revisit all of these meaningful moments, and I thought they were really expertly woven into the story and.
I loved it.
It made me really happy to watch all those old moments.
I loved it too. And the irony is well two things. I thought it was really well done. I think Austin did such a great job, yeah, truly weaving this moment where we're all sort of frozen in time in the hospital, with these stories that make these characters who they are. I think the device of having Jamie asking all these
questions is great. And it dawned on me when we first got on our zoom and you were like, well the sixteen minutes of material in this episode from Rob, I went, oh my god, it was I'm telling you. Two minutes before the episode ended, by myself in my apartment, I went Puerto Rico. I just like yelled it like mad libs because I realized I realized we needed so many extra days to go and shoot that episode.
Oh that's what it was.
Yes, and Joy, you had just had your actual baby.
Yes, so I was on my maternity leave.
And essentially they had to they had to save days so the budget from this episode could both give you time off and then the extra days could go on the Puerto Rico episode to get everybody down there to shoot that travel extravaganza. And it it. I couldn't figure it out, and then I did, and I'm just then I did I feel that I've solved a puzzle that matters to no one, but it mattered to me.
Yeah. And what Joy was saying earlier was I wasn't upset about the amount of material Clay had in the episode. I was joking before we started the podcast, saying we have fourteen and a half minutes of actual new content to discuss.
Oh, yes, sorry, I didn't mean to imply that you seemed unhappy with your own amount of work. That was not I knew what you meant, but yes, thank you for clarifying for our listeners.
Sorry say so. A couple of things. One for our fans that who aren't in the biz, A Bottle episode is it's sort of an episode that you have to catch up on the budget to save some money because you've maybe overspent or maybe you have a big expenditure coming up. So typically it'll be like a limited amount of the cast or or all the cast, but in like one location, so it's very easy to shoot. You can shoot it quick. This is the This is the
MVP of Bodle episodes. I have never seen one done better because not only is all of the cast in one location, but genuinely forty to fifty percent of the of the episode is flashbacks. I was watching this just going, this is freaking genius.
Yeah, and it managed to be good. It didn't feel like it was hodgepodge together yes because they had to. It actually felt really organic to the episode to me.
Yeah. And I got to say, as someone who is not familiar with the earlier seasons, I freaking loved it because the first time I cut to a scene of Nathan and Haley and I was like, oh my god, they how did they make James look so young? And it was, oh my gosh, no, this is actually just ye baby, James and baby Joy, Like, yeah, it was that? Was that your guys' first kiss? That a dare you to?
Yeah?
I was, dude, you were so good in that scene. Joy. My main takeaway was for the age you were at and what we were doing. I just thought like you were so steady and like grounded in yourself and you were doing almost nothing while doing so much. But I was just I remember just thinking like wow, at that age, Joy was really crushing it.
Thank you. I really appreciate that.
I have a I have a hard time watching myself, particularly at that at that age, and couldn't you know, I know, I notice all of the things about myself that I don't like or didn't like, and it's hard for me to just get past it and like watch the scene and appreciate that.
So I take that to heart. Thank you. Yeah, it was. It was.
It was fun to shoot all that stuff, but really fun to watch James for me, in particular because he's where he's grown, how he grew on the show as an actor, as a human and as a character. Watching all that play out, he was sort of the secret star of the episode for me, just to see to see that journey, even I love that they showed the super vulnerable moment that he had with her in her bedroom, coming in after the game and just saying like, I need you, I just need a hug, I need to
be I need your comfort. It was so rich for a high school for a high schooler to do that high school boy, and for a young couple to understand each other on that level. It was just really such a nice reminder of where they've come from.
Yeah, and it's especially nice to see that growth, and I like that it's as impactful for us who essentially, like the viewers, have seen all of it, and Rob, you're like a newer viewer in a way, you know, you got to see things you didn't know. And when you think about it in the story arc, in terms of all of us really thinking that when we wrapped season eight, we would be wrapping the show. Yeah, it's such a great device to remind you of how far
these characters have come. I think particularly the flashback devices with Nathan, because James was actually so young. Not only has his character come so far, but James just as a man looks so different in season eight than he did in season one, and so in a really interesting way, like the evolution of his character, but also him growing out of that teenage boy youth really marks time for us as viewers in the flashback in a way like, look,
I thought all the rest of ours were great. I love being reminded of the moment with Haley and Quinn. I love going back to naming you Brook, like all of it is so sweet to see.
