Amanda Pacheco: Wilmer’s Better Half is here!

Hello everyone. I'm Wilmer Valderrama.

I'm Freddie Rodriguez and this is the docent MINGOS podcast.

Yeah, we have a very special episode today. I don't even know where to begin. Our guest is someone that I've known for a long time. We've trusted each other with our lives. Shared of milkshake, Yeah we have, we have her milshik definitely got this boy to the yard.

Oh yeah, any of you there.

Guys are watching or listening to that AMOS podcast, Thank you so much. This is a very special episode, a very exciting one for us because he's getting it, He's getting a little personal, a little deeper dive. We normally never do this where you know, neither you or I never really do this, but foreign territory if you want to introduce who I guess this.

Our guest is a model, a dive master, a mother of two, and the partner to me and Mono.

Me Amigo, amandap a trick.

Yay yay yay yy yn Uh honey, Hi, welcome to the podcast.

How does it feel?

I mean I could literally count on like two fingers how many times I've talked into a microphone.

So uh.

Supernatural.

Yeah, well, look, we were gonna make it super easy because obviously this is this is the this, this is supposed to be interrogation, and we never have you know, it's agos, but today you're the third Ama.

You're so so very excited.

So we you know, Leo, our producer, Leo clam I had this idea that you know, we've gone the whole season talking to some amazing friends of ours who you know, have played different roles in our lives, and you know, it all came full circle too, you know, the two people in our lives that are made made a major, a major contribution, if not in life, life enhancing an altern moment as we revolutionize ourselves as actually not just grown ups but real men.

You know.

Yeah, yeah, So so we thought that having an episode where we just paid tribute to the women that makes us a hole in the women that makes us better, I thought, you know, would be a really cool idea. We have a little bit of a game for those of you who are expecting what this episode is going to be, and we're not going to play against each other a little bit and and Freddie's going to run that game. But before that, it would be my pleasure for you all to meet who Amanda Projecto is.

Yes, indeed, yes, indeed, Amanda. Where are you originally from?

So?

I was born in San Diego, and I grew up in a small town near Sacramento called Rockland, California.

Rockland.

I lived there for most of my life until I moved around as I got older and have lived all over. Yeah, mostly in northern California, southern California, but I jumped around, lived in Hawaii for a little bit, lived in the Philippines for a little bit.

Why did you move Why did you live there when you were a child? Why were you moving so much?

Well, this was not when I was a child, so this was like old like as I got older, so like just you know, growing up and took some time off of college and like just jumped around a little bit just to explore and have fun and live my life.

And why there?

Why did you choose to go to the Philippines and Hawaii?

So Hawaii, I mean for obvious reasons. I mean, he doesn't want to live in Hawaii. That was a magical time when I went to the Philippines. I went there for a scuba diving trip actually, and I went there for I went there for one week for on a liver board, So I basically like went on a dive trip.

You go on a dive boat for a week.

You live on the boat and you just hop around different islands and you go on a bunch of different dives. While I was there, I remember like I was on my phone and I'm like looking through my maps and I'm looking at all of the places that I was so close to, and I was like, I want to explore this place so much more so as everybody was like packing their bags up and they're like, oh, got to get back to work on Monday, I was like, do.

I really need to get back to work on Monday?

So I ended up saying goodbye to everybody that was flying home back to the States, and I ended up staying in Manila.

And by yourself.

By myself, and I ended up staying there for six months. Wow, just traveling solo. Completely different culture in the Philippines. Like I ended up like meeting a family out there. They like took me in and I ended up living there. I honestly never wanted to come home, but yeah, eventually I ended up coming home, But it was it was a magical time I went to Hong Kong. While I was there, I went to Bali. Where else did I go?

Yeah, I was going to ask, what was the thing about the culture that kind of captivated you so much, that decided that made you anchor yourself there and wanted to summerse yourself more in it.

I mean, just the hospitality of just the people there. It was just like, I don't know, I felt so safe there. I just felt like, I mean I was, I was by myself, you know, so traveling alone was terrifying for my dad. When I told him that I was staying there, He's like, what do you mean, Like why are you doing? What are you doing? You know, this was two thousand and seventeen.

