THE WEEKLY ROAST AND TOAST - 12-30-2025

What's going on, everybody? Welcome to the Weekly Roast and Toast. It is I, I, Corey Coleman. How y'all do? Y'all make me feel so good. Y'all get over here. Oh, folks. Martin Thomas? Yes! It's in the house. Oh. Yeah, yeah. Martin Thomas looking like a bottle of wine over there. Nice red, red wine. That's a burger. Ooh, that's too me. I don't know. You swung way out of the track. I knew exactly what I was doing.

This is the Corey Coleman version, right? Billy Brooks! How you doing? Blueberry Brooks. Okay, fine. Blueberry Hill. That's great. Yes. I found my thrill. That's right. With blueberry bill. Sing my lyrics all better. That one is good. That one is good. That one is good. Pixie is here. How you doing? She was adjusting herself, so she might as well introduce herself, too. How you doing, girl? Look at that. I'm the old Pennywise over here. Look at him eyes. Hey, Georgie. Georgie.

You don't want your balloon? We all float down here. Stop it. Stop it. How's everybody doing this evening on this New Year's Eve Eve? It's fine evening. It's fine. evening over here fine like wine over here that's not you think I'm making fun of me that's one of my favorite outfits actually you say that every week

Every outfit I like. What can I say, man? All right. That's how much style you got. Every outfit is my favorite. Okay. You just have to put it on. That's all. Oh, people. How y'all doing? Welcome to the Weekly Roast. And Toast, how y'all doing? This is the show where we take a movie of your choice. You voted for it. And then we take it.

put on that grill, roast the hell out of it. Ah, but you know what? Speaking of wine, we might like it at the end and might pour in a nice glass of libations. Sure. And give it a nice little toast at the end. It could happen. It could happen. It could not. Actually, that's been happening a lot lately. It could not. More often. Bet on not.

Yeah, yeah. But it happens more often than not. But lately, it's been a lot of knots going on. We all tangled up around here. I can't even remember the last time we toasted something. Oh, man, it was a couple of weeks ago. You just been hit hard the last couple of weeks. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I can't remember. After you get a couple of weeks of getting your ass whooped, you kind of forget. Because it's been a couple of weeks. Pixels!

Hit us hard. Yeah. Oh, I can't remember the other one after that. The turtles. The turtles. We had two weeks. I had fun with the turtles. We had two weeks of pixels. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah. No, Turtles was fine. I like that. That was fine. be. I always have fun of these Christmas things. There was one that I hated. Playdate. Playdate. No, playdate. No, hell no. That lazy shit. Every time we mention that, we're like, hell shit. That just makes me mad.

All that money, I couldn't do better than that. No. I don't know. Clones running out of cheap shit. I mean, the same ones gave us War of the Worlds. So, you know, the bar has been set pretty low. That was on my papers in 2025. I love War of the Worlds. I do not apologize for that. I recognize it for the bullshit that it is. You know, you just read that you get one of your favorite movies of 2025 to also be on your worst of list at number one. Did you go here? Let me show you. All the time.

Yeah, I love me some War of the Worlds out there. Yeah, man, some of these terrible things have been some of my favorites. I mean, every Christmas, I celebrate more with some of the bad Christmas stuff we've seen than some of the good stuff. That's the stuff that's more memorable. We've had some great Christmas ones. Oh, yeah. Grandma got run a reindeer. Man, we just talking about that. Me and JV. Rap City Kids. And the other one. Oh, damn it. Oh, yeah.

The one with the orphanage. Yeah. The one with the orphanage. Yeah. Every Christmas, though, Rap City Kids is coming on. I'll put that on. Oh, I still have fun. Every Christmas, I'll put on that Kirk Cameron movie. Oh. Yeah, I got to hang with the guy squad. I don't know if I can hang with the whole thing, but for Rafi's rap, I'd stick around. Rafi's rap. And you know what? I don't watch the whole thing. I'm lying. What I do is I put it on when they start eating.

He threw a hell of a party, I'll tell you. They started dancing immediately. Soul training and shit. Yeah. I'm the person that shows up late when they start serving food at that house. He's so condescending at the beginning. Let me tell you about Christmas, you fucking heathens. Exactly. You ain't got a cup of nothing in it. Well, that's good.

Nothing in that shit. Nothing in that shit, but contempt. And you know there's nothing in there because when you take it, try to throw it in his face. Aw, nice cry. Now, you gonna listen? You gonna sit down and listen to the story or not? I expected that. Man, I don't watch this every year, but...

I've come to really love Jingle all the way. Oh, yeah, man. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, man. Cock to the side. I love that movie. Man, those full Alex Schwarzenegger beating up elves and midgets. And Sinbad choking random middle-aged white women. White women in Middle Street. And then these two fools dressed up in costumes and fighting each other in the city. It's ridiculous. Over a toy. Yeah, that movie's crazy. And I love it. I actually, when I saw it.

the first time. I hated that movie, but... No, he is. Man, some things you come around on. I got a ball. You had a bomb? Remember? There's a bomb and you're like, this is a bomb. This is a bomb in the package. What the fuck? There was a bomb in the radio show and it ends up blowing up later and they're all like Looney Tunes. Where did a bomb come from?

Because Sinbad acts like he's got a bomb in his mailbag. Oh, with a real bomb. And then they end up being one because they leave and it blows up. Jesus. Oh, these cookies are so good. Hey, Phil Harmon, trying to fuck Arnold Schwarzenegger's wife. The whole movie. Yeah. That's his only character, is trying to bang Rita Wilson. See, he must have been horny for her, because...

Arnold would have whooped his ass. He didn't give a fuck. No, he didn't. Shit, I'll take that ass. Exactly. You better get home, man. I'm this close. I mean, you can hit me now. It's too late. Shit, I already hit that ass. Yeah, I got them cookies in that ass. Put the cookie down. That ass is so good. Put the cookie down. Yeah, all these movies have been classics, man. All these Christmas movies. Yeah, I don't...

I even like that Turtles one. Didn't we do another Turtles one? Another? Oh, that was for the concert. Yeah, concert. Yeah, I love that concert movie, boy. Kid knows. Brush shredding. That's one of the best shows I've been to. Coming out of our shells, too. Rapping. Never stopping. Moving along. Gotta keep singing. Gotta keep rapping.

Ready to go. Ready to go. Ready to go. The guy in the costume was like, this motherfucker. You can see the sweat coming off the costume. He was like, if he don't say something, I'm going to whoop his ass. He was doing some panic dance. Yeah, he sure was. Because you see him, he gets it. Ain't nobody going to fucking help you, man. Keep it together, Charlie. Everybody just lit his ass. He's like, I recommended him for this job, too.

I got a roommate. Can't pay rent. I got a shot. Are you fucking around back there? You know he's like, where the fuck is he? You can see the panic flop sweat coming off the costume. Look at this right there. Grab it, we're gonna keep talking. Ready to go.

I made it. No, you fucking did. That's one of my most quotable lines out of all these roles. Ready to go. You seem like this. He's like, motherfucker. What was that next line? You look on the ground for his words and shit. No, but he's dancing, but the guy in the back is supposed to be doing the audio. But he kept it down until he said ready to go. Yeah, right. Those guys in the costumes aren't the ones singing.

There's people in the back doing audio, right? That's how it sounds, but I just noticed it right there. I don't care. All I know is what I saw right on stage looked like the turtles. I don't care about nobody backstage. It looked like the turtles fucked up. I want to think that the turtles... There was a dude in a t-shirt and shorts got his ass whipped right after the show by that guy in that costume. Where the fuck were you? At a bathroom break.

And splinting up the skipping stones and shit. Skipping stones. Okay, what'd you say? Apple was in pain. Take a shit on me. I thought you tried to get the women in the audience. Yeah, girl. You know you like this. A little preview. We'll see what you're working with. Oh. Yeah, Splint. Singing from his balls. Yeah. Oh, oh, yeah. Oh, it's getting stuck. That is not singing, that's pain y'all.

You forgot the one because I looked at this the other day. Y'all probably forgot that they, uh, cause that's the show for kids. i mean you know this is i mean in little kids but they when splinter came out They tried to get serious with it. They tried to make a social commentary about the pain of mankind. We are the world and shit. And my kids are like, what is happening? You gonna see dogs in fire hoses on black people? Kamigami. Making a statement about homelessness. But his message is...

I don't worry about it. I'm just spinning stones. Be happy. People are all fucked up all over the world. Be glad it's not you. You're right. You got parents. You're all right. I'm smoking stones. I was confused about that. Chasing the dragon. It's like, what the fuck? Don't go to the bathroom, boy. It's going to be a while, huh? That was one of the greatest concerts I've ever been to. Man. Damn, watching. Turtles forgetting their words.

Damn, rats singing about crack rocks and shit. They're doing social commentary. We gotta do better. Bigger than children. What did y'all say? Damn, we are the world. Yeah, no. Look at the audience. Everybody's gone to the bathroom. And then Shredder came out and did a 10-minute comedy roast. I love this concert. I don't care what anybody says. That's genius. You never say anything like it. Be like, good.

I'll tell you what you will see. You'll see the chat fam starting to OG channel. No sign, bitches. God damn. Jesus. Man. You know, it's like Mad Magazine. Yeah, it is. Damn, John Billy's about to eat this white woman right here. I'm not sure I get that reference. I do. You last night, right? Yeah. Which one's Kogi? I know one of them's Kogi. Oh, Billy's adopted. Look at him. Oh, whoa. It's fucking up. Oh shit. Oh my God. Wow. I did not see that. Damn

That's way too accurate. At least he's handsome. I like that. I like that little boy with them adult teeth back there. Yeah. Adopted too. I guess he just got adopted. Look at that. He's happy. For now. Did he start biting everybody in the house? Yeah. One, two, three. Oh, I guess. Okay. I'll be the best.

Oh, Billy, you in every Christmas special this year. Mr. Christmas. Every Christmas special. Well, I'm doing well, aren't I? You got your own channel, man. You got me the wig on, too, and that blonde wig. Couple of wigs. That's what it gets you right there. Long one. Yeah. I go to every one of those little towns. They shoot those movies. I'm the new guy.

I'll save the town. I like that. Oh, boy. Y'all get crazy and crazy every day in that OG chat. I'm glad I kept it. Oh, man. What would we do without it? You ought to come over for Martin Free Monday sometime. You ever heard of Martin Free Monday? No, what's that? I don't think I want to know. No, you don't want to know. It seems like any time I'm here, because that's four in a row for me, right?

I don't get it on Tuesdays or Wednesdays. What you see going on with you when you're here is what goes on with Martin on Monday. Okay, all right. A lot of things that you see originate on Monday. I'm waiting to just stop by and just take a look.

Ooh, Eddie got him. All right, I'm out. Somehow you just skate right on by. No, I don't. What's the day that you get me? You're not here on the days that that happens to me. Please. I can't help that. The only day I'm not here is Monday. That's what I was going to say. Apparently, that's my day. Right, right, right. So, yeah. And then when they get him, kind of, he's like, oh, look at how they got me. He's like, Negro, please. Listen, y'all are just more inspirational.

One for every 20 on us. Yeah, exactly. I'm just boring, man. You know, y'all are the inspiration. I mean, he's got a lot of character. They're scared of you. No, they're not. No, they're not. Billy's got a lot of... Oh, they kiss asses. No, no, I'm just... I don't inspire.

It's the way it is, man. I wish I did. I'm jealous, man. Oh, you jealous, huh? I am. Y'all heard that. He's jealous. I am. I've said it. I say, why don't y'all ever do me? You know, I've said this. Well, maybe they do it. You just don't show them. I can't know what goes on. You know what hurts me the most? My shit takes time and precision. I'm like, I mean, that's really good.

Thank you, man. Goddamn. Well, that's just pure love. That's a tribute. Well, see, there's one about me. Where? When I was talking about Resident Evil. You should have kept your mouth shut. Get the fuck out of here. For real, yeah, yeah. I'm going to second that. So they do get me, man. Look at that. Look at that, man. They got me good. Oh, that's good. Okay. They got me. You wanted it. You got it. Look at it. I'm going to be. Look at that right there.

That's me, man. Nigga, please. Yeah, yeah, for real. Is that you? I can't even tell. Can't nobody tell that's you. It look like Gumby. Yeah, I see Gumby. I see Gumby, too. Oh, you see what you want to see. No, I see Gumby. I see Gumby. It even has... name at the top. You don't see my face in there? Hell no. Hey, we tried, y'all. It's this big. We tried. It's there. Koki, Koki did it. I mean, you know. I always said it about Koki and you.

You know, you can't satisfy some people. You took it off and next was me again. There's Martin in the middle right there. Hey, look at that. You get Dua Lipa. And I get Gumby. I mean, come on, man. Stop saying you get Gumby. It's not you. And all the time, this one way you said they got you, it's still this one.

Yeah. There'll be others. No, I'm not. I'm not. I know. It's not even one. Yeah, it doesn't even count. Yeah. Well, you know, I'll get another one in about two months. Yeah, exactly. Hey, here's a good thing.

Oh, what's that? We reached level five, maybe six on heightness. Wow. I don't know if y'all are thinking that we're going to go easy on you because it's New Year's Eve coming up. You know, so listen, we still doing a poll tonight. But I've noticed that we got to level five tonight. I really appreciate that, y'all. That's great. It is great. It is great. I want to give a big thanks to the side bitch chat over there. Who we got over there? We got Hamilton Hamburger, Griffin X, Luke the Boss.

Get your ass back to work. Hazy Glorious is over here. Swift Ranger is in here. Swiftly, I may add. Damn, y'all are going fast. Dan Evil Robot, Mark Murders. Leroy Odd, who gave us, since y'all reached level five, a new hype train. Did he? Oh, wow. He knew that we would be lacking hypeness because of all the Christmas hype trains. So he got on it and was ready. Right when Christmas is over. I was hoping for a New Year's hype dream. Yeah. They said, you know, that's too short right there.

We only get a few days from New Year's, so we got a new hype train that we can use any time this year. Hamilton Hamburgs, I'm ready for the roast. Edward Collins is here. Tang fever. with his tangy asses up in here crag man craggier than ever oh too tall Oh, and who is that strolling down the street but the Brooklyn dandy? Dandy man tastes like candy. Oh, good. Welcome, welcome.

