Dope Labs Archives: Cuffing Season

It's a bye week this week, which means there isn't a new episode of Dope Labs, but we are really excited to reshare one of our very favorite episodes.

Yes, it's three years later, but not too much has changed. Our Cuffing season schedule is the same, so we're right in the draft of Cuffing season.

And if you're.

Wondering what we're talking about when we say cuffing season.

This lab is for you.

If you're on the market for a new boot, get out your pen and paper.

I'm TT and I'm Zukiah.

And from Spotify Studios. This is Dope Labs. Can and I met in grad school where we were both getting our pahds. Mine is in engineering and hers symbology. It was a tough time, to say the least, and in our pursuit to get the hell out of there, we became cousin. You know how black folks do. She my play cousin.

TT and I would set up our experiments to run overnight. Then we'd go to the bar calculing those people's faces until about two am, go home, change our lipstick to a daytime color, and head back to the lab. So we've basically been doing this podcast since twenty eleven.

We're just now hitting record.

This podcast ain't for your mama, it ain't for your kids. We're talking about things from TMZ, shade Room, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, the barbershop, the hair salon. We are the people's scientists, so we're talking about things that you and your crew are going to be talking about in your group chats and at brunch.

That's right.

If grad school taught us anything is how to ask a good question. So what we're gonna do is take all the t and shade from the internet and use the scientific approach.

Oh, like, how did Safari get that new airlines?

Yes?

Was that inpatient or outpatient?

Sir?

I don't know.

And then everybody talking about mercury being in retrograde? What does that have to do with your bad attitude? How you can't keep using that excuse?

And like, what is the sunken place? Is that a real thing? Is that like a real disorder?

No, that's a real place. It has to be.

I think the guy that's at the front door at my apartment building is in the sunken place. Every morning when he sees me, he says, good morning, madam.

Nobody talks like that, he's.

A black man. No, nobody's talking like that.

When it comes down to it, we just want to help you appreciate the science in your day to day.

Trust us, we're doctors. Welcome to the lab.

Go to TG go to key t.

Up.

Before we dive into our first subject, we really want to just lay out how this podcast works.

Dope Labs is based on our actual experiences in the lab, because, like we said earlier, we're actually scientists.

The first step in any lab is a recitation.

And a recitation is like a summary.

In the recitation, we bring everyone up to speed and lay out the basics.

What do we already know and what do we need to know.

Then it's time for the deep dive. We call that part of the podcast the dissection.

And that's when we bring in the experts and ask them all the questions. Finally, you draw your conclusion and at that point you're basically a scientist.

So that's twenty years or so. But at Constant School.

Yeah, but I think we're in the position to really grant people like PhD I dub the a doctor.

You sir, are a biologists.

Why not?

So let's get to the recitation.

Today, we're talking about cuffing season, and so let's figure out what we already know about it and what we want to know more about And who knows better than y'all the people on the front lines of cuffing season. Let's hear what you have to say.

Do either of you know what cuffing season is? I don't no idea?

Is that? Where do you start cuffing your paths around fall time?

What's cuffing season?

Yeah?

I don't know.

It's hard to explain. It's like when you got a mutual thing with somebody and you're ready to stop seeing other people, then you take that leap.

Well, you know, I think it's the phenomenon that the colder months are coming. You don't want to endure those by yourself. Something from my very distant past before I met my current wife, winter hibernation.

You date people over the winter. Yes, that's exactly it. So you guys are locked in, Yeah, and we have handcuffs?

Whoah?

Are you all ready for cuffing season?

Ah? I am not ready for cuffing season. I'm taking applications. My dms are open.

Are you trying to be a kuffer or a cuffee, you want somebody to come get you. You're trying to be out here.

So like, I'm a strong, independent black woman.

All right, everybody, all.

These men, everybody around what happened, But like I would want the cuffin to be mutual, Like we both come to a place like damn, I really violece with you heavy, Like Damn, I think I might love you now we're cuffed.

Okay, so that was my first time talking to strangers not mine.

We know cuffing season has become pretty mainstream since it started trending on Twitter about a decade ago.

Yeah, some mainstream. Now even white folks know about it.

That's right.