But I.
Think it becomes doubly effective as a device in a way just because of where we found ourselves in the trajectory of James's life. Yea, it's really cool. And to see him then be this very still father figure who's not doing a lot, who's just reflecting and sort of explaining that to a child. It's really special and it does give you that sort of I don't know, it has like nostalgia that made me feel ready for the end, even though we wound up getting this bonus of our ninth season.
Well, it connects.
It connects the audience by reminding them of everything they've been through with the characters without them having to think too hard about it.
Just it.
It creates the same moment as looking through a scrap book and seeing, you know, here's of old friends and it doesn't take a lot. You don't have to live through, relive through all of the moments that you had. You just need these snapshot moments and then you look up at the person in front of you, seeing how they've aged and grown, and it immediately endears you and you
feel the sense of loyalty. Like I think it was so smart because it created such a bonding experience for the audience subconsciously, I think.
And it was so funny to that point that we're seeing all of these flashbacks where it's like baby Brook, baby Hailey, baby Nathan, and then we have a flashback with Haley and Quinn and it's like Quinn from six months ago.
And yet there was still a hair parade like every all the different colors, all the different cuts, all the different everything, like the fact that Quinn was a brunette when she started on the show, and yeah, it was only you know, six months prior or whatever, a year or so, and how much that's changed. It still kept the uh, it kept the nostalgia going.
Yeah.
But yeah, the James of it all was was awesome because you really do see how much he grew as an individual, and alongside the character of Nathan. Yeah, that was great, And like I said, it was fun for me because it was all stuff I had never seen, so it was like, wait, that's how Haley and Brook met. Wait what It made me very interested to, like, I gotta I gotta go back and see where this all started.
Yeah, it's so sweet.
I love seeing so much of this through Jamie's eyes too, and just the that was a nice kind of mirror effect that you are watching all these old memories, but you're also seeing everything through the new, young perspective of coming into the world. All of his narration was really sweet and funny.
Yeah, and it was sweet that they The episode was bookended by Haley than giving the same voiceover about you know, babies are God's way of saying He's not given up on us yet, or something to that effect. Yeah. Sweet, nice sentiment. And I love that we got to see the myth of the nursery room window viewing window as well as I mean, are the eighteen hundreds with the delivery room that has stadium seating above it with a window.
It's so weird. It's the same by the way, it's the same window when Peyton drops after the Peyton and Lucas wedding, and then all of us appear like ghosts out of mist. There's just more and more of us up in that viewing room, and it's.
Like this operating window.
It is simply not allowed. It is not allowed for civilians to be in there. There might be an operating theater at a teaching hospital. But let me tell you something. When my very best friend on Earth had to have emergency knee surgery, and I tried to convince the surgeons at and Yu Hospital to let me scrub in and observe, and they said, ma'am, go sit down, And I said, then let me sit in an operating theater. There has to be there has to be an operating room with
a theater here. This is a teaching hospital. They were like, ma'am, get out, just get out, like we will. We are going to removee. Neil woke up from surgery and was like, you crazy bitch, because I was sleeping in a chair next to her bed, and the nurse was like, we tried to make her leave. We just eventually we gave up.
And I am telling you from personal experience, I know that there is no human they are going to let observe a surgery, a delivery, no matter what medical terminology you know from at one point or and they're playing a doctor, they don't care, and a surgery.
Would be the most life A delivery. Yeah, are you sing kidding me?
No?
Hap to the oh in a room that's covered in tile. By the way, when have you ever given birth in a room that's covered in time?
By the way, it looks like we're at the morgue. It looks like ten years ago we built a step for a morgue and they were like, we don't just be cheaper to reuse that. It's so creepy.
Also so weird that the guy comes in, the dad comes in, He's like, oh, I'm the baby's father, and never goes who are you guys?
Yeah. Also the fact that that means that literally just anyone could just happen to stroll in and watch someone give birth.
