You're listening to KFI AM six forty on demand. Welcome back to the Doctor Andy Wall Show ONFI AM six forty. Were live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. So I was talking about bad boys, and there are all kinds of reasons why women get attracted to bad boys, And there are different kinds of bad boys. They are the ones that just break your heart. They are the ones that come and go and they have an avoidant detachment style and they
can't really give you emotional intimacy. And then there are the real bad boys, the ones who break the law, and these guys can be very attractive to women. I have a very special guest in the studio who is actually in the Witness Protection program partly because of her steadfast love to a guy very high up an organized crime, and she's about to pay the ultimate price. Now, before I introduce you, what name am I calling you today?
Well, I go by the pseudu name of Olivia Flores, which is a name that I wrote my book under Cartile Wives, and today it's just me Val. You're coming out as Val. Is that the name your parents gave you when you were born? Yes, it is back to authentic. You after everything you've been through. You are the author of the book Cartel Wives
in a Nutshell. I will say that your husband worked under El Chapo and was instrumental in bringing El Chapo down, and then the two of you as a team turned yourselves in and your husband paid the ultimate price, spending twelve years in prison. Set it up for how you stayed in love during this time. You had between you five children. What were those twelve years like
for you? Those twelve years we walked into knowing that when my husband turned himself in and he was going to cooperate with the US government, that he was going to ultimately turn on one of the most powerful cartels in the world, which is the Sinaloa Cartel, and Chapel was the head boss of that cartel. So my husband and his twin brother, the Flores twins from Chicago,
they decided to change their life and cooperate. And not only did they cooperate, but they helped dismantle the Sinaloa Cartel by indicting over one hundred different lieutenants, cartel leaders, bosses. And in that cooperation, our goal as a family was to have them turn themselves in due prison time and US change our life. And on top of that, they were able to dismantle an
organization that they helped build. So you as a team. You and your husband were living in Mexico, as I understand it, in a mansion, the money was flowing. Was was the initial attraction to a bad boy about the glamorous life for you? Yes? It was. You know, I grew up. I come from a great, you know, home loving home. My father's a Chicago police officer, A police officer, yes, a Chicago police officer twenty seven years. My whole family comes from law enforcement.
I went to private school growing up. I came from a great, you know, tight knit family, very family oriented. And I just was attracted to these bad boys because you know, I was attracted to the power, to the money, to all the glitz and glamour. And we should say your husband was not your first bad boy, No, it was your third husband. He was my third husband. I had this thing for bad boys, this attraction. I always ended up dating the same type of guy.
And uncomfortable disclosure. What happened to the first two. Yes, my first husband, uh went to prison for a drug conspiracy because he also was, you know, working with the car talent selling drugs in Chicago. My second husband, he was murdered, and he was violently murdered, and it was probably one of the hardest things that I ever had to go through in my
life was losing him. When he passed away, I made a promise to myself that I would never put myself in that type of situation again, because I was just tired of the pain, the suffering, the trauma that I endured, and so I wanted to be with, you know, somebody that was like my father, which is a normal job, a guy that just goes nine to five to work exactly. And you know, you don't pick and choose who you fall in love with. And I fell in love with
my husband today. We've been married for twenty years. He is a Flores twin j Flores who cooperated against Chapel Guzman. And the reason why I fell in love with him is as ironic as it sounds, is he reminded me of my father. He was gentle, soft spoken, respectful, polite, kind hearted, and I didn't even understand what he was doing in the drug trade. I mean, he did not fit your you know it was he
did not fit your average drug dealer. He was nonviolent, and I knew that in this life, you know, in the drug trade, you're gonna either walk away either with a life sentence or you're gonna get killed. And I loved him so much I felt obligated to try to save him. As most women, you know, when they fall in love with somebody, it's like you think, Okay, I could change him. I see the good in him, and I saw the good in Jay, and I made it my obligation to try to get him to change his life. And I knew
he made me a promise that one day he would change. I never knew that we would end up moving to Mexico and going through all the hardships that we had to endure. I know that, you know, he of course was sitting at the highest echelon, at the highest level of drug trafficking that you can possibly imagine, where money wasn't an object, and we lived the lavish life. But I'm not here to glamorize that life. I'm here because I want to bring awareness to what that life brings. The money and the
glitz and the glamour. What you see on social media is not what it is you see you don't see the trauma. You don't see the murders, you don't see the kidnapping. I mean I at one were in fear every day and it was probably one of the hardest things that we had to go through. But as a family, we made this promise together, and my husband he kept his promise and he decided, while living in Mexico, sitting at the table with one of the most powerful drug lords in the world,
that he was going to give that life up. He had everything, money, power, and he decided to turn his back on the cartel and cooperate with the US government. He was not arrested. He turned himself in and self surrendered, and we came back to the US and he knew that he was going to spend possibly life in prison because he wanted to change his life for his children and break that cycle. He didn't want to bring our children up into that world. When we come back, I want to talk about