Brooklyn Dandy's Sweetest Candy is here. Thank you. Thank you for being here. Brooklyn Dandy's Sweet Like Candy. Sweet Like Candy. Oh, yeah. Got his pimp walk with his cane and everything. Top hat. Gloves on. Are you a pimp, sir? I most assuredly am. I'm a dandy man. Doing things of dandy mankind. How dare you. Pistols at dawn. Knickenbackers on all that good stuff. It's a personal front. Listen, we can take y'all behind the scene on something.

Y'all see that very inspired Billy Brooks animation right there, which was done with AI, I'm sure. That's one of the best things that AI has done in a long time, I think. It just proved its worth. We all have our nightmares. It's worth all that contaminated lake. You just soaked up a whole lake right there, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What y'all know about that? There's a behind the scenes on how this image was made. oh let's see it yeah let me see here right here he says i use chat gpt to make

The original Billy Brooks image with the big teeth. Then I use AI meta. I use meta AI to animate the image. That's it. I can't take full credit. Oh, we know. Yeah. Like we really thought you said there. with a stylus and a computer and made that. That was weeks in the making there right there, man. Months to animate. Uh-huh. Yeah, by hand, I might add. Oh, it's still fun, though. I appreciate it. Yeah, it's fun. Oh.

Let's see here. Now, see, here's the thing. When I get it, it might not happen that much, but I get it. I get it hard. All right. Because look, y'all are just nice and cute. You know, mine, they get personal with me. You know, they take my torment, my pain and make memes out of that. Look at that. When a random moment of movie reminds you of her.

I ain't gonna lie. That's pretty rough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, Niana, see, ain't you glad you get it like you do? Okay. But you put all your business out there. So do you. Not on your level. As in you sit down. Yeah, I mentioned that I ate Popeye's a couple of times. That's your thing, man. You put it out there, man. That's on me. That's your fault, man. You should have shut your mouth.

Now they try to twist it around. That's more on her than you. Come on now. It reflects on both. Yeah, it does. Can't you see those tears of torment right there? Look at that. Plus he has to live with that image. And look at that. And that's not even a manipulated image. That's me crying on camera. That was real.

They put my dead daddy up there all the time. You see that? Just yesterday, they had the willinator up there. But, you know, my dad is a Terminator for no reason. Well, for some of them stories. I'd rather have determined to come in my room than what you would have said at Bootham's stories, man. Goddamn. I was looking at you. Change your time, boys. Yeah, yeah, man. Come in. I'll be back. No, no, no, don't leave, don't leave, I'll come with you.

See, look at this. Look at this. Oh, this is the worst one right here. No, look at these, man. Look at this. Corey is cranked. Look at that. Look at that. See, I get it. I get it. What's that? There's no context to that whatsoever. They just wanted to make a poster. Okay, y'all want some context? This one hits the hardest. If you ask me, I think Corey looks like C-3PO.

Man, that is... Oh, my God. Do that with me. You know what? So I can sit here and not understand it. What a terrible performance. Get the hook. Oh, boy, they hit hard, man. We're saying, man, after that goddamn joke, boy. Come on, swoop your ass off. Look at that, man. Like C-3PO. Yeah, man, look at it.

Oh, look at that. No, my dead father, right? Look at that. Oh, the will and that. Well, it ain't nothing sacred with me. That even makes him look cool. You can't complain about that. Right, right. And I suspect when he busts in your room, besides the leather jacket, that's what he looks like.

So you asked if I look at that, all those Swanson dinners I'm eating. Look at that. Fat Coleman right there. Look at this. I'm getting names wrong. Bro, I get it all the time. Not even on this show. I go on. the internet and there's something with me eating and it's just I'm getting bigger and bigger looking like Jabba the Hutt by the end. Yeah, but hey man, you know. Listen. What? That's it. You're inspirational, man. Just be happy you inspire people. Let's agree to agree and agree to draw.

Man, you know you don't get dogged out on these. I'm just saying, man, but when I do, like I said, then, you know. Man, you inspire people. But when I do, it makes no sense. So it doesn't hurt. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't hurt at all. What the fuck? Oh, man. Star Wars characters don't look like it. Look at this. They keep coming. Boy, this hurts. man. This really hurts me looking at Corey and Kayla.

Look at that, man. That really cuts me to the heart right there. Why? Why does that cut you? I'm serious. I'm curious. Man, you don't see the message in there? No, don't tell me. Because you have a Jewish... I can't. I don't want to talk about it. Just randomness. Just random shit making posters. And even if he If there was like a piece of art that made you look like C-3PO, I would get it. Right. But it's just a gorilla. A gorilla with a robot. Yeah, with a cyborg eye.

What kind of dumb shit is that? You better get the fuck off with that shit. Spun the wheel. Yeah, yeah, here we go. Sure. You don't understand a sideboard gorilla calling me C-3PO. My man just found that picture and wrote this shit on the bottom. Yeah.

You don't get, you don't understand? You don't get the, you don't even get the subtext in that? It was a joke, but it made any sense. I just want to get in on the act. Well, listen, man, if I got to explain it to you, then I'm not going to do it. Then it doesn't work. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. If I explained it to you,

I won't be able to because I can't. And I picked that because you know who did that. Mark Murtis. Mark Murtis is crazy. He's the one that always does random shit. Like Mark said, he's like, everybody making memes? Hold on. I got nothing. Oh, shit. Don't close up yet. Wait, wait, wait. I'm late. I'm late. Let me see. I got a gorilla and a sideboard. And an umbrella. Mary Poppins. What?

Wait a minute. Hold on, y'all. I got a giraffe and a bowl of spaghetti. Hold on. Hold on. It's been again. I'm coming. Hold on. Oh, man. I dropped my shit. You trying to catch a bus and grab the wrong bag. Hey, you know what? He made one of our...

Highest selling shirts, though. I know, I know. It's crazy. Oh, yeah. I bet that shirt wasn't sold, though. Let's put it out there. You know what? Now that we talked about it, it just might. It might just might, man. Before, I'd be like, what the fuck is this? I like the way Austin CK is like, I don't get it. Yeah, none of us do, man. Because you don't make any fucking sense.

I like the way I was talking like everybody understands. Oh, man, this shit. Ain't that crazy? Man, that's genius right there. Oh, man. Huh? You don't get the subtlety, see? Oh. Damn Austin CK just came out I think Mark is unfunny and stupid You mad now. No, now that Austin said it. The spell was broken. Yeah, I was gonna send her. I was trying to be nice. I thought that was your boy. You know what I'm saying? It's true. Mark came in and said, thank you.

Compliment. Thank you. More to come. Stay tuned. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. More gorilla hilarity will ensue.

There you go, man. Look at that. Me as an operation boy. As the protagonist in an action movie. No, I'm sorry. Sorry. He really got you. Yeah. Taylor's suit on the shit. There you go. Captain Madden made with Super Pixie. Look at that. Oh, it made you a superhero. Wow. What a burn. I'm sitting there eating fucking atmosphere. I'm like Galactus.

Yeah, he's like a Galactus Pac-Man, man. You over here Superman. Okay. Well, how about that right there? I don't even know what that is, man. That's another Mark Murtis special. Oh, God damn. It was his own special. Yeah, it was his own special. Yeah. Oh, boy, y'all are killing me. Killing me. Yeah. Oh, man. Why don't y'all do them like that? Yeah, for real. Make a superhero. Come right up. The worst ones. Popeyes, man. God damn it.

Fiddler on Popeye's roof. All that Popeye's. Don't feed them. They already did those. Did they? Yeah. I'm not saying anything that hasn't been done yet. Let me sit here, y'all. So y'all did reach level five today. And I haven't seen all of this hype train right here, but it does start out pretty funny. So ladies and gentlemen, this is Leroy Odd. And he presents to us a new... hype train getting a jump start on 2026. so everybody before you say happy new years say hype

Man, we roasted that. That's actually pretty funny. I like it. Oh, get it, get it. Tonight, we got... What the hell is that? I don't like that at all. Get it, Gump, and get it. Man, you put some brand new stuff. We got for you. The Bad Moving Rules for Adopted Part 2, The Long Awaited Sequel to one of our roles. Oh, that's right. Which is a sequel to the movies. I'm so playing. Oh, get it, baby. Oh, there it is. Man, I am impressing you. Get it, Elmo. Get it.

Oh, no. Oh, yeah. Oh, folks. We also have a post tonight, so don't think I'm getting away with that. You're going to do it too. Also, I hate to tell y'all this, but we also got for you... Leroy, I'll tell you what I like about this, but I'm sure you got a stink. I'll tell you right after that.

I don't know who did that shit. I don't know what you want me to say. You should have moved, right? You in the way. I like the way you took... different clips and edit them together look like they actually flowed into it into each other yeah people lighting bombs and going to another movie damn the uh listen i gotta say this is the first i've seen somebody combine the twilight zone

with Soul Plane. Soul Plane, right, exactly. The original one, but what I'm saying, right? Yeah, that gremlin on that plane. What's that? Oh, he went from Leguizamo in The Pest right into Leguizamo in Spawn. In Spawn. Oh, he did. Yeah, he did. He was dancing in the shower. And the chat is loving it. They say genius. And he opened with the late...

Great. Isaiah Whitlock. Was that Isaiah Whitlock? I don't think that was him. That wasn't him. In the very first scene? It looked like him. That wasn't him. No, I thought it was the first two. It wasn't. That was not him. What was that movie? I don't know, but I remember we roasted it. What movie is that?

Yeah, that sure didn't look like it. It did. No, it definitely did. I'm telling you because at first I was like, oh, that's your racism committee. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm wrong. Yeah, no, I don't see it again. No, that was not Isaiah Whitlock. It did look like which person you talking about was the bar brother guy.

chair uh the barber yeah no that no that was not him because those two characters were like mighty mighty mighty mighty people in this movie okay there you go man i'll show you look let me see here Yeah, that is not... That is not a... Well, when you freeze it, but move it, it does look like it. For a hot second, I thought it was. But I can't remember what movie that was. They'll tell me. They'll tell me what it is.

he opened the thing up boom and i like the way like and people just they want me to be wrong so bad because like no that people like no that was him in there Yeah, there was a dude here. We're often saying no. Yeah, some dude was in that movie. No, that was him in that scene. Yeah, yeah. No, you were wrong, sir. Oh, that's right. That's what that was. I knew it was one of those movies. It was Romeo Must Die. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. That she was not in. Yeah.

Well, your man was convinced. No, that was him. No, sir. It was not. Yeah, you don't see him going, shit. Yeah, that dude died today. Yep, sure did. People like, oh, no, I didn't know he died. Yeah, sorry to break that to you. Yeah. Yeah, the shit man died. He was 71 years old. Let me see here.

Oh, let me see. Somebody said, read the damn chat. What happened? Let me see here. Okay. What is this? Dame Dash. sold his studios at an auction to cover one million dollars worth of debt damn who damon dash stacy dash's cousin he was uh he started jay-z yeah yeah yeah he's one million dollars in debt

He and Jay-Z broke up. I'm just saying. One guy's a billionaire and one guy's a million dollars in debt. Fuck. No, I'm not trying to make fun of him. I'm just like, damn. It's like, daddy, must not be. If you had Jay-Z as your friend, he'd be like, hey, can I borrow a million dollars? We started this shit together, man. Him and Beyonce. Beyonce was just named a billionaire. Yeah, right. On her own. Yeah, not his money, her own money. He's been one, though, man.

Yeah. So, you know, y'all must not be friends no more. A million dollars is a drop in a bucket for them. Unless you just buy something that costs a billion dollars or more. that's the tag price it is hard to spend a billion dollars not even several billion a billion yeah it's hard to spend that in a lifetime yeah if you live like a normal person

But if you're trying to be a mover and shaker and do stuff, you can go through it a lot faster than you think. Well, that's what I'm saying. In other words, you got to try hard. You got to try hard. To spend a billion dollars. You got to try hard. You got to make a lot of bad investments. You got to do shit like Johnny Depp.

in Nicolas Cage buying castles and shit you can't resell. You know, yachts and stuff that don't resell value. Drinking your $5,000 bottle of wine drunk one night. Yeah, you gotta be doing dumb shit. Like this Boone's farm. Yeah. Yeah, you got to be buying like several jets. Right. I mean, listen, if you stupid.

Even with a million dollars, you can live beyond your means if you're stupid. But it's difficult. It is hard. Somebody poured out like some salt from a salt shaker and pulled out just a... Few grains of salt and compared those grains of salt to like the like the billions of dollars over there. And they said these grains of salt right here now, but anybody else.

We have this pile over here, which is this big. And then you got this little pile over here. This is big. He said for anybody else, this little pile would be several millions of dollars. Some shit we'd never be able to spend. Enough to last you several lifetimes. Again, if you live sensibly. Think about a pile of a million dollars, millions of dollars, exponentially, several times over.

And that's your, you know, that's one billion. That's what I'm saying. Like, you don't even have to live sensibly and you won't spend that much money. It's just. You can do whatever you want to do and not spend a billion dollars. But if you do shit like, like, all right, I'm gonna buy three yachts.

18 planes, you know, the shit like that, you can't do that. No, shit that doesn't only cost a lot, it costs a lot to keep. Yeah, launching a lot of businesses that don't go anywhere. Spend your own money on them. Yeah, spend your own money on them. You know, people, they don't have billions. but they have millions to win the lottery, buy houses. Don't keep up the fact that you've got to keep paying on those. Right. You get this property taxes. Yeah. Yeah.

It's a good investment if you do it right, but if you don't... This is a part of wealth, y'all. I'm not a financial expert, but a part of wealth is knowing how to invest. And knowing how to like not pay taxes and things like that. And it ain't buying shit and showing off. Actually, if you flaunting shit, that either means that you were not rich.

Are you just a stupid son of a bitch that just won the lottery? Yeah. You're not rich or you will soon not be rich. Yeah. Or you're very eccentric. Yeah. Slash crazy. A lot. Like they have millionaires. Now these people aren't billionaires, but they're multimillionaires.

And they know that, you know, that millions can even run out at some point and be done with it. And these people, they don't buy expensive cars. They buy clothes that they can wear for years. They don't buy flashy stuff. They lease their cars. Yeah, yeah. They don't buy stuff that flaunts wealth. People who flaunt wealth ain't got no wealth. Yeah, well, it's people who never had it suddenly get it. And now, oh, I have a genie. I can get all the things I wanted.

