This is doctor Wendy Walsh and you're listening to kf I Am six forty, the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app. Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show on kf I Am six forty. You know, I have said over and over that I've been obsessed with the science of love for many, many decades. And you know, one of the reasons I
started studying psychology is the same reason. Literally everybody takes their first psychology course to try to figure out themselves, of course, and I tell my first year psychology students that, and then hopefully you do that in the confines of a therapist's office. But having the psycho education of learning about how we relate to each other can be very helpful as well. I myself used to have
what I would call an anxious ambivalent attachment style. Anxious I was in love with hope, in love with someone's potential, longing, in love with longing, and I would be attracted to people who are very avoidant and distant and cold and unexpressive, and it was hard for me to get through to them because it would enlighten, enliven my feelings of longing, and I confused feelings of longing. All those quote unquote butterflies in my stomach were actually anxiety,
and I confuse that with feelings of love. But here's where the ambivalent piece comes. When I did meet people with a secure attachment style, who could openly talk about their feelings, who could give care, who are sweet and kind, I would run away so fast. I would either do things to destroy the relationship or I would say, oh, he's too nice. Okay, it's supposed to be like too nice. That's not a problem. That's
supposed to be a good thing, right. So anyway, it took lots of therapy and lots of learning for me to eventually have a secure relationship, which I can't tell you how good it feels. And you know, I was saying this actually to my best friend on the phone this morning. Julio and I've been together almost three years, and I said, you know, I have intellectualized love and a secure attachment. I know the concept, I can explain it very well, but for the first time in my life,
I actually feel it. I feel it in my body with the sense of relaxation I have when I'm with this person. I can literally feel my stress hormones decrease. I can literally feel like I can depend and trust that somebody will do what they say they're going to do. What a surprise, It's amazing. So one of the things questions I get all the time on my you you can always send me messages on my social media because I do read
out the questions online. I keep your identity a secret, so you can tell me anything on those dms on Instagram and I think producer Kayla, you go on there and pull them off from time to time, Oh yeah, every week. Yeah, And I read them here and there and put in a few words here and there, reminding everybody. I'm not a therapist. I don't have a license to practice therapy. I'm a psychology professor. But I'm a human being who's been through this and I'm happy to share my wisdom
and my life experience. But one of the most common questions is is this normal? Should I stay or should I go? Is this okay? They did this, but I don't know right. And that's a classic example of somebody who doesn't have a secure attachment style. It means that I'm sorry to use the psychobabble. But here's what they say. They call it an internal working model for love. Basically that means your idea for love is probably not
very secure. So I want to go through some phrases that you might hear or hopefully you might say, that indicate that you're in an emotionally secure relationship or you're an emotionally secure person. And these phrases are not from me, They're from a former guest I've had on the show who I Loved Death. I have like a girl crush on her, Doctor Courtney Warren. Doctor Courtney Warren wrote the book Letting Go of Your ex cognitive behavioral Skills to heal the
pain of a breakup and overcome love addiction. But she also writes about healthy love and happy love. And according to doctor Courtney Warren, here are some phrases that if you're saying them or hearing them, it's an indication that you're in an emotionally secure relationship or that you are emotionally secure. Here's she starts off with my favorite let me think about that before I respond, Oh,
my goodness. Instead of being impulsive, instead of being defensive, actually stopping yourself, creating a little gap and say I need some time to think about that one. Let me get back to you on that right Or you might say I'm feeling super frustrated right now. I just need some time to myself, or I just don't have an answer right now. Can we revisit this later. This shows that you are not reactive and impulsive and defensive, but
you can actually stop. Hey, what is being emotionally mature. It's taking your emotions and filtering through their prefrontal cortex, analyzing them, thinking about them, and coming up with healthy behaviors as a result. If you let your emotions lead, they may lead you to very unhealthy, reactive behaviors. So having that time is important. Number two nine phrases to show your most emotionally
secure No. The word no isn't that amazing? Some people are afraid to say no. I'm very afraid to say no, so I will usually say I'm sorry, I can't do that. You know, if you followed me for years, you probably know that I was the person who spoke out in the New York Times in support of victims of sexual harassment at Fox News because I was sexually harassed by Bill O'Reilly and when he invited me to his hotel room. I didn't still didn't say no. I said, I'm sorry,