But for those of you who are still living under a rock and you're still unclear about what we're talking about, here's the breakdown. It's the time of year when single people start to look for a partner to be their boo until the weather gets warm, my boo hoo. That falsetto This is definitely not a long term thing. It is a short term situation for people who don't like to go out and be social during the wintertime, and when it warms up, you release that cuff back into

I'm looking at one of these calendars right now, and it's like a day to day breakdown of what you're supposed to be doing. It is crazy. Flirt Week starts in September, the first week of September, and then you have to start sending good morning texts at the end of September. Then the good morning texts continue through October. The first week of October, and then the last three weeks of October, you're supposed to be sealing the deal.

Cuffing season draws elements of so many different sciences psychology, biology, chemistry.

Genetics, and if we can understand some of the science behind cuffing season, maybe it'll help us strategize.

Write Zakiah, that's right, full disclaimer. Okay, I see where you're going.

So this past cuff and season, I was all in. I was gung ho.

I said, yes, I'm going to fully participate. I'm out here, you know. I was like, all right, I'm I'm looking for a cuff, but nothing too too serious. I know you think I have a commitment problem, but I.

Mean she has a commitment problem.

I could go with a six month contract, you know, and based on performance and option to renew.

That's like a cell phone plan.

That's right.

I have a lot of questions about what's actually going on, Like, is this something that is innate within all of us? Have we always been cuffing like we're Adam and Eve cuffing?

Hey, apples are a fall fruit? Do animals have a cuffing season? Does it fit the same schedule or calendar year like we have.

I don't know. So I think we should call in some reinforcements.

It's time for the dissection.

We evenen listed our good friend, doctor Alex Tria t helps Akia figure out what she's been doing wrong.

I haven't been doing anything wrong.

Okay, okay, that's that was unfair, But there's always room for growth.

I'll take it.

Hi, my name is Alex Trio and I'm a behavioral a cologist.

I'd get it for College, Alex studies a sexual selection and mating behaviors of beetles and other species.

I'm thinking more along the lines of Prince Charming, not beetled you. But I guess if you think about it, humans, we're just animals, these bingernails, soft claws.

That being said, things have changed a lot since Kman days, right.

Girl, Things have changed since the sixties.

Really, if we're being honest, since the nineties.

Except turtlenecks. Turtlenecks are still in.

That is very true. Turtlenecks are evergreen. But the point is we're not out here trying to cuff two half babies.

That's right.

But for animals, they only care about one thing when it comes to mating, and that's offspring. Reproducing means surviving. It's all about them babies.

And the partner and animal chooses to couple up and have offspring with is crucial. So Alex is going to talk to us about how animals make that choice.

What are they looking for?

She says, it starts with environmental cues. A change in the temperature is usually the first signal to an animal that is time to start looking for a partner.

Ai Monogami is going to be somewhat ceasonal right, because they're going to be looking for the time. What they're looking for is the time where gestation's over and then the best season.

At which there are spring is going to be able to survive.

Colder weather means less food.

So the idea there is mate in the winter and then when you have your babies in the spring, there's more resources.

How do they start looking for the right partner to you know, copulate with.

It really depends on the species, and it depends on the ecology of the species. What are the strategies that they're gonna have.

Ecology that means the animal's environment, and more specifically is the amount of resources like food that's available in that environment.

In general, animals are looking for food, right, So females are looking for food. If those resources are clumped, there's lots of food in one single place, in one single patch, lots of females are gonna come to it.

And as Alex says, it also refers to where those resources are.

Those resources can be uniformly distributed in a space or they can be clumped.

Right.

If resources are clumped, then it's more probable for a female or several females to be in one single place.

That means before it gets cold, an animal wants to go somewhere with a lot of resources because that's where they're going to find the white selection.

Of potential partners.

Right.

So basically this kind of translates to like the free drinks or early drinks for women at the bar.

Right, And so then when there's free drinks at the bar, then all women run to the bar to go get those drinks.

Then the men pay so they can come and have access to those women.

But the bar culture, like it can get really weird.

Yeah, you never know what you're gonna get.

Do you remember that time we went to a bar and a guy sent me a drink and then never came over to say hi, never said a word. I was really confused, like thank you?

I guess hey, So you never a durable strategy for him, but free drinks for us.

Right.

Let's get back to the animals for a second. Are there any other species that replicate cuffing season?

Yeah? Like, are there animals out there that are keeping a mate for the fall and winter season and then just leaving them? That's cold hearted? Yeah.