I think I'm only asking because you said your dad was I'm a dad, so I could imagine the child at a certain age.

Says I want to stay in the Philippines for six months.

Yeah.

I mean, it doesn't matter like what age your kid is, like, you're always going to be like what as a parent, you know what I mean. But but yeah, my dad was absolutely terrified, like he blames all of his gray hairs on me. Not a specific time of my life, but but yeah, I just I don't know, it felt it felt like another home to me, and I don't know, I can't wait to take you back there sometimes.

Yeah.

So then when you started exploring the Philippines and you're like, oh, I think I'm gonna stay here forever. Why was the one thing that you're like, I got to go back home at some point?

Mostly like my family and my friends were like can you come home?

Yeah? Also your relationship with your dad, because you and your dad are like, yeah.

I'm so close with my family.

And that's the reason why, like I had lived so close, like I never like went too far from home because I just always wanted to be close to my family. So probably that, Yeah, But you know, you go on vacation, you're like, oh, I can't wait to come back here sometime, and then you realize like, well, I'm already here, Like why so like if you don't have to go home, like you never know when you're.

Actually going to go back to that place.

And for me, that's why I sometimes don't go home because I know that when you get back home, life gets crazy and then it's hard to get back to those places. So if I'm somewhere, I'm like, I'm just gonna stay if I can.

And did you have the same experience in WHI same thing.

I went there for my twenty second birthday, my twenty first birthday, and I told my mom I'm not coming home and she was like, hell you are, Like I was with my mom. We were actually we went for my birthday trip and she was like you're coming home with me, like you're getting on that plane. And I was like no, Well I ended up going home on the plane with my mom.

But I did go back like immediately after. And then I ended up staying there for about a year.

A year. Yeah, did you stay with the family.

No, No, not on that trip.

I stayed there for let's see, I say there for a year. Actually it was like under a year. I got Island fever pretty quick because I was like exploring.

Every single friend that we have that has either moved to Hawaii or moved there to do a job. Eventually, at some point, there's like a zoming in that happens that you're like, oh, okay, the most beautiful place in the world. How many times am I going to go to this beach? And like you know what I mean, like get repetitive, it gets then you get this this era where like, oh man, I you know, it's like the same day over and over and over again.

You know.

You know our brother Jay her Natty, you know, he had a tough one though, because he was leading the show and he was in Hawaii and he was basically in every single scene. So he was like so exhausted he couldn't even enjoy the place.

You know.

He would go like surfing and occasionally and stuff, but like at the end of the day, you're there to do this job. But as it is a unique kind of experience to go there, So then you explore how did you dive there?

Too?

At that time, I wasn't diving, so no, I was doing a lot of snorkeling, and a lot of friends that I had made there were like, don't get in the ocean because it's funny how a lot of like the natives are like very aware of how dangerous the ocean is. So I'm going there and I'm like, oh, I'm just gonna get in the water and I'm gonna swim forever. But they know how dangerous it is and

But what made those waters different or more dangerous than what? Because you were obviously accustomed to a certain type of water that you felt comfortable enough to just go swim.

What was different that made theirs dangerous?

I mean, I think just like bigger waves and you know, like just.

Unpredictable of waters.

Yeah, right, I mean it's also like it's very deep waters, so you're talking about some of the biggest animals.

In the water.

Or to a was added, I'm honestly way more terrified of sharks here than anywhere else.

So I guess you don't look like food anywhere else in the world except for California.

Yeah.

And then so then you came back to the United States, right, And then where did you go to school?

At that point? You had gone to school before that.

Let me think, So then I came back and what did I do?

What did I do?

I went to community college for like ever and then I moved to San Diego. I was going to go to school out there, and I was studying at the time environmental studies, and I was supposed to start school out there. The same week that I was supposed to go to school, that's when I got a call that my mom was sick, and so I moved back home and then never went back to school.