I can't do that. That's my way. Look, Canadian got to apologize first. I'm sorry, I can't do that. Anyway. You can go online and read the whole story if you want to find out more, and you can also say thank you for your offer, but that doesn't work for me, or it's not something I like doing. It's okay to say that, right. No means you're emotionally secure. Along the same lines, you might say I'm not comfortable with that. I like to say that doesn't work
for me, or my favorite is that's not my policy. Not my policy, Like I have some internal policy. I'm a corporation, I have my rules. Go to HR that's my policy. I say that in personal relations, I'm not comfortable with that. And then when they start to belittle you because of your boundaries, you say, you know what, that's actually who I am and I'm proud of it. One example in my life. I know you won't be surprised by this. I often get criticized for being too
verbal, too expressive, having too many honest opinions. Being strident is a word that I'm called all the time. And I used to say, oh, I'm sorry, I'll try to be quieter, and I tried to, you know, take my light and dim it down. But not anymore. I say, you know, that's actually who I am. I'm an extrovert. I process externally and I'm pretty proud of it. And I'm honest to a fault. Yeah, I'm honest to a fault. Here's another sentence that
emotionally mature people sometimes say, really, am I like that? Or do I do that? Oh? We can take a moment and understand ourselves and get good feedback from people be able to accept criticism. It might sound like, oh, I didn't realize I do that that often. Thanks for letting me know. Wow, I guess I really do. You know? When I first started doing radio, I got a call from one of the bosses saying, you know what you do too much? You say, by the
way, too much. I was really cautious and conscious about it for a while, and now I think I've gone back to saying it all the time. But anyway, I said, thanks for the feedback. You might say, I'll work on that to let them know that you have an ability to change. All right, I have a few more phrases that people say in healthy relationships when we come back, and then I'm going to go on to social media and I am going to be answering your relationship questions with my drive
by makeshift relationship Advice. You are listening to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show on kf I Am six forty. We're live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You're listening to doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from kf I Am six forty. Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show on kf I Am six forty. We're
live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. Before I go to my social media and answer some of your questions, I just want to continue with some of these phrases that doctor Courtney Warren, the author of is it called Getting Over your X? Letting go of your X, talks about this is what a healthy relationship should look like. These are the words you should be accustomed to hearing. These are the words you should be comfortable saying. If you have a
secure attachment style, if you have a healthy relationship. So I mentioned earlier, you might say, if somebody offers criticism. Am I oh am, I like that. I didn't realize I did that, or and then I will work on that. And here's a great way to say it. It sounds like that's really important to you. I'm going to try to do that differently. I'm going to try to change because you're acknowledging their feelings. It
sounds like that's really important to you. Right, And then if somebody is dumping on you with all their problems from the day, you want to be able to say, I'm really sorry you're struggling. How can I help? Would you like me to listen or do something? You see God, listen closely, because here's the problem. You have fabulous problem solving brains, and when women vent about their day, you are so quick to tell, well, you should do this, and you should call the person you should and
you problem solve. We don't actually want you to solve the problem because we're busy solving the problem. And the way we solve the problem is we communicate it to others while our brain is sorting it out. And so being a good listener and just saying, oh, I'm sorry you're struggling with that. Do you want me to just listen or let me know if you want some suggestions for help, Just ask the question, which do you want? Because sometimes we'll stop in our tracks and go no. Just listen, okay,
just listen, and no matter what, don't dismiss the feelings. If somebody says I'm feeling so hurt by this, don't say no, you're not. You had all these other people with you. What do you mean you are feeling lonely? La ba ba. Don't say that. That's dismissive and that hurts more. Say I'm sorry you're struggling. How can I help? Here's another phrase that come up in secure attachments all the time. This really matters
to me. I really care about this, even if you don't. So this is important because this is where you're letting your partner know about your very solid boundaries, your very solid values. This is really important to me. Okay, if you find out, I don't know, what can we make up here, that your partner litters cheats on their taxes, whatever, you might be able to say, look, I don't think you're acting unethical, but I can't stand here and watch this. This is really important to me.