Yes, because by the way, Chloe is supposed to not know he's there because she thinks she's been abandoned. The whole thing is that he doesn't alone she's having a baby. She took a year abroad. I think she said.
I was like, so she told her parents. I think, yeah, that's.
Oh, that's right. So she has this whole concocted story keeping this a secret, and then he shows up unbeknownst to her. But it hangs out with Julian all night, Like what I mean, hats off to that actor and hats off to Austin because they made it work. You know, they took this insane scenario off the page and they made it really heartfelt. And I thought that that young man did such a good job playing so lost and so unsure of what he was doing and so overwhelmed.
And I liked getting to see in the same way that you see Brooke be maternal with Chloe, helping her through this. I liked getting to see Julian do that, even for this person that he thought was a stranger in the hallway. It's a very sweet moment for them, and it made the surprise quite a reveal. But my god, it is so hard for me to get past the shenanigans of the theater and enjoy the episode because I'm like, this is so silly. Kind of takes me out.
That little bit that was a rough one.
I actually wonder for our friends at home. I really am curious. I wish we could take callers on this show, because I'd love to know if it just drives us crazy as actors who are very used to you know, sets, and what feels like jumping the shark or is the audience also like, no, this is absolutely ridiculous. We feel the same way. So if anyone wants to write in, I would love.
To know comment on this gang because you don't have to be in entertainment to go. That doesn't exist in hospitals, right, Like it's not inside baseball. That's just anyone who's ever been in a hospitals like what? Also, no other show is even doing that because again, it doesn't exist, not real. It's the strangest thing. But speaking of really good performances, and just to jump ahead, a bit Levin has this incredible moment when Brooke and Julian walk into the room
and the baby is born. There is the moment where you can tell everything has changed for her. She wordlessly, just with her eyes. You can see her say like I'm sorry, no it's not yet, everything's changed.
And you see it in your eyes, Sophia, like the shift that you receive.
That Yes, it was such a powerful moment. The storytelling happening between Chloe and Brooke was, and then.
Julian realizing it too and turning to Brooke. I mean that moment I was. I actually I don't cry a lot watching our show because I just feel kind of removed from it, and but it's also so familiar that I know a lot of it already, and I cried. I just sat there and was like, my heart broke.
That was rough. Yeah, it's heavy, and.
You guys performances were so beautiful. Yeah, that's what made me so happy about Austin as a director that he.
Was like, who directed this?
Who allowed the actors to sit there and do their work quietly? God bless whoever allowed the actors to do this, because it's not common on our show.
And then it was just so sad and painful, and it was such a great shot where it was like it was sort of over everyone waiting for the news about Haley to in the background Brooke and Julian who were obviously super upset, and then you guys having to pull it together and then walk over with the secret which is like you are crying because your heart is broken, not because of this.
Oh oh you did that so well, Sophie. Oh my god, speaking.
Yeah, it's so devastating. And it's really interesting because I remember how impactful it felt for all of us at the time, you know, particularly just existing in a world where you read about people's stories. You know what people go through, you know, trying to build their families and all of these things. And it's crazy how how well I think it played. And I remember it feeling special then and now, like just by a nature of living longer, you know, by nature of all of us being in
this phase of our lives. It's like it's even heavier to me. And it's just there's there's elements of it that, you know, the overarching story that I think we probably could have done a bit better with. You know, some of it feels a little talking point y, But my god, I was like, whoof this hits me even harder now, just all the things we've seen.
I'm just so glad it wasn't It wasn't talked to death. There wasn't a page of explanation. It wasn't me too, Like, it just wasn't overdone. The simplicity of a broken heart doesn't require a ton of explanation. I everybody knows what that feels like. And you just need to see the exchange between the artists.
Yeah, emotion and.
I think too, you know, to your point about the way it was directed, us being allowed to be in it and instead of you know, doing the fast pushing or whatever, everything just crept up on you. You know, the camera moved in slowly and you start to wonder is it slow motion or is it what's really happening? And it's just what's really happening. But everyone is having it hit them in that way where it feels like time slows down.