So one really cool example is red foxes. So red fox are, for example, a species that starts their pairing during the fall, and once they pair up around the end of the fall December, the beginning of winter, they pair up with a male and then they stay with that male through how the winter season.

Yeah, and in general, a female will date several males until she finds her wintertime companion.

The female tends to go into a den and the male stays outside of the den and feeds her.

That's pretty much how Jimmy cuffed me.

He still bring in us treats.

Yeah, he got me some slim gems this morning.

Then when the winter's over, the two foxes go their separate ways and the female goes through the same process again. So the male red fox next winter might be the step dad.

That sounds like a Moury episode waiting to happen. You are not the father, but you still need to feed these babies.

The resources are clumped, all your potential partners are here. Do the animals just pick one mate?

I think that's a good question. Some animals are monogamous and they're just looking for lifelong partner.

There are lifelong monogamous species, right, so and those there's a very cool examples. Right, So there's beavers and they yeah, when they made they made for life.

Right, there is.

Eagles then tend to make for life. Swans tend to make for life.

Different species have all kinds of reasons for being monogamous. For birds is just because it makes it easier to raise the babies and teach them to fly. For other species is genetic.

So for example, in the case of prairie bowls, it was.

A prairie bowl like those field rodents, seventy five percent of them are monogamous, and that really depends on their basuppressing receptors.

Basically their vessel what vasa pressing. It's a hormone that the brain releases and it promotes this like sensation.

Of a reward. Gotcha, Like an anniversary. Good yeah, y'all still together, same partner, another year reward.

When they copulate with the same female several times, it's a positive feedback and therefore they will continue to be monogamous.

But if a male is in an environment where all the resources are clumped, like all those girls at the bar, he might be polygamous.

And get this, there are two types of polygamy. One for males and one for females.

Polygamy is the umbrella.

And within polygamy, you have one male with lots of females that's a polygynous male, and then you have one female with lots of males that's a polyandric female.

So polygyny is a man with a lot of women, and polyandry is a woman with a lot of men.

That's you.

That's you, not me. I'm married girl. Hmmm.

Okay, that was you.

Yeah, that was me.

So you can be monogamous or polygynists or polyandrous. It all depends on what increases your chances of reproductive success.

All right, Okay, I'm starting to see the connections. Now, this is really interesting. When we get back, we're gonna talk more about strategy. What can we learn from our animal friends to help us the next time coming season comes around.

And we're back and it's time to talk strategy.

We love talking to the people about some of their cuffing seasons does and don'ts, So let's hear what they have to say.

First, what's your advice for somebody that's trying to cuff someone this cuffing season?

Get rid of social media. That's a distraction.

Just focus and just make sure yourself is right first before you offer yourself to somebody else.

It's all about communication, you know what I'm saying. It's all about communication. So if somebody feel in a certain type of way, they need to say that, so it can be either embraced or it can be shut down, and then it's all good, you know.

Can we just make a cuff rule? Yeah, no ghosting, no sting.

Let's leave ghosting in twenty seventeen, in twenty eighteen too.

It's totally gone.

Okay, Alex, give it to me straight. Once these animals pick the one they want to cuff, how do they seal the deal? What's their strategy?

So you can either fight for a female or you can directly attract her.

To do both of those things, fight or a tract, you need strong secondary sexual characters. So those are the features that help attract a partner, but that you don't actually need to reproduce, because, like we said before, a lot of us are just looking for.

A friend, not a baby.

So are some examples of secondary characters like feathers on a peacock or antlers on a.

Deer exactly, and secondary characters for humans could be something like nice shoes or a nice car.

A fresh lineup, a deep voice. Ooh, that's like a mating call.

Yeah, so I work with a species of frog that has a very very clear, strong distinctive call to attract females.

Can we hear that? Can you play something for us?

It basically translates to what a party? Yet that's not kinda sound like ring my bell to you? You know that part?

They're like boom boom, and that's my hey, come on sing a girl and full of possibility.

It's co fi season.

Secondary sexual characters, the feathers, the big fluffy tail, the mating call are key to attracting your mate, but they can also create a problem.

Oh, plot twist.

The problem is that attraction to females come up with a cost. The cat also attracting predators and parasites.

So while you might be attracting the right potential mates, you're also attracting a lot of trash, including the type of trash you don't want to see.