This bothers me, and then you move away from the situation. Finally, emotionally secure, people are happy to say the words i'm sorry, I'm sorry. Not in that way like I just said, well, i'm sorry. If you don't they like, manh no, but literally, gosh, I didn't know you felt that way. I'm so sorry I hurt you. That's all you need to do. But it becomes a competition. So often people are worried that somebody has to be a winner, and that means somebody
else is a loser, or that they're weak. If they say they're sorry, no, I'm sorry, it is the most powerful phrase you can ever say in a love relationship, So get used to saying it. As my little brother said, who's had a very successful marrior too, very successful marriages? He said, why don't you get married? Guys? You just need to learn how to smile and nod. Smile and nod. That's good advice too. All right, let us go to your questions. I am opening
up Instagram looking at my DMS. Let's see what you are sending me today. Reminder, this is my drive by makeshift relationship advice. I do have a PhD in clinical psychology. I've written three books on the science of Love. I did my dissertation on attachment theory, but I do not have a license to practice. I've just been a patient in therapy for years and years and years, So boy have I learned a lot. Okay, Dear doctor Wendy. My partner criticizes everything I do. This is from It looks like
a guy account, a gay account, guy account. I thought she was helping me grow at first, but now I feel like I can't do anything right. She's a perfectionist and it's starting to be expected of me. I love her, but she's making me feel insecure. Okay, I want to stop and say a couple of things. First of all, nobody can make you have a feeling. Now, we can make you feel a certain way. So you've chosen to feel insecure as your reaction to her constant criticism.
Now, her perfectionism is probably anxiety. It may be anxiety about, you know, just socially valuative threat. She needs to look good, you know, everything, you have to keep up with the Joneses, and everything's got to be perfect, the house, the kids, the car, whatever. Or she just has like kind of OCD kind of anxiety, like everything has to be neat and organized, and you can't make a mess or what have
you. I would say, rather than focusing on the content of what she's saying, zoom out, step back, and comment on the overall dynamic. So you might say something like, I notice that you criticize my behavior a lot, and I'm wondering, why leave it open like that? And she's going to say, yeah, because you're never in you leave mess here and you leavent there. And then you're going to say, and I'm wondering why
that gives you so much anxiety? Try to help her under have some insight into what she's doing and experiencing without getting into a tit for tat of No, but I don't always leave my dirty socks out, not always, sometimes I do, and then you're like into this tit for tat about the content. So instead of the content, comment on the overall dynamic. I'm noticing that you are criticizing me quite a lot. I'm wondering what that experience is
like for you. Yeah, maybe she's having an experience you need to hear more about. I'd like to share with you my experience of that. I'm wondering if I'm good enough for you these times, right, just comment, don't get into the nitty gritty talk about the overall dynamic. Oh here's a question I hate to read. Dear doctor Wendy, I finally realize that I'm an addict and I have addiction issues. How do I tell my boyfriend of
three months WHOA Well, you need to reach out to AA. First of all, you need to reach out for addiction help right away, and they will tell you that when you're in recovery, you probably shouldn't have a relationship for the first year. You're not in your right mind. And maybe he met you when you were the fun party girl, partly because it was fueled by drugs or alcohol, and so when you become your sober self, he might not be attracted to you, and you don't want that to trigger you
to drink more. I know. So I think you need to just sit him down. Don't do it on the phone, don't do it by text, don't do it by email. In person, you need to tell him. You need to say those words I'm an addictor I'm an alcoholic. I'm going to seek treatment. If you want to stay around for this, that's great. If not, I totally understand it's only been three months. Okay, you guys don't even have a secure attachment. It's way too early.
But you need to get the help for yourself. You need to reach out to medical and psychological services so that you can heal and become whole. When we come back, I'm going to continue to answer your relationship questions. You are listening to the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show on kf I AM six forty. We're live everywhere on the iHeartRadio appe You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from kf I Am six forty. Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show.
I Am six forty. We're live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. If you'd like to send me a relationship question on social media, send me a DM on Instagram, TikTok YouTube. The handle everywhere is at doctor Wendy Walsh at Dr Wendy Walsh. Reminder, I have a PhD in clinical psychology. I'm a psychology professor. I've written three books on relationships. My dissertation is on attachment theory. But I'm not a therapist. I don't have a license.