Yeah, but it wasn't just that moment. It was the whole episode, like the whole storyline. I should say, in particular, because Austin was great about giving the appropriate tone per scene depending on the storyline. But for you guys, when Levin is in the bed and she keeps saying I
just couldn't do it alone. I couldn't do it alone, he lingers on you just a little too long, and it gives the audience the information they need, Like that is kind of an interesting thing to say, is that the only reason you're going to give up your child because you're afraid you can't handle it on your own.
And then you start wondering is that.
It is Brooke going to say, hey, if that's the only reason, like you are strong, you are that. I don't know if that's really the reason that you should, like, if there's a whole lifestyle, if you know, there's so many factors, But if it's just that you're afraid you can't handle it, it just puts Brooke in such an awkward position. And I feel like I could read all
of it on your mind in that moment. And then we cut away to something else, but it was it was a foreshadowing that there's something else coming.
No heartbreaking.
I love in the There was an earlier scene with Nathan Haley. It's when when you're going Haley's going through contractions and and you're like, just just tell me a story, and he's like, I'm I'm blanking and she's like, just You're like, just tell me any story in the history of the world.
He's like about three little pigs. I don't know why.
Yeah, it was so good man. And then the other funny contraction moment that made me laugh was and and listen, there's a there's a there's a lot of ways in which this could just could happen. But in the moment,
I went, ok, this was written by a dude. When Levin is on the bed and Brooke is there and she's like, she goes she's obviously having a contraction, but she goes, ooh contraction, And I was like, you know what, I uh, could you imagine like in a war movie if someone gets shot and they fell down the battlefield and they were like, oh, good shot.
Like never, It's like.
You know again, I'm like, it doesn't take me out of the scene. But I laughed, going like I've been two deliveries with my wife and I never once heard her go ooh contraction. It's like everyone knows why every yeah.
Yeah, well, And isn't it ironic that we were allowed to allow so much We were allowed to have so much of the communication in this episode be without words, and then literally the most obvious word is written as dialogue for an actor to perform.
Yeah, Hi, have you ever have you seen or heard? Have you heard the story about Kevin Sorbo he played Hercules? There's a clip. Everyone should do this, do yourself a favor. Everyone, Oh boy, go on YouTube and uh just search Hercules. Disappointed.
So what happened was apparently there was in the script there was a line he was supposed to deliver, and then they had, like they do often scripts in parentheses, a word to sort of a case the actor doesn't know, like the tone of it, and the word was disappointed.
No.
Watch the clip because old Kevin sorbo no. He's like, I don't recognize this world anymore and he takes a dramatic pause and he just goes dear saw boy Dad stayed in the episode. This was like that where it's like they were like, we don't want to just to say oh and not no, so let's put in parenthes. It's a contraction. It was like that moment, Oh contraction, Oh my.
God, that's great.
That's hilarious.
You know he was screwing around. He had to have been.
She was, that's hilarious. And also like, it's even more funny that the editor and the producers were like, let's just keep it.
Believe it.
Yeah, he owes me money, keep it in. There was a lot of fun in this episode. I again I saw the writers writing to Rob as opposed to Clay. When we get to the we get to the hospital, I'm like, I got snacks. I got this, I got comics. There's something, and then Jamie goes, oh you got comics.
And Clay goes it was my favorite Rob.
They're called graphic novels.
Yeah no, you said there that you said graphic novels, but you said it like you were so disappointed in him.
So I made it so.
Great because this was a struggle in my personal life because I read a lot of comics, and I had to be like, I read graphic novels because at the time I was turning thirty, and it felt just a little bit weird to say, like I like comics, you know.
Made you feel like you still had your head gear on.
Yes, yes, like exactly. It felt like a bit more of a grown up when I called them graphic novels, when let's be honest, it's just a couple comics glued together.
It's so great.
I loved that.
I loved just giving you some quips with Quinn too about Uno in the Game of Chance and all of your little banter. That was really fun. It felt so natural. I loved that the saltine stuff was so great. Every line you said was just NonStop spittle, like a mouthful of powder.
It's so great. Yeah, it's fun.
I wonder how many people went to their cupboard and got saltines out after the episode and sat with their friends and tried to do this.
Well.