Like ever again, this is something I feel like we as humans can really relate to. Have you ever attracted an unwanted parasite?

I want on a date with a man that ordered dessert for himself.

Oh I remember this.

He ate it all then proceeded to lick the plate. I almost screamed out loud. I was mortified, and I was like, there is no way I can go on another day with this man. And he was like, I hope you had a good time. You know, I was being nice. Yeah I did. He was like, ye'all, I'll text you and we can go out again. And in my mind I just keep seeing him licking this plate, trying to get all of the caramel and chocolates off of it, and I almost vomited. Do you remember when I called you?

Yes, you were like, oh my gosh, I'm just I was just trying to go home and he's eating this whole day.

And then you said he was looking at you over his.

Eyes were over the little dessert plate and he looked at you as he licked the plate.

That's a lot of confidence.

I can't you're looking the glaze off the plate. I don't want anything to do with you. I was like, get me out of here. Yeah, you really got to weed out the plate liquors. But what if you change your mind?

Like what if you do all that work only to realize that you really chose the wrong one.

I guess that's the beauty of cuffing season right, you hang in through the winter and release them back into the wild. And from monogamous species where mating isn't really seasonal it's for life, they have a way of working around that too.

So here's the thing that is cool, though, is that even in those species that mate for life, right, there's still a possibility for EPCs. EPCs are extra pair copulations right, situations where you are meeting with one individual or you are monogamous because you're in a relationship or in a bond with that other pair, but you can still sexually or basically copulate with other individuals outside of your pair.

So like an animal can be monogamous but not really. And is it mostly males that do this? Or can females engage in EPCs too?

So there is a lot of thought about why this happens on females like on males.

It kind of makes.

Sense supposedly because it has to do with the quantity of offspring you can have. Right, So a male has a lot of sperm, right, It produces a lot of sperm, and therefore it has the ability to sire a large number of offspring.

Right.

In general, that's what happens with most males. Females have eggs, right, and those are costly. They're finite. There's only a number of them that you can actually use, and so females tend to be more careful with their eggs because they can't just have tons of them every single one of their offspring.

What they're thinking about is a quality of that offspring.

So for a long time there was a controversy like why did that females do this? The thing about it is that females might do this because by copulating with males, they might be able to choose those males that are higher quality.

It's funny that even animals have their own weeding out process, Like, even if a mate has all of the secondary characters out there, you still have to make some decision about which of those secondary characters it's most important to you.

It reminds me of when we were out on the street talking to those strangers and we ran into that random group.

Do you remember, Yeah, they were a lot of fun.

Yeah, And we talked to them about cuffing season and what was that One girl's instagram name Sophia Loren, right, and she was telling us about her strategy.

What should I be looking for? Like this is a sign of a good cuff.

So you need to have one that's definitely gonna always come with the food, always offer meals, baby with you and I'm trying to get something to eat.

Like, then you need an activity one.

So you need one who always know like, oh we about to go ice skaning, be about to go to MGN, we about to go gambling, like he just always got something that he want to do. Then you need a partner that's gonna hit you with the like can I help you? You know? Can can I get the car clean? Can put the gas in the car? Like he just he just kind of right, you know, like something happened to the door. You need to get the doorbell fixed,

Need a presentable one.

He ady, but he just gotta drop properly if presentable, so you can bring him along. So it's like three of them are like providing resources like the bring your activity, but the one you might be coming for you is like the peacock is like he don't really gotta say too much, but when he brings out those feathers, you're like, is that your boot right?

And because keep anyone that you want.

Once to get down to.

The line, sophil Leren really had it figured out. She and her friends called that the hotation approach, where they have sort of a rotating roster until it's time to cuff one down. So it's almost like having sister wives. But I guess for them, what would the equivalent of that.

Be Brother Bays.

Yeah, brother Bayse who is on your lineup of brother Bays.

So I agree with her that I need somebody that will bring me food that is very important to me. I think I also need someone who knows stuff about cars, specifically because my car is borderline a hoopde at this point and I don't want to take it to the shop anymore. I want you to tell me, oh, you just need an oil change so I can save some money. And then I think I would need one that's like the finest one of the bunch, because he's the one

I think I would definitely want the food boo, but I need like a.

A My food boo is gonna have to be different.