I call this my drive by makeshift relationship advice because I've been there, I've had the experience. All right, let's go to Instagram. Here we go. Dear doctor Wendy, I don't feel the spark everyone speaks of. I never have. I've been with my guy for four years and I've never felt that spark. Am I broken? Or have I not found my real
person yet? Well, let us analyze what a spark is. I don't know what you think us spark is, and I'm wondering if you are actually saying I've never had that huge rush of hormones in my stomach that feel like butterflies, like the movies say you feel when you fall in love with somebody. Well, news flash, most people don't feel that, only if they have an anxious attachment style and they're being triggered. Yes, there is a hormone rush at the beginning of falling in love, but it doesn't last very
long, and certainly it doesn't last four years. It should meld into feelings of comfort, safety, security, peace, relaxation. That's called a healthy relationship. You are not broken, But I'm wondering if four years into this relationship, you're saying you're wondering why you never felt the spark is actually your
relationship is probably transforming, as all relationships do. Long term monogamy is filled with phase and stages, and when people talk about the work of love and the work of relationship, it means creating novelty, doing different things together, seeing your partner in a different light. If you're spending too much time together, spending some time separately so you can bring new energy and new stories into the relationship. If you're spending too much time part spending more time together,
scheduling sex making, creating new and novel experiences for each other. That's how you create the spark. But don't rely on romcoms and romantic novels as your definition of love. They're the same as what pornography is to definitions of sex. It's not real. That's not how it goes. Dear doctor Wendy. I was going through my girlfriend's phone. Oh oh, Should we stop right
there or should I continue? I was going through my girlfriend's phone and I found an old sex video where she was having sex with two guys at the same time. I was so hurt that she was that girl. She never told me about her past. She always acted like a good girl. I don't want to bring Oh dude, I have to just pull you off this train. I don't want to break up with her, but I also can't look at her the same. What do I do? Okay, let's start
with invasion of privacy? What the heck were you doing looking in her phone? None of your beeswax? All right? And her past is her past, and she's allowed to have her past, and she's allowed to be her person, just like you are allowed to have body autonomy in your sex life if you want to. You can't betray her and have new partners without her consent. But if you want to go into the confines of your own bathroom or bedroom with the door locked and do any freaky thing with your own body,
you're allowed to. You're allowed to. That's body autonomy. She's allowed to have body autonomy too. Now let me quote evolutionary psychologist who would tell you that every man, ladies listen closely evolved to have a heightened sense of sexual jealousy because in our anthropological past, any partner that he had who was sharing her eggs with the tribe, he might have ended up raising another man's genes, giving his time, talent, and treasure to another man's genes.
So as a result, those dudes, by the way, fell out of evolutions chains, the one that says, go knock yourself out, whatever you want to do, hook up with whatever, honey, I'll be back later. They fell out of evolutions chain. But it was a guy who said, where are you going? Who are you with? What have you been doing? Who's here today? Those are the genes that are dominant. It is hard wired. It's not an invention of patriarchy. It's hardwired in men's
sexual psychology. Now times have changed, we're having to adapt to environment. Patriarchy is is falling apart, being disassembled. Women have birth control. They're enjoying the pleasures of their body. They're protecting themselves from STIs by using condoms. They are having birth control, and they're enjoying their sex life. Look it, if you believe the sexual double standard is real, the one that gives men points for sexual experience and gives women demerit points for the same sexual
experience, You are deluded. Okay, do you know who all those men with all that sexual experience have been having sex with pere women? All right, It's not like there's one tiny group of promiscuous women who are servicing the whole herd of men and having way more sex than any man ever would No, every woman and every man of the same age, for the most part, are having sex at about the same rate, some more often than others. Okay, so you hurt yourself. You went into her phone. Why
because you are feeling jealous, You are feeling abandoned. You wanted to you. This is how an anxious attachment style works. The healthier way to say this, to deal with this would be have to said to her, honey, I feel like we're losing our closeness and I'm worried that maybe you're dating other people. Can we find a way to get back into relationship. Can we find a boy to get closer again? And then you wouldn't have had to go into her phone and risk hurting yourself. So you've got to do
the emotional work yourself. She did nothing wrong. You did a lot wrong. Now you hurt yourself and you say things like I can't look at her the same way. We'll get over a dude. You're gonna have to learn to look at her as a multi faceted human being. Oh, yea yea yea yea. Dear doctor Wendy, this guy that I've been having a sneaky link with, I know what a sneaky link is. I learned because Kayla taught me. You're so hip, doctor Wendy. It's a side piece.