This was one of the early challenges because by now we were on social media. I don't think Instagram existed yet, or maybe it had just started. But remember we all we just started to get on Twitter around twenty ten, and I remember it was the saltine challenge was going around, and it's ironic that we couldn't say that in the episode because then we would have had to pay I don't know whatever that company is, Nabisco or whatever, because
saltine is a brand. So you had to be like, do you know you can't eat six crackers in under a minute? Because it was the saltine challenge.
That's oh right, crackers.
Also fun fact, So do you know that you are the person who signed me up for Twitter? That tracks you were on it. I didn't know what it was. I was obviously on the show, and you're like, oh, yeah, you got to get in this thing, and you like actually helped me set up my account and then immediately like followed me and tweeted out like Robs on Twitter on Twitter and I got a jillion followers and was like,
what the hell just happened? So you are the one who held my hand into the world of social media, so thank you and also shame on you.
Well, I think you were the first one on our show to have it, or you were like right on top of that.
I was, well, first of all, rub You're welcome, an I'm sorry. Second, I was really and here's the irony, right, Like, there's nothing I like to watch more online than videos of people cooking. But I remember when Twitter first started, I was like, who gives a shit what anyone's eating for breakfast? Lame turns out me I do. I give in a major way. But at the time I was like,
this feels so stupid. And then when Deepwater Horizon happened, and I, you know, had been working with all these incredible climate lawyers and activists who were all based in the South, like my friends in New Orleans, were like, we went to golf shores and they are not telling the truth about this disaster on the internet or on the news. And I was like, well, we have the internet,
so maybe we should just do it. And Austin and I flew down there with all the people from Global Green and like essentially live streamed what was happening with like our friends, you know, fishermen and all these amazing people down in Louisiana who were like, we need help here. This is an ecological disaster. And it's so crazy to me to realize, like we had no idea what we
were doing with social media. We just were like, well, this feels like a pretty good way to get information out that people can't censor.
Hello, and now used to be fun. Remember it used to be.
Just like a place. It wasn't necessarily a weaponized cesspool. But that's really I'm sorry, comes in rob that You're welcome. Was when it was cute and fun and we could joke about snacks.
It started off as the peach Pit, and it quickly devolved into that underground fight club in fight Club.
Yeah, now it's just the Hunger Games, But at the time it was adorable and I do recall how excited we were about some of those early challenges and it made it into an episode though you know, we had to lie about the said crackers.
Were either of you either, did either of you ever accomplish this task?
Like is it. Is it accomplishable? It's not doable.
Apparently. The issue is I suppose you could cheat and like swig some water right before, but saltines are so dry that you run out of saliva, like your mouth can't make it fast enough.
I say this all the time because people ask like my favorite scene, and this is one of them. Every single take, I went full tilt, full tilt, Bookie. I was trying to do it. It wasn't a bit When you see me spinning out crackers, that's because I had a mouthful crackers. Like that was me really committing. And I take food challenges very seriously. I did not even come close. No, it is so deceptively hard.
Wow will it work?
We think with rits or like something else or really we know wheat thins.
It really has to be salted.
Wee thing for sure. A week and you're fine because the saltea is just it's just it's salt and basically it just SUPs up anything liquid or liquid adjacent immediately.
Yeah, because it's dry, especially because I think it's made to be that way for soup. A trisc it now has a nice oil base and you could probably get six triskts down triskits with all that wheat the way, I think much more likely than a saltine.
I feel like we need to try this.
Our next episode should just be us eating seeing comedy snack foods we can eat six of under a minute.
Also, I actually think we should just do this at the next convention line everybody up at a table and see what happens. And it's like maybe every I don't know. Every two hours we come back for another cracker, which undoable.
Oh my gosh, this is such a good idea. Are you are you listening Friends with Benefits? This is your next activity, Ray, get on it, let's go. That scene was so much fun. The banter with clan Quinn was so much fun. I love that we've now got to see them be light and silly two episodes in a row. So I think, at least for me, that's when claan Quinn shine the most.
You know, yes, for.
Sure, you've finally just got to be happy.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's nice to see the ease and the humor with you guys, and you know, even just her running around the hospital snapping photos. It's like you remember that this is a joyous time and it does feel like for you too, especially kind of a breath of fresh Yeah.