the moment you guys made that decision. What were your other choices. You're listening to the Doctor Wendy Wall Show on KFI six forty were live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You're listening to KFI AM six forty on demand, Welcome Back to The Doctor, Wendywall Show and I Am six forty were live everywhere in the iHeartRadio app. Okay. My guest is Valflores, author of Cartel
Wives. She was married to one of El Choppo's top lieutenants. She and her husband made the decision for him to turn hisself in and cooperate with the government so that they could get out of the life and have a normal life for their family. Now, is there any other way to quit your job as a drug dealer? I think that at that high level that my husband and my brother in law, his twin brother, Pedro Flores, at that high level that they were at, there was no way they can just walk
away from the cartel, especially them being a cash call. They've made millions and millions of dollars. I mean my husband, his case was two billion dollars and thousands and thousands of tons of cocaine. So at that level, there's no just walking away because they'll come in the cartel because you're such an asset, You're so valuable to them that the day that you think that you're gonna like walk away from that life, they will wipe your whole family out.
There is no loyalty. There's no loyalty in that life whatsoever. So you can't just go to human resources and give your two weeks notice. You gotta find another way exactly. So, you made a decision together to accept the consequences, and your husband turned himself in. He ended up serving twelve years in prison. You were a dutiful wife during that time, raising children. Can you help me understand what the visitation was like? How often you
saw your husband? How could he be a husband and father while he was imprisoned? Well, the reason why my husband chose to sacrifice and give everything up and want to undo everything, you know, all the home and everything that he helped create. In order for him to do that, he was walking into a life sentence. So it was a blessing that he received the fourteen years that he received, and so of which he served twelve. He
served twelve of the fourteen years eighty five percent. And we knew exactly what we were signing up for. We knew that it was going to be an uphill battle. We knew what it was going to take for us to continue to be a family. Was his life in danger while he was in prison. He was in the witness protection program in prison, so he was moved around to these you know, from these undisclosed locations around the country that nobody
talks about. He was moved around from you know, across the country, city to city, and you each time would move with the kids the prisons and I would visit him every single weekend, and I was devoted to my
husband. We chose to to sacrifice, and we chose to do this, and we wanted to make sure that our family stayed together, and it was important for him to have a close relationship with our children, because this is why we did this, you know, we wanted to you know, break that cycle and not bring our children into this world, into this drug world.
And so we were going to do everything possible that we can do as parents, as husband and wife to be able to you know, have that close family bond with our children, something that I was fortunate to have growing up. And the only difference was that we were in a visiting room every single weekend for twelve years straight and we how many hours could you see him?
I could see him eight hours on Saturday, Sunday and Monday, and so I practically lived there but when you're sitting in a visitation we would just get lost in each other and it's like everything in that visiting room didn't exist. We were just spending quality time. Were you able to touch each other? No, we were able to have a very you know, short kiss when we saw each other, and a kiss when it was time to say goodbye. Wow, And we stuck through it. And when he did come
home. I mean it, I'm sure re entry wasn't a pretty a cake walk there, you know, reentry. Yeah, you think like, okay, well, I'm visiting my husband every weekend and I'm spending time with him, and we you know, talk every day and we write each other letters, and you feel like it's going to be this like fairy tale at the
end. And it's like it was a transition. It was a transition for myself, of course, because as a mom, you know, I run a tight ship at home, and I'm very strict with my children, and you know, and my my children are used to a routine and now Dad's home, and he wanted to come home and be the Disneyland dad. Why do we have to have these roles exactly? You know, he just wanted
to cater to his children. I mean, he's an amazing husband, an amazing father, very loving, and he just always put his he always puts his family first and just wants the very best for us and just showers us with love. Do you worry about your family's safety today? I do live in fear. However, I choose to come out and I chose to you know, write my book Cartel Wise, to share my story with the world because I do want people to see the flip side of what that life consists
of. And it just doesn't have to it doesn't have to apply just to the cartel world. That's anyone that's you know, with a bad boy, that's married to somebody, that's with somebody that has you know, a criminal background. I mean, it's you know, there's just so much more to share, and I wanted people, you know, I wanted to make myself vulnerable and be transparent about my story. Even if some of my stories were you know, shameful and I was embarrassed, I felt I needed to share
this because you can see the transformation in my life. You can see the growth and how much I evolved as a woman, and I feel that if I didn't go through all of the st and all of the hardships and all of the trauma, I wouldn't be who I am today. And you know, there's a time as you're married and as you're with somebody who is breaking the law, it's like, you know they I feel like, you know, there's something called cognitive dissonance where you sit there and you want to justify
you know what, you know, what you're doing wrong. And I would justify it by saying, well, my husband never killed anyone. He was non violent, Like he's not a killer. That was my rationalization. And it's like, no, that's not okay. What you did was you harmed communities. People died because of drugs, and it was you know, it for you to be able to look yourself in the mirror and know that, listen, you know I made a bad choice. I made bad decisions.