It's a little hook up on the side hook up, a low key hook up, low key hook up. Yeah, it does be single and still be sneaky Lincoln single and sneaky link. You could yeah, you could think both, like not be dating anybody else, but nobody knows that you guys are dealing with each other. Oh, it's like a friend with benefits. Yeah yeah, yeah, there you go. Okay, So this guy have been sneaky linking with its verb now for three months, has asked me on
a date. I don't want to date him, but I still want to hook up with him. How do I tell him I don't want anything more. You need to be brutally honest because you cannot lead him on. Okay, that's terrible. You need to Actually you should break it up. That's my opinion, because now that you know he has feelings for you, he's going to be hurt and triggered every time you have a sexual encounter, he's going to be longing, so please do him a good solid and break up
with him. Tell him I'm sorry, you've developed feelings and I haven't, and I don't want to mislead you, so let's not seach you. He'll go no, no, no, let's get together for the six and you're gonna have to say no because you have more power than he does in this relationship. Right now, he doesn't have power because his feelings and hormones are all wound up. That's my take, all right. When we come back, we're into the home stretch of The Doctor Wendy Walls Show, I want
to talk about something that I teach in my health psychology class. If you are over the age of sixty, as I know a whole chunk of our listeners are, I want you to listen up because there's a new epidemic happening in your social circle, and I'm going to tell you how to spot it. You are listening to The Doctor Wendy Walls Show and kf I am six forty. We're live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. Right now, let's go to the twenty four hour KFI Newsroom. You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on
demand from kf I Am six forty. Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show on KFI AM six forty. We are in the home stretch of the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show. I want to talk about something that my students are always shocked when I bring it up as a you know, I teach developmental psychology and I teach health psychology, and I bring it up in both classes.
In developmental psychology, I bring it up in the late adulthood stage, and I also bring it up in my health psychology class on when we're talking about addiction and the epidemic that has continued to grow in our culture is something called late onset alcoholism, and it is defined as alcoholism that comes on after the age of sixty five. These might be people who were social drinkers most of their life, not heavy drinkers at all. Some of them were not
drinkers and might have stepped into it. And let's think about situationally, what happens so you're retired, not a lot to do with your day, and by the way, that's not the thing to do to live long when you're supposed to retire and take up amazing hobbies and charitable organizations and work for political organizations and get really involved as guardians of the culture. Right, those are
the people who have very successful, healthy, long lives. This idea of sitting in a rocking chair or looking at Netflix all day long is not good for you. It's going to shorten your life expectancy. You gotta get out there. Why a lot of people keep one foot in their career part time, you know, they're mentoring, they're in one day a week. That's
ultimately the way to do it. So that's one of the factors. Just too much time on their hands and no social world saying don't you know, like I guess when you're working, is supposed to wait till at least five o'clock to drink. Remember that whole saying it's five o'clock somewhere, right, there's no one saying that you don't have to wait till after work. There's no work, right, so there's time on your hands. There's no social
pressure to not drink. And it might start with oh. And one other factor is that now people are on medications, and taking medications may mean that alcohol impacts your body in a different way, either that it's more dangerous or that it affects it just affects your body differently. Right, So psychologists are
calling this an invisible epidemic. Right, and people are starting by saying, well, you know, I'll have a beer with lunch, I'll have a glass of wine with lunch, have a martini with lunch, and then it's like, well, maybe I'll just have another one, and before they know it, they're literally drinking most of the day. I want you to understand
how alcohol works. Not all alcoholics are psychologically addicted. Oh, there might be a psychological piece to this because of the loss of identity with the work. Also, maybe there's a divorce that happened, especially for men living alone, this is very common. Maybe it's you know, this lack of who am I now? What am I going to be in life? Can cause some feelings of depression. Alcohol is a depressant, so it only makes depression