Well, because yet we had like two episodes of sort of fun stuff and then it was just right into like so much admire for a season. Hey, what's the Is there any backstory to why Nathan collapsed during the game?
Oh yeah, he was taking performance enhancing drugs in high.
School, so Dan was lying when the doctor was asking him questions, and Dan Dan was being all self righteous he.
Knew I think Dan knew, yeah, and he was like trying to get the doctor throw him off the trail because he didn't want that on his record.
Oh interesting, Yeah, but I don't remember that moment of him like stroking Nathan's forehead with his knuckles before he woke up.
And just being all sweet and fatherly and look on James's face is so great, like why are you being so nice?
Yeah?
Hurry ah.
It registered for me almost like going, am I dreaming?
Yeah?
You know what is going on here? It was nice to see those shifts. I mean, Dan is Dan, but even to see him a bit out of character to be reminded of when Victoria really shifts.
Yeah, you know it.
I remember being so moved by watching that moment in season six, but seeing it again, I couldn't help but think, Wow, it's really rare that we see an adult admit to their adult child. I was wrong. This is the lesson that I've learned. I wish I'd learned it sooner, and I don't know. Something about just seeing that in a flashback really hit me. I love that they gave that to Victoria.
Was that seen from season six? Hawd You have been right, because it felt like that was Victoria changing, But I hadn't seen that, which means it had to have been you know, I know she wasn't anything like that seasons whatever, you know, one through five or whenever she came in.
Yeah, it's it's nearing the end of season six because she encourages Brooke to go after Julian, and then it's the end of the season when she goes to his set and you know, admits that she's gonna that she does love him and that she's going to let herself. So it's it's kind of special to see the revelation again, even though we've seen it. You know, it's been two years, you forget, and it's it was cool for that to
kind of be a button. I liked that moment between them, as Brooke is trying to imagine, you know, what a different kind of parent shall be, what she will do Differently thought it was really effective.
Because they had so many scenes to choose from. I mean there were there were a lot of scenes where Victoria had changed and was being more generous or kind, and I really liked that they did choose that one, and the flashback of the connection point between that and Brooke talking about exactly what you're saying, the kind of method that she wants to be. It was a really it was kind of a perfect one for them to choose. I think there were a lot of those mirroring moments.
What was the incident what happened to Haley that put her in the hospital when Nathan was so worried about her?
I got hit by a car because Nathan was doing he was always performing in performance enhancing drugs, and then he got involved with a bookie and then look at Rob's face. Yeah, and then Rick Fox hit me with his.
Car stop it no no freaking way.
Yeah, oh yeah, meaning to hit Nathan, but winds up hitting Haley and she's pregnant.
And she's pregnant. That's right, I was pregnant, and he.
Wants to hit Nathan because Nathan didn't throw the Ravens game and Rick Fox and his his his crew were betting on it.
Oh my gosh. Yeah, that's incredible.
So welcome to another storyline that would have had us landed on the soup. I probably did.
I'm sure it did.
What's so hold on?
What?
Like, what were the side effects of these performance enhancing drugs? Because this is like it made him cramp, It made him so dehydrated he passed out, which what? Okay?
And aggressive?
He was like a roid Ragi type thing.
I think it was very It was like a you know, speedy I don't know, like some kind of upper right that just made him unstoppable.
Okay, he found some old fen Finn. That's a reference that two percent of our audience wonderstand. That was a a diet drug that was very hot for a minute in the what late eighties early nineties, and then whoops, see doozles discovered it was killing people and they quickly took it off the market. Thanks gosh, did I just bring the podcast to a screeching hole by reconcing failed medication from the late eighties. That not why everyone tuned in today. My bad.
I'm also laughing because we are never short on things to talk about. And I'm looking at the clock and I'm like, I mean, we've talked about the entire episode.
Bags like my notes, app, I got nothing I have to same.
I'm like, we went through them all. It's the shortest amount of notes I've ever taken on an episode. And I don't know what to do.
We'll let's do our listener question because conversation to us listener.
Question is is we don't know who it's from, but hello to you. Haley tells Jamie he's not allowed to have a baby in high school. But what is something you did in your life that you wouldn't want your kids repeating? Oh, fun, fun question, friend. Quite a few things and a superb super.