But at the end of the day, I'm going to take something so negative and make it positive. And I need to for myself or my children, for everything that I've like, the damage that I've caused, I need to do something that's going to make a difference, that's going to put a dent in the drug trade, that's going to you know, just try to give back. I mean today my husband is teaching law enforcement. He's teaching law enforcement how to catch drug dealers, how to catch drug dealers. I mean
that is not just. You know, you can't just sit there. I can't just we can't live in fear and not do something about it. We feel like there's something at the end of the day. We have a purpose in life, and that's to do something positive, to leave something for our children, something that we can make our children proud of the way that I'm proud of my parents. Well, can you stay for one more segment? Of course, when we come back, we're going to talk about what's about
to happen to you in just a few days. You yourself, mother of five, is about to go to prison. We'll talk about that when we come back. You're listening to The Doctor Wendy Walls Show. Ok, I am six forty everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You're listening to KFI AM six forty on demand. Welcome back to the Doctor Wendywall Show on KFI AM sixporting my guest Val Flores, author of Cartel Wives, no not a novel, a real life story a val being married to one of the Flora's brothers,
the team who took down El Chapo Val. We've talked about why you fell in love with the bad guy. We talked about the glamour. We talked about the pain that you went through. We talked about your family's remorse. We talked about how you want to continue to do good, to keep kids off drugs, to make sure your own kids get highly educated. But now you're going to prison. How did this come about? Well, you know, when they you know, our sacrifices came with a very hefty price,
and in that transformation, I made mistakes. You know, my husband, we lived this lavish life in Mexico, and I got accustomed to that lifestyle. It's something I happened to know that you lived in a mansion so beautiful that the fountains in swimming pool looked like the Blagio hotel. Yes, yes, sadly, yes, that's that's the life that I lived. And it's not something that I like to brag about. It's not something that I like that I want to glamorize at all whatsoever. However, that was the lifestyle
that I was living. So when we came back to the US and my husband turned himself in. You know, I was accustomed to living, you know, in these you know, beautiful mansions and taking these lavish vacations, and so I honestly, when I came back, I thought that I was you know, downgraded, and I thought that I was living a normal, simple life, which was far from normal still at that point, and I
was spending money, and so I got charged with money laundering. You know, I took accountability for my crime, and I am now facing three and a half years. I will be turning myself in and the next few days and I'll be going to a federal prison. What is that like for you? Emotionally? You know, I learned, I went through you know, so much. You know, I so many mixed emotions, right, you know, I battled with this, you know, I kind of struggled with
taking accountability. And today, of course, I take one hundred percent accountability. But I felt like when my husband and my brother in law cooperated against one of the most violent narco terrorists in the world, you know, they had a deal with the government, and in that deal, their family was
not supposed to be prosecuted and we were to have immunity. I did disclose to the US government about the money that I did have, and I felt that that money was immunionized, and I felt that even though I was spending that money to live, I did not think that I was, you know, breaking the law, breaking the law and the deal that they'd struck exactly. And today I realized that it was wrong and I shouldn't have did it. But at the end of the day, I did believe that I was
not committing a crime, or else they would have never did that. And it's hurtful because now I look at my children, and my kids are older. What age range do they range from? I have three that have graduated college already and two that are in high school now, Oh so they're still in high school? Yes, And so when I look at my children,
you know, I feel it's the most hurtful thing. And it's it's very disheartening knowing that this is what I'm doing to my kids, especially them having to seeing them struggle with their dad being in prison and seeing their my children's you know, just their their pain that that was caused by not having dad home. I can't even imagine and what it would be like for them not having mom, especially when I've been there their whole life. I was mom
and dad their whole life. That this is you know, it's hard to walk away from my children and knowing that, you know there's going to be a void that could never be filled and as are they going to be able to visit you? Because of my husband's security and because I'm going to be in the Federal Bureau prisons. He cannot step foot into any of the prisons just because of the security issues. Too dangerous for him, too dangerous for him and myself more so, just because is that would identify you, Yes,