And I'll still save some, but all that money they're spending to get the things they always wanted, wanted to flash around, costs more than they think. Yeah. Also, when you buy stuff that you can't.

resell like you know you got like tony parker who's not done with his money yeah he's having a hard time selling that house in the hill country because he's tricked it out so fucking much oh yeah the whole marvel room and i'm like i ain't buying that i mean i would but i mean like something else other people

If you move into a neighborhood and you trick your house up so much that it doesn't match the other houses in the neighborhood, nobody's going to buy that. There's some people that you can learn from. These people are rich and they have a lifestyle that they never really changed and they were able to save money.

And they also have people to help them invest. And you can learn from these people. The Beverly Hillbillies. All we can do is buy that one house. They bought that house. Didn't change no clothes. And those fools kept eating skunks, dude.

Same clothes. Kept dressing up in them old ratted out hillbilly clothes. Same car. Driving out a raggedy car. Same car. Didn't change that car. No, man. Ain't no wrong with this car. Yeah, there was shit. The people were begging them to actually, like, shit, you can, like, spruce it up a little.

They're like, no, we have to be in country like this. Mr. Dry, the other banker, was like, let me spend some of this shit. Yeah, some of y'all ain't never seen this show called The Beverly Hillbillies. It's about these hillbillies. The song tells you. A man named Jed went out shooting for some food. He shot at the ground and came up bubbling crude. He shot a hole in the ground and oil came up. Oil came up on the land. And they were...

Instant multimillionaires. And they had to move out to, I guess, Beverly Hills because. That's where they were helping them manage their money and everything. But shit, them fools went out there. Packed that car up. Didn't change nothing about the old contract. Except for the house. They didn't want to move out there. No, they didn't. As a matter of fact, it was their cousin Pearl that talked them into it. Right.

It's an old show that y'all ain't seen, you kids out there. But if you want to learn about some money management, look at these old redneck motherfuckers. Out of all those old shows, that's the one that's the most rewatchable. It is brilliant. and he's talking about moving back. And she's like, man, I can't stand it out here. They driving through. And people just saw them as just because when you rich, you ain't country no more. You eccentric. So they drove through.

They were driving through Beverly Hills and that old ragged ass. With shit tied to it. It was either that or everybody's trying to fuck LMA. One of the two. Oh, hell yeah. Or Jethro. Yeah, they would. And everybody just said, well, shit, they got enough money to be eccentric now. Not country no more. Yeah, people didn't fuck with them because they had money. Yeah, every time somebody wanted to fuck with them or put them down, they found out how much money they got.

had and those people straightened up real quick yeah yeah oh mr clap it i didn't realize because they had they had people who just looked at the little country as interest you know because people like these old ignorant ass hillbills don't know what to do with this money and

And I don't know why they were never ripped off. They actually had some good people watching out for them because they considered them an investment. So they had, the banks were on their side. They had lawyers just wait for somebody to fuck them up so they could get paid too.

Because they had Mr. Drysdale looking out for him. Oh, yeah. Because he didn't want the money to leave the bank. Right. Right. And they had this dude named Mr. Drysdale, who was that banker. And he was behind them all the time. Yeah. And he was so frustrated with them. But he couldn't do shit because, you know. Yeah. Because he was always afraid they would just.

take that money out of his bank and move back to Bug Tussle. Hell yeah. This is the opening to the Beverly Hillbillies, y'all. Great theme song. It is. It'll tell you everything you need to know. Let me see here. As theme songs did back then. Mm-hmm. Man, let me see. Oh, hell no. I had the movie. No, don't play the movie. Nobody looked at that movie right there. Movie wasn't all that bad. Man. I thought that. I didn't, I never saw it. I thought, what's the thing? Jim Barney was a great. He was.

Yeah, people hear it. Yeah, this old country ass dude. Jed Clappett, he even had an old hillbilly name. Jed Clappett, he ran with us. He was like... The ultimate hillbilly. He ran around with a torn up hat and a hound dog and a shotgun. But a coat. A sports coat. Torn up sports coat. Raggedy ass. Yeah. Listen to my story about a man named Jed. A poor mountaineer barely kept his... You run some black folks up his wall. Get the fuck out of here. You niggas, get out of here.

That's how he got that oil. He was shooting at some big roads. He came up with something else black. And then one day he was shooting at some food and up through the ground come a bubbling crude oil that is. Black gold. Texas tea. Well, the first thing you know, old Jen's a millionaire. She was in there just dancing. She was in there dancing. California is a place you ought to be. We're caught in the middle of Beverly. Yields, that is. Swimming pools. Movie stars.

I guarantee the police are right behind her. Ellie Mae was fine as hell. She sure was. Ellie Mae is one of the main reasons why a lot of black dudes love white chicks. She was gay, man. She was thick. She was. She was hourglass. Shit, Ellie, man, I'm going to show y'all because y'all don't know nothing about Beverly Hills. She was Daisy Duke before Daisy Duke. She was. She was.

Yeah. Everybody watching that show with dicks all hard. Talking about, oh, look at the dialogue. Yeah, okay, man. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, look at that, man. That was Ellie Mae right there. Yeah, man. Everybody had a thing for LMA. And if you notice, as the seasons went off, less and less clothes were on. Yeah. It's the 60s. Everybody got a rope for belt, by the way. Yeah. Everybody had.

Pets, you know, everybody had poodles and expensive dogs and she was walking around the neighborhood with them. Possums. Oh, that's right. She always had different animals. That's right. Like Snow White. Like a redneck Snow White. There are animals that don't even exist in Beverly Hills. She would just have them. Yeah, yeah. She just found him. She's like Dr. Doolittle and shit. Remember she be talking to him and shit? Jeff was big dumb asses.

Just fucking his way through Beverly Hills. Well, he didn't even fucking. He was just oblivious. Yeah, he was oblivious. I don't know if women wanted to get on him. Yeah. Women didn't even hang on him. Yeah, and he just didn't know. He'd be like, yeah, she's real friendly. She's light as a feather, man. You ain't going to do nothing with that? With what? Hell in me, boy. Yep.

Find his frog here. Yeah, Mr. Drysdale's secretary, Miss Jane, was always trying to fuck Jethro. Yes, she was. Oh, Jethro! And Lily Talbot played in the movie. He was like, both actors, clearly lesbians, but like they got all over there. Mrs. Drysdale, yeah, Mrs. Drysdale. Mr. Miss Jane. Miss Jane. What's her name? Miss Jane Drysdale. No, no. She wasn't married. She was a secretary. Secretary. Miss Jane. Yeah, that's what I always called her. Yeah, she was the one.

Always having to clean up the mess. Before Mr. Drysdale, you know, flipped the fuck out. Oh, there she is. And she was always trying to hit Jethro. Jethro, like, I don't want none of that shit. You look like granny. I don't know. Man, if anybody would have got it, it would have been her. Yeah. She would have worn him down. Yep. Look at that. Look at him looking just dumb as hell. Look at that old little ass towel.

That Max Bear Jr., he was so good. Yeah, he was. His dad was a famous boxer. A boxer, yeah. He was the evil boxer in Cinderella Man. His dad killed somebody, actually. Yeah, he's the evil boxer in Cinderella Man. Yeah. There y'all go. Yeah, boy.

Yeah, Beverly Hillbillies. Now, if y'all want to go watch some old shit, I know some people like saying, I don't watch black and white stuff. I don't watch old TV shows, but I guarantee you, if you go and watch the Beverly Hillbillies back in the day, you will enjoy that show. That show was really funny. Yeah, and it was one of the shows that went from black and white.

black and white to color. Y'all would like that. That show and the Munsters. Well, we seen the Munsters. I didn't like it. No, we ain't talking about the black and white TV show. Even though I've kind of liked it. John, that's Rob Zombie. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

They said fuck it. I'm like, no, they said fuck it at the end. Wow. Let me see here, y'all. Oh, let me see here. It's Julian. That was before my time. Yep, that's Julian's mantra right there.

uh cory got me hooked on the rifleman for like three months yeah yeah man i showed y'all yeah man look there's some old shows i won't show you those shows listen if y'all want to do a watch party with some beverly hillbillies i do with y'all because if y'all like the rifleman y'all gonna love the beverly hillbillies

I ain't never seen the Beryl Hillbillies before. I'm talking about old. I'll get some old episodes. Y'all gonna love them. But yeah, I was telling all these kids out here a long time ago that we started talking about this show called The Rifleman. One of my dad's favorite shows. Yeah, and it's an old Western. And you don't expect no Gen Zs or young millennials to want to watch an old black and white Western, but...

We started watching some of it and then we started laughing about it. And then y'all were like, oh shit, I got to see more of this. And then we had a watch party and we watched about three or four episodes and had a great time with them, man. Shit, there was a channel I found out of the blue one day. They just showed Rifleman all day. Oh, yeah. Yeah. MeTV. My dad watches it all the time. Matter of fact, when I was in Houston, MeTV, now they branch off and have two channels. Yeah. Like a Me Too.

TV. Well, I guess it's not Me Too TV, but it's Me Too TV 2. And it's a Fee TV that also does it. No, I've seen that. Yeah, maybe one day I'll get together and we'll watch some old TV. Watch old episodes of the Beverly Hill Village. I would love that. This show is funny as hell. Guarantee, y'all. Yeah, it's hilarious. It's a great concept. Yeah, it is. Yeah, yeah. Billy's moving to Beverly Hills. I know. The name changes shit. They go through themes like Jethro went to see James Bond.

That's all he could think about was trying to be a double O spot. Big old country. Yeah. Big old strong country. Some people ask me to talk about a certain thing. Oh.

Look, as usual, there are certain controversial things that I don't like to talk about until more information comes forth, especially when it comes to. sexual harassment or sexual assault cases. Y'all know who I'm talking about. Do I? I think. The new ones? Yeah. With a football player? No. No. Okay. Actor? Yeah. Comedian?

Yeah, kind of. British? No. Oh, you're talking about Russell Brand? Yeah, I thought you were talking about Russell Brand. No, there's a lot of that going around. No, I'm talking about Tyler Perry. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Tyler Perry has... Two cases. Caught two more? Yeah. Two allegations against them. Yeah.

And a lot of people say, well, Corey, you're going to talk about Tyler Perry. Y'all act like I want to talk about Tyler Perry because I don't want to get him in trouble so I can keep getting his movies and roast them here and whatnot. So we keep making money off Tyler Perry. That is not the case, man. I don't like to talk about...

This is still pending. Yeah. Because some new evidence came out. So is evidence strong, though? No, no. I mean, in his favor. In his favor. If y'all want to know the truth. And I, you know, I'm saying this, I don't like to say anything until I actually kind of feel a certain way. I until further information comes out from what I've read so far, I don't trust these allegations against them.

Yeah, I mean, I'm not trying to stick up for him because I'm like, hey, when it whenever comes out comes out. But it is a thing where like that accuser, like he's been able to go, OK. Here's all the text. This is when he said this happened. And after that, here's all the friendly texts I've been getting from him. We've been back and forth and there's been no animosity. Yeah. Wait a minute. Did they show the text in that word?

supposedly against Tyler Perry? Did they show those texts? No. What are the allegations? Is it the same one he had before? It's one of those things where, so Tyler, this guy, he's called, I forgot his name, but I think he's like, He's been mentioned as frat guy number nine or something. Oh, it's right here. Mario Rodriguez. Accuses Tyler Perry of sexual assault and sexual battery in a December 25th lawsuit. Merry Christmas. It responded to text messages that.

purportedly show him acting polite and grateful to Perry because Tyler Perry came out and said, this is the thanks I get for trying to help this guy. But this guy is saying that Tyler Perry grabbed his penis and rubbed his leg. and told him just just just just relax and take it so you know i i don't know if there's all these texts where are these texts

The guy's asking for a shitload of money. Of course. Now, that's what really gives me. Now, listen, if you're coming up and asking for like some honest, you know, kind of humble damages.

I mean, if you're talking about $200,000, $500,000, that's one thing. But this man was, I believe, $77 million. Oh, boy. Well, you know, with Danny Masterson, them girls were like, just lock his ass up. They weren't even asking for money. They were like, just... get him off the streets exactly and so i was like oh that's that's not good for you a lot of you get a lot of people and i'm not saying people shouldn't get paid for their pain you know

they can work that out fine good for you but a lot of people just say man i just want this person exposed and i want my truth to be out there right right ain't nobody could 77 million dollars Yeah, because you're like, what did he do that was worth that much money? Well, you say all he did was rub your penis. Yeah, no, when you, okay, if something happened, listen, even if he did do it, ain't nobody gonna give you no goddamn $77 million. Are you stupid? You know what it is.

Ask for 77 so he might get five. Yeah. No, I know. I can talk him down. But shit, even then, man. He's still overshooting. Don't be ridiculous about it. Don't be fucking stupid, man. Judge will throw that shit out. Yeah. When somebody's asking for millions of dollars, it just sounds like a payday to me. It does. I'm sorry. It does.

So, yeah, that's why I haven't talked about it, because one, I don't have a very popular opinion, probably, because, you know, some people get mad when somebody makes these allegations. And if you say you don't believe them, all of a sudden, everybody thinks that you're trying to hurt the victim.

And I'm not. Yeah, I'm not even saying I don't believe him. I'm just saying the waters are muddied. Yeah. And so I just do not even have an opinion until it all shakes out. Yeah. Somebody say we're talking about it now. Yeah, I'm talking about in a way where I'm letting you know, like, I'm not coming here. trying to come in with a really strong opinion either way, I guess I kind of do have a bias here because I really do believe that this feels like a shakedown to me.

Now, if something else comes out, I'm not saying that's what it is. I'm just saying that's what I feel like. But I'm fully prepared to say I'm wrong. I say that all the time. So don't come up here and be like, man. Remember when you said that they were full of shit? No, I didn't say that. I did not say that. I'm going to sue your ass for $77 million. You keep messing with me. But that's the reason why I'm not saying anything. I feel a certain way.

But I'm not sure. So I just don't feel like talking about it when I don't know. Also, at the end of the day, this is none of my business. My having an opinion on it means nothing. Well, it's actually my business. I ain't gonna lie. This is what we get paid for to talk about these things. But, you know. I'm not being exploitive with it. It is our job to talk about pop culture news and stuff that happens in entertainment, even things like this.

But yeah, I don't know about this yet. And I certainly do lean towards at this moment that this dude is looking to get paid. 77 million dollars. Guess my ass. You act like he's suing you. Well, I mean, she will. Even if it's a settlement, you know, a ploy, right? Strategy. Overshooting like that.