Don't want my daughter to join a cult?
Yeah, good luck following that answer either of us.
There's just so many things.
That is truly one of the if you can get over yourself, it's one of the joys of parenting, the opportunity to release the shame by continually talking about what an idiot you were and how you can prevent your child friendly how what you've learned, and and just being able to be honest with them about it instead of tiding it like previous generations used to do just culturally, like hide all the things. Yeah, it's a real pleasure, And now I have to say absolutely.
And I also think there's something. I don't know if you guys feel this way, but I know I certainly do. I've really noticed it in my life in the last two years, where to your point, I'm not embarrassed by anything anymore, right, I'm like, if anything, this is just pure comedic fodder, like the insane things that have happened in my our lives. You have to laugh. And then when you realize, you just find your own past and
your own embarrassing things. Laundry lists so funny, you're like, oh cool, yeah.
Wow, Yeah. I would say suffering in silence and oh and playing small, because those two cost me a lot a lot. Playing small cost me a lot emotionally and in terms of growth and figuring out who I actually was, and suffering in silence just brought a ton of pain and time that was consumed when if I had known to ask for help, and then it was Okay to ask for help, I would, yeah, save myself a lot of tough seasons.
Yeah, I feel that too. Thank you for that.
I think a lot of people can relate to that.
And Rob, I think that's a big part of it too, Right, is like if you really follow the trajectory of maybe some of the things we wouldn't wish on our kids, I think that's where they start very often, is when you suffer something in silence, when you're trying to be mature or sort of prove that you can handle it, or you feel a little ashamed to admit you need
some help with something. Yeah, that's kind of how the train leaves the station, and then by the time you realize you want to get off, it's like speeding through the mountains. I don't know why. Suddenly I've turned this into like the Bucky scene and you know, the Marvel universe, but you know what I'm talking about. It's like, oh God, I can't get off now.
Yeah.
And I think to teach our children or encourage even in ourselves at this stage, a quickness to be as honest as you need to be so that you can have more emotional resilience is really special.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's so hard to do because it's not so easy because it's not always just about I just have to feel my emotion. There's other people involved, and you're trying to sometimes protect a relationship or the possibility of maybe it's me and I just haven't figured out what my problem is, and I'm subconsciously I'm like, maybe I'm blaming the other person, but it's actually my problem, and I want to solve that before I go complain about this person to somebody else. And I certainly don't want
to start triangulating things. And so I'm just going to keep everything to myself until I figure it out on my own. And it's just not how we're wired. We're wired for community.
Yeah, And I think growing up, you also you only know what you're exposed to to.
Yeah, you know.
And I had a dad who went to Vietnam when he was eighteen. There was no language of the heart really, you know, to speak of, and so I wasn't modeled for me like asking for help or sharing about struggles. So and that's through no fault of his because he wasn't exposed to it either, you know. But it's it's changing now. But like That's why I sort of didn't know because it was like, oh, it's an in house job. I got this was like the mantra, it's okay, I got this, you know. And it's like, turns out I
didn't have this, and I had a therapist. He gave me a great line. He said, tell the truth and tell it faster. And I love that, right, because it's like that applies to everything, whether it's like I'm struggling or like, hey, what you're doing is not okay with me. But it's like I had such a hard time telling my truth in the past because it would be like is this going to upset them? Is it going to rock the boat? Okay, I'll just I'll hedge it. I'll
only say half of it, but I'll make it a joke. Yeah, you know, And it's like, naw, dude, just tell the truth and tell it faster.
Yeah.
We spend a lot of time performing just for that to keep the peace or to protect our egos, and we're worried about feeling insecure or being seen in a certain way or being misunderstood from what our heart actually is.
And I it's to.
Feel like you're constantly performing that way but then how can I ever actually grow if I'm not just being honest and saying the truth and saying it faster. Even if the truth is ugly, Hopefully there's good enough friends around to go ooh, that was ugly, and then you can deal with it and grow. But if you're never exposing those parts of yourself and you don't ever have safe people around to do that with, how are you actually supposed to grow?
And if you are constantly curating other people's experience of you, you are never giving anyone else a chance to actually know you.