You you had when we first met, we had such an incredible inside of conversation about the moments in life that teaches you the purpose, right, I guess, and that maybe a little more specific the times we were recognizing that we both have certain patterns in our lives, you know, whether it was in relationships, whether it was in you know, in the way we live life, whether it was in professions, you know, how we looked at the world and uh we community with the world, and some of our differences

To your mother. Every year.

Every year we have a tradition where the whole family I was invited I think a year in so to go to go to this kind of you know, ceremonial, you know time where they go to San Diego and they pay respects to the mother, you know, and there's

Yeah, so my mom was diagnosed with stage four ovarian cancer. She it wasn't something that you know, it was anything we thought she needed to worry about, Like, it wasn't something that like was in our family, So it wasn't something that she was like on the lookout for. It's also a cancer that really has no like symptoms, no signs.

So you get the news and you embark in the journey of you know, staying by your mother's side throughout the process. And in one of some of the conversations that we had, you know, she had shaved her head with her mom and and it was just like to me, it was the most Uh, it was like the ultimate sign of you know, I'm going to stand by my mother's side and and all that, and I respected that

Now, yeah, we do, we do. My mom is suffering from something very similar now. She has a cancer and her pancreas and uh and so you know, we've we've also gathered in the way that you have and have been supportive.

And it's her third third bout with cancer.

You know, she had breast cancer in ninety eight, and it came back after my dad passed a couple of years ago, and then and then and then the third time. So so I you know, I I sympathize with you and and and very aware of what what you must have went through. But but he was saying that that that the journey has been also you bringing awareness to to that, how has that awareness, what's what's been what's that journey been like for you? Just shining a light on it.

I think the biggest thing is just talking about it, because there really is no preventative measures as far as overing cancer goes, So it's really just talking about it. And like there's the one test that's like kind of preventative is the Brucket one and two like gene mutation tests, so people can test for that. If they're positive for that, then you know that they kind of know whether or not, like that's something that could increase their chances of getting

Test for it.

She tested positive, and she thought she was doing her you know, routine checks for it to make sure that she wasn't, which is like either to do that test or like a vaginal ultrasound. Other than that, there's not a whole lot of like other tests that you can do preventatively. So she decided to get a surgery done to a hysterectomine and found out that when she woke up from surgery she ended up having over in cancer and she had no idea and there was no way

Finding community too.

But I was very taken by your passionate about prevention because you know, that's something in the Latino families. It's such a hard thing to push her families to just go to the doctor and just like just check it out.

I know you don't feel anything. I know you feel.

Perfect, but like let's go and check it out. And you had a really strong opinion about, you know, the prevention conversation versus what's allowed and when it comes to testing and the when is allowed for you to be tested? Do you mind talking a little bit about that, Like all those parameters that basically tell doctors telling you know, I'd come back in like ten years to come back.

And yeah, it's tough because they have these these age you know, where they think that this is when you should go and get these tests done, like whether you're forty five or fifty. So I have to really advocate for myself on these tests, and you know, they are starting to realize like, oh, you know, women are getting diagnosed a lot younger. So when you're pushing for these things or starting to realize like okay, you know, being

And I was like, no, I do need to worry about it.

How old were you when you were asking for it?

So when my mom got diagnosed, I was twenty two, Yeah, twenty two, twenty three, and so yeah, around that age is when I wanted to figure out like where my like blood markers were at, where I like my starting points were.

And what would they tell you when you would ask for it.

They would just tell me, well, because I have a history of it, Like they were like okay. But at the same time, you know, I had a history of like my grandfather died of colon cancer, and so when my mom was sick, I was all messed up, like I had all kinds like my body was not okay, and so internally.

You were stressed, very stressed.