His lawyer is going to be Tyler Perry's lawyer is going to be like, you're not even serious. You're ridiculous. Like if you came at them like, look, I want five or two to five million. And I don't want to say none at all. Yeah. OK, here's 800,000 to shut the fuck up and sign this NDA. Yeah. But just to get rid of whether he did it or not.

You start shooting for the goddamn moon. I know what you got. Yeah. See, the other thing is I'm not a legal expert. I only have an opinion. I can comment on things that I know for sure that come out. I think it's too early to come in and have that kind of opinion because I'm not a legal expert.

Probably more stuff is still going to come out. And I just don't want to overstep my boundaries and speak out of turn. That's a smart way to do it. You shouldn't come out asking for that much money unless you got video of the event. Exactly. You better have all kinds of shit, right?

But yeah, I can't have an opinion. And, you know, like I said, but I don't think it should be an exaggerated opinion. I think I should just work with what we have here. People who try to ask for that much money, I get suspicious immediately. But who knows? And even if it is that case that it happened, I don't think that that's worth $77 million. Right. I mean, the fact that People Magazine picked up the story makes me kind of go, ooh.

But I mean, you know, because they could get sued for even running the story. Yeah. In a certain way. And see, people want to talk about this because people I'm going to tell you why people want to talk about this. They want confirmation of a lot of things. They want a confirmation. Like I told you he was gay. Right. Yeah. People want to say, I told you so, you know.

People love salacious stories like this. They will love all these kind of little details. But people, you know, it's people who look, you be you. I'm not saying Tyler Perry is an angel or anything like that. I don't know. I don't know anything about this man. It's private life.

And all I know is that he makes crazy ass movies. And we have fun with them. And crazy wigs. And crazy wigs. Somebody sue for them. Exactly. Now that's worth 77 million. I should have called my brother, man. He made me look ridiculous. That hurt my brain. Billy, what he did to your brother. I know, that's worth 77 million. Maybe 72. What he did to your brother is atrocious. Probably better to grab his dick than make him wear that wig. Your brother needs to sue.

for $77 million. What you did to your brother was inhumane and just cruel. What's that movie called? Fall from Grace. Fall from Grace. No, hair fell on him. Hell to pay. Let me sit here in my card. I got paid, man. He needs to get paid more for the pain and suffering that he had for that. Look at this shit right here. Yeah, man. You know, I can't decide which one's worse of that one or the other one I saw.

With all the glue in it. I can see the glue in it with Shamar Moore when he had them cornrows. Oh, that was a diary of a man. Yeah, you can see all the glue in between them. If you're sitting where I'm sitting, you can see the glue right there in that seat. Yeah. But you can see that old dried up, crusty blue red. Yeah, but he had them bro's though. I'm not trying to. No, I don't think it's a contest. Because nobody wins. I'm just saying.

he did to your brother was cruel and humane. That's fratricide. Yes. And your brother needs to sue for that. He's talking about some goddamn pain. That is not right. Nah, man. A lot of people just, you know. When you get famous enough...

For some reason, man, all the negative people out there just want to see you get brought down. Of course. And that's not me defending Tyler Perry. That's not me saying, leave Tyler Perry alone. No, there's a whole cycle of, oh, they're the new thing. Oh, they're great. They're awesome. Everybody loves them. And then the backlash.

Yeah, out of nowhere. He's been big for a while, though. Yeah. And, you know, like I said, for some people, it's got nothing to do with sexual assault or anything like that. He's gay. I knew it. Oh, yeah. That's what they want to prove. They don't care about who we assaulted or anything. A lot of people want to say, I told you so. I told you he was gay. Look at that. He dressed in those...

That's like a woman. That dress all the time. Madea was really him. You know, people want to see all that. And then people just love to see a billionaire be brought down because. you got something you don't. Yeah, like Diddy. Yeah, exactly. Leave that man alone. Damn shame what they did to Diddy, man. You got no choice but leave him alone right now.

Diddy is cackling his ass off in his cell right now. He got off easy. Shit, at this point, Diddy wishes he had a Tyler Perry wig, all that crazy. He ain't looking like Uncle Remus. No, he sure was, still boy. But you know what, though? That little... The light ass sentence he got, he said, I'll shave it off in a minute.

Yeah, bring my bologna sandwich. He's having this pool full of baby oil right now. But yeah, you know. He has to fill it up right now. Yeah, this stuff right here, man. Something will come out. And we'll probably talk about it the more that comes out. But yeah. I just don't, you know, a lot of people right now sitting behind their keyboards and sitting behind their computers and just acting like they...

You know, like they've got them forensic lawyers and nobody knows anything except the people who are working on this case. And I do not want to make any strong comments until we find out more. So there you go. Coleman has spoken. All right, y'all. Who baited you to talk about me? Who baited me? A lot of people have been asking me to talk about it.

A lot of people have been putting up and saying, hey, here's new stuff coming out. And nobody's baiting me. I knew we would probably mention it. It's just that I didn't feel like talking about it because we had other stuff to do. We had a full plate. If I'm going to stop everything when we have a full plate. I want to make sure that it's something that more than we can work with.

That's right. He's not a part of who baited me. They try to have you stop the show. Which Disney princess would you fuck? All right, man. Come on, let's just keep... Can we move on? That's not important. Yeah, so... Ariel. But, you know... What's that? The boondocks? How so?

Well, you know how, you know, when Boondocks, when they talk about Tyler Perry. Oh, yeah. You know what? They didn't talk about Tyler Perry no more. Shit, that's another reason why I didn't mess with this shit. Yeah, Tyler Perry said, stop.

Pull that. You can see that episode no more now. You said Martin Luther King before that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me see here, y'all. Oh, what's that? Even Diddy. They talking about Diddy? Yeah. Anything? They talking about everybody now. They talking about everybody. Talked about the damn Booty Warrior and everybody. Fleet Johnson. Shit, Booty Warrior took up half an episode. Shit did. Shit, that was about him. Yeah. And boy, whoever did the art was.

Perfect on that. I'm a warrior. I see you choosing the hard way. So I call him Chris Hampson. I'll call you Chris Hampson. All right. Well, y'all know I forgot, man. We got such a nut. these discussions. I forgot that we have this poll. And this is a poll, no big theme, just movies that have been out there that we've been trying to get for probably years now.

We'll get to them eventually. Start probably with this poll right here. And this is from Kevin King. Let me make sure he only has one poll. No, he's got two. I was going to say page one of. I was going to say. Okay. You know what? Page one of three. No, he has two right here. And it makes sense. Yeah. And I think this could probably go a certain way. So you have two things. You have one poll where we can try to go for things that you've been asking for for a while, which is.

Another Steven Seagal special, Hard to Kill. Clifford, which actually looks pretty fun to me. Highlander 2, The Quickening, Ghost of Mars, and The One that we have not been able to get yet. Speaking of bad wigs, right? Yeah. Now... for the for the other very special poll you have let me download this right here does not let me do anything hold on

Hold on. I'm just going to download this because I don't think I have to do that. I think I play it right here. Oh, this is something else that has been talked about mainly by me. And y'all might not. You know what? Actually, I say y'all would probably like this, but. that a lot of people probably won't. Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. Definitely not the Freddy's I remember. You're thinking of the franchise location. This?

is the original. Nobody's been here for decades. Some little girl got murdered here. Do you guys hear that? Hear what? Somebody said too soon. What, like it died? Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure, right. Man, we did War of the Worlds 25 hours later, which I'm talking about too soon. Play Day, we did like, you know, three days later. Yeah, it came out that week.

Yeah. Craven, what, the month in? The first we did real quick, I think, was Madam Web. Madam Web, yeah. Madam Web was like about within a month, I think, or something like that. So tell you what.

Tell you what, I'm going to do this just, I don't like to take up time doing this too much, but I'm going to do it today because y'all got me confused with this. I'm just going to go ahead and make a quick, very quick poll. I heard they do her dirty in that movie too. Who? Old girl from Ghostbusters, that one. The blonde. Is she from Ghostbusters? Is she from Ghostbusters? Yeah, she plays the daughter. The new Ghostbusters? No. She plays the kid, Egon's granddaughter? No. The girl in this?

The blonde girl at the beginning. Oh, the blonde girl at the beginning. Yeah. Not the one who's dating. What's his name? The one that you showed in the podcast thing. Which pole do y'all want? She looks different. Name's McKenna Grace or something? Let me see here. Yeah, McKenna Grace. Yeah, she plays Egon's granddaughter. Oh, yeah. She just looks different. Let me see here. One or two. I'll go ahead and make this two minutes long. Y'all can tell me which one you want.

Because if you choose Five Nights at Freddy's, all you got to do is just get 50 subs. All right. So y'all go ahead and start voting now. Let me see. What you barking at, boy? He's mad about something. Just always bargain. And he really does start shit with other dogs. So Mojo, I think, and actually I think that they just kind of, that's their thing now.

I think that's just the way of just having a conversation because he goes out there and calls them out. Yeah. There's two dogs, like those big Game of Thrones dogs next door that they're not there all the time. They visit for holidays. Oh. So I think Mojo... So it's his friends. I think those are his friends. Because he goes up there and I know that he's looking for him because he keeps calling him. And then they just...

They get out the gate, they talk real loud, and they just go about their way. Play some dominoes. Mojo just speaks in all caps. Yo, man, we right here. I can tell you which one's going to win. Poll number one. So there you go. Everybody wants poll number one. So I'll tell you what, here's what you do. We need 50 subs in order to get that poll. So we get to 1090. Very easy number right there. 1090, then.

somebody out there playing poker who said that cigars that was y'all super fan fan uh if we get to 1090 Then we get to do that poll that you voted for, that first poll. So, see, that didn't take too long. Get away from that girl's ass right there. Come on. No. Come on. Don't fart in your face. Get away from me. Found me. I paid extra for that. Enjoy the habits. Baskin the habits. Baskin the habits. Mojo and two Debo's.

So what's Clifford about? Man, look up the... I'm not going to do it right now. You look up the trailer for Clifford. It's crazy. Have you ever seen the movie? I don't think I have. I just remember watching the trailer all the time. I think I saw a couple of clips. Is it Charles Groton? Yeah, Charles Groton. Martin Short. Yeah, Martin Short. He plays a little kid. Yeah. Like a real bad little kid. Yeah.

Sort of on the level of the movie we're talking about tonight. Yeah. Phone number one came in. Grow mad. That hardly ever works out well. No. Smart and short. Tell you what, man. 1090. If we get to 1090, then we actually are able to do the poll. I don't see y'all making any moves yet, though.

No smooth moves. No smooth moves. But Clifford, if you watch the trailer, it looks like they just cut scenes of Charles Grodin yelling at that dog in Beethoven and just put it in there. He just sit there hollering the same way. All right, here we go. Alex the Just Okay came in and gave five subs. Joey the Jedi, good man, gave a sub. If more people came in and just gave one individual sub, we'd be well on our way.

Let's see. Adil Mangalan came in and gave us a sub. Thank you. G. Colby says, can somebody send me a sub? How about you give a sub? Oh, man, look at this. We're about to get that. The Girth Brooks. Oh, look at that. Who makes great hype trains, gave a sub. And then we got Griot Blue gave five subs. I think that's the first time for him. If not, thank you. And thank you for tonight. TNPinMan85 gave 10 subs. JoJo. JoJo Hibana. JoJo Hibana. Yeah. JoJo. I'm sorry. JoJo Shibana.

Gave a sub. Kiki. Kiki Tootie. Gave two subs. Thank you. So what did I say we need to get to 1090? 1090, yeah. We're at 1063, y'all. 1063, we need 27 more. There you go. We're well on our way, I think. So Clifford was originally supposed to be played by a kid. But Problem Child was already being filmed. So they went with a different approach. Yes, they fucking did. Get this 43-year-old man.

You're standing on his knees and playing a damn kid. Because even Martin Short was too tall for that. Big Riv came in, gave five subs. What is this? Woco Nutty. Woco Nutty gave a sub. I appreciate that. Every sub counts, y'all. Every sub counts. Let me see. 1067, it says. I'm sure we're way above that right now. Fresh and see. Oh. 10.69. So we need 21 more, y'all. 21. Point of no return at this point. Yotsuba Fan Fan, thank you for the sub. Gifted a sub to Average Watch.

Bobcat Matt came in here and sat with all these subs right here. Five subs. Let me see. Making some progress. 1077. Y'all, we need 13 more. We need to go to 1090. 13 more, y'all. Y'all got this. How's it glorious? Hallelujah. How's it glorious? Came in here with a sub. Crate of Cougars. I love a crate of Cougars. It's your favorite thing? It's my favorite thing. I died right in. Gave a sub. We're getting there, y'all. We're getting there. We're getting there, y'all. Almost there.

10.83, y'all. Seven more. Seven more. You can do this. Make it happen. I believe in you. When nobody else believes in you, I do. And y'all can make this. Seven subs. Oh! Oh, he strutted back in here to give a sub. Mr. Brooklyn Dandy giving a dandy sub. Oh, the dandy sub, sweetest candy sub over there. Oh, Wokonotty. Wokonotty gave two more subs. So just three more?

Just about. Let me see. My man's math is tight over here. 1085. Five more, Martin. Your math is not so tight. No, they ain't wrong. I believed in you, Martin. Austin CK gave a sub. Thank you. And also comes with the fuck Mark murders. No, he didn't say that. He didn't say that Mark. He's thinking it though. But always. Oh, folks, we are. Let me see here.

We're almost there. Boy, y'all going to make us work for these last few subs, but we're going to get there. Two more. Two more. Two more, y'all. Come on now. Come on now. You got this. Y'all can do this. Keep looking at that ass over there and give us up. That's a crazy picture. What is that anyway? Did you mark? You see how they've seen myself racing, do you? And you're complaining. JJ Panda.

I think we're here. I mean, I wouldn't be looking like that. Yeah, we all would be. And we're there at 1090, right at 1090. Thank you so much. Happy New Year, everybody. We got it. There we go. King at us. Thank you. Yeah. Got a fedora on the beach. Got a fedora on the beach. I got a fedora on it.

You know, I got to protect my head. Exactly. It's hot out there. You talking about a girl, I'm going to tear that ass off. You don't know who you fucking with. You don't know who you messing with. Yeah, you should have never came out here today. Yeah, that's right. Wrong decision, girl. You should have put on some pants today, girl.