worse. However, we take it because in the short term it makes you feel good, right, in the short term, So it is starting to be an epidemic. It is often related to loneliness, loss of a spouse, disabling condition, but for some people. It is just a physical dependency. So let me explains there's kind of two kinds of alcoholism, and many alcoholics have both. Physical dependency is you know, alcohol stays in your system
for about twenty four hours. That's why if you drink wine with dinner every night, you have the craving again at six pm the next day because it's just expired, right, It's just gone out of your body, and then your body says, okay, I want some more of that one it's gone right. And in other times you're drinking to ameliorate negative feelings, right, self medicating from those negative feelings. And some people who suffer from alcoholism may
have both. Obviously, the physical addiction and the mental addiction. I personally think that late onset alcoholism is more about the physical addiction. You're just in the habit of doing it, and before you know it, like weeks have
gone by and you've been drinking every day. I don't know if I told you, but years ago, when I was a regular guest on CNN in the green room, I met a guy who was a UCLA professor, and he runs a moderate drinking management program in Beverly Hills for people who don't qualify for AA. He said, it's kind of controversial because the people at AA
think he's nuts that an alcoholic can't ever be a social drinker. But his criteria is, you can't take and enter a moderate drinking management program unless you can go thirty days without a drink. If you can't do thirty days without a drink, you need to be an AA. Okay, that's serious. So I said to him, hey, can I try it? Because I have wine with dinner every night and I'd like to take days off. And
so he let me do a modified version of his program. And I'm not gonna lie that thirty days was a little rough, but it made me mad, like every day that I craved a drink. I was like, that is that is crazy? I can't believe I'm not stronger than that. And I was so mad. So I rivaled my way through. But then he taught me a few things that how you learn how to be a social drinker.
And if you're retired and find that you're drinking every single day, I want you, as he would suggest, to make a drinking schedule, which means you look at your week, you see where you're gonna be who you're going to see, and you schedule days that you'll drink and days that you won't, and the days that you won't. He said, you also have to have a go to drink. That's your order, you know. For
me, it ended up being it sounded funny. I'd order a non alcoholic beer, I'd put it on ice, and I'd squeeze in a whole bunch of limes. For some reason that made me think I was drinking alcohol or a cocktail and the lime feeling. I don't know, but I wasn't getting drunk. Did you know that some non alcoholic beer have a little tiny, tiny bit of alcohol in them? Because one time I sent a kid to the store to buy me some and they wouldn't sell a tour so but I
bought the ones with none. And then the other thing is to just sort of like make a calendar, and if you can't keep to that calendar, then you need to be in an addiction program. Right then you need to be a AA. But I want you to look around your lives. Is there somebody you know, somebody you love who might be suffering from this, Well, it's an in visible epidemic. Late onset alcoholism look at your grandpa, look at your uncles. What are they doing and talk to them about
this because it can shorten your lifespan. It's not a good thing and they need to be out there, I don't know in marches, being politically involved. They need to be out there, mentoring, volunteering, helping young people, going to the gym, just being busy. That's what we need to do. So reach out to somebody if you have this idea that they might be suffering from late onset substance abuse. Alrighty, that brings the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show to a close. I am always here for you every Sunday from
seven to nine pm. In addition, you can find me all over my social media at dr Wendy Walsh dot com. I also hold a Wednesday evening Patreon group where it's not therapy by any means, certainly not group therapy.
It's like a book group without the group without the book. What it is is a group of people from around the world, literally on all continents, and we meet at six thirty on Wednesday nights on Zoom and we talk about a relationship topic that I usually pose, and then it's a brain trust of people that weigh in and share their experiences and it's a wonderful hour at six thirty every Wednesday. It's ten bucks a month. You just go to Patreon
dot com slash doctor Wendy Walsh to join and it's fun. So come on and I'd love to meet you. A bunch of KFI listeners are in the group, so it's really fun to have everybody together. But otherwise I'll see you here. And if you ever miss a show, remember just download that iHeartRadio app and you can listen to Doctor Wendy Weals show on demand. Anytime. You've been listening to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show on KFI AM six forty,
We're live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You've been listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh, you can always hear us live on KFI AM six forty from seven to nine pm on Sunday and anytime on demand on the iHeartRadio app.