Yeah, and so then I started asking for a khnoscopy because I was like, maybe I'm not okay, like maybe something's wrong because of how my body was managing the stress. And so when I asked for a Kolenosophy and there was reasons why, they were like no, like and even I fought for it, and then finally when they gave it to me, they still like gave me really hard time. While I was there, they were just like, why are you here. You're the youngest person here. You don't need this, Like,

Do, Like yeah, of course, and I'm so by the way, thank you profoundly for being so open and vulnerable to talk about these things, because you know, most of our generation, a specific our age group, you know, we're entering a zone where like we should have been tapping into this thing way earlier, like we should have been, you know, just aware of where it could go, so you could really be aware. You know, calling cancer is the most preventable all you have to do is just check it out.

Right.

So so so that's when so when that happens. It's just I felt in a lot of my conversations and a lot of my advocacy for calling cancer, I've I've realized that it's sometimes culturally where you know, that is almost like not at the conversation which you have right you know, and as Latinos like definitely this weird taboo about this thing that people don't even want to you know,

It targets every single one of us.

And the fact that you're able to talk about it and be that open about it is it's it's really incredible because we need these conversations to happen at the most unlikely places so people can actually be come across with information that hopefully inspires them to say you know what, dude, Like tomorrow, I'm going to make that call. Like I hope anyone who's listening this conversation where now it goes shit, man,

But even her point of view about ovarian cancer, because you had a really interesting point. You said that unlike other cancers, there's no real Yeah, there's no real symptoms, there's no real detection. Right, there's there's a sort of age in place in which the doctors suggest that you go and get tested before anything, right, Like what age would the doctor say is average that a woman should go get tested for a varying cancer?

I feel like most of these are like in your forty, like fifty, even.

Fifty is like starting point.

But even then, like if you if you don't have like any like signs or whatever, then they're like, oh, you know, you should be fine unless there's something that you feel is not fine.

You know.

But but then but by that time, you said, then it's too late.

If you do have a you could have had something at thirty fifteen years later.

Yeah, and I think that was like my mom's biggest work, like, like she always wanted to know is this something that I had for a really long time and I didn't know about it and I could have known about it? Or is it something that like I just woke up with and it's like, yeah, so we'll never know.

How was her mother?

She was forty five four?

And did she find out a forty five she found out?

Yeah, and then they gave her six months to a year in one year, like almost to the day of her diagnosis.

Did your mom have a history of it before she got it?

Not that we know of, Okay, Yeah.

So that's tough, right for like women like your mom.

Who is just like a fluke.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, just like you know, so should that be something would you suggest for all women?

Like at twenty five.

I think that you should be like it should be getting checked out.

Right, right, you know, it's it's it's a it's an ever evergreen conversation, right, I mean, I think it's like the best solution is to just get on it. I mean, like and then and and we obviously now as a guarantee a solution, you know, but if you don't talk about maybe your mom didn't have any history of over in cancer before her, and now you do. Right, So now she has it, and now Amanda now has you know, history,

If you let go because you're feeling something's not right, then it's scary. But if you go and you're like, oh, I feel fine, nothing's going to be wrong, then it's a little.

Easier, easier, easier.

Yeah, yeah, well pivoting from that, you know, and again very grateful that you went there with us.

The the idea.

That this was one of the moments like this is the woman that was carrying herself with so much truth, so much reality, and so much foresight was one of the first things that I was like, she's really interesting.

I feel like I'm going to know her.

And when we first met, uh, it was this ongoing conversation of the things that we actually wanted in life, which.

Was where how did you first to meet?

Well, we had a mutual friend. We both have like interesting perspectives from where she's this, she has a different perspective.

Absolutely the shorter version and I said, the cliffhanger because we might use this one for social is that I really fell in love with your dad first. You know, this is the clip that Leo wanted for social media.

And your dad's a cool guy.

Oh, he's a cool He's he's my second dad too, you know, he's just he's awesome and he's an incredible friend to my dad.

He's just a great truck driver.

He is a retired truck driver, thank god. Finally.

Yeah, tell us a little bit about that history too, because that was something that your last.

Name is Pacheco.

So your dad, what's his ethnic background?

My dad is Mexican.

Mexican, and yeah, he was a truck driver for all of his life and recently retired this year.

So he finally did it.

Grew up on that truck. I met your dad.

He was talking about retiring, but he actually did it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you talked to him about it like four years ago, you know.