All right. Well, we're at 1091, actually. So let's go ahead and make that a poll. But before you do that, let me give you your choices here. You have Hard to Kill, Clifford. Highlander 2, The Quickening, Ghost of Mars, and The One. Which one will you choose? Well, we're going to figure that out right now as we go over here and make this new poll. And let's see, new poll. And what is the next roast? Question mark.

We'll start with hard to kill. Hard to kill now. I swear we didn't know. Clifford. Oh, the one and only. Don't put few one. The one. A ghost of Mars and Highlander. All right. Look at that. You got all that. I'm not even thinking. I should have started fucking with you. You should have. You know that's what gets me. Throws me off. Starts to get me off. You know that's what throws me off.

That's why I can never get those things. All right. You have 10 minutes to vote. No channel points required. No additional votes allowed. And voting starts meow. And there we go, y'all. You got two Statham movies on there. Let me see here. I really am glad that the Julians are made up, man. That's really nice. Jesus Christ. Oh, shit. We might be getting...

Maybe not. I was thinking we might be getting one that we've been trying to get for a while. Oh, man. Okay. Well, then I know which one it is. Yeah. OK, y'all are making some progress here. We might we might be getting a long awaited roast. I actually cannot wait because I haven't even seen this movie and I've been saving all this time to watch this movie for a roast. So there we go, y'all. Go Clifford. Yeah.

Everybody got a problem, child, man. Should we scrap the script? No. No. Call Martin Short. We got this. What if? Hear me out. Stay with me. All right. I think that this is, even this early on, I think that this is done. very far ahead i don't think any of this gonna catch up but uh we'll tell you what that is after the show because we're gonna go ahead and get into this roast right now let me see here make sure everything's okay no big announcements just yet i will

actually let me see i think that we can do this now i think that uh let me see double toasted ny i think that we can actually start selling tickets now for my show in New York. Maybe not. Maybe not. I thought Felix told me we could do this today. But anyway, let me see here. Wait a minute. What? Oh, this is old.

I thought the show was canceled. My deepest apologies to anyone who bought tickets for the upcoming New York show. You'll be receiving a refund. I didn't hear anything about that. He'd get a refund before he even bought a ticket. Yeah. And it says, my cousin just died in London. I was like, Felix's cousin just died? I was like, oh, wait a minute. That's an old post right there. Congratulations on graduating from high school. What? Yeah, let me see here.

Double toasted NY dot com. And no, it's not taking me to where you can get tickets, but I tell you what, when it happens. I got to figure out what Felix is doing here. When it happens, you'll know. I got a show coming up, comedy show coming up on April 17th back at the Broadway Comedy Club. That's a Saturday, I believe. 9 p.m. show. Going to be in the bigger room, I think.

and you got plenty of time to buy your tickets and let's go ahead and fill that room i had seen y'all new york for a while a lot of people saying happy to have me coming back so i'll be happy to see you

be even happier if we can fill that room. We had a great turnout in Chicago, sold out. Be nice if we could do the same thing in New York, which we always do sell out, but that's in a smaller room. In fact, we violate the fire code every time. So yeah, but this time, let's see if we do not violate the fire code.

code let's fill that room legally and you've been told about it as soon as uh tell you what let me ask felix i should not i know i should not call felix but i'm gonna do it anyway because i just want to make sure your funeral Yeah. You know what? Hours. Everybody go over there. We're all here. Yeah. Having a...

New Year's Eve party, y'all. So if y'all have been regulars at the New Year's Eve party, well, just know that it's happening. And at short notice, I already have a few people coming by. It's going to be fun. It's going to be a lot of fun. There's a lot of people I can't wait to see. What time?

It starts around 8 o'clock. Oh, 8. Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, yeah, it starts around 8, but people be dragging in throughout the night. So Johnny Neal's coming. Yeah, yeah. I had lunch with him. Told him about it. Yeah. No, he called me up. May I come to your party? And I said, hell no. I told you to come to this party. Did I tell you to come to this party? Oh, Johnny Neal is great. I love Johnny Neal. Oh, let me see here. Hey, Siri, call Felix Speaker. You sure?

You want to do that? All right, man. Let's see. All right. Is 100 no more here? Somebody said, do you think you hook up with Christian Harlow from New York? At some point, I do. Yeah, he's living in New York now. Oh, that's right. He's living there now. Felix. Felix? Felix! I'm going to kill you, Felix. Felix, he did answer, but I guess he's not. I guess he don't want to. Hey, what's up? Hey, did I wake you up? Yeah. Yep, what's up?

Now you see how we feel. No, no. Hey, man. So the link for the tickets, are they already being sold? No, no, no. Not yet, no. Okay. Do you know about when? Yeah, like I said, I was getting the graphic approved by you first, and tomorrow I'm going to try to get that over to Rich. It should be before next week. Okay.

All right. No problem. I'm just telling people about it. Just want to make sure they get an idea when tickets are being sold. So there you go. Sometime next week, y'all. Hey, Felix, sorry to disturb you, man. All right. Talk to you later. Bye. Oh, yeah. I should talk to him more when he's asleep. In and out. Yeah, yeah. He ain't telling no crazy jokes.

Yeah, and notice he ain't repeating himself. Boy, he's just, you know, when he's sleepy and sedate, like he talks like a normal person. Yeah, yeah. Wait a second. Ring, ring. I know. I'll call you back. Hey, by the way, that water don't kill him? Oh, have you heard? I'm awake now. Shit. What y'all doing? Never mind, I'll come over. There you go, y'all. Y'all got the show on April 17th. Tickets should go on sale next week. And can't wait to see you over there. Let me see here. Also.

You need to know about kcoolmans at gmail.com. That is k-c-o-o-l-m-a-n-z at gmail.com. Email us with any kind of questions, comments, comments, comments, answers, input, blah, blah, no advice. Hit us up on those social medias, Instagram. Look to your face, Facebook, X for me, Twitter. You know what time it is with that ticky-tock. And Patreon. Type in Double Toast and all those places are going to take you where you need to be.

martin thomas you can find me on instagram at martin underscore no fro or message me through double toaster.com billy hey you can find me that's as far as in the corner 65 river shows thursday through saturday 7 to 9 p.m corey and If you find yourself here in Austin, Texas, come on down and see a show. You better email us first, though. kcoolmans at gmail.com. Let us know what those plans are for Austin. Let us know what show you want to see, what day you're getting here, what time.

what else you want you know the more information you can give us to help us the more that we can help you all right laughter laughter Oh, here it is. Not my tempo. Oh, look at it. She's about to get in on it. Yeah, yeah. You guys are pitchy. Stop. She's like, let me show you how to do this. So, just real quick before we get into this, I was about to... Somebody told me about some studio space that was reasonably priced. Really? Except it's...

Off of? BK's room. Ah, oh, well. That's close to you. That's close to me. Closer to you than me. Yeah. Which is probably what I think going to happen. Yeah. I'm trying to find something more central. But yeah, somebody found some space for me. At least that's what they said. which could be on BK. Yeah, that's kind of a pricey area. They said it was a thousand dollars a month. Really? Yeah. OK, so I think that I could probably do something extra on the show.

you know, something I've made, do some fundraiser every month or something to pay for the space if I really want to. But the only thing I don't like about that, y'all, is that I want something more central because Bee Caves is kind of out the way. That's a schlup. Yeah, because the whole point of getting a studio is not... for us it's like the for y'all to come visit so even though that's further south it's still it's kind of a trek for me because it's

Like coming here, I get directly on Mopac, just straight. Really? To get out where you're saying, it sounds like I have to go 360. Yeah. No, BJ's got to go 360. Yeah. No other way to get there. Yeah. As much as I... No, I'm waiting for the guy to give me the person who is the... who are the least information or the least person for this or whatever, because they might be able to tell me about something else. Maybe. Space is hard to find for that kind of price.

And plus, I ain't even seen the specs. Am I getting there? I know. Well, it's a bit of a fixer-upper, but you're like, oh. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Once you get the raccoons out, it'll be a nice place. The King of Belize says, oh, I'd missed. the casa de coleman yeah yeah hey listen y'all if i can find something again kind of close to where i was uh before like we had we had a real good spot at the highland we did yeah even yeah that's funny somebody had

wrote to us recently. They were in town wanting to come see a show, but I missed it. I saw them like, well, it's my last day, but your studio is still downtown on Fifth Street, right? And I was like, oh no, we haven't been there for a decade. Oh, yeah, yeah. So they shouldn't come anywhere. They ain't been keeping up with us. All right. Here we go, y'all. Let's see here. Is this thing over? Yeah, it's over. So the thing that won is the one.

oh yeah no yeah that's what i figured finally got to it i heard that that's pretty bad so we'll uh we'll get to that pretty soon all right y'all let's see let me see here all right y'all let's go

and get started with this evening's roast people we are about to see the further adventures of by your demand the further adventures of Dylan the villain. Still out there chilling. And killing. And Dylan, boy. This is Adopted. Y'all love that roast. And y'all could not wait to get to Adopted. part two, which is a Tubi original. This is Taylor. Welcome. Please, please come in. I'm a hugger. Mom. I've always wanted an older brother. Whoa.

Be careful with that. You know, sometimes these adoptions can be tricky. You think we made the right decision, baby? Do you think this was all too fast? i just want to be part of the family it's okay All questions you should ask before you adopt somebody. But they never do. Is that a pizza? No. Especially with this little bastard. Yeah, I know. Yeah, Dylan's still out there looking for love. And if he can't find it...

Then your ass is dead. I'll fuck you up. If it ain't the exact way he wants it, you know you're dead. Yeah. Yeah. If you can't give Dylan the love he needs, you die. He's not even trying to cry right anymore. That's how much you don't give a fuck no more. Exactly. And so if y'all know anything about these adopted movies right here, these are 2B originals. And it's about a little boy named Dylan. Dylan didn't have the best times coming up. He had very abusive parents.

threw that hot grease on them legs. And ever since then. He got that hot grease on the legs. He got that body that hot foot. Exactly. Got them legs looking like beef jerky down there. So all he wants to do is just find the perfect family that will love him. For the little evil ass that he is. And as we said, if you can't give him the love that he needs, then your ass has got to go. Rinse and repeat. He could just leave.

No, no, no. Everybody got to be taught a lesson. You will know the legend of Dylan. I burned the house down the way out. Literally. Yeah. So last time. Yeah, when last we left our hero. When last we left Dylan the villain, Dylan had just...

was just on the verge of killing his whole family. He took a couple of people down, pushed his mama down the steps. Yep. Fucked up the dad. Yeah, man. Fucked up the dad. Yeah, man. Fucked up the dad. Yeah. And just as he was a... about to take dad out the cops show up and what do you know they show up and dylan is armed and the cops all pull out their weapons And Dylan said, y'all ain't shit. Yeah, y'all don't know who y'all messing with.

By the way, if you want anybody who is experiencing child abuse, please talk to me after watching this whole movie. I got the nerve to throw that out there. After gunfire. So, everybody thought, well... That's that. Guess we're not getting an adopted part two. Bullshit. So people say, all right, so obviously we have an adopted part two. How the hell... Did Dylan get out of that situation? You know what? We're going to get to that later. Because where Dylan is at now.

And what he's doing now is way crazier than that. And believe me, that is crazy. Yeah, man. So what's Dylan doing right now? Needless to say, Dylan got away. Somehow, someway. And we pick up with Adopted 2. Our little man is in an insane asylum where he belongs. And you know what he...

He got that white robe on. They got his little ass. Yeah. That doesn't look like Gandhi or something like that. Yeah, for real. I'm like, and Dylan got a tan too. Yeah, he got a little darker. But the thing with Dylan, okay, you know.

Bygones be bygones. I mean, Dylan's trying to get some help. And the thing is, Dylan is adjusting okay. I mean, Dylan is walking through the mental home and people are... actually you know saying hey what's up dylan dylan's getting along with the staff everybody likes him a lot what's up steve what's up dylan how you doing buddy okay the problem is well not

Everybody likes Dylan. You know, Dylan always got one enemy, and it's usually a little black kid with cornrows. Yeah, Dylan got a type. Yeah, he does, he does. Keep your black ass away from me. Yeah. He brings out the words to young black people. With cornrows. Right, that's true. So, yeah, he's got his own, a new personal bully at this place. And the other problem is that no one is running the place.

Yeah. Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah. So the place is like, it's like a combination of prison and high school where the bullies are just out of control. Like my man, Dylan, really Dylan's.

Dylan's cool. Dylan's not bothering anybody. He's like, I got to get the hell out of here. So Dylan's on his best behavior. Let me just do my time. Let me just do my time and get the hell out of here. But it's hard to do that when you got little bastards like this coming behind you. Yeah, shoving your face in the mashed potatoes. And Dylan's like, any other fucking day. Any other day.

He keeps smiling when he does it. Hey, look, Dylan. Everybody's like, oh, shit, because Dylan's got that that's your ass look. Yep, he does. And at any other time, it would be. Oh! Jesus. Now that's a dream sequence right there. Yeah, yeah. Because Devin's got to keep it cool. Because he really has made some progress. And that progress, believe it or not, it's about to pay off.

I'm going to recommend release in three more months. And if you keep up the great behavior, it could be even less. That's great news right there, man. The only thing is. No one's here to see a Dylan that's making progress. No one's here to see a same Dylan. Well, not just that, but even him saying like, man, you've been doing real well.

Probably going to let you out in three months. I'm like, you must not have been checking on him. Because even in that interview, he says a lot of things that are red flags. Oh, yeah. Like, what? I think he got the files mixed up. Yeah, I know. I don't think that's Dylan's file.

Yeah, I don't think about killing people anymore. Now bring in the kid that murdered his family, his adopted family. He was like, you'll get out of here in three months. Dylan's like, you sure you got the right shit on that? Well, y'all saying like- Check my name. Y'all saying like three months. How's he getting out in three months?

He needs to be in here longer. And Dylan's like, bullshit. Because that's the thing, man. We can't make a movie with a scene, Dylan. This is bullshit. Let me just check your chart here. Fuck it! He said, did you say three months? Yeah, only three months. That's way too goddamn long. Let me just take your chard here.

That's the Dylan we know right there. That's the Dylan we came to see. That's my Dylan. He picked up like some kind of like a war. Like I was looking at the table and I didn't see anything on.