exactly so. And your children they can't come well because they're miners, they can't come without him. No, So I'm basically signing up to walk away and just be able to do my time and just try to get through it. But I do have a very strong support system and I I am just trying to stay positive. As crazy as it sounds, as a mother, I just couldn't imagine, no, what you're about to are now, are you terrified? I am. I feel like I'm just more so about
just knowing what it feels like to be alone. I think that's the most like painful thing, and that's what I struggle with the most, and you know, I just can't be there for my children, and you know, we work so hard. We honestly thought that when my husband was going to come home from prison, like we were just going to start this new life and it was going to be this fairy tale and it's far from it.
But I do stay positive, and I do try to look at things through a different lens, and I do feel like, you know what, one
day, we're going to get there. And maybe it's not right now, but I believe that I am today where I'm supposed to be, and there is still a lesson out there that I need to learn, and I am open with an open mind and an open heart, and I know that whatever that lesson is, I'm going to accept it, and I'm going to continue to grow, and I'm going to continue to evolve, and I'm going to
continue to be a better woman. You know, I met many people in my life, people who are resilient, people who are hearty, people who have amazing mental health despite trauma. And I feel like you are one of the top on my list. I know what you did was wrong, and people listening will say, you know, some of them are going to say, well, it serves her right, serves him right morally, judge if
you want. Okay is a human being who's growing. Yes, And I often say when I see these situations, there but for the grace of God go I. In any moment, something could happen in our lives that would force us to make a decision based on survival that would break the law. And so val will you are you able to keep in touch with us while you're in prison. I would love to keep up with your story. I definitely will. I'm one of your biggest fans, so I'm very privileged to
be here and thank you for having me. And we do want to make sure that we mentioned your podcast, because you and your husband have an iHeartRadio podcast. Correct, what is it called and how can people find it? It's Surviving ol Chapel and we have season one and season two on iHeartRadio or anywhere you get your podcasts. But you can't make any podcasts from prison,
right, they won't let you. We just finished recording our second season and we just finished doing our docu saries, so that would be coming out as well. I happen to know that you're in Los Angeles because they wanted to get you on camera before the federal government took you away. Exactly. Yes, Val, thanks for telling your story, Thank you for having me, and God bless all those children. I hope that they get through this yet
another trauma together. But you guys seem like great parents. Thanks for being here today. Thank you. You're listening to The Doctor Wendy Wall Show on KFI AM six forty. We live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You're listening to KFI AM six forty on demand. Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Wall Show on KFI AM six forty. Kayla, that was some interview. Oh my goodness, she's such a bite thing and she was. I just love
how optimistic she was. She was so positive about writing and also remorseful shamed, I was saying to her on the break. Actually, that probably the hardest emotion for every human to tolerate is the feeling of shame, right because you know, in our anthropological past, if we were shunned by the tribe, which is what shame is, worried what other people think of you, then you would, you know, unfortunately, die out in the wilderness alone.
And so shame is probably one of the most probably the most painful emotion, whether you call it embarrassment or shame or guilt, you know, those feelings that we have. And she's able to tolerate this shame and be very open and vulnerable about her mistakes, the mistakes of our husband. But you know, she was in a catch twenty two. It's like, try to quit your job and get your whole family killed, or go cooperate with the
government. I don't think there's a win there. Yeah, I mean, I know there are people going, well, they got themselves into that situation. It's not about how they got there, it's about what they did with it once they were there and where they're going. So that I can't wait to listen to more of her podcast. Okay, before we go, let's talk a little bit about our New Year's resolutions, because tomorrow's coming and that's day one. Although start on the second or third, you don't have to
start on the first. Go out for make a nice brunch. All right, here's what science says of how best we can learn to keep our New Year's resolutions. First of all, don't make too many of them. Number one, we have this idea that we want to lose weight and quit smoking and quit drinking and start running and have a better relationship and save money.