Yeah, and then you feel lonely and unsee for sure.
Yeah, Okay, listener question.
Okay, I hope you all can. I hope everybody out there can get something out of that. I certainly did. I feel like I can relate to that a lot. It's a constant that's a constant journey.
It's like, oh, you only gave us a fifteen minute long episode. Well, let us talk about trauma and healing, hey, and that we can do for hours.
That we can do sort of our brand around here, spin a wheel, folks.
Oh my gosh. Most likely to spend hours curating the perfect Instagram post was the wheel just listening to our conversation.
Wit, I will say that I end up doing. I spend way more time trying to put together like a dumb reel, like just some that I think is funny, like when my dogs opened up fertilizer all over my couch and then I had to deal with cleaning that up, and I was like, oh my god, this is funny.
And so I took some videos.
But I am so not tech savvy with this stuff, and so it takes way too long, I find myself. I don't know about hours, but way longer than I wanted to spend, because usually I'll get halfway through and then hit a button and the whole thing disappears and I have to start all over again. It makes me insane. Yeah, so I really don't post a lot of those things because it takes too long. I don't my brain can't handle it.
I feel that way too, and it's weird because it feels like such a chore. But then I also realize, like there'll be a hundred things that could be interesting to share, and of those I shared maybe two. I just don't have the energy for it. I don't know. I sometimes I wish I was better at it, because I'm like, if only the things that feel like the most important, like make it out there.
I know, I'd rather just call a friend to come over and enjoy the weird moment with me.
Yeah, do I really need to upload it for people? I don't know.
It's like it's not the first place my brain goes. But then people that are really good at it, I'm so amazed by. I'm like, how did you do that? This thing that you made?
How lovely?
But yeah, I don't know. I'm not that skilled.
I will overthink it, but I will. I will get through the photo portion, like I don't really mess with filters, but I will spend way too much time working with like the nuance of the caption and being like this word's too long, Okay, this word could be funnier.
The comedian you're working the joke, yea.
Yes, yeah, but it's like I will spend you know, I'll save it as a draft, wake up next morn and be like, no, no, it should have been witch.
I love that.
No, it's a creative outlet though that makes total sense for the comedian that you are, and it's real work. Like do you remember when Barbara was on the show and she said that she dated Jerry Seinfeld and she was saying that he was very serious about the business of being funny. I think that was her quote. He was very serious about being funny. And I don't know why that keeps coming up to me in random moments, but I think that's part of it for you, Rob.
Isn't it like you're serious about being funny, You're good at it, and you want it to work, so.
Of course you're gonna it's a creative outlet.
Yeah, yeah, and it matters to me. Tracks you know, It's like if it's a photo and I'm not as worried of like do I look handsome as much as like if it's a caption, is like did I land the plane? Is it as funny as it could have been?
You know?
Then I care.
Is there a character who would be spending hours on social media trying to curate the perfect post, like I'd say Alex. But I also feel like Alex would just be like whatever, and she would just literally post anything.
She's too fast and loose I think to spray hours doing it. I mean, I would say mouth because he has that kind of time right now. He Wow and he's he's hit with like he was like the first person to ever have a podcast that I knew of. Yeah, I could see him being savvy with it.
And he's always inventing himself, reinventing himself with different So he's got like this push to get something out there.
Okay, yeah, ok mouth answer.
Although I do love the idea of Dan sitting in some dingy garage obsessing over like the right picture and the right filter for his post.
By the way, Dan Scott definitely has a troll account.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, he's an absolute anonymous nightmare on the Internet.
How has nobody created a Dan Scott trolling account just to start trolling all of us? Oh?
Come on, come on, so freaking fun. That's a great job.
You should do it.
I think Paul should do it. Good at being Paul's funny man?
Is too busy? Yeah, it's true.
Bummer.
Next episode, Season eight, episode nineteen, where not to Look for Freedom. Something tells me it's Puerto Rico.
Oh that means, uh, we got Cherry coming up, one of Clay's new best friends.
He makes Cherry.
You're going to have to tune in to see. Oh yeah, interesting is it a stripper? Is it something else? You just got to watch joy.
I don't know.
Okay, Well, thanks for hanging out with us on this extra special short content episode.
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