There's a big-ass crystal award that he picked up. Oh, award, okay. Yeah, that's why you couldn't see it because it was crystal. Okay. Hey, you can't see it, but you can feel that shit. Yeah, yeah. It's like suddenly it was in his hand. He was coming down. You see he can't wait for it to turn around because he's fidgeting like, oh. One of them goddamn 10 Commandment blocks. You got a homicidal maniac in your office and you just gonna turn around. Where are those papers? You never see it coming.

It looks like don't you ever turn your back on me. Let me just take your chart here. Please don't you ever turn your back on me. Put all that goddamn fruit juice on that. All that grape jelly. Bitch, don't you have it. You gonna tell me I got three months to go, you gonna turn your back on me? That's on you. Exactly. You ain't read my chart again. And they call me crazy. That's on you. Yeah, if you get killed by an eight-year-old, that is on you. And so...

And so now, because in this insane asylum where they leave full matchboxes just randomly lying on tables in front of mental patients, as you can see right there, Dylan picks him up and... He decides to set the place on fire. You can see he's striking matches right there. My man lay it out. You're like, oh yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna burn this bitch down. My man lay it out like this. Yeah.

Yeah, he finds this full matchbox. A full matchbox. A full matchbox in a mental home in front of mental patients. He picks it up and commences to set in the building on fire. It walks out smooth, too. It's OK to be yourself. Especially if you're crazy. And luckily for Dylan, he picked the one mental institution that has no sprinkler system. No, none, none. And also.

The one with the worst security. Yes. The security don't do shit because Dylan don't even have to do no stealthy video game sneaking shit. He just rolls up on security, just stun guns. Hey, what's that? Surprise. Surprise. Got him doing pop dance. He goes around. Like this really is some video game shit. He just goes around and takes the whole staff out one by one with his little stun gun.

He commences to take it out the whole staff, one stun at a time. He makes it look easy. Oh, yeah. He does, doesn't he? And on his way out, he gets some. He gets some gift back to those people. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So that boy with the cornrows, he takes out his little lackey first. Stopping his bitch ass out. Boy, you should see a young man when he fell. Look at us. Oh, Lord. This life is... Lord have mercy. He should just put his hand up. Yeah. Oh, swoon. He looked up at him. Oh, swoon.

Look at his ass up. Quick, look at this shit. Look at his ass up, motherfucker. He just... He leaves him on down. Shit, man. My man even took out mashed potatoes over here, man. Mashed potatoes had it coming. Yeah, he did. Sadly, they don't even show him taking him out. It's just like, look, you know he did something. Yeah. And after a productive day of murder and mayhem, my man just casually strolls out the middle. Y'all gonna learn, God damn it. He had a little skippity step. So, but the...

That's all good. You know, that's cool. Boy, a 10-year-old boy took out a whole mental facility and burned that shit to the ground. Burned it around. Grown-ass people. Yeah, took out, killed the whole staff. Did they tell you later on? And all the patients. Yeah. All the patients, they say everybody died in this fire right here, except we can't find Dylan. Right, right. He must be under the rubble somewhere. Nobody identified as little old Dylan right there.

So, yeah, my man, he took out a whole building of adults and kids. Killed everybody. Somehow managed to get out. And this is the first five minutes. This is. But the question still remains. Just. How did Dylan get out of that little sticky wicket at the end of part one?

You see, my man, that is Detective Dante from the last movie. He was the last person to come in there and see Dylan at the end of part one. And you see that. Detective Dillon, he's having nightmares right now just thinking about what happened at the end of part one. So what exactly did happen? I can't believe he shot me. I mean, all my officers fired. Not one bullet hit him. So, so, so, so. I was waiting for this. We were thinking about you. We were all thinking like.

He just shoot the cops and get away. Like, no, that can't be what happened. We all said this. And we said, but no, that would be too easy, too simple, and too stupid. Right. What, 13 cops and not one bullet? No, it was four. It was four cops, because I saw it earlier. It was four cops. So a 10-year-old, because I'm going to show you right here. I told you how to stop shooting with your eyes closed. Because these cops came in. Let me see. Yeah. So there they are. It was four cops. So four cops.

Came in and armed cops came in and a 10 year old got the drop on them. Who didn't even have his gun out. No. And then somehow got away. So just how did that happen? Explain yourself. Yeah, well, he was too quick for y'all. Okay. I mean. You guys were fucking with an 11-year-old, you know? So there's the answer right there. They suck. And apparently, Dylan is bulletproof on The Flash.

Because he dodged bullets. Either they hit him and didn't do anything and his little ass was out. I mean, you know, these guys are either going back to marksman's training or they're fired. Especially two uniformed cops. You know y'all are done, right?

I said, y'all need to work for the empire. Y'all should be storing 2%. I know the wife is like, well, he was just a little too quick for y'all. You should probably do something else to do. You don't need to be a cop no more, baby. You got shot by Tino. Because that's... to his wife and she probably, you know, he's probably making most of the money. She being nice. Yeah, I guess so. He was just a little too quick, which means you motherfuckers suck. Yeah, yeah. God damn.

Y'all let a 10-year-old get the drop on y'all. Now, one of y'all hit him, but he got your ass. But he tagged your ass, didn't he? I can't believe this is your baby. Shit, I can't. Shit, like, yeah, me either. God damn. Jesus. Waking up every night for having nightmares of 10-year-old sugar. I can't believe you shot me. You didn't get your bosses, that's why you stole a suspension. You probably have nightmares of you sucking, that's what you- Yeah, exactly. No!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, motherfuckers. That last one was for him. Yeah, right? Even Dylan was like, I can't believe y'all some sorry motherfuckers. He's like, this is too easy. He's about to wake up with nightmares like a pussy. Sweating, dreaming about a goddamn 10-year-old. Yo, yo, fucking him up. Oh, shit, I can't believe you. and then booked out yeah well they must have caught him to get him in the mental institution yeah I guess so I guess so

Because he let them. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, you know, I really don't have anywhere else to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shouldn't have an ice cream at a... He thought about a Chuck E. Cheese. Chuck E. Cheese pizza. I wonder what took you so long. No, I ate too much pizza. I don't feel like running. Don't suppose you want to go again.

Look, I ain't gonna know until I spend these tickets, just so you know. All right, go ahead and spend your tickets, but then you never know. Then you gotta come with us. What? Nothing? So now... So now that Dylan has escaped again, he would ease, burn that place down. Simple. Fuck everybody up. Then nobody escaped the wrath of Dylan. Right. Not one more call. Nobody got a hit in. So now that Dylan's a ghost out there again, the cops got to pull the Dylan task force together.

This time, y'all. Y'all gotta be ready for this shit. You think I'm bullshitting? I got a string board dedicated to Dylan right there. Where could he be? God damn nationwide band up for a 10-year-old. But, Lieutenant, what about El Chapo? Fuck that shit. We got to fight. We'll get his ass later. They can't find a goddamn 10 year old out there. Fuck a real life chunky out there. Catching drug lords and shit. They can't catch him. They can't catch a 10 year old. On a murder spree. Yeah.

A 10-year-old who just burned the whole fucking building down. Got fucking FBI posters of them in the post office and shit. I'm about to say they got a Dillon Warzone. Dillon Task Force. I love it. They got a whole strain board. They got all these, look at these little playful pictures. He's playing with toys in the past. We gotta get this ruthless motherfucker out.

I might not make it back tonight, baby. I got that damn picture up here with drug dealers and biker gangsters. Exactly. And this little motherfucker right here. Picture him next to Jason Voorhees. But. So now they got the Dillon task force out there. And we get to return to some familiar faces. You might remember Detective Dante's partner. He's back too. Hey, what's going on, man? Why are we back in Oakland? They can't find me. They can't find who? They can.

It's like, why do you keep doing that? These cuts are hard. Oh, this editor should be shot. The editing is terrible. He shows him and it cuts back. What's his name? You're the one that shot you, bitch. that the kid. I'm sorry I asked. Like I said, there's a nationwide police hunt for Dylan, which is being with the... treated with the urgency of a guy who stole a car. The FBI should be on this. Meanwhile, they got the local cops on this ship. But also, it's like, they can't find him. Who?

Nigro, who the fuck you think? Why didn't you just say who it was in the first sentence? Meanwhile, while the cops are looking for him, somehow Dylan has changed his name and done slipped into another adoption agency. He don't get a fake ID and shit. Yeah, there must be some old back alley adoption agency because they do less background checks than a dog. Taylor has brought so much joy to the home.

We're sad to see him go, but we're happy that he's going to be with such a great family. Listen, it's weird for any adoption agency to accept any kid that just wanders off the street without a background check. But and I feel stupid saying this. No one saw any news channel or a website or heard people talking about. The 10-year-old kid that burned down a mental facility and just committed mass murder that looks...

Really like this kid that just wandered in here. Nobody asked that question at all. Even not even thinking that he did that because maybe it's in a different county or whatever. But a kid just wanders in and says. My parents died, so I need to stay here. And they're going, yeah, okay. Somebody talking about the next town over. They...

If an adult did this, this would be international news. It would be even crazier, like a 10-year-old burned down a building and killed everybody. The whole world would know about this kid. Well, I think maybe at this point they think that he died in the fire.

They say they couldn't find him. Right, right. But they were like, well, forensics came back and they weren't able to find him. But they don't know for sure. They're playing it like, well, maybe, maybe not. Then why are they on Dylan Watch? That's those two cops. Those two detectives. But their boss came in and said, you catch that motherfucker this week. They said, their boss said, you got two weeks to catch this little bastard out there. And then we're just going to say, fuck it.

Meanwhile, they sitting around cracking jokes and shit. You got two weeks to catch this real fast. You know, the one that shot you and killed your whole team. Somebody says, are you seriously trying to ask questions about a Toopee movie? Yes, I am. Yeah. I ain't even believe it. These ain't really questions. because they don't get answered. I'm just pointing out the stupid shit that's going on with this.

This, this, this, this sequel is way crazy and dumber than that first one. It is dumber. I was like, well, you know, this is, this is crazy, but it's kind of fun. And this was. I spent most of the movie going, man, fuck this movie. I can't believe you shot me. Yeah, go back this way, man. So the new family, the new family, they are the Andrews. And something... bad was destined to happen to them no matter what because they're so perfect they gotta be punished life hasn't

throw something at their ass because even even life is like i'm getting sick of how perfect y'all are right they have a nice home everyone is beautiful and they spend they spend all day talking in quotes from like some kind of corny inspirational seminar Today can I be Jackie Robinson? You can be whoever you want. And as long as I'm here, I'll always be loved.

But that boy put that hand right on my ass. That's not her real sub. But look at this boy. He know what he's doing. I always do that. Yeah, hands. You got there. Look at him. Oh, wow. I just didn't go there. Put his hand right on. Put his hand right on that ass. He know what he's doing. always be here. I didn't like this movie, but I spent the whole movie staring at her ass the whole time. Oh hell yeah!

Look, he got his face and his titties. Yeah, yeah. I don't know how long I'm going to be here. I'm going to get all I can out this. Milk this shit literally. And even dad is like, God damn, you know what you're doing. Again, huh? I don't have any scenes past page 10, so I better make the most of it. They are so lovey-dovey and so corny that life says, I'm sick of this shit.

And decides to punish them. So this is, I mean, decides to like really do some foul shit to this. That don't happen to people all the time. It's like, this is really original. They decide to like. Leipzig's punished them by giving their 10-year-old son a heart attack. He gave this boy a heart attack. He grabbed that cone. He grabbed that cone. Oh, shit.

But hey, I know he has suffered a heart attack. I know this looks bad for him. But hey, they got one thing for them that's going to get them through. And that is love. As long as I'm here. I'll always be loved. Brothers in your life. And love is going to get them through this. Oh, hell no. He did. Cough again. That damn movie cough. When you do that movie cough. I'll be all right. No, you will not. We'll get to California one day. Yeah, sure we will. When you get that.

That booby cough, the very next scene. Yeah, yeah. That ass. That ass. You know the phrase. And from that cough and a hand. Your hand come out great ass. One last time. One last squeeze. One last squeeze. Shit, I ain't going out here. Now I can die in peace. Now I can rest. See that hand slipping? Stop that. Anything can make it do it. Well, ask Tubi. They wouldn't have cut it out. Come out there, grabber. While she's crying instead. It's okay, mom. Squeeze. I'm in a better place now.

But nothing helps a grieving parent better than going to a shady adoption agency and getting another kid to fill out that freshly blank space. Right. Like you would do a dog. Yeah, exactly. And that's where Dylan the villain comes in right here. Yeah, you're like, what are they thinking? Well, it's been a year. I was like, that ain't shit. No, that ain't shit. Take care of the ones you got now. And you know what? And I'm sure that things will go...

Much better this time. I mean, after all, we're talking about parents that... Is it real? Can I touch it? Keep a gun up on the wall for decoration. Right. But I'm sure it's not loaded. It'll be all right. It'll be fine. It'll be fine. White, they wouldn't leave a loaded gun if they were kids out there. Yeah, the dad just likes to collect shit. Exactly. A loaded gun, sure. Around little boys. Come on, it's not loaded. That's fine.

They're a good, responsible group of parents. They would never do that. And things are good for a minute, but not so much for us because... For a while, there's nothing much happening, man. Just, that's the usual that you see. Kind of like the last movie. You know, just everyone treating Dylan like a new pet getting settled in. I feel right at home.

Yeah, what's up on that last house? Yeah. He's like, I don't believe you. Also, you know, he's just like with the last house, Dylan is immediately jumping to that mom and dad. You don't got to call me dad until you're more comfortable, but... Dad! Maybe we start with Caleb. I actually like the sound of dad better. Yeah, I like the sound of that too. Yeah, what's the sound of that? Yeah, exactly. Also, mostly a good back into that old.

happy dappy shit that they were doing earlier you know talking in those inspirational phrases well now you have me brothers for life you know what brothers for life Yeah, I'm sure that's exactly what's going to happen. Also, that's what it was like before. They talk like they're in a cult. As long as I'm here, I'll always be loved.

Yeah, but Dylan was like, yeah, but how long are you going to be here? That's the cause. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you show it, look at it, look at it. Oh, but. I'll give you two weeks, buddy. But those cracks are starting to. show because you know mama got a shiny new toy up in here oh boy and when she starts shifting her attention to that shiny new kid and as long as I'm here I'll always be loved that's right

Marlon hears it because someone's always, one of these kids is always creeping around the corner doing crucial bits of dialogue. Oh, he's coming around that dark ass corner. Eavesdropping. Get off my bitch. And all that... That ass is mine. Yeah, boy, I've been waiting for... I've been waiting for my brother. Shit, he probably killed his brother. He probably...