Nope, nope, nope, nope nope. Behavior modification works best when you work on one behavior at a time, and once you succeed in making that new positive behavior habit, then you can move to the next one and it becomes each new one becomes easier because you have this sense of accomplishment, you know the roadmap to getting it done. Now, I do want to say that besides narrowing your resolutions, I want you to make a plan for it. So, in other words, words mean nothing, will power means nothing.
The best way to make a plan is to list all the obstacles, literally, all the things that are going to get in your way that are going to be a problem. Like I said to you at the beginning of the show, Kayla, that I want to do dry January and not drink. But the problem is I'm going to Paris to visit my daughter in a few weeks and we're going out to a vineyard in Bordeaux, so it's not going to happen. So I'm going to plan for my dryness to come later.
Okay, So think about your obstacles, think about what you need to what is going to stop, and not just the obstacles, what you're gonna do when faced with that obstacle. So you're going to have setbacks, and part of the planning is not only imagining the obstacles but also understanding that you're gonna fall off the wagon. And that doesn't mean you throw out the resolution. Try, try, try again until you get it right right. I
also want you to set achievable, attainable, specific goals. Instead of saying, I'm gonna exercise more this year, I'm gonna lose twenty pounds this year, how about saying I'm gonna do cardio three times a week and I'm gonna do weights once a week. I'm only gonna have dessert on Saturdays, and I'd like to lose two pounds a week. Right, Like, that's attainable, achievable. So avoid like absolutes, like avoid like never always, just
give yourself grace, grace from the beginning. Also, there's research to show that when you achieve small milestones, they don't have to be big ones. Giving yourself a reward is super important. So, for instance, when I take up a new exercise program. I always start out with my old, ugly exercise clothes and then I say, okay, when I get to this
date, I'm going to buy myself new sneakers as a result. Right, So, if your reward for losing weight is to eat a lot of sugar, though probably not a good idea, how about buying yourself something that you can now fit into. Right, So, small achievable goals are very very important. It's also important that you pick a brand new goal to you. So if you've tried every year to quit smoking, maybe this is the year
you're going to work on your finances and saving do something completely different. As I said earlier, every time you achieve a specific new goal, it makes you stronger. It teaches you that you can do it, and then you can go to those harder goals that you might have failed with earlier. It's also don't forget this super important. Make sure you get social support. It's so much easier to achieve anything when you have a partner. Don't just go
join a gym and say yeah, I'm gonna go find somebody. Well. First of all, there's research to show that group exercise classes people stick to better than going to the gym by themselves. So join group exercise class, or find a friend to walk with, do something. You need to lean on people for your healthier eating habits. You're healthier exercise and even your spending
stuff. Right now, it takes about, according to research, sixty six days to actually form a new habit where it's ingrained and where it's automatic. One of the things you can do to help that along is to figure out you can piggyback a new good habit on top of well, a habit that's already there. It doesn't have to be bad. For instance, I would always forget to take my vitamins, and there's this special one I'm supposed to
take. So you know what I learned to do. I used to put before I go to bed, I put my vitamins in my coffee cup on the counter. So when I go to board my coffee in the morning,
I see my vitamins and it makes me. That's called piggybacking. Now, there was somebody else I read the I think I was a podcast I listened to was saying that they wanted to get up early and they want to go jogging every morning, and it was just some of the some One person said, well, what I do is I put my jogging clothes right down on the floor beside the bed with the shoes unlaced and open. So I just slide it. There's no questions, Just get up, put it on go.
But then another person said that they learned to sleep in their jogging clothes. Okay, that's look, whatever it takes, whatever it takes, okay, So don't make too many resolutions, make a plan for the obstacles. Understand you're going to have setbacks. It doesn't mean that you just quit. Get social support, figure out a way to get this done. I have a feeling that this is going to be your year. Make it small, attainable, have a reward, and have some friends with you when you do
it. Okay, Kayla, when you're the best, you make it small attainable, and I have friends with me while I do it. Exactly, put a smile on your face. But you already have a smile on your face wherever you go. Anyway, Happy New Year to everybody. We will see you in twenty twenty four. You've been listening to the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show but Live Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app as well as KFI AM sixty, KFI AM six forty on demand