Oh yeah, I finally like kicked him.

Hard enough and he did it. That's it done.

So we met to a mutual friend and and I kind.

Of like we we we.

I kind of was in this like I was like, oh, should I say hi?

Should I not?

You know, like it was this serendipitous feeling that I felt like I needed to connect with her. And as soon as we connected, it was, you know, she was she had plans to move to Miami because she wanted to do model in Miami. One more of her adventures where it's gonna lead her to Miami.

Irid living in San Diego when you when you.

Met, she had moved to maybe a month ago.

Yeah, so it was a quick intersection before she jumped on another flight go to Miami. But either way, she was wondering about Miami and all the stuff, and obviously I'm from Miami, so I was giving her advice on where to do, where to live, and you know, like the things to expect about Miami and all that, because you know she was gonna go to Miami, you know. And in one afternoon we decided to meet for for coffee and we met at zinc in uh or sincue.

Zinc or sinkue zinc at no No.

This was in in La so we in West Hollywood, across from the Pacific Design Center, and we just had like a three hour conversation about everything that you know, that about our lives and all that, and I just

And as soon as a guy in the.

Car and I drove it to her car, you know, and as soon as I took off, I was like, I think this is going to be my friend.

I think I'm going to have a new friend, you know.

And we kind of send each other a few messages and then she was like, Hey, what are you doing Monday when you get in?

And I was like, this hang out again.

So we we met a second time and then we were just you know, talking and talked more and had the great time. And was that when we went to the movies or when did we go to the movies after?

Yeah, we went to the movies, like right after that.

On the second time.

Yeah, so second date movies.

So we went to see the movies and there to the movie. Yeah, okay, so we're gonna go to the movies and my friend Toda was going to meet us there and all stuff, and dude, it was the opening nine for Dumble and We're gonna go watch Dumble And as Tim Burton dumb And as we walk in to the movie theater, my mom and my two sisters coincidentally show up to the same movie.

This was not planned at all.

I still don't believe that it was.

It was not planet all, but it was the opening night. It was like the showing before dinner, right, So, like I.

Knew that my sisters were gonna go to a movie at some point, and of course it was gonna be in this night. And we woke up and I'm like a man, meet my mom and my sisters. So of course Cinderella and my sisters are like, you know, two sisters, and like she you know, and you know, obviously they're so sweet, they're funny. They were like totally fine. But but of course for her it's like what the will

So she like was thrown in the deep end on the second.

I mean, that's a big that's a big deal.

But yeah, but but it was.

It was beautiful because you know, we went to the movie and we didn't we didn't have you know, she didn't have to talk to them, So so that was good. The craziest part for me was when we went to dinner right after and and uh, we're sitting there and my friend had, my friend had, you know, brought his daughter, like his daughter, and they're sitting there and you know, she finds out that Amanda is it is a dive master,

Mm On the second day.

The second day, I just know she was going to be an incredible mother. The way you took the time to talk to her, I was like, she has half that patience with our annoying as kids, and it's gonna be pret thankfully. Uh Nacana is just as an adventure freakings as her mother.

Yeah, pretty good.

But let's hold that right there, and we're gonna say this is part one and stay tuned for part two of my conversation with my Jimmy Turi and I think next we're gonna play a little game too.

A little game.

Stay tuned.

Dose Amigos is a production from WV Sound and iHeartMedia's Michael through That podcast Network, hosted by Me, Freddie Rodriguez, and Wilmer Valdorama.

Those Amigos is produced by Aaron Burlson and Sophie Spencer Zabos.

Our executive producers are Wilmri Valdorama, Freddie Rodriguez, Aaron Burlson, and Leo Klem at WV Sound.

This episode was shot and edited it by Ryan Posts and mixed by Sean Tracy and features original music by Madison Devenport and Halo Boy.

Our cover art photography is by David Avalos and designed by Deny Holt.

Claw And thank you for being at Third Amigo today. I appreciate you guys always listening to those Amigos.

More podcasts from my Heart, visit the R Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows, so you next week