I was next in line for that shit, too. Yeah, and this motherfucker, he just got hit. Yeah, the one with the slot machine, the next motherfucker hit the jackpot. laughter laughter And all that inspirational Brothers for Life shit, that dies real quick. That special handshake, she only does with- That ass is mine. He ain't talking about no handshake. He ain't talking about no motherfucking handshake. Look how upset he is.

That hand full of the ass was mine. I mean, that handshake was mine. That special handshake she only does with me and Kel. And I saw her do it with you. You don't deserve it yet. Oh. Me and Kel, you saw how I did to Kel. I mean. Man, two little shit. I was naked. That bottom lip stuck out. You better put that back. Oh, you all right down there?

But yeah, he flipped quick, didn't he? He sure did. And the boy, he was all like, brothers for life. Motherfucker boy. Just yesterday. Brothers for life. My brothers. As long as you stay away from that ass. There's rules. Morris! You ain't my real brother. I was just talking some shit. I'm just trying to make my mama happy. So I can get that answer.

I tell you what, you start pulling that away. All that shit goes out the window. Well, people, since we're talking about a master class of bullshit right here, we might as well go ahead and talk about master class in general. Masterclass. that's where you go where you can learn from the best of the best in their field showing you right here you got people who they teach you things from all walks of life you see right here acting art design performance

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Come down a little bit. Yeah. 500. Man, keep going. 300. $10 a month. No, get out of here. I will not get out of here, Martin. This is $10 a month. $10 a month. You're messing with me. You'll be billed annually and you will get unlimited access to over 200 classes taught by the world's best businesses. You know, my whole thing was, let me see here. I was doing, of course, since I'm in.

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I can tell you they're not doing a kind of exaggeration. It really is very cool to do this. And I do think it kind of enriches your life. And as I said, it does that for very little money. Ten dollars a month. You build annually. But hey, you know what? Boy, you should take you should take a you should teach a class on bargaining because you drive a hard bargain. But I got you right here.

Masterclass always has some great offers during the holidays, sometimes up to as much as 50% off. So head over to masterclass.com slash toasted for the current offer. That's up to 50% off at masterclass.com. I want to thank you. You've given me a class on being humble with all your support out there. And I want to thank Masterclass.

for their support i really am enjoying this i think you will too now back to our roast right here meanwhile meanwhile okay so you didn't like this i actually love a part of this movie right here because As I said, things were kind of going through the routine. Stuff we'd seen from the last movie. Stuff we can predict with this film right here. But boy, when Aunt Dee Dee comes in...

On Didi. On Didi. And I tell you what, if you weren't rooting for Dylan before. Girl, I have got some tea for you. You are now. Didi, yeah, she's a. Our Dee Dee, she can be a little much. Because I got to be me till I die. No, I'm not saying that she got killed her. I liked I liked Andy. She was one. She was the best actor in the whole. She is. And she brought a lot of flavor to it. Everybody else is pretty dry and robotic. Yeah, no.

Especially the dad. No, that actress, Lynette Tachelle, is really good. Now, I'm not saying that Didi got to die. Because, you know, Dylan did warn her. He's like, listen, I don't want to hear this shit. He warned her. He's like, I don't want to hear this shit. And you might want to pull back because you fucking with the wrong one. That's fine.

I don't like your little ass anyway. Sorry, I... Just kidding, baby. Don't get your panties in the butt. She thought she had the upper hand here, but he's like, all right. Dylan about to put her ass in check. You know, I really don't like your little girl jokes. You may want to keep those to yourself. It's kind of offensive. What if I said you look like a man and talk like a man?

Don't look at them. I'm talking to you. Hey, hey, hey. Back over there. Back over there. Dylan talking to you. I'm just joking. He's got their panties in a bunch now. I know you didn't! and what the biggest thing is. Boy, this girl, this woman's great, man. She is good. I could have watched a movie with just her and Dylan, man. Because those two are like watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Because they argue like two women. Because they get into it and...

You know, one of them walking away calling the other a bitch. Oh, look at that. Yeah, look, you put that little attitude in there. All right, it's on now. What did you get? I'm a dangerous bitch! I love it too. Ain't nobody backing down. So I'm gonna give you a chance to apologize. and make things right, for I gotta break my foot off in that ass. Huh? Me? I ain't apologizing for shit I didn't do.

Uh-oh, I haven't met her match. Oh, you got the devil in you. I got you looking, too. I got to exercise the demon out, too. You got the devil in you, boy. No, come get this, kid. And living with black people has rubbed off on Dylan. Are you threatening me? Cause I don't do good with threats. Well, it ain't a threat sister.

Oh! She's like, one more goddamn warning to the motherfucker, I swear to God. Yeah, yeah, Dylan like, he didn't let them know, y'all bringing the nigga out of me now. And I ain't even having it in there before. Yeah, yeah, y'all better, y'all. I better step back. Bad things happen to bad people. And right now, you're skating on thin ice, my brother.

Look, man. I ain't even mad. You just got to work on that. Even later on, you're like, yo, you tripping. Put that last one. My brother. My brother. But you know this, always before. like, oh, yes, it's so great to be mom and dad. And right there, look at his face. He's serious. Oh, yeah. All that. He dropped all that. And he's saying his lines with his chest. Bad people. And right now. You're skating on thin ice, my brother.

Yo, this ain't dope or fresh. Hands up and down your ass. But they keep on pushing him, man, because he told him, all right, y'all see I'm bringing this black out of me now, but they keep on messing with him. I'm gonna call my sister and I'm gonna get permission to beat that ass. All right. I guess we got to do this Dylan's way now. What are y'all doing up here? People don't ever, don't ever be around those steps when Dylan's around.

He pushed her ass down like she was a bouncer. Yeah, but he had to get some leverage, bro. Yeah, she did. Some momentum, bro. Don't go around those steps from Dylan's. No, no. Not even three steps. No, look at, boy, them steps are free. Yeah, yeah.

He gets a drop on your ass. What are y'all doing up there? Oh, she going upstairs. Man, from this moment, it's just one what the fuck moment after. Constant mayhem. After Dee Dee falls out of step, she's in a coma now. She's in a coma. Her brain is swelling. She's in a coma. Got Dee Dee sleeping.

I think he might have cracked her on the head with that golf club, too. I was going to say, she ain't fought that hard, man. Yeah. She was down. He cracked her in the head. Okay. Yeah, she in a coma. And so... Dylan says, you know what, now that she's out, it's time to finish the job. Figured that chain on too. My man came in and he said, I'm going to finish the job. I got to take care of this shit. I can't have this bitch waking up.

Dylan, look at this, y'all. This little boy sneaked into the hospital and hid. And hid behind the door. Hid behind the door. Yeah. Right. Close that door, bitch. I got business. Yeah, he knows how to utilize his size. See that chain, before you see his face, that chain sparkles like a motherfucker. He wearing like a damn disco ball. Yeah, that silver polish. Now, and quickly.

Aunt Deedee wakes up from the coma. Of course, man. I was going to say, she ain't every day. And they say her brain might be foggy, but she's like, I remember everything. Good thing she had a phone on her while she was in a coma because she pulls the phone out.

and immediately calls the cops. Yeah, because that's what they do. They give you your phone when you're in the hospital just in case you wake up. Her phone is just right there in her pocket while she's in the coma. And she's like, it's a good thing this thing is still charged. And so she calls the police. with the same attitude that she had before she got attacked. I gotta find that little nigga.

Okay, okay. I don't know how you can hate that part. That was the best. That was the best. No, man. Aunt Dee Dee's the best. And she's saying all sideways, too. Yeah, look, I'm leaning in. But it just rolls off the top. Even when she called, she said I was a kid. She said, I was assassinated. Somebody tried to assassinate me. But he didn't. I bought that nigga, man.

Shit, she want to fight me. She had a crazy motherfucker too, right? And of course, the police don't believe her, especially when she said where they live. It's Ava and Caleb Andrews. They live on 45... one Elm Street. Oh, shit. Elm Street? So I guess Freddy Krueger's after Union Dreams too, right? God damn it. There is a real Elm Street that you live on. There are several Elm Streets in the world. Hey, look at that police station. Nothing's going on. He ain't busy. He's talking to Chief Wiggum.

Okay, I'll do my miserable typewriter. Yeah, and by the way, you get these calls, you're supposed to respond no matter what. No matter what. Yeah, this bitch fucking around. Yeah, yeah, whatever, bitch. Yeah, whatever. Fake ass address. It's actually real. I said fake ass address. And even she tried to teach you like, do you want help me go flirt with me? And you're like, I ain't flirting with you. So I'm laughing at your stupid ass. Yeah, little kid.

So she gets up and just leaves the hospital and says, I gotta take care of this myself. With her brain half swollen. It'd be like, uh-uh, uh-uh. Sit back down, lay back down. Well, Detective Dickhead ain't gonna do that. No, he ain't gonna do it. damn thing except make jokes. Yeah, yeah. Freddy Krueger. Lunchtime. What are you doing instead of that? Yeah.

Where'd he try to kill you? Sleepaway camp? Yeah, and even his boss is like, what was that called? Somebody on Elm Street. Oh, Elm Street. What are y'all doing? Anybody gonna check this out? Yeah. Yeah, I'm flirting. Let's have a date at Camp Crystal Lake. Right. I was like, who was that? Oh, some asshole called 911. And meanwhile at home. Dylan is busy spreading lies about his adopted brother Marlon and boiling his hamster. Ah!

She was dancing too, right? Yeah, she was talking shit. She thought, shit, I'm about to get a good meal right now. Oh, yeah. Eat that hamster. Right, right. Fuck it. And it's like Marlon telling, like, something is wrong with Dylan. He's doing weird shit. You find the hamster in there.

And still don't like, yeah, but still though. Oh, Jesus. Dylan's cool. Yeah, you know. You need to give him a chance. I know you're jealous and you're going through things, but give him a chance. I love it though. It's like both these families, like everything was the same.

Now we got something different. Now shit's different. That's just logic. Yeah, all of a sudden we find the hamsters in the suit. Right, right, right. And even the kid is like, they got lines in here like, sorry my hamster was in your suit, mom. That's a line in the blue.

Nobody can put two and two together. I guess I dropped him in there at some point. That's what he's very casual about. Jesus. Yeah, no, no. He escaped the cage and lifted the lid and climbed in himself. Obviously, A-Rod, that's his name, committed suicide. Right, right. But it's like, you got to take better care of your pets. They're jumping in the soup and all kinds of shit. Mom, your soup was just smelling too good. What about the hamps? But things really blow up when the Andrews...

Caleb and Ava, the husband and wife, when they start getting buyer's remorse finally and Dylan hears them because, you know, as I said, someone's always creeping around the corner at the right time when he hears them talking about, yeah, maybe we need to take his ass back. Maybe we should look into some other options. I mean, Mason is our biological son and Dylan is just adopted. Maybe we should look into finding him the new home.

Uh-oh, that's a big Dylan No-No right there Once he feels unloved, that shit is over Tank top in the chain. Yeah, yo. Young Vin Diesel. Little Weedle right here. All right, motherfuckers. Hey, that shit is still sparkling in the dark. He is sparkling in the dark. I'm surprised that David and Caden, whatever his name is, went like, what's...

I shot it over there. But yeah, now, hey, once we cross that line where Dylan feels unwanted, Dylan feels unloved, it's over. Everybody got to die. My name is Dylan. Well, what do you know it was loaded? He blew his old self back, too. He does that several times.

So these fools decorated the walls with a loaded gun and a house full of kids. A loaded shotgun. Oh yeah, they would have made great parents. That damn Dylan had to mess things up. Yeah, it wasn't Dylan, it would have been some other kid. Man, it's the one.

Dylan wouldn't even be another kid. Somebody would have stomped on the ground hard enough for that gun to fall off the wall and shoot some gun. Go off, exactly. Go off, yeah. A loaded gun on the wall. Poor Hadidine. She just showed up at the worst time. Oh, man. Hey! Where you at? Yo! She's gonna be hollering. He's got a little bit of a surprise on Didi. I gotta tell you about Tyler! My name is Dylan.

Nah, that's a conscience slipping. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, no. And guess what? Them feet in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bottom of her shit. Yeah, she saw you ass over there. Yeah. You blew ass away. God damn. Yeah, look, she got that look like she know she's fucked up. Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. Fuck, there he is. She's like, fuck, that's him. Fucking him. I ain't gonna look over there. He got the gun. He got the drop. You know what?

Get it over with. Yeah. The funny thing, because you tried to stop him from grabbing the gun early. He's like, oh, shit, he got that motherfucker now. He got it. Damn it. It's Dylan. That's it. He fires. Actually, that's one of the things I thought was cool, because every time he fires, he falls back. Logan across the room. He just backed up and grabbed that shit again. Which would happen, I mean, in real life. Yeah.

And after that, everyone, they just line up to die. They sure do. Like, they just, like, it's their turn. Like, like, like, like, right on cue. Mama's next. I'll always be loved. I'm sorry. I love you, mom. I always love you up in here and here. What did she drop the gun? She had a gun? She was trying to do that shit like.

Oh, that hand shit, you know. As long as you're here, we love you. Yeah, got the gun away from him, but. I know what you're doing. What did he hit her with? His knee. He hit his knee, yeah. He had a little tiny ass knee. I was going to say, okay. Yeah, I know. He'd be like, ow. He broke his knee off me.

He's like, y'all can't overpower a little 10-year-old. He's not even a big 10-year-old. You fuck that? Just punch him in his face and knock him out. Yeah. Break his goddamn face. It's frustrating. Yeah, trying to pull that little shit on me. Now you gots to go. Dude! It was almost like she put that ass up as a shield. She ain't gonna feel it if you're shooting that ass. Yeah, I know, she might have lived.

That was like a doctor's ass out though. Every time. I loved it. Oh, fuck. I gotta know how to use this thing. And they really do come in one after another. Again, right on cue. Dad, next! Welcome home, Dad, Mason. And then you start to realize Not only was a loaded gun on the wall, but how many rounds did it have in it? Give me the gun. You want the gun? I'll give you the gun. I'll give you the gun. Every time. Fuck! And as usual, there's a place where he's real.

reloading. No, he's not reloading. It's just like, there's about like 10 shots in there. Yeah. How many shells does he have? I mean, because he has to, he would have to put more shells in there. That's one of those where you just like, you like load in the bullets like that. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, I don't know how you're doing this. There's some cartoon shit right there. Yeah, it's loud like you use big shells, especially the way it's blowing holes in people. And somebody would have heard a shotgun going off four or five times. And as usual, Dylan gets to drop on everybody, but... In one satisfying moment right here, Maze is like, I'm sick of this shit. He starts to beat his ass.