I'm looking for a food boo who wants to like, let's hit all the Michelin star restaurants like I want. We're not about to eat these chicken tenders, no I want.

Let's not sleep on chicken tenders. Chicken tenders are good, but like Clutch Snack, Philly Wing Fro just opened it Whole Foods on Fourteenth Street, let's go like I want that kind of thing. I also need like, uh, let's hang out just at the house and watch all the horror movies and cackle it all the stuff on the internet. And I'm gonna send you this article even though you're right beside me, because I want you to read it and see how trash it was.

So let's play a game.

We know what's important to us for our brother base, but we want to hear from you guys.

Check us out on Instagram and we have a brother.

Bay light and on there is a form where you can just screencap it and fill in your brother base.

So once you fill out your brother Bay roster form, tag us at Dope Laps Podcasts and post it to your Instagram and we'll share it on ours.

What a whirlwind.

That was so much fun.

So I feel like we learned a lot in the dissection. Alex taught us that cuffing season is nothing new, is not unique to humans.

Now every species is pretty much cuffing, just in different ways, and so some is seasonal, some.

Is like resource driven. Sometimes it's for a lifetime.

Could you love somebody for a lifetime?

Yeah, with the right Red Foxes ringing me treats outside the Cave.

Absolutely.

You know what I think of every time I hear red Fox. It's not the name of the guy from Yep, Sanford and Sanford and Son.

Yep, I'm coming Elizabeth. That's exactly what it is.

It feels like even with all of that variation, maybe humans are in some way like a capsule of all the differences in these like all the approaches we see, I could liken each of those approaches to somebody.

I know, right, it's like out in the Wow that it's way more simple for them to cuff than it is for humans. Because we've got all these factors rolled up into one. It's it's just a lot to consider when when you're out there either trying to be cuffed or trying to cuff someone else.

Well, you don't have to consider it anymore. You're married, Well I don't have to consider it, but me.

You we a unit. I'm considering it for on your behalf because.

I'm here on behalf of Zekiyah exactly.

And so we're in this cuffing season together.

As long as I don't show up to my cave and someone is there saying T T sent.

Me, what would be wrong with that? I think I would be able to set you up with a really nice young gentleman. Excellent challenge you perfect, That's all I need. I was just looking for that gateway. Everybody's sliding into the key as dms include a picture not of your genitalia.

Please, No of your secondary care if your second primary.

Yes, So that's it. This is dope, laughs. This is who we are, This is what we do. Did y'all like it?

What do you think? Give us some feedback. We want to hear from you.

We had so much fun making this pilot episode, and we really hope that you guys come back to listen to more of our shenanigans. So this season we're going to get into a lot of things the kid what like, tell them some of the stuff we're getting.

Oh, oh my god.

We're about to talk to you about these men out here with these hair pieces edge of Snatch. We're digging really deep into that. We're also going to talk to you about makeup on fleek. Everybody's into fenty beauty, but do you know about those nanoparticles? Listen that makeup? What's giving you that glow. We're also gonna talk about bad blood. What does it mean?

Big bone?

Really?

I have a friend that's big boned, and so we're gonna talk about it.

Plot twist is me, So we're gonna really jump in talk about all the science you really care about.

We're bringing it to you. Our producer is Jenny Raddlet.

Masked mixing and sound designed by Alicia but Etube and Samantha Gatsik.

Original theme music is by Taka Yasuzawa and Alex sugi Ura, with additional music by Elijah Alex Harvey. Our consulting producers are Raka Murphy and Graham Griffith.

We love y'all so much.

Special thanks to today's guest and expert, doctor Alejandro Trio, and also thank you to Spotify for creating the sound up boot camp that made it possible for us to bring you Dope Labs.

Today, because without them, we would literally be talking into our fists. We'd still be at the bar, having whiskey and talking to strangers.

And telling these same old jokes.

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Shidia and Zakiah Wattley.

Whoop poop, Oh my gosh, I think somebody is trying to cuff me. I'm for real, somebody is trying to cuff me. Good morning, dew Drop.

Has anybody called you a dow drop? What does it mean?

Is that like honeydew?

M I hope not.

What What did you just say?

You misspoke? Everybody knows how they do. Is a champion? Fruit canalope out of here? Honeydew definitely in.

They're the same thing, essentially.

Oh that's not right.