He got the job on me. He's like, oh shit. How is no adult has ever done this to me? He's like, ew, is this what it feels like? Yeah, is this what it feels like? Oh shit, it hurts. Fuck, okay. I think I'm good now. All right, man, come out, come out. You got the fucking evil beat out of here. I give shit. You want some more goddamn coffee? But then once again the cops come in before Dylan can be stopped And once again Dylan gets away

Please tell me that you have Dylan locked in the back of one of those cop cars or something chained up. No, sir. By the time me and my guys arrive, I was gone. Of course. That guy was like, man, we ain't shit. I was just going to say, boom. Y'all thought y'all were bad. None of us is shit, but we ain't. Damn. You guys stopped this earlier, but we were making jokes. By Freddy Krueger. All right, but for real, I didn't know there was a real Elm Street.

He's like, I don't know who's worse. I can't get mad at you. You don't know your own precinct? Hey man, do you get shot by somebody? Shut the fuck up. At least he didn't shoot. You're right. All right. And there you go. And once again, you know, we're probably gonna get an adopted part three because Dylan has got away. Ah!

But we see Dylan one last time, and this time, with a twist. The new family's white! White! Oh shit, what are we gonna do with this? Hey, hey, still got, mama still got titties hanging out, as you can see. Oh yeah! Dylan got good taste, boy. Dylan was like, uh-oh. Jackpot. He probably saw her through the window before he went over there. Yeah, he did. He was like, oh, shit. Yeah, boy. He looking dead in my titties, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ha ha!

There you go, y'all. Until Adopted 3. Coming soon to a 2B new year. You got a white family. You got a white family. Watch. Watch. Because you both, all these black families have been acting like white families. Don't take my break. Watch. Some niggas are whooping his ass right. Right. I'm about to tear this ass up. What are you doing? Never bring a little ass over there. Well, there y'all go, people. That's it right there. Oh, Jesus.

I did like to find his brother, the little boy started whooping his ass. That was funny. That's why he said, I'm going to white family next. He said, these black people crazy. I didn't know they came on that.

All right, y'all. There you go. The movie's an hour and 45 minutes long, though. That's what was getting me. I was like, it don't need to be this long. No, it's not. No, no, no. Half these shits don't need to be that long. Well, you said there's a bunch of in the middle of nothing that happened. Yeah, yeah. There's a whole section where, like, nothing's happened. Yeah.

Because at least in the first one, he was going to school and doing weird shit and all that. Well, Marcus Houston, boy, I didn't let them do nothing in these movies. It's like, why you didn't hire him? But that ain't shit with the ant. It's hilarious, man. Yeah. Stuff at the ant. Oh. Yeah. Let me see here. And the two women died, by the way. The ones he shot. The mom and the aunt. Oh, yeah, I figured. You said they learned to die.

Does a dad die too? No. Let me see here. So the two hot women die? Yeah. Oh. Oh. The mom in Adopted 2 is Princess Love, ex-wife of Ray J. Why do you know that? Well, that kind of tracks. Let's see here. That Kardashian has something. Seattle Roma says, I edited a Tubi compilation. Perfect for tonight's roast theme. All right, let me see here. Let me see. What you got?

Let's see. Hopefully, it's not going to be something that's 10 minutes long. He's like, no, no, no. It's like 35. I kept it short. Oh, let me see here. What do we got here? All right. Where is that? Where's your... Oh, here we go. Here's your compilation right here. Go ahead and see what you got.

I told you I'm kind of my child with this boy. This is 10 minutes long. Ain't nobody going to watch this whole game. Yeah, man. You were joking. What if my boss and co-workers come out here and see you acting a fool? Then what? I'm fired. How you going to get child support now? Thanks. I don't give a damn about your dirty little co-workers. If you don't give me my money, my new man is going to fuck you up. He's like, what? Hey, sir, this is just a misunderstanding. I'm just a rental. Oh.

He rolled way the fuck down there. Yeah, yeah, he sure did, but he rolling over there. He's still rolling. You He's finally barely touching The hell you didn't. Tell him you ain't doing it. Drop your weapon and go to prison for the rest of your life like a good little boy. What? A dog? You see where he cut that head off. Go to prison for the rest of your life. Like a good little boy. That was That's why Bob had to bring in these other guys.

Shit is not tolerated, man. We don't do that shit around here, man. Fuck you, nigga. I don't know what you're talking about. Okay. Bro pick something There's a Dollar General right behind that building. That's where he bought some drugs. It's not even people that were by the car. It's just stock footage. Hey, love rolling around. These kids are so cute. Hey little man, what's your name? You know these niggas be on that weed and weed nowadays get you slow.

Hey, your neck is running down the street, paranoid. Oh! Now I'm Birmingham. Beats on from Bells. Play crazy, get hit with the Draco. Got some young niggas with me, gonna shoot if I say so. I can't wait till I... You everything that you were hoping that I can. And you've been driving me insane. Damn, I really love your brain. I love your hair. I love your style. I love your ass. I love your smile.

It'd be a reckless claim to say I think you wish that way. Oh, Jesus. Man, you just tell somebody you got a camera. You can get it. Right. I guess so. Yeah, you're right. We'll continue this later. So does Tubi only show bad movies with black people?

No, no, no. The Tubi shows classic movies. No, I know. I know. But like with the bad movies, they don't. It seems like it's always these compilations are always just black people. It's just got a reputation because a lot of people because Tubi is like YouTube in a way. Yeah, because a lot of people can. Make something and put it up there and get paid. Okay, so you just have a lot of people who just don't have no money

A lot of black people who make movies and just put it on there. Sometimes it feels like they have an agenda. And I know they're owned by Fox, like the Fox News Fox. And it just makes me feel like they're doing this on purpose. It could be. But it just I just could be just a lot of black people just submit stuff here because he takes anything or these black folks could be doing the same research. You just didn't go. I ain't doing that shit no more. Yeah, you know, whatever. I mean, you know.

But I actually said that a while back when we were first talking about it. Because when Oz and I were doing it, we were like, do they have an agenda? Y'all can find the video because we forgot what it was. We were watching a lot of these, but we were like... And we said the same thing. Fox News is behind it. Are they trying to make people look bad? Black people look bad? I kind of feel like, and I'm not one for conspiracy theories, but I'm starting to get that feeling.

You remember we had that conversation. So I'm not saying I disagree with you because we had that same thing. But I did also say like, I don't know, maybe just a lot of black people put stuff on because they do that on YouTube too. But, you know, but I don't know. I don't know. You don't have a whole. People ain't taking montages of black shit from YouTube and making videos out of them. I don't know. Tube is run by the CIA. OK.

Somebody sees on those court. Oh, let me see here. Kyle, the producer, were you the one that sent that email when we talked about that? Let's see.

This is Luigi. He says, good day. Good day. He's Australian. Good day to you all. As my second year as a Toasty, I want to share my top 10 favorite moments slash streams of 2025. Let me see here. This was 20 minutes long. I guess this is I think this is from stuff that we've done. He thought it was not. This is a bunch of random shit. He's talking about like 10 fitness influencers. It was spoken during What Up, Son? and the Craven Part 1 roast.

Yeah, I don't remember that one. Nine, Diddy Conversations. Eight, the Coldplay incident with the daddy's side chick. Seven, DT reacts on 2B moments as the origin of 2B Tuesday. Six. The Frankie Valli robot. You ever see the Frankie Valli robot? No, is it just Frankie Valli? Yeah, what it looks like. He's 95 years old on stage. It looks like a Frankie Valli. Yeah. No, it is just Frankie Valli. I was going to say, yeah, it got me.

Five, the straw roast. Four, Alan's Gifts. Three, Pop-Tarts and Jell-O shots. Two, the War of the Worlds roast. And number one. Captain Radio. Yeah, I miss the captain. He'll be back. Yeah, he had to fly back to his home planet. Captain Radio will return for doomsday. Okay, good. Now I'm looking forward to it. Honorable mention, adopted one. And from today's stream, adopted two.

When Corey talks about Raymond during the tuxedo roast. What did I say about Raymond? The Teenage Mutant Ninja double roast. Both those. The concert stage show and the Christmas special. AIMJ. Jack and Jill Roast and the Predator Roast. Thank you for everything for this year. See y'all in 2026. Thank you, Luigi. That's very kind of you. Let me see. What's your DT meme of 2025 for you and Martin and Billy? P.S. I'll make more Corey memes in 2026 so Martin doesn't get salty. I believe it.

To make more Corey memes, that means making one other one. as many as i made last year my friends and i recently did a watch party for tmnt concert film and during the scene where they play charades uh to guess what april o'neill is saying One of the turtles says Boston Strangler. Okay. I didn't catch that. I was going to say something like this or something nasty or something. Yeah.

No, they saved all that nastiness for when they went on Oprah. Yeah, they sure did. I was like, guys, tone it down. She was like, me too? Yeah, so the other day we were running a train on April. Right, right, yeah. It's getting so different. I mean, right. That's what they did. They tried to get over the wall. You know, we're just playing. And she's like, y'all can stop playing right now. And she's like, is anyone going to help me?

Dingo Ringo has a Dingo Ringo. He has an honor of Isaiah Whitlock. There's an animated role he did. What is this from? I don't know what this is from.

Oh, but instead of saying shit, he says potato chips. I guess it's a children's show. It's at two, two oh five is what you say. All right. Apple and onions. Let me see. I take a 205. All right. I don't know what this is, but let's take a look. 205. Where are you? All right. I will. Then have an apple for Mayer sticker. You as well.

Apple for a mayor! Apple for a mayor! I'll be a good mayor! Apple for a mayor! A very good and true mayor! Potato chips. These two are potato chipping up my re-election. Okay, okay, so you want to... So is this.

I don't know, but that was Isaiah Whitlock. Yeah, that is Isaiah Whitlock. He's a lot of people to know he did this animated role right here. It must be an Adult Swim show. Yeah, it's from Cartoon Network. Because, you know, they're using a reference in The Wire, so yeah. Well, it's, I guess it's... Kitshub is on Cartoon Network and it's from the UK. So I don't know. All right, so we're about to get out of here. I mean, I know there was a real nice email from a while back.

I wish I could find it. I can't. I'll look for it later when I don't have to search for it all night. And I would look at the Doomsday trailer, but man, ain't nothing going on with those, really. You know, it's just little short snippets of them talking. That's all. Yeah, them riding that motorcycle. Yeah, they got one with Thor that just came out.

Yeah, I was trying to find this. Remember this, guys? I like this. I was trying to find this real nice email, but, man, I can't find it. I'll search for it next time because I want this guy to not think that we're just ignoring him or I'm ignoring him. So, yeah, I'll look for this. All right, y'all. It's late. We're going to get out of here. And as we told y'all, the roast that won was the one. Mm-hmm. Accents and bad hairlines abound. I can't wait. First one of these. All right. All right, Joe.

Oh, all right. We don't get out of here. Thank y'all so much. Thank you, Martin. Thank you, Billy. And thanks to you guys for being here. We have Alan and last but not least, that guy, Jay to the B. JTTV. Yeah, Javier. I like to call him tequila soda. That's what we had last night. Yeah, boy, he had a...

Mexican martini for the first time yesterday. Oh, really? First time? Knocked his ass out. Oh, did it? I got two. That's right. You got two. That's why. Trudy's ain't even open no more. They're gone. Yeah, Trudy's is gone forever. Damn.

Ever? Yeah. Where'd y'all go? Mama Betty's. I don't know that place. Yeah, I saw him on a plane next to a guy with all the history of Trudy's. He told me the whole thing about how they shut down. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Trudy's is a restaurant here.

Man, I miss it because one of the first places I went to when I was in college, it was one right across, you know, right near campus. Yeah, they did. They did. They switched owners and then the food went down. What happened was they built a Trudy's that was out.

Yeah, yeah. I remember that one. It was huge. Out by Brian Brushwood. Yeah. I ate there with him one time. Yeah. And it was too big and it sunk everything. Oh, is that what it was? Yeah, it couldn't. Try to make it like a waste. Yeah, it was too big and cost too much money.

It's funny because at that time, that area was still developing. Now, there's so many places to eat out there. If they did it now, they could have survived. But Trudy's was never supposed to be like that. Oh, I know. It's supposed to be, you know. Just real restaurant, you know, not any bigger than Chewy's or something like that. Yeah, I think they call that the Southern Star Restaurant. Yeah, it's too bad, y'all. Yeah, it is. I just love that place.

And yeah, they were known for their Mexican martinis. The first time I ever had one. That was the place that had them. I mean, everybody's got them now. Right, right. But back then, it was true. That's the one that was in college right there. I used to go to that all the time. Between classes, we would go for...

Tacos and breakfast and queso. They had great queso. Great queso. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And their fried avocado was the best. The first one that had the ground beef queso was there. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, man. It was one right by my house. And now it's up.

Ojos Locos. Yes. Burn it road. There you go, y'all. Rest in peace. All right, y'all. We out of here. Thank y'all so much. And we'll see y'all on the next one. Whenever that will be. Let me see here. Until then, kcoolmans at gmail.com. That is K-C-O-O-L-M-A-N-Z. Get it, belly. Get it. at gmail.com. Email us with any kind of questions, comments, compliments, insults, input, and our advice. Keep going. Instagram, Facebook, Xwoman, Twitter, TikTok, Patreon.

Just go to any of those places. It'll take you where you need to be. Martin, you can find me on Instagram. Martin underscore no fro. Or message me through DoubleTubesit.com. And if you're in Austin, Texas, come see his show. But hey, you better email us first. Kcoolmans at gmail.com. Let us know what show you want to see, what day you're getting here, what time, what else you want to do. You know, all the information that you give us, the better we can help you. All right, everybody, that is it.

Good night. Good morning. Afternoon. Good evening. Whenever you listen to or watching this, goodbye. And stay toasty! All right, god damn it. For real, man. Well, you wouldn't lie. She was the one she was the one she was the one she was the one she was the one she was the one she was the one she was the one she was the one she was the one she was the one she was the one